Build-A-Bear Employees Explain The Weirdest Thing A Customer Has Ever Requested

Build-a-Bear Workshops have been delivering smiles for over 20 years in the form of customizable teddy bears. Each one can be a wonderful expression of love, or a memory for someone to hold onto for forever. With an array of customization you would never expect customers to take advantage and bring in weird and creepy items to stuff their bear with...
...or that's exactly what people do.
Reddit user mttp1990 wanted to know:
Employees of Build-A-Bear. What is the weirdest thing a customer has requested?
Sing Out.
"I was not an employee but I interviewed. It was a group interview and they asked us all questions. Toward the end they asked us individually if we wanted to sing a song but stressed we didn't have to."
"Only employees who sang moved on in the interview process."099uyx
The Monkey.
"Not an employee but at the one in the mall near me the employees told me that a lady would come in with her pet monkey that she treated as her child. She used it as a clothing story for the monkey. She also tried to sue the local school district into letting the monkey attend but was unsuccessful."GMHGeorge
"Stop telling me to make a wish."
"My mom and I are both adults and we both like stuffed animals. My mom wanted a lion from Build-a-bear a long time ago and the employee wouldn't let her finish making her look until she made a wish on the heart. The strangest request she probably ever got was, "Stop telling me to make a wish."
""EDIT: For those who are wondering, the woman would not let her continue without doing the Heart Ceremony and my mother told her she 'reserved the right to make a wish later' so we were no longer being held captive by a woman with an unsewn lion. Frankly if it were me I would have complained to corporate that being condescending to adults lost them future business."
It's a shame because they do many animals where part of the proceeds go to the WWF, including my mom's lion and a wolf I got later from the person I was dating at the time. Sometimes you just wanna get a stuffed animal and support the wild, you know? "Ivytongue
1 to 5.
"I interviewed for them last year - My hair was a very light blonde but I had dark roots so it was easy to tell it wasn't my natural color - Although it was a very natural color, my interviewer asked me if I could dye it black because it was unnatural and "parents would throw a fit." I told it wouldn't be possible because it took me months to get that blonde."
"She then proceeded to write the number one on a piece of paper. "This is what I have graded your interview on a scale of one to five." I didn't say anything and just walked out..."
"All because I didn't want to dye my hair black - oh and the hours? 10 hours a week while I went to school."lulalethal
PUMBA!!!
"My girlfriend and I were probably the weirdest group of the day at our local Build A Bear."
"We went to Build a bear for her birthday and the promotional live action lion king bears were on sale, so we decided to get the ugly live action Pumba bear. For those who have not seen him before, he is an absolute unit with lazy eyes and an evil smile. He knows the sins he's committed and he is not remorseful."
"Anyways we dressed him in nothing but a cowboy hat and marvel boxers, then named him Charles Entertainment Cheese. Oh and his voice box is also the Super Mario theme."
"I like to imagine that when I die, the only thing that will be there is just his face in an endless void while the Super Mario theme plays ominously in the background for eternity."
"The employees were super helpful but were obviously a little uncomfortable at how hard we were laughing at the creation of our stupid son." SuperOwnah
Since Maxine retired....
"I worked at BABW for 7 years and I don't know that any requests were super weird. We put recordings of deceased relatives, recordings of fetal heartbeats, pacifiers, and squeakers from dog toys in animals - okay, that one might be a bit strange - but the rest were usually very sweet, and touching moments, and sometimes exciting for the kiddo who was "graduating" from their pacifier."
"I did get called a lot of names when the holidays rolled around and we were out of the holiday animals (no longer an issue since Maxine retired and EVERYTHING was produced in ridiculous quantities, instead of limited ones). I was often asked to produce products we didn't have in stock, but that's retail."
"I think the weirdest experiences were helping kids dress their animals - some folks have interesting choices in outfits. I remember one little bear left our store in a tank top, undies, and heels (with bows on the ears, of course) - the owner of said bear was a 6 year old girl, but she stayed within her budget!"
"I actually loved irking (and working) there and if I had any free time or ever needed extra money, I'd probably go back."JDPip
The Pacifiers....
"Back when I worked a few years ago, I had a customer come in holding a bag of what looked like at least 10 pacifiers. She spread the pacifiers throughout the inside of the bear, and told her son that they were a big boy now and didn't need the pacifiers anymore, but he'll always be close to them as they are in the bear now. So I guess it wasn't so weird as it was sweet."chinchingering
Sam.
"Not an employee, but a read a story about someone coming with one of their young relatives while they were doing the eevee thing, and when the relative asked OP what to name the eevee, he responded with "Sam", which got some looks from the employee handling the eevee. afterwords, the employee said to them "i know what you did."
"Sam is the name of the main protagonist in a pornographic comic. Sam is also an eevee. in that comic."orifan1
Grandma ain't having it....
"Customer, not employee...Years ago I made a monkey one for my cousin that I put a noise maker in the crotch that would laugh when you squeezed it. Got some really awkward looks from the employee helping me put it together. My grandma was definitely not amused when my cousin opened it in front of the whole family."KCtraveler25
Honeypunch....
"I have been censored in my bears name twice at a build a bear. One happened when I was five, one when I was six. When I was five I got a bear who I wanted to name Honeypunch (shut up I was five). The attendant told me no punch is a bad word so she forced me to change it to bunch. The same thing happened with the second best next year, albeit different first half of the name."
Bronies Ruin Everything
"I worked there in high school about 10 years ago now. I guess the weirdest thing (but was very common) was putting dead relatives' recorded voices into stuffed animals. One was for a little girl whose father had died in Iraq. I was definitely crying while I sewed that bear up..."
"Other than that there were a few bronies that came in for Rainbow Dash. They were always very awkward but nice."
Showing Love The Only Way You Know How?
"Watching a teenage girl make a bear dressed like her boyfriend, for her boyfriend, while he was there. I have never seen someone try so hard to look interested, but failing. Teenage love I guess."
"The weirdest thing is all the middle aged women who come in Everytime somehow new is released. They collect them, but are always super weird people."
Speaking Honest Truth
"My girlfriend and her grad school friends made a bear called Catastrophe Bear and he said "everything is awful"
Which is Worse: The Tooth Or The Man?
"A Native family wanted to put a real bear tooth inside the bear (it was for a newborn). I made sure to check the sharpness of the tooth so it wouldn't puncture the fabric. Nothing weird with that job though."
"Although, there was a time when this old, drunk guy walked by the store and tried to grab a little girl near the entrance. A father intervened and got her back, but people were more bewildered by this guy doing it so obviously rather than get upset."
"I hated the store's music though (kids singing hit songs), i hated the chipper face/voice we had to put on, and I haaaated handling the fluff when refilling it."
SPOILER: Kids Are Gross
"I worked at Build A Bear for 8 years. It honestly was a pretty great job. They weirdest request I ever had was a woman brought in a moose (not our brand). It was a gift from her boyfriend and her children had ripped the head clean off. She wanted to know if we could fix it."
"I was one of the better ones at the sewing so the manager brought it to me. I told the woman I would do my best. I was able to get the head back on. Returned it to the woman and she said it looked as good as new."
"One day we had a kindergarten teacher drag in this huge Eeyore stuffed animal that the kids love. It had gone flat over the years and smelled and looked just gross. We actually opened it up and refilled it. The smell as the air and stuffing went into it was awful. Sewed it back up and sent her on her way."
"We had multiple people come in to put pacifiers in the bear to break there little one of the habit. One particular mom did that. Then came back 3 days later and had us open it up and remove it. The saddest was the woman who put a mini urn of her parents ashes inside."
"Anyway those are the ones that stick out to me."
It's Not What They Put In, It's What They Refuse To.
"I worked at build a bear for about 2ish years. I just recently quit this past April. My does time f-cking fly."
"People put a lot of things in their stuffed animals, voices of deceased relatives was a popular one. I don't think that's weird though, we all grieve in our own ways and hey if a bear with Uncle Ted's voice in it comforts you whatever. The people who REALLY weirded me out were the people who didn't want ANYTHING. Not just no sounds or smells or whatever, I get it that sh-ts expensive and adds up quickly. I worked there and I couldn't afford a decked out teddy bear. I mean no fabric heart for the heart ceremony, no birth certificate, no box, nothing. ALL OF WHICH ARE FREE AND ENCOURAGED!!"
"I want you to remember something, this is build a bear. You are buying a $30 teddy bear for your kid. You can go literally anywhere else for a stuffed animal for half the price. Build a bear is about the experience of making the bear, customizing it, and taking it home for your kid to have it's own custom and personal furry friend (yes that is what we have to call them). Why the f-ck are you paying $30 for a random stuffed animal? Why are you doing this? What the f-ck is wrong with you at least put a fabric heart in dude! It's free! It's literally free to put in a cute little heart with a wish for your child!
"It makes no sense and to this day frustrates me because to me there's no better way to say "I don't give a sh-t about what I'm getting my child for Christmas." Than that.""
"Also as a bonus people who were super weird with gendering their kids stuffed animal weirded me the f-ck out. It's a teddy bear Kyle your daughter can give it a tiara and name it Michael Jackson if she wants."
Been Around The Block A Few Times
"I've worked for the company for almost 4 years. Overall the days follow the same routine of families come in with a budget and kids have fits when they want something outside of that budget. But I have certainly encountered some weirdos and just weird situations."
"Weirdest: mom wanted me to put a sack of her late daughters baby teeth inside the bear with a recording of her voice. I feel like there's a lot of other sentimental items that could be kept with the bear other than teeth, but I guess everyone grieves in different ways."
"Crappy: parents will actually stuff things like the sounds in the bear before bringing them to the machine in hopes of pulling one over on you, like I'm not going to notice the hard plastic sound in your otherwise empty bear eyeroll"
"Heartbreaking (at first, but it gets better): parent booked a birthday party and requested me as the leader (pretty typical, I have usual costumers that come in and we have a bond at this point). I knew the costumer and I was excited because I knew they've been going through the ringer with their middle kid in and out of the hospital, so I was really happy that I'd be able to be part of a happy celebration with them. Well mom came in to talk to me early and it turns out middle kids has cancer and prognosis is not great, so the party is so her siblinggs and cousins can all come and each make her a bear to have in the hospital with her (begin the water works here). So of course I made the party as special as I could and during the wish ceremony some of the kids said their wishes out loud and it was all wishes for the kid to get better. I was in tears by the end of the party and had to leave as soon as it was over because I was a mess. (Last update I got from the family though she's doing better and in remission!!!!!)"
"One I had to encourage against: man came in wanting a bear for his girlfriend for this last Valentine's Day. He wanted to put an engagement ring INSIDE of the bear and give it to her and then after a few months rip it open in front of her to propose. Ultimately he agreed it was not a great idea and he'd just stick with a cute bear and find a different way to propose. They came in last month making a flower girl bear for their flower girl to be!"
"It's an interesting job and totally not for everyone, but I honestly love it. Not my forever job, but it's been great while going to undergrad and grad school! Some days I leave full of bubbly laughter and over days I leave in tears, keeps things interesting!"
Well, At Least His Spirit Has A Forever Place
"Back in the earlier build a bear days, I was asked to put an urn that contained the ashes of their father who had recently passed from cancer into the bear. I didn't know what to say and my manager was on break. They were really sweet and I completed the task for them (reed teddy, if I recall correctly). They also had previously recorded his voice so that also went into the teddy."
"20 minutes later when my manager returned, I informed her of what happened and how I handled it and within the next few months we had a store policy of "no deceased remains".
"Looking back on it, I'm happy I could do that for them. They even dressed it like him, and had planned to have it on the mantle for the family and grandchildren to press the hand and hear him."
Again With The Remains?
"Not weird, but heartbreaking:"
"Had an older woman come in and request 5 bears, each with aa personalized voice box. She was in late stages of cancer and was getting a bear for each of her grandkids, with a different message to each one to remember her by."
"Potentially heartbreaking, ultimately awkward, and traumatising for those involved :"
"A coworker used to work in a different store, and one day a person came in, picked a bear, and sort of faffed about a while before taking it to be stuffed. Coworker puts bear on the machine, hits the pedal, and is covered in a cloud of "dust", along with the guest, and the store. Turns out the person had poured their late partners cremains inside the bear and not said anything. Tip: if you want to put ashes in a build-a-bear, get a little urn and put some ashes into that, and put that in the bear. Loose ash = bad."
Annnnnnnnnnd Gross...
"I worked there for almost 5 years back in the early 2000s. Once there was a woman who came in with her son's monkey and asked for a hole to be stitched up. This was common and we all knew how to do a basic ladder stitch so my manager agreed to do it. When she took it in the back, she noticed that there were holes only in the crotch of the monkey and that the fur was matted. That's when she realized that this woman's son was (probably) doing the deed into the doll. I don't remember if my manager put on gloves and stitched it or offered the woman a new doll, but that was by far the craziest request."
"I also once had to get into that bear costume after someone wore it for 2+ hours because a woman complained that her son wanted to meet the bear and we had packed up 10 minutes early. That sucked really bad."
Who knew so much went down in these little bear shops. Do you have a similar retail story to share? Let us know below?
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As much as we might try to take care of our things, there are going to be instances where we lose things that we love.
Ironically, those lost things might be some of the most meaningful things we have in our lives.
Redditor baba_yaga_777 asked:
"If someone offered you a box of everything you ever lost, what would you look for first?"
A Mother's Brooch
"The brooch I bought for my mom's birthday when I was five years old (60 years ago)."
"I took all my money out of my bank and walked to the local Hallmark store. The nice lady took my money (probably less than $2) and wrapped up the gift."
"When my mom opened her gift, we walked back to the store 'to thank the lady for wrapping it so nicely.' It was actually so my mom could offer to pay the rest of the cost of that beautiful brooch. The lady wouldn't accept any more money, though."
"And here we are, 60 years later, and I still remember the incredible kindness of that lady."
"I don't have the brooch or my mom, but I do have this memory."
- BakeCrochetGym
Childhood Photos
"When we left Yemen during the civil war in 1994, it was rushed and we lost a handbag that had all family photos from 15 to 20 years prior. It sucks not to have pictures of me when I was younger."
- gahgeer-is-back
The Perfect Fit
"My swim trunks for this summer. I just got them last year and they fit me perfectly, and now I can't find them for the life of me. It p**ses me off thinking about it."
- karmagod13000
All Progress Saved
"The 'Pokémon Crystal' game that I had leveled all of my favorite characters up to Level 80. The housecleaner swiped it and my parents wouldn’t believe me. F**k you, Julie."
- YourStolenCharizard
Lost Loved Ones
"My daughter. She was gone way too quick."
- WhatWouldTNGPicardDo
A Beloved Baby Blanket
"My childhood blankie. I have no idea what happened to it!"
- plasma_dan
"I somehow managed not to lose or destroy mine and gave it to my firstborn child. He still keeps it in his bed and turns seven soon. I think I’d ask for that too if it was lost."
- Lampyridae2A
Former Best Friends
"My best friend from my formative years."
- TrixonBanes
"Oof, same. She was like a sister to me. She lives on the other side of the country now and, even though we grew apart, I miss how I felt when I spent time with her."
- MaynardButterBean
Favorite Stuffies
"The stuffed platypus I had when I was in elementary. Every time my mom mentions finding stuff in my grandpa's house, I ask about it."
- JenniferMcKay
In Exchange for Toxic Relationships
"The self-esteem that I allowed others to destroy during a phase of illness."
- DeviantAvocado
Past Creations
"High school sketchbook full of emo edgy drawings."
- strangedigital
The Family Ring
"My mum's ring she'd been given by her Grandma that I pawned (my mum agreed at the time but always regretted it afterwards)."
"I got way, way less than its worth, since the guy took advantage of my age and desperation. The worst thing is, I can't even remember the design so can't ever have it replicated and can't ask my mum because she passed away earlier this year."
- -qqqwwweeerrrtttyyy-
Holiday Cheer
"Holiday cheer."
"Sure, I still love holidays but… as a kid, it was like, 'Holy mother of everliving f**k, Halloween is in THREE WEEKS? That is entirely too long. I will never be able to wait. Holy d**n.' And when it finally arrived, I'd have the night of my life."
"Now it’s like, 'Oh no. Halloween is in two days. Uh... Oh well...'"
- GregthePigeon
The Sea of Lost Picks
"As a guitarist, all of my f**king picks."
- ivaclue
Junk Drawers and Boxes
"The box I lost that had everything in it."
- Actuaryba
Quite the Conundrum
"The issue is that I can't recall what I've lost."
- ragnrokis
We've all lost things in our lives, some more important than others.
It's especially telling that at least most of us know exactly what we would seek first, before anything else that might possibly be in that box.
There are several things that are appealing to hikers.
Being out in nature and taking in some fresh air is a huge motivation for people to get out of the house.
Getting exercise is also a factor to maintain a healthy heart.
But there could be one unexpected element to a hike that can happen hypothetically, and it's sure to raise your heartbeat.
Specifically, seeing something shocking along the hiking trail, like, say, a naked person could make for an exciting–or disturbing–hiking outing. It certainly doesn't get any more au natural than that.
Curious to hear from strangers, Redditor spenf asked:
"What would be your reaction if you encountered a nude hiker?"
These Redditors assessed the situation and saw no harm.
Friendly Tip
"I have passed two nude hikers in my 35 years of hiking. One male, one female, years and thousands of miles apart. Both said 'hello'. I said 'hello.' One mentioned the trail was washed out ahead but a second trail has been cut. I thanked them for the heads-up. Some people like the wind and sun on their skin. Both had on hiking boots. To each their own."
– Zmirzlina
Sign Of Good Character
"I have. Three times! I'm an avid backpacker and you can usually find me in Yosemite, SeKi, Emigrant or Carson-Iceberg in California on any random summer weekend."
"My standard line: 'Afternoon, I didn't realize it was so cold out today!'"
"One of them didn't get the joke. The other two laughed their nude a**es off."
"Here's my reasoning. If you're naked and can laugh at a joke, you're probably not a threat."
– codefyre
Two Scenarios
"Depends. A hiker with hiking boots/shoes and a backpack, but otherwise nude, or a completely nude person on a hiking trail?"
"Scenario 1: I give a friendly wave and hike on."
"Scenario 2: I give a more tentative wave and hike on, maintaining a heightened awareness of my surroundings."
– Genshed
Casual Encounter
"I met one once. A middle aged man in ok shape. Had nice hiking boots, thick wool socks, fancy framed backpack, two walking poles, hat, sunglasses, and nothing else on."
"I said hi in a neutral voice, he replied hi in an equally neutral voice. We passed, I did not look back."
– SillyFlyGuy
Some hikers are suspect.
High Alert
"While backpacking out of Rocky Mountain National Park we encountered a dude wearing nothing but shoes and some very small shorts. He was off trail about 100' at the edge of a meadow, walking and swinging a machete. I...did not approach. He was probably a mile in from the trail head. I'm guessing drugs."
– DoctFaustus
Beware Of Black Magic
"Ha! There are a lot of superstitious rumors/stories circulating around scenario 2 in India. Apparently, people who practice black magic with the sole intent of harming someone are often seen walking naked in places you don't expect people, carrying weird items."
"Either you interrupt them by disturbing them (no clue what happens next) or you run in the opposite direction."
– longlegs25
You may want to take note.
"I live in the Bay Area and naked hikers are not uncommon."
"Good naked hiker: has appropriate shoes, a backpack or fanny pack, is hiking with intention and looks tanned and fit and like he does this regularly. Good naked hikers will give you room so you don't have to interact unless you really want to."
"Bad naked hiker: shoeless, visible sores, scrapes, or burns, moving erratically (i.e. really slow or in a zig-zag). Might be a drugged out person. Out-of-shape or pale are indications this is not normal for them and they may not have intended for this to happen."
"Exhibitionist: makes a point to make eye contact, smile at you, wave, try to involve you. Good naked hikers are usually on long, deep trails where they're less likely to encounter others, and they tend to give clothed hikers a wide breath out of a sense of respect and consent. Exhibitionists get chummy; it excites them to be seen naked."
– IAlbatross
"Also depends on the area. A deep woods area with long trails is ideal for naked hiking. Shorter and more accessible trails are less okay because there's a higher likelihood of encountering families with children."
"Also depends on if they're with friends or not. A group of naked hikers is less concerning than an individual."
"All this boils down to:"
"If you see a naked hiker, mind your own business. A good naked hiker isn't trying to bother you. A bad naked hiker is potentially dangerous. An exhibitionist wants attention so any attention paid to them will fuel them. Best thing to do is nod as you pass and carry on like you haven't even noticed."
"Edit: There are actually areas in the Bay Area where it's permitted to hike naked. Regionally, some places allow nudity. Also some places allow women to be topless so a topless female hiker might just be evening out her tan. It's best not to assume and to know the local laws before passing judgement on a person getting their nature on."
– IAlbatross
Guilty as charged.
The Name Is A Dead Giveaway
"No reaction at all, since I would be nude myself."
– NudistGeek
"Stare in disbelief. That's just very strange and coincidental for two nude hikers to run into each other."
"I guess make sure they have sunscreen also."
– miketdavis
To each their own, but if hiking in the nude is your thing, you do you.
And just a heads up: If you're walking around in the buff and happen to be wielding a machete, you're going to make people very jittery. So maybe drop the prop.
Also, wear plenty of sunscreen.
30 is the new 20.
At least, that's what a lot of people tell themselves after they pass that milestone birthday.
Even so, while age is merely a number, people still find certain things grow increasingly more challenging with each passing year.
Including, or even particularly, dating.
Those still on the hunt for love after turning 30 might grow increasingly insecure, worry that their moment has passed, or be unable to ignore the ticking of their biological clock reminding them that time might be running out to start a family.
Not to mention, playing a losing game over and over can become completely and utterly exhausting after a while.
"What is the hardest part of dating after 30?"
Not Everyone Wants A Package Deal
"Realizing that the number of single parents is larger than you’d expect."- dhabo1030
"Some people have kids or want them soon."
"And emotional baggage."- Psyblade0_0
"Kids, whether you have them or not, is something to talk and consider immediately before starting anything."- Crisb89
"For me, it was finding someone who didn't have kids, and didn't want them."
"At that point in my life, I was (and still am) 100% sure I don't want kids."
"Finding a long-term partner who wants the same was pretty tough."- Toiletpaperplane
Everyone's In A Hurry
"'Dating after 30 is like catching a city bus after midnight'."
"'There aren't as many, but they're faster'."- civex
How Long Have You Got?
"Online dating sucks and all my friends are married or dead or single fathers."
"So I am on my own for the most part."- somedude-83
"It's not all fun and games anymore."
"People feel late or behind."
"First dates often: are we compatible, do you want kids, are you OK with my kids, are you ready for a serious relationship, do you make enough money, do you own a home, politics?"
"Religion."
"I don't have time to mess with you if we aren't a match because I'm in my 30s and supposed to be married and having kids."
"The days of just light fun dating are less common."- ZLVe96
Emotional And/Or Excess Baggage
"Geez."
"You sometimes pay for what their ex did to them."- JJJAAABBB123
Rising Standards And Expectations
"You have your preferences narrowed down a LOT more than you did in your 20s, thus finding a compatible partner is more difficult."
"Especially if you dislike kids."- Clintman
"Many people want 'high value' partners while having no value."- Zetterburger40
Solo routines Can Be Hard To Shake...
"I've learned I prefer my own company."- PrinceEnternalStench
Alternative Methods...
"The summoning rituals you have to go through."- AdCareful5654
Wait Till Your 40s...
"Wait until they’re over 45."
"Most are divorced and have been alone for a while."
"It‘s a reset of dating and they’re open to try something new."
"That person who was out of your league is now squarely in your court."
"Go for it!"- macgiv
Good Luck Getting A Good Night's Sleep...
"CPAP Machines."- Reddit
As long as you are single, finding love is one of the many things you think you might never achieve with each passing year.
However, when you do finally find that one true love, no matter when or how old you are, you will realize in no time at all it was definitely worth the wait.
Sometimes the simplest or most obvious things are the things you learn late.
I've been shopping at DSW for 20 years now, and I was literally today years old when I realized 'DSW' weren't just random letters, but stood for 'Designer Shoe Warehouse.'
Yeah, that one made me feel pretty stupid!
Luckily, I'm not the only one. Redditors know of many obvious things they only recently realized, and are eager to share.
It all started when Redditor itsochepel asked:
"What obvious thing did you recently realize?"
A House Is Not A Bed
"That birds don't live in nests. Nests are just where they keep their eggs. Birds just sleep in trees."
– Rey_Reddits
"Pretty much, yes. Even ground birds like chickens and quail will roost in trees when they aren't setting eggs."
– pokey1984
"what now. this has ruined me"
– ipk9
"Can I offer you an nice egg in this trying time?"
– B_Sharp_or_B_Flat
Worst Kind Of Typo
"That there is a typo on my email in my resume. Somehow it went unnoticed for 6+ months..."
– burtreynoldsthepope
"I sent out resumes once saying that “I am an excellent poof reader""
– Maelstrom_Witch
"If I read that on a resume I wouldn’t be surprised if I thought it was done intentionally as a joke because it would seem too funny to be an accident."
– CORN___BREAD
If I Had Only Realized
"I played through nearly all of Fallout 4 (I didn’t buy the game until fairly recently) without realizing there’s a jump button. If I got trapped someplace, I just restarted from a previous save and complained about what kinda idiots didn’t make it so you can jump. But I’m the idiot."
– TracksuitBear
A (Confusing?) Family Tree
"My grandson just figured out I am his mothers mother. He just can't understand why I tell him we have to ask his mom to do some things. Why can't I just tell his mom we are going to do something? I am her mom therefore her boss!"
– Individual_Serious
"That’s so cute. Reminds me of when my younger niece realized that her half sister (who does not live with her) was her sister too. Just like my older niece is her sister. She was amazed. She told me “I saw daddy and Kay yesterday. We had so much fun. Did you know that Kay is my sister?!”"
– BusyButterscotch4652
"My nephew still doesn't understand that his uncle is my brother, and his mom is my sister. He'll go back and forth on it constantly. "But uncle is MOMS brother!" Yes, and just like how you have a sister, uncle and I also share a sister - your MOM.
"Additionally, my niece used to gently grab my mom's arm any time I called her mom and would go "no aunty, that's MY Gramma." Yes, I know, but she is still MY mother. "That's mommy's mom, she's my grandma. Not yours." Hunny that is because she is my mother. Your mom and I share a mother. "She is mommy's mom. Not yours." Oh you dear thing. That's not how it works."
"They're lucky they're cute lol"
– Burnt_Your_Toast
Punny Names
"That Men's Wearhouse is a pun."
– Hustlasaurus
"Holy sh*t, I didn't even notice it was spelled Wearhouse cuz my mind filled in the rest."
– TheJerilla
"Also the Beatles, I recently realized"
– UnabashedPerson43
"I'm ashamed. All my life. All my life, sitting right there in front of me...."they must've thought beetles would make a cool name because the bugs are cool. That's so RaNDOmm. HuRr""
– DaBigadeeBoola
I'd Like Some "Pepsi"
"Growing up, my grandparents religiously had a 3:00 PM “Pepsi” time. Like Tea Time, I guess, but with Pepsi. Every time we were over there, it happened. We all enjoyed a crisp, fizzy, cold Pepsi."
"At 43 years old, I was telling that story this week, when I suddenly realized theirs were most likely spiked."
– Fire_In_The_Skies
There's A Difference?
"When getting an eye exam you are asked which looks better 1, or 2. If they are identical or too close to call, you have a 3rd option. The same. They never told me that."
– No_Lecture9474
"Every time I’ve gotten an eye exam, I’ve felt like I’m failing a test I studied for everyday lol"
– VenturiMask
Not Too Long Then
"Driving through South Dakota with my family and I was so amazed by the vast fields of livestock. I turned to my husband and asked him how long it must take for the farmer to round up all the cows each night and get them into the barns. My husband laughed so hard."
"Apparently cows don’t sleep in barns at night!"
– NashvilleJM
Ohhh, That's Why!
"Soft drinks are called soft drinks bc they don’t contain alcohol. Hard drinks do."
– heres-to-life
"I used to think soft drinks only meant carbonated drinks because they felt soft and fizzy on your tongue. Then I saw it on a canister of Kool Aid and it clicked."
– BronxBelle
"Have been bartending for 16 years and learned this right now"
– Delicious-Plantain-3
Named For Us
"Will smith and Jada smith named their kids after themselves. Jadan smith and Willow smith. Why I never put that together is beyond me"
– TalkQuick
"Will Smith's first son from his previous marriage was Willard too, although I think it's a family name."
– MisterEvilBreakfast
Reverse
"That Alucard from Castlevania just means Dracula backwards..."
"Felt so dumb for not seeing the extremely obvious"
– dershmoo
"Let me tell you a story about Ekans and Arbok."
– dandroid126
Aptly Named
"Pipe cleaners aren’t just for arts and crafts."
"They’re also for cleaning pipes."
"I'm 35 and oh so ashamed of myself."
– GozerDaGozerian
"When I was a kid I always wondered why they called them pipe cleaners because the only pipes I’d ever seen were waayyyy bigger than them (household drain pipes etc) and thought it was stupid to make them so small. I was in my 30s when I found out they were for tobacco pipes."
– sliderfish
Never Realized
"Limu the Emu is named Limu because of Liberty Mutual, not because it rhymes with Emu"
– BamboozledKoala420
Using A Screwdriver
"Lefty loosey, Righty tighty."
– Trussmagic
I actually learned a lot from this list, and boy do I feel silly!