It's one thing to be a foodie. It's another thing to put your life at risk because you're a little hungry and you want to be adventurous. How did our people learn what we could and could not consume? Who exactly discovered what seasonings paired perfectly with things? Who was the brave who learned for us that ketchup should always be on a fry? Deep thoughts friends. Deep thoughts.
Redditor u/maniacz2 had a really good life question we never really think about by asking.... What food has made you wonder, "How did our ancestors discover that this was edible?"
WTF?! Is correct!
Giphy
Kiviak - 500 Whole Auks (small bird) stuffed into a seal skin made air tight with the seals fat then left outside under rocks for 3 months.. mostly eaten on birthdays or at weddings.
Who the hell did this and thought "This will be a tasty snack in a few months?"
It's polite to eat it outside and it's considered good when it makes your eyes sting. It's never cooked and you just pull a bird out and start chowing down. WTF vj4
Don't be bitter....
Wild "bitter" Almonds have a significant amount of Cyanide in them. Whatever tribe in the Middle East that decided to keep breeding them and eating them anyway until they cultivated a non-poisonous cultivar was brave as hell. Or desperate. TofuDeliveryBoy
No, NO, Nonya...
This underground nut that is used in Nonya cooking. It's poisonous but you can eat it after it has been stored underground covered in ash for God knows how long. Buah kaluk I think it's called. BadUnker
Feel like I'm gonna ask what Nunya is and get a response like "nunya business kiddo." Amadeus420
I'm Flushed....
Hákarl.
It's made from sharks which usually are not edible. IIRC that's because they lack bladders, so all the nasty stuff accumulates instead of getting flushed out. Do your own research though, if you want to know for sure.
As a matter of fact, however, it can't be eaten unless you:
- gut and decapitate it
- bury it
- place stones on top to squish the shark and press the nasty stuff out
- leave it alone for 1-3 months
- dig out the corpse and cut it into stripes
- air the stripes for another 3-4 months
- remove the brown crust
Sounds delicious, huh? TheBoldMove
You're too Puffy....
Giphy
A bunch of people must have died from eating pufferfish and instead of stopping they just thought "Nah we just have to figure out exactly how to eat this thing." jonathanspicoli
In one prefecture they figured out that you can pickle fugu ovaries in rice bran for 3 years and it will remove the toxicity. I wonder if they just pickled the ovaries and had people periodically taste test it and when people stopped dying they were like, "Aight it's ok to eat." OMothmanWhereArtThou
Very Saffy....
Saffron, who the hell figured out that the stamen from a specific crocus flower, when picked and dried then steeped in warm liquids was going to be delicious? zowlingball
Easy. At first they wanted to extract the color and use it to dye stuff. Then they discovered that it also tastes good. Freevoulous
I'll take them scrambled....
Century eggs. Take duck eggs. Wrap them in hay and mud and ashes (legend has it horse urine used to be used too, because it's alkaline). Wait a few weeks / months. Break them open whereupon they are grey and jellylike and pungent smelling slightly of ammonia. Boil and eat.
I love them, but I really have to wonder who thought that eating them was a good idea in the first place. Or perhaps, how hungry they were that eating them seemed like a good idea. nogardleirie
Don't Swallow....
Cashew nuts. The shell is poisonous, the oil from the shell is poisonous, the nut is ok. If you pick one, shell it and eat it you will get a poison ivy type reaction everywhere it touched you.
Potatoes, the leaves are poisonous, the weird bubbly crap on the roots is fine, but only if you cook them. Wild potatoes can make you quite sick eaten raw. HoodsInSuits
Baking in the Woods....
The answer is always grains. I can't figure out how our ancestors discovered that prehistoric varieties of wheat or barley were edible. klod42
People probably saw an animal baking bread and figured it was safe to eat. OftheGates
Why poop?
Giphy
Civet coffee. Although more of a recent discovery (18th century). But who in their right mind decided, "I'm going to make coffee with this animal's poop!"?!! pommomwow
Arabian herders saw their goats eating coffee berries and acting energized afterwards. People began eating the berries. It took a long time before they learned to just boil the bean. DavidPT40
Pass the pepper....
Regular salt. You are eating a mineral. I get it that it was very critical to conserve meats back then but still I don't get how people can enjoy eating it or how the hell they figured it was edible and meat preserving. rodrigo_sth
Strawberries forever!
Giphy
Not so much edibility, but...lemme back up a little here.
When you see "natural flavors" in an ingredients list, it doesn't mean that the flavor represented actually came from the supposed source, just that the source is natural and not a man-made chemical (which would be artificial flavoring). Some natural grape flavor isn't from grapes, for instance, it's from mold.
With me so far? It gets even better.
One fairly common natural flavoring is strawberry flavor which is derived from the anal glands of beavers. So who was the first guy to eat a beaver's ass and say, "Hey, this tastes like strawberries!" 626c6f775f6d65
Starbucks thanks you....
Coffee,
Pick it, dry it. Roast it. Grind it. Boil water. Mix it. Filter it. Add milk. Add milk froth. Add sugar. Add hazelnut syrup. Drink before it gets cold. TheNewHobbes
Can you add butter?
Popcorn. I can only imagine there was a fire where corn was being stored... So basically by accident. Macaht
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCp59TLWmZI&vl=en-US
This was a kids book I read in like Kindergarten, and it stuck with me for way too long. All I had to do was google "kids book about native americans popping corn." I distinctly remember the page where they said that early natives thought that the kernels held a little demon that would get so angry that he blew up when heated. SammyMhmm
To the core.....
Giphy
As a french, cheese and wine. Two of our most renowned food items are basically rotten products. rakoo
You eat first....
Almonds. Originally poisonous... how does that even start? Carl died but before the afterlife he said they had a nice aftertaste. katkatkatkatkatkatt
I don't know why this is so low. People are saying cashews but almonds make the top nut list for me. Bgtex
That all sounds.... ummm....
Don't get me wrong, a bowl of moules mariniere with chips and a pint of good lager on the Mersea seafront is one of life's great pleasures.
But who the hell thought those black rock-dwelling weirdos would be edible? Creeeem
Shrooming all the way....
Every time I'm in the forest and picking mushrooms I wonder "how the hell did they figure out which one that was edible and which one was poisonous!?"
They must've learned it the hard way.. osktox
Every family has a least favorite child. PerilousAll
Chopped or Sauteed?
Onions! How can someone cut into something and with tears streaming down their face and eyes stinging, think "yep I bet this is safe to eat!" LeahMakesClothes
Probably didn't cut it in the First Place, they Would just bite in it. morre-jr
We're Doomed!
Giphy
Kimchee.
"Hey guys, I covered some cabbage in salt and buried it for 5 days"
"Barry, why the hell would you DO that?!"
"Wanna eat some with me?"
"God! It smells like pickled **holes!"
"......wanna eat some with me?"
"Hell yeah I do!"
How the hell is our species still alive? Penguin154
How many times have we all said... "I'll just eat it and see?"
***WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!***
I can't think of anything hilarious at the moment. Make us LOL.
Lady
Shocked Oh No GIF by Yêu LuGiphy"I have this friend, love him to bits, but his wife has a tendency of just constantly showing everyone pictures of their son at every social event. At the start it was understandable, but now I'm just like 'Lady, it's been two years; they're not going to find him.'"
UnoriginalUse
at 9am...
"Not the most morbid but I love Anthony Jeselnik’s story about his neighbor who has Alzheimer’s. 'One of my next door neighbors is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. And every single morning at 9am he knocks on my door and asks me if I have seen his wife.'"
"'Which means that every single morning at 9am I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now I’ve thought about moving. I have thought about just not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it… just to see the smile on his face.”
dreagan021
Comedy?
"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."
GW2RNGR
"Why can't orphans play tennis? They get confused when they hear love."
JayDub506
People who make comedy are evil. LOL.
The Darkness
That 70S Show Reaction GIF by LaffGiphy"Dark humor is like food; not everyone gets it."
storm_the_castle
God Laughs?
"A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven, where she meets God. To break the tension she tells God a joke about the Holocaust, but God doesn’t laugh. The lady shrugs and says 'I guess you had to be there.'"
“'I guess you had to be there' is a common expression used when someone doesn’t laugh at a joke. It means that the comedy may not translate without the context of the situation."
"In this case the Holocaust survivor is saying it, meaning that during the Holocaust God was nowhere to be found. It’s not really a joke about the Holocaust, but the absurdity of belief in a benevolent God. Hilarious right?"
semimillennial
Oh Baby
"How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? More than 3 cause my garage is still dark."
sirnibs3
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Because I don't know what it says about us as people if we laugh. Oye.
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Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Liam_Tang asked:
"People who've divorced, aside from adultery, what were the irreconcilable differences that ended the marriage?"
You think you know a person when you walk down the aisle.
These Redditors were in for a rude awakening.
Pet Neglect
"My wife divorced her ex for many reasons, but the final straw was when she went out of town for a few days, and when she got back he had not fed or given water to the dog. The dog lived a long and happy life after that."
– StrangeCrimes
Obsessed With A Crush
"Not me, but I had an old coworker that divorced his wife for spending their entire savings on candy crush and games of the same type."
– Hexis40
Compatibility Musts
"ITT: Intimacy (sex/romance), beliefs (religion/spirituality/politics), kids, and I haven’t seen it yet but it’s coming: finances."
"The big four. You REALLY need to discuss these things in detail BEFORE getting married."
– rabbiskittles
Physical violence is a legit reason for people to peace out of a relationship.
The Flattening
"She threatened to hit me with a hammer."
– michaelrohansmith
Hitting The Bottle
"She became an abusive alcoholic. It was sad but I had to get out."
– diegojones4
Emotional pain is too damaging to recover from.
Truth Hurts
"She told me as we stood in front of the judge ending our 7 year marriage, 'I never loved you, I just wanted kids.'"
– Pinch_Dogs
Can't Fix Angry
"She was beautiful/smart but an angry angry person. I thought I could be sweet to her and 'fix' that. Heh. She kicked the crap out of me emotionally. Wife II has been a walk in the roses for 32 years now :)"
– lowlandr
A change of heart is worthless if comes too late.
"We Could've Had A Nice Marriage
"He could not understand that my wants and needs were as important as his wants and needs. We tried to make it work for 7 years. During that time, for things that were really important to me, I tried explaining logically, asking nicely, begging, crying, yelling, passive aggressiveness... cycled back through all of these options multiple times."
"(If I knew something was important to him, I would do that. For example, he was really into sports, so I went to all his events, even though that is not at all my thing.) When I finally threw up my hands and told him it was time to get a divorce, he suddenly panicked and said 'What can I do? Do you want me to do half the chores? I'll do it! Do you want me to get a job? I'll do it! Do you want me to buy you presents for your birthday? I'll do it!'"
"So, in other words, he could have been doing that all along, but just couldn't be bothered. That made me so angry. We could have had a nice marriage that we both enjoyed, but no, by the time he saw the light, that ship had sailed."
"We are both happily remarried now (to different people) and I joke that his new wife owes me a thank you note. It was his experience with me that taught him to listen to her and take her needs seriously."
– Bluebird-True
"What Can I Do?"
"My ex was exactly like this. I didn't marry him but when I told him let's break up, he went all like, what can I do? Let's get engaged, let's look at houses, etc. Basically all the pre-marriage topics that we should be discussing about after being together for 7 years."
"I got so angry and straight up told him it's too late... I don't need you anymore."
– gudetarako
As much as a couple wants to stay together, unforeseen circumstances can eventually tear people apart.
Very few people can maintain healthy long-distance relationships.
When a new job opportunity takes a significant other away, would you begrudge them for wanting a better position to earn more money? Or is it better for them to reluctantly turn down the opportunity so they could stay with you? Do either scenarios breed resentment?
These were questions I've often asked myself with past relationships, and my answers varied depending on the person I was with.
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