People Share Their Funniest 'Bro, Just Go Home' Moment
How many know-it-alls or one-uppers have you met in your life? The answer's probably quite a few, right? It's always a bore when you run into people like this and when you can spot how much they're trying to get the people around them to oooh and aaah from a hundred miles away.
After Redditor da_hammah1 asked the online community, "What was a 'Dude, just go home' kinda moment when you witnessed someone trying to impress people?" people came forward to share their stories.
We can't stop cringing.
"I had a guy pull up in the lane beside my car..."
I had a guy pull up in the lane beside my car on a motorcycle at a red light. He did this little wave and kissy smooch face at me and kept revving it up. When the light turned he tried to do a wheelie take off and ended up falling off. I stopped and asked if he was okay at which point he realized that I was old enough to be his mother. Still makes me laugh.
"She used to say..."
My best friend in high school used to come up with the most insane lies to be more interesting. She used to tell us her dad (who she had no contact with) owned multiple houses in an area similar to I'd say Malibu. She used to say she was a child model, and that her family opened the first Coke factory. It never stopped and a year after we graduated, she bought a ring at something like a dollar store and told everyone she was engaged to a model from the US (when we asked to see a photo, she used a stock photo from Google lmao) We constantly had second-hand embarassement.
"A bunch of residents came into the function suite..."
I was at a wedding on one of the islands far off the north west coast of Scotland. We were at the reception in a hotel, it was around 9pm, things were going well, everyone was having fun.
A bunch of residents came into the function suite, and most of them were fine. They kinda just disappeared into the mix, really. But this one lad...
The happy couple were amongst the last in our friendship group to tie the knot. Consequently, almost all of the women there were married. This one lad decided he was going to have a crack at pulling each woman. He went around the room, in sequence. When he crashed and burned with one, he'd go on to the next. Usually, the next was in earshot of the previous conversation.
He would use the same line on each lady: "Why have you come here, it's a total s***hole?"
Nobody gave him any grief, we were all in too good of a mood. And he was wrong: it wasn't a s***hole, at least not for a visit. Perhaps a bit limiting to live there, but for a visit it was lovely.
"We were all waiting for the bus..."
We were all waiting for the bus after school and this kid whipped out a guitar and sang a god awful remix of some Jason Mraz song to his love interest. It didn't help that his absurdly unkempt finger nails were used as his "guitar pick". It was a train wreck and I still violently cringe whenever I think about the poor girl just standing there trying to be polite throughout the ordeal.
"Well, it went a bit wrong."
I was in the smoking area of a busy bar with a friend of mine, and he started chatting up a girl. I was doing the usual small-talk with her friend - you know, the small-talk that has the subtext of "Well, those two are probably gonna bang, how about this weather we've been having huh?"
My drunk friend decided to do the condom trick to impress his new-found lady friend. The trick where you unroll a condom, snort it up your nose, and spit it out your mouth.
Well, it went a bit wrong. The condom went up his nose alright, and some of it managed to drop down into his throat, but the base of it stayed lodged somewhere around his sinuses. Within seconds, theatrical snorting gave way to uncontrollable coughing, choking noises, and then projectile vomiting that sprayed out his mouth and his one unblocked nostril, covering the table, a large area of floor, and (of course) his new-found lady friend.
Cleared the entire smoking room, got us both thrown out of the bar, and needless to say he did not get laid that night.
"We eventually convinced him..."
Two years ago at a four-day camping music festival, it was two or three in the morning and our group had made our way back to our campsite, sitting around and chilling for a bit before those of us who were turning in did so. Occasionally the group picks up hangers-on in the Forest, and for the most part they're cool people. This guy was being obnoxious, though, and I don't know who he was tagging along with. Perhaps that person had left again, and this guy felt he had found an audience.
He was on an inflatable sofa between a couple of others, the rest of the circle made up with camping chairs. Some people are sitting, some are walking around or going in and out of tents preparing to head back out.
He keeps asking people for topics to freestyle about. "Gimme a word, man. Or a thing. I'll freestyle about it. I'm good but I gotta get better, and you guys can help me practice."
He would just keep repeating that until someone humored him and give him a starting word. For the life of me, I can't remember a single one of the prompts he dragged out of us. But when he got one, it would always go the same way. He'd start improvising four or five syllable lines that included the initial word, then he'd get maybe one or two coherent lines after that which rhymed. Then he would just kind of fall into a mumble, not saying anything but keeping the rhythm he established. Occasionally words would bubble up out of the mumblemush, usually things that rhyme with his starting word.
After he'd run dry on a word, which never took long, he'd immediately start pestering someone else for a topic. Even when it was hinted at that we were after a quieter, calmer atmosphere, he just went, "Yeah man, that's cool, I get it. ...Gimme a word, man. I can freestyle about anything."
We eventually convinced him to go try to find his friends. But of the people who were around, no one was impressed, and everyone just wanted him to stop.
"He just took a sip..."
I went out with a group of my brother's friends one time and one of our group was a smarmy, frosted tip and pooka shells kind of douchebro. We were shown our seats at a Thai restaurant and a few of us are ordering wine. Douchebro is sitting across from me next to a girl and he's bragging about some bottle of wine he had recently (tangentially, I discovered years later - wine is one of my hobbies now - that this winery he was bragging about is just kind of okay). This girl is totally falling for all his crap. She's very impressed with the $30 bottle of wine that this guy said he had one time.
The server brings us our wine and he proceeds to put on this ridiculous performance with a $9 glass of cheap red wine - swirling it, holding it up to the light, sniffing it and then tasting it. He nodded - not sure if that meant the wine was good or bad - and then the girl asked him if he would taste hers and tell her what he thought. Surprisingly, he didn't do any of the swirling or sniffing with her wine. He just took a sip, set down the glass and put on his best thoughtful face. He then put his hand up, made magic fingers for a second and pinched the air with his thumb and two fingers.
"It's a bit...brighter?"
"I wanted to eat a bullet."
I was at a party in college and some dude started acting out some scene from the Dark Knight as the Joker in front of a bunch of confused girls. The movie had just come out a few months earlier, so it was pretty obvious what he was doing.
Everyone in the immediate vicinity stopped talking and we all watched this dude awkwardly act out a one-sided scene as Heath Ledger's Joker, after which he started trying to talk to the girls while still in character.
At one point he jumped up on a coffee table and one of the guys that apparently lived there, angrily yelled at him to stop and get off the table unless he "wanted his @ss beat". Clearly caught off guard, he finally breaks character, sheepishly says "oh..sorry...sorry" and awkwardly saunters off and sits down on a couch, trying to play it off like nothing happened.
I wanted to eat a bullet.
"He kept looking at people..."
Guy in an expensive looking suit, with an expensive looking haircut, carrying an expensive looking briefcase, pushing through a bunch of people at a bus stop (including elderly) while loudly talking on the phone about the "VIP accounts" he managed. He kept looking at people and smirking. When the light changed, he immediately charged across the street, saying something like "move, I'm more important than you" ... And he slipped on the road kill possum in the crosswalk, and put his hand in it.
"He thought it would be a good idea..."
I have a girl friend who is a lesbian. She is a beautiful woman. The number of guys who do not take "I only like women" as a no to their advances is staggering. I've been lightly assaulted twice when I've asked them to leave her alone. The most "go home" moment, though, has to be the time when a dude went up to karaoke the song "I kissed a girl" by Katy Perry to try and impress her after being shot down.
He thought it would be a good idea to switch the word "girl" with "guy".... for reasons? It was brutal.
"We were at a free outdoor concert..."
I swear this was like a scene out of a movie.
We were at a free outdoor concert in our downtown area (Night Ranger) and there was a VIP section roped off for the first few rows in front of the stage and an open area in front of the stage where some people were dancing. One drunk middle-aged-balding-potbellied guy decided it would be a fantastic idea to climb-up the 5-ft to the top of the stage and "join the band".
So he pulls himself up onto the stage, almost knocked over a mic-stand while he was standing-up, then turned around to the audience with this "Hey look at me everybody !!!" facial expression just as one of the crew-members appeared from behind the gave the guy a good shove.
It was hilarious because all I saw from where I was is homeboy going off the stage head-first but didn't see him landing on the asphalt-street below. Next thing I saw was the security guys helping this guy stand up (with his glasses all crooked on his face) and him looking like in the cartoons when somebody gets hit hard and they have those imaginary-birds or stars rotating around their head.
"Wanting to be the guy who can drink more alcohol than anyone..."
In college, the guy who claimed he could out drink anyone and lined up shots to prove it. We ended up carrying him home after he puked all over the table. He wasn't the only person I witnessed in this predicament. Wanting to be the guy who can drink more alcohol than anyone has always seemed like a weird life goal to me.
"This obnoxious dude..."
This obnoxious dude that I have mutual friends with is always desperate for attention. We were all camping recently and rented a pontoon and of course he 'had' to drive it. Well he intentionally was plowing through wakes because it was 'fun'. Well he hit one so hard the nose dipped and the boat took of a lot of water. Of course it didn't sink but it still infuriated the mother of the 6 month old that was ON BOARD with us. Needless to say he was not very popular for the rest of the weekend.
"I used to be quite good..."
I used to be quite good at (respectfully) chatting up women in bars. My best friend used to come with me and he'd constantly talk about himself and his family and have absolutely no idea how to read a situation or an audience. I remember once he just threw into a conversation about how he makes it his mission to not let women make him cum because of..... reasons? You could literally hear the vaginas drying up in a mile radius.
"I had started going to the gym..."
My dumbass in high school:
I had started going to the gym then and because of that (and a healthy dose of anime), I used to carry my backpack over my shoulder with one hand and would just have the other hand permanently inside my pocket.
I thought I looked cool. I didn't.
Anyway, I was going by the soccer field with a buddy and these group of girls were playing and they happened to kick the ball near me. I was by the goal post. Me still in my "cool posture" thought hey I'll kick the ball in the same posture. It'll look even cooler.
Not only did I miss spectacularly but I also caught my foot in the goal net and fell...with my hands in my pocket.
The girls laughed. My buddy pointed and laughed. I got up and decided I needed to go home.
"Watched an intoxicated man..."
Watched an intoxicated man play a 17 minute cover of Freebird in a (failed) attempt to impress a woman.
No, buddy, she doesn't want to come home with you.
"When my girlfriend and I were driving home..."
When my girlfriend and I were driving home and saw a guy doing shirtless standing pushups and taking flexing selfies on the steps of the church overlooking the main road during rush hour.
"Yeah we can all see you buddy. Wow so cool. He sure is sweating a lot." "Maybe he's so masculine his hairline got intimidated by him and hid on his back."
"Everyone was done with him..."
I studied IT for one semester. And during the "meet everyone" party we noticed that indeed we all looked and behaved rather nerdy, which was awesome. There were a few girls from the psychology department there as well and all of a sudden a guy comes in and immediately throws himself on the girls. When asked what he does he replied with: "I know you can't see it cause I actually take care of my body and my looks but I'm also in IT." Everyone was done with him for the whole night.
"Guy in the front row..."
Crowded college freshman history/religion class. Guy in the front row notices the chair (they're those weird desk/chair hybrid things) he sits in isn't in its normal spot. Rather than picking a different spot, he sits on the ground. The whole 2-hour period.
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Movies can mold who we are.
Some stories caught on film leave an impression that we take with us through our dying breaths.
That's why the arts and artists are so vital.
But there are some movies and specifically movie moments that can be to much to rewatch.
We may love the movie, but a certain scene may always be on the fast forward list.
Sometimes it's all too real.
Redditor KentuckyFriedEel wondered what movie moments have left scars for life, so they asked:
"Which movie scene is really hard to sit through and watch?"
The death of Artax in 'The Neverending Story.'
Scared me for life.
Stop Dialingvince vaughn beer GIFGiphy
"Swingers. Mike calling and leaving messages over and over for the girl whose phone number he got at the bar."
"Never. Call. Me. Again."
"Trainspotting. Specifically the scene where they wake up from their drug induced haze to find the dead baby. The decomposition effect made to look like they neglected to check on her for DAYS... Then their best and only response is to shoot up and get high again. Dull the pain. Just tragic."
"A very good portion of the original French version of Martyrs."
"That movie is both the definition of gore porn, but also a solid story that makes sitting through how uncomfortable it is completely worth it. It’s unfortunate that Hollywood somehow made a mostly shot for shot remake and completely ruined the movie."
"My housemate and I watched Martyrs and spent like the next three days talking about it, that movie was INTENSE."
"Green Mile. I leave when Mr Jingles chases the thread bobbin, and again for the execution scene gone wrong. I've seen both scenes once. Don't need to see that again."
"The book is as heart-wrenching as the movie. It's my all-time favorite Stephen King book, but it's tough to get through."
"When I saw that execution scene as a kid I was at a friend's house and decided to go home right there. Came back next day to finish it though cause didn't wanna get made fun of."
Just No!Bom Dia Hello GIFGiphy
"Annihilation. The bear quietly screaming. ‘Help me.'"
"Absolutely not, thank you."
Never saw that one. Maybe I'll take a peek.
Too ToughToni Collette Crying GIF by A24Giphy
"Hereditary. Watching the kid just pull up to the bed is pretty tough to watch. The scream by the mom the next morning is also pretty tough."
"I've never gone back and watched it again, because it skeeved me out so much, but that scene in Dr. Sleep, where the Shine Vampires are stealing all the shine from that kid through pain was ROUGH."
"I came here to say this. Jacob Tremblay practiced for months before the scene to be sure he could get it right. When the time came to shoot it he did so well that all the Shine Vampires forgot their lines and struggled to finish the scene. The first time I saw it was pretty traumatizing."
"The shower scene in Schindlers List. It took me years to get through it, even though it ends up just being a shower and not a gas chamber. Also the Tony episode on the new Dahmer series. I was hysterical watching it and feel sick thinking about how much real people suffered because of him."
"I watched Schindlers List for the first and only time a few years ago and couldn't stop crying after."
"The scene in the SpongeBob movie where SpongeBob and Patrick dry up."
"I know this guy that loved movies and would give me all these high brow recommendations. One Saturday morning, I decided I wanted to watch a movie and was considering one of his recommendations. I watched the SpongeBob movie instead. And I made the right choice. Saturday morning is for cartoons."
War CrimesScreaming Matt Damon GIFGiphy
"Saving Private Ryan - when the German soldier is plunging the knife into Mellish."
"For me it is when the medic is dying after attacking the machine gun nest. All those soldiers standing around absolutely helpless."
"Oh God don't get me started. Only scene from a movie that gets my physically angry."
All good movies. All to never watch again.
Every person, and every relationship, is unique, and that includes what makes each partner deeply and truly happy, or annoyed.
Since all of us have our little quirks, it makes sense that our partners would enjoy some of them but not others.
But it's hard to tell how each behavior will be received.
Redditor HotWife_Aisha asked:
"What quirky thing does your partner do?"
"She makes this cute nasally 'hmm' when I get in bed after she's asleep. I don't know why but it makes me happy."
It's the Effort That Counts
"My wife never screws a lid back on a jar. She just gives the lid a 1/100th of a turn so that it just sort of, kind of, possibly latches just long enough to make it halfway from the counter to the fridge."
"She hoards gas station cups. The disposable ones. That most people would throw away."
"She's not re-using them, either. She just empties them in the sink and then leaves them next to the sink."
"I regularly go in and throw them away, but I think my record disposal at one time was like 15. Just chillin' in our bathroom."
What Personal Space?
"My wife is native Italian."
"Italians are weird. It's like they have ZERO concept of personal space."
"I, am a New Yorker. Personal space, is our thing. You don't get too close... you don't rub up on people on the Subways... you leave a little space between the person you are talking to."
"Italians, will get up like nose to nose with you. Stand RIGHT behind you. Like leaving NO space."
"Often I will be in the kitchen, making tea or something and I turn around and BAM, it's like my wife wants to stand in my shadow. Or I am getting something out of the closet, and back up, and BAM, she is like right there... trying to become ONE with me or something... instead of walking around, and just leaving that inch or two of personal space to allow movement."
"All her relatives are like this too. When they talk to me, it's like they are standing on my toes... that close. Like, back the f**k up a step or two. D**n, it's creepy."
It Gets Better Before It Gets Worse
"Any recently decluttered area becomes new grounds for more cluttering."
His Version is Better
"He cannot properly remember the lyrics to any song. And he insists on singing it his way even after he’s been corrected about the lyric."
"He stutters for a word, and when I give him the word he's looking for, he says, 'YES! THAT!' and goes on with what he was saying."
"She literally cannot stop dropping and breaking things like plates, sunglasses, etc."
"She's a really talented athlete and smart to boot but oddly clumsy. I think it's cute... But it gets expensive."
Make It an Experience
"He likes a special kind of spoon for his coffee."
"About two years ago, when I realized that our set of cutlery was missing several parts (where the h**l do they go?!) I bought a new one, but since the old cutlery was alright, just incomplete, I didn't throw it away. Now we have two sets of cutlery in the drawer, but always use matching ones for the table."
"Before that, my husband had complained that sometimes he won't find a clean teaspoon because they were either dirty or in the dishwasher, so I bought a separate set of six teaspoons that look different from both of our cutlery sets."
"We have also a few of these teaspoons that you sometimes find in the big teabag boxes of Ahmad Tea, which I drink daily, as a freebie. So all in all, there are four different kinds of teaspoons in our household."
"He only uses the fancier ones from the second set of cutlery for his coffee, because they look nicer, he says."
"He's never asked me for it, but he did mention it once when he was making coffee for himself."
"Since then, every time I bring him coffee, I make sure that it's served with his favorite kind of spoon. He's over 60 and some would regard it childish, but what's the harm in considering his preference?"
"One day I went to kiss my wife and she just started breaking out laughing. She tried and tried to keep a straight face to kiss me back but couldn’t."
"When she could finally contain her laughter enough to talk, she asked, 'What if I just blew into your mouth when you tried to kiss me?'"
"Just the thought alone had her in stitches for a solid minute. Predictably, she blew into my mouth when I went to kiss her after this exchange. That was a couple of years ago and she still does it here and there, but not often enough that I keep my guard up. It catches me off guard every. Single. Time."
"Anyway, she’s hilarious and I love that she keeps me on my toes!"
Comfy Blanket Burritos
"She wraps herself in a blanket and adorably says that she’s a burrito."
Cute Ulterior Motive
"Every time SHE wants to do something, she will say it in the form of a question directed towards me."
"Like, 'Hey, do YOU want to have a bite of one of these cookies?'"
"Or, 'Babe, do YOU want to try this wine?'"
"I don’t actually think she realizes she does it every time."
"To clarify, this isn’t a bad thing. It just makes me laugh every time before I inevitably say, 'Yeah, sure.'"
That One Time...
"When she’s telling a story and says 'the other day,' it can mean any time from this morning to five years ago."
"He talks to himself. Homeboy's internal monologue is external."
"It's kinda nice never having to wonder what he's thinking."
The Good Outweighs the Bad
"The annoying thing: uses every knob as a hanger for some bag or kitchen towel. Every time I have to use a drawer, I have to move something."
"The cute thing: she is very excited about the little things in life. We went on a walk today with rain boots to jump in each puddle on the way."
Every person has their own little set of quirks that makes them truly themselves.
Some of these actions might prove to be annoying to some people, but to just the right person, it might prove to be their favorite thing about their other half.
The amount of shows that have aired in the history of television is a lengthy one, and the ones we know of are the ones that have been picked up by the networks.
There are tons of other ideas that have been pitched that have not seen the light of day and some that have been produced and presented as pilot episodes but eventually scrapped due to a variety of reasons.
The ones that have come to fruition but caused an uproar were mentioned when Redditor Future-Game asked:
"What is the most controversial TV shows of all time?"
Shows pushing the envelope were so risqué. Some aged well over time. Others didn't.
"I don't know about all time but the time it aired here in Canada, the original Degrassi High series. They covered so many topics that weren't really covered on mainstream shows back then. Even still somewhat taboo today. And everyone my age watched it and talked about it the next day."
"When Ellen Degeneres's character came out as gay on her sitcom, there was a f'king firestorm."
"Believe it or not the comedy SOAP was highly controversial when it premiered in the late 70s. It's done by the same people who did GOLDEN GIRLS. SOAP is so tame by today's standards a ten year old could watch it."
"I like South Park as an answer, but if we are talking about pushing boundaries, Chappelle's show at least deserves a mention. The Black, White Supremacist alone was wild to see on TV, and it was the first episode of the show to air."
Reality bites. So did these reality competition shows.
Trash Talk Show
"Jerry springer, what a sh*t show."
When Looks Are Everything
"The Swan - a show about generally average, everyday women with low self esteem (due to a variety of factors), receiving plastic surgery and whole makeovers. Every episode would feature two ladies and a "winner" would be decided between them. At the end of the season, all of the winners would be put in a pageant to compete and see who would be dubbed 'The Swan'"
"Takeshi's Castle / MXC wasn't exactly controversial at the time, but the production of that show seems awfully exploitative by today's standards (and for the English dub, horribly stereotypical and downright racist at times). We've since watered it down severely with versions like Wipeout, but the real ones know what the lineage of shows like that is."
Ultimate Exploitation Of Privacy
"Big Brother. How about we mix the worst people with the most exploitative form of entertainment whilst also casually normalising invasion of privacy."
Just because it was family friendly didn't mean everyone approved.
"Sesame Street - When this show debuted in 1969, TV channels in the southern US refused to air it because it’s racially mixed group of children playing together was too controversial."
Beavis And Butt-Head
"Surprised I haven't seen Beavis and Butt-Head on this list yet. When it came out everyone was freaking out."
"Southpark, we went from outrage at Bart saying "eat my shorts" to Cartman feeding children their parents."
"I mean swearing on TV was less prominent , then Southpark pushed that forward quickly as well, all of a sudden "A**" and "Bullsh*t" were on standard TV."
Every now and then a show comes out and sends audiences clutching their pearls.
But sometimes, even an episode from a relatively tame TV show can send viewers reeling with topical moments.
Examples of this include the much-hyped same-sex kiss on Melrose Place in the 90s that was ultimately edited to imply the act and the One Tree Hill arc that explored school shootings–which was considered daring and admirable at the time for addressing a malaise that continues plaguing the US today.
There are few feelings more frustrating and disappointing than realizing that a job simply isn't a good fit.
To some people, a job is a job, so they'll force themselves to go to work to earn the paycheck until a better job comes along.
Others however will come to the decision that the pay, be it big or small, simply isn't worth the monotonous, soul-sucking, or downright toxic atmosphere they need to report to, and quit with no prospects in sight.
Most people do this after a few months, or even a year, giving ample notice so as not to burn bridges or potentially harm their reputation.
Then there are the extreme cases, who leave the office for the very last time on their very first day, never looking back and not having one ounce of doubt or guilt about their decision.
"Anyone here who decided to leave their job on the first day? What made you decide to run right away?"
"They wanted us to make our first sales to friends and family members."
"If your first option is for me to make money off the people I care about most, there's really nowhere to go but down (morally)."- Mxysptlik
Thrown Into The Deep End
"They sent me to a room to do a bunch of on-boarding paperwork and those incredibly dull orientation videos companies love so much."
"Less than 10 minutes into it the manager comes in and tells me they need to cover the sales floor immediately because I was the only person for the department that day."
"No training, no computer logins, no idea where anything in the building was or who any of the dozens of other people wandering around were or even what was really expected of me."
"Just go and solo a department that usually had between five and eight staff at any time."
"I gave it a shot for like 45 minutes, and realized the whole place was staffed by miserable entitled f*cks who went out of their way to avoid work."
"I just walked out without saying anything."- SlothOfDoom
Being More Knowledgable Than Your Bosses
"I'm a fish hobbyist and I got a job in the fish department at PetCo."
"On my first day they wanted me to take out all the rocks (substrate) from each tank, scrub them and put them back in the tanks, one tank at a time."
"Moving substrate releases bad bacteria and can get the fish sick or kill them."
"I explained this to them and said that it was best to just do a water change for 20% of each tank."
"They said, basically, sorry this is what corporate says and you have to do it."
"I was like, 'Okay, I'll do it after lunch'."
"I never came back from lunch."- adura_groundedUnder The Sea GIF by Super SimpleGiphy
Not Honoring Their Contract
"They lowered the rate from what was agreed upon and became upset when I spoke up about it."- Wonderful-Job3514
"There was an assistant manager whose only job seemed to be pacing around behind us during lunch rushes, repeating in a dull monotone, 'c’mon, let’s make those burgers. C’mon, let’s go faster, make those burgers'.”
"When I didn’t make burgers fast enough because my only training consisted of watching a 30-minute video, the manager sneered, 'why don’t you just go wash dishes, then? You CAN wash dishes, can’t you?'"
"That’s when I walked off the job."- LanceGannon
And You Thought YOUR Boss Was Horrible...
"I didn't even last a full shift."
"It was Pizza delivery."
"It was the early 90s; I was 20 M[ale]."
"My first shift was in torrential rain, driving a 1967 VW Beetle (with a flat windscreen)."
"Two orders required me to go back because the pizzas weren't the ones ordered."
"Then I arrived back to see that one of the other drivers had been shot in the leg with an air-rifle by Ricky the Shift-Manager.
I started at noon."
"Quit at 8.30pm."
"Can't remember if I was ever paid; didn't care."- EvilBoschanna faris pizza GIF by Overboard MovieGiphy
Knowing Their Self-Worth
"I was a car mechanic fresh out of school, hit up a local shop that hired."
"Their working conditions were trash, I bailed after the first day."
"Second one wasn't much better, in fact it was far worse, but I saw more potential in the work and needed the experience."
"It was a privately owned bus company that needed a mechanic to service their sh*t."
"It was the middle of winter and the garage had no heat, it was badly equipped, no car jacks so laying on the cold ground, etc."
"Also as it turned out, the fleet consisted of brand new buses that had to be serviced at the dealership to maintain the warranty, so I had no work whatsoever."
"Instead the guy wanted me to do basic maintenance work around the HQ."
"Mind you it was so cold outside that in 10 minutes I couldn't feel my fingers and if I went inside the main building to heat up, he complained that I wasn't working."
"Caught pneumonia after just 3 days, went back a week later when I was feeling better and quit."
"Third time was the charm."- DangerousTrashCan
And Yet, They Don't See A Problem?
"We hired someone to work at a freezer warehouse and he only showed up for one shift."
"He seemed ecstatic about the pay (20/hr for basic material handling, picklines, etc) but seemed to realize that humans hate being treated like machines and that's simply not worth it so we never saw him again."
"He was not the only one."
"My favorite time is when my manager hired 18 new people because he fully expected 80% of them to flake and not show the next day."
"Sure enough, only 3 even showed up."- ASaltyBiscuitseason 8 warehouse GIFGiphy
Did They Actually Think They'd Get Away With It?!?
"Was supposed to be an office job, straight salary."
"Got there the first day and it turned out to be door to door sales, commission only."
"Not even people who had expressed interest."
"Just literally cold calling but in person at their door instead of on the phone."
"Didn't even stay to hear the end of their explanation of how really if you think about it this is the job they advertised and interviewed me for, just better because..."
"I don't know, some bullsh*t, as I said, I had left by then."- Zer0Summoner
Not Once, But Twice
"I actually did this twice."
"The first time was because I was a college student and needed a job to pay rent."
"Got a job working in a new call center that had opened up in my home town."
"It was awful.""The atmosphere was toxic, the boss was a horrific a**hole, and there were all sorts of shitty 'metrics' and goals, etc. you had to reach."
"I just never went back after the first day."
"Called them the next morning and told them it wasn't for me."
"The second time was a deal where I interviewed for a job that I was pretty excited about where I was going to be leading a team dealing with advocating for some issues in international politics."
"I was super excited."
"The interviews I had were done in a cafe."
"They sent me the address of the office and I arrived for my first day and it was some decrepit, barely standing office with the most outdated computers and office equipment."
"The 'team' I was going to be leading had been referred to as 'a small team' in the job interviews."
"In reality it was one lady who didn't speak either of the languages I speak."- mejok
Third Time Definitely Wasn't The Charm
"$20 for parking wasn't included in for being an employee."
"This was when min wage was 11.50.so you work 2 hour and pay your employer."
"Another place I worked open kitchen caught fire."
"All the customers could see this."
"They didn't make anyone leave."
"They kept putting food out!"
"They expected me to clean up their now burnt kitchen."
"Nope nope nope."
"Another place had defrosted chicken by leaving it outside of the fridge over night."
"On the floor."
"During the summer."
"Rats scurried away from it when we turned on the light."
"Called the safety department on that one."- Elfere
Inconsistent Would Be An Understatement
"Slowly started changing the terms of employment during the day."
"Started off '10 hour days 5 days a week £8/hour'."
"Shifted to 'sometimes you have to work weekends too'."
"Then 'actually it's crunch season right now so we're going to expect you to work Saturday and Sunday this week."
"Then 'actually we'll need you to stay Saturday and Sunday most weeks'."
"Then 'You'll be working Saturday and Sunday for the foreseeable future'."
"Then 'We'll need you to stay a few hours after work today'."
"Then 'Actually you'll be working 12-14 hours a day 7 days a week for the next 6 months'."
"Yeah nope."- NewRoundEreBye Bitch Get Out Of My Face GIF by Becky GGiphy
We've all had jobs we've hated, which we muddle through just for the money.
However, one's self-worth is always more important than a paycheck.
And when you notice your self-worth or safety being threatened, always best to act on it immediately.