Insects are minions of the devil. They are horrible in any shape, color or form. Run and hide. That is all I have to say. And that I'm prepared with insecticide.
Redditor u/Atomatron16 wanted to know how the bugs in life have left us all scarred by asking..... People of Reddit, whats your insect horror story?
The Itsy Bitsy....
GiphyI was 11ish and sleeping on the top bunk of a bunk bed in a basement. I woke up in the middle of the night with a spider half the size of a dinner plate on the ceiling just inches from my face. As I went to roll over to get out of the bed it dropped onto me and I nearly spontaneously combusted, my roll out of bed turned into a swan dive. I have arachnophobia to this day. spoonsthatbite
Boy Scout camp....
On A Boy Scout camp I broke a weird green sack with a stick. It turned out to be a spider egg, and the spiders went everywhere .The worst part is that nobody believed me and I was forced to sleep in that area. On top of that, we were on a wilderness survival camp so I didn't get a full tent, only a sleeping bag and a cover for the rain. I didn't get any sleep because I couldn't stop thinking about the spiders. Awesomesoldier06
nesting....
Killed probably 60 wasps in my basement the last month. Can't find nest. downtroddennotdead
Not to freak you out but you might want to check your walls. When it starts getting cold they will nest there. zigazigazah
Spit not Swallow...
It was dark, my partner and I were watching a movie. I wanted a snack. I went to the cupboard, grabbed an open packet of lamingtons. I sat back down and proceeded to eat one. My mouth felt kinda spicy, and the little coconut bits seemed to be moving.
I ran to the sink to spit it out while my partner turned the light on. ANTS, I accidentally ate a crap load of ants. BaggiraBaggy
Kill the Babies....
When I was a kid I was playing in one of those play house castles and climbed to the top only to be greeted by momma spider and her hundreds of babies. AustereTuba393
So i took a mattress......
We rented a house in the countryside when i was like 16. My bedroom was in the old basement, made out of rocks and all. It was crawling with scorpions, centipedes and other insects, and i have a phobia.
So i took a mattress, and slept for the 2 weeks in the living room next to the chimney.
However, one night i noticed that there was a buzzing sound coming from the chimney, so i took some insecticide and sprayed inside. Next thing i know, there was a hornets nest in there, and they all left it to fly in the living room as soon as i sprayed it. In the meantime there was a few scorpions in the room too. I spent the night under all my blankets, almost suffocating. Le_french_boi
The Widow....
My younger brother collects all sorts of bugs. One day we found a black widow on our front porch that seemed close to dying. My dad knows I am scared of bugs and for some reason we had the spider in a Tupperware container with the lid on. I have really thick hair and my mom had braided it the night before so it was really curly and poofy. My dad walked into the room with my little brother and threw a Tupperware container at me with the lid off.
I, thinking it had the spider in it, proceed to have my first panic attack. Imagine you have thick, curly hair, and you think there's a friggin' black widow in it. I blacked out but from what my mom told me, I was gasping for breath and heaving for a good few minutes. Turns out, he had throw an empty container at me. They were really apologetic but that feeling of pure terror and fear is something I will never forget. Anxious_Nobody
Covered....
I came home from work, walked in the front door fine, changed into shorts, went to leave the house not five minutes later, it was windy and hundreds of baby spiders were blowing past my front door as I walked out. I got covered in them. Dorkitron
The Cocoon....
When I was a kid, I found 2 cocoons. I put them in a jar and waited. Woke up one morning, covered in hundreds of baby praying mantises.
We were able to suck up most of them with a Dust Devil, empty them outside, and enjoyed watching them grow up outside the house. rafferty85
"Saving this little guy!"
GiphyAt work, in a hole dug out of the ground for a foundation.
Noticed there's about 40 other species stuck in this hole.
Start making ramps for them out of plywood and putting them in the corners of the hole.
Notice large spiders are also in the hole (I live in NJ, these were wolf spiders), probably eating other insects/small amphibians.
Most of the frogs escape after about 3 hours.
After lunch, I go in to make sure everything is alright down there.
I see a little frog stuck in the mud, struggling to get out.
I reach down to pick him us as my boss asks what I'm doing.
Look up at my boss, feel the frog on my hand, reach my hand in the air and say "Saving this little guy!" as I see the look of horror on my bosses' face.
I look at my hand.
There's a wolf spider the size of my palm crawling down my arm as fast as it can, with an eggsack.
Long story short, I scrambled all over the site for the next 10 minutes trying to make sure it was gone.
Never trying to save a frog again. jayswentz
Reddit user _Brunonono_ asked:
"What's something you can't tell your partner for fear of upsetting them?'
No Malice Intended
"The first piece of jewelery I bought my wife was a necklace. We went on holiday and she lost it."
"I said I would replace it but it wasn’t the same, she was upset that she’d lost it for sentimental reasons."
"I emailed the hotel and of course they hadn’t found it. So I bought a replacement and told my wife they found it."
~ EnzokuhleLesedi
"My wife has a beautiful heart."
"I jokingly call her a Disney princess because any animal that she comes across she has to talk to, and greet. She has cried by seeing a dead raccoon on the side of the road before."
"At the time, I was working day shift and she was working a swing shift."
"I had a busy day, but I saw she sent me some pictures of a young doe that was eating in our front yard. She seemed thrilled."
"I came home and saw the same deer!"
Giphy"Dead."
"On my god damned porch."
"I felt like I started to hear 'the first 48' theme playing as I realized I have six hours to get rid of this thing before my wife gets home and her world is shattered.
"I call my local city authorities thinking they wouldn’t want a dead animal in the middle of town. Turns out, they couldn’t care less."
"I called some local raptor shelters to see if they could take a stat donation but it turns out the dead deer business is booming and they didn’t have a need for donations at this time, especially in the next 6 hours."
"Frustrated, I call my dad to vent and get advice on what to do."
"His response is only a 'Hold on bud, I’ll be there in 15 minutes'.”
"I go back inside to take care of the dogs and within the next 15 minutes I see me dad back his huge truck into my back yard, has the tail gait down and is knocking on my door with a pair of nitrile gloves on and another pair in hand for me."
"It was starting to get dark out, but we had that thing loaded up and found a special place to, uh... dispose' of it. We made it back with 20 minutes to spare before my wife got home."
"I haven’t told my wife because I think it would either break her heart, or creep her out at how efficiently my dad can dump a body."
"Anyway, wifey thinks her deer friend is alive and well, and totally not at the bottom of a ravine."
~ EliseoJan
Oops!
"The remote didn't disappear."
"I accidentally put it through the washing machine and destoreyed it and threw it out in a panic."
~ NinaBen63
"It was me who cooked with oil and didn’t clean the spatters off the stovetop… not the cat."
~ Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
"I'm impressed your cat can cook."
~ Antillaa
"Well, nothing fancy, not what you'd call a feast."
~ Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
"Just a meowdest meal then."
~ Grunthos_Flatulent
GiphyBetter Left Unsaid
"That she is wayyy more like her mom and sisters than she likes to think."
~ Famannot34
"Could be worse ... my partner is becoming more and more like MY mother than she would like to think!"
~ DeeDee_Z
"That’s definitely one to keep to yourself."
"Forever."
~ msjammies73
"I hate your mom and I'm a little afraid you're going to turn into her, both physically and personality wise."
"Especially since your dad keeps talking about how you have your mom's whole face and personality from back when they first got together."
~ midnightsonofabitch
Giphy"I would like to go somewhere and be alone for a few weeks."
"I love them so much but I have never been on my own in my life and I would like to try it for a minute."
~ PeacefulWarCat
"I daydream/wonder what it would be like to live completely alone."
"How I wouldn’t have to compromise."
~ TA_MHGal
"Lord. I always thought when I met the right one I wouldn’t mind sharing my space."
"I’m a loner by nature."
~ illustriousocelot_
"I only put spiders outside when she sees them."
"If they're only noticed by me I let them continue hunting bugs, sometimes with a few soft words of encouragement."
"You're doing a great job, little guy."
~ c7hu1hu
Giphy"She is using words incorrectly."
"She has a half dozen she routinely misuses and does not want to hear it. Example: The middle of the road is the median, not the medium."
"Drives me insane."
"Married 20+ years. Some things you let go."
"I even tried repeating it back to her in the conversation properly to avoid the conflict. Still doesn't work."
"What is surprising is she easily reads a couple of books per month and is super bright. She just has words that somehow got stuck in her vocabulary along the way."
~ Caspers_Shadow
Is Manipulation So Bad?
"I wanted my husband to quit wearing denim shorts because they made him look old. He had gained a bit of weight, so I kept buying his jorts in his old size 34 and I bought khaki shorts in a 38."
"He will never read a label for any reason. He would put on the jorts and then lay on the bed and lift and spread his legs to stretch out the shorts a bit."
"He blew out the back seam of two pairs in the same day, then ended up putting on the khaki shorts."
"Since then, almost 20 years, he has insisted that khaki shorts are made better and fit more comfortably than denim shorts of the same size."
~ fire_thorn
Hiding In Plain Sight
"Not me but my parents. If my mom wants to hide literally anything from my dad, no matter what it is, she just puts it somewhere where he would have to bend over to see it."
"Doesn't matter if it's something like a package of oreos, if my dad has to bend over to find it he's never going to find it. I've tested it with my own snacks when I was still living with them to confirm it works.
"He'd be mad if he knew how many snacks we'd hidden from him simply because he doesn't bend over low enough to see it in the cabinet."
~ WonderfulFennels
"This is rather hilarious. Not quite what I was thinking of, but hilarious."
~ OP _Brunonono_
"Headline: Man Starves To Death In Home: Couldn't Find Food at Knee Height"
~ Papancasudani
GiphyMight Be Time To Speak Up
"I am tired in my soul."
"I carry the mental load, do 99% of the domestic chores, do the meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking. I’m the breadwinner and also the one responsible for our finances."
"I’m tired in my heart and soul. You agree when we talk about our future but there’s no execution on your end."
"You see my frustrations and you think it’s postpartum depression but it’s you, not the kiddos. I’ve been doing the therapy and the Zoloft. Why aren’t you?"
~ Beagle_Gal
In almost every case, Redditors' biggest concern was their partner's feelings.
Except for those snacks.
Hopefully they put a few snacks in dad's line of sight.
