People can be like those Kinder Eggs they used to ban in the United States (for some unknown reason). On the outside, you're getting something you think you know. A person might be small, appear timid, or made out of chocolate. It's the inside, however, you need to be wary of. Sometimes a person might be more talented or dangerous than you realize, and the other times they'll probably just embarrass someone who deserves it with those hidden talents.
These are those stories!
Quora posed to its users:
What is the best case of "You just picked a fight with the wrong person" that you've witnessed
Samoan Superman
I was a very young man eating pizza in a small restaurant in the Marina District in San Francisco. It was 1987 the summer time, late at night, and most in the crowd were pretty drunk. Two yuppies with their navy blue shirts and red power ties walk into the restaurant and cut in front of a Samoan and his girlfriend. When the Samoan said something, instead of just saying "I'm sorry," one of them made a smart remark.
Then I stopped eating my pizza. I knew something bad was going to happen. I have always had good experiences with Samoans. They always treated me with more respect than most people do. But I never met a Samoan who would back down or suffer BS. I had a Samoan friend of mine literally pick me up and throw me into a bar fight, because I told him took martial arts classes, and he wanted to see if they were working.
The yuppie smart mouthed the Samoan patron some more and threatened to call the police if he did anything. Faster than I could stuff another pizza slice into my mouth the Samoan gentleman did something I did not think was physically possible. He picked the yuppie vertically off his feet then turned him horizontally superman style. He held the yuppie's face over a pizza pie then literally dropped him straight down face first into the pizza.
The amount of strength it took to literally turn the Yuppie's body side ways seemed amazing. The Samoan turned to me staring at him and said "You one of them?" Shook my head no and went back to eating my pizza. He left with his lady friend.
The police shortly arrived. No one saw anything. The yuppie's smart suit and tie and big paycheck did not shield him from his big mouth. Be careful what you say, smile and always be respectful.
Never Cross A Man That Can Double Check All The Forms
Once upon a time, my parents hired a company to redo their kitchen. They were basically supposed to change the marble countertops.
The company was formed by husband, wife and three employees.
They set up the countertops and soon realized a minor part of the marble did not fit exactly. They had to take the small bit that didn't fit back to their headquarters to redo the work.
At that point, my parents had already paid 90% of the price.
One week later they came back without prior notice and gained access to their apartment through the maid, who opened the door to let them finish the job.
My parents were out on an errand.
After the contractors finished their job, the owner called my father on his mobile and told him the job was completed.
Since there had been problems with the execution before, my father told the man that he would come back home in about an hour, check the quality of the final touches and promptly pay the remaining 10% of the price.
The man went ape and told my father that payment was due on the spot.
My parents interrupted what they were doing and hurried back home.
But at this point the contractor was already mad at them and took out every single bit of marble he had put in place and put it all in his van. Never mind the fact that, as I said, 90% was already paid for.
Upon arriving home, my father noticed that all the stuff he paid for was in the van and being taken away.
He is a man of action, and promptly put himself in front of the van to impede its exit.
The contractor did not back down and just ran over my father, who was 65 at the time.
His bruises were not grave, but he filed criminal suit against the man.
The problem is that he hired a company, so he didn't know the contractor's name. And to file suit against someone, you must indicate his name, of course.
The police weren't very eager to determine the identity of the perpetrator. And that's when my parents called me.
I dived into the matter and found out not only his name and address, but several lawsuits against this guy and his wife. They took several loans and had not repaid them, they sold real estate and did not deliver, they crossed many people in business deals. In short, they owed a lot of people and banks in consequence of morally doubtful behaviour.
And they had empty apartments in Copacabana, a very prized area of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
I gave the Police the name of the guy and, on the side, purchased some of the credits against them owned by financial institutions.
I represented my parents in the criminal lawsuit against these people and got them sentenced to jail (the husband) and reparation (the wife).
But I also pursued the exaction of the debts I bought and, six years later, I got one of their apartments as repayment of one of the debts.
Now I am still waiting for judicial decision on the second apartment. It seems I will also take this one.
The best part is that I paid only 25 thousand reais to buy the credit and the apartments are worth, together, a little under 1 million reais.
This guy should not have run over my dear father… I bet this is one decision he regrets every day.
You Never Know Who Might've Won A Boxing Competition Before
Actually didn't witness the fight, but the results were quite interesting.
Was just thinking about this call yesterday, while driving by a skateboard park. It was near the end of my career, but a rather unique call. Not really sure why we even responded as it was a pretty simple medical call. Perhaps the ambulances were all delayed? We got called to a skate board park for an injury, expecting a broken bone or scrapes and bruises we found instead a big kid over 6 feet with a broken nose. The RCMP officer on scene was having a good chuckle when he introduced the patient, saying this guy likes to start fights with girls.
There were about half a dozen other people hanging around both friends of the guy and this young girl on scene. As my guys were treating the patient I was getting some information on what happened. The girl was visiting from California with some friends here in British Columbia and they went down to the local skate board park for some fun and exercise. The girl was around 5 ft. 5 in. as best I recall and not very big, but a rather attractive young lady in her late teens.
Seems that this guy is a bit of a bully and takes a liking to this cute gal visiting her local friends. The girl is however not impressed by his rather crude advances. They have a bit of a discussion and the guy winds up grabbing her and saying something along the lines of, "Why don't you suck my c@#k b-tch?" as he goes to lay his hands on her. The next thing he knows he is on the ground with a broken nose.
So in the conversation with the girl and her friends it comes out that she is here to participate in a boxing competition tomorrow. Well it seems she certainly has the skills for it, I wished her luck.
Never Cross The Nana...
...What you have to understand about my "Nana" is she strived to weigh more than a 100 pounds all her life, only weighed 102 pounds when she was pregnant with my mom, but she was relatively tall for a lady, so she looked like a rail! People mistook her size, later her age, as weakness, what they didn't realize is- she had grown up on a 98 acre working farm, had worked alongside share-croppers on the next farm over (she swore her Daddy worked the family harder), had 9 brothers and sisters, and could out eat me any day of the week, she was not a wilting flower!
When I was in school my "Nana" was always the first car in the pick-up line, she never wanted to be late to anything! I was in junior high, probably the middle of 8th grade, I always had my book bag ready and rushed out the door when the bell rang, because I knew she was waiting. One afternoon, I got to her car and realized that I had left a book in the school, so I turned around and ran back in. When I came out the side door of the school, I was met by the assistant principal.
He was a big, burly, gruff man and he grabbed my arm (fatal error), so he could fuss at me. I immediately thought, "oh, crap, you've screwed up!" About the time I finished my thought, I heard her car door slam, I tried to hurry him up, because I knew this was about to get ugly! Then, I see a little bony finger with pink fingernail polish come over his shoulder, tap, tap, tap, and these weren't the kind of taps you use at church, I'm pretty sure she was going for blood!
He spun around there stood my "Nana" standing with her arms folded, foot tapping, and a look that would give Satan chills. In a fury and missing the obvious clues that were in front of him, he started telling her about my "misdeed" of going back in the building and complaining about her being the first person there and how I should hurry up since she was blocking the pick up lane. At this point, she put her finger up in his face and said, "shut up, little man!" He straightened up like he was going to correct her, he didn't realize that she was just giving him time to pray, "YOU put your hands on my grandbaby, her momma, her daddy, her poppy, and me don't put our hands on her and YOU SURE AS HELL AIN'T… AND another thing, I'll park where ever and for however long I want to in this school parking lot and she can go in and out of this building as many times as she wants to, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?????"
This very large man was now trembling and repeating "yes, ma'am, I do," in a near catatonic state. She looked at me and nodded towards the car, needless to say I ran and got in because this was not the first, nor the last time I'd seen "Nana" in action. She got in the car, still mumbling under her breath, "just who the hell does he think he is???"
My "Nana" was active right up until the end of her 90 years on this earth...
"Have yee got a problem with me food, pal?"
I was serving in the Reserves (Territorial Army as it was back then), and was getting some breakfast in the mess at Grantham. Some Americans were on the base, and a trio of them were eating, poking around at some black pudding (blood pudding). They weren't quite sure what it was, so I explained.
They blew their top. "It's pig what? That's terrible!" they exclaimed, and one of them stormed off to the counter. "I wanna speak to the chef" he spouted. The server replied, "are you sure?". Clearly, he didn't relish the thought of disturbing the chef. "Of course I'm goddamed sure, the chef is trying to poison us with his barbarian food" the American spat. The server disappeared into the kitchen, and the American sat down.
Shortly afterwards, the Chef came storming out of the kitchen.
He was 6 foot 5, built like a brick sh*thouse, and bore a Scots Guards tattoo on his forearm. He spied the Yanks.
Striding over to the table, he growled in the thickest and most menacing Glaswegian accent, "have yee got a problem with me food, pal?" The American all decided to look at their boots.
He put his face inches from the nearest soldier. "I said, have YEE got a problem with me FOOD, pal?". The table all shook their heads and muttered about the weather. The chef turned about, and headed back to the kitchen. The 3 Americans all lost their appetites and left the mess.
Breakfast with a slice of humble pie.
...Batman?
My friend whom everyone calls Doc, has 2 Ph.D's and is a very low key person, entered a convenient store wth me one afternoon. Doc is 57 years old and average build. He later told me he saw these 2 early 20's jitterbugs casing him in the store. As we left, we each went to our own vehicle. He said he saw them following him to his truck. As he went to get in, one pulled a gun from his pocket and said I'll take your money. Doc's back was to the guy at this time.
He immediately spun around, side kicked the guy and sent him over the curb whereupon he hit his head and was out. We later found out the guy got 3 broken ribs as well.
I saw what happened and asked him, where did you learn that ? He said I'll tell you later. Having to know I followed him home whereupon he showed me he held 4 black belts in 4 different styles of martial arts. That wasn't the best of it as he was always careful for no one to see him shirtless. I always wondered why until this moment.
He pulled back his shirt, he was a Yakuza. These guys definitely picked the wrong guy on this day. The other guy, well he ran off. Funny thing was I heard several people harass the kid that he let an older man kick his a--. Doc told the observers not to call the cops. He said I'm sure the kid is embarrassed enough.
Never Bother A Kid Reading
I've been teaching anger management classes for a decade. Many people in the classes are there because they've done something legally notable but have never offended before and show little to no likelihood of offending again. From these classes I have so many stories to share, but one in particular stands out.
A 16-year-old tall slender boy showed up one day for class. He was polite, quiet, committed to paying attention and did a great job earning his certificate. He didn't really want to share his story during introductions. He generally shared that he got in a fight at school.
Later in the day after a lot of vulnerability was demonstrated by many of the participants, the boy raised his hand and asked if he could talk. Of course, I gave him the floor.
He explained he had been bullied at school for as long as he could remember. He was beaten up often by the same groups and this lasted for years throughout elementary school and high school.
I'm assuming he had changed a lot as he grew because the boy in my class seemed gentle but not necessarily an "easy target." Kids can be cruel, of course, but it's often the case that bullies choose targets that wouldn't stand a chance at defending themselves. In my mind, this boy was once an easy target, but no more! Even though he grew up, sprouted tall, somehow he kept the target image even though he was developing into a strapping young man.
One day in the cafeteria he was reading a book and a neighbouring table of boys started picking on him. He ignored them until it was no longer possible. Then he got up to walk away. They pursued him and were throwing pennies and trash at him. They called him worthless, and garbage, and other demeaning things.
At one point one of the bullies said something that the boy couldn't ignore. At this point the boy stopped walking away and turned to face the group of bullies. He walked towards them and asked who had said the one specific comment. Proudly and immediately one of the bullies claimed responsibility. Without another word, the boy punched the bully in the face. It was one shot but it shattered the bully's jaw and knocked him out. The boy was suspended and mandated to take anger management classes.
To my knowledge he had never been violent before or since. In that moment, however, it was as if he was standing up against all the years of abuse and all the bullies.
It wasn't a "fight" per se, but I would definitely say that the bully "picked on" the wrong person at the wrong time. This one bully certainly wasn't every bully in the boy's past, but he most certainly received the boy's wrath as if he was.
I can't say what the boy did was right. But I understand what drove him to react the way he did. Insofar as he was defending himself, I'm glad he was done being a victim. Often the trouble with being passive in the face of threats is that you'll explode at some point. And he did...
Never Think You're Too Big For Your Britches
...I worked at GT for awhile. We had this Chinese fellow there who was a graduate assistant. This guy was the most stereotypical "Chinese graduate student" you've ever seen. Google "Chinese graduate student" and I'm pretty sure his picture would come up. I'll call him Li
Except
This guy could fight.
Really, really fight.
The school had their athletic complex, and there was a guy that taught kung fu.
I'm pretty sure you have seen the type. Arrogant, has to be the center of attention, couldn't stand anyone calling him on anything.
Well I see Li walk past and he's going to attend the class. Since the weight machines I want to use are over there, I follow. I'm on the leg press and the guy starts his class.
Five minutes in an Li points out something that the instructor says is wrong.
Instructor asks:
"How would you do it?"
Li gets up and demonstrates. The guy doesn't like getting showed up.
"Well in a fight that would never work."
Li points out again, he's wrong.
The instructor gets mad and tells Li to put up or shut up.
At this point, I want to reflect that maybe, just maybe, when the Chinese student who muddles his way through English who's already shown you up once already says something, challenging him is a bad idea, but I digress……
Li gets up and takes off his sweatshirt. I've always seen him in long sleeved dress shirts. This guy is cut. He's solid muscle.
They start sparring. It's at this point I realize that Li has this guy licked. Not just licked, but Li isn't even trying. The "instructor" is throwing everything he has at him. Nothing is connecting.
Finally the instructor says "come on and hit me if you can" because at this point, Li's just been dodging and blocking.
There's a slap as Li catches the guy's right ear.
Now the instructor is mad. He goes at him again.
nother two slaps, and the instructor is holding both his ears.
Li isn't even sweating.
Holy crap.
Li "plays" with him for about another minute. Somehow the "instructor" gets close enough to try to lift him off the ground.
This is a mistake.
He drives an elbow down hard into this guy's back. There's a yell. Li explodes on this guy. The whole time I'm thinking about Jet Li or Anyone I've seen in Chinese action movies.
Guy is knocked off the mats. He's hurt. Li isn't even sweating. After that. He just turns, grabs his top and walked off.
He stuck around school for another year, got his PhD and went back to China. I really wish I could find him today.
People Share Their Favorite Purchases Under $50 That Completely Changed Their Life
Fam. Weighted blankets.
If you (or your kids - I see you, exhausted parents) struggle to stay asleep at night, weighted blankets might be a game changer for you. We got one for our 1-year-old after a week of her waking up at 4AM for baby jam sessions.
Best $31.99 we have ever spent. Ever.
Lappy
<p>A foldable laptop stand for 15€. Always thought you didn't need this stuff, how different from without one can it be - but it does wonders for my neck. Travels everywhere with me now.</p><p>It was an Amazon Prime sale back in November, but I'd say the 20€ it's priced at now is definitely still worth it. </p><p>I like it because the dark gray metallic color matches my laptop and the aluminium material feels way sturdier than a plastic stand would. I chose a very slim model that's basically just a framework for the laptop, no table or anything, because I mainly need this to take up the least possible space in my backpack as I travel with it every day.</p><p>It's perfect. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmvkl7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">quinalou1</a></p>Rubber Bristles
<p>A rubber bristled broom. I have two dogs and two cats, and my house is all hardwood and tile. A regular broom just sends the fur floating everywhere, but my rubber broom keeps it all nice and tidy and easy to pick up. It works on my area rug and upholstered furniture, too!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnmnnv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Boose81</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnmnnv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I've never even considered that something like this exists.</p><p>No more cat hair tumbleweeds rolling around the apartment!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjocm3n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ItWasTheButterfly</a></p><p>I recently got one and it is <em>amazing</em>. The other end is a squeegee but I haven't tried that yet.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnw9ya?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">_perl_</a></p>Let There Be Light
<p>A wake up light alarm clock. The light turns on gradually and wakes you up gradually rather than waking up to obnoxious beeping. Makes the start of my day more positive.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjngycx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ThimbleAndAcorn</a></p><p>Yes I LOVE mine! Especially in the winter when I have to wake up hours before sunrise</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjohj4l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">dingoeslovebabies</a></p><p>We just discovered this functionality is built into our Android phones. I don't know if it's just the Motorola brand, but it looks like it's part of the basic Android operating system now. it turns the screen a deep red that slowly brightens into a bright Cheery sunshine yellow. It is definitely a more pleasant way to wake up!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjo5b9c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">photogent1</a></p>The Drain Thingies
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUwMTQxNi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NzI2MzExMX0.n5_i5Us4EM3Gx15GxW40AEUgnfafkQwyeQh2stuwgO0/img.gif?width=980" id="a0779" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="364903589eeb8869999998db0bfad481" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="285" data-height="360" />shower shaving GIFGiphy<p>In my uni house of 4 long-haired girls, we had a sieve-type drain thingie that went over the plughole. It still let water through but caught all the hair to stop it from clogging the drain. </p><p>Yeah, that definitely cost a lot less than a plumber or us losing our deposit</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnc5di?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">tatt3rsall</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnc5di?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I lived in a house with 5 people, me and another short hair guy lived downstairs with our own bathroom, and upstairs was 2 long haired people and 1 medium-length. They never bothered to use a hair catch, and at some point every started showering downstairs.</p>Heat
<p>A heated blanket, don't know how I ever survived winters before this.</p><p>My bedroom is in the attic and it gets cold. Due to how stuff is wired the heating in my room only goes on when it's cold downstairs, but since it doesn't get that cold downstairs my heating never starts up.</p><p>This has saved me so much cold nights curled up in a ball at night trying to warm up, it's amazing</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmzxk8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PokingCactus</a></p><p>Same! Saves putting the heating on for the whole house when all you want is for your bed not to be ice-cold in the evening!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjn580o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Luke10123</a></p>Shh!Â
<p>Earplugs. They saved my final exams in highschool when my sister and her 1.5 and 3yo kids tornadoed through the whole house.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmzl8c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Bartolo20</a></p><p>I play some music super low on my earbuds and then wear my shooting ear protection over them. I can't hear sh*t and instantly focused. Saved me every time I took an exam last semester at my noisy parent's house.</p><p>- <a href="I play some music super low on my earbuds and then wear my shooting ear protection over them. I can't hear shit and instantly focused. Saved me every time I took an exam last semester at my noisy parent's house." target="_blank">GhostOfErik</a></p>The Perfect Pencil
<p>This one mechanical pencil that I bought in high school or earlier. I'll graduate college soon which means I've been writing with the same pencil for somewhat 10 years. </p><p>It fits perfectly between my fingers. I've kept a traditional diary since I was a kid and it has become more and more important since hardly anything requires paper and a pencil today. So many memories from the happiest moments to the absolute worst have been written down using this pencil. </p><p>I have a few other pencils as well but they don't feel right and eventually I'll put them away and return to my old friend.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmw607?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">petuwk</a></p>Get In The Garden
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUwMTQyMS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMzg3NzA2Mn0.BhvpD5Nni-3nj0BH3uU9QYgyHKXP-VpWnX_wEwoUaAE/img.gif?width=980" id="35171" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="51719fe8cc6296eadaea3c8c488fdf09" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="320" data-height="180" />fox tv dancing GIF by Bob's BurgersGiphy<p>About 20 years ago I bought a 3 VHS tape set that showed me this guy, Sepp Holzer, doing pond and gardens and raising animals in a way far better than I imagined. It has been the core of my life ever since.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmvgz7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">paulwheaton</a></p><p>Thank you for posting this. My ten year old daughter is obsessed with gardening and sustainability. </p><p>We recently bought some land in the Blue Ridge mountains and she has been very diligent in planning out what she wants to plant where, she has started her compost pile when we raked the leaves in the fall and was just asking me if she can build a greenhouse before next fall. </p><p>I just showed her your videos and her eyes lit up the way a kids eyes light up when they've found their new obsession.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjob7xy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">drman3211</a></p>Shower Chair
<p>Shower chair. </p><p>I've got a f*cked up back and I initially got it for that but even if my back was fine I'd still have one, they're so useful. If you shave your legs, you won't regret it.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjndu5d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">madfishmonger1</a></p><p>I'm heavily pregnant at the moment and have been seriously considering getting a shower chair lol. Now I think I may just go ahead and do it</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnqef2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wifejugs69</a></p>Butter
<p>A butter dish/butter tray. </p><p>Room temp butter always available. No more trying to spread hard butter out of the fridge. Unrefrigerated and covered butter is good for like 2 weeks. </p><p>It never lasts that long. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnm0hu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">drawingxfiles</a></p><p>What?! I did not even know you could leave butter outside. </p><p>I always thought it was in the same realm as milk, where you store it chilled and only take it out when you need to use it. That's just how it is, living in the tropics I guess? This could be a game changer. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjo5hqx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">KabuAtama</a></p>As kids, we spent about 8 hours every day in school for 10 months of each year. Not surprisingly, a few useless lessons made their way into the curriculum.
Well, maybe more than a few.
Backfired
<p>"0-tolerance policy is the dumbest thing ever taught and implemented."</p><p>"All it teaches is to fear authority when you're the victim. It enables the perpetrator (who is normally a bully)."</p><p>"I know administrators are lazy, but they need to actually investigate the goddamn problem instead of saying, 'hey you both were involved in the issue so you're both going to get punished.'"</p><p>"It basically just raises you to hate authority, and while I don't like authorities either I don't think they're all distrustful. Although, I guess this could be interpreted as commentary on how garbage authority is."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gji1860?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">HotSiracha1134</a></p>It Worked, Didn't It
<p>"That sticking up for yourself is wrong. I punched a kid in the face because he was being physically abusive to me."</p><p>"He grabbed my arms and spun us in circles, intending to let go once I would be sort of thrown through the air. I got an arm loose and punched him in the face before that happened."</p><p>"Instead of him being expelled I, a female half his size, was forced to apologize for defending myself. I'm still mad."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjiinlw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">justice-knifeblade</a></p>The Unicycle Budget
<p>"Our elementary school was heavy into unicycles. Gym class year round was learning to ride, then ride together, and in formation."</p><p>"I was one of the unlucky few who never got it (I can't dance or ride a bike either, so I suspect there's some balance issues)."</p><p>"School all but threatened to hold me back a year until I learned how. Everyone forgot and never picked it up again as soon as they moved to middle school."</p><p>"Worst part is that we were a very poor school in a very rural area without much funding. I can't imagine how much the school spent on those unicycles. There was no sponsorship, and we weren't competing in anything."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgybtf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sezah</a></p>A Bizarre ExerciseÂ
<p>"Not exactly something they teach in general, but in my high school music class, we had to memorize our national anthem in a different language (we used to be a colony and it was originally written in the colonizer's language.)"</p><p>"And then sing it out loud with the same melody and all, except you're parroting a bunch of words that you don't understand. Over a decade later and I still think it was a pointless exercise"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh1snm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BlizzardousBane</a></p>Egg BabyÂ
<p>"how to 'take care of a baby' by"</p><ol><li>bringing in an egg</li><li>having the teacher sign the egg</li><li>decorating, protecting, and carrying the egg at all times for two days</li><li>revealing to the teacher at the end of day 2 that the egg was still in tact, without cracks.</li></ol><p>"all that taught me was how to take care of an egg."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjia5r2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">archikat007</a></p>Sport FactsÂ
<p>"In Phys Ed they had us take actual written tests a few times sitting on the gym floor. Questions like where was basketball invented, what are the rules of pickle, yadda yadda, other useless sh**." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgqyxo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GummyZerg</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's the kind of bullsh** that happens when the only way to prove you're doing something is to provide data."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Teachers are forced to do things which generate data because the traditional outcomes don't provide enough evidence for someone at the state or distinct admin office to know you're doing your job." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh7qnm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Beeb294</a></p>The Definition of Busy WorkÂ
<p>"When I was in primary school we got taught about digital roots, it's where you take a number, add up all the digits and repeat if you have more than 1 digit, so 684 = 6+8+4 = 18 = 1 + 8 = 9."</p><p>"Nobody else has ever heard of this."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh998n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">emu404</a></p>If Only Bullies Valued My OpinionÂ
<p>"That if someone's bullying you you tell them that you don't like it. like no sh**, that's why they do it." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjhzzcd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">dr_pepper_cans</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My grandmother used to tell my dad, my brothers, and me 'If someone hits you, tell them you don't like to get hit!' Most useless piece of advice that has been taught to society." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjido7g?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ZIONSCROLLS</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"The only thing that ever helped me with bullies at that age, was fighting back. I tried everything else. But the teachers punished me more than the bullies for it, they'd always say 'it doesn't matter who started it' - which is f***ing bullsh**. I'm still mad." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjie14y?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">yas_yas</a></p>Keep Those Clavicles Covered
<p>"That if we cover our shoulders and legs boys will stop looking at us" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh828n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">shlee_e</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"As a guy this rule just taught me that bare shoulders are provocative and now I get all flustered seeing a cute girl in something showing her shoulders. This clearly didn't work as intended." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjhy9zj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lunarskies92</a></p>Useful Lessons
<p>"I don't know, but if they don't start teaching people how to spot fake news soon, we're all gonna be living under dictatorships." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgs84h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">thegoatwrote</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"All of us learned to do research papers in school, but how many of us made the jump to doing any kind of basic research in the real world?" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgtiwy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">somebodys_mom</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Broadly speaking, that's called the humanities, and it's been grossly under-appreciated and under-funded for decades at this point" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh93d4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jman939</a></p>Parents Break Down The Creepiest Stories Their Children Have Ever Told Them About Their Imaginary Friend
Kids say some seriously whacky stuff sometimes, it can be disturbing, especially when they tend to discuss people who are not there. When the imagination is heading into "The Sixth Sense" territory, it may be time for a visit to the therapist. Now almost all of us had imaginary friends at one point in life. It is a very normal, common part of childhood. But much like the real friends in corporeal form we make in life, sometimes certain relationships are toxic and not a good influence. And separation is called for.
Redditor u/xX_ENTROPY_Xx wanted to hear about people's children's besties that they haven't laid eyes on by asking..... What's the scariest story you heard a child tell about their "imaginary friend"?
Hit the Road Jack
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ5ODc3Ni9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyOTQ2NzI1MX0.HiRUuA-6ls5ZaDhMgKjVGIBHbbEkYwYbArx7__1WMuM/img.gif?width=980" id="1d873" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="2c6191d7bdb53d10f0538390a2296695" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="270" data-height="480" />Terrifying Trick Or Treat GIF by CameoGiphy<p>My oldest when she was 4. She had an imaginary friend named Jack who lived under our back porch. And he liked to shove sticks down people's throats. I discouraged playtime with Jack. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo9us1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">RyeDoll13</a><span></span></p>Monkey & Cowboy
<p>My son was 2-3 and always had a bunch of imaginary friends. The most frequently mentioned were Monkey boy and the cowboy. When my son was 2 he woke up one night screaming. I ran in his room and he was terrified. He kept pointing at the corner and saying that Monkey boy was bad. I ended up picking my son up and putting him in bed to sleep with me. The next time he was 3 and we were taking a walk with his younger sister in the stroller. </p>Mean Don....
<p>When my daughter was a toddler she randomly started talking about a man named Don. She always described him the same way and didn't seem scared at all, despite bringing him up every day. She didn't go to daycare and we didn't know anyone named Don. Then one day she got completely freaked out, wouldn't walk around the house alone in case she ran into Don, wouldn't sleep in her own room, and would talk about how she hated him because he said "mean words" to her all the time. About a year into "mean Don" we bought a new house. Once we moved she never spoke of him again. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo7igo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sciencenerd86</a><span></span></p>Ganga
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ5ODc4MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyNjI4MjE1MH0.9GDHqR0I7GhnpzV49VS29OY95DYaFjvhy5BJL2b2erw/img.gif?width=980" id="f19cb" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1ab4fb0446e406094d5a66bce4dc2e88" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="395" data-height="350" />creepy toilet GIFGiphy<p>My son had this imaginary friend - Ganga. She lived in the nearby pond, had duck feet, hair all over her face, ate through a slit in her neck and we were expecting her any minute for dinner.</p><p>He was totally chill with this horrific monster idea, yet he had recurring nightmares about a puppy coming into his room. Kids are weird.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo2bbw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Why_So_Slow</a></p>Humpty?
<p>My youngest niece had an imaginary friend and when my sister told me about it she said "ask her what she looks like"</p><p>"Ok, what's she look like?"</p><p>"Broken pieces."</p><p>"...Oh.. why's she broken sweetie?"</p><p>"She fell from our tree"</p><p>Nope. Sorry sis you're on your own. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo1o5t?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DarthSangheili</a><span></span></p>Mooky likes to Watch
<p>My cousin was a few years younger than me and he had an imaginary friend called 'Mooky'.</p><p>Mooky wasn't human, but some kind of alien/monster thing.</p><p>Used to freak me out when I'd hear a noise behind me at my grandparents house and my cousin would calmly say "It's only Mooky, he just wants to see you." </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjnlngq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Gemski13</a></p>I Know Her
<p>So maybe not scary but definitely weird.</p><p>When I was little I claimed to have an imaginary friend, who had light brown hair and wore a night gown, and she had stars for eyes.</p><p>Well, my niece was living at my old childhood home and she told me that she has a friend who misses me and she asked why I went away. When I asked who, she described my old imaginary friend. It was super spooky.</p><p><em>Edit:</em> I have been informed that this is scary, my apologies. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo4bvp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">StarDustAndLus</a></p>In the Fire
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ5ODc4Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2OTM4NzMyMX0.zj9afEPNCvRk6Xccb3-7bD8BPTadAujh2UhRdSDr1M0/img.gif?width=980" id="a3047" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="bdc5569341d7e043e11a13feed0de23d" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="337" data-height="253" />evil smile GIFGiphy<p>My cousin had an imaginary friend who she said used to live in the fireplace and "was red and patchy" - as if she was burnt. Apparently she was a little girl who wore funny clothes that "looked like olden day clothes". Still spooks me out! </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo5fxh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">babizzo</a></p>The Lonely
<p>My son stopped talking to his imaginary friend for months after my nephew, who was 15, took his own life. My son, who was not quite 5, was the apple of his eye. My nephew treated my son like a little brother, and since his mom watched my son while I worked, they spent tons of time together.</p>Bless Us
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ5ODc4My9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MDYzMzU1OH0.28HKUz3_fnNIDrVbRqw6qUGa8raZxutETJzbi4913rY/img.gif?width=980" id="98edd" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="327b4f9d5321f2f8be2826c162782ead" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="476" data-height="268" />The Exorcist GIF by filmeditorGiphy<p>A kid said he didn't want to go to church because "my invisible friend says he cant follow me in there." </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo4up5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Rook_45</a><span></span></p>People Who've Taken Ancestry DNA Tests Explain Which Secrets They've Uncovered About Their Family
Be careful what you wish for, you just may get it. That is one of the wisdoms of life that people are always throwing around. It can be especially true when meeting your idols, finding your dream job and searching down blood relatives you knew nothing about. The DNA discovery craze has been all the rage the past decade or so. Everyone is running around contacting family they never knew they had. That can be quite the Pandora's box of family secrets and scandal.The outcomes have been all over the place. Though one of the best led to the discovery of the Golden State killer so that's a win.
Redditor u/VideoFork wanted to know who would be willing to give up some salacious tea about their blood tie discoveries by asking..... People who have taken an ancestry DNA test and accidentally uncovered a family secret, what was it?