Life can be a real douche. Things beyond our control can wreck us forever, like the death of a loved one. And for others, the struggle of life in our modern age is lonely, pointless, and unfulfilling. Know that you're not alone if you're feeling these things, because let's face it, this was not what we were promised.
tvsalf asked: What is the saddest detail about your life that no one knows?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
15. Depression is a vicious thing.
I've not handled my depressive moments very well and have crushed my self esteem and any recognition of my value to people.
Why is this so relatable?
I feel like I just read my inner monologue and it's quite shocking.
14. Try a new approach, like expanding your social circle.
I feel like I'm never going to meet someone who wants to spend the rest of their life with me, and I'll end up lonely and alone. Dating scares me so much and I'm tired of ending up heartbroken at the end of it.
Life is scary indeed.
13. Make headlines, you'll live forever.
I feel like I'm going to die alone. Haven't said it to anyone because I hate coming off as attention seeking but yeah. It's my main fear.
Your fear is my goal D:
Me too! The idea of people grieving over my death or even knowing about it, seems like an emotional intrusion. I would prefer people to only be able to ask, "what ever happened to what's his name?"
I don't care whether people grieve over me or not. It's the point of, I'm not what I would want as a parent. I don't want to burden someones life because I can't/won't give them everything. I don't think I'm fit to be a partner. I'm not interested in it. I'd prefer to be left alone and be alone.
12. This isn't your burden to bear.
My birth was a result of my mother's rape.
Know that this does not define you.
Holy crap, that would be a heavy thing to know. Do you have a good relationship with her?
She is deceased now(I am 57yrs old). We had a good relationship. She always told me she was glad I was here. I just feel terrible that she had to experience an assault like that.
That sh*t only matters in fantasy books my dude. Youre not some cursed being. Youre just as valid as any other person.
11. I mean, okay, I'm in.
I have to hold back tears when people touch me. I'm really starved for affection and physical contact. My friend leaned on my back and put her head on top of mine at an assembly and I cried when I got home.
Edit: just got back from an assembly where I sat next to my closest friend and her boyfriend and I left to "go to the bathroom" when in reality I left so I could take a walk and cry a little.
Edit2: lets all cry together tbh we need it
Holy sh*t, I will hug you for a solid hour. I will hug everyone on this thread for a solid hour each.
No timer actually, the hug goes on for as long as it needs to.
Where the f*ck are you, you're getting hugged dammit.
Similar, with one caveat. I only crave physical affection from people im close to emotionally. Coworker, classmate, random stranger? I'll recoil like I've been shocked if im touched.
The last hug I got from a close friend left me with a full body high for 20 minutes. I crave hugs way more than I crave sex, or even food. You're definitely not alone.
10. Things I can't think about, category 1.
I cannot look at pictures of my Mom. She's been gone for 6 years now. I put the photoalbums of her away because it hurts too much to look at it. I usually cave maybe 2 or 3 times a year. I know the day will come when I can look at her pictures and not think of everything that was lost when she died.
Lost my mom to Stage 4 liver and Pancreatic cancer two weeks ago. Was diagnosed 15 days before she passed, suffering 4 strokes in two days and just...died.
I just returned to work today and, somehow, I'm keeping it together at work, but when I'm home I am buried deep in grief, sadness, anxiety over losing her. All I ever wanted was one more conversation, one more hug, one more I love you.
But I know I can't. It sucks, and I know that two weeks is nowhere near close to enough time to get over this. It'll take forever. I'm so sorry for your grief.
Grief is so unfair. It is such an individual process but being in such bad pain still would feel alienating I would think. But ultimately you are right, the day will come.
9. Well... *gestures broadly at everything*
Even though I'm working towards things I don't really want anything except for it to be over. I have no remaining passion for anything and I'm just trudging through my life. I desperately want to find something that makes me feel alive again.
Sh*t you worded it perfectly. Sleep is pretty much the only joy I got left and I dread pretty much anything else when I'm awake.
I feel you there, I sleep for no reason at all a lot of the time. I have to force myself to do things a lot of the time. I find that getting myself out in nature or forcing myself to go on a coffee date with a friend ALWAYS make me feel a lot better. Sometimes all you need is a shift in scenery or the laughter and perspective from someone you care about.
8. Imposter syndrome?
I'm in a place where I interact with a lot of people and many of them look up to me, but deep inside I feel like I almost have no life. I feel so lonely, lost, and empty, but I have to keep up appearances for the sake of the many that would certainly be crushed if I gave up on myself.
Omg I feel the same.. I have a lot of acquaintances and not so close friends. People I do stuff with and hang out with that I met at work and through external activities.. but just a handful of close friends who I actually open up to. and a lot of these people actually enjoy my company and want to be my friends and have told me so.
Sometimes I'm out there having fun and all and then I come home and feel so empty. So yeah.. most people don't know this. they think I'm happy and fulfilled, even the handful of close ones. I can't keep complaining about feeling empty because they'd think I'm being ungrateful about having friends and people to hang out with.
This is how I currently feel right now, I'm just barely managing to keep up appearances and life honestly feels terrible every waking second. I wonder what I'm doing as I aimlessly wander the halls of my confines as I pretend I'm doing alright. I talk to a lot of people, yet I feel so abysmally lonely that I wince after every interaction. I feel like an absolute failure with little to no redeemable qualities. I'm so lonely despite it all, all I really want is someone to love me, someone to hug and cuddle with me and to tell me everything will be alright. I don't have anyone like that in my life and it hurts the most. I've done my best to try and help everyone I can in the hopes that someone will do so for me, but it's all for naught... I've just finished my crying session and am honestly using this comment as a method or laying out the thoughts in my head so as to be done with them for now, at least until they come haunt me like some wretched poltergeist with a vengeance.
7. It's hard to feel fulfilled in these times.
I hate it. I don't have a life, I just exist.
The feels. Right along with you buddy.
I went to a therapist and they described what I was going through as depression (bear with me here) and the way you just go about life miserable and just for the sake of existing, she described it as being "the walking dead. Not really having a life, but existing for the sake of existing."
She advised me to get medication, which would require seeing a psychiatrist for a formal diagnosis and prescription, which after calling all of the psychiatrists in the city that were covered by my insurance, the shortest appointment time was almost 3 months out.
For someone who had to summon every ounce of motivation just to see a therapist who had a 3 day appointment wait, 3 months was far too long and now I just go on existing, now with the knowledge of how I've failed to do the one thing that might help.
6. Same.
I will never live up to what I want from myself.
This is probably the most accurate one. That's it. Other people would think I do fine because I do better than most, or appear to at least. I want to be passionate things and achieve something larger than me, but I just... well... you know.
This hits deep.
5. If you don't fit in, stand out.
I feel like I don't fit in with anyone.
The entire concept of "fitting in" is the strangest thing humankind has come up with.
Do you think a cow cares even slightly when it's met by a weird cow?
Do you think a dog cares when his fellow dog meows?
Do you think the universe gives even the most fleeting hint of a fuck that there are not that many people like you?
I don't, at least.
The only truly weird thing in existence is that things can be weird.
Our time on Earth is limited friend. Laugh in the face of people who rob you of the feeling that you belong.
You do belong. You're a human. The only intelligent life form we've ever known of.
4. Confidence is a difficult life skill.
I'm one of those people was told to shut up constantly as a kid and now can't effectively communicate with others without taking forever.
Same. I was a really passionate and excited kid, but people would often mock/shame me for it, talk over me, or be like "who cares?"
I'm still energetic and passionate when I talk, but you can bet that I'm monitoring every sentence I say in hopes that I'm not rambling/being annoying.
3. Times is tough, but there's no shame in accepting help.
I 'forget' to eat because we can't really afford for both of us to be consistently fed. My partner's gotten on me about it lately, she worries, so I lie a lot. She needs it more than I do though.
For all that it sucks, it's a rare person than can set aside the very painful spectre of hunger for someone they care about.
So, so many people are in your position or have been in your position. It's really fu*king hard! My husband and I were in this position when we first got married.
I did the same, I told him I'd eaten when he was at work when in reality I hadn't eaten for sometimes two days. He was working so he needed it more than I did. I'm not sure what country you're in so I don't know about the cost of certain foods where you are, but I'm in England. When we went food shopping I would buy the regular food plus I would stock up on the cheapest noodles (ramen), pasta, soups, cereals etc. And I would buy the reduced stuff that was about to go out of date and freeze it for later use. That way when there wasn't much to eat we could at least have something.
Please try to eat something, even just some toast or some cereal to keep you going. I'm sure things will work out for you soon but in the mean time if you need anyone to talk to please just give me a shout.
2. Wrenching.
That my last words to my mother before she committed suicide were: "screw you, I don't want to be your daughter anymore. Get back to me when you sober up." - she started drinking again, she was drunk that day, I was tired, had enough of screaming at her to get help because I need her so I yelled that and ran away to my grandparent's house. I never spoke to her again after that because she committed suicide an hour or so after I left.
Edit* Thanks for all the replies, I honestly didn't expect this to blow up over night! I think that I managed to reply to most of the people, I will reply to the rest later since I have to go to work soon. But if I didn't get to you, thank you so much for your kind answers and words, they really did make me feel better.
Also thanks to whoever gave me silver, you rock and you are amazing <3
Thanks for gold as well, you people are amazing <3
It's not your fault. No matter what. It's not your fault.
I know that now. Didn't know at the beginning though, I kept blaming myself and I kept going through all the what if scenarios even the most ridiculous ones. Not that I can go back and change that day :(
1. Quiet time alone with someone is immensely rewarding.
I'm not made to be around other people. I struggle to maintain a relationship and have always struggled with friendships. I'm happier alone than I am around other people, but when I'm alone for long periods of time I long for human contact, which turns into resentment of the majority of other people.
I feel like Pigeon Man from Hey Arnold.
If you feel like there's no light at the end of that tunnel, all the best relationships in my experience have times where you simply spend time alone together.
Content to spend time with each other while you both do your own thing. You aren't alone in what you feel.
Maintain online friendships. Its keeps the balance.
And there are just as many grievances for which we are not at all sorry.
Curious to hear about people's track record of their questionable behavior, Redditor NanoPKx asked:
"What is something bad you have done with no regrets?"
Is it petty theft or flat out stealing? You decide.
The Parting Gift
"'Forgetting' to bring back a company ipad after they forgot about me having it. Actually they never asked for it back so I still have it and use it."
– Koetjeka
Furry Companion
"I stole a barn kitten while delivering packages for FedEx. He kept climbing my legs and getting into the van, sitting under the wheel when I tried to back out (it was a steep driveway, no way to swing the van around). I called the number on the package, looked the name up on facebook, called the local non-emergency to get contact info, all failed."
"So I took him. Now, if you're not from a rural environment, you might not understand that barn cats like that are 'no-man's-cats.' For all the owners know, he got sick or got got by a coyote. And he would have died, because when we got him to the vet he had a nasty upper resp infection and some other nasties."
"Now, one deformed nasal passage and the cutest snore later, we have a bonkers little orange cat with the heaviest penchant for snuggling I've ever seen (his name is Monty btw)."
"Edit: I forgot to pay my Cat Tax: https://imgur.com/a/HIXS4us"
"Edit Part 2: Monty loves the attention. Thank you for loving him as much as we do :3"
"MmmmMMMMRrrrrrrrrrrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW" -Montgomerey Valentine, 2022
– SonOfSkinDealer
The Dirty Treat
"A housemate of mine kept eating mine and my girlfriends food and even though I asked him to stop the only thing he would ever say is 'I thought it was mine' then keep eating it."
"Well I bought my girlfriend some ice cream she really enjoys and she put the half she didn’t finish back in the freezer. Well when she want to get the rest it was gone and it made me madder than I think it probably should have."
"The very next time I saw him and somehow keeping a straight apologetic face I told him how he accidentally ate our sex ice cream and that bits of it had been on our parts etc. I told him I felt guilty not to tell him and that I had to apologise for him to eat such a thing."
"I will never forget the face he made when I told him. A face of pure self disgust and shock to which all he had to say was 'I wish you never told me that' and proceeded to move out around a month later."
"Although he didn’t actually eat sex ice cream, like why the f'k would you put it back after use anyway? Sometimes I wonder if I went to far but in that moment I just did not care at all. He still doesn’t know it isn’t true and I’ll probably never see him again."
"F'k you Vitas buy your own food."
– SpicyDolphin74
Vengeance is sweet.
Payback Time
"A drunk driver hit my parked car, left a huge dent in the front driver’s side door, and then drove away. I happened to be looking out the window at the time and saw the whole thing, including his plate number. Cops got there not long after and took my statement. After a couple days and a couple phone calls, I found out nothing was going to come of it because he was the son of the sheriff the next county over."
"Fast forward a couple months, I see his car parked behind a local bar within walking distance of my apartment. I got out my hunting knife and sliced all four of his tires, and made a couple trips around it destroying the paint job. Yellow Pontiac Sunfire, and I still remember the goddamn plate number even after almost 20 years."
– IgnoreMe304
For The People
"I was a GM for a retailer that was going out of business. During the liquidation I let my employees that worked until the end store product they wanted to buy in a closet I claimed I didn't have a key to. Oh the final days I sold them all the items they requested for 95% off. 70" tvs, ipads, gaming laptops whatever they requested."
– Midnights606
Surreptitious Swap
"Years ago I worked for a wealthy dude who was married to someone semi-famous. He would waltz in every morning and talk about the fantastic dinner he had the night before, how he hung out with some other famous person or whatever else."
"He paid me peanuts. I had a hard time making ends meet."
"I was the office assistant and IT guy. So it comes time to get a new computer for one of the designers. I spec something out, and show it to him. It was a ripper of a machine for the time (early 2000s). But it wasn’t expensive enough for bossman."
"So I added a really high end graphics card. Boss was happy then. The card added nothing for the designer: they only did illustrator and photoshop."
"So I came in that weekend and swapped the graphics card for my aging one from home."
"No one ever knew. Or cared. And I got a new graphics card."
– Dudeinairport
When times are tough, people had to do what it took to survive.
T.P. Crisis
"In college I was so poor I would steal toilet paper from the supply closet in our major building."
– Business_Loquat5658
Hungry College Buddy
"I stood watch for a college friend who was going hungry because he’d been disowned and his roommates had made living with him intolerable after he came out."
"I was loosely affiliated with an off campus program with local churches that gave free student dinners on Thursdays. We would go to church to eat, then bring dishes into the kitchen."
"Anyway, he would go in there and steal stuff like peanut butter, literal bread (not an allegory), granola bars etc. while I watched out for the pastor."
"Eventually we both got caught, the pastor for the college students got a bit mad because he was responsible for us while we were there to eat. And I think it was offensive on some level to steal from church. But then he saw what my friend was taking, and asked him if he had enough to eat. My friend shamefacedly said no, not usually."
“'Okay, fine. Put the food back, and come with me.' Took my friend grocery shopping instead, got him connected with the food pantry and community garden at church instead."
– SchnarchendeSchwein
Based on these examples, people didn't twice about their actions in the heat of the moment.
Within reason, we all gotta somehow get by.
But do you think their actions deserve punishment?
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When a person sees someone they care about going through a struggle or crisis, their instinct is to uplift them with positive advice.
But sometimes, the wisdom imparted by friends isn't always helpful or relevant to the situation.
Curious to hear from strangers online who could do without specific knowledge, Redditor Saibotnl1 asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"
These Redditors have a problem with how certain people have on outlook on life.
Time To Rest
"Sleep when you’re dead."
"Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner."
– Tag2graff
Irrelevant Sadness
"People have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!"
– notrachelmar
"To that I like to say, 'people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!'"
– ___jupiter____
Your Life Path
"Almost anything relating to what age you must be in order to buy a house, have children, marry, have a profession, or do anything else. Seriously, everyone's life is different from everyone else's. Make your life the way you want it to be. If you so desire. Up to you."
– Frn071
On The Contrary
“Cheaters never prosper”
"Yes, they f'king do."
– waqasnaseem07
People can get out of any situation they find displeasing.
But others feel people should just "stick it out."
Ignoring Bullies
"Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to f'k with you again. If going psycho on their a** is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defense but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, it's absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim."
– User Delted
Remain to be Miserable
"Stick it out"
"Whether that's sh**ty jobs, shi**y relationships, shi**y living situations..."
"By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!"
– petitezoey
"Easy for you to say," might be an auto-response to these suggestions for many people.
Invitation For Recklesslessness
"Live like everyday was your last"
Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?"
– LimeGrass619
A Possible Consequence
"I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well."
"19 years sober though today."
– Open-Section-7263
A Practical Approach
"If I knew with certainty that I had one day left, I'd double-check all my financials, my will, and my insurance policies, make sure my wife had all of my passwords and knew where all the money was, spend the rest of the day with her and the kids, then call the medical examiner and ask to lie down on the gurney so that when I die they won't strain their back moving my remains out of my house."
– Asteriad
Nose Stuck In A Book
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
"That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s..."
– Khomuna
Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"Do what you love and money will follow"
"I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That sh*t doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!"
– Elons_android
While people's intentions are good, they're better off keeping their two cents in their own pockets.
Not everyone likes to hear platitudes.
Sometimes, people just want to know they're not alone with their problems over listening to unlikely solutions that are nothing more than superficial pick-me-ups.
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Kids start going to school from the age of five, and for the most part, they spend more time at school than at home. Because of that, teachers can become very important figures in the lives of their students.
Some students don't have the best home lives. Some keep it to themselves, but others confide in their teachers.
Curious about various situations, Redditor Delicious_Mastodon83 asked:
"teachers of reddit what is the saddest thing you found out about a student?"
In Need of Parents
"Not a teacher but was a school-based therapist. Had a student (7 -8 y/o) I didn’t know knock on my office door and ask if I’d adopt her and “if you have room, my brother too, but if not, that’s ok, we can be split up. We’re split up now. And I don’t take up space. I just need a sleeping bag”. Broke my heart."
– secretkpr
Heartbreaking, But Industrious
"My mom taught at a school in a bad neighborhood in Chicago in the mid 90’s. There was a second grader that would save his milk and ketchup packers from lunch for his mom so she had something to eat when she got home from work."
– PowerstrokeMe
Big-Hearted Mom
"Not a teacher but a parent with a 9 year old son. Every day I pack extra in my sons lunch because he tells me he has a friend that never has anything to eat. It's winter and my son came home and told me his friend was turning up with shorts and shirt and holes in his shoes. So I sent in a jumper and long pants for him to wear and some slightly used but good condition shoes. I have been up to the school recently and the teacher pulled me aside and thanked me profusely for helping this child. Apparently teachers are not allowed to aid kids they teach here in Australia and they have already reported the issue 3 times to child welfare without results so I was the only one helping this child. The teacher told me before I started sending in more food and clothes, this child would steal others food from their lunches and look through the bins because he was so hungry. They doubt he gets fed at home. So now I make sure to always send an extra lunch and some school clothes/supplies when I can. I can only hope child welfare eventually does something but it breaks my heart."
– spetzie55
Amazing Big Sister
"It was right after winter break and before class started I was just talking with some students and asked if they got anything fun for the holidays. One girl said on no, I don’t ever get presents, my mom is a drug addict. But I went out and got some stuff for my little sister so that she can have a real Christmas."
"She just said it so matter-of-fact. She was so used to being the parent to her little sister that she didn’t even care about her own childhood. It totally broke my heart."
– tonydanzascaulk
The Importance Of Human Affection
"Second hand story from my mom, elementary teacher for 30ish years. She had a hug or a handshake out the door policy, just some small contact and a proper goodbye, and had this young boy who always picked the hug. She wondered why he always went for it, most kids would go back and forth depending on their mood that day, so she asked him why he was always so excited for the end of day hug? His answer, "It's the only one I ever get.""
– needsawholecroissant
Coming Out The Other Side
"Two teenage boys (16/14) with learning disabilities were on my caseload, they never missed school but often ditched class. They were homeless mid-year after they went home from school to find the locks changed, their Mom had abandoned them for a new boyfriend. She didn't leave an address for them to find her."
"*Edit: both eventually dropped out, however a couple of years later the younger brother came back to visit. He and his brother were both working construction, and his brother had gotten married, had a child, and was living with his wife’s family."
"The younger had roommates and was saving for a car. He told me it was a shame I didn’t have kids, because I would make a good Dad."
"People often persevere, even with the odds stacked against them."
– Kursch50
True Parentification
"Not me but my daughter is a teacher, she has lots of stories but one that stands out for me is one of her kindergarten kids saying she was tired and her asking why, the little girl explained that she had been up all night with her mums newborn baby. She did this every night, fed her bottles and everything."
– lb47513343
Luckily, He Was Resilient
"This year I had a 17 year old kid enroll at my school. He was sitting in my math class and I could tell he was struggling. After class I took some extra time to go over a concept with him. I asked him to read the question to me, and he sat there silently. He then looked at me and said “I’m not going to lie to you, I cannot read. I have no idea how to say these words""
"Turned out at age 17 he was illiterate and had been kept out of school by his very religious, controlling parents. Over the past few months he has worked very hard! Now he can finally read at an 8th grade level and he is STILL improving!!"
– User Deleted
A Heroic Teacher
"I worked in an inner city charter school. One of my students (`M10) had a sib (M8) in a lower grade. The mom was there every day in the beginning of the year encouraging them, helping them and generally being very supportive... until a CPS agent spoke to me asking about her behavior. After CPS left things went downhill. The boys showed up late to class even though they lived a half block away from school. When in school both boys were tired from sleeping in the car while their mom "went fishing". She also had two very young girls which she dragged around making the boys take care of them. One day the boys didn't show up and their teacher walked over to the house to find the mom had loaded up the fridge, paid the rent for the month and abandoned them. The teacher (a candidate for sainthood btw) took them in, adopted them and grew them up to be great men."
– mopedarmy
This is really heartbreaking stuff! Luckily, teachers aren't just another adult in your life; they can be your saving grace as well.
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TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains sensitive content about depression and mental health.
As the stigma around mental health lessens (however slowly), people are more forthcoming about the problems they are facing. One of the most common mental health issues is depression.
Depression can affect many different types of people. Factors such as gender, race, nationality, and even age have no bearing on whether someone suffers from depression or not.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), globally, "...an estimated 3.8% of the population affected, including 5.0% among adults and 5.7% among adults older than 60 years..."
Depression displays in certain patterns, such as mood changes, physical difficulties, and social isolation. However, depression manifests differently in different people and feels different to different people.
Reddit users divulged what depression felt like to them when Redditor iodineseaspray asked:
"What does depression feel like to you?"
Some of this is sure to sound familiar.
The Worst Kind Of Boredom
"Like being more bored than you could imagine but also not wanting to do anything at all, even breathe. So you want to do something, but you can't imagine anything that you would like to do so you're just sort of stuck."
– BuddhistSlater
"So you then spend literally hours staring at a blank wall hating yourself, your life, and everything around you. Well, as much hate as you can summon in the absolutely mentally numb state you find yourself sat in day after day."
– merryman1
Lack Of Motivation and Energy
"Complete lack of motivation."
"Ignoring people that I love, and who are trying to help."
"Just sh*t"
– HatFromStraw
"I feel it extra at work. Letting things slide until you either get into trouble or trying last minute to prevent it."
"Funny those times when I'm working to save my butt, the depression goes away and i feel super focused and motivated."
"I try to carry that energy over but no, it's rinse and repeat."
– ExtraBitterSpecial
Powerful Insecurity
"Insecure about absolutely everything, no hope for the future, dissociation from society and not knowing how to “act” anymore, feeling like I’m not as good at the things I always thought I was good at or that the “talent is wasted on me”, only food cheers me up and sometimes even that doesn’t work"
– tenamonth
Loss Of Creativity
"This. It's like some numb fuzziness you feel in your brain. It's the worst thing ever for an artist who just wants to create but your brain comes up dry with a dense fog that wants to just lie down for a few hours"
– FinnProtoyeen
A Mental Inability To Breathe
"For me, it feels like I’m in a lake with a ball chain tied to my feet, desperately swimming up for air, the only problem is the chain isn’t long enough. I can only get an inch of my head out of the water to breath, and as soon as a high tide comes, the water just floods over me and I feel like I can’t breath again. I live like this, constantly feeling like I’m struggling to breathe, weighed down by my own mind. It’s a struggle and I can’t really describe it in any other way, I’m jealous of people who don’t worry about depression"
– DrowningInBrokeness
"Like suffocating under a heavy cloak"
– kmartfreak
"Like being crushed. Like if the air was crushing my muscles and bones and I can’t breathe because I’m being crushed…"
"Kinda like that."
– Afreshnewsketckbook
Listlessness
"Scrolling thru your steam library. Thinking you want to play something, either not settling on anything or not wanting to put the effort into the game. Going back to the scrolling."
– Aistadar
"It feels like you're forced to play a game of Monopoly (represents life) and your just rolling the dice to appease everyone but you genuinely don't care about where you go, where you land, what you pick up, what you pay, what you gain."
"You kind of just watch it happen without interest and while people are cheering or oh no-ing for you, you genuinely don't care. Everyone is a piece on this board that hardly matters and you feel like we're all just running in a circle over and over again and it's boring and disinteresting as hell."
"You lose all curiosity for everything and just let everything happen and pass by you. No motivation, hardly any love, hardly any care. Feels like the world is in black and white and your waiting for the game to end became it's so absolutely boring and disinteresting, but it never does."
"You come to resent the game and eventually hate it because it feels like you're being forced to play it and suffer it's consequences when you never asked to play it in the first place."
"That's what depression felt like for me. Since then I've been medicated and recieved therapy. I'm doing a lot better now and I don't feel this way anymore, thankfully."
- KnlghtLlghts
A Relation To Fantasy
"You know that scene in the Lord of the Rings where Bilbo is describing to Galndalf what having the Ring all those years felt like? "I feel thin. Like too much jam spread over too much bread." That's honestly the best way I've seen to describe it."
– Electrical_Age_336
"I always say the closest thing to compare it to is a dementor in harry potter. It sucks every ounce of happiness out of you until there is only darkness left."
"Side note: chocolate always helps"
– sunfacer
Fear Of Lack Of Justification
"Like someone close to you died yesterday. Expect no one has, and nothing has happened to justify how you feel."
– AlterEdward
A Physical Pain
"Physical pain in my heart, will start crying just by attending to the physical sensation in my body."
– sagieday
Help Yourself
"I've always described it as having a shadow fixed to your brain which fuels things like indecision and negativity. You can do things to temporarily help but you can't truly shift it. Previous normality is forgotten. But it's amazing how much you can mask it."
"I found I didn't realise how bad I was until I started to get better"
"For anyone suffering with depression. Please, please speak to someone. Best thing I ever did"
– DavosLostFingers
Depression isn't something you can just deal with or get over. Learning to cope is not easy. However, as Redditor DavosLostFingers pointed out, talking to someone can literally save your life.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression, contact the American Psychological Association by phone at 800.374.2721 or 202.336.5500.
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