It may seem counter-intuitive to give somebody a passive aggressive gift, but for those of us who have lived or been friends with somebody who lacks basic skills in a specific area, they can actually prove quite useful.

Such areas include hygiene, housekeeping, nourishment, any number of life skills. Really, we are providing a service with these gifts.

u/ursinedin asked:

What's the best passive aggressive gift to give?

Here were some of those answers.

More Hygiene Please!


Visited my girlfriend for the first time in our relationship for Christmas. I've met her mom a handful of times. Sure enough at Christmas she got me a gift. Really surprised because she hardly gets anyone outside of her family gifts. Open it up and it was one of those Axe boxes that had shampoo, body wash, spray and deodorant. Yeah. I got the hint. Weird thing was I showered every single time I went to her house. Because hygiene is essential in front of your girlfriend and her mom. Apparently not good enough.


Color Critique

My mum went through a phase where the majority of her clothes were this mustard colour, so for Christmas my stepdad got her a bottle of mustard. I hadn't laughed that much in ages


I love it. How did she react?


She just kinda sighed and gave him a look that basically said "why do you do this" while we were pissing ourselves laughing haha! We still bring it up sometimes, at this point she's accepted that she'll be forever mocked and laughs along


Or "For Dummies"

If the person has a hobby they frequently engage in and are passionate about, give them a book on it For Beginners


For my sixteenth birthday, my "friend" got me a copy of Magic for Beginners. I had been performing magic shows since I was thirteen, and had just done my highest-paying gig ever. Joke was on him, though. It turned out to be one of my favorite props. Whenever I made a mistake on stage, I would pull out that book and get a huge laugh. captainmagictrousers

Daddy Pence Donated

Make a charitable donation in their name. Bonus points if made to a charity they'd never support.


Fun fact, after the 2016 American presidential elections, planned parenthood got a ridiculous number of donations, all from "Mike Pence", who is extremely outspoken against the organization. (Sorry if seems biased, tried to stay apolitical)


Gift Wars Episode IX: The Rise Of Fruitcake

Second best passive-aggressive: a 99 cents closeout ugly sweatshirt that is the wrong size, given as a xmas gift.

'#1 best passive-aggressive: same as above (same exact sweatshirt, color and all), the following xmas.

My first wife's mother did that to me. She could afford a lot more than 99 cents. Must have been a BOGO sale.


There was that other askreddit thread on worst presents where a some guy talked about his aunt and uncle who hated each other's guts

Every year they tried giving each other the worst present they could

One year she gave him this ugly-ass dollar store christmas fruitcake

The next year, he won by gifting the exact same cake back to her.


I Got The Message, Pops

When I was in the fifth grade my teacher was handing out books in class to people who ordered them from the yearly book sale. I was surprised when he placed a book face down on my desk because I didn't order one. My teacher gave me a pat on the shoulder and then walked away. I flipped the book and it was titled "How to raise difficult boys: a guide for new age parents". Turns out my dad ordered it...

He still keeps it on his night stand to this day.


Kind Of A Jerk Move

My mother asked me in early March if I would be taking her out for Mother's Day...which was two months away.

I told her I don't know, I'm in the middle of moving- driving lessons start in May- and I'm trying to save money but I couldn't predict what two months away would look like. She became very short with me like "mmhmm. Ya. K." because I didn't have some grand thing already planned for her two months out.

A week later I get a package in the mail.

It's (very stale) sour gummies with a giant DISCOUNT sticker on the box and box of "Deadpool card against humanity" with another DISCOUNT sticker plastered on it. For more context, every Christmas we play cards against humanity. It's the only game my mom can't cheat at as she regularly would be caught trying to cheat at other games we tried to play. She knows also I really have no way of playing cards against humanity at home since its just me and my fiance and we have very busy lives. so the game has been the defacto "holiday game" to play with my mom.

I texted her confused "Thanks for the package?" and she said 'Yup. Happy Birthday." and I was more confused.
"My birthday isn't until June?" and she replied "Oh well, I don't know how busy I will be in June. Kinda like you don't know how busy you will be in May. so I figured I'd just get your birthday out of the way now."

Yup, that's my mom.


The Victorians Knew How Best To Handle Their Dislike

If you know Victorian flower language, there is actually a way to say "f*ck you" in flowers. I'd have to go look it up again, but it's actually a thing.


Orange lily seems to mean "I hate you."


Just Work Harder

I used to have a relative (now deceased) who had a thing for giving gifts that require effort. Once, she gave me this Amish friendship bread starter that you had to, like feed, knead, and regulate the temperature of for 10 days, and then break off half and give to someone else whose life you want to needlessly complicate.

Another time she gave me a kit to grow some kind of gourmet mushroom that required an equal amount of time and dedication. I think I got one mushroom from it once it was over.

It's not that I don't like making things - I totally do. But at that time, I was working and raising two pre-schoolers and I barely had time to tie my shoes, let alone tend to the care and feeding of a needy ball of dough or a fungus-growing experiment.


It IS Still John Stamos

Get a hundred dollar bill autographed by someone they like enough that it'd be a hard choice if they wanted to spend it or not. Like don't go over board with it. Maybe someone like John Stamos. Nobody is really psyched for a John Stamos autograph, but it is John Stamos.

[username deleted]

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