Admit it: You've had an argument in your head with someone in the last week or so.
It's okay. We're living in chaotic times, and while it would be nice if everyone could use those fancy, high-tech computers in their pockets for more than just looking at pretty, filtered pictures to do some actual research on a topic, we know that's never going to happen. So, how do you compose yourself when a hot-button issue arises and you know, deep down, the person you're going to argue with is...an idiot?
Reddit user, u/incognitospy3, wanted to know:
What are some tips and tricks for arguing with idiots?
Sources. Sources. SOURCES.
Expect to constantly have to steer them back to the crux of the argument, be prepared to refute any spurious sources and to back up your own facts with genuine sources.
Pick your battles because there will be many occasions where you will be told "we will just have to agree to differ" and "that's just your opinion".
Don't always expect that the idiot will understand your logic.
It's Hard, But Do Your Best
It's kinda unpopular, but be as polite and as calm as you can, intelligent people can sometimes act like idiots when arguing with idiots. This applies to the internet as well
I find a lot of "intelligent" people are only perceived as being intelligent in their own field of expertise; the "smart" ones stick to what they know while the "dumb" ones are arrogant enough to argue outside their field.
"Overall, idiots gonna idiot."
Presumably the only reason you're arguing with an idiot is because you love them. Instead of arguing, try to find common ground on something and agree not to discuss the subject further. No reason to disturb the relationship about something like an argument.
If the person you're arguing with is in a position of power over you and the argument concerns things like punishment, try to carefully lay out why you believe the punishment does not align with the action performed. Tread very lightly here, because a slip up could very well result in more punishment.
Furthermore, ensure that the subject you're discussing is something that is in fact open or logical to discuss. Try to see it from the other person's point of view, because they obviously believe that what they're doing is right for a reason. Complex imagination is a gift. Use it to your advantage in this case.
Overall, idiots gonna idiot. There's nothing you can do to solve that. But make sure that you're not an idiot back. That's something you can control.
Try To Keep Emotions Out Of It
Humor them, know the subject very very very well, and ask genuine questions. Take an interest in them. Let go of your grandiose 'right and wrong' bullsh-t for just a single moment and see the human life in front of you, with all its failings, successes, and potential.
The mind can only be changed one specific point at a time, and that point can only be successfully prevailed upon when the receiver is receiving instead of defending, the giver is giving instead of attacking.
In other words, don't argue with an idiot, because arguing is for f-cking idiots.
Also, you'll change a million more hearts and minds by example than you will by any other tack.
Source: I am an idiot, I get argued with a lot, you smart people really have no idea what you're dealing with. If you get emotionally invested, you're going to look and feel like every bit the idiot that I am.
Listen. Ask Them To Clarify What They Said.
You don't argue with them.
I had a coworker that I liked very much, but he was constantly listening to talk radio and spouting Fox News bullsh-t.
The thing was, he was smart and had a good amount of integrity. He genuinely cared about people.
So, I didn't argue with him, and I didn't contradict him, but the truth is, what he was hearing and repeating didnt bare scrutiny. If you analyze what Limbaugh or Hannity say, it simply doesn't make sense.
So I would listen. Then I I would clarify what he'd said, so he knew I wasn't dismissing him at all. Then I would be quiet and take the time to think through what he said and nail down all the fallacies. I'd find one falacy that I knew he'd probably see, or recognize, and ask him one or two questions about it. Usually, he'd start to answer and just stop as it became clear that it really didn't make sense.
Rough example: illegal immigrants just come here for welfare. They're lazy.
Are they? It seems like an enormously risky thing to undertake. People in the US won't move to a different state because of the risks. This guy had tried to get his wife's family too move to our state where the jobs were more plentiful and support would be closer, but they always balked at moving. Too hard. Too risky. Easier to just stay and complain. So, an hour later or so I'd bring up that subject. He'd finally accuse them of just being lazy for staying put. Then I'd say something like, "but, like, illegal immigrants are moving to America, and that's a lot riskier than your wife's family moving here. Why would they do that if they're lazy?" Not in a challenging way, but just posing the question.
It took a year or more of this sort of stuff, driving the wedge of his own life experience between him and talk radio. Letting him start to see how stupid he was sounding, without pointing it out.
He wasn't stupid. He wasn't an idiot. He just wanted to belong to a team. He wanted to demonstrate loyalty to that team. I just did what I could to help him see what that team was actually all about. At some point, he realized that all his "team" was doing was enslaving him with his own anger. He'd already had a heart attack in his life, why was he letting these people blow up his blood pressure with lies? BTW, the tactic of enslaving people through outrage is not just a right-wing tactic. All sorts of groups use this formula for power.
Sometimes it works, but only if you care about them, and only if you stop seeing them as an idiot.
You can't change idiots. Mainly because you think they're idiots.
Be Prepared To Play A Different Game
Think of it like playing chess with a pigeon.
Chances are, the pigeon will knock over all the pieces, sh-t on the board and then fly back to it's flock to claim victory.
Ask Questions Leading To Answers
I was going to say "Don't", but clearly that's been covered. Then I read the last guy say "Just say ok to everything and watch them self-destruct." You might actually get a little further along with this method if you implement Socratic Method and just ask them questions.
The point is not to get to a "gotcha" moment from you, but come from a place of genuine curiosity otherwise they may get defensive if they feel they're being manipulated.
Either they will wind themselves up until they figure out they really don't know what they're talking about, or you will have a better understanding of where their coming from.
Put In That Extra Work To Double, Triple, And Quadruple Check
Take time to make sure you are not the idiot.
Ahh nothing is worse than the mid argument realization that you're the one that is wrong
Give It Up For The Best...
I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and presume that you genuinely want to engage the other person, rather than just "win" the argument or feel superior.
First, and most important thing: don't call them an idiot. No one has ever changed their mind because someone called them stupid. Quite the opposite, calling someone stupid will make them become defensive, react emotionally rather than intellectually, and reject everything you are saying as a self-defense mechanism. Calling your opponent an idiot is great for making yourself feel better, but it's terrible for getting anyone else to listen to you. No one changes their mind because someone said they were stupid; they just convince themself that that person is an a--hole.
Along those lines: attack the idea, not the person. You disagree; you're aren't enemies. Discuss your problems with their belief, but try to separate it from the person themself as much as possible. This allows the other person to distance themselves from their belief and think about what you are saying without feeling defensive. Anytime you discuss "your belief" or "you think that..." or say anything that links your argument with them personally (or attack the person directly), you're reinforcing the idea that their belief is part of their personal identity, which (for them) means that they need to defend the belief in order to defend themself. Allow your opponent to separate the belief from themself, as this gives them room to consider whether the belief is wrong without feeling like to do so would mean to admit that they are personally flawed.
And third: listen to the other person. Don't just wait to talk; actually listen. Respond to what they are saying to show that you are listening, and ask questions without getting angry or combative. Debates turn into arguments as soon as one person starts to become heated, because that just makes the other person become heated, and it snowballs until you're both yelling at each other. Once that happens, you're both going to react emotionally rather than intellectually, and neither one of you will be receptive to the other.
Overall: stay level-headed, de-escalate emotions, be respectful, and let the ideas do the work.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
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For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF
Giphy
"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
Giphy
"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
Giphy
"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
Giphy
What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
Giphy
Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
Giphy
Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
Giphy
Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...