It's one thing to be a foodie. It's another thing to put your life at risk because you're a little hungry and you want to be adventurous. How did our people learn what we could and could not consume? Who exactly discovered what seasonings paired perfectly with things? Who was the brave who learned for us that ketchup should always be on a fry? Deep thoughts friends. Deep thoughts.
Redditor u/maniacz2 had a really good life question we never really think about by asking.... What food has made you wonder, "How did our ancestors discover that this was edible?"
WTF?! Is correct!
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Kiviak - 500 Whole Auks (small bird) stuffed into a seal skin made air tight with the seals fat then left outside under rocks for 3 months.. mostly eaten on birthdays or at weddings.
Who the hell did this and thought "This will be a tasty snack in a few months?"
It's polite to eat it outside and it's considered good when it makes your eyes sting. It's never cooked and you just pull a bird out and start chowing down. WTF vj4
Don't be bitter....
Wild "bitter" Almonds have a significant amount of Cyanide in them. Whatever tribe in the Middle East that decided to keep breeding them and eating them anyway until they cultivated a non-poisonous cultivar was brave as hell. Or desperate. TofuDeliveryBoy
No, NO, Nonya...
This underground nut that is used in Nonya cooking. It's poisonous but you can eat it after it has been stored underground covered in ash for God knows how long. Buah kaluk I think it's called. BadUnker
Feel like I'm gonna ask what Nunya is and get a response like "nunya business kiddo." Amadeus420
I'm Flushed....
Hákarl.
It's made from sharks which usually are not edible. IIRC that's because they lack bladders, so all the nasty stuff accumulates instead of getting flushed out. Do your own research though, if you want to know for sure.
As a matter of fact, however, it can't be eaten unless you:
- gut and decapitate it
- bury it
- place stones on top to squish the shark and press the nasty stuff out
- leave it alone for 1-3 months
- dig out the corpse and cut it into stripes
- air the stripes for another 3-4 months
- remove the brown crust
Sounds delicious, huh? TheBoldMove
You're too Puffy....
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A bunch of people must have died from eating pufferfish and instead of stopping they just thought "Nah we just have to figure out exactly how to eat this thing." jonathanspicoli
In one prefecture they figured out that you can pickle fugu ovaries in rice bran for 3 years and it will remove the toxicity. I wonder if they just pickled the ovaries and had people periodically taste test it and when people stopped dying they were like, "Aight it's ok to eat." OMothmanWhereArtThou
Very Saffy....
Saffron, who the hell figured out that the stamen from a specific crocus flower, when picked and dried then steeped in warm liquids was going to be delicious? zowlingball
Easy. At first they wanted to extract the color and use it to dye stuff. Then they discovered that it also tastes good. Freevoulous
I'll take them scrambled....
Century eggs. Take duck eggs. Wrap them in hay and mud and ashes (legend has it horse urine used to be used too, because it's alkaline). Wait a few weeks / months. Break them open whereupon they are grey and jellylike and pungent smelling slightly of ammonia. Boil and eat.
I love them, but I really have to wonder who thought that eating them was a good idea in the first place. Or perhaps, how hungry they were that eating them seemed like a good idea. nogardleirie
Don't Swallow....
Cashew nuts. The shell is poisonous, the oil from the shell is poisonous, the nut is ok. If you pick one, shell it and eat it you will get a poison ivy type reaction everywhere it touched you.
Potatoes, the leaves are poisonous, the weird bubbly crap on the roots is fine, but only if you cook them. Wild potatoes can make you quite sick eaten raw. HoodsInSuits
Baking in the Woods....
The answer is always grains. I can't figure out how our ancestors discovered that prehistoric varieties of wheat or barley were edible. klod42
People probably saw an animal baking bread and figured it was safe to eat. OftheGates
Why poop?
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Civet coffee. Although more of a recent discovery (18th century). But who in their right mind decided, "I'm going to make coffee with this animal's poop!"?!! pommomwow
Arabian herders saw their goats eating coffee berries and acting energized afterwards. People began eating the berries. It took a long time before they learned to just boil the bean. DavidPT40
Pass the pepper....
Regular salt. You are eating a mineral. I get it that it was very critical to conserve meats back then but still I don't get how people can enjoy eating it or how the hell they figured it was edible and meat preserving. rodrigo_sth
Strawberries forever!
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Not so much edibility, but...lemme back up a little here.
When you see "natural flavors" in an ingredients list, it doesn't mean that the flavor represented actually came from the supposed source, just that the source is natural and not a man-made chemical (which would be artificial flavoring). Some natural grape flavor isn't from grapes, for instance, it's from mold.
With me so far? It gets even better.
One fairly common natural flavoring is strawberry flavor which is derived from the anal glands of beavers. So who was the first guy to eat a beaver's ass and say, "Hey, this tastes like strawberries!" 626c6f775f6d65
Starbucks thanks you....
Coffee,
Pick it, dry it. Roast it. Grind it. Boil water. Mix it. Filter it. Add milk. Add milk froth. Add sugar. Add hazelnut syrup. Drink before it gets cold. TheNewHobbes
Can you add butter?
Popcorn. I can only imagine there was a fire where corn was being stored... So basically by accident. Macaht
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCp59TLWmZI&vl=en-US
This was a kids book I read in like Kindergarten, and it stuck with me for way too long. All I had to do was google "kids book about native americans popping corn." I distinctly remember the page where they said that early natives thought that the kernels held a little demon that would get so angry that he blew up when heated. SammyMhmm
To the core.....
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As a french, cheese and wine. Two of our most renowned food items are basically rotten products. rakoo
You eat first....
Almonds. Originally poisonous... how does that even start? Carl died but before the afterlife he said they had a nice aftertaste. katkatkatkatkatkatt
I don't know why this is so low. People are saying cashews but almonds make the top nut list for me. Bgtex
That all sounds.... ummm....
Don't get me wrong, a bowl of moules mariniere with chips and a pint of good lager on the Mersea seafront is one of life's great pleasures.
But who the hell thought those black rock-dwelling weirdos would be edible? Creeeem
Shrooming all the way....
Every time I'm in the forest and picking mushrooms I wonder "how the hell did they figure out which one that was edible and which one was poisonous!?"
They must've learned it the hard way.. osktox
Every family has a least favorite child. PerilousAll
Chopped or Sauteed?
Onions! How can someone cut into something and with tears streaming down their face and eyes stinging, think "yep I bet this is safe to eat!" LeahMakesClothes
Probably didn't cut it in the First Place, they Would just bite in it. morre-jr
We're Doomed!
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Kimchee.
"Hey guys, I covered some cabbage in salt and buried it for 5 days"
"Barry, why the hell would you DO that?!"
"Wanna eat some with me?"
"God! It smells like pickled **holes!"
"......wanna eat some with me?"
"Hell yeah I do!"
How the hell is our species still alive? Penguin154
How many times have we all said... "I'll just eat it and see?"
Real life contains the scariest horrors you could ask for. So aren't we all living in a horror movie, in a way? At least, these people sure freakin' were.
MisterSnowman69 asked: What was a moment in your life that felt like a horror movie scene?
In the words of the legendary Mary Vivian Pierce in the film Pink Flamingos, “Murder merely relieves tension”. I’m sure the following Redditors felt differently.
Nothing scarier than the woods at night.
Went into a real deep woods hike for only the second time in my life.
My gps broke and had to rely on my compass. Got turned around a few times because I couldn't remember the direction I came from, and it was getting dark. Lost the trail way.
But the woods are weirdly silent in the dark and alone.
It was around 2am by the time I found the trailhead.
Darn foxes.
the simpsons react GIFGiphyMy friend and I got lost late on one foggy night in the Italian countryside. There were rats all over and every once in a while we heard someone scream.
I've never been more sure I was about to get murdered than I was that night.
It was probably a red fox that was screaming.
Could've also been a lynx, but they are much rarer in Italy.
At least she wasn’t speaking in tongues.
My mom is quite the sleep talker, but it's usually pretty short and incoherent when it happens. One night as a teenager, I woke up to her scream-yelling the Hail Mary prayer (my bedroom was across the house and upstairs).
Difficult to get back to sleep after that one.
Sometimes scary sh*t ends up just being funny coincidences. Super funny. Right?
Don’t give them any ideas.
I was exploring an abandoned mental asylum and then got the scare of my life when a scary looking person inside one of the rooms was just staring at me without moving. Turns out some joker had left a cardboard cutout there.
And now I have plans this weekend... Just need to find a couple of cardboard cutouts and to break into the local abandoned asylum.
Don’t you hate when that happens?
Evil Dead Horror GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyI was driving home on backcountry roads at midnight in heavy fog. Like can't see 10 feet in front of you thick. Suddenly I see an all-white silhouette running in front of the car. Every hair on my body stood up. I immediately think "oh god, oh f*ck, it's a f*cking woman in white, I'm gonna f*cking die"
Nope just a drunk who dove into the ditch.
Gotta love paranoia.
When I was about 12, my parents went out for dinner leaving me home alone. We lived out in the country, on a private road with only three other houses, surrounded by cow fields and wooded areas.
I went into the the kitchen and glanced out the window towards the trees and there in the fading light I could see a person walking slowly through the woods. They were wearing all black, moving slowly and appeared to pause behind trees. My heart started pounding so hard in my ears I couldn't hear anything else and I was weak and shaky from fear. I froze and just watched them. Would they come to the house? Where were they going?
This was before cell phones but I suddenly remembered my mom had left the number of the restaurant by the living room phone. Slowly, I made my way towards the living room, trying to watch this stranger in the woods.
Just as I entered the living room, all the lights in the entire house went out. By this time it was nearly dark outside. I started openly sobbing and in the dark I heard a weird boom like noise. That was it, I ran to my parents room, hid under their bed and sobbed. That's where my mom found me hours later (it felt like).
Well, turns out the stranger in the woods was a stupid cow that had busted through a fence, the lights going out was from an accident a few miles away (hit the power line) and the boom was the pilot light in the gas stove. Man, I have never been that scared in my life though!
I have a lot of questions.
A naked man who was covered in blood chased me across a park at 2 in the morning. I was totally alone. He just wanted money for a bus (????) and luckily nothing bad happened but I thought I was going to die.
But of course, the genuine horrors do exist. And they aren’t scary in a fun horror movie way, they’re actually terrifying because they can happen to anyone.
A scary few seconds.
car chase GIF by Mayans M.C.GiphyI am a "baby" in a car seat in between cousins in backseat. Dad is driving. This is in the 80s and it is my aunt's insistence that I am in this seat even though I am like 5.
A sleeping semi driver is coming over into our lane and there is a cliff on other side. Basically my dad did some amazing driving but semi blew us up. I am uninjured sitting in the seat swinging my legs while everyone is unconscious. They all wake groaning. Dad doesnt wake up.
Long story short just minor scrapes and dad has broken leg. But the crunch of metal and those few seconds/minute of being the only "alive" person was quite fear inducing.
Glad they’re all ok now.
Two days after my now boyfriend told me he liked me he fell from a zip line and broke his back. Almost died. 6 months later he got into a car wreck from a drunk driver - almost died. 6 months after that, he passed out and had to have emergency brain surgery, again, almost died. I now have severe anxiety/separation anxiety/and ptsd. That whole year was a f*cking nightmare
Edit: we're both okay now, the brain injury was almost a year ago. But TBIs take a while to heal so he still has side effects. Thankfully our relationship is still strong; he's physically getting better and I'm healing emotionally too. Lucky for him, the trauma of the injuries has caused him to forget the majority of the pain and memories of those incidents.
ALWAYS wear a helmet.
Driving home from work at 23, listening to my favorite song.
I pull up to a red light, and see this guy on a motorcycle coming up next to me in the other lane. I rolled down my window to compliment his bike when he stops. He doesn't, and runs the red light. He hits a car going at least 55mph. His motorcycle shatters apart, he goes flying, hits the hood of another car, and lands on the ground and rolls into the curb (no helmet). The car he hit with his motorcycle was totaled. I had to step over his body to talk to the police. He was still alive when they got there. I regret not holding his hand. It was just a normal day, and all of a sudden it felt like the rug was pulled from out beneath me. He was only 18.
Edit: The song was Sunny by Boney M., for those curious
What did we learn today, kids? Foxes scream like humans, shadowy figures are usually cows or drunken rednecks, and once again, PLEASE WEAR A HELMET WHEN YOU RIDE ANY KIND OF BIKE.
Scary sh*t surrounds us. But where there is horror, there are heroes. So next time you think you see a scary figure in the woods, know that Bruce Campbell is probably right around the corner
Hypocrisy is everywhere; it's like a disease. And sadly everyone does it. Some of us indulge in smaller doses than others. But some people live their life by it. Like how can you support civil servants, like police, firefighters, etc... yet try to find ways to hide money in order to not pay taxes? Tell me... I'll wait.
Manga...
Hungry Night Court GIF by LaffGiphyItalian moms that say you're too fat then say I'm making grandma cry by not finishing my pasta.
Asian moms too! Not only that if you try to not eat, they make to go containers for you. Oh, sorry I have to leave, RUNS AT LEAST HAVE SOME FRUIT.
Phonies...
Celebrities positioning themselves as champions for social justice while launching a clothing line with no comment on the labor conditions their garments are made in.
Sexy Times...
The Porn Industry
Why is prostitution considered a crime, but it becomes perfectly legal once a camera is put beside them?
I think the first amendment helps with that one. There's been many a supreme-court case about whether porn is protected speech.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
You can get away with WAY more crap, in general, when you're attractive.
But we all kind of aspire to attractiveness and it's not like it's attractive people's fault, exactly. So what is there to be done?
So true. Money and beauty are treated like virtues and they aren't. They're luck of the draw. It probably helps you to be a better person if people assume that you are gentle and clever just by looking at your face or wallet.
KIDS
GIF by MOODMANGiphyPeople screaming at you if you don't want Kids and Kids are the greatest thing in the World and then turn around and whine how expensive they are and how annoying yadda yadda.
Yeah see... humans are a mess. And too often then not, personal conviction and dignity are just a myth, or a punchline. Double standards have always been a way of life. And many of us have begrudgingly learned to navigate.
Fashion
Fashion Model GIF by NYFW: The ShowsGiphyIf a skinny person wears something out of the ordinary, it's a fashion statement and awesome. It can even just be something like a crop top or overalls.
But God forbid a fat person wear the same thing.
Distractions
The hypocrisy hypocrisy. People love to call it out but rarely notice it on themselves and if they notice it then it's something completely different or a distraction.
That's the worst. I hate that I have to hate that. But if I don't hate it, then the hate will just continue. So, really, my hate comes from my love of an end to hate. So anyone who hates my hate hates love. And we must hate anyone who hates love!
My Morality
My own personal hypocrisy; When I was a lot less well off financially, delivering pizzas trying to get through college, I kept a cup of coins in my car. When a homeless person would approach me for spare change, I gave them the cup. Most of the time it was nearly full, so there was probably 20-30 dollars in there.
Now that I have a good salaried job, even if I've got a few bucks in my wallet, I tend to not even make eye contact anymore. I know it's awful, I know it makes me crappy, but the last 4-5 years have made me a jaded craphead towards people in general. I used to be so hopeful and I wanted to help everyone, and tried to live a life that reflected that.
Now, while my general and political morality is pretty much the same, my personal morality has gotten more grey. I'd jaded, I hate people, I assume the worst of people I used to assume the best of. I don't really care about the strangers around me like I used to, but I still expect everyone else to.
Placing Blame
Victim mentality.
It's so freaking frustrating when it becomes entrenched. "You did this, it's your fault" "you should've known to do x, its your fault" Yeah bro your problems aren't my problems and if all you do is make excuses and blame me for them, it's not going to be my fault when you don't develop as a person and accomplish your dreams. I'm sure they'll find someone to blame though.
In D.C.
Donald Trump Reaction GIF by Election 2016GiphyPoliticians work part time, are given free housing, education, and health care, and exempt from the everyday violence we experience, but refuse to lift a finger to help us.
At this points most people running for a position in the government are only in it for the benefits of being a politician and the amount of money they can embezzle. Well in my country at least.
Just speak a truth and live it. Yes, it maybe hard. But what part of life isn't? Hypocrisy is just lying. Plain and simple. And it's a sin to lie.
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