Ever feel like you're having an exceptionally weird day?
Sometimes it feels like that no matter what you do, that the universe is just out to get you. For better or worse, you find yourself in situations that are so unlikely, that some higher power has to have a hand in it.
Redditor u/GhostRxm got people to relive their weirdest days by asking, "What was your 'The universe is messing with me' moment?"
10. What are the chances of getting a bug in your ear?
"I sometimes "play hooky" from work...basically if I need a "mental health day" but can't explain that to my boss, I'll make up some other excuse to call out.
At least 75 percent of the times I've done this, I end up getting sick or injured or something which results in me actually needing to take the following day off work.
Most recent example: I called out one day and claimed I'd been struck by the stomach bug that was going around. The next morning, ready to return to work, I woke up with a goddamn bug stuck in my ear canal and had to go to the doctor to have it removed."
9. Sounds like a really bad joke
Giphy"Right after moving I was in a car accident on the freeway during rush hour. Backend of my car was crunched. While it was sitting in the parking lot of a collision center waiting to be repaired, a semi backed into the front end. The collision center was right next to a trucking company. When my husband called to tell me what had happened I thought he was joking."
8. Double dumped
"While getting dumped, I was shat on by a pigeon."
"You got dumped twice, dude"
"That's a crappy feeling"
7. Quitting is hard, good for you!
"The evening of my first day without a cigarette in 15 years I came across a full pack of smokes lying on a window ledge. Laughter ensued. I never had found even 1 discarded cigarette before. Nor since."
6. Sometimes, the universe is kind
"Back when I was a kid, I borrowed a CD of my dad's without asking, and it ended up becoming lost. We looked everywhere, but it was never found... Dad scolded me, but worse, as only a dad can do, he would tease me about it. He never forgot, and he made sure that I never forgot either.
Fast-forward ten years: my dad died unexpectedly while at work. Thankfully, the universe (or someone/something) made sure to let us know everything was going to be okay:
After we arrived home from the funeral, my mom, siblings, and I were sitting around in silent shock. It was Christmastime, so my brother thought he'd try lightening the mood by playing some Christmas music. He went into the CD cabinet, and there, sitting right in front, was the missing CD. That CD had been missing for ten years!"
5. August 2019
"August 2019.
First weekend in August i get mugged and punched on a night out. Lose my phone, wallet, keys
The same weekend my dad and second mum split up after 15 years.
The weekend after my mum goes on holiday. The first night shes away and im watching the dogs. The eldest passes away in the midnight vet as im holding her.
About 3 days before she comes home i get rushed into hospital with supposed sepsis and have surgery. Luckily i was in and out within a week.
The last weekend of August my car breaks down and costs me £300+ in repairs.
I am not leaving the house next August."
4. There was a glitch in the simulation
"A couple of months ago, I went to the drinking fountain to fill up my water bottle. Except there was no water fountain. I walked away from it, looked around the hallway, and then walked back to the area where the drinking fountain was supposed to be, but it was still gone. Thinking I was crazy, I ended up going back to my office and asking my coworkers if we'd ever had a drinking fountain there to begin with. Of course, they said that there was. I went back to the fountain a third time, and it was there, the same as always."
3. A surprise was just around the corner
Giphy"Cut off contact with a horrible ex around May of this year and last week I finally decided to clear all of her stuff out of my car. Some clothes and random junk. Got it all bagged up and tossed out. The very next day I turned a corner at the store and there she was. I haven't seen or spoken to her in six months and the day after I try to remove items that remind me of her I almost run right into her."
2. No good deed...
"It was my birthday weekend. I helped someone jump start their car in the morning. Later on, LA has the most rain it's had in 6 years, the storm drain near my house get backed up. My house gets flooded, and was the only one on the block to be affected."
1. You're right: A dog wouldn't do this
"My girlfriend cheated on me last fall which hit me really hard. Took a long time for me to feel ok with myself and gain the confidence to start dating again and trust somebody else. Fast forward to last spring I met this amazing girl and been in a relationship with her for the last couple months and even admitting being in a relationship was a huge step for me. Well, who doesn't call me up five days ago but her boyfriend asking me if I've been with her while he was away working abroad. Conclusion: I'm getting a dog"
"Which film that’s universally praised do you find utterly repulsive?"
Any Downers
"My best friend really enjoys movies that make you anxious and uncomfortable like 'Uncut Gems' and 'Good Time', but I firmly do not like those kinds of movies."
"I know it's the point, but i find no joy in the level of discomfort I feel while watching them."
"Some other honorable mentions:"
"Spring Breakers."
"High Life."
"Climax."- nuut_meg
Not Exactly Authentic
"'The Greatest Showman'."
"Mostly on the grounds that the real P T Barnum was a f*cking monster."- LostMercenary99
"'Pocahontas'."
"The real John Smith was a f*cking sick bastard and the true events most definitely weren't a love story at all."- CagedKage
pocahontas GIFGiphyWho The "Devil" Was Is Debatable...
"'The Devil Wears Prada'."
"I just wanted everyone in that movie to die in a fire."- PothierM
Tearjerker, Or Sleeping Pill?
"'The Notebook'."
"I don't know if it's universally praised but I f*cking hate it."- sara_c907
One Of The All Time Creepiest Shower Scenes...
"F*cking 'Elf'."
"Every damn Christmas."
"To be fair I can’t really stand Will Ferrel in general."- cook-isation
will farrel ross geller GIFGiphyThe Title Could Refer To The People Leaving The Theater...
"'Fast and Furious', just a terribly written extremely corny show."- tds542
Fern Gully Did It Better...
"'Avatar'."
"All day long."
'Those blue miserable tw*ts."- akbarkhan666
There Was Bound To Be One...
"I don't know about utterly repulsive, but I have a hard time seeing why everyone loves 'Citizen Kane'."
"And I understand that there was movie making before 'Citizen Kane' and movie making after 'Citizen Kane' such that it informed movie makers going forward as to how it's done, let's say, but after a certain point we, the audience, don't see that anymore, and it's just another movie."
"And then I hear people say well it highlights social hierarchy under capitalism and such, but a lot of movies do that."
"And then there's the twist at the end which is not much of a twist which is the point, I suppose, but the whole thing seemed like a letdown when I finally watched it."
'As a result while a lot of people say it's their number one movie ever or at least in their top 10, it's on my top 10 list of movies not to watch again."- emjaysea
citizen kane applause GIFGiphyWhy Not Just Do A Documentary?
"Most Biopics."
"I think it's atrocious how they create hyperreality by over romanticizing the life of a famous person."
"Out of all the awful biopics however, i despise 'Bohemian Rhapsody' the most."
"The scene where the band supposedly invents 'We Will Rock You' on the spot makes my skin crawl."
"How did that movie end up winning so many awards, despite all the plot inaccuracy's and the poor editing."
"It is really beyond me."- Biemolt
Maybe Too Realistic?
'Not utterly repulsive, but I'm in the minority for thinking that 'Nomadland''s Best Picture win was a joke."
"It was barely a movie and relied too much on performance exploitation of actual people for its thin-as-f*ck narrative."
"Honestly, it might be my least favorite BP winner of recent times, yes I'd say that even 'Crash', 'The Artist' and 'Green Book' were better."- SamwisethePoopyButt
Not To Mention That Fake Baby...
"'American Sniper'."
"Shameless piece of 'Merican' propaganda, and I couldn't help but laugh at Bradley Cooper's portrayal in the first half hour."- mos_meth
Bradley Cooper Baby GIFGiphyTruman Capote Would Agree...
"Breakfast at Tiffany's."- LucyVialli
He Did Not Have Them At Hello...
"'Jerry Maguire'."
"It was just TOO. DAMN. LONG."
"The 'Show me the money' bit was funny, but it happened early on in the film, and the rest dragged on forever."- Brilliant_Tourist400
We All Know "Moonlight" Was Better...
"'La La Land'."
"The music was utterly forgettable and the plot felt like it was written by a bunch of Hollywood executives jerking each other off."- Aviator506
Emma Stone Love GIF by La La LandGiphyNeedless to say, everyone's taste is different, and everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Meaning there's bound to be an argument at the next "movie night" you have with friends over whether to watch Citizen Kane or Spice World.
And you should feel no shame in expressing which movie you want to watch.
Or rather, "what you really, REALLY, want" to watch...
"What is the biggest design flaw of the human body?"
Would Make A Lot Of People Less Cautious
"Unable to regenerate body parts."
"You lose an arm or a leg, you can't grow a new one."
"We can grow hair and nails forever, but not body parts."- drygnfyre
And Maybe The Whole Childbirth Process While We're At It...
"The size of the average baby head vs the size of the average vagina."- Ruggiard
"The Obstetric Dilemma."
"Basically, the human body isn't built for easy birth."- strykazoid
Season 3 Baby GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyIt Isn't Terribly Practical If You Think About It...
"IMO the whole 'we put food into the only air hole we have and can choke and die if we aren’t careful' thing is a pretty big miss."- el_rico_pavo_real
"Throat has a built in flaw - we breath n swallow food through the same area."- coolguy1793B
A More Direct Route Would Be Helpful
"I like the example of the recurrent laryngeal nerve."
"It runs from the brain to the larynx."
"However, to get there it goes from the brain, down the neck, into the chest, around the aorta and then back up the chest, up the neck and then connects to the larynx."
"That's a massive detour."
"It also means a blow to the chest can damage your ability to talk."- The_Thunder_Child
GiphyNever Underestimate The Damage Teeth Can Do
"The fact that I sometimes accidentally eat the inside of my mouth."- -Grey_Area-·
He Does Have A Point
"'Nostalgia is the greatest human weakness. Second only to the neck'... -Dwight Schrute
In Plain Sight...
"In our eyes, the blood vessels supplying our photoreceptors are in front of them and therefore in the way of the incoming light."
"Probably not the biggest and there are some good justifications for it being set up this way."
"But it still must be such a pain for the brain constantly having to edit these out when forming our visual experience."- oliwoggle
Loop Eyes GIF by Doze StudioGiphyMaybe Just Every Illness And Ailment?
"A stroke."
"My aunt had one when she was 31 and the healthiest person in the world."
"Ran an aerobics class at the Y, just perfect perfect health."
"Went to Pizza Hut with her the night before, next day, massive stroke, almost died, critical surgery, twenty years later she still has trouble speaking."
"It sucks."
"There is no reason that should’ve happened."
"Perfectly healthy person damaged for the rest of her life."
"She’s still amazing and lovely and my favorite person but damn is that annoying."- Jibber_Fight
"You can kinda just die at any moment from a brain aneurysm, even if you're perfectly healthy."- mcsteve87
All Our Bones Could Be Stronger...
"For upright walking creatures, why is our head so (relatively) delicate?"
"Trip a single time and you're blinded, have brain damage, bit off your tongue, or lost teeth."- kmn493
Episode 15 Pain GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyThey Arguably Also Weren't Built For Stairs...
"Our knees for sure."
"They just weren't built to last past 40 years."- TopShelfCrazy
A Couple More On/Off Switches Would Be Helpful As Well...
"That we cannot delete or sort unwanted/not needed info and memories from our brains."- PickAName616
As the saying goes, "nobody's perfect."
Or rather, "no BODY is perfect."
Otherwise, we'd all stop complaining about aching limbs or worrying about choking or other injuries.
