It's one thing to be a foodie. It's another thing to put your life at risk because you're a little hungry and you want to be adventurous. How did our people learn what we could and could not consume? Who exactly discovered what seasonings paired perfectly with things? Who was the brave who learned for us that ketchup should always be on a fry? Deep thoughts friends. Deep thoughts.
Redditor u/maniacz2 had a really good life question we never really think about by asking.... What food has made you wonder, "How did our ancestors discover that this was edible?"
WTF?! Is correct!
Giphy
Kiviak - 500 Whole Auks (small bird) stuffed into a seal skin made air tight with the seals fat then left outside under rocks for 3 months.. mostly eaten on birthdays or at weddings.
Who the hell did this and thought "This will be a tasty snack in a few months?"
It's polite to eat it outside and it's considered good when it makes your eyes sting. It's never cooked and you just pull a bird out and start chowing down. WTF vj4
Don't be bitter....
Wild "bitter" Almonds have a significant amount of Cyanide in them. Whatever tribe in the Middle East that decided to keep breeding them and eating them anyway until they cultivated a non-poisonous cultivar was brave as hell. Or desperate. TofuDeliveryBoy
No, NO, Nonya...
This underground nut that is used in Nonya cooking. It's poisonous but you can eat it after it has been stored underground covered in ash for God knows how long. Buah kaluk I think it's called. BadUnker
Feel like I'm gonna ask what Nunya is and get a response like "nunya business kiddo." Amadeus420
I'm Flushed....
Hákarl.
It's made from sharks which usually are not edible. IIRC that's because they lack bladders, so all the nasty stuff accumulates instead of getting flushed out. Do your own research though, if you want to know for sure.
As a matter of fact, however, it can't be eaten unless you:
- gut and decapitate it
- bury it
- place stones on top to squish the shark and press the nasty stuff out
- leave it alone for 1-3 months
- dig out the corpse and cut it into stripes
- air the stripes for another 3-4 months
- remove the brown crust
Sounds delicious, huh? TheBoldMove
You're too Puffy....
Giphy
A bunch of people must have died from eating pufferfish and instead of stopping they just thought "Nah we just have to figure out exactly how to eat this thing." jonathanspicoli
In one prefecture they figured out that you can pickle fugu ovaries in rice bran for 3 years and it will remove the toxicity. I wonder if they just pickled the ovaries and had people periodically taste test it and when people stopped dying they were like, "Aight it's ok to eat." OMothmanWhereArtThou
Very Saffy....
Saffron, who the hell figured out that the stamen from a specific crocus flower, when picked and dried then steeped in warm liquids was going to be delicious? zowlingball
Easy. At first they wanted to extract the color and use it to dye stuff. Then they discovered that it also tastes good. Freevoulous
I'll take them scrambled....
Century eggs. Take duck eggs. Wrap them in hay and mud and ashes (legend has it horse urine used to be used too, because it's alkaline). Wait a few weeks / months. Break them open whereupon they are grey and jellylike and pungent smelling slightly of ammonia. Boil and eat.
I love them, but I really have to wonder who thought that eating them was a good idea in the first place. Or perhaps, how hungry they were that eating them seemed like a good idea. nogardleirie
Don't Swallow....
Cashew nuts. The shell is poisonous, the oil from the shell is poisonous, the nut is ok. If you pick one, shell it and eat it you will get a poison ivy type reaction everywhere it touched you.
Potatoes, the leaves are poisonous, the weird bubbly crap on the roots is fine, but only if you cook them. Wild potatoes can make you quite sick eaten raw. HoodsInSuits
Baking in the Woods....
The answer is always grains. I can't figure out how our ancestors discovered that prehistoric varieties of wheat or barley were edible. klod42
People probably saw an animal baking bread and figured it was safe to eat. OftheGates
Why poop?
Giphy
Civet coffee. Although more of a recent discovery (18th century). But who in their right mind decided, "I'm going to make coffee with this animal's poop!"?!! pommomwow
Arabian herders saw their goats eating coffee berries and acting energized afterwards. People began eating the berries. It took a long time before they learned to just boil the bean. DavidPT40
Pass the pepper....
Regular salt. You are eating a mineral. I get it that it was very critical to conserve meats back then but still I don't get how people can enjoy eating it or how the hell they figured it was edible and meat preserving. rodrigo_sth
Strawberries forever!
Giphy
Not so much edibility, but...lemme back up a little here.
When you see "natural flavors" in an ingredients list, it doesn't mean that the flavor represented actually came from the supposed source, just that the source is natural and not a man-made chemical (which would be artificial flavoring). Some natural grape flavor isn't from grapes, for instance, it's from mold.
With me so far? It gets even better.
One fairly common natural flavoring is strawberry flavor which is derived from the anal glands of beavers. So who was the first guy to eat a beaver's ass and say, "Hey, this tastes like strawberries!" 626c6f775f6d65
Starbucks thanks you....
Coffee,
Pick it, dry it. Roast it. Grind it. Boil water. Mix it. Filter it. Add milk. Add milk froth. Add sugar. Add hazelnut syrup. Drink before it gets cold. TheNewHobbes
Can you add butter?
Popcorn. I can only imagine there was a fire where corn was being stored... So basically by accident. Macaht
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCp59TLWmZI&vl=en-US
This was a kids book I read in like Kindergarten, and it stuck with me for way too long. All I had to do was google "kids book about native americans popping corn." I distinctly remember the page where they said that early natives thought that the kernels held a little demon that would get so angry that he blew up when heated. SammyMhmm
To the core.....
Giphy
As a french, cheese and wine. Two of our most renowned food items are basically rotten products. rakoo
You eat first....
Almonds. Originally poisonous... how does that even start? Carl died but before the afterlife he said they had a nice aftertaste. katkatkatkatkatkatt
I don't know why this is so low. People are saying cashews but almonds make the top nut list for me. Bgtex
That all sounds.... ummm....
Don't get me wrong, a bowl of moules mariniere with chips and a pint of good lager on the Mersea seafront is one of life's great pleasures.
But who the hell thought those black rock-dwelling weirdos would be edible? Creeeem
Shrooming all the way....
Every time I'm in the forest and picking mushrooms I wonder "how the hell did they figure out which one that was edible and which one was poisonous!?"
They must've learned it the hard way.. osktox
Every family has a least favorite child. PerilousAll
Chopped or Sauteed?
Onions! How can someone cut into something and with tears streaming down their face and eyes stinging, think "yep I bet this is safe to eat!" LeahMakesClothes
Probably didn't cut it in the First Place, they Would just bite in it. morre-jr
We're Doomed!
Giphy
Kimchee.
"Hey guys, I covered some cabbage in salt and buried it for 5 days"
"Barry, why the hell would you DO that?!"
"Wanna eat some with me?"
"God! It smells like pickled **holes!"
"......wanna eat some with me?"
"Hell yeah I do!"
How the hell is our species still alive? Penguin154
How many times have we all said... "I'll just eat it and see?"
Case in point...
Redditor rallfreedom wanted us to update Santa's deliveries for the children on the naughty list, they asked:
"Since Santa is old, and coal was considered worthless back in the day, what new worthless item could Santa give to naughty children in 2021?"
If you really wanted to set me off on Christmas morning, then you should leave me something personalized. Something you how I'd hate. Like a cassette tape of 80's Christian soft rock. That would make a statement of just how naughty I've been.
What a Difference
Blockbuster GIF by Big Potato GamesGiphy"Blockbuster gift cards." ~ GamerOfGods33
"And still no one will shop at the one franchise location still open." ~ pesto_trap_god
Discs
"AOL Internet discs... (actually getting rare these days)." ~ whorton59
"After collecting enough of those AOL discs, I just open a bottle of Tennessee whiskey and make AOL disc fish wall art." ~ ExRockstar
"I wish I still had the picture, but my friend passed onto me a photo of a chair (more like a throne, if I recall) made entirely of AOL discs." ~ PM_MeYourSmilingFace
Discharge
"Outdated phone chargers." ~ TheBrotherhoods
"A correct phone charger for the device, but it only works in one very specific angle and charges the phone super slow." ~ Karl_the_stingray
"People rave about how good old Nokias were but they forget that if you went up a version like you got upgraded to a 3310 from a 3210 then all your chargers were now something like 0.25mm too small and you had to buy all new ones." ~ erroneousbosh
Interpretations...
"We currently misinterpreted what 'naughty kids get coal' originally meant. For a poor family in December, coal was the difference between warmth and freezing, hot food and not. 'Coal' was not something mean. It was like socks, now." ~ adaza
"Exactly. If the child was selfless, they would get a personal gift as a reward. If the child was selfish, they instead would get a gift to be shared with the family, forcing them to be more altruistic." ~ MoobyTheGoldenSock
Necessities...
toilet paper help GIFGiphy"Toilet paper. Just like coal, it's something the whole house needs and will use but is going to be bought anyway. It's also consumable and practical just like coal." ~ NeverGetaSpaceship
I could still use toilet paper. You never know when society is gonna go off into the deep end again and buy it all up. Remember the beginning of Covid?
Spin
fidget GIF by Future GenerationsGiphy"Idk why but I feel like fidget spinners would be pretty infuriating to the masses of children as something that still counts as a gift but is for sure a let down & past trend." ~ mmaster42
Way back when...
"An "Introduction to Windows 95" book." ~ Actual_grass
"There's one of those package shipping stores near me that sells all kinds of miscellaneous stuff. Anything to make a buck. They have a carousel stand with laminated sheets containing tips on how to use various computer programs. Still for sale as of last week: 'Shortcut keys for Windows XP' and 'Tips for using Microsoft Word 2010.'" ~ dartdoug
All Yours...
"He could give kids one of the old cables that was collected over the years but wasn't thrown away because it could need it at some point." ~ CaptWeirdBeard
"I have a tupperware tote full of those things. I'll sell it to Santa for scap value of the copper. You hear that Santa? $5 and it's all yours." ~ GreatJanitor
Dial Up
"A rotary phone." ~ cannotbefaded
"My Grandma had a rotary phone she kept(still worked so why not) as well as having a cordless phone. Had a relative that wanted to use the rotary phone the one time just to use it instead, decided they didn't want to do that again." ~ golden_fli
"Okay, I actually like rotary phones. I was young enough to remember using rotary phones and preferred using them to touch tone phones. Only because it was fun to spin the dial and watch it spin back into place." ~ GreatJanitor
So close...
ronald mcdonald mcdonalds GIFGiphy"McDonald's toys from 2 years ago. Old enough to not be popular trends, but new enough to not be collector's items." ~ GavinSnowe
McDonald's still has toys? Who knew? And those fidget spinners, how did anyone ever enjoy those? That would set me off as well.
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They say your 30's hits different, like one day you're young a hopeful and the next day you're just WAY too old for this.
What is the "this" you're suddenly too old for?
No idea. It's different for everyone, but make no mistake, it'll happen to you too.
Maybe it already has?
Reddit user BMA1500 asked:
"What sh*t are you too old for?"
Let's take a look at how "too old" hit these Reddit users.
Internet Arguments
"Arguing with ignorant people on the internet."
- Brundleflyftw
"Amen!"
"I have no patience or bandwidth to argue with random a-holes on social. Learned that lesson a long time ago."
"Too many fakes and bots now anyway. I am pretty much a 'read only' user of other platforms and only share opinions in person on polarizing issues."
- grumpybaldguy
Games
"Petty games while talking to a potential partner."
"Just be straight up and real with me. Tricks are for kids."
- Squanch42069
"I've always felt this way."
"I remember when one of my girls explained the concept of 'playing hard to get' to me and I was annoyed just hearing it."
"If I have to chase you, that means you’re running away, and I don’t have time for that. If you seem uninterested, I’ll take it on the chin and leave you alone."
"If you like me just say that. If you don’t like me just say that. It’s not hard and moves the process along much faster."
"If you text me and I’m free, I’m going to text back. I’m not going to wait three hours for aesthetic purposes."
"The list goes on."
- -helpwanted
GiphyCut That Out
"This sounds like some Instagram motivational sh*t, but spending time around people that I genuinely don't like or who make me unhappy and uncomfortable."
"There's so short of a time we have on this Earth and it just hit me right before I turned 30 that I spent a ton of that time with people who I thought sucked."
"I cut that out and I'm much happier."
- PrairieBunny91
"BOOM!"
"I realized this at my cousins wedding. I had a family member walk up to me flat out call me ugly, fat and say that I wasn’t the “good” family guy anymore."
"What!?!? Why would you even say that?? And they said it with a smile on their face the whole time..."
"After that night I haven’t spoken to them in 2 years and I’m super happy! I’m too f*cking old to be dealing with that nonsense for the rest of my life."
- MuffinTrucker
GiphyExistential Crisis
"Drinking heavily."
"It takes days to recover now, and most bad hangovers come with an existential crisis attached."
- TheOptimumLemon
"Same."
"When I was young I remember times I'd have a day off from work and be like 'Hell yeah, I'm gonna get trashed and play video games all night it's gonna be great!' "
"Now it's like "Great, I'm 3 drinks in and I'm just tired & have heart burn.' "
"It's not the same."
- dont_panic21
"I used to work 12-9pm, party the entire night. And then be back to work like a pro."
"If this was a Friday, partying used to resume Saturday afternoon. That was my early 20s."
"In my 30s now, and I wait for Fridays so that I can be dead on my bed the entire Saturday."
- youngOldMonk
"The existential crisis is the worst. Just lying there wondering what the hell you are doing with your life, what came to this and when you are going to grow out of it."
"Then it passes and life goes on."
- Noggin-a-Floggin
GiphyNothing "General"
"General admission tickets. My old ass requires a reserved seat."
- sunflakie
"Hahaha… last gen admission show I went to I had to find a 'comfortable' wall to lean on."
- jmmorart317
"When it comes to music festivals, the wife and I go for VIP just so we can get fancier washrooms and shorter lines at the food trucks."
- VanillaGorilla
"I agree but, man, it makes feel like I’m a spectator at at a concert and not part of the real party down on the floor."
- MudIsland
GiphyAsk Yourself
"Facebook."
"There comes an age when you have to consider... 'Do I really care what kind of clickbait sh*t my high school friends who I never talk to and never will see, likes?' "
"I only had Facebook because it helped with socializing in college/high school, but afterwards it's really hard to want to add new friends because they can see your history, and you can too."
- chupalaw
"Honestly, the only reason why I have a Facebook is because I still have my mom as my friend and she passed 4 years ago."
"Every time I go on there, I'm tired now."
- mxnstrs
"I deleted Facebook three years ago."
"Found out all my Marine Corps buddies were either total idiots, painfully stereotypical post-9/11 veterans, ill-informed political junkies, and mostly people I haven't had anything to do with in years."
- combativewaifu
GiphyMoving
"Moving or helping other people move. Just no."
- Hasenpfeffer_
"I've moved a lot of times and have helped many people move."
"One of the best decisions I've ever made was hiring movers. 300 bucks for the big stuff is money extremely well spent."
- aigheadish
"I've broken my body helping people move because I'm the 'young and strong guy' in the friend group. Way too many times now. F*ck that sh*t, hire movers."
- Disastrous_Budget_11
"I can agree with this."
"I used to work as a mover for a couple summers and I don't even want to move myself lmao."
- bigelmn8r
GiphyNot The Cool Old Guy
"Tik Tok."
"I told myself when I get older I need to be open minded and not the close minded grumpy old man..."
"Then I see all these obviously staged videos and corny dancing/lip syncing stuff and realize it’s inevitable I am not gonna be the cool old guy."
- traws06
"I have this exact same process with TikTok."
"I think to myself, 'I’m really the bitter old woman I said I would never be, aren’t I?' Lol"
- moothemost
"I’ve downloaded TikTok at least 3 times and deleted it almost immediately."
"I am drawing a line at TikTok. I’m old."
- theslother
GiphySince We're Talking About TikTok...
"When Macy's Thanksgiving Parade performers are introduced as "TikTok sensation" without any other credentials worth mentioning."
- Foxhound199
"I think the only performer I knew yesterday was Kelly Rowland because of Destiny’s Child."
"My google search history is full of my confusion."
- independencedaffodil
"Oh man I’m so glad we missed the parade then. Maybe I’m just too old but that would’ve been cringe."
- takeoutthewitch
GiphyWhy Are We Screaming?
"People (mainly young girls) who scream for no reason."
"I understand if you're terrified of something, but screaming when you meet up with your friends or just when the situation does not call for it makes me SO mad. I find it so infuriating."
"Just shut up. Lol."
- CatReal7672
"My kids learned a very long time ago not to scream like that. I hate excessive loud noise in any environment, but it’s especially nerve wracking in close quarters."
"My Mother-in-Law will have a dinner every so often for the family to get together. My husbands brother’s kids are so freaking annoying like this."
"We’re having pizza? Scream."
"We’re baking cookies? Scream."
"Someone found you in hide and seek? Scream."
- bluegrassmommy
"I’ve been too old for that since I was 6. Shit was ALWAYS annoying."
- Zombifi3r
GiphyReal talk, apparently I'm *very* old going by the stuff on this list.
I'm gonna need to go sit with that for a bit... let me go turn on the seat warmer so my bones aren't stiff when I stand up later.
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