It may seem counter-intuitive to give somebody a passive aggressive gift, but for those of us who have lived or been friends with somebody who lacks basic skills in a specific area, they can actually prove quite useful.
Such areas include hygiene, housekeeping, nourishment, any number of life skills. Really, we are providing a service with these gifts.
u/ursinedin asked:
What's the best passive aggressive gift to give?
Here were some of those answers.
More Hygiene Please!
GiphyVisited my girlfriend for the first time in our relationship for Christmas. I've met her mom a handful of times. Sure enough at Christmas she got me a gift. Really surprised because she hardly gets anyone outside of her family gifts. Open it up and it was one of those Axe boxes that had shampoo, body wash, spray and deodorant. Yeah. I got the hint. Weird thing was I showered every single time I went to her house. Because hygiene is essential in front of your girlfriend and her mom. Apparently not good enough.
Color Critique
My mum went through a phase where the majority of her clothes were this mustard colour, so for Christmas my stepdad got her a bottle of mustard. I hadn't laughed that much in ages
I love it. How did she react?
She just kinda sighed and gave him a look that basically said "why do you do this" while we were pissing ourselves laughing haha! We still bring it up sometimes, at this point she's accepted that she'll be forever mocked and laughs along
Or "For Dummies"
If the person has a hobby they frequently engage in and are passionate about, give them a book on it For Beginners
CavalishFor my sixteenth birthday, my "friend" got me a copy of Magic for Beginners. I had been performing magic shows since I was thirteen, and had just done my highest-paying gig ever. Joke was on him, though. It turned out to be one of my favorite props. Whenever I made a mistake on stage, I would pull out that book and get a huge laugh. captainmagictrousers
Daddy Pence Donated
Make a charitable donation in their name. Bonus points if made to a charity they'd never support.
Fun fact, after the 2016 American presidential elections, planned parenthood got a ridiculous number of donations, all from "Mike Pence", who is extremely outspoken against the organization. (Sorry if seems biased, tried to stay apolitical)
Gift Wars Episode IX: The Rise Of Fruitcake
Second best passive-aggressive: a 99 cents closeout ugly sweatshirt that is the wrong size, given as a xmas gift.
'#1 best passive-aggressive: same as above (same exact sweatshirt, color and all), the following xmas.
My first wife's mother did that to me. She could afford a lot more than 99 cents. Must have been a BOGO sale.
There was that other askreddit thread on worst presents where a some guy talked about his aunt and uncle who hated each other's guts
Every year they tried giving each other the worst present they could
One year she gave him this ugly-ass dollar store christmas fruitcake
The next year, he won by gifting the exact same cake back to her.
I Got The Message, Pops
When I was in the fifth grade my teacher was handing out books in class to people who ordered them from the yearly book sale. I was surprised when he placed a book face down on my desk because I didn't order one. My teacher gave me a pat on the shoulder and then walked away. I flipped the book and it was titled "How to raise difficult boys: a guide for new age parents". Turns out my dad ordered it...
He still keeps it on his night stand to this day.
Kind Of A Jerk Move
My mother asked me in early March if I would be taking her out for Mother's Day...which was two months away.
I told her I don't know, I'm in the middle of moving- driving lessons start in May- and I'm trying to save money but I couldn't predict what two months away would look like. She became very short with me like "mmhmm. Ya. K." because I didn't have some grand thing already planned for her two months out.
A week later I get a package in the mail.
It's (very stale) sour gummies with a giant DISCOUNT sticker on the box and box of "Deadpool card against humanity" with another DISCOUNT sticker plastered on it. For more context, every Christmas we play cards against humanity. It's the only game my mom can't cheat at as she regularly would be caught trying to cheat at other games we tried to play. She knows also I really have no way of playing cards against humanity at home since its just me and my fiance and we have very busy lives. so the game has been the defacto "holiday game" to play with my mom.
I texted her confused "Thanks for the package?" and she said 'Yup. Happy Birthday." and I was more confused.
"My birthday isn't until June?" and she replied "Oh well, I don't know how busy I will be in June. Kinda like you don't know how busy you will be in May. so I figured I'd just get your birthday out of the way now."
Yup, that's my mom.
The Victorians Knew How Best To Handle Their Dislike
If you know Victorian flower language, there is actually a way to say "f*ck you" in flowers. I'd have to go look it up again, but it's actually a thing.
Orange lily seems to mean "I hate you."
Just Work Harder
I used to have a relative (now deceased) who had a thing for giving gifts that require effort. Once, she gave me this Amish friendship bread starter that you had to, like feed, knead, and regulate the temperature of for 10 days, and then break off half and give to someone else whose life you want to needlessly complicate.
Another time she gave me a kit to grow some kind of gourmet mushroom that required an equal amount of time and dedication. I think I got one mushroom from it once it was over.
It's not that I don't like making things - I totally do. But at that time, I was working and raising two pre-schoolers and I barely had time to tie my shoes, let alone tend to the care and feeding of a needy ball of dough or a fungus-growing experiment.
It IS Still John Stamos
Get a hundred dollar bill autographed by someone they like enough that it'd be a hard choice if they wanted to spend it or not. Like don't go over board with it. Maybe someone like John Stamos. Nobody is really psyched for a John Stamos autograph, but it is John Stamos.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.