We throw around the word luck so flippantly. There are many moments in life fueled by luck and often we're so thrilled to experience it, we're just rejoicing. And that is perfectly fine. But life teaches us, we cannot afford to take luck or life for granted. Luck is an understatement when it comes to being unscathed by evil. True evil, walks among us and we interact with the worst of society on the daily and we never even fully comprehend how close to being snuffed out we are. We're all "almost" walking Dateline NBC episodes.
Redditor u/lolita-cake wanted to hear the chilling misconnections tales with life's most vile by asking who was willing to share the following.... People who had a close encounter with a murderer/serial killer, how did it go? How did you find out that person was dangerous?
Some of the following may not be suitable for younger readers. Trigger warnings below.
"holy crap, did you get the same creepy feeling from him I did?"
A childhood friend of mine had this boyfriend that nobody liked. She ran off and eloped with him. He cheated on her a bunch and there was constant drama (my wife worked with her, and we were some of her few childhood friends still in the area so we were pretty close). Like, she'd come spend the night on our couch occasionally and stuff. An obviously unhealthy and likely abusive marriage.
He seemed to mellow out when they had kids. At least there wasn't any more overt drama going on and we think he legitimately stopped cheating. He also got really religious. Something about this creeped my wife and me out and made us hate being around him even more than before. It's like when someone is pretending they're happy but you know it's not real.
Like all the overt anger and drama transformed into something more subtle. On the surface he's turned over a new leaf and is becoming a better person, but it just seems off in a way we can't quite articulate. We tried to be happy for them and supportive, but once they weren't around it was like "holy crap, did you get the same creepy feeling from him I did?"
Then one day he murdered her. Their kids were at a friend's house at the time. There was evidence that he'd been planning this for over a year. He's in prison for life now.
We learned not to ignore any red flags or intuitive creeped-out feelings about people after this. Especially about people married to someone we care about. frumpy_teapot
Do Math not Meth....
I was in high school with this dude who had a reputation for being very hyper and crazy. A lot of people didn't like him but he was not an outcast. For some reason he liked me, and would occasionally ask me to help him with math which I did.
He later moved to another school and I didn't think of him much again. Until he showed up on the news for beheading a dog and carrying its head around in public. Turns out he had also held an autistic man hostage in his apartment and tortured him, all of this was done on a meth fueled rampage. asap-curry
Several years back, I used to work with a guy we'll call James. I never felt unsafe around him, but I don't think he was entirely there mentally. A few years after I quit working there, I ran into my old boss and was talking with him for a bit. Turns out, James had killed his wife, fled the scene, and barricaded himself in a barn. Police surrounded the barn, and he had no way of escaping. When police entered the barn, he pointed a gun at a officer, and the police opened fire on him, killing him. The gun he pointed at police didn't even have any bullets in it. thegreatestsnowman1
This one isn't as dramatic but still kinda freaky.
When I was in high school (uk) there was this guy who just hated me. So damn much. I don't even know why. He was the definition of roadman and just made my life hell whenever he saw me with his bullying. But whatever. He was just a bully with a stupid perm. I could deal.
Later on in year 10 he ended up getting arrested for attempted murder.
Wonder if killing me ever crossed his mind. colespot
When I was in high school/early uni, I had a stalker. We had briefly worked together at a restaurant and he asked me out at one point when I was fifteen and he was twenty. I turned him down and for the next six years he would pop up intermittently to harass me and my then-boyfriend. He would message me to say he was jerking off to my pictures then immediately apologize and tell me he had changed, or would message my ex to meet him somewhere so they could fight (my ex who, for the record, had never met him and did not ever go fight).
Last year, my stalker made the news for committing the first murder of 2019 in our city. I don't know the details, but according to the news he stabbed a friend and then fled, only to be caught soon after waiting for public transit (he was never the sharpest). My ex and I were broken up by that point and boy was that a weird way to reconnect after ~4 months of little contact. It still freaks me out to know that he was capable of murder and that it could have been me or my ex. brighteyeswhitelies
It was 1989....
It was 1989, my dad was driving down a road late at night. He lived in Florida. As he was driving, he saw a woman on the side of the road trying to hitch hike. My dad, being kindhearted, slowed down to give her a ride.
As he slowed down, he had a chill down his spine and had the worst feeling he ever felt. He did not pick up that woman.
That woman was named Aileen Wournos. She killed a man on that road later in the day.
My little brother exists today because my dad chose to not pick that woman up. Reddit
I'm in the medical field. A few years ago I was on a forensic psychiatry rotation and went with the psychiatrist to do an assessment at the prison. There was a man there who had been convicted with undeniable evidence that he had brutally raped and murdered a woman. We were there to try to determine whether or not he qualified as a "Dangerous Offender" - in the Canadian legal system this means someone at very high risk of re-offending. In practice this meant we were trying to determine whether he qualified as "psychopathic" - meaning someone who does not experience empathy.
Probably a Psychopath.....
So during the assessment he was friendly, extremely relaxed, casual, and even charming. When asked about specifics of the murder he would brush them off or just make very vague statements. At other times he would just smile or say things like "do you really think I could do something like that?" If I had just met him on the street he probably would have seemed like a very nice guy but being aware of his offense he came across as incredibly unnerving.
TL:DR - met man who was probably a psychopath. He was charming and superficially a nice guy but somehow creepy and unsettling. OGilligan
A Little Different.
I went to school (elementary - high school) with a guy who showed up at his sister's apartment and brutally murdered her for seemingly no reason at all. I believe he stabbed her multiple times.
In school he was always a little "different" but was always nice. I had even hung out with him on several occasions at my house, riding dirt bikes, etc. He was in the church youth group with me. He was really into punk music and heavy metal. I think he started smoking pot and drinking towards the end of high school. But that's all fairly normal. There was nothing about him that ever came across as someone who would one day snap and murder his closest family member.
His sister was a very sweet girl. The saddest part was that her 20 month old son was asleep in his crib in the other room.
Pretty sure he was the one that called the police and turned himself in. ExistentialCircus
A Bad Apple...
Many years ago I worked for a large corporation. I became friendly with a couple of the secretaries who were around my age and we would go out, have lunch, hang out on weekends occasionally. The one girl had tremendous self-confidence and was a go-getter and I really admired how unafraid she was to do anything. I wished I had only a tenth of her charisma and fearlessness.
At least twenty-ish years go by and in that time social media, (FaceBook), became a thing and she was living a great life. She was successful at her corporate career and then changed careers and was also successful there. Got married, had children, big house, got divorced, but still seemed to be doing really well.
One morning I'm watching the news and there's a story about a cop who was shot and killed by his (estranged) girlfriend and the guy was on his cell phone with his daughter when it happened. It was a headliner for a while however, it took a couple of days before I connected the dots and realized the woman who shot and killed her boyfriend, (the retired cop), was this girl from way back when whom I had admired and envied so much. purplesafehandle
I was an addict actively using in the area the Seminole Heights Serial killer was active in. I regularly popped into the McDonalds he worked at to use their ATM or bathroom, and one time he personally (with three other female employees) yelled at me to get out of their bathroom. It was less than 5 minutes from my drug dealers house and his MO at the time was to shoot randomly into cars. I regularly waited in mine 30+ minutes to pick up. He was caught and I saw it on the news while taking my meds at my rehab, told the nurses the whole story! Emma_Stoneddd
There was a time when kidnappings were happening in my home country. I encountered one of the kidnappers at 6 years old, who, true to the stereotype, offered me candy. Lucky for me, the only candy that has ever and can ever entice me to be stupid is Twizzlers. Lucky for me, he only had Nerds and Starburst. I ran off and told him no thanks.
He picked up another boy that night. He killed him. If he'd had Twizzlers, I'd have paused for at least more than the 15 seconds for him to close the distance. Would I have gone with him for a box? I don't know. Do I question my folks letting me walk home at 6? Kind of. It was 5 minutes from school and things were hard.
I think about it all the time. That poor kid who probably liked Starburst. RealDegeneracy
It was my biological dad's 30th birthday and we decided to throw him a surprise party and invited a bunch of people from his work. My brother and I were in our room playing on the Sega Genesis because it was all adults and we just wanted to stay out of their way. While we were playing together, a dude comes in and sits on our bed to watch us play. He said his name was Danny and asked us a bunch of weird questions. "Do you take the bus to school? How old are you? What's your favorite food?" He gave us a bad vibe and just seemed off somehow.
Like he was TOO interested in what we were doing. My mom comes in and sees him in there with us and tells us to go watch movies in her room so my brother and I say goodbye and go to her room instead. A couple months later, my parents were watching the news and Danny is on the TV. He ended up being Daniel Conohan Jr, The Hog Trail Killer. He killed over a dozen homosexual men in our area and had tortured them and left them tied to trees in the woods to die. Vaaca_Del_Muerte
I took a class offered by my local municipality for unemployed young adults. They taught us Digital Marketing and basic web design, and at the end of the class, they were supposed to get us jobs. ANYWAY, a few weeks after that class finished, I saw one of the best students in that class on the TV, being held by police. He had killed his 2 yo by beating her to death for crying. I couldn't believe it! He was very calm and quiet and excelled at everything we did in that class. Never crossed my mind he would do something like that. aballofunicorns
Not my own story but some family friends of ours had an experience with the zodiac killer. They were together in their car on lovers lane or whatever the spot was called where couples went to hook up. The wife got a weird feeling in her gut and begged the husband to leave. He was kind of upset because he was in town for one night from the military so this was their one night together. Finally she convinced him to leave. They told the only other couple at the spot that they were leaving because at the time the zodiac was known to be active so people kept an eye out for each other. Years later the zodiac wrote into the newspaper detailing one of his killings on lover lane.
He described the exact car and said there were two couples left and he was going to take both out before one of the couples went up to the other and gave them a heads up before leaving. Right when they left he killed the couple that stayed. Every detail of the night from the date to the cars to the time of night matched up perfectly so they knew it was them who left just in time. jmill0420
Years ago I went with my Mum to visit a friend of hers. Sat bored out of my mind while they sipped their tea cups and waffled on all afternoon. The friend's rather weird adult son, quite a bit older than me was also there in the house but didn't really engage much, I barely spoke more than a few polite sentences to him.
My parents didn't tell me till years later but he started stalking me. They would hear all sorts of sounds at night. I had no idea, just carried on as usual. Biked to school, stayed after for gymnastics, biked to the pool for swimming, etc. I'm not sure how long it lasted.
FFWD a few years, a young girl in our town went missing after school. A week or so later they found her body dumped. You guessed it, it wound up being the son of my Mums' friend. That's when they told me what had happened. Apparently my Mum finally caught him and a word was had with his parents. MamaBear4485
When I was a kid my mom was stalked by an ex who eventually killed her, his own 3-year-old daughter, and himself. I knew this guy for 1.5-2 years prior to the murders, but I remember the first time something really struck me as 'off' about him.
I came home from school and found him in our house (he'd broken in, but I didn't know that at the time) going through things in my mom's bedroom. He was acting kind of manic, like he was ruffling through things but not actually doing anything particular and not looking or taking anything. He kept talking to me about how he thought of me as his daughter (news to me, we got along but weren't close) and blah blah emotional stuff. It was weird but he seemed volatile somehow, like he wasn't all there, so I just acted agreeable and started talking as normally as possible about the chores I needed to do before my mom got home from work and left him in the room alone. He left the house shortly after without another word.
I told my mom about it when she got home, and she was pretty disturbed. Turns out she had just broken up with him (and taken back his key to our house) earlier that day and hadn't told me yet. We realized he had broken into the house (through the garage, iirc), and at a time when he knew I would be there alone.
That was the beginning of nearly a year of stalking and several break-ins, eventually ending in him murdering her and his daughter before pulling the classic 'death by cop.' SteamboatMcGee
When I was a kid back in the 80's, a friend of mine and his friend up around the corner from me were offered money by a guy to go up the field with him. I can't remember the specifics as it's along time ago and I was very young, but I think he offered him money to pick blackberries.
My friend said no but the other boy said yes and went with him. His body was found the next day - he had been stabbed to death. He was only 8 years old. I remember the months that followed every parent was super weary about leaving any of us play on the streets.
The kids name was Kyle Curran. It happened in Waterford, Ireland. throwaway57373662
This isn't an exciting story, but I used to work at an on campus hotel for a Big 12 University. When classes weren't in session, the entire building would be locked down-- only the desk clerk could let you in or out.
We had a spree killer stay with us for almost a week. I was interviewed by the police to see if I had any information that would help them. I said he used doors like a normal person. Barflyerdammit
My dad and step mom at the time allowed a guy to move in with them after he got out of prison for a non violent crime. At first, he seemed grateful to them and would help them out by doing chores or helping my dad in his shop. After being around awhile the guy seemed to like me and would flirt occasionally. He had this fake persona of a Christian trying to turn his life around and after awhile I caught on to his crap.
After months of my parents treating him as one of their own, he left them with debts and moved out while they were at work one day. After hearing of this and other inappropriate things he said about me and our family in general, I'd had enough and took it upon myself to message him and tell him what exactly I thought and I did not mince words. Two months later, he shot a man at point blank range in the face and walked away as if nothing had happened. I still think about that from time to time and how lucky my family and I are. jadednicole
A neighbor during my childhood was convicted over a triple murder. She had been in an argument with some people about a horse she owned. My sister had had sleep-overs with her daughter up until her dogs had killed and eaten another neighbors dog. Her partner, also convicted, intimidated the family who's dog was killed and my parents banned us from going to their house. One day they didn't live there anymore and soon after the murders came to light. AussieArlenBales
All of us have fears which some might call irrational.
Up to and including ghosts, witches, monsters.
But more often than not, reality can be far scarier than the supernatural.
And there are very few people indeed who don't have a memory of a moment when they were truly and genuinely scared.
And not by an otherworldly encounter, but by things that could quite literally happen to anyone.
Redditor GodhimselfUwU was curious to hear the scariest experiences people have lived through, leading them to ask:
"What’s the scariest non-supernatural thing that ever happened to you?"
"I was 14, alone at my grandmas house around midnight."
"She was across the street at the bar she owned."
"I was playing games on her computer, about 15 feet from one of the windows facing the backyard."
"All of a sudden the glass from that window shatters, and I ran to one of the bedrooms."
"I can hear my name being called."
"Eventually I see my grandma's ex-boyfriend enter the living room where the computer is."
"He keeps saying my name."
"I’m scared sh*tless, but I walk out and confront him."
"He says my grandma stole his ID and that’s what he came for, as he’s taking money from my grandmas purse."
"He looks f*cked up on something."
"I forget how he leaves but when he does I call the bar and people come over looking for him."
"They didn’t find him."
"About a year later he did it again, and I was once again alone there."
"Except this time instead of breaking a window he decides to try to kick the side door in."
"I’m just there chilling when out of nowhere I hear the loudest bangs coming from the side of the house and I instantly knew what was happening."
"I immediately called the bar and they sent a bunch of people over before he could make it in."
"He apparently tried to jump from one of her sheds into the alley next to her house and broke his leg."
"He went to prison."- nfreshn
They're coming right for us!
"Two bison charging right toward me down a narrow wooded path in Yellowstone when I was 12."- pcc2Open Range Running GIF by Reconnecting RootsGiphy
Uncomfortable in new surroundings.
"My sister has mental health issues."
"We were in a foreign country, driving across mountains on a one lane dirt road with no guardrails."
"She had a complete mental breakdown and threatened many times to drive off the edge."
"To this day, my mom swears my sister wouldn't have done it."
"All I say is, 'you weren't in the car'."
"'You have no idea'."- BlorengeJulius
Lost in the woods.
"Getting lost on 350 acres of woods in southeast Georgia."
"Was found about 6 hours later."
The dog found me hours before the people did.- No_Regrats_42Scared Woods GIF by Brat TVGiphy
A near death experience.
"Was working as a linemen tasked to replace a 16m wooden power pole which requires climbing up to untie the lines from the isolators."
"I checked if the pole had any rot beforehand, climbed up, untied the lines, climbed down, as I was packing my tools up , the pole fell from its own."- LimaRadek
He wasn't who he claimed to be.
"A man claiming to be a meter reader was in our yard and tried the back door AFTER trying the front."
"It was unlocked because there was a field behind us and our gate had a lock, that he somehow got by."
"The meter reader man was nearly eaten by our Great Dane who was dumb and peaceful, except for when she laid eyes on him."
"Our other dog also wanted to kill him and he was up on our trampoline begging us to call the dogs off, which we, my then 11 year old sister and I, refused to do and went to get our dad, who worked from home."
"The guy escaped while we got our dad and my dad let the police know what happened."
"The real meter reader man came the next week."- ApplesintheorchardDog Bouncing GIF by AFV PetsGiphy
Had no idea what they were witnessing.
"I guess watching a loved one have a seizure when I didn’t understand what it was."
"Legit thought I witnessed a death."
"Scary stuff."- Peppapigisgodly
Always look both ways.
"I got hit by a car while in a crosswalk a few months back."
"Had a split second where I saw him coming and realized what was about to happen."
"I thought I was going to die."- jolalolalulu
Big Sister to the Rescue.
"Saved my sisters life."
"We were boating and my parents just kinda assumed we’d be ok with them only out a couple hundred feet."
"I was about 17 and she was about 7."
"I’m laying there chilling and see her slip and fall into the water and just straight up sink."
"Ran over, dove in and pulled her to shore."
"She spit up a bunch of water and was fine but that experience rocked me to my core."
"Not a super crazy story but almost seeing a sibling die has always stuck with me."
"I’ve broken almost every bone in my body, I died one time and was in a coma for a little bit but for some reason this one stuck with me."- Present-Trip5231
Often, an experience that left us scared does make for a good story down the line.
Though whether it was a good enough story to make having gone through the experience worth it, is debatable.
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Having to work for a living is hard work.
Some jobs come with difficulty and two extra sides of stress.
So the last thing people need is unwarranted hate.
I'm so glad I work from home. Writing alone.
I have issues with me, but that I can deal with.
I do hate internet issues.
But that is warranted.
Redditor PM_ME_URFOOD wanted to talk about the jobs where a ridiculous amount of vitriol is all part of a days work. They asked:
"What profession gets an unjustified amount of hate?"
Waiting tables was always the bane of my existence. Customers are rude. Staff is rude. It never ends.
Filthy HoursFail Just For Laughs GIFGiphy
"Trash men. They’re looked down on as dirty and uneducated, but they do a hard job that is absolutely critical to our public health."
"Youth sports officials. I umpire baseball as a hobby and the way parents act is deplorable."
"The parents on the other hand deserve loads of hate sometimes. I was a coach for soccer and volleyball while I was in the Air Force. You would have loved to be a sports official for our leagues at our base. If a parent got sh**ty they are immediately ejected, no questions, and reported to whoever is their higher authority. It almost never happened."
Behind the Counter
"Any customer (client/patient) facing job. They get the abuse that stems from managements decisions, mistakes and incompetence."
"I did customer service for automotive companies at a call center for years. People get so unhinged, between dealerships, management, people calling into the wrong department, angry customers who were itching for a fight over a rental car. The job paid for five free therapy sessions a year, but honestly, it would take every ounce of restraint not to break some days."
"You aren't allowed to defend yourself or hang up, you can't transfer them to supervisors for a call, you technically work for a third party company that exists to keep the customer from ever actually speaking to the corporation. It was the worst job I've ever had, and that's coming from someone who used to work at a seafood processing plant."
"Food service. The workers have to eat too, you know."
"Working fast food sucked. Not because the job was hard. But because people were *icks. For like, no reason. Working in an actual kitchen also sucked. Not because the work was hard, but because you never did it quick enough and your boss was a *ick for like no reason. But at least you didn't deal with customers."
Too much stress...Jim Carrey Omg GIFGiphy
"Defense attorneys. People hate them because they defend violent criminals. However, as one lawyer put it, their job is not just to defend these people; their job is also to make sure that the cops did their job correctly."
I've always wondered about defense attorneys. How do they reconcile their morals?
They're Smart Toowill birth control GIFGiphy
"I live in Germany and currently in my (hopefully) last semester of university to become a pharmacist (4 years of university, one practical year and three exams of state required). A lot of people here think pharmacists are only cashiers and don’t know we get a scientific education. And God help me if I question a doctor's decision."
"I usually just lurk as a guest, but I made a Reddit account just for this. Cooks for public schools. They are constantly overworked, underpaid, and disrespected. Most schools have only a few ovens and microwaves, so school chefs have to either jam unsafe amounts of frozen food into ovens and microwaves, which is a giant fire hazard, or work non-stop from early morning."
"Plant breeders and plant geneticists. Imagine you're a plant nerd and you spend your life studying genetics so you can figure out how to improve food crops. Like, to make them yield more, taste better, be healthier, survive drought, etc. But on the internet, you're apparently trying to poison the world and control the food supply."
"Veterinarians. My doctors CONSTANTLY get yelled at or called heartless when, for instance, we refer them to a hospital more suited to care for the animal than us. Like bro we didn't just tell you know we are giving you options and trying to ensure you seek the proper care. Don't call me a heartless b**tard for that crap."
No Fun InvolvedAngry Neil Flynn GIFGiphy
"Janitors. Trash-related work. Sewage workers. Plumbing."'
I feel for everyone in these jobs. They deserve better.
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Short of having a shopping addiction, no one actually likes spending money on stuff.
Why would you ever willingly give it away? It's your money!
Which might be why it feels so bad when you have to spend money of something that should be free from the beginning. People/ corporations are going to chase that cheddar, though, so there's little you can do besides complain, which frankly might be the best thing the internet is for.
"What should be free?"
Let's get these out of the way first...No, let's get this first one out of the way first.
Hidden fees are the worst.
Hidden. F***ing. Fees.
"Transaction/processing fees when you order a digital product online. Such as a concert ticket, where you pay 6 euro extra while you pay online, and have to print the ticket yourself."
"Or processing fees to pay bills that you need. Duke energy charges a $7 processing fee for you to pay your energy bill. Like wtf."
Pay To Pee
"Public bathrooms! The amount of human piles of poop around because the homeless have no where to relieve themselves!"
"Live in a very tourist-y part of the U.K., all public toilets charge and most cafes/pubs/libraries won’t let people use their toilets. As someone who lives here year round it’s really frustrating and doesn’t seem to make sense."
Want A Better Society? Educate Them.
"College. Or at the very least, college APPLICATIONS. If you're gonna require it for most careers, atleast make it accessible for people. And I just think it's stupid that people have to pay to get rejected."
"Oh god I hate that so much. Same with applying to apartments it’s such a waste of money if you don’t get approved. It racks up quickly too."
It does feel grimy when "official documentation" that is "mandatory" has to be bought and paid for not by the people requiring it, but by the people needing it.
Forcing Us To Pay For Something We're Forced To Have
"ID cards issued by the government. Especially since you need them for almost every aspect of daily living."
"I'm not the biggest fan of free stuf but having to pay for a piece of paper that says "I exist" is ridiculous."
It'll never not feel bad having to pay for something we expect to be free, but it feels ten times worse when it's something you need to get by in life. As in, need to live.
Let's All Agree To Take Care Of Each Other
"All base needs up to a level. I mean stuff we need to survive, eg. power, water,... and things we are required to use to be relevant in daily life internet,..."
"Seeing how now power companies are fuel companies are having THE biggest profit in years while more and more families are pushed into bigger and bigger deths just to get by."
"Same goes for internet tbh, poor kids are just not getting by in school becasue they lack the basic stuff every other kid has to get further in life. I am not saying they need the fastest possible internet with unlimited dl, but give them so they can work for school so the vicious cycle can be broken."
We Need It More Than Anyone
"All mental health services. If you don’t have benefits or a VERY good paying job, they are unaffordable for how often most people really need them. At $120-160/ session even once a week is not affordable for most people these days"
A Fine Line Between Need And Want
"Drinking water, sure. But water is an expendable resource and it should honestly be more restricted when we think about cases like people watering their lawns."
Paying To Live
"Insulin. People are dying because of greedy pharmaceutical companies."
"But We're 'Pro-Life'" - Jerks
"Birth control of all kinds."
"For anyone who b*tches about spending taxpayer money, I'd ask whether it costs more to provide condoms or to house prisoners."
"Giving birth (In the us)"
"As a female US citizen the more I learn about the whole giving birth sh*t the less I want kids. My friend just had a baby, there were some complications. She is now paying off a 14k hospital bill! The lowest I have hears is 8k. 8k just to have a f-cking kid! For a country that is gung-ho about forcing women to have kids they have missed the mark completely."
Everyone is looking for their payout, and unfortunately sometimes we're the ones who have to give it to them, whether it makes sense or not.
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The worst part of having breasts is Florida.
I didn't even say large breasts. Just breasts, any breasts. Florida and breasts are mortal enemies sworn to battle one another into oblivion until the end of days.
In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is HardioGIF by VIASWEATGiphy
"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
Two Volcanosrachael ray boob sweat GIF by First We Feast: Hot OnesGiphy
"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
ExpensiveHappy Music Video GIF by DJ MustardGiphy
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
Attempted MurderBlack Woman Breast Cancer Awareness GIF by Know Your GirlsGiphy
"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
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