The only thing that's guaranteed in life (besides taxes) is death. It's safe to say that we all have most likely flirted with death at some point in our lives, and some of us came a little closer to kicking the bucket than others. Here are some of the most insane near-death experiences that Reddit has to offer.
u/ITotallyDoNotWhale asked: [Serious] What is your "I was THAT close to dying" moment?
Theatre is a deadly sport.
Was a theatre tech in high school. One of the techs was showing the new girl how to use the fly system (a hanging pipe that you hang things on, clouds, airplane, etc). When you bring the fly down, you yell "fly down!" and everyone who hears it echoes it, so everyone quickly knows it's coming down. You also drop it slowly.
Well, I was working center stage, right under the fly. She didn't say "fly down!" until she had already dropped it, and she just let it fall really fast until it was hip height from the ground.
If I would have stepped forward or back, instead of right, I would be dead. Luckily I stepped right and just stared at her. She knew.
Where's that Disney magic when you need it?
GiphyWhat I remember: I'm 11 yrs old, playing outside, and it starts to rain. I wake up in the hospital 3 days later.
What happened: Lightning struck the ground next to me. I was knocked unconscious, thrown into the air, my heart stopped, paramedics used CPR and a defibrillator to bring me back.
I'm all grown up now with the only long term effect being I have no memories of that summer before being struck. Which kind of sucks because that was the summer we went to Disneyland.
Ouch.
A car almost drove me over intentionally when I was cycling. I sprinted out of there as fast as possible and to this day I have no idea why he did it.
Oh my god. I have a friend who was cycling on a side road in my rural town. Someone rear ended him, then slammed on the breaks before running him over. Then they just reversed and went on their way without stopping at all. Had he been badly injured he would've been in A LOT of trouble and might have even died.
Enjoy every day.
05/10/2019 I was rear ended by a dump truck. In a coma for 42 days and now I can't walk. I'm immuno suppressed and breathing is compromised so who knows what the future holds. Life is good people so enjoy every day.
Sh*t, I remember when I was almost rear ended by a dump truck. I looked in my rear vision mirror to see one coming at me at like 80kph while I was stopped in a traffic queue. I just stared and assumed I was about to die. He slammed on his brakes and swerved into the next lane, tyres smoking. I feel so lucky. I wrote an email to the company outlining what happened and telling them to thank the driver for his quick reaction.
I hope it gets better for you, mate.
That must have been terrifying.
GiphyI was 8 years old and it was mid summer and it felt great out in the mornings, so I decided to go do kid stuff outside. I started climbing a tree in my front yard up to the point I had always gone to, but for some reason that day I decided to go as high as I possibly could. The tree was on the part of my lawn past the sidewalk and against the street, and at this point I'm 25 feet above the pavement.
I go to grab a branch that was too brittle and fall all 25 feet onto the concrete, snapping my left wrist (CF), getting holes and tears on my lungs, and rupturing my spleen. Before I went into surgery (keep in mind I was EIGHT), I overheard the doctor tell my parents they didn't think I'd survive through the surgery. One of the scariest things a kid could possibly hear.
How agonizing.
Almost ten years ago I was suffering from stomach pain. At the time I was drinking vodka daily and didn't have any direction in my life. I was still living at home and it finally came to the point where it was obvious that the drinking wasn't the problem. I went to the hospital and was diagnosed with diverticulitis. I waited so long to be treated that I was as pale as a ghost and required emergency surgery to correct the problem.
After all that happened I took better care of myself but just recently I was taken to the hospital again for severe stomach pains. I required emergency surgery again to correct a hernia that formed and was cutting off blood to my lower intestines. I had to have more of my lower intestines removed to get rid of all the dead tissue.
Both experiences were terrible and I felt like I was on my deathbed for both of them.
What an a**hole cousin.
So, when I was about six, I was at a pool with my mom, aunt and entitled cousin. He wanted to swim on a inflatable alligator I was on, so he just pushed me off it and I was there, drowning at the bottom of the pool. He didn't give a flying f*ck about me dying down there. Thank God, my aunt noticed I was gone and that bubbles coming out from water. She then realised what was going on and saved me.
Fun fact: My cousin didn't even get grounded for that.
That's so scary.
GiphyCaught in an avalanche and trapped under snow for ~6 hours.
As stupid as it sounds, I was able to get to my cell phone in my pocket (took me about an hour to get to it though), and call 911.
My battery was low, but I was able to tell them where I was. They sent search and rescue who came and dug me out.
Considering chance of survival past a few minutes is exceptionally low, I got super lucky.
The nurse is a hero.
I was born with a cleft palate, which is a birth defect that can prevent a child from eating and talking properly and can cause the child to starve to death if the birth defect isn't identified and the child isn't given the correct feeding equipment. The doctor on staff to identify my birth defect had left to play golf right before I was born, and the nurses weren't qualified to diagnose me with a cleft palate and give me the proper feeding equipment.
I guess the organization at the hospital was horrible, because about 2 and a half days after I was born no one had diagnosed me, and thus I had not been fed. Eventually one of the nurses found out what was going on and fed me using the proper equipment, but because she was not qualified to make that decision she was fired. If I had been allowed to starve for just a few more hours, I would have died.
That nurse's decision cost her her job but gave me my life, and any time I'm considering suicide I remember that. Thank you, whoever you are, for the gift of life. It just shows you how important doing the right thing is, no matter what the repercussions are.
TheMostMajesticSquidThat's brutal.
A few years ago, I thought I got a bad case of strep throat, the usual: felt like swallowing razor blades. Figured I could just muscle my way through it, so I waited it out for a few weeks until it became so severe it was impacting my ability to make it to my college courses. So I finally swallowed my pride, put my wallet on the line, and went to the doctor; turned out it wasn't strep, I had a peritonsillar abscess at the back of my throat. The doctor said it was the clearest she'd ever seen one, even asked me to let her nurses take a look at it so they could identify it later. Then I got sent off to a doctor in the ER, two of his nurses diagnosed it as an abscess, he said it wasn't an abscess, gave me a shot in the butt and sent me on my way.
Two days later, I had to go see an ENT specialist who, again, reiterated that it was one of the largest, ugliest abscesses he'd ever seen and that I was lucky to have made it in in time: another day or two and he told me the abscess would've swollen enough to clog my throat and I would've suffocated. Got it drained, but the abscess became recurrent and I had to get it drained multiple times, more difficult each time.
At last, the doctors decide to just cut out my tonsils, and recovery from that was brutal. A few times, I start to cough and bleed out of my throat, try to muscle through it, each time I call the doctor to make sure I'm alright. Finally, they tell me if it happens again, I need to make sure I come in to see the doctor, as it'll be dangerous.
Well, less than twelve hours later, my tonsils start bleeding again. I don't have many of the pictures anymore, but my bathroom looked like a murder scene: I was coughing up huge amounts of blood, it got all over the walls, all over the sink, all over the counter and the floor. The ambulance showed up and brought me to the hospital and they had to give me bags to spit the blood up into, and I filled up like 5-6. They had to put me on fluids because it was so bad. Every time it started to coagulate, I'd cough, and the blood would start flowing again, and let me tell you: it's awful. You can feel, and taste, the blood coming up your throat, and the little coagulated chunks only make it worse. They ended up having to put me under and cauterize the wound, and it was a brutal experience all around.
Yikes.
GiphyIt's not dramatic as you think, but also crazy af. When I was in high school, I got choked unconscious by another girl.
Some people would refer to her as a yandere or stalker. She would catch my bus home and catch the same bus to school by staying at her friends house even though she lived on the other side of the city 10+ km away. One day I rejected her, and the next day she came in with a ribbon. She said she had something to show me, and took me to this underpass at school that was relatively unpopular. She then fiber-wired me with the ribbon. I didn't know what was going down or if this was some sort of joke so I froze.
Next thing I know I'm in the nurse's office and a friend is standing over me. Apparently she found me just after I fell unconscious, because she got curious as to what was happening. If she hadn't I don't know what would've happened. The stalker got suspended for a few weeks. The found out she had high-functioning autism, and heard more stories about her from there. After everything was done, she came out relatively unscathed, although she did move to a specialist school after.
The most I've heard from her since is she disappeared from a police report.
It's a miracle they got out.
I live in India. Here we have geysers installed inside the bathroom which burn LPG to heat the water. The window in the bathroom has a net attached to it. My house was being cleaned so someone sprayed water on the net. Water bubbles formed on the net stopping ventilation.
I went to take a shower. The LPG burnt all the remaining oxygen in the bathroom. When LPG is burnt with insufficient presence of oxygen, Carbon Monoxide is released. Started feeling dizzy and fell on the bathroom floor. Somehow crawled my way to the door and opened it. Passed out seconds after that.
How strange.
I'm going to start this off by saying that I don't know for sure if I was close to dying or not, but it felt like it.
When I was a kid, maybe around 8-10, I got really sick. I lived beside my grandmother and I remember sitting on the floor in her living room and suddenly feeling very nauseous and dizzy. My parents thought it was the flu but I progressively got worse. I couldn't lay down because I would immediately vomit, my sleep was suffering as a result. Sometimes it was hard to breathe. I could barely keep food down. My temperature was constantly elevated.
My local doctor had no idea what it was, I remember them running a bunch of tests. This next part is all a blur because of how sick I was. But I remember going from doctor to doctor, even going to my state capital to find a doctor there. No one knew what to do. At one point I was prescribed Robitussin (maybe why I still hate it today.) One doctor said it might be whooping cough even though I had been vaccinated, they gave me an inhaler. Nothing was working. At this point, I had been sick for almost the entire duration of summer break from school. I know I had been given other treatments as well but I was so sick I was just doing whatever they told me, I don't remember a lot of it.
Then...it just went away. I don't know if we ever got answers for what it was, but I got my appetite back one day and 3 days into the school year, I was ready to go. I have never been so sick in my life and I maintain to this day that I thought I was dying.
Sounds like a curse.
GiphyI'm going to preface this by saying my dad's family is known for having weird accidents and health problems. This has been passed on to me.
- fell when carrying one of those trophies with an angel on it and punctured my neck when I was 5. Missed the jugular by less than half an inch
- anaphylactic shock due to an antibiotic. It was so bad my immune system had to reboot itself, and I was on the verge of multi-organ failure
- chronic appendicitis that got dismissed at the ER... it had switched to the acute phase by the time it got removed
Non-health related include: 3 gas leaks in the new house, being evacuated from a building because the IRA threatened to bomb it, having a plane I was in skid on the runaway when it landed, and others...
Those fair rides are no joke.
I am a woman. I was on a fair ride. Looked like an airplane and rose and spun in circles. As it rose I I ended up standing. The force took me right out of my seat. I am forever grateful for the man behind me that grabbed the back of my jeans and pushed me back down in the seat. I was thin back then they are always aware of height and if someone is too big. But there should be a check if someone weighs enough to ride safely. It had a lap bar that remained locked the whole time.
Most restaurant menus have caught up with the times to offer plenty of options to patrons with various dietary restrictions.
Vegan dishes tend to be a top priority, with gluten-free options being a close second.
Thanks to these options, groups of family and friends can dine together and not be limited by restaurant choices.
But when there's a sudden break in routine on the next outing, it can be jarring when the vegan in your group suddenly orders prime rib or a juicy burger that is not a plant-based patty.
What the whaaat?
Curious to hear from those who did a dietary 180 after routinely nourishing themselves with food grown from the earth's soil, Capital_Brain2676 asked:
"Vegans that started eating meat again, what happened?"
Some people were told what's good for them.
Point Made
"I know someone who was a vegetarian for 13 years simply because someone told them they couldn't do it. I guess he figured 13 years was enough to prove a point and went back to eating meat after."
– ottersandgoats
"I feel like 2-3 years would be enough though??"
– WebBorn2622
On A Dare
"I knew a girl in college who did that. She was dared in middle school to become a vegetarian and... she just stuck with it. More power to them."
– ComplexWest8790
Some people were left with no choice but to ditch veganism.
Thanks, Mickey Ds
"Got cancer. Ate whatever my body would take without throwing up and that just happened to be chicken nuggets."
– BratS94
When Choices Are Limited
"Homeless and pregnant = eat what I was given."
– anon
"I’ve always wondered this actually. If a homeless vegan eats what they’re given. I’ve given homeless people subs in the past because of veggies, protein, and carbs (all necessary things) and wondered if they would eat it if they’re vegan. I’m sorry you’ve been on that road. I hope things are better for you now."
– Saltwater_Heart
The Saying Goes
"There is a reason for the saying 'beggars can’t be choosers,' you give what you can/have and you can’t always accommodate the person you are giving it to, don’t think too hard about it. Also, hope OP is doing better."
– Reikotsu
Certain medical conditions prevented these Redditors from sticking to their restrictive diets.
Cooking For Two
"I still eat mostly vegetarian food and have done all my life. However my husband was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and coeliac which means that a high fibre/lower iron diet is not an option and a lot of the substitutes aren’t gluten free. More often than not when he has meat I’ll leave it or have the veggie equivalent but there are just not enough hours in the day to make 2 separate lasagnes and sauce etc."
– Chanel-Chic
Troublesome Ailment
"As someone who has UC, that's very cool of you to cook a more UC friendly diet. I dated a woman for 6 months who was a pescatarian. Every time I cooked, it was something we both liked and could eat. Every time she cooked, she focused on what she wanted and it didn't seem to matter whether I could eat it or not. She was nuero divergent and had it in her head that veggies = good regardless of what it did to my insides. For anyone who doesn't know, UC is inflammation due to my immune system attacking the lining of my colon. So it's inflamed (unless you're in remission, which a fair amount of people aren't). Large amounts of fiber makes the food sit there longer and get more packed, which hurts like all hell being tight up against inflamed tissue. And certain ones create gas of an unimaginable magnitude and strength."
"Anyway, a fair amount of the time, I had to order delivery or takeout because otherwise, I would have been farting or sh*tting my brains out overnight. So I appreciate what you've done like you wouldn't believe."
– Wishilikedhugs
Bye Bye Veggies
"My gastroparesis diet led me off my vegan diet as well. I can’t handle legumes, leafy greens, and most vegetables. Hard to be a healthy vegan without any of those."
– Jefauver
When Vegan Ingredients Turn On You
"Yup. Crohn’s Disease ended my 17 year vegetarian stretch. I’m in remission now and don’t eat red meat but I am sensitive to several vegan friendly ingredients like garlic, onions, cauliflower family and now I can avoid them without starving."
–friscodayone
Cooking For A Full House
"Back when COVID had everyone in lockedown, myself and my roommate's family would take turns cooking dinner and it was fine. Then my roommate went on the NOOM diet, her daughter was diagnosed with GERD and couldn't have anything acidic, and her husband was diagnosed with celiac. Oh, and another family member disliked potatoes. I finally had to bow out. It was way too much of a pain in the @ss to cook a meal that met all of those restrictions."
– panda388
Sometimes, you just gotta have meat.
Costco Chicken
"Not my story, but a good friend of mine was vegetarian, very nearly vegan for over 10 years. One day she was in Costco and walked past the rotisserie chickens. Without thinking she put it in her cart. When she got home she stood over the sink and ate it with her bare hands. She had no idea what came over her. Her telling me this story is still one of the funniest things I've ever heard. She is still very plant forward in her eating, but she won't hesitate to order a burger or a steak when she wants it now."
– NotAlwaysGifs
Ravenous
"I went on a weekend backpacking trip with a girl who had been religiously vegan for a few years. It was a pretty physically intense trip, and the last day heading back was in pouring rain the whole way, so by the time we got back to our car, we were absolutely exhausted, filthy, and starving."
"There was only one restaurant anywhere nearby, one of those highway diners. We get there and I notice she's got this kind of crazy look in her eyes. I ask if she's okay, and she just says 'I need a steak.' I laugh, but she goes 'I'm serious. I can't help it. I need a big greasy piece of meat right now or I'm going to die.""
"Sure enough, she orders the biggest steak on the menu, and wolfs it down in minutes, and the crazed look goes away. After that, she went right back to being vegan like nothing had happened. The look in her eyes was a little scary to be honest."
– AxelShoes
Unless it's a matter of life or death, there's no way I can survive being a vegan.
I don't have a strong enough will power to avoid eating meat.
So if that day ever comes when I'm forced to make a major change in my diet that won't include red meat and you're around me all the time, apologies in advance for my perpetual state of being hangry.
People's Wildest 'WTF Is Wrong With You?' Experiences
Reddit user nekorei2023 asked: 'What did the person do/say that made you go "what the f**k is wrong with you?"'
We all have that moment where someone we know says something so completely absurd, the only response we think of is 'WTF is wrong with you?'
Sometimes, it's something woefully inaccurate that you can't wrap your head around the fact that someone believes that.
Othertimes, it's something completely offensive and you regret your association with that person.
My college roommate was a girl I knew from my high school. I didn't know her too well, but we had some big things in common, so I figured it'd be fun to live with her.
This girl was half-Korean and talked a lot about racist people. At first, I let her rant, figuring maybe she or someone in her family faced some racism. I faced some myself, and I agreed with most of the things she said about racists. Eventually, however, I realized she was equating the word 'racist' with the word 'white.'
I spoke to her once, telling her she can't use 'racist' and 'white' interchangeably. She agreed to stop doing that, but within a few days, she started doing it again. She was a very bright girl, so I was a little concerned about this, especially since her own dad was white and was possibly the nicest man in the world. Not to mention, this made her and her siblings half-white too. Did that mean they were all half-racist?
I stuck by her for a while, but when she started saying things about what she wanted to do to racist people (once again using the word 'white' instead of 'racist'), I realized I couldn't be around her anymore. She couldn't talk about anything else after a while, and every time she spoke, I wanted to say, 'WTF is wrong with you?'
We did not room together the next year.
Redditors have stories similar to mine (and some even crazier), and they are eager to share.
It all started when a Redditorasked:
How To End A Friendship
"In college I used to kill time between classes hanging out with a guy who was from the same redneck county as myself. We didn’t really have much else in common, but he was nice enough and seemed eager to socialize so I figured why not. I wasn’t overly social myself and didn’t know a whole lot of people."
"One day we decided to go somewhere off-campus, and he drove us. While driving, on an interstate mind you, he proceeds to show me his handgun that he kept in his truck - not in a menacing way, but in a “Ain’t that cool?” way."
"I was not immediately frightened, but I respect firearms enough to recognize we are going like 60-70mph on an interstate in daylight, and nothing good can happen in this scenario. I calmly asked him to put it away because I was not comfortable in this situation at all. He then tells me “Oh it’s not loaded” and presses the gun to his head before pulling the trigger."
"Thank f**k he was right, but still it was a wild and frightening display of reckless disregard for his own life and mine for that matter in the event that he’d accidentally killed himself while driving us. I didn’t hang out with him much after that, certainly didn’t get in a car with him."
– omjf23
"“It’s not loaded” famous last words of many an idiot."
– GloInTheDarkUnicorn
The Worst Kind Of People
"When my dad was in the nursing home, they weren't running certain expenses, like ambulance rides, through his insurance. When I took over his financials, he was tens of thousands in medical debt that shouldn't have ever been charged to him in the first place. He was in numerous collections, and his credit score was tanked."
"When I complained to the nursing home director, he said, "Well, it's not like he's going to be buying a house or a car!" Then he laughed."
"My dad was paralyzed from the waist down and needed lifelong care, so he was never going to leave the nursing home. Even though he was technically correct, I gave him the "WTF is wrong with you look." Then I complained to HIS boss and he got canned a couple a weeks later. My dad's insurance was fixed pretty quick, too."
– MNWNM
"“Sorry, what was funny about that? Could you please explain.”"
– v3n0mat3
...Seriously?
"MIL told my wife she should divorce me bc I googled whether a lasagna should be covered with foil while cooking."
– Struggle-Silent
"This is my first laugh of the thread lmao wtf."
– koreantrvp
"It actually ruined this entire trip. It was at my BIL’s wedding, which was only close family (siblings + parents) and they had the caterer make a lasagna for an evening dinner."
"Father of the bride was gonna pop it in the oven and asked if it should be covered. I googled lasagna cooking instructions and said yes it should be covered and cooked at this temp. MIL said absolutely not!"
"Me and the father of the bride kinda gave each other a look and he covered it. MIL was furious and texted my wife that I was an a hole and she should divorce me before we had kids."
– Struggle-Silent
Hostile Work Environment
"Boss at old job told the team we needed to ‘get used to a healthy level of conflict, fear and anxiety in the workplace.’ I dipped so fast after that."
– Prestigious-Energy69
"Similarly, a boss told me that I owed him my loyalty because he was paying me."
– Kylearean
How To End A Relationship
"A girl I was with while we were still together just looked at me while I was driving to her house and said.” You know I would get over you faster than you’d get over me” I was like …… Tf did you just say?"
– omega91301
"Huh. And just like that I'm over you."
– Pineapple_Spenstar
"Honestly, that would absolutely do it for me. When I was younger, I would be stupid and hurt and argue. I'm past 50 and I got no time for that nonsense."
– Terpsichorean_Wombat
There Are Other Ways To Stave Off Boredom
"I was DD for some buddies who wanted to go to a particular dance club in Baltimore. They're all hammered, it's too loud and we've been there for several hours. Casually an older woman next to me chats me up and notices my eyes are nearly crossing from boredom. I explained what I was doing there and casually (stupidly) mentioned I'm a bit bored. This psycho BITES ME on the chest! Afterward says "Well ya ain't bored now, are ya??""
– Mike7676
"Well, were you bored after that?"
– DontWannaSayMyName
"I must say, I was not!"
– Mike7676
That Goes Both Ways!
"I'm a man who works with kids, and when I started this job, I was talking to one of my old coworkers about how every once in a while I'll get weird looks for being a man working with kids and my coworker said I deserved it because some men can't be trusted with kids. I was shocked and she went on to say that I did it to myself and deserve to be questioned about it. I immediately stopped talking to her."
– Dolhedew
"What? What in the actual f**k? Doesn’t she know there are women who can’t be trusted with kids?"
– Anonymoosehead123
That Escalated Quickly
"The lady that accused my kids of cutting the line. (They hadn't, I was watching). When I went to ask her what was wrong, she told me to go back to my own country with that sh*t. (I was born in Massachusetts.)"
"The line was to pet dogs at a Renaissance Fair."
– pasafa
Everything All At Once
"While alone with a coworker, he told me that "women in the work place will lead to the decay of the fabric of society" to me. A woman. He also asked me out, got an attitude when I didn't say yes and continues to walk around with huge incel energy. He always complains that he has no one to go home to yet refuses to look at himself as a possible reason."
– Nopeferatu31
"Sounds like they should learn something from the phrase, "if you meet one a**hole, they're the a**hole. If everyone you meet is an a**hole, you're the a**hole.""
– tmpope123
Ouch!
"I told a coworker my wife had died."
"Her response: "You're one of those bald middle aged guys with a dead wife.""
"Me: "Yeah.""
– WalrusCello
"I want to think this was a wholesome thought that came out wrong. An awkward attempt at dark humor."
– ThisUsernameIsTook
*Cringing*
"Had an otherwise normal co-worker who was completely convinced windmills will cause the earth to stop spinning."
– Shadowmant
"WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!"
– Torvaun
These are all crazy 'WTF is wrong with you' stories, but that last one blew my mind in 'how is it possible people think that could be true' sort of way!