People Who Have Hooked Up With Their Friends' Parents Reveal How It Went Down
Talk about awkward... people share their hookup stories but involving sex with friends' parents. Just... no. Ok maybe.
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
I know a girl who cheated on her BF of 5 years with his dad.
She and the dad are married now.
No offense, but... Florida.
I got an IRL story like this. Dude I'm distantly related to was expecting a baby with his wife. Pretty normal.
He and wife start fighting. Wife tells him it's not his baby. It's... dun, dun, duh... his dad's. Dude doesn't really believe it, confronts dad, dad cops to it. This causes issues with dudes parents and they separate. Dudes separated from his wife. So... the wife and dad move in together.
Long story short, dude suddenly doesn't have a wife or family or child, goes on big alcohol/drug binge (we're pretty redneck down here). Lots of intoxicated driving. Dude gets in an accident and is killed.
Mom and dad reconcile while grieving, now Mom and Dad and Wife and a new baby all live together.
Welcome to Central Florida.
Women can be creeps too ya know.
Had sex with my mom's friends, pretty traumatic experience in all honesty.
She had always been the "cool mom" out of my moms friend group, hooked me up with my first job at a catering company she worked for, snuck me and my friends alcohol from time to time, etc. it was also pretty apparent her marriage was on the rocks for some time.
One night we were both working a catering event together that had an open bar, and she had quite a bit to drink and began flirting a little. She would ask me questions about if I had ever been with an older woman.
Fast forward to the end of the night she was my ride home and was too drunk to drive so I drove her car home to my dad's place, as soon as I parked the car she forced my hands on her breasts and started fondling.
I eventually caved in and proceeded to receive the most painful blow job of my life that left actual marks and awkward van sex.
Not quite the wild pool boy story, but I was hoping to shed some light on how ugly these scenarios can wind up.
He was the breathalyzer.
So he wasn't really a friend per se...
I used to buy weed from him in my mid-20s and he was about 20 and lived with his mom.
She was late 40s... Went by once and he was just leaving, his mom asked if I wanted to drive her to the bar. Turns out she had had a few and currently had a breathalyzer in her car... I knew I was getting laid whether I wanted it or not.
Anyway, fun night. Never went by there again.
There's an age of consent for a reason...
My friend's mom in high school went through a nasty divorce and his dad quickly married his much younger girlfriend. She began flirting with me a few weeks later and eventually it led to us hooking up. Over the following months I learned nearly everything I know about sex from her. I found out later that year I was one of several friends she'd been hooking up with. I was devastated as my young mind thought I was in love. It sent me into a pretty serious depression and f_cked up my views of sex since.
Please let me out of the car.
I didn't know he was her dad, he was just someone I was sleeping with but one night when we were out driving, we drove past my old high school and he mentioned that his daughter went there. I made the connection with the surname and asked, he confirmed.
And he learned Spanish!
I was 23 and she was 44. Her son and I were friends and in college together. She was 5'2", thin, really cute and originally from the Dominican Republic. She had always kind of flirted with me, but I just thought that's all it was. I was wrong.
A bunch of us got together and went out to have dinner on NYE, and she went with us. We all had fun and went back to her house. Her son and his girlfriend went to bed and before I was able to get out the door, she asked me to sit beside her, by the fireplace. She leaned her head on my shoulder and looked up at me and asked: "Do you want to?". Couldn't say yes fast enough.
She and I dated for two and half years. As a bonus, I learned a good deal of Spanish from her.
Some serious NSFW revenge.
Her daughter dumped me for a guy she didn't like and I fell on hard times with my mom, so I would occasionally go over there to shower and eat something. She was in her 40's, very thin but had a very nice face and was always very nice to me. I was 18 and always very complimentary to her and thankful for her helping me out. She was helping me without her daughter's knowledge as well. One day a hug goodbye got really long. She wouldn't let go, but she wasn't doing anything else. Just hanging on very tight. Being 18 and because of our relationship, I developed an instant erection. I guess she felt it and nuzzled closer. I started kissing her neck. Pulled her dress up. I guess her husband didn't really pay attention to her. (Something I didn't notice or pay attention to while I was dating her daughter.) We went at it for a few hours as the house was empty. She must've been pent up. It was honestly surreal. It didn't set in for a few days. My ex and my friends were all intertwined. I couldn't tell anyone and never have. Happened a few more times until I had my life in order and it seemed like she was starting to regret cheating on her husband.
"Come see my artwork and chill."
I had sex with an ex-girlfriend's mom. She broke up with me and a couple of weeks later I ran into her mom in the grocery store. Her mom commented that she missed me being around and I said I missed her too, she was a pretty cool mom. She told me that her divorce got finalized, her sister was going to move in and some other small talk type stuff that we both shared as we walked around the store.
I helped her put her groceries in her car and she hugged me. She told me I should come over sometime and see her new paintings, she was an artist. I went over a week or so later and she served me some wine and basically seduced me and introduced me to role play at the same time. We saw each other for over a year and then she moved, I miss her sometimes.
Yeah dude that counts.
I had sex with my son's girlfriends mom. Does that count?
Revenge, blissful revenge.
Friend of mine slept with my sister and kept making a big deal about it (I honestly could've cared less), and his mom was always making offhand sexual comments when I was around her so I decided to go for it. She had him when she was 16, we were around 18-19, so she wasn't old and still looked pretty good. Came through one day knowing he wasn't there after flirting with her pretty hard for a few weeks and she almost immediately jumped my bones. We slept together for a while after and neither of us ever said a word about it. It was fun while it lasted and I didn't stay friends with the guy for other reasons.
And then some follow up...
My buddy does this about my sister he f_cked after I moved away to college. But I don't mention that I used to f_ck his now-wife right before they started dating.
This is some real game.
I was 18 and my GF and I went to the zoo with her mom and my GF ended up throwing some kind of temper tantrum. Since her mother drove it was an awkward car ride home. I wouldn't even talk to her, and I looked over and she was giving me a death stare and said: do you want to break up. I sat there for a second and her mom said she was going to drop her, my GF and drive me the rest of the way home. I said yeah, yeah I do.
She dropped her daughter off and drove me home. I joked that my plan to get to her via her daughter had worked. She laughed at that and said I'd be lost and have no idea what to do with her. I blushed so hard at that and she saw it.
It took me a few minutes to gather my thoughts and figured: I'm going to flirt. Her mom since the day I met her would always wear tighter shirts and hip-hugging jeans around me. She was a recently divorced woman who may have been lonely, who knows. So I made a flirty comment about her looking fitter every time I came over.
We get back to my house, my parents aren't there and she had joked about taking the day off to come and use my pool. So I used that and said, it's a great night for night swimming. I fully expected her to just laugh and tell me to get out. But she said ok and there I was with my now ex GFs mother in my pool, she's in her undies and we are making out. The following weekend my now ex went to her dad's for the weekend and I stayed the weekend with her mother and we messed around. It went on for a few weeks more but broke it off when her daughter started suspecting it.
I don't regret it and we both had a lot of fun.
What a classy account.
I went from a known screw up to "the guy with his s*** together," at least in my town. I graduated, joined the military, got out and started a business. After my business stabilized a few months ago, I went home and visited an old HS friend who's mooching off of his mom, just like his dad. Anyway, the friend invited me over for dinner but I showed up early and he ended up flaking. So mom, dad and I had dinner together. It got pretty tense because dad didn't like me too much. He thought I was home just to show off my new life (kind of was), and he didn't care to hear about it at all. But she wouldn't stop asking me about it, causing him to get super annoyed and leave. Our conversation carried on into the evening, and my friend finally stumbled in clearly drunk. His mom just looked embarrassed and disappointed. I took him up to his room and tucked him into bed. When I came downstairs she hugged me telling me how proud of me she was and that watching me turn out like this was heartwarming. She was the first person to say anything of the sort, since to my parents I'm still a screw-up. While hugging my lips touched her neck and she squeezed me closer. From there you can all figure out what happened next. I was still home for a few more days after that and since my parents didn't appreciate my presence, I stayed with them. Interestingly enough, staying with them made the dad warm up to me. As of now, no one else knows except my business partner and the lovely people of Reddit.
He listened to the right head.
No sex, because I stopped myself. I was 18 and it was my very hot aunt by marriage who was my uncle's wife and my mom's good friend. I visited her sometimes when the uncle wasn't around because she was the "cool aunt" who was always telling me, "hey, stop by anytime and use my place like a crash pad during the day. Bring your gf if I'm not around and do whatever you guys do. I'll give you a key. You know me, I'm cool." I found out just how cool she was.
I stopped by one day and she was drinking a bit and she made a little joke about me being a big boy and then pushed up HARD. I had very little self-control and dove at her. She laughed and we started to get into it but she pushed me back slightly and told me to slow down because we had time. That snapped me out of it enough to make me realize that if I did this, at some point, she was going to pissed off at my uncle and let it slip as a "F--- you" to him, and I was eventually going to have to deal with my uncle & cousin & mom. Not worth it. Noped out of there.
Would've been hot but could've wrecked a lot of stuff. Much better not to have.
...there are some unanswered questions here.
My buddy's mom had recently gotten divorced, I went to his house looking for him so we could go play baseball. He had already left but she invited me in anyway, it escalated quick. Other one was a woman I worked with, she asked if I wanted to go out for drinks one night, I had a fake ID so I went for it. Went back to her place and did the deed. Woke up the next morning to her making breakfast, went into the kitchen to see her and her two kids were sitting at the kitchen table. Recognized them instantly, I previously dated her daughter freshman year and I played football with her son. I had no idea how old she was when I went out with her and didn't know her kids were older.
Her username is totally misleading.
When I was nineteen, I ended up in a mental hospital for a suicide attempt and one of the ladies in one of my group therapy groups was the mom of this guy I had gone to high school with. She was separated from her husband at the time and she and I got along well.
After I got out of the hospital she and I would hang out and talk or go to the movies. One day, I apparently seduced her (not exactly on purpose) and we sorta started sleeping together a lot. She divorced her husband told her family she was a lesbian and said she felt like she always had been gay but didn't know it. She went full on LGBT empowerment! This was the early nineties in the Bible Belt and she was a just out 48-year-old. She starting dating different women and last I saw her, she seemed very happy
Well he tried, but you know how these things go.
I always had the hots for her. Nothing happened except some decent text messages and one other make out session for another year, and I moved away.
I'm 21 and living back in my hometown. She had three kids, all my age, and we hung out occasionally.
We got drunk one night and I promised my friend I wasn't gonna bang his mom. Well, she started cuddling up close to me and it was game over
Any engaged couple looks forward to the big day when after months of planning, they get to tie the knot and declare their love in front of family and friends.
What could possibly go wrong?
It turns out there are so many variables that can contribute to making the bride and groom's celebration a major matrimonial miss.
Curious to hear examples of weddings gone wrong, Redditor lolf**kno asked:
"Those who have been to a ruined wedding, what happened?"
Dramatic brawls and speeches plagued these weddings.
Catty Attendees And Booze
"Very beautiful wedding in a huge barn at this apple orchard. They must have spent a ton of money on the decorations and catering because it looked like something out of a magazine. The ceremony was great, the flower girl did her thing, the vows got everyone choked up. Everything seemed to be going well. Not even 15 minutes into the reception the mothers of the bride and groom getting into a full out brawl, hair pulling, red wine being thrown. Their sons jump in to defend their honor, chairs start being throw, tables are flipped, parents are grabbing children and running for their lives."
"The bride and groom are horrified and leave immediately and head back their honeymoon suite. My fiancé and I left after this as well but we heard from some other friends that most people ended up staying and getting wasted at the open bar on the bride and groom's dime. Apparently, the fight started because one of the groom's sister complimented the bride's grandmother's dress. The bride's mom thought she was being sarcastic and called her a b*tch, then the drama ensued. Mind you they had all been pregaming the wedding pretty hard."
Playing For The Drunk Uncle
"I played a wedding where as we started playing the set, everyone ran outside and nobody was to be seen for the rest of the night."
"I originally assumed it was because nobody liked us but the bride came in afterwards and said there was a huge fight involving multiple members of both families and everyone basically went home upset, injured or in a police van."
"We couldn't stop playing since we were payed and it was our job, and the only person watching was the drunk uncle dancing on his own asking for requests we didn't know."
Maid Of Honor Speech Goes Off The Rails
"Was a guest of friend of the bride, did not know anyone attending. Very expensive over the top place, several hundred guests of this very Italian wedding. Maid of honor grabs mic at the cocktail hour begins her speech, rambling, drunk. Quickly devolves to stating the recently deceased mother of the bride was against this wedding and that's basically what killed her. Plus Vinny will never give up sex workers. She is tackled by several people and dragged away."
"The happy couple is separated and divorced within a year."
This is what happens when bad luck crashes weddings.
Tumbling Into The Sunset
"I work at a golf course with a lot of history behind it. We do wedding venues inside the clubhouse and the actual ceremony is held outside by the historic water fountain and large pond."
"First problem was the weather. I live in the high desert and it was very warm. A solid 90 degrees that day and it was also pretty windy. So everyone's outside, no umbrellas, no ezups."
"The next problem, and probably the worst, was the golf cart incident. The bride and groom wanted to 'ride into the sunset' on one of our golf carts. Drive around a little bit on the golf course. To be fair, it is beautiful on the course during sunset. However the cart had somehow gotten a nail in the tire, tire went flat, battery on the cart went crazy and the cart ended up freaking out. It came to an complete stop from 15mph to zero. The wheels and mechanisms locked up, almost seizing. Both the bride and groom (fairly overweight mind you) both fell out and rolled over a few times. They were totally okay, just a few bruises and perhaps a bruised ego or two. So retrieving that cart was fun."
"And last but not least, the power inside the clubhouse went out to do the high winds. There was no after party available. Only the cake was cut, hardly any food was given out. Yeah, not a great day to cover for someone on your day off."
"I was not born yet, but my parents rented the observation deck on the Hancock building in Boston for their reception. Tallest building in the city, beautiful view. My dad pored over historic weather charts to figure out what day was statistically most likely to be nice out. Day of the wedding comes and of course, thick fog unlike anything they'd ever seen before. Couldn't see a thing out the windows of the room they had picked specifically for the view."
"Worked out well though, they were happily married for nearly 30 years before cancer took my dad's life a few years ago."
"There's one other funny anecdote from that wedding: The wedding was held in Kings Chapel, which is an incredibly historic church here in downtown Boston that's somewhat of a major tourist attraction. To close that on a weekend afternoon for a wedding, it turns out, was not very expensive. The tourists waiting outside to see the church didn't know that, though, and someone started the rumor that my parents were incredibly wealthy, maybe even Kennedys. As a result, there were tons of people taking photos of them when they left the ceremony. Not sure if any of them ever figured out that my parents were most certainly not rich or famous."
"I was best man at my sister in laws wedding (stepped in for the brother of the groom, that's another story entirely)."
"For a whole year of planning all the bride (SIL) wanted was a dove release while they said handwritten vows to each other. Very small, non denominational (most of the family are atheist anyway) wedding."
"Day arrives (early summer) and something is off with the bird handlers. They show up a bit late and are sourcing help from the wedding party to get everything in line. When the time comes to say their vows I help the handler carry the chest with the doves in it over to what is to be the altar where the bride and groom are standing."
"Vows are just about wrapping up and the handler gives ME the signal to open the chest. I open it and see 20-30 DEAD DOVES IN THE CRATE!!!! I immediately close it to try and limit who knows what happened. Too late. The look of horror on the bride's was all that was needed. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer everyone up but by the end of the reception the entire wedding party had organized and filed animal cruelty complaints on the handler. It was all anyone could focus on."
Tragic losses unfortunately befell leading up to or at a couple's nuptials.
The Wedding Guest Who Left Too Soon
"When I was 6 or 7 I went to a cousin's wedding. Everything was fabulous for little me, so much sugar everywhere, basically heaven. The reception was in a big community center that was reserved for the occasion. Went to the girls' bathroom, passing by the men's room to see my uncle on the floor. Went back to the main room to tell my dad my uncle was looking weird. Well, uncle had a stroke and had died."
"The bride spent the rest of the afternoon crying, and everyone except close family left."
"Bright side is the mariage is still going strong 20 years later, despite what happened that day."
A Terminal Diagnosis
"Leading up to my friends wedding his father had been battling cancer after a terminal diagnosis. And it was touch and go whether he would be well enough to attend the wedding, in the end he was too unwell to attend despite wishing that he could."
"Just as we got to the wedding reception my friend was informed that his father had just passed away. It was devastating."
"Happened to my classmate. He is successful middle level manager, divorced, about 35yo or so. Found a girl of his dreams but from a provincial poor town. The girl insisted to have the wedding in her town to show off her 'success.' The wedding is crashed by her old friends including male friends who are not that sophisticated and have some tense feelings towards the successful groom from the city. Somebody starts a fight in the middle of wedding, groom is trying to stop it and got stabbed in the back. Died right there. And he was my classmate."
An Unfortunate Trespassing
"The wedding was at a state park that's famous for its giant gorge/waterfall. I don't know whose idea this was, but someone suggested a photo overlooking this gorge and everybody was game. The wedding party went around a stone security barrier and the maid of honor literally fell off the cliff to her death. It was like 500+ feet."
With a lot riding on a wedding to go off without a hitch, the mounting pressure is one where something is surely to buckle.
And because wedding guests are usually inebriated and high on the buzz of celebration, they throw caution to the wind and make some choices they wouldn't make under normal circumstances.
People's ill-advised actions can have regretful consequences, but no one expects death to be an outcome.
Fortunately, the weddings I've attended or heard about from friends were not as catastrophic as the anecdotes mentioned above.
While the Redditors' stories are sorrowful, it gives me a sense of relief these devastating examples are rare occurrences.
Sometimes I think back to a teacher I had when I was a kid who demanded to know whether any of us were "raised in a barn" in response to crappy behavior. Namely littering. She hated littering. Can you blame her? It's a horrible habit and some people do it with no sense of shame. She dedicated much of her time to telling students to pick up after themselves and dispose of things properly. For that, I'm thankful.
But why didn't anyone else get the memo? The trash I see on the streets is obscene.
People had lots of thoughts to share after Redditor SneakyStriedker876 asked the online community,
"What seemingly uncivilized thing is commonplace in society?"
"We delight in the deaths of others as long as we feel it was justified. But when the reverse happens we act all high and mighty like we wouldn't engage in the same behavior."
"Slaughtering each other..."
"Slaughtering each other via warfare to solve political differences. It's standard policy worldwide."
Indeed it is. And it seems impossible to stop.
"Littering. Especially dropping cigarette butts on the ground/flicking them out the window.
The world is not your personal ashtray/garbage bin."
Every now and then I find new trash in my yard and I am constantly amazed by how nasty people can be.
"Mobbing someone because of their opinion or for a comment they made a long time ago, even if that time was yesterday."
"Xenophobia. The fact that racism and racial violence still exist is an indicator that we're still tribal primates in fancy clothes."
And it makes no sense! It's not based in reality. We are truly a tribal species.
"Shouting while arguing, refusing to listen to the opinions of others, basically the inability to debate and maintain proper communication."
"Letting people die..."
"Letting people die of curable conditions simply because they can't afford healthcare."
Probably the biggest reason why much of the Western world looks at the United States with shame in their eyes.
"Parents forcing their kids to hug family/friends despite the kid being uncomfortable doing it. They feel uncomfortable for a reason."
"During the holiday season..."
"During the holiday season, customers take products off of our online fulfillment carts. Y'all have legs. Get your own."
"Using phone speakers..."
"Using phone speakers in public. I don't care what you and your friend think about that restaurant, or how much that Spotify jam speaks to you. Nobody else wants to hear it."
We truly need to stop all of these, don't you think?
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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I love presents. I try to hide my enthusiasm, and I do my best to appease the greater public by saying "it's the thought that counts." But that is a WHOLE lie. I don't just love gifts, I love great gifts. And if you go rogue from my lists, please keep a receipt. It's just plain rude to divert from what the recipient has requested.
This thought process has emerged from experience. I have received some trash presents over the years and now I'm too old to pretend you just went crazy while shopping. Like... "do you even know me?!"
Redditor u/sulemannkhann wanted to hear all about the presents some of us have received that we prayed, came with a receipt, by asking:
What's the worst birthday gift you ever got?
Have we met? That is an actual question I asked a gift giver once. (Who shall rename nameless) Football tickets. FOOTBALL TICKETS?! Who? What? I can't.
Looks FamiliarBroad City Wow GIF by Comedy CentralGiphy
"My own scarf. Yes, that's right, my mother went into my room took my only scarf, wrapped it and gave it to me like it was a new scarf."
"Thought I was getting a bike for my 15th birthday but my foster parents announced that they were sending me to a group home after living with them for 11 years. Devastation! That place was a wake up call. More independence then at my foster home but those kids had it really really bad, 12 year old heroine addicts, abuse... what the entire hell! I hurried up, graduated from high school at 16 and got the hell out of that place. I turned out ok, work in the legal field, live in Las Vegas. I did forgive my foster parents before they died."
The Forgotten One
"My brother and I worked for a farmer one summer, and he paid us with a used car. At the end of the next year, my brother graduated high school, so my parents paid me out for my half of the car, and that was his graduation gift. I gave them all a big discount compared to what it was worth. So like $500 for my share of a $2500 car."
"2 years later, and I needed $50 for some graduation fees, so I borrowed it from my mom until I could get to the bank. (Before mobile banking and ATMs everywhere.) Later, when my mom is telling me they invited all their friends over for a 'graduation' party, I asked if they had gotten a gift for me. "Well I gave you fifty bucks."
"I paid it back the next day, and she didn't blink. The 'graduation party' was just my parents friends, who said congratulations to me, but it wasn't really for me. A few years later, my little sister graduated, she got a car. They bought a used car for her, and our other little sister got the same when she graduated. My parents are mostly nice, and I never felt like they singled me out at birthdays or anything. Just my graduation seemed like I turned invisible."
Office Party Fail
"HR complaint from two subordinates fighting over how to throw me a surprise birthday party."
"I've never worked in an office environment, but the stories I've heard of people being required to buy a cake for the whole office and to celebrate their birthday with their coworkers would be enough to keep me in blue collar work for life, were it not for the fact that I love being active and working with my hands and could never sit at a desk all day anyway."
Basicslaw school finals GIFGiphy
"My Asian mom's gift was "no extra Kumon homework after school homework" so my birthday gift was that I didn't get extra homework from her."
Regifting is trash behavior. Do better. I'd rather you just say I forgot. Or... I just don't care for that much. But regifting? No.
"Stomach flu and my first ever period, at the same time. I think it was my 13th birthday."
"Omg, exact same story for me. It was my 13th birthday and my family took us kids to visit our relatives in Subsaharan Africa for the first time. I was sick, jetlagged, overheated and riding down a bumpy road in a Jeep driven by my dad in the complete darkness. We had just eaten at a restaurant where I found a giant scarab beetle in the bottom of my soup bowl. I have flashbacks to this day."
"My grandparents have been gifting me (and my brother) the same set of three vice grips for almost 10 years. Collectively we have 60 vice grips. I don't know if they bought a pallet of them, or where they are coming from. GET A GRIP GRANDMA!"
"I had a friend who's father was famous for doing Christmas shopping at the last minute. One year she complained that she went downstairs on Christmas morning and found, sticking out of her stocking, a spatula. Her birthday was a few days after telling that story, so myself and her friends all decided to get together and get her spatulas for her birthday, as a gag gift."
"Well, when it was our birthdays she retaliated. Which lead to a counter-offensive. And soon a new tradition was formed. And guys, I have so many spatulas now. Everything from dollar store cheap plastic, to hand-carved spatulas, a golden spatula, and even a replica of the famous Malaysian fighting spatula."
"I've got seasonal spatulas. As in, today it's time to pack away the Christmas spatulas and bring out the heart-shaped Valentine's day ones, followed by the bunny-shaped Easter ones. We've also been passing around this clip from the Weird Al Yankovic movie UHF. "Spatula City, we sell spatulas, and that's all!"
Their ultimate whack-a-doo move...
"A pair of homemade custom pajamas. Only problem was that they weren't made yet. It was just the fabric and a promise to make them for me. I had to give the fabric back and I never got the pajamas."
"Nothing legal just at our wedding they gave us a card that basically said 'have some land.' When the dust settled I asked what they thought we would do with it, they said build a home. I said ok, gonna need legal ownership for like building a house. They said sure we will get right on that. Then they decide to sell out and retire and never mentioned our wedding 'gift' again."
Gross...Disgusted Steve Carell GIFGiphy
"My grandma got me a hairbrush with a plastic horse head handle. The horse head was all chipped up and there was hair in the brush."
"My Godfather sent me a Birthday card each year which said, he paid 100 bucks to a bank account which I was supposed to get, when 16yo. He then got into alcohol, used all the money and died."
Oh for God sake, why even bother giving anything at all? Lint rollers, used brushes, homemade pjs... y'all ever hear of a gift card? Just put five bucks on it and call it a day. You can't hide cheap, so stop trying.
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I'm still on the fence about this whole extraterrestrial situation. I need more proof. Now I'm not naive enough to think that in this vast, endless universe only the human race exists. I just need proof, tangible, solid, didn't see it from my trailer through beer goggles proof.
I also need proof about the afterlife, another out there topic. Truth be told, I've never been that into this whole conversation. I've got enough daily problems on this planet, let alone worrying about making Will Smith's biggest hits into documentaries and not just popcorn/comedy space farce.
But let's compare thoughts...
Redditor u/ValencikHannibal197 wanted to discuss life beyond this planet, what do we really think? They asked:
What's the best theory on UFOs or aliens you've ever heard??
I definitely wouldn't turn down an excursion to AREA 51. I'd like to poke around and get a sense of the place. I've never personally been up close and face to face with a "non-Earther." Not sure I'd like to be...
TV Truthx files monkey pee GIF by The X-FilesGiphy
"UFOs/Aliens are a cover for all of the secret projects that the government is working on. Actually stole that from the X files."
"How human birth parallels alien abductions:
- Babies are taken from their home (womb)
- They still developing sight, so they see bright lights and grey figures.
- They hear an "alien" language they don't understand.
- They suddenly feel cold after leaving their womb.
- They are in a surgery room being poked with tons of instruments.
Long story short: some people suggest that abductions are just people who had memories of their birth."
In the Mind
"I just don't think anyone will ever see this. But I think that UFO's are the projection of our unconscious collective mind. Everything that exists in reality, also exists, in our immaterial mind. Is it possible that the insides of our mind are also just one drop in the ocean of consciousness... and together we create the material reality were in, simply by experiencing it in a real way, inside-out through our senses."
"My father was an aircraft mechanic and fabricator for test and spy aircraft for the USAF. He spent 75-85 working with test aircraft. He said that when they were going to do a test, that could possibly be seen by the public, they would make a betting pool on how many UFO reports local authorities and flight towers received."
Under the Seasci-fi ufo GIFGiphy
"I like the idea that some UFOs aren't machines. Instead they are some sort of Upper-Atmosphere Jellyfish. I found the issue of Fortean Times that had this article. Here's the cover: http://ft.gjovaag.com/q/images/a/ae/FT291.jpg"
Interesting. There are some ideas we can look into. None of it proof, but possibilities. There are certainly plenty of future film ideas.
"We are like that un contacted tribe and everyone agrees not to bother us."
"I've heard it explained from a channel (idk if you know what channeling is) kinda like this. First of all, we as a species tend to freak out, shoot first and ask questions later. Most humans would have a literal psychotic break. You have to believe in vibrational energy as it relates to our consciousness."
"The aliens (certain ones) are at such a higher level that it would be jarring for us to come in close contact with. We are slowly getting there but it's a process. Like 2012, end of the Mayan calendar, wasn't the end of the world it was the end of an energy cycle that we as the human race had never made it past before."
"Previous civilizations have been destroyed or destroyed themselves before they got this far. We passed a point where we are very unlike to destroy ourselves anymore. This doesn't mean we won't see some real bad hardships yet but we will keep progressing."
"train your eyes"Dancing GIFGiphy
"I was a firm believer in t em when I was in high school and kept googling theories and info in my spare time and during my study halls. They said their bodies were so lightweight or something that the reason why you can't see the evidence is that they disintegrate before hitting the ground."
"And then LOL it was so funny, some people would swear you could "train your eyes" to see rods... HhhahAHAHAHA. Like there were these experts. Video showed him walking around with a serious face, then pointing. And he's like, "that was one just there." "You can't see them, you have to be used to them... like me."
"I've spent many years immersed into hunting them finding them. That's why I can see them." And then one day China, who loves occult stuff, had like a lab that set up a nighttime camera to capture footage of rods at night... then realized they were normal bugs at overexposure. lol"
"The Dark Forest theory. Basically the theory that the reason we haven't made contact is because all the other civilized life in the universe/galaxy knows not to broadcast their location. They've learned that there's something awful or predatory lurking in the dark forest of our galaxy, and that it's better if they keep to themselves."
"That the universe is so vast that we haven't been discovered yet."
"This makes sense to me because traversing the distance to or from even our our stellar neighbors would require technology that is not known to us now or likely to be known by us anytime soon if it's even possible at all. To assume without evidence that aliens could possess this technology and have visited us does not meet my skeptical standards."
Back and Forthback to the future great scott GIFGiphy
"Time travel exists, and UFO sightings are actually future humans coming back to our time. That is why they are so discreet, and never openly make contact."
I hope time travel exists. Now that I'm onboard for. If aliens do exist... just come on out guys. We could probably use your help.
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