Gift giving is a year round joy to the world. Christmas, birthdays, Halloween... flag day. Who cares! As long as there is some spiffy wrapping paper and a receipt for return, all is well.
Unless of course you receive some gifts that make your jaw drop and question the relationship you have to your gift giver.
Giphy
Reditt user mrsik187 posed the question...
Y'all, what are some of the worst gifts you've ever received, especially from family?
Giphy
The response? Brace yourselves.
I had mentioned to my uncle one year that I wished I could grow a beard like his. Come Christmas time my uncle hands me the present he got me. I unwrap it and what do you know...It's his beard in a Ziploc bag. ainen
Imagine if they wished for wanting a heart as big as his?
A wooden pop out play set from my aunt, recommended age was 2-4, I was 14. PlatinumAmphibian
A giftcard to a lingerie store from my grandma. The messed up part wasn't the gift itself, but the fact that she made my poor 19 year old brother go in and buy it. As he told it, the conversation went something like this: Cashier: "shopping for your girlfriend?" Brother: "no, my sister...well my grandma..." Awkward silence... handikat
Giphy
In the late 70's, all the cool kids wore Ocean Pacific brand clothing. We were kinda poor so my mom and grandma made most of our clothes. My grandma made me pants and hand stitched the letters O and P on the pockets. Looked nothing like the real thing. I had to wear them. deleted
Like Dolly's "Coat of Many Colors" sings, pockets of many letters can soar.
I didn't see my grandpa THAT often as a kid. So whenever he bought presents for me and my brothers they were always the cliche, "terrible grandparents gifts."
One year, I remember he got me this INCREDIBLY freaky porcelain jester baby sitting cross-legged on a pillow. When you wound up the key on the back, it would slowly start spinning at the hips while playing a song from a tiny internal music box. It made the best torment fuel against my brothers for a long time though. So that was good. PermanentMoccasins
Giphy
It was a shirt that had "I'm not a gynecologist but I'll take a look anyway". It was from my stepdads mom. She knows I want to be a doctor and her English is no bueno. I found it hilarious. Once we translated it to her she almost cried from embarrassment. I proudly wore it for the rest of the day. wheelchair_boxing
Then sometimes you have to admit there is a time and place for everything.
I got a book called "Coping with Being Adopted" from Santa while I was in high school. Was news to me.... AngryCyclops
Giphy
I was dating this girl. She knew I was self conscious about my teeth (I have fluorosis), so I wouldn't smile very much. When I did, I'd try really hard to hide my teeth. Well, this girl's family bought me a toothbrush. It even had my name on it. dark_not_evil
Giphy
I got a bucket.. just a bucket. Leakingcircuit
Buckets can be useful in so many ways. Just ask Jack & Jill. Oh wait.
Not me, but one year my cousin gave my mom a box of tampons. She's in her 60s and well past menopause. It definitely made for an awkward Christmas. triggerheart
When I was 8 I got a lighter from my grandmother...
I am not done yet.
On the lighter was a marijuana leaf and it said "Natures way of staying high"
My grandmother had thought it was a cartoon of a plant giving a high-five, and I thought it said "Natures way of saying high" with "high" as in "hi" with a plant hand.Approvingcanadian
Okay, that can be pretty awesome, depending on who you ask.
My parents always did a Christmas auction at their house with little gifts and silly ones. I spent $700 monopoly money on frozen cat crap. frogginfish
Giphy
A week before I married my husband, his older sister got me a gift bag of lube :|
...and I had to return it cause I checked the ingredients and was allergic to ALL of them. There was no moment in my life quite as embarrassing as having to return a full gift basket of like a dozen different types of sexual lubricant to the little old lady at Target. ReservoirKat
My grandparents are notorious regifters. there was this old, broken pinball game thing that everytime they'd gift to one of us, we'd leave it at their house. then they would find it and gift it again in a couple years, like we'd forgotten. one time they gave my mom three wine glasses. one was chipped. jacksonvstheworld
Giphy
Sometimes you don't always get what you want, BUT, you may just get what you need. Example :
I was not the recipient of this gift but my uncle, who had 6 children at the time, was given a very large box of condoms from my aunt (his sister) . My cousins were not impressed. 1-forest-1
The Christmas after i started my period my parents gave me a super plus economy sized pack of maxi pads. blindtobeauty
Giphy
My wife's grandmother is a complete narcissist, and one year she gave everybody in her family, including kids under the age of 10, handmade tree ornaments with a picture of herself in the middle. This was so "no one would forget their grandmother at Christmas." It's been 20 years, but I still make my wife hang it since I find it hilarious. Never in my life have I seen a single object capture the whole of someone's personality so completely. It's like we own her grandmother's soul. compuhyperglobalmega
Well nobody wants to be forgotten.
This wasn't my gift, but it was the most awkward situation ever. So a few years ago my grandma had her legs amputated. Don't feel bad, since then, her health has improved a ton. Anyway, last Christmas my Aunt bought her socks. It was sooo awful. datcat2
Giphy
And Sometimes a boy just likes to draw.
I'm a guy and when I was about 12 my older cousin bought me a butterfly catcher. I didn't hide my confusion well, so she explained she thought I was gay. I'm not gay I just liked drawing. bante
I received a dictionary from my parents with the price sticker was still stuck on it, they bought it for 5 dollars. I wasn't even mad I didn't get anything the year before. AnAverageAsianGirl
Language is important, no matter the cost!
My ex-gfs mother bought me a thong with an elephant face and a long trunk and asked me to send a picture of me wearing it. joblo619
Giphy
Two years ago, I opened the lone present under our tree. It was big, so naturally bigger presents make up for fewer ones so I never gave it any thought. Inside was a suitcase. I was quite confused, until they told me to be out of the house by March.
Merry Christmas. shaybryder
Well at least they were willing to help pack?
Let's all just do gift cards this year. OK?
H/T : Reddit
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
Away Messages
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"
GiphyThe Unknown
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."
GiphyThe Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."
GiphyFiguring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."
GiphyEndless Learning
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"
GiphyMaking Friends
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."
GiphyA Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
- tsoldrin
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
- dramboxf
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."
GiphyGo Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
- dienices
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."
GiphyIt Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."
GiphyWe Used To Love Yahoo
"Yahoo Answers"
"Yahoo Pool"
- inaclick
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."
GiphyOn a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
GiphyThe video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
Partner Preference
Giphy"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
Herding Cats
Giphy"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
Wretched Existence
Giphy"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
One Hour
Giphy"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" Exercise
Giphy"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
Vicious Predators
Giphy"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic Princess
Giphy"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
Shoe-nanigans
Giphy"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
Want to "know" more?
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.