Life is one of those things that happens whether you want it to or not, which means most of us have at least one moment where we suddenly realize we ended up someplace we never intended.
One Reddit user asked:
Oh, you thought you were alone in that? Nope. Not even close.
A lot of the responses ahead mention substance abuse, physical abuse, career dissatisfaction, and some gore. Read ahead with caution.
At Home AloneHappy Hour Reaction GIF Giphy
When I got drunk at home, alone, and started vomiting in the bathroom, my vomit red from the wine I drank.
I thought for a second that I am throwing up blood. Spend the next two hours in the bathroom, violently crying.
That was the moment I decided to get therapy. Had a pretty rough time back then.
In therapy now and slowly getting better.
I've been sober for two years and completely forgot that I used to do this too. Jesus Christ. 🤦🏻♀️
Working in fast food after graduating college with a 4.0 GPA.
I graduated into the 2008 crash, broadcasting. The iphone also hit around that time which helped speed up the irrelevance and death of radio.
It sucks, but I made a bad bet. Not everyone gets to win.
One was a scam and the other was calling just to wish me good luck (that was kind of nice). I had to work in a clothing store for a while at $6.90 an hour.
I know that feeling man.
After getting fired from a sales job that I took straight out of college (because it was the first thing that was offered to me and I leapt at the thought of a "real job") I found myself working at a coffee shop and living with my parents three years out from graduating college with nearly a 4.0 GPA.
It sucked and old classmates from high school would sometimes come in and I couldn't help but feel embarrassed.
Several years later I'm in a good job that matches my degree and I'm doing well for myself, but it took a little while to get there. And that's ok.
In retrospect though I shouldn't have felt any shame at working at a coffee shop. A job is a job and the idea that I was somehow above it was stupid. But I get what you're saying about just feeling like you went to college for no reason.
When I smoked a piece of floor crumb thinking (hoping) it was a piece of drugs I dropped. No idea what it was, but it was most definitely not drugs.
I was a f*ck up for about 6 years and it took me almost twice that to fix things.
Drugs are bad man. I mean, they are really goddamn amazing, but what they do to you is terrible.
When I was young, I was crazy in love with a man who told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and then shot himself five days later. It turned my world upside down and gave me a crazy savior complex.
A few years later, I was in a new relationship. He was a full blown alcoholic, unemployed combat veteran with horrendous PTSD, serious mommy issues and other stuff, and I just knew I could save him. I paid all our bills, worked three jobs to keep up with everything, slept about 3 hours a night because I was regularly jostled awake by his night terrors, did all of the housework and emotional labor in the relationship.
I came home from a 14 hour day to find him shaking on the couch next to a trash can full of vomit. Turns out he'd been going through withdrawals all day because he hadn't gotten his morning bottle quick enough. The next round of vomit was bloody, so my little 140 lbs self hailed his 220 lbs ass out to my car and rushed him into the ER. All his vitals were terrible and a nurse pulled me aside when I went to the bathroom to let me know that they didn't think he was gonna make it. They sent him to another bigger hospital to get treated, he asked me to get a few things from the apartment including his phone and meet them there.
When I picked up his phone, he had a whole bunch of messages from his "Auntie" which I opened, thinking I'd update her that he was not doing well and in the hospital.
"Auntie" ended up being his coworker (he was 29). There were flirty messages, dirty messages and pictures.
He survived, but my love for him and respect for myself sure didn't. I didn't leave that night sadly, but did eventually.
I'm Still Not The Same
I was really bad into drugs for a while when I was a teenager. One night while at a camping event, I mixed way too many things.
I couldn't move, think, or speak, and my brain felt like it was literally being rewired. If you can imagine a closed circuit with electricity popping off of it in every direction, that's what my brain felt like. All I could do was lay there while a bunch of rebel flag flying rednecks tried to run our tents over.
I had a panic attack for 10 hours. I finally was able to move enough to lift the blanket and sit up... when I looked down, my legs were covered in blood. Apparently I'd gotten my leg sliced open at some point.
My boyfriend at the time had to carry me to the truck and into the house once we got there. He had to undress me, bathe me, dry me off, and put me in the bed. Here I am 8 years later, and I'm still not the same.
My personality, ability to quickly solve problems on the fly, my memory, etc... everything changed. There was a significant lag in my ability to retain information for a few years. I'm sure I killed a lot of my brain cells that night just being stupid.
I had 0 regard for my life or any of the consequences that I could have potentially had to deal with afterward. I just didn't care.
I never really had issues with anxiety before then. It was out of control for a long time after, and I would often find myself curled up in the fetal position on the floor almost feeling completely paralyzed.
Just WaitingMeme Reaction GIF by Silicon Valley Giphy
Now really. I'm a mechanic for a firm that handles dangerous chemicals.
The job is fine but I want to do more with my life. I want to see the world and see more interesting things. I get to work at 6 work till 3. Wash and repeat.
I want to see the northern lights. I want to go to the Algarves. I want to sit on a beach with a coffee in my hand after just waking up and seeing my kids play in the sand. Instead I'm paying a house off, making sure the kids fit in our school system by giving him Ritalin and just wasting away and waiting for a diagnosis that's terminal.
It's like being locked in a cage. We bought a caravan and have a car that can pull it were ready to go but you're stuck at home because this pandemic won't let you do anything. We're not allowed to drive anywhere or over night anywhere at the min and it's like being in a cage.
I see loads of mates getting cancer or what ever some have died and I feel like I'm doing them disservice not living my life to the full, and that they'd loved to have been able to carry on living. Depressing but hey.
Realizing I was the toxic one.
It's far too easy to fall into the grasp of obsession and hatred. I fumed at the mention of other people being abusive to others... and remained ignorant that I was exactly the same. I'm better now, I think. I hope.
Devotion can be beautiful, but can just as easily be an ugly, pitiful thing.
I was living in Alabama in 2006, desperately trying to clean a mess my autistic 3-year-old had made on the kitchen floor before my abusive ex-husband got home from work. My ex had basically kept me from pursuing a career or furthering my education, and was isolating me from any friends that weren't his.
It was the middle of summer, and I felt gross and sweaty and hated being on my hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor.
My daughter was an excellent reader, although she only ever spoke things that she read. She brought over a TV guide from the living room which had a full two-page spread advertising the show HEROES before its pilot premiered.
"Some people are meant for something more," she read. "Are YOU meant for something more?"
My ex tried to kill me 2 years after this story. I fled Alabama with my kid and spent a lot of time in poverty.
But I taught myself the skills to enter an amazing industry, I remarried an incredible person who does most of the cleaning, and my autistic daughter just got accepted to Oxford.
My ex hasn't tried to see or communicate with (or support) his kid since she was 6 years old, but it's a small price to pay to never have to think about him.
A Different Field Of Employment
I am a registered EMT. The worst day of my life was a call I took when I was the lead EMT on the scene ie. I was in charge of telling the other EMTs what to do and all around was in control of the incident.
It was in a small public women's bathroom. I walked in and was immediately greeted by a woman screaming in a bathroom stall. I walked to the stall door and opened it. I froze.
There was a woman sitting on the floor covered in blood with an umbilical cord hanging out of her attached to an unresponsive newborn laying face down in the toilet.
The woman's screaming continued and I just stood there frozen the color drained completely from my face. I did absolutely nothing and was being to get tunnel vision when a more experienced EMT that was with me realize what was happening.
He pushed me out of the way and began shouting orders to the other EMTs.
The woman then went unresponsive due to blood loss and the absence of her screams helped me snap back to life and fulfill my duties. The baby did not make it however the woman did.
Here's the twist. All of this took place during my practical evaluations for my EMT classes. The entire situation was fake, the woman was an actor, the blood and gore was all done by professional makeup artists and I knew all of this when I entered the scene.
Still with all that I completely froze and couldn't do anything. I still ended up passing my evaluations and got certified but after that I decided to enter a different field of employment.
Logical SenseIssa Rae Reaction GIF Giphy
Was engaged to a man who was financially, emotionally and occasionally physically violent, all in front of our 2 yo daughter.
Then I met a man who asked me why I stayed. I couldn't come up with an answer that made logical sense.
I packed our stuff up and moved back in with my dad. BEST decision ever! Ended up marrying the other guy and now have a beautiful home, healthy relationship and another kiddo.
I was a grad student working long hours to become a professor some day.
Then my advisor, who is much smarter than I am, who sacrificed having a family and basically never took any down time was denied tenure. When that happens, not only do you not get the brass ring, you actually are FIRED and have to search for a new job.
I had been focused on my research, sacrificing MANY MANY things I was interested in but had no time for. I saw that and that's when I said what the f**k am I doing?"
I finished my PhD and quit. Went into business instead. Made lots of money and have a great family life.
Tenure track is racket. It's a way to get highly skilled cheap labor. If you divide the salary by the hours it's not even minimum wage and no job security unless you win the prize.
Yesterday. Today. Day before. All three.
My dad's going to die today.
He got Covid, started to recover, hospital tried to put in a central line. Failed.
He started bleeding internally and wouldn't clot. He couldn't breathe so they put him on a ventilator. Somewhere during and after all that, he had two seizures.
I asked the doctor what the f*ck happened. He says, "complications from covid."
I ask him where the bleeding is from. He says "All over. We don't know."
I hear from other people that it started after they tried to put in the central line. His blood just refuses to clot.
They pump 10 units of blood through him. Won't clot. Unconscious, won't regain consciousness. They're going to take him off life support in 8 hours.
I'm 40 years old. I have no wife. No children. I rent a room out of a house near work.
At my age, my dad had a wife, three children, and a home. For all his faults, I look at where he was, where I am, and at the only things that really matter.
I do not measure up.
I am my father's son and I am a failure.
He is about to pass and, in my eyes, I am only and will ever be a disappointment to him. He will never know anything else.
Bean Bag Black Hole
After losing our daughter, my husband and I couldn't sleep in our (former) bedroom anymore. We had it set up so she was sleeping in the same room. Sids is a nightmare from which you never wake up, as much as months of screaming "it isn't real" and begging each other to answer when we'd really wake up would make you think just maybe it is.
We slept on an old, lumpy, horribly uncomfortable black bean bag chair pulled into the living room/common space that a housemate had brought when they moved in quite some time prior. We slept on that pit of depression for four(?) months fucking up our backs and frankly, hoping we wouldn't wake up.
Covid hit RIGHT after her death so social distancing was a blessing and a curse as it was an extra reason to lay there mindlessly watching lets plays because we couldn't cope with the silence of a house that no longer held the cries of a newborn.
One day, we couldn't do it anymore. Someone gave us a new bed they no longer needed because we couldn't even look at the one we used prior, a reminder of days when we'd sit on it and hold her. When we got that bed, I remember staring at that beanbag in horror, wondering how much time we'd truly spent laying on it in a fog of alternating apathy and inconsolable pain; wondering how much we could have been doing if we didn't let it suck us in, like a black hole.
Because that's what it was. It was a black hole of depression manifested into the most uncomfortable "bed" this world has ever seen.
So much time zombified. Not eating, not sleeping, staying up and pulling blankets down from his face and making sure he was breathing every night.
That was the most I think I could bring myself to do then, besides mindlessly clean the bathroom and stare at food in cabinets I couldn't make myself eat.
We dragged that thing outside and literally tore it apart, filling six trash bags with what ended up being cut up foam chunks of various hardness (some like bricks, some soft as a bunny, all sizes in completely hacked up and jagged shapes).
It was liberating. It was gutting the misery that gutted us.
We didn't start acting like real people and DOING things again until we set the bed up.
Our old bedroom is still unused outside of a place to contain dressers. Our daughter's dresser is in another room and always was, it's become more of a memorial. The pack and play is covered up kept near her dresser.
We're expecting another child in late spring, though all the girl clothes won't do us very much good (I doubt he'd appreciate seeing baby photos dressed head to toe in pink hand me downs from other moms when he gets older regardless of how much I care about gendered clothing and how bullshit a concept that is).
My dad has been holding onto the other baby stuff in his basement for us. We didn't expect to have another child so soon nor do we see him as a replacement which I'd like to make very clear, though for some time I do recall we'd look at each other and whisper we would feel as empty as our arms until there was someone we could hold again. Besides our lizards, who are very helpful and loving boys that brought us all the snugs we could ever need before it all happened and after.
I don't know how they feel about having a little brother who is twice/three times their size soon, but I'm sure they'll be okay with it.
Her birthday would have been Saturday. On this day last year I went into the hospital to begin a very stubborn induction. It's not an easy week, but god damn. We learned to move forward when we ditched that fucking thing, we're people again, we've been making significant progress in life. We've come a long way.
I didn't know how badly I needed to write this out tonight. Thank you, OP. This was extremely cathartic.
A couple years ago, while taking a walk through a park I spotted a homeless guy that didn't look right, slumped against a tree. Went to investigate and found that he was likely OD'd.
I tried chest compression to get his heart going as I called the authorities. Nobody came.
I ended up waiting by the tree with the guy for a couple hours in the rain.
I just remember sitting next to him, thinking about a lot of things. I ended up looking over my life up to that point, and decided again that I had to keep trying and get up.
every day I sit in front of my work laptop, I regularly ask myself "wtf am I doing with my life?" and it's incredibly weird because on paper, everything is going great with my life, all things considered.
I just don't get it.
From time to time I'll get lit, and same thing, the thoughts come back. WTF am I doing with my life?
All my life I thought "I love the idea of programming, getting paid well and sitting in front of a pc instead of working outside!"
Now that I am exactly in this situation, I'm not that happy as I thought. Yes there are some good days, but all around life seems kinda ... monotone.
Probably not the worst, but it was a milestone.
As a grown, single woman, dating a single man, I found myself hiding in his room from his housemate because of his religious/sexual hangups.
I asked myself what the f*ck I was doing with my life and resolved then to stop dating men who weren't actually equipped to be in a relationship.
I was watching porn of something I'm not even remotely attracted to. I happened to see my reflection and everything changed.
I used to masturbate 5-12x a day like it was nothing. It got so bad I didn't have to be hard to orgasm. It was like my unit knew. I was sore for a good month.
After seeing my reflection, I started following "no fap" expecting I'd get superpowers and suddenly have more focus and confidence, etc.
Very quickly I realized that sh*t was absolutely NOT working and I eventually just gathered my courage and started talking to girls and stopped being a little b*tch about it.
I socialized more, talked more, and eventually got a girlfriend and had sex. I moved on from multiple times a day chronic masturbation.
It was bad bro. All I did was play video games at least 18 hours a day and the other part was spent beating and sleeping. I was so compulsive I even muted my mic mid game just to do it. It was terrible.
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There is a world full of mysteries to explore right at our very feet.
Do we engage with it on a level that might make us more uncomfortable? Well, if we really want to learn everything there is to know about our planet earth, we have to engage in the unsettling facts. They appear across every discipline.
The Easier Way Out<p>During the French Revolution, where the guillotine was introduced, the people to be executed fought to be first, as the blade would dull after multiple uses and wouldn't cut a head clean off at the first attempt.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Back2Bach/" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p><p>And the last execution by guillotine in France was the same year Star Wars came out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/CaptainPrower/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CaptainPrower</a></p>
At LEAST One?!<p>You have probably unknowingly encountered, or walked past at least one murderer in your lifetime.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/theprettyunicorn/" target="_blank">theprettyunicorn</a></p><p>For sure encountered. Worked night shift at a convenience store, guy pulled in to put gas came in the store used the atm and left. 3 min later swarm of cops surrounded the store. He had just murdered his family a couple states over and cops got a hit when he used the atm machine.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cool1Mach/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Cool1Mach</a></p>
WELP<p>For a long time it was believed that babies were too underdeveloped to be able to feel pain, and as such, did not need anesthetic for any kind of surgeries.</p><p>Up into the 1980's.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FartKilometre/" target="_blank">FartKilometre</a></p>
Internet History<p>Eventually, most of the content on the internet will have been created by dead people.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Phaesporic/" target="_blank">Phaesporic</a></p><p>Now I'm imagining a class like English literature but for internet culture and picturing a bored class with some kids sleeping while the teacher is saying some shit like "Okay class this meme is 100 years old and it says Me and the Boys going out to get some B E A N S what do the B E A N S symbolize and how does it reflect what was going on in society ? " lmao.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cheshire_Cat8888/" target="_blank">Cheshire_Cat8888</a></p>
Awful, Awful<p>There are estimated to be at least 25 active serial killers in the United States alone at any given time. Very few will be detected, much less apprehended.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/brideofchuckydoll/" target="_blank">brideofchuckydoll</a></p><p>Derrick Todd Lee and Sean Vincent Gillis were both active serial killer in the same city from the late 90s to early 2000s. For most of this time, law enforcement did not realize they were trying to catch multiple individuals, much less that they were acting completely independently of each other. On top of that, there are additional unsolved murders that neither was ever linked to whose evidence raises the possibility of a third active serial killer in the area during the same time period.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/see-bees/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">see-bees</a></p>
Viewer, Beware....<p>National parks are not all swings and roundabouts. Over 1600 people have gone inside Yellowstone National Park and never come out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/I_Am_A_Master-Baiter/" target="_blank">I_Am_A_Master-Baiter</a></p><p>Yellowstone is known for boiling water and pools of acid. People on this earth put gorrilla glue in their hair. I don't have any questions about what happened.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MCqStep/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MCqStep</a></p>
Statistically....<p>If you end up being the victim of a violent crime, you probably know the perpetrators. You probably trust them, most likely, you love them.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Double-Kicks/" target="_blank">Double-Kicks</a></p><p>People find it weird when the police declare most family members and close friends of murder victims to be suspects, but this is precisely why. You are FAR more likely to be (deliberately) killed by someone you know than a stranger. Also, in most countries and demographics, the most likely person to deliberately kill you is you.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/kutuup1989/" target="_blank">kutuup1989</a></p>
Our Brains Are Unsettling, Too<p>There is a rare genetic degenerative brain disorder called Fatal Familial Insomnia. FFI starts as a mild inability to sleep followed by short bouts of intense nightmares/dreams and progressively deteriorates until the sufferer is completely unable to sleep, at all. Eventually impacting the human ability to microsleep as a last ditch effort of self preservation. There is no cure for FFI and eventually sufferers lose their minds and die of sleep deprivation. But it gets so much worse.</p><p>Due to the degenerative nature of the condition as it progresses you begin deteriorating mentally and physically. You lose the ability to regulate body temperature and may swing between freezing and sweating, you develop severe memory problems, confusion, agitation, weight loss, paranoia, hallucinations, speech problems, double vision, loss of motor controls (similar to parkinsons), inability to swallow, increased blood pressure and production of tears as well as many other unpleasant symptoms. The combination of your mind going and your body shutting down eventually kills you.</p>
Rise Of The Machines<p>There so far at least two fatalities as a result of robots, both of industrial type.</p><p>The first was in Flat Rock, Michigan in 1979 when an engineer was killed when he was hit in the back and crushed while retrieving parts at an automobile factory. It was due to a malfunctioning industrial robot he was fixing. The second was in Akashi, Hyōgo, Japan where a maintenance worker was fixing a broken-down robot when it came to life by mistake. Both locations happened in factories that are well-known for manufacturing vehicles.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MissSara101/" target="_blank">MissSara101</a></p>
So Can We Fix The Justice System Now<p>One to five percent of the US prison population is estimated to be innocent.</p><p>Combine that with the fact that one percent of the US population is incarcerated and your chance of being wrongly imprisoned in the 21st century is around 1 in 1000 in America.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Crocoshark/" target="_blank">Crocoshark</a></p>
Let's be honest, most of us don't read the Terms and Conditions before we click that little "I Agree" button. Most of you probably aren't even going to read this intro.
A huge chunk of you are going to open this article and immediately scroll to "the meat" because we're all about getting to the good stuff. But that rush can sometimes mean missing out on some seriously important tidbits of info.
The Catch Was...<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxNy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0Mzg2NjM3N30.Zr6T7LGuuXaTr7NKBFfaCTwEc0Fvu3yJ-KdYO-Xk_No/img.gif?width=980" id="c41a3" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f677f014d9104effd3b059212c9af24c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Giphy<p>I financed some furniture when I was young and getting established in my first professional job. It was interest-free financing for the first 12 months. </p><p>The catch was that if you paid late, they would charge you a fee, back-interest from the beginning of the loan period, and you would lose the interest free status for the rest of the loan. The APR was 29.9%, compounded monthly! </p><p>I couldn't imagine getting to the 11th payment and having something go wrong so a payment is late, then pay basically double what I had financed on the furniture.</p><p>I paid it off in 6 months, and I never did in-store financing again.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnx5tr1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p>This is most interest free gimmicks. Educate your friends. Usually the young ones fall victim to this.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny23jj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Chimmiii</a></p><p>I sold furniture and we had financing like this and I made sure to always tells my customers this so they couldn't come at me later on down the road. Others didn't and it just seemed so shady and f*cked up to me.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxldnd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Piccolo_known</a></p>
Get It From The Next Owner<p>I almost signed a contract that granted 50% of profits to the previous owner of the business for 3 years. It was a restaurant that used a conventional microwave instead of an actual oven.</p><p>This was back in the early 2000's and this place had a wonderful 50's vibe. From the bar, to the stools to booths - but it was empty because the food was SO bad and there was fast food up the road.</p><p>We were going to get a pizza oven in there and turn it into a Pizza/Shake place with soup in the winter. </p><p>When the law STUDENT we paid $500 to look over everything (DO THIS!) asked the seller about it for us, they said that they had sunk so much money into the business, the only way to make the money back was to get it from the next owner somehow.</p><p>Good luck with that.</p><p>We could not get them to remove that clause, the owner was hellbent on making the next person be the one to make the business successful and pay them.</p>
18 Months<p>A realtor once gave me a contract that said she would be the only person allowed to represent the property for 18 months.</p><p>That means that they were the only person that could try to sell the house. For <em>a year and a half</em>. We could not work with a different agent if we felt that this one wasn't doing enough, not responding, if we weren't happy, etc. </p><p>If we did, this agent would still get commission from the sale that that other agent actually made.</p><p>Nope. No way was I going to agree to being attached to someone for a year and a half like that. We found a different realtor with a 3 month term (which is much closer to standard), told the first one that her terms were ridiculous, and was under contract within 10 days.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny1hbr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Tricky-Garden</a></p>
Idol Entitlement<p>Canadian Idol auditions when the first show was announced. Read the contract to the very end after signing it.</p><p>"you agree to being filmed 24/7. We can enter your room at any time and record personal phone calls and interactions with anyone." </p><p>That received a hard no for me. Ripped up the contract and never looked back. Thank god I read that before submitting it.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jenskal</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Tell the camera crew to get out or get weird.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz2mr7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WielderOfDaNWordPass</a></p><p>Fine want to record me 24/7? Congrats, I have IBS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz0d4s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wanderurlyy</a></p>
Phone Privileges<p>To be able to link my phone's outlook reader to my university account, I would had to give the IT-department permission to wipe my phone clean "if needed."</p><p>No thanks, I'll just use browser instead.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">craftaliis</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I saw an employment contract where, if you did any company business on your cell phone, they could go through your phone and delete/restrict basically whatever they wanted. </p><p>I advised my friend to make a company-provided phone part of her contract.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Yeah. Someone at my old company had a commonish name, and someone lost their phone... and the company wiped the wrong phone.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnye6z8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">blargh2947</a></p>
The Good Ol' US of A<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyOTA1MDM5M30.A1BqwoI_FExTt3jqON2xJbJN1qt62txRrTsJ8V5Ybs8/img.gif?width=980" id="99844" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9236d4a9b82c22589577961a2a710924" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Season 3 America GIF by Broad CityGiphy<p>Any health and safety terms and conditions in USA. </p><p>I was working on adapting a US one for a charity event in the UK run by the same people and oh boy you cannot get away with that here. One line said if an employee harmed you in any way (even intentionally), you could not sue... </p><p>What!? </p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnydf7s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">lt52-</a></p>
Keep It<p>Free ceiling insulation. </p><p>The catch? You allowed a company to install temperature sensors around the inside of your house, and they can do that at any time. And you have to allow access for them to check the sensors and get readings, adjust things, and remove the sensors. Everything belongs to the company. </p><p>This means letting randos into your house potentially over and over to get their readings from the electrical crap they put in your house. </p><p>Nah I'm good, keep your insulation.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyrbn7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bumpequalsbump</a></p>
Airlines<p>Was going to post this as a response on another thread, but I want people to actually see it.</p><p>When you book a flight, in the terms and conditions (especially for basic and econo fares) you agree that in the event of your flight getting canceled due to an act outside of the airlines control they don't have to refund you unless they offer you a travel credit.</p><p>That includes a world spanning virus.</p><p>Don't be cheap, get travelers insurance or pay for the higher fare that has a refund clause.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bpanio</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a></p>
Crepes<p>I worked for a meat pie company that moved over from Australia that made me sign a contract that I would never work for another meat pie company or open an establishment that sells similar food. I didn't read the fine print. </p><p>They also sold a few other things ... like crepes. Sure enough, I wanted to open a food truck and my partner had her sights on crepes as she made them in her previous food truck and it just happened a truck we were buying was set up to make similar things. </p><p>I gave 1 month notice because they were busy and I didn't want to leave them stranded in high season. I told the owner we were working on a food truck we bought, it was a dream coming true, and that it happens we are doing crepes as my partner is French and had done them before.</p>
This Sparks Joy<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTU2NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTY0OTgxM30.takzFO7X_vx_UzNvPeNEvpcYSGho5_AZNX-itkNSdOE/img.gif?width=980" id="d78cf" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="09a8efb07fb739ec04f38de1406639f5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="276" />Giphy<p>I'm pretty sure I gave google the rights to all of my Spotify data when they gave me a free google home. </p><p>On one hand, RIP privacy. </p><p>On the other hand, knowing some poor algorithm has to figure out some possible way to advertise things to me based on listening to Knock On Wood 57 times in a row and the soundtrack to Starship Troopers on repeat gives me great joy.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnywvs7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OakNogg</a></p>
Claim $100<p>Back when the internet really started being a thing, some company/website put something in their terms and conditions about the first person who reads it, can contact them to claim a $100 prize. </p><p>Took five years for somebody to claim the prize.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RubyShooz </a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I wonder how much of that is people not reading it and how much is people reading it and thinking "surely somebody's already claimed this by now, why bother?"</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyj0gy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Novaseerblyat</a></p>
Amazon ... Should We Be Worried?<p>Not really an example of the worst thing, but you're not allowed to use Amazon's game engine (Lumberyard) for military/nuclear applications normally, but that restriction is suspended specifically if there's a zombie apocalypse</p><p><a href="https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/</a> Clause 47.10: "<em>this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence (certified by the United States Centers for Disease Control or successor body) of a widespread viral infection transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization</em></p><p><em></em>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3skb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OldGodsAndNew</a></p>
Most Ridiculous<p>I recall a major airline in the pioneer days won an award for most ridiculous TOS to simply look up a flight arrival time on their web site.</p><p>If I recall, it was a 22,000 word document that an analysis said was written at a post graduate reading level. It states that you would, in perpetuity, never use that computer to connect to any other airline's website.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyb3lm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">NightMGR</a></p><p>What were they planning on doing about it if you broke the contract? Send a hitman after you or something?</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/go1hpi5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ChungusFungus303</a></p>
Citibank Is Serious Business<p>When I started work for Citibank, they asked me to sign two documents;</p><ol><li>promising I would never use encryption for any purpose other than Citibank's for as long as I live.</li><li>promising to obey the laws of all 196 countries on earth that Citibank operates in.</li></ol><p>So obviously I looked at my cubicle mate and stoned her to death for exposing her wrists, and I can no longer use HTTPS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyy0u3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">beachbbqlover</a></p>
Death is scary. It brings the unknown of the great beyond, whether that's heaven, some other afterlife, or total nothingness, depending on what you believe.
But there is one perk that comes with death: total control of your funeral.
Let the Games Begin<p>"I got a request for the deceased to be dressed up in a Where's Waldo costume and to have 12 other identical caskets in the room so the guests could try to guess where he was by opening coffins randomly."</p><p>"Each guest was to play this guessing game and then sit down before the next person could enter so everyone could play the game."</p><p>"Problem was not everyone wanted to play the game.....super odd but they paid a lot for it."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnylmi3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ramontgomery</a></p>
Dead In a Faraway Galaxy<p>"The deceased was a huge Star Wars fan and left explicit instructions for his funeral."</p><p>"As funeral organist, I was requested to play Star Wars principal themes on the grand pipe organ for prelude music, processional and recessional."</p><p>"As I once described, pall bearers were dressed in main characters costumes and "Obi-Wan Kenobi" gave an inspired eulogy, drawing upon memorable moments from the series."</p><p>"Using 'full organ' (all the stops out) for climatic moments, I played the <em>Imperial March</em> at the conclusion of the funeral before those in attendance departed for the cemetery for the committal."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxielt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p>
A True Celebration of the Life He Lived<p>"I'm a florist, and I've created some unique tributes out of fresh flowers, and more."</p><p>"I made a putting green two feet across, complete with ball, tee and a club for an avid golfer. I constructed a fish out of various blooms and leaves, placed by a lakeside foliage spray. I've made rainbows and black and white themed arrangements. I put a lot of heart into memorial pieces."</p><p>"A few years ago, I was helping a family decide on their tributes for a much-loved man. The wife stressed he was known for his big blue Giant Eagle truck, and most of their friends were from the driver's union."</p><p>"I volunteered myself for a watercolor picture of the truck around which I would design a floral spray. It took four attempts, but I was finally happy, and framed it."</p><p>"Two days later, I received the most wonderful letter from his wife, and said that everyone agreed it was the most appropriate and important statement about his life. It will sit on her mantle for the rest of her life."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnyf7h2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">cavepainted</a></p>
Friends Til the Very End<p>"My family owns a grave digging business as well as lawn and garden statues, someone purchased an 8ft tall gorilla statue."</p><p>"My dad delivered it and asked what they were going to do with it and where they were putting it, the guys said their friends dying wish was to be stuffed up this concrete gorillas a**, and that's what they did."</p><p>"They drilled a whole in the a** and put their buddies ashes inside"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnytm2i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hayhay428</a></p>
Always Watching<p>"My husband found out they can make gems out of cremains, and now he wants to be reduced to 2 jewels seated in his own eye sockets."</p><p>"I don't want a skull! I don't want to own his skull! I don't want him to watch me with his evil gem eyes!"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gny5vcy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ParadiseSold</a></p>
For Science<p>"My own will requests that my right eye be removed, preserved and delivered to my oncologist in Miami for him to do with whatever he sees fit."</p><p>"Hopefully as a teaching aid to new optometry students, but if he wants to use it for pranks I'm totally fine with that too."</p><p>"I survived a very unusual eye cancer and they had to do all kinds of experimental things to repair it when all was done. I jokingly suggested I donate it to science when I went and he said that was an amazing idea. So, here you go."</p><p>"I hope whoever deals with my corpse has fun with that request."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxp6ri?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">zerbey</a> </p>
One Last Look<p>"My wife's uncle asked the funeral director when he dies he would like his eyes open in the casket during his viewing."</p><p>"His entire life everyone commented on his big baby blue eyes and he wanted them open for people to see one last time."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnycdzg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Agreeable-Scratch424</a></p>
One Last F-You<p>"One rich guy hated his kids and didn't want them to get a cent of his wealth. He therefore wanted all his money to spent on a mausoleum for his coffin with a rose garden around it and the eternal upkeep thereof."</p><p>"He had the city council-approved architectural plans for the mausoleum included in his will and testament."</p><p>"He demanded in his will that the remaining funds, after construction, must go to a gardening service to maintain the rose garden and clean off the bird poop from his mausoleum in perpetuity until the money runs out in a few centuries."</p><p>"The mausoleum is in Cemetery de Saint Rambert outside Lyon, France."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxnk4q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JingoisticJeremiah</a></p>
Utter Indifference<p>"My coworker was meeting a client who was picking up his mother's cremains. My coworker has the client sign a release, then hands him the urn."</p><p>The man immediately turns around and drops the urn into the trash can."</p><p>"My coworker is a 40 year funeral director veteran, and without missing a beat, he says, 'Sir, I can understand your strong feelings about your mother, but I cannot allow you to leave that here. What you do once you get out the door is up to you and God.' " </p><p>"Dude picked up the urn and left without a word."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnybff8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">keliez</a></p>
To Reflect What She Was Like, Or Never Did?<p>"My mom asked the embalmer to put a few stitches in my grandma's cheeks to give her a faint smile. </p><p>"At the time it seemed like an odd, even slightly morbid request, but 20+ years on, it's one of the only things I remember from her funeral. It was kind of lovely, actually."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnx79mi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Fearless_Lab</a></p>
After we've watched a movie, it can be difficult to imagine the film as a project that took months or years to finally culminate into the product we see at the theater or on our television.
But it was built and hacked together, piece by piece.