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People Who've Had Run-Ins With Serial Killers Reveal What Happened

Run, run as fast as you can.

We spend each day walking blissfully passed complete strangers knowing nothing about their lives. Who are they? Where did they come from? Do they have children? Where did they hide the bodies? Studies have shown that the average person walks past 16 serial killers in their lifetime. That's 16 brushes with death and surviving, congratulations! Ignorance really is bliss sometimes.


Reddit user, u/Surfincloud9, asks:

People who have came into contact with serial killers or were extremely close to being kidnapped, what happened and when did you come to that realization?


The Doll Murderer

A man came to my grandma's house and said he was having car trouble, asked to borrow a wrench. He followed my grandma into her garage and picked up a hammer and whacked her in the back of the head with it. He thought she had died, her skull cracked open. He just left her there, she lived in the middle of the woods. But she didn't die.

He was caught before he murdered anyone else, and investigators found all kinds of evidence of him stalking her before coming to kill her. In the months before this she noticed strange things out of place, the sink left dripping, doors open, unfamiliar smells, ect. But then- when she washed the outfits that were on her doll collection, she noticed tears and holes in them- and slits ripped into the doll bodies. She immediately changed the locks. He stabbed her dolls.

Then she came home to a break a while later. They only stole only one thing, an old boy scout pin that her father frequently wore. She looked at it from time to time, it had huge sentimental- (but no monetary) value. Turns out it was him the whole time. No one knows exactly how long he had stalked her. He had stalked and killed 2 others in the next town over before coming to my grandma.

It's terrifying to think that it could be happening to anyone at anytime.

11never

A Killer Relationship

Dated one and didn't know it. Didn't actually realize it until he and his buddy kidnapped me and held me prisoner for a week and a half. Turned out they were pretty big-time drug dealers who were also human traffickers who liked torture women to death just for kicks.

WreakingHavoc640

Holy sh*t... And may I ask how did you manage to get out off all that mess?

iamindipshit

They decided that instead of just burying me in a shallow grave it would be much more satisfying for them to take me to a hospital so I could live a little bit longer before dying. That way I could experience a little more agony than I already had, which was a thought that pleased them immensely. So they just unceremoniously dumped me at an ER and took off. Managed to live though, they sure as shit weren't expecting that. Cocky aholes. Guess I was tougher than they thought.

TEdit: all the credit to the doctors and nurses, I literally didn't do a thing to help myself survive in the hospital. Really I just laid there in the ICU and they did all the hard work. Forever grateful.

WreakingHavoc640

That Windowless Van Is A Huge Clue

I was the first to notice the big white carpet company van that parked behind our house every day around dinner. I must have been 7, and my younger sister was 4. We would play in our fenced-in yard that shared one side with the alleyway, giving anyone walking by a full view of our lawn and the back of our house as well as the backyard of the house next door.

Looking back, I was a total goody-goody and deliberately found any way to suck up to my parents. Our school had just given the typical 90's "stranger danger" presentation, and had specifically described scenarios where men in big white vans with no windows offered you candy to get in, then drove away with you. I was more proud than scared when I dragged them both outside to show that van out to my parents - like it had been some real-world test. Clearly, I had aced it!

I can't really recall their response, but I know they didn't feel the need to escalate it. Maybe they hadn't noticed the van until the day I pointed it out, but they weren't bothered enough by it to investigate further.

After we went outside to look at the van, it never appeared in our alley again. A few days passed, however, and by eaves-dropping in adult conversations as goody-goody suck ups do, I caught on that something terrible had happened next door. The boy that lived there was 11-ish (and wanted nothing to do with me or my sister, so obviously we weren't close) had been taken from their front yard, and neighbors reported seeing a large, white, windowless van drive away. My parents were able to give a great description of the van they had seen in the alley previously, including the carpet store logo - in case that happened to be the vehicle the other neighbors saw.

The police must have easily spotted the van, as I remember the older boy returning home within the next day or so. Being so young and sheltered at the time, I can't speak to any grizzly details as to how the boy was treated or what happened while was gone. All I can say is that the whole family packed up and moved out shortly thereafter.

drunksisters

A Professor With Pension For Murder

Got beat up when I was 10 by a man who was a law professor at a fairly prestigious University. He kicked the living s*** out of me pretty hard. Threatened to kill me if i said anything. I didn't. I lied to my parents about what happened.

A little while later he shot his family with a 12 gauge.

mymindislikeaseive

She Did Nazi That One Coming

Not a serial killer but a mass murderer.

His mom was my mom's best friend. After the murders happened, his mom kind of fell off the face of the planet. She was already raising her other son's kids because he was in prison for drug related things, and then him not only going to prison but for murdering 4 small kids and his girlfriend, just completely broke her. I think it would any mother.

He sat in my house and gave me 2 tattoos when I was 19 and gave my mom 2 at that time as well.

His mom kept saying he should ask me out and he agreed and was acting flirty. But not only did I find him wildly unattractive, he was covered in swastikas. He had been to prison, also for drugs, and said he didn't agree with the ideology but got them to fit in at prison. I could see one of the swastikas was actually in the process of being covered with something else and his mom was basically an aunt to me and me and my mom trusted her. She said he had turned his life around since prison and was a really talented tattoo artist and could give us a discount to add to his portfolio.

At the time, nothing really indicated he was capable of murdering children. The swastikas sent a pretty bad message but I didn't think TOO much of it after he said it was just a survival tactic or whatever, I have heard of that. He was just kind of a trashy, talkative guy. But after those details came out.. idk.

_princesspeach3s

The Backpack Killer

My grandparents owned a small cafe in the town of Bowral, NSW Australia. Ivan Milat was a regular customer there, they didn't know him on a personal level, just a causal "G'day, Ivan!". They knew his parents as well. Crazy stuff knowing that my grandparents would always be in 1m contact with one of Australia's most notorious serial killers every couple days.

lutenentbubble

OMG i did not expect to read this on reddit! I used to work at a Cafe in Bowral.... My mum also worked with his brother or sister in law (I can't recall which one) and they apparently had NO IDEA what he was really like!

My parents also had friends living in the Blangelo State Forest so my sister and I would camp outside their house with their kids when we were younger (10ish) which freaks me out now to think about!

MellyO2017

Was that the guy who murdered all those backpackers?

standard_whiteguy

Yes he is believed to have murdered 7 young victims.

FrenchFriday

Always Ask Specific Questions

I lived in a house and knew all my surrounding neighbors. Landlord next door, his sister on the other side, and the 5 houses across the street belonged to families whos kid(s) went to my school or were acquainted with my parents. I was in 4th or 5th grade at the time.

I was walking home from school one day and it was pretty hot. This lady pulls up in a white car and offers me a ride home. I tell her "no thanks" and continue walking. She follows me for a minute or two before pulling up again and saying that "It's ok, I don't mind." and that she recognized me as her neighbor across the street. I immediately knew it was bullshit, because I know all my neighbors. I ask, "Ok. What street do we live on then?" and she said that she doesn't remember because she just moved in recently. I tell her no again, but this time I start to walk in the opposite direction so she can't follow me. She turns the corner and I immediately run to a friends house that was closer to where I was.

I told my parents of course. A couple days later a friend of mine told me a mexican lady in a white car tried to offer him a ride after school while he was walking home, saying she was his neighbor. He was literally two houses down from where he lived so he told her to f off and ran home. He wasn't making it up because only my mom knew about the incident at that time. My parents and his parents alerted the school.

Please teach your kids not to accept anything from strangers. I was feeling sick that day and if I didn't know exactly who my neighbors were, I don't know how that situation would of played out. My friend was just an a-hole, smart, or a combination of both so we both turned out lucky in the end.

trice_7

Be Careful Wherever You Might Be-Headed

A serial killer in Florida... our neighbor was found decapitated and after she was found (responsible for 5 murders of women) we we're let known he kept a book, inside was all info on my family, what time we usually got home, what we wore almost everyday, what vehicles we drove, descriptions, approx ages and more.

southerngoaway

Fed To The Pigs Who Were Fed To People

Not me but my mother.

My parents were both heroin addicts in Vancouver during the 80's – early 90's. At one point during this time my dad spent about a year in jail, and right after he went away my mother found out she was pregnant. She got clean shortly after finding out she was pregnant and kept off the heroin for the rest of her pregnancy but she was still struggling to get by on her own.

Previously, when my dad wasn't bringing in enough cash dealing drugs or was in jail (frequent flyer) my mom would end up turning tricks in addition to whatever work she could scrounge up while living out of shelters and getting high. As she was pregnant she was reluctant to put herself at risk of being attacked and was picking up cleaning shifts at a couple of shitty local motels. She would make a bit of extra money by letting a few friends bring clients to the rooms before she cleaned them.

Every once in a while, her friends would send a client her way if she was really strapped for cash. Usually these were regulars that my mom was already familiar with and felt safe around and she wouldn't turn down the money. One night when she was around six months pregnant, her friend mentioned that a guy had been asking around for a working girl that sounded an awful lot like her but he didn't know her name. He described the tattoo on her leg, her hair colour, and the mole on her cheek perfectly so it was pretty clear to the friend who he meant. Friend asked if she should tell him where to find her/how to get in touch since it seemed like he might be one of her old clients, but my mom says she got an awful feeling in the pit of her stomach so she made an excuse about not feeling well and told her not to. Before they parted ways that evening they made plans for her friend to accompany her to a prenatal appointment at hospital a couple days later.

On the morning of the appointment, my mom's friend didn't show up. My mom called her apartment and when there was no answer, she went over and let herself in with the spare key. Nobody was home. Assuming her friend had simply forgotten, she went to her appointment alone and went home afterwards slightly annoyed at her for flaking. She tried calling a couple times more that night before asking around about her. No one had seen her for the last two nights, which was rare as they were the busiest nights of the week in the business.

Turns out the last time anyone saw her, she was getting in a car with the same guy that had been asking about my mother. No one ever saw her again. Her body was never found, which makes more sense when you find out that the man who picked her up was later identified by witnesses as Robert Pickton, a local pig farmer and serial killer who would grind up the bodies of his victims and feed them to his pigs (pork from those pigs was distributed across the province for human consumption).

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_

Picktoncatatonicasshole

Flirting With The Devil

Not me, but my ninth grade english teacher once told us about the time she was stalked by Ted Bundy. She was in college at the time and worked nights at a bar. He approached her one night flirting, asking her out, etc. but she wasn't interested. He was very persistent, and after a while she got angry and told him to get lost.

Later, walking home that night, she noticed a car following her pretty closely. She didn't look back because she knew that showing any sign of fear gave him control of the situation, so she walked straight into her dorm and warned all her friends. He waited outside for several hours, but eventually gave up.

After telling us the story, she reminded us that if anything like that ever happens to you, don't go home. Either call the police or go straight to the police station. She got lucky that he didn't come back for her, and several months later she read about him on the news and recognized his picture and the description of his car.

babykrogan

Waiting In The Bushes

\Came close to being kidnapped. I know it. The police in my town know it.

I have gone on walks at all times of day and night since I was about 15 or 16. My town is small and safe, but I learned after this particular incident that even the smallest, sleepiest of towns aren't completely safe. It still gives me anxiety thinking about this night, specifically what may have happened, too much.

It was only about 6 o' clock, but since it was December, it was already dark. I had just gotten an MP3 player for Christmas, and I loved listening to music and just walking around near my neighborhood. I was just coming down the road to my house when I noticed a car coming around the curve.

I normally would look back at any car coming, even if I was on the sidewalk. I don't know why I didn't this time. But it was going very slowly, and I've been asked by completely well-meaning people who live around here if I needed a ride, so I was assuming they were gearing up to roll down the window and ask if I needed a ride.

They never asked. I kept walking, got to the spot where the sidewalk ends because my road has a large chunk where there just isn't one, so you're forced to walk at the side of the road or the grass. We're just barely at the edge of town.

The automobile - it was either a dark blue or black jeep - pulled over to the side of the road. Two men got out and began following me down the road.

If you've never experienced anything like this, I have no idea how universal this is, but all I can describe is a surge of adrenaline and some sort of primal instinct. One that just KNOWS things. I knew, somehow, that if I were to take off running, they would chase me. I don't know how or why, but I knew, and I still know that's how it would have went down. I was analyzing so much so quickly - the running and chasing wouldn't work in my favor because the stretch of road back home was probably a good 50-100 feet. I thought about diving into the fenceline/field that is adjacent to my yard, but I realized that would hinder me more than help me. They'd catch me, probably before I made it that far.

I realized my only hope was to keep calm and keep an eye on them. I kept turning back to glance at them, and they just kept maintaining eye contact every time I turned to look. I kept walking. Kept calm. But terrified. My house was right there. I would have been snatched up basically right outside it.

I prayed for a car to come by. It almost felt like fate or divine intervention when, no sooner did I silently have the thought/prayer for a car, one came around the curve at the veeeeeery far end of the road from the direction I was walking.

The guys dove into the bushes at the edge of the neighbor's driveway. They were SO obvious that they were up to no good. I remember having the thought that my situation was super similar to the scene in Twilight where Bella prays for a car to come or whatever and a car does, and she's grateful. I know, weird thing to think when you're in that situation, but that's just how it goes.

So, the car passes, it leaves the area, and I'm wondering how the hell I'm going to manage, because I'm still a ways from my yard.

My uncle was just leaving my house on his bike at that exact moment. He rides up, and I flag him down. He starts to say bye, and I'm just like, "there are two guys in the bushes right now following me!" He looks, and they're poking their heads out. He calmly tells me to hurry up and get home. I don't need to be told, honestly. He sits there and keeps an eye on me until I'm in the yard and safe.

I go in and tell my mom, and she sees right as they pull out and drive through the cemetery nearby (which is closed and off-limts past dusk). They then take off.

My uncle calls as soon as he gets home and asks me if I noticed that there was a third guy coming up from behind on the sidewalk. I said no, I'd only seen the two guys. There had apparently been a third coming up, but I couldn't see him because it was so dark, since there used to be a large gap between street lights right in that stretch of road.

My mom called the cops, and they came out. They told me I did an excellent job getting descriptions of the automobile and the people I did see, since normally people panic and can't recall details. I was just frustrated I never saw a license plate, but the jeep was behind me and I didn't get a chance to look long enough for that.

They agreed that the guys were definitely after me, but nothing ever came of it. They kept an eye out in the area and kept an eye out for a dark colored jeep, but I never saw it again.

I'm sitting here trembling now, haha. Can't tell if it's because the AC is on and I'm cold, or because recalling this story is always kind of nerve-wracking, because my mind wanders to a lot of what-ifs, but uh... it definitely felt like I had some guardian angel or some shit that kept throwing obstacles in the way for these creepy men. I was actually so afraid to walk down that stretch of road at night for a LONG time afterward, and sometimes I still can't do it.

EDIT: To answer the question properly, I knew something was wrong as soon as they pulled over and got out of their automobile.

therealrinnian

Holy Smokes, That Was Close

Raoul Moat gave me a cigarette aged 10, the winter before he killed.

I was 10 years old (duh) and walking past a pub with a few older mates. he approached us and asked if we wanted a cigarette. we said sure and he gave us one each. he said he could get us beer if we came with him but we said no partly bc have you seen the him? Hes a beefy guy and we knew better and secondly my mum does the best cottage pie and it was cottage pie night so i wasnt about to be kidnapped on the best night of the week.

level 1AbdicxteB

Lol for some reason the cottage pie is hilarious

ParanoidCrow

Honestly the one thing I miss about living at home. That cottage pie. I still go back once a month to get some haha

AbdicxteB

Who Cadaver Thought?

Got a ride in a semi truck from a serial killer.. The smell was horrible. Like something I never smelled before.. Jumped out when I got close to where I lived. The guys face was crooked, and that smell. Come to find out Henry Lee Lucas enjoyed cadavers.. Saw the guy on Tv about a month later, then it all made sense...

potassiumcompound

Dylan Roof

Dylan Roof kid that shot up the Black church.

My family is Black. My mom grew up as his mom's best friend and my mom was one of the only Black kids at her school (I think the first.) Fast forward and he becomes my cousin's (mixed) friend growing up and they're cool and all. Eventually, he moves away after his mom marries some weirdo racist guy. 2 years later, he becomes a super racist and shoots up a church.

I've briefly rubbed shoulders with him when I was younger and visiting my cousin and my little brother has hung out with him before. Pretty weird.

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

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Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?