It's easy to think back on your school days as the best time of your life...
Who are we kidding? Middle school was a waking nightmare and we all just barely survived high school. Terrible, dystopian stories littered school campuses all over the country and, fortunately, the internet is here to gather up some of the worst for us.
WARNING: Some entries involve murder and sexual conduct.
Reddit user, u/Throwawayv6969, wanted to hear about the worst school days when they asked:
Darn It! So Close!
So, at the beginning of maybe my sophomore year of high school, we were all announced that if they were no fights for the entire school year, every class would get a pizza party, pretty stupid, I know, but it surprisingly almost worked. Up until about a couple of weeks before the school year ended and there was a fight in one of the main halls. Someone shouted, "Great! We don't get a pizza party now!"
An Over The Top Respose
A substitute teacher was trying to get the attention of a troublesome student who had earbuds in playing music. The teacher went up and pulled the earbuds out and the dude got up and started beating the sh-t out of the poor old man. He would've killed him too if my teacher hadn't taken him down.
Sounds Like Something Boys Would Do...Or Idiots.
One of the most f-cked up things I saw at school were 2 lads in biology class, they were sat next to each other and both had a scalpel each for dissecting frogs or something like that. Anyway one jabs the other one slightly with the blade in the arm enough to draw a little bit of blood. The other one reacts with a harder jab to the other with his blade in his arm while shouting f-ck off.
Anyway this escalated to the point where both of their arms ended up completely butchered with neither of them backing down with harder and deeper cuts with blood all over the classroom. It was crazy to watch ( the teacher had left the room while all this was happening )
Be Sure To Look At The Grade Level
A boy and a girl from my class once went to the girls' bathroom to down shots of liquor during a break in the middle of the schoolday in 5th grade. I was there to guard the door to make sure they wouldn't be caught.
This one would be up there
More Money, More Problems
Happened a week ago before coronacation was announced. I'm a foreign exchange student in the US and this freshman I knew was secretly cracking bank accounts and PayPal accounts, selling the information online etc.. 5 days before the closing of the school he got arrested in middle of class, because he was flexing with his stolen bank accounts and somebody reported him (He actually had over $750k+).
Ended up being a good exchange memory for me.
The WHAT Week?
Some boys in 6th grade had a fight in the canteen. Apparently one of boys talked sh-t about the other boy's mother. Of course the boy got pissed and started beating the sh-t out of him. They were pushing, cursing, kicking, punching and screaming at each other. The teachers stopped the fight and both boys got suspended.
This was only the first week of school. That escalated fast.
I've got plenty but I'll just stick to one topic. So the kids at my school are kinda stupid and think that it's funny to flush stuff down the toilet. Within this shortened school year someone has flushed a Nike sneaker, a dead squirrel, a big fish and a sh-t ton of condoms. I know you can find the first 3 on Snapchat and the last one is because my school is full of horny people who decide the bathrooms are their personal trash cans and sex spots.
A Funeral For Everyone But You
My cousin (by marriage, not by blood) got killed in a car accident during my sophomore year. She was really popular around the school, a cheerleader and heavily liked by everyone. That day was weird. I wasn't too heavily affected because we weren't close by any means but everyone else? Damn. They brought in grief counselors to the library so people could talk to them, friends were just bawling, and I don't recall any classes actually being taught that day. It was just silent altogether. The funeral was pretty big. I won't forget other family members just crying throughout the whole thing.
In middle school, some guy who was known to be rebellious, stabbed the eye of a female classmate of mine with an orange sharpie. Orange liquid came out of her eyeball and it was dripping around everywhere because she was screaming and running around out of panic.
Just All Good Things
Well there was that one time where we had 6-7 fights in a single day.
There was also that one time where we had to go into a 20-25 minute lockdown because some kid got into a fight or argument and their mom or dad ended up coming to back their kid up. People thought that the parent had a gun or something.
Oh, that reminds me, when I was a freshman, people were starting to go home when suddenly everyone just started running in the opposite direction ASAP, running into random classrooms. Turns out, some dude got arrested by the cops and according to some people, they literally cuffed him on our school's door steps.
Would They Then Retreat To The Rafters Afterwards?
The phantom sh-tter.
We're All Going To Go On A Trip
Someone thought it would be a great idea to bring in magic mushrooms and hand them out to people in my year (13/14 years old at the time).
About 20 kids were off their faces during lunch-break and last lesson.
The kids that got high were suspended for a week and the dude who brought in the shrooms got expelled from the school.
Doing Something So Stupid Everybody Knows About
A guy ran into one of these thick glass doors.
The door had a big fat crack afterwards and had to be replaced. The guy was completely fine.
A True Bloodbowl
Not my story, but my brother's, Someone split their head open, like properly open, and while the ambulance was coming, the teachers just gave him a bowl to bleed into, by the time the ambulance got there the bowl was almost full and he looked like a dead man walking.
Just Like REAL Political Figures!
When the officers of the high school student council had meetings, they'd lock the door and break out the coke, right in the middle of the conference room but out of view from the window on the door (only way to see in). The conference room they used was in the main office just feet away from the principle, VP, and school resource officer.
A close second, one of the guys, who was one of the smartest in the school and had went through all the gifted programs in elementary and middle school, in high school became a major xtc trafficker. Not just reselling a few pills to students, but making deals with hundreds at a time. And he eventually got up to taking like 20 a day himself. Not just a rumor either, after he quit that after graduation, we became very close friends. It's wonderful that he completely turned things around too, now has a long career as a firefighter and a wonderful family.
A Bit Of Bad Luck.
Girl had a seizure at the top of a flight of concrete stairs. The janitor caught her but not before a couple of bounces. The whole right side of her body was paralyzed for life.
She was a good kid, her parents ditched out on her and she was living with her sickly grandma. Supposedly it was caused by stress but I have no idea if that's true.
Her whole life f-cked beyond recovery by a bit of bad luck.
German teacher on the verge of retirement was accused of trading good grades for a bj by a student that was at my school in the 80's. No one believed it because the man was the sweetest teacher anyone had ever had.
Then another student came forward with the same story, and then another, and another. Turns out this guy was getting blowies on the regular all through the 80's. All the girls were of age when this happened so by the time all this came to light there was very little the school could do, so the guy was just quietly pushed into retirement.
When I was in 8th grade, a 4th grader and her older sister in high school were both shot and killed point blank by their father, who then killed himself. Their mom was so lost, and she still wears a pin with their faces on it every single day.
It was weird, for about a week the school was silent. Bullying just stopped all together. The lunch room was quiet all day. I still remember their mom and the 4th grader's best/only friend wailing at the funeral.
Wow, almost the exact same thing happened at my school when I was in sixth grade. There is a small woods in my neighborhood, the guy took his family there and shot them. I don't think he did anything to his wife but I do know he had a son and daughter, both younger than me. The youngest child was in my little brother's kindergarten class. After he killed them, he killed himself. Both kids went to our school, which didn't have a huge student body at the time, so a lot of people knew them at least in passing. They turned a couple of classrooms into "comfort rooms" for the next few weeks, with stuffed animals and counseling available and a table set up to make the mother cards and stuff. I don't know how she could ever get over something like that. My little brother was too young to understand, one day there was a girl in his class and the next she was gone and the whole culture of the school had changed.
I Take It Back. Wow.
Pregnant girl went missing. Her boyfriend friends and family of hers hand out flyers looking for any help finding her. Her boyfriend, who as I mentioned was handing out flyers with her friends and family, confessed to killing her and dumping her body in the garbage.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
Sometimes you just don't have any money and you have to make it work. I learned how to make the most out of bargains at the grocery store and know how to make food that is hearty and will last more than a day or two. Beans and rice are your friends, by the way. You'd be surprised by how many delicious meals you can make with just these two basic ingredients.
Being poor requires you to be creative.
Penny pinching is an art, as we were so deftly reminded after Redditor naranja_cheese asked the online community,
"What is the most penny pinching you've ever done?"
"I used to steal..."
"I used to steal half-used rolls of tp when I was a janitor. Lived off white rice and Worcestershire sauce for months. Got a job as a cook & always saved a few scraps while plating people's food so I would have something to eat without paying for a meal. Also worked at a butcher shop& would take home bones to roast and make a stew with. I can share hundreds of things like this."
"I worked part-time..."
"I worked part-time in school, but was pretty broke. I wasn't being paid until the following day, and I needed soy sauce for my extra super tasty stir fry. I literally had negative funds in my account. So I went to the grocery store, grabbed a sushi tray, threw a ton of packets of soy sauce in my pocket (they don't charge you for these), wandered a bit, pretended I changed my mind, and left."
"While at the grocery store..."
"While at the grocery store, putting back that pack of chicken breast that cost $2.98 for the other pack of chicken breast that cost $2.95."
"Things were insanely tight..."
"Used to make my own laundry detergent during a time when we had relocated and our prior home had not sold so we had rent on top of a mortgage for 18 months. Things were insanely tight in those days, to say the least."
I definitely know what this is like.
"I took some cedar boards..."
"I had no money for Christmas gifts. I only had enough to pay rent. I took some cedar boards in the backyard, cut them, burnt them a little black as I had no money to finish them. Then I passed them off as cutting boards."
"One Friday night..."
"One Friday night in college, my two buddies and I had a grand total of $3 to our names. I bought a box of Mac 'n Cheese, a can(!) of escargot, and three Lil' Debbie Star Crunches. We had a full meal with starch, protein, and dessert."
"I lived on pasta..."
"When I was at university my entire budget was less than £40 a week. I lived on pasta and stolen sauce packets from the Students Union. The cafeteria ladies would always take pity on me at closing time and give me free burgers."
"I lost my job..."
"I lost my job and lived in a $1400/month apartment where electricity (which included heat) and internet were ludicrously expensive. $400-450 a month in the winter because the building was an old mill with huge windows and no insulation. Fortunately, gas and water were free."
"I only turned on my lights when I had to, turned off the heat entirely, and heated my apartment by boiling a huge pot of water on the gas stove 24 hours a day and going to the business center to use the free DSL connection to apply for jobs. I ate rice with frozen vegetables and spices for three months."
"It sucked, but I got by."
Hopefully things are much better now.
"If I ate fast food..."
"If I ate fast food or takeout food, I would ask for extra sauce packets or garnishes that they give out for free. I would stock up on them, use them when I cook instead of buying the stuff from the store. For example, a $1 box of pasta, a clove of garlic, and 2-3 ramekins of parm cheese, half ramekin of chili flakes, and a pinch of Italian herbs I got from a pizza place makes a quick meal."
"My local mall..."
"My local mall used to do paid surveys, you'd watch a video or try some new soda or whatever and they'd give you a couple of dollars. Then I'd use that to buy a meal."
Sometimes you've just gotta do what you've gotta do. It's not easy.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
Now, this isn't going to be a long, "Let's all pile on how bad the internet is and only think about the good ol' days when the rocks were soft and we could only communicate using cans with string."
People old enough to remember life pre-Internet, what are some less obvious things you miss about that time?
Many habits we used to possess were made completely irrelevant thanks to the internet. Not that we didn't enjoy doing them, we just started asking ourselves, "What's the point?"
Completely Devoid Of Technological Interference
"Leaving home and just being gone for the day. No cell phones. If there were cameras, it was really different. You used them to take pictures of things or had people take pictures of you. But there was no social media to preoccupy your mind. It was just doing something. And whoever you were with, was who you were with."
No One Needs 24 Hours Of Nonsense
"News only being on at 6pm. That was it. Now we have 6 hours of local news and 24 hours of cable news. Not being bombarded all day with "news." And when you saw "Breaking News" on the screen you knew something serious went down."
You Mean We Actually Have To Go?
"It used to be a lot harder to bail on things. You'd have to call the person at home and tell them yourself, or at least leave a message if you wanted to be risky. Typically if you were gonna bail you'd give at least 24 hours notice. Nowadays people can let you know they're bailing last second since you're always reachable."
"RSVPing mattered. If you said you were going to be there, you made sure to be there. None of this facebook invites that everyone blows off without any form of social repercussions. If you said you were going to go and didn't go, you were the a--hole and everyone knew it."
You can get almost anything on the internet. Almost. Still no sign of real working Lightsabers anywhere out there, but the internet has eliminated many of our purchasing practices.
Just In Time For The Holidays!
"The Sears catalog. That was how I found out about all the cool new toys."
"Catalogs in general, for me. Before the internet made mindless browsing of stuff you didn't need ~really~ easy to do, we still liked doing this without having to drive to the mall. The solution? Sign your mom up for those cool seed catalogs, those not safe to browse at the office gag gift catalogs and then everything in between. That stuff was really nice to have when you grew up somewhere that was not even cable ready."
1 Good Song Out Of 15
"When you bought new music you just had to hope it was good. The single might be popular but otherwise unless someone had it you just bought it and hoped for the best."
"There was so much excitement to going to a cd store to buy an album that you only knew one song of or the band/artist name and just listening to that entire cd over and over again picking out which tracks were your favorite while still learning every lyric to all the songs on the album.
Building a cd collection was also fun."
Talk About The "Immediate Gratification" Generation, Huh?
"The instant win bottle caps / candy / chocolate bar wrappers where you could turn them back into the store and immediately get a free one. Now it's just codes you have to register on their website so they can get your info, i don't even bother anymore."
Finally, there's these activities, to difficult to explain to anyone who wasn't there. How do you get someone to understand that not having a supercomputer in your pocket at all hours of the day radically changed your life?
Keeping It In Front Of You
"I miss having an attention span of more than three seconds"
"It's so weird. I can only vaguely remember what it feels like to not have a smartphone and to be alone and think.
Wondering what my friends are doing and if they'd like to do something on the weekend. We'd have to talk during lunch break at school and plan it...
Trying to find the answer to a math problem... Having to figure it out by re-reading the problem and explanations 5 times."
There Used To Be A Time When You Couldn't Play Everything
"Not being overwhelmed by choice.
Don't get me wrong, having nearly every form of media downloadable is great, but back in the day, i rented a video game and i played that video game as much as i could.
Now, its hard to give it more than 2 seconds before i try one of the 20,000 games i have access to.
New game plus used to be cool. Now, I'm happy if just beat the game"
Floundering. Just A Little.
"My formative years were the 1980s. I remember like yesterday going to study in Paris my junior year of college. I got off the plane with no cell phone, no internet, a Let's Go Paris book, and just a hostel address written on a piece of paper I'd stuck in a French dictionary. I did not know a single person in all of France.
I had $500 of cash stuck in a money belt. The belt was tight and sweaty but that money had to last me for at least a month until I could find a part-time job with my lousy French. My "credit card" was my father's credit card numbers written down on a piece of paper. He told me I could only use it to buy a plane ticket home in an emergency.
I remember standing in the airport and having this powerful emotion of being 21 years old, scared sh-tless, but in absolutely completely control of my own destiny. There was absolutely nobody who could come rushing to my aid if I needed it. I was 100% on my own.
I'm actually very thankful for that experience. I found the hostel. I found a job. I made friends. I learned French. I made it all on my own which was just a big boost in life confidence.
I have no doubt if I'd had a cell phone I would've called my parents on Day 2, told them it was too hard, and been on the next plane home. But I had no other choice but to succeed."
We can never go back. Not really, anyway. The only way is to keep going forward, be aware of the effect the internet has on us, and do our best to not let it take away the things that really matter in our lives.
Look, unless you enjoy cooking, no one likes spending time in the kitchen longer than they have to in order to whip up something mediocre to eat.
Ordering food or, for the time being, enjoying a socially distanced lunch at an establishment is convenient, but it can take a toll on your wallet.
So what options are there?
Fortunately, there are plenty of them that do not involve nuking a frozen entree.
"What's your go-to under 5 minute meal?"
These dinner selections are super sufficient.
A Loaded Course
"Two hotdogs and a side of judgement from my fiancé"
In Case You Didn't Know
"Quesadilla. super quick and easy to make and there's a ton of ingredients that you can add without much effort that will make it even better."
"Ramen and an egg, but not the traditional way."
- "Boil roughly half an inch of water (we want just enough water to boil the noodles, with very little water left over when it's done boiling)."
- "Smash up the ramen noodles, while still in the package (optional but cooks MUCH faster)."
- "Open the package and remove the seasoning."
- "Dump the noodles in."
- "While boiling, crack an egg and whisk in a small bowl."
- "Noodles should be done and almost all the water should be gone, if not strain out some.
- Remove from the heat."
- "Slowly pour in the egg while mixing very quickly, try not to let the egg touch the pan."
- "Mix as much of the seasoning packet as you like (I prefer 1/2 - 3/4 because I usually add a salty component at the end.)"
- "Add to bowl and top with some chives, thinly sliced, ripped up ham/salami and/or parsley. Leftover bacon or pancetta are fantastic crunchy components to dial up the texture."
"Easy, fast and checks so many of the 'munchie' boxes for me."
Don't Underestimate Soups
"Tomato soup and add tortellini. I like the spinach ones from Trader Joe's and Progreso creamy tomato with basil. It's bomb and it really makes a decent meal."
For people in a rush, these tasty snacks would suffice.
Goes Well With Veggies And Cheese
"Hummus is such an underrated food. It goes well with a lot of veggies and breads and chips or heck even cheese. All the time I hear hummus being listed as one of those weird, gross foods when its actually an amazing snack, or a meal if done correctly. It's not really unhealthy, either, especially if eaten with veggies (celery and carrots go great with hummus)."
Ready In Seconds
"All I do is get a paper towel, and put 5 Oreos on it."
"Then go back and get the whole package."
Peanut Butter Fantasies
"Peanut butter sandwich."
"If I'm feeling extra froggy I'll add nutella to the peanut butter and honey sandwich and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Goes down about as well as a popeye's biscuit though."
"It's like cheating the system. You eat sweets and call it healthy."
Start your day without all the hassle of a fancy breakfast.
Put It In A Bowl
"Oatmeal or cereal."
"Cereal is definitely underrated as a meal outside of the breakfast dynamic."
"A very simple recipe my grandma prepared for me when i was a kid."
"It's basically scrambled eggs...but before adding the egg she would cook sweetcorn (from a can) with a little bit of butter, add the eggs and then when the eggs were almost ready, add small cubes of cheese and cook for a minute or until the cheese start to melt (she was using fontal, but any swiss or white cheddar will do). Just a little black pepper and salt."
"Takes 5 minutes to do but it's absolutely delicious, fill you up, not so unhealthy and I feel my late grandma with me."
'I tried variations with chives or spring onions, paprika or other stuff. Still good but nothing as good as a simple "uova strapazzate con mais e formaggio.'"
I consider yogurt a healthy snack/lunch option.
I like having a bowl of non-fat plain Greek yogurt with raspberries, blueberries, sprinkled with granola and drizzled with honey.
It's packed with nutrients and gives me a nice boost of energy.
Yogurt also makes for a perfect chip dip. I sprinkle some onion soup mix and stir in the mixture. Who knew quick and easy food prep could be so delicious?
We all like to assume that a big old scar has an amazing, hardcore story behind it: maybe a valiant fight or some life threatening-escape.
But despite what Hollywood would have us think, that is so rarely the case.
Usually, some kind of bizarre accident leaves us with the biggest scar of our life. There's no action movie story behind it, just a careful mixture of foolishness and bad luck.
Clearly not put off by some gruesome anecdotes, Redditor fluffybear45 asked:
"People with scars, how did you get them?"
For many, it was the wild antics of childhood that left them slightly maimed. With many years now separating the Redditor from the event, these were pretty hilarious.
Out of Nowhere!
"I was playing on a swing and then my leg got stuck in barbed wire." -- Soviet_God-Emperor
"I feel like we missed a couple steps here, or your local park had some serious issues." -- Henfrid
"Yo that went from 0 to 100 real fast" -- IHaveButt
"2nd grade, defective slip-n-slide." -- AdmiralAkbar1
"I'm pretty sure the general design of the slip'n'slide was defective. Those stakes weren't covered originally, so you had to be straight down the middle of the slide or else....." -- Q-burt
"Could you refer to this incident in a gravely voice while staring into the middle distance, pausing only to shudder and sip your scotch?" -- CaptValentine
That's Why You Need an Axe Yard
"My dad hit me with an axe (bladed side) in the face. Stupid 10 yo me just had to look over his shoulder while he was hammering in herrings for our tent."
Others talked about freak accidents that came not from the stupidity of childhood, but the bad luck of mistakes made as an adult.
Bad Conditions for Practice
"Dad gave me a folding knife for Christmas"
"I read online that you could flick it open with one hand"
"So I practiced it, after my hands were greasy from eating a burger"
Take Your Pick
"Multiple long scars on my back are from falling onto a old soviet steel welcome mat ( i dont know how to describe it in english but its meant to wipe dirt of your shoes with triangle shaped steel beams."
"Medium sized one on my forearm is from a barbed wire fence, another one next to it is from a motorcycle accident and one on the base on my thumb is from a cars hood slipping and cutting me."
One Heck Of a Fall
" 'This one is from a skateboard, this one was a truck accident, and this one was a fire hydrant.' "
" 'Oh really? I bet each one has a very unique story.' "
" 'Not really, I skateboarded off of a truck into a fire hydrant.' "
Last, some people talked about the medical procedures that left them with the big gash. These stories had some ninth grade words and not nearly as much stupidity.
"A rare auto immune disorder called pyoderma gangrenosum twice... Don't google If you don't like gore... I had to have daily wound care and high doses of medical steroids"
"My intestines telescoped on themselves 8" scar on my belly." -- Anom8675309
"I never wanted to see the words 'intestines' and 'telescoped' together. Ouch." -- LadySygerrik
"I was born 2 months premature. I wasn't born with an esophagus so drs. cut my stomach open and used parts of my colon or intestines and created a new one for me. I have a huge scar on my neck and my stomach is one big scar. Also had a stomach feeding tube for quite a bit and heart surgery at 2 days old."
"I love science. I wouldn't have experienced life if it hadn't been for advances in medical science."
So if you've been sitting on an embarrassing backstory for one of your scars, feel free to share. You're hardly alone.