Everyone is always so quick to offer their two cents, even if they weren't asked. Most of the time, this intrusion comes from a good place in their heart, that place where people want to offer assistance to those they love. However, the occasional piece of advice will be mistimed or misinformed, leaving you with something you're unable to use.
Reddit user, u/timshweaty, wanted to know the worst of the worst when they asked:
It's Soooooooo Obvious!
"Just get pregnant and marry him. He will have to stop cheating if you do..."
God am I glad I didnt listen to that.
They Have Tiny Stomachs, See?Giphy
"You only need to feed newborns once a day"
cough cough child abuse cough
Pop One Out. That'll Fix It.
I was told multiple times by her family that having a child would help fix our marriage. "You'll both be focused on the kid , it'll help you bond."
When I explained that I didn't want to bring a child into an unstable environment based on a gamble, the prevailing thought was that I was being selfish. Unreal.
Well, You Knew What You Were Paying For
If you have a bicycle, saw it in half and get two unicycles.
Advice from an honest hobo in San Francisco holding a sign that said "$1 for bad advice."
That's...That's Not How Math Works...
Don't worry about the cost of the wedding you'll make it back in the gifts.
"Your dog came from an abusive household and is shy around people? I suggest starving him for a few days until he is forced to eat from your hand."
"My dad is not good with money."
My dad told me to get a goddamn balloon lease on a f-cking car as soon as I graduated college. I had NO idea what was going on and thought I'd bought the car. Imagine my surprise 4 years later when not only did I own zero cars i also owed $20k or had to get a new car.
My dad is not good with money.
The Times Are A Changin'
Back when originally job seeking - pretty much everything my parents told me to do.
Like sure, it may have worked in your day to give them a slip of paper with your name and the words "reliable and keen", but most major chain stores hire through an online form these days.
It's So Easy. Just Stop.
"you're so depressing just be happy and smile " but mom I have depression-
Simply Stay Out Of Trouble
If your going to get in trouble, you might as well make it worth the trouble.
WORST. ADVICE. EVER.
It Goes A Little Deeper Than That
When I was really upset and finally decided to open up my friend told me to "just smile" and it would "trick my brain into thinking I was happy" then ignored me for a day.
So Easy. Why Don't They All Do It?
When I was homeless people who suggest I get a job at McDonald's or similar. People who are homeless need help, and I really needed access to mental health care and a safe place to live.
But apparently McDonald's is a great place for someone in the midst of a mental breakdown!
What Matters Is How You Do It
"Practice makes perfect."
If the practice is not directed properly, the performance will not be good.
Have seen this to be the case in sports and entertainment.
"Just do it." First runner up. Like a teacher telling an autistic child to "Just read aloud."
Nothing Like Getting Your Medical Advice From Fake Science Sites
My mom's ex-husband advised me to feed my newborn raw cow's milk to cure his reflux.
Let that sink in. Raw... cow's... milk. For a newborn.
THIS KILLS THE BABY.
The More, The Better
When asking about natural birth control: "Just don't use it and have lots and lots of babies, they're so cute and fun!"
She was dead serious.
The Sun Is Out To Kill You
"Don't worry about putting on sunscreen, you won't even be outside for that long!"
I'm a very fair skinned redhead.
I even had sunburn on my scalp.
Ask For Help
"If you want something done right, you've gotta do it yourself."
While this might hold some merit for some people, it encouraged me to stop asking for help. It also made me think that I was the best and knew the most about many problems that needed fixing. Turned out, I was perhaps the least qualified person to deal with them.
"Have you tried just not being a (gay person*)?"
*don't wanna say what they actually said..
The Interest Mathematics Alone Would Be A NightmareGiphy
friend told me to pull out student loans to buy cryptocurrency. I didn't listen of course.
He did it himself though and got burned on epic proportions
A two year degree in computers? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Nobody uses them because nobody can afford them. Focus on four years of English Lit! -advice from an unnamed source in 1990.
However, my internet sh-t posts are top notch.