People Share Their Best 'You Picked A Fight With The Wrong Person' Stories
People can be like those Kinder Eggs they used to ban in the United States (for some unknown reason). On the outside, you're getting something you think you know. A person might be small, appear timid, or made out of chocolate. It's the inside, however, you need to be wary of. Sometimes a person might be more talented or dangerous than you realize, and the other times they'll probably just embarrass someone who deserves it with those hidden talents.
These are those stories!
Quora posed a question to its users:
What is the best case of "You just picked a fight with the wrong person" that you've witnessed
"I was a very young man eating pizza in a small restaurant in the Marina District in San Francisco. It was 1987 the summer time, late at night, and most in the crowd were pretty drunk. Two yuppies with their navy blue shirts and red power ties walk into the restaurant and cut in front of a Samoan and his girlfriend. When the Samoan said something, instead of just saying "I'm sorry," one of them made a smart remark."
"Then I stopped eating my pizza. I knew something bad was going to happen. I have always had good experiences with Samoans. They always treated me with more respect than most people do. But I never met a Samoan who would back down or suffer BS. I had a Samoan friend of mine literally pick me up and throw me into a bar fight, because I told him took martial arts classes, and he wanted to see if they were working."
"The yuppie smart mouthed the Samoan patron some more and threatened to call the police if he did anything. Faster than I could stuff another pizza slice into my mouth the Samoan gentleman did something I did not think was physically possible. He picked the yuppie vertically off his feet then turned him horizontally superman style. He held the yuppie's face over a pizza pie then literally dropped him straight down face first into the pizza."
"The amount of strength it took to literally turn the Yuppie's body side ways seemed amazing. The Samoan turned to me staring at him and said "You one of them?" Shook my head no and went back to eating my pizza. He left with his lady friend."
"The police shortly arrived. No one saw anything. The yuppie's smart suit and tie and big paycheck did not shield him from his big mouth. Be careful what you say, smile and always be respectful."
Never Cross A Man That Can Double Check All The Forms
"Once upon a time, my parents hired a company to redo their kitchen. They were basically supposed to change the marble countertops."
"The company was formed by husband, wife and three employees."
"They set up the countertops and soon realized a minor part of the marble did not fit exactly. They had to take the small bit that didn't fit back to their headquarters to redo the work."
"At that point, my parents had already paid 90% of the price."
"One week later they came back without prior notice and gained access to their apartment through the maid, who opened the door to let them finish the job."
"My parents were out on an errand."
"After the contractors finished their job, the owner called my father on his mobile and told him the job was completed."
"Since there had been problems with the execution before, my father told the man that he would come back home in about an hour, check the quality of the final touches and promptly pay the remaining 10% of the price."
"The man went ape and told my father that payment was due on the spot."
"My parents interrupted what they were doing and hurried back home."
"But at this point the contractor was already mad at them and took out every single bit of marble he had put in place and put it all in his van. Never mind the fact that, as I said, 90% was already paid for."
"Upon arriving home, my father noticed that all the stuff he paid for was in the van and being taken away."
"He is a man of action, and promptly put himself in front of the van to impede its exit."
"The contractor did not back down and just ran over my father, who was 65 at the time."
"His bruises were not grave, but he filed criminal suit against the man."
"The problem is that he hired a company, so he didn't know the contractor's name. And to file suit against someone, you must indicate his name, of course."
"The police weren't very eager to determine the identity of the perpetrator. And that's when my parents called me."
"I dived into the matter and found out not only his name and address, but several lawsuits against this guy and his wife. They took several loans and had not repaid them, they sold real estate and did not deliver, they crossed many people in business deals. In short, they owed a lot of people and banks in consequence of morally doubtful behaviour."
"And they had empty apartments in Copacabana, a very prized area of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil."
"I gave the Police the name of the guy and, on the side, purchased some of the credits against them owned by financial institutions."
"I represented my parents in the criminal lawsuit against these people and got them sentenced to jail (the husband) and reparation (the wife)."
"But I also pursued the exaction of the debts I bought and, six years later, I got one of their apartments as repayment of one of the debts."
"Now I am still waiting for judicial decision on the second apartment. It seems I will also take this one."
"The best part is that I paid only 25 thousand reais to buy the credit and the apartments are worth, together, a little under 1 million reais."
"This guy should not have run over my dear father… I bet this is one decision he regrets every day."
You Never Know Who Might've Won A Boxing Competition Before
"Actually didn't witness the fight, but the results were quite interesting."
"Was just thinking about this call yesterday, while driving by a skateboard park. It was near the end of my career, but a rather unique call. Not really sure why we even responded as it was a pretty simple medical call. Perhaps the ambulances were all delayed? We got called to a skate board park for an injury, expecting a broken bone or scrapes and bruises we found instead a big kid over 6 feet with a broken nose. The RCMP officer on scene was having a good chuckle when he introduced the patient, saying this guy likes to start fights with girls."
"There were about half a dozen other people hanging around both friends of the guy and this young girl on scene. As my guys were treating the patient I was getting some information on what happened. The girl was visiting from California with some friends here in British Columbia and they went down to the local skate board park for some fun and exercise. The girl was around 5 ft. 5 in. as best I recall and not very big, but a rather attractive young lady in her late teens."
"Seems that this guy is a bit of a bully and takes a liking to this cute gal visiting her local friends. The girl is however not impressed by his rather crude advances. They have a bit of a discussion and the guy winds up grabbing her and saying something along the lines of, "Why don't you suck my --?" as he goes to lay his hands on her. The next thing he knows he is on the ground with a broken nose."
"So in the conversation with the girl and her friends it comes out that she is here to participate in a boxing competition tomorrow. Well it seems she certainly has the skills for it, I wished her luck."
Reddit Users Share Their Best 'It's A Small World After All' Experience
Never Cross The Nana...
"...What you have to understand about my "Nana" is she strived to weigh more than a 100 pounds all her life, only weighed 102 pounds when she was pregnant with my mom, but she was relatively tall for a lady, so she looked like a rail! People mistook her size, later her age, as weakness, what they didn't realize is- she had grown up on a 98 acre working farm, had worked alongside share-croppers on the next farm over (she swore her Daddy worked the family harder), had 9 brothers and sisters, and could out eat me any day of the week, she was not a wilting flower!"
"When I was in school my "Nana" was always the first car in the pick-up line, she never wanted to be late to anything! I was in junior high, probably the middle of 8th grade, I always had my book bag ready and rushed out the door when the bell rang, because I knew she was waiting. One afternoon, I got to her car and realized that I had left a book in the school, so I turned around and ran back in. When I came out the side door of the school, I was met by the assistant principal."
"He was a big, burly, gruff man and he grabbed my arm (fatal error), so he could fuss at me. I immediately thought, "oh, crap, you've screwed up!" About the time I finished my thought, I heard her car door slam, I tried to hurry him up, because I knew this was about to get ugly! Then, I see a little bony finger with pink fingernail polish come over his shoulder, tap, tap, tap, and these weren't the kind of taps you use at church, I'm pretty sure she was going for blood!"
"He spun around there stood my "Nana" standing with her arms folded, foot tapping, and a look that would give Satan chills. In a fury and missing the obvious clues that were in front of him, he started telling her about my "misdeed" of going back in the building and complaining about her being the first person there and how I should hurry up since she was blocking the pick up lane. At this point, she put her finger up in his face and said, "shut up, little man!" He straightened up like he was going to correct her, he didn't realize that she was just giving him time to pray, "YOU put your hands on my grandbaby, her momma, her daddy, her poppy, and me don't put our hands on her and YOU SURE AS HELL AIN'T… AND another thing, I'll park where ever and for however long I want to in this school parking lot and she can go in and out of this building as many times as she wants to, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?????"
"This very large man was now trembling and repeating "yes, ma'am, I do," in a near catatonic state. She looked at me and nodded towards the car, needless to say I ran and got in because this was not the first, nor the last time I'd seen "Nana" in action. She got in the car, still mumbling under her breath, "just who the hell does he think he is???"
"My "Nana" was active right up until the end of her 90 years on this earth..."
"Have yee got a problem with me food, pal?"
"I was serving in the Reserves (Territorial Army as it was back then), and was getting some breakfast in the mess at Grantham. Some Americans were on the base, and a trio of them were eating, poking around at some black pudding (blood pudding). They weren't quite sure what it was, so I explained."
"They blew their top. "It's pig what? That's terrible!" they exclaimed, and one of them stormed off to the counter. "I wanna speak to the chef" he spouted. The server replied, "are you sure?". Clearly, he didn't relish the thought of disturbing the chef. "Of course I'm goddamed sure, the chef is trying to poison us with his barbarian food" the American spat. The server disappeared into the kitchen, and the American sat down."
"Shortly afterwards, the Chef came storming out of the kitchen."
"He was 6 foot 5, built like a brick sh*thouse, and bore a Scots Guards tattoo on his forearm. He spied the Yanks."
"Striding over to the table, he growled in the thickest and most menacing Glaswegian accent, "have yee got a problem with me food, pal?" The American all decided to look at their boots."
"He put his face inches from the nearest soldier. "I said, have YEE got a problem with me FOOD, pal?". The table all shook their heads and muttered about the weather. The chef turned about, and headed back to the kitchen. The 3 Americans all lost their appetites and left the mess."
"Breakfast with a slice of humble pie."
"My friend whom everyone calls Doc, has 2 Ph.D's and is a very low key person, entered a convenient store wth me one afternoon. Doc is 57 years old and average build. He later told me he saw these 2 early 20's jitterbugs casing him in the store. As we left, we each went to our own vehicle. He said he saw them following him to his truck. As he went to get in, one pulled a gun from his pocket and said I'll take your money. Doc's back was to the guy at this time."
"He immediately spun around, side kicked the guy and sent him over the curb whereupon he hit his head and was out. We later found out the guy got 3 broken ribs as well."
"I saw what happened and asked him, where did you learn that ? He said I'll tell you later. Having to know I followed him home whereupon he showed me he held 4 black belts in 4 different styles of martial arts. That wasn't the best of it as he was always careful for no one to see him shirtless. I always wondered why until this moment."
"He pulled back his shirt, he was a Yakuza. These guys definitely picked the wrong guy on this day. The other guy, well he ran off. Funny thing was I heard several people harass the kid that he let an older man kick his a--. Doc told the observers not to call the cops. He said I'm sure the kid is embarrassed enough."
Never Bother A Kid Reading
"I've been teaching anger management classes for a decade. Many people in the classes are there because they've done something legally notable but have never offended before and show little to no likelihood of offending again. From these classes I have so many stories to share, but one in particular stands out."
"A 16-year-old tall slender boy showed up one day for class. He was polite, quiet, committed to paying attention and did a great job earning his certificate. He didn't really want to share his story during introductions. He generally shared that he got in a fight at school."
"Later in the day after a lot of vulnerability was demonstrated by many of the participants, the boy raised his hand and asked if he could talk. Of course, I gave him the floor."
"He explained he had been bullied at school for as long as he could remember. He was beaten up often by the same groups and this lasted for years throughout elementary school and high school."
"I'm assuming he had changed a lot as he grew because the boy in my class seemed gentle but not necessarily an "easy target." Kids can be cruel, of course, but it's often the case that bullies choose targets that wouldn't stand a chance at defending themselves. In my mind, this boy was once an easy target, but no more! Even though he grew up, sprouted tall, somehow he kept the target image even though he was developing into a strapping young man."
"One day in the cafeteria he was reading a book and a neighbouring table of boys started picking on him. He ignored them until it was no longer possible. Then he got up to walk away. They pursued him and were throwing pennies and trash at him. They called him worthless, and garbage, and other demeaning things."
"At one point one of the bullies said something that the boy couldn't ignore. At this point the boy stopped walking away and turned to face the group of bullies. He walked towards them and asked who had said the one specific comment. Proudly and immediately one of the bullies claimed responsibility. Without another word, the boy punched the bully in the face. It was one shot but it shattered the bully's jaw and knocked him out. The boy was suspended and mandated to take anger management classes."
"To my knowledge he had never been violent before or since. In that moment, however, it was as if he was standing up against all the years of abuse and all the bullies."
"It wasn't a "fight" per se, but I would definitely say that the bully "picked on" the wrong person at the wrong time. This one bully certainly wasn't every bully in the boy's past, but he most certainly received the boy's wrath as if he was."
"I can't say what the boy did was right. But I understand what drove him to react the way he did. Insofar as he was defending himself, I'm glad he was done being a victim. Often the trouble with being passive in the face of threats is that you'll explode at some point. And he did..."
Never Think You're Too Big For Your Britches
"...I worked at GT for awhile. We had this Chinese fellow there who was a graduate assistant. This guy was the most stereotypical "Chinese graduate student" you've ever seen. Google "Chinese graduate student" and I'm pretty sure his picture would come up. I'll call him Li"
"This guy could fight."
"Really, really fight."
"The school had their athletic complex, and there was a guy that taught kung fu."
"I'm pretty sure you have seen the type. Arrogant, has to be the center of attention, couldn't stand anyone calling him on anything."
"Well I see Li walk past and he's going to attend the class. Since the weight machines I want to use are over there, I follow. I'm on the leg press and the guy starts his class."
"Five minutes in an Li points out something that the instructor says is wrong."
"How would you do it?""
"Li gets up and demonstrates. The guy doesn't like getting showed up."
"Well in a fight that would never work."
"Li points out again, he's wrong."
"The instructor gets mad and tells Li to put up or shut up."
"At this point, I want to reflect that maybe, just maybe, when the Chinese student who muddles his way through English who's already shown you up once already says something, challenging him is a bad idea, but I digress..."
"Li gets up and takes off his sweatshirt. I've always seen him in long sleeved dress shirts. This guy is cut. He's solid muscle."
"They start sparring. It's at this point I realize that Li has this guy licked. Not just licked, but Li isn't even trying. The "instructor" is throwing everything he has at him. Nothing is connecting."
"Finally the instructor says "come on and hit me if you can" because at this point, Li's just been dodging and blocking."
"There's a slap as Li catches the guy's right ear."
"Now the instructor is mad. He goes at him again."
"Another two slaps, and the instructor is holding both his ears."
"Li isn't even sweating."
"Li "plays" with him for about another minute. Somehow the "instructor" gets close enough to try to lift him off the ground."
"This is a mistake."
"He drives an elbow down hard into this guy's back. There's a yell. Li explodes on this guy. The whole time I'm thinking about Jet Li or Anyone I've seen in Chinese action movies."
"Guy is knocked off the mats. He's hurt. Li isn't even sweating. After that. He just turns, grabs his top and walked off."
"He stuck around school for another year, got his PhD and went back to China. I really wish I could find him today."
These were some surprising stories.
Do you have a similar experience you'd like to share? Let us know in the comments.
Among the many reasons people watch, and rewatch, sitcoms is to imagine your life was more like the one you were watching.
Being able to afford a two-bedroom apartment in Greenwich Village on a line cook's salary, somehow always having the comfortable sofa available at your favorite coffee shop whenever you pop in, or having your best friends always available at your beck and call whenever you need them.
For the romantics, however, it's wishing you could have a romance like you've seen on television.
True not all sitcom romances are exactly the sort that makes you go all aflutter (Were Ross and Rachel actually on a break? And don't even get me started about Ted and Robin.)
Other sitcom couples are so captivating, though, that we would have given anything to be at their wedding... or at the very least go to their home for dinner every Friday.
And this includes plutonic couples, as there is nothing more heartwarming than a lasting friendship.
"What is the best couple in sitcom history?"
Creating An Even More Welcoming Community
"Troy and Abed. A couple of friends."- aghzombies
"They did grace the cover of Best Friends Weekly."- DwightsEgo
"Peralta and Doug Judy."- DavosLostFingers
"Reunited and it feels so good 🎶."- Ghostenx
"PSYCH"!... No, Seriously...
"Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster."- dazedcap
"'I'm Black, he's Tan'."- CrueGuyRobShawn Spencer What GIFGiphy
"The correct answer is Gomez and Morticia Addams."- Reddit
"They loved each other dearly. "
"They were completely enamored with each other, spent time with their kids, their family."
"Accepted everyone as they were."
"It wasn't til I was an adult That I realized married couples weren't meant to hate each other."
"My mother had many partners in my childhood, she's toxic and things were always chaotic."
"And watching 90s sitcoms, I thought married people were meant to hate each other, and I always wondered what the point was."- MissMurder8666
Overshadowed By Their Middle Child...
"Hal and Lois."- MrRocketman999
"As a husband, I don't think I can live up to Hal."
"He sort of sets a really high standard lol."
"He loves her like they are still in the honeymoon phase."
"So infatuated with her lol."- treathugger
A Better Couple? Many Would Say, "Knope"...
"Ben and Leslie."
"I' love you and I like you.'"
"Simple line, yet so powerful."- RadkeyooAmy Poehler Ben GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy
"Gruesome", But Adorable
"Frank and Charlie from Always Sunny in Philadelphia."
"The gruesome twosome."- Herr_Poopypants
The Parents Everyone Wished Were Theirs...
"Bob and Linda from 'Bobs burgers'."- shashybaws
"All of the Belchers have such great relationships with each other. "
"They're wholly accepting and supportive (even if they disagree)."
"They really love each other, and it shows."- SummerOfMayhem
UK Version Only, Of Course...
"Moss and Roy (The IT Crowd)."- pentapotamia
"'I'm your wife, Roy!'"- Summerof5ft6andahalf
"'If anything, I’m the husband!'"- pentapotamiait crowd chris odowd GIFGiphy
Afterlife Be Damned... Or not, Actually...
"Eleanor and Chidi from 'The Good Place.'"
"How can you beat two deeply flawed people who together make each other better over and over again?"- hotbimess
Ruining All Food For Viewers, One Food Group At A Time...
"The only correct answer is - Scully and Hitchcock."- Prestigious-Net-2236
"Back off! It's our microwave! Ours! GRRRRRRR!"- Lvcivs2311
Nostalgic And Wonderful
"Kitty and Red from That 70s/90s Show."- saginator5000
"I like how Red on the surface seems like a mean parent who doesn’t let his kids have fun."
"But he’s watching out for his kids."
"And he’s a good man."
"He has a hard and stressful time supporting his family and he is grumpy sometimes but he would do anything for his family and he really loves them."
"What he does for Hyde is amazing."
"He just doesn’t put up with BS."- themanfromvulcanMothers Day Woman GIF by LaffGiphy
It Seems Everyone Is Better With Turk At Their Side
"Turk and Carla."
"Or Turk and JD. (Scrubs)."- JCBAwesomist
"Turk and JD all the way."- nunyabidnez76
Can't We Get Back What We Once Had?...
"Homer and Marge had a lot of beautiful moments back in the older seasons."
"Sadly, seasonal rot has ruined a lot of that."
"I miss a lot of how the characters used to be."
"Like, Homer was an oaf and a brute, but he loved his family immensely and deeply and would (and DID) do any and everything for them."
"He'd catch details like in that episode about the streetcar play that you wouldn't think he would."
"He gave up beer for a month for Marge and we got to see that, for him, it wasn't just a minor thing."
'Lisa might have been intelligent but she not only had ample 'dumb/shallow' moments, she also was very close to Bart and, likewise, Bart was close to her."
"He might struggle in school but he also showed he wasn't dumb either."- Snowtwohomer simpson love GIFGiphy
Be they married in the first episode or on and off again for an insufferable amount of time (looking at you, Jeanine and Gregory in Abbott Elementry!), sitcom couples give us people to root for and fill our own hearts with hope.
So much so that we don't mind following the arc of their love stories over and over again.
And yes, the episode where David meets Patrick's parents remains a tearjerker, no matter how many times you watch it.
As an editor, I am not just in charge of proofreading and correcting style and format. I am also in charge of making sure all the contact information provided, such as phone numbers and emails, work.
After working for 10 hours straight a few months ago, I forgot to check the phone numbers and let a brochure go to publication with a phone number that did not work.
Luckily, a similar mistake had actually happened before with another editor for another client a year prior, so contact info on print materials like this brochure were checked by every department rather than just editorial, and the mistake was caught.
Since I didn't know this, when I heard the phone number was wrong, my heart dropped to my stomach and I thought I was sure fired. Luckily, I was just told to make sure this never happens again. I was relived that there was no fallout, but when I first heard what happened, my only thought was. 'I totally f**ked up!'
Redditors are no strangers to this feeling, as they've made egregious mistakes themselves. They are only too eager to share their experiences.
It all started when Redditor Puzzled_Assistant_ asked:
"What was your "I f**ked up" moment?"
"I managed to destroy a $4k piece of test equipment by connecting the wrong leads. For the briefest of moments the screen showed an overvoltage warning... That's when I knew."
Let's Write It Off
"If it makes you feel better my husband bought a bit of software to test and forgot to cancel it. A year later and 70k he had to fess up to his boss. Luckily his boss said don't worry I'll spin it as efficiency savings..."
"He is usually a massive d*ck so I can only presume it saved his a*se too. There was a lot of anxiety in my house when my husband realises so very grateful for how it turned out."
"I threw away a cashier's check for $50,000. I didn't think it would be a big deal, didn't understand the difference between a cashier's check and a regular check. We had thrown the trash in the dumpster at work, so my dad and I went down around midnight and tore open all the garbage bags in the dumpster before we found it."
Five Second Rule?
"I worked in a commercial kitchen. I had just finished making and plating hundreds of deviled eggs. As I moved them into the walk -in, the cart wheels caught on the lip and sent ALL OF THEM straight on the floor."
"Edit. Forgot to mention, this was the first day with the new head chef"
"I was carrying a huge tray of Mac and cheese for dinner for 62 people (besides some salad the only dinner) and spilled all of it on the floor with everyone waiting in line watching me, plates in their hand waiting for food to arrive."
Ouch, Ouch, Ouch!
"Used to downhill skate pretty regularly, took my time and had some safe spots away from traffic. Took a tumble once and popped up on my feet but my right leg crumbled. Looked down and my right foot was doinked 90⁰ to the left. "I done f**ked up" was running through my head 100x every second for weeks"
"Almost happened to me, no helmet and smacked the pavement. Broke my skull but miraculously survived, 4 days bleeding out my ear in the hospital, 6 weeks of triple vision, years of recovery but I have very few ongoing issues. That was my “I f**ked up” moment, boy did I get lucky"
"Edit: since I’ve had several questions about the triple vision I’ll elaborate. I don’t understand why or how it worked but I was seeing 3 of everything. Neurologists told me my eyesight could go back to normal in a couple weeks, months, or maybe even a year. They said after a year if it hadn’t gone back to normal then it would most likely be permanent. It was lucky this happened when I was 19 because my brain was still developing so it was able to create new connections. If it had happened 10 years later then the damage certainly would have been permanent"
"My first marriage. First day of the honeymoon. We are at a nice sightseeing spot. I take a photo of him in front of a memorial. After taking the photo, I say: “Oh, I think I cut of your feet in that shot.” He throws a total fit about it. That’s when I realized, I f**ked up marrying him."
"I stuck it out eight years with him. I don’t take my promises lightly, so I tried to make things work one way or another. Eventually, I realized that ‘till death do us part’ could be some fifty or sixty years more of this and I filed for divorce. One of the better decisions in my life."
Take As Instructed
"I was a lead in a play for a theatre company, came down with an intense cough, decided to see a doctor, they prescribed me a cough suppressant, I figured if the recommended dose worked then more than the recommended dose would work even better. Drank half a bottle of DXM syrup two hours before going on stage and accidentally had an out of body experience in front of a full house. I was young, naive and very high. Director wasn’t too happy about it."
Follow The Recipe
"Let's go back to my first kitchen job. I was a prep cook for a bakery / coffee shop. One morning, I was making cinnamon rolls and following the recipe, or so I thought."
"I pull my first batch of 30 out of the oven, and the owner comes by for a taste. She takes one bite, spits it out? And asks me what my process was. I told her I doubled the recipe as she requested, so you know 14 TBSP of cinnamon. Problem!!!! That number I thought was a 7, was in fact a 1."
"This is only tangentially similar but when I was in like 8th grade I tried to treat my parents by making meatloaf. We were eating and they said it tasted weird and asked what I put in it. I listed off the ingredients including garlic, and they asked where I got the garlic. Well, from the shelf at the bottom of the pantry of course!"
"It was not garlic. It was tulip bulbs."
"That was the day I learned tulip bulbs can be poisonous if consumed 😀 we were all okay tho. Just me being a silly goose."
Time To Get Rid Of It
"I decided to scrape out old, stale brownies that had hardened to the pan with a knife."
"The thought flicked through my mind a fraction of a second before the knife slipped out of the pan and plunged into the center of my palm."
"Side note: after that, the knife was always darker where it had been inside my hand. Anyone know why?"
"Another side note: 5 years later, guy broke in my house and tried to kill me with that very same knife!"
"This was quite the rollercoaster read"
"This is like final destination! Get rid of that knife!!!"
"He escaped with it, so it’s no longer my burden to bear."
"I f**ked up. I locked myself in an empty jail."
"I was reviewing a jobsite at 5pm on a Friday, and I was the last guy there. My cell phone had just ran out of battery. It was a new county courthouse in the USA and it was nearly complete. I was checking door functionality, mechanical function only. The whole building had electric security on each door but it was turned off. I had a master keycard and an actual door key to override the door locks, just incase. At one point I mindlessly walked into a side chamber of the main courtroom. I realize it’s the detainee lobby. As I turn back I hear the door click shut. I tried the electric keycard that I had. It didn’t work because no electric 😤. I tried the regular key that I had, and the lock didn’t work properly. I tried again. Nothing. And again, nothing. And again a few more times. It still doesn’t work."
"I bang on the door and shout for help for a few minutes. It’s useless, no one’s there. I try the door lock a few more times. It doesn’t work. There is approximately 62 hours until anyone was supposed to be at the jobsite again."
"I f**ked up."
"I didn’t want to but I ended up kicking the door and after a few minutes it broke. It broke around the lock with the lock staying connected to the frame, 😆. Everyone laughed at me on Monday."
"Edit: the door between the detainee lobby and the courtroom was a heavy solid wood door and not as secure as the detainee cell doors. That’s because the policy was always to have a sheriff with the detainee when in that room."
"Step 1: go make lemonade in the 5 liter tank, it was summer and there were 6 of us in the house so we needed it"
"Step 2: the sugar and the salt are in two identical containers"
"Step 3: regret existing"
Such a simple (and rather common) mistake, but still one the most horrible!
With the world's finances the way they are, it's a miracle if people can save their spare change.
Inflation has a stronghold on too many people.
Sometimes it feels like just breathing can cost you money.
It's hard to make and absurdly easy to lose.
So be vigilant with your wallet.
And try to spend on certain things in moderation.
Going out for meals three times a day adds up.
Even with Wendy's value menu.
Redditor gejiw94601 wanted to compare notes on how money can slip away so easily, so they asked:
"What's the biggest waste of money?"
Money is so easy to lose.
Just ask my best friend... vodka.
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"Donating to rich Twitch streamers. I’ll probably never understand why people do it."
"I remember watching one guy drop $60k to Ninja. I was making 30k a year at the time, this guy drop double my salary in one stream."
"Credit Card interest."
"When I first go a credit card I used it only when I was short on cash, but it ended up me throwing money at stupid things because I knew I had a credit card to fall back on if I needed it."
"Now I use my card for the points, and I pay it off about every two weeks. While I'm still not great at adulting, at least I figured out this part."
What about Florida?
"The $50 scratch-off lottery tickets you can buy in Iowa."
"I used to work for the VA lottery. I got to see the numbers, the payout was only about 20% (if that) of profit for scratch-offs. Slightly higher for the draw games. But print-n-play was almost 1-1 for payout vs profit. Don't know how it is now or how other state's payout margins are, but print-n-play is where it's at if you're gonna play anything."
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"Buying cheap crap you have to replace."
"My dad once told me to not spend excessive money on tools at first. Buy them for dirt cheap, and learn which tools you really need. And when they break: replace them with quality ones. Buying pro-grade stuff you don't need is wasted money."
Spending a little extra can go a long way.
Cheap doesn't often equal quality.
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"Buying ridiculously expensive clothes to flex."
"Clothes are a two-way issue. Good clothes last a long time and the price is worth it for the comfort on top of that. But some clothes are 100x the price and 1/10th the quality. So there is a fine line here."
Pay to Lose
"Pay to win games."
"I played a lot of mobile games with in-game currencies. I have never spent a cent on these games. Why would I spend hundreds of dollars if I can enjoy the game and learn how to play even if it's slow? And many items don't even help you at the game. It's just skins or titles that only show other players how stupid you were to pay for a free app."
"Gold Food, or more accurately food that is covered in something called gold leaf. In my eyes, food is worth buying if they provide a great amount of nutrition for considerably good prices. After all, you probably avoid paying 50 million dollars just to buy a few molecules that are useless to your health and needs."
"And then there's gold leaf food, sure the food looks fancy but at the cost of a ludicrous amount of money! And with the gold having no usable nutrients at all, it is just not worth it to buy such expensive food for a relatively small amount of nutrients."
"For instance, Industry Kitchen (hopefully that's the name of the place) in NYC serves a pizza with a gold leaf covering for a whopping price of $2000. While at my home country which is Indonesia, Domino's serves an American Classic Cheeseburger Pizza (IDK that's a thing) which is the most expensive pizza I could find on the website costs around $7 which is just baffling to me."
"Fireworks, I love them, but it's like $50 per second for the good ones."
"Yeah, I end up spending probably $300 each summer buying fountains and batteries and helicopters and cardboard tanks and sh*t--none of the big professional skyrockets. It's absurd, I'll be the first to admit."
"But it's fun!"
"Crazy expensive day. Guaranteed at least one relative will kick up a stink. Massive pressure to be The Happiest Day of Your Life. Everything doubles in cost if you say it's for a wedding (dress, suit, cake, venue) Just do the quick registry office paperwork, have a surprise party, and run away for a long honeymoon with the money you saved."
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"Gambling for sure."
"I live in a small town where a casino is the big attraction They've had numerous people crap and pee themselves because they didn't wanna get up from the slots because 'it's just about to pay out.'"
Gambling is the greatest way to lose money.
Addiction will take everything if you let it.
We all have strong opinions about something, but when we think of opinions, we often think of hot button topics like political subjects.
But as it turns out, sometimes we can have just as strong of opinions of our preferred types of pasta.
Redditor PeeB4uGoToBed asked:
"What's the best pasta shape and why?"
The Right Answer
"I prefer my pasta, like my nuggets, to be dinosaur-shaped."
"This is my true answer, but if I have to pretend to be an adult, I always say Cavatappi."
"Radiatori. Thick and perfect for pasta sauces."
"They're so fun. They're my favorite, ahead of rotini. I just like ridges, I guess."
"Best for mac and cheese."
"My first time having cavatappi mac and cheese changed my life."
"Cavatappi gang, RISE UP."
"I see your cavatappi and raise you cavatelli."
"Cavatelli is the bee's knees, man."
"The shell shape stores cheese and sauces, so with each bite, you get tons of flavor."
"Yes! Mac n cheese always tastes amazing with Conchiglie, I don't make the rules."
"Rigatoni. My favorite dish is baked rigatoni with bolognese. I love the texture of the ridges and the larger hollow part scoops up the sauce very well as compared to ziti or penne."
"Cascatelli. Some crazy f**k got obsessed with answering the OP's question and invented this."
"Cascatelli is great, but his second round of shapes, specifically vesuvio, might be better."
"Agreed. Vesuvio is peak."
"I prefer quattrotini. I find it has better forkability and toothsinkability."
"Fusilli because it's silly."
"Bucatini is the best of all worlds. You have everything that's great about the long noodles and it's hollow! It absorbs sauce and oil on the inside."
"I hate bucatini! You can't suck a protruding part into your mouth because of the hole in the middle. You can't pick it up with a fork, because it's too slippery with sauce."
"Penne... because the sauce is in AND on it, lol (laughing out loud)."
"The pasta that would literally drive me insane if I tried to make it from scratch."
"I came to say this. Just something about it. Amazing mouth feel. Great texture. Good with light and heavy, meaty sauces."
"This one. There’s something so nostalgic about it for me. And I feel like it does well with most sauces. A very versatile shape for a variety of pasta dishes."
"Linguine: the spaghetti that went to private school."
"I am totally on board with linguine. Flat to catch the sauce and thin enough to cook evenly for the perfect consistency! Pairs with many sauces too!"
"Flat pasta is better than round pasta (like spaghetti) for sauces and flavors being absorbed. It's long enough to give the lady and the tramp vibes and not feel like you're a kid eating some superhero shapes out of a bowl like Fusilli and Farfalle can give off."
"It's thicker than tagliatelle to give it enough girth to feel like more of a main event than just being the bed your sauce and toppings sit on."
"Overall, it's just the best all-rounder in my book."
This conversation just goes to show how many pasta options there actually are in the world, some that we may have not even heard of yet, because of them being invented in 2020!
But it also goes to show that we all have our favorites, and we can have very strong opinions about them.