
There aren't too many things that would make you go, "Man, I'd rather go to hell than be here right now. Hell has demons, torture, fire, and all the ill-prepared pizza they can shove down my throat." However, if you had to choose between these people's predicaments and hell, you'd probably be ready to have pizza for dinner.
Quora posted to its users:
What was your "I'd choose hell over this." moment?
"It's Just A Simple Procedure..."
"Oh, shut up! You don't feel anything."
Did he just tell me to shut up?!
Panic set in but I forced it down and shut my eyes.
I did the only thing I could do:
I began humming Stevie Nick's Edge of Seventeen as loud as I possibly could. With my mouth open.
"Uphh igh fuh unn een uvvv singg owww sssiinphh oooo aybuh oooo ayyy ooooohhh!!!"
Cracking, loud cracking was all I heard. Lots of pressure. I would open my eyes to see his face near mine, wearing a frustrated grimace through his mask.
I was having all four of my wisdom teeth pulled out at once. There was no dental assistant and I was awake for it. I had Novocain but not any sedatives. Not even nitrous oxide.
You think it would have been a little more of a cushy experience for me given it was 2002. I was 19 and a classic rock fan. Don't let Stevie fool you about the year.
My dentist had been mine since I was four, so that's why I was so shocked he said shut up to me.
At one point he had to pull so hard, he was directly over me with his right knee on my chair, using all of his strength.
In his defense, I do have big horse teeth.
I was driven home by my mother, Hydrocodone prescription in hand.
Four days later, on a Saturday, we had to call the dentist at home because I was in so much pain. Bruises were now visible all over my face, running down my neck. My swelling got so bad, I honestly resembled Mimi from The Drew Carey Show when I tried a new eyeshadow to distract from the bruising (even 2 weeks later).
His response to my mom? "Well, yeah. A root wrapped around her jawbone and I essentially had to break her jaw to get it undone". He called in some more Hydrocodone for me.
Jesus Christ. That would have been good to know sooner.
I have given birth twice. I have had an episiotomy and stitches from tearing. SO MUCH BETTER THAN WHATEVER THE HELL THIS WAS, LET ME TELL YOU! The drugs for pregnancy are wayyyy better, especially when you are given an OPTION TO HAVE SOME!
I didn't go back to this dentist.
Now when I go to the dentist, I gladly accept pill sedatives for any procedures. As you can imagine, I am a little flinchy now.
Unwanted At A Party
So, it was my elder sister's birthday . I was really excited to see her and my niece and nephew. But as soon as I walk in, it's silent.
...My sister says hi, and so does my niece and nephew. Some of my aunts and cousins say hi. But most of my family just stared at me as if I were ugly and whispered about me (I haven't met them in a year or two). I was thinking maybe it's because I got taller or maybe my hair changed or the way I dressed. I went to my other cousins, tried to say hi, but they walked away(they acted like there was an emergency or that they couldn't hear me.)
I go outside, tejano music was being played, people were laughing and barbecue cooking. Some of my cousins came up to me to say hi. I went to where all my other cousins were but they ran away like I'm a monster or a nuisance. So I'm chilling by myself and eating. My aunt says "OK everyone time to say happy birthday". So I go there and my cousin bumps me so I bump him a little bit, but he bumps me back so then I just nudged him. He walks away with his chest up and with a disgusted face.
We ate cake and one of my aunts completely skipped me on purpose even though I was right infront of her. I said "uh you skipped me" but she doesn't say anything and gave me my share of cake. I finished eating, and I'm like "I gotta get out of this place like ASAP". So I tell my sister "I think I'll be heading out, I'm kind of tired since I didn't get any sleep (I lied I slept like a kitten the night before). She said "OK bye bro I love you". I said "I love you too" and I walked out and I was gone.
That was one of the worst 1 hour and 30 minutes of my life!
Hey, Maybe Let's Not Put The Finger Under The Skin?
The time when I had cut my leg open on my third day moving to Panama, in the hotel...
Anyway, fast forward past the events and the horrendous waiting time. Eventually, I was passed through. I was put under the knife, with local anesthesia. The doctor (let's call him F to preserve his identity and allow him some anonymity) told me to quit moving, even holding my badly injured leg in place to inject the anesthesia. Let me just say that the worst part (even worse than the injury itself) is the pain caused by the anesthesia. It felt like I was having corrosive acid poured over my open, profound wound.
My parents told me that I yelled so loud that the people walking on the street probably could've heard my wails of agony. My excruciating pain was, quite frankly, amplified as the doctor informed me that the injection itself did not cover the wound with anesthetic, so he decided to put another, for good measure.
At this point, I would've rather had the stitches without the anesthesia. Suddenly, without warning, F injected me with the other one, and the second wave of pain unexpectedly rolled in, and boy it was quite the tsunami! I instinctively yelled, clenching my teeth and tongue as I attempted to withstand this intense pain. Finally, it was over.
Then, F said that he wanted to show the extent of the wound to my interested parents, who were unfazed by my pleas of help.
With his plain blue rubber gloves, F stuck his index finger into the wound, like a spelunker going through a thin crevice. I thought that F's finger wouldn't go very far, but I became physically sick after F's finger slid in and kept going, like a train slowly disappearing into an endless tunnel. Finally, F stopped moving his finger, and I looked in horror as my deep wound swallowed F's finger whole. My mom yelped, "OH MY GOD! HIS WOUND'S THAT DEEP, DOCTOR?" (Note that she said this in Spanish; I saved you the pain of translating it ;)). My father left the room, probably from disgust or anxiety, or maybe both.
Then, the doctor smiled and said, "That's quite the wound. We'll have to stitch it from the inside as well."
That's exactly when I would've chosen hell...
The Trip That Never Ends
This had been a long-awaited trip.
The trip was to Central America. I'd wanted to just stay in a resort. Camp out. Relax. Do a couple of day excursions.
A balance of relaxing and exploring.
She wanted the opposite, to rent a car and travel throughout the country, and stay at 3–4 different hotels.
In the months leading up to the trip, we had so many disagreements on the vacation that my head about spun. I should have known.
But we locked it in. We managed to agree on the vacation.
The trip finally arrives.
The night before the trip she got called into work, a medical job she can't say no to. She works from 9 PM until our 8 AM flight.
I arrive at the airport. She meets me there, looking like the walking dead.
When I show up, I have all of my stuff. But when I go to get my driver's license it isn't in my wallet. I'd managed to leave it at home.
This leads to my own stressed out dig through all my bags to find my ID. Before surrendering.
This wouldn't prevent us from traveling. I had a passport. But I'd rented a car in my name. We just get on the plane. I sit. A bit rattled and concerned about the car rental.
She sleeps, head down, face planted into her airplane tray, like a tranquilized animal.
The trip was off to a rocky start.
My (then)-GF and I had been getting along OK up until this trip. But things had definitely been trending downwards.
We get there. I'm in good spirits. She's still wiped out. Unfortunately, she has to drive because I don't have my license.
We are driving on rocky 3rd world roads. It's a 2-hour drive to the resort. She has to drive because my dumbass forgot my license.
She's absolutely miserable. Too tired to be driving on these challenging roads.
Her attitude is rubbing off and wearing on me. I'm trying to stay in good spirits.
I get tired of the sulking. I tell her to pull over. I drive. If I get a ticket, I get a ticket.
Also - it is hot. Beyond hot. We aren't unfamiliar with the heat, being from Florida. But it's equatorial heat. Pressing. You can't even breathe.
She's tired. She's cranky. I'm annoyed, perhaps selfishly, about her attitude. I want her to try and cheer up.
Any issues we'd had in the months leading up to this are only boiling under the surface.
The logistics of this trip are not going to improve our stress levels.
Part of this is my fault - I should have pushed back on this plan. It was way too ambitious. I knew this type of travel was going to make me miserable too. It was too much packing and unpacking and relocating. Too much driving on roads in another country that we weren't familiar with.
We get to the nice hotel, the one I wanted to stay at for the entire trip. But got negotiated down to 2 nights in. The power is cutting in and out. There are bugs. It's still hotter than Satan's bedroom.
At some point, she and I got into an argument. I was annoyed with her attitude and complaining, which was making everything worse.
We go on a rented boat the next day. I'm having fun. She's miserable. Perhaps it's my fault. I don't know. I tried though.
2 nights later, we have to pack all of our stuff and get in the rented car and drive through several more hours of rocky winding roads. Much of it spent in silence.
At the next hotel, we get into another fight. An ugly one. She's annoyed with me. I'm annoyed with her.
Drive to the 3rd hotel. Silence.
We have a THIRD ugly fight at this hotel.
This trip was an abject disaster. Midway through that trip, I remember thinking to myself literally that I felt like I was in hell at that moment. I just wanted to get on a plane and go home.
The cities we were traveling through were extremely worn down 3rd world areas, but they still were in better shape than my relationship.
Many years ago, there was a gold rush in California. Miners often found gold, their path to wealth and never having to work again.
Their ecstatic cries of joy often came crashing down with the realization that they'd found Fools Gold.
They came up with a trick.
If the miner found what looked like gold, he would take a rag, put a few drops of nitric acid on it. Then he'd rub it on the prospect he'd found.
If the nitric acid caused the gold mark to disappear, he knew it wasn't real gold. If the gold remained after the application, he knew he had a reason to celebrate.
It's called the Acid Test.
Traveling is a pretty effective acid test for relationships. You'll quickly find how if it's real.
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Teachers have heard every excuse in the book from students who were trying to pull a fast one. We all know the classics: 'dog ate my homework,' 'my car burst...Take It To The Solo!
Twas' back in the day when I was 15 and had just started getting into guitar.
I had just gotten semi good at playing drums, and picked up guitar a month prior. I was good enough at drums that a friend of mine named John (not real name) decided we should perform songs together.
We did quite a few rehearsals, and we seemed like the perfect duo. A guy heard we played and asked us to play at a party, so we accepted.
Later on, we arrived at his party and got set up in the living room. I was on the drums and John was on the guitar. We had arranged to play 5 cover songs and then we'd leave.
We got set up and John took the microphone, everything seemed to be going smoothly. We played our first song, which was a cover of Dysentary Gary. The song actually went pretty well, and we were surprised how good we sounded…
Then we got to our second song
We played a cover of Heart Shaped Box, and John decided to voice crack into the microphone on the "HEY" part.
The whole song went down from there.
His guitar playing was off, his singing was off, it was basically just me playing drums and him attempting to play guitar. He just stopped playing because of how badly he was messing up.
"I'd choose hell over this" does not even account for the embarrassment us two felt.
Attempting to recover the mess up, I stood up and yelled out to the crowd.
"John can't sing!" I yelled out to the crowd, and then proceeded to go into a drum solo I made up on the spot.
After my two minute drum solo, everyone at the party applauded at me. I had just single-handedly saved the gig with a killer drum solo. John finally stopped sh-tting himself and we played the rest of our songs, which all went well.
We continued to perform gigs from then on, and now we can perform full on concerts with each other without any mess-ups (for the most part).
So if I had to give a lesson to all you 13 year old's out there who have an out of tune ukulele and want to start a band, remember to learn your instrument and remember to recover if you f-ck up
Living With People Who Hate You
"Yeah they told me to not let you in their room. Said to keep an eye on you so you wouldn't steal their jewelry."
What? I stared at my brother who simply shrugged.
The place: My parents' home
The time: A year ago
When I was nineteen I was living with my parents and working as a waiter. It wasn't ideal but I was just content to have a roof over my head and WiFi. My parents had gone out of state to visit some in-laws, taking my sister and leaving me with my oldest brother. We were kicking it off pretty well, like any pair of brothers. About two nights in we were taking advantage of no one being around to complain about our overbearing mother. That's when my brother let that front page blurb drop.
It was as if lightning had struck my brain.
I quickly ran some analysis. I was paying $800 a month to live with my parents (I typically made $1400). I wasn't allowed out of the house unsupervised except for work. This had been an area of some serious contention. In fact I was often forced into going to religious services that I honestly couldn't care less about. There was rarely enough food in the house. When I came home tired and hungry from twelve hour shifts all I could find were cans of chili and peanut butter, stuff that had been sitting in the cupboard for months. Everything else had a huge forbidden label on it and if you touched it you were to expect fire and brimstone.
To this day I can't touch chili without nausea and I can only just tolerate peanut butter. Add onto this that I had to request permission to buy a video game console from my mom. She said no and that was that. She closely monitored my spending and withheld my debit card. Before she left she was in the process of coercing me to going to college. I was hellbent on going into law enforcement but she wanted me to become some sort of secretary. Guess who was going to win that argument. Then my mom was a whole factor of her own. She regularly banged on my door at 6 or 7 am when I wasn't working, insisting I be in bed by 10 pm. Now her paranoia led her to locking up valuables while she was away. I knew the location of the spare key. I could've cleaned her out months earlier.
I thought long and hard. I was nineteen, meaning I was just starting my life. This could not be all there was to life. I compared myself to James Bond. Did I drive super cool cars? Heck no, I couldn't have told you where the gas and brake pedals were. Was I picking up bikini clad blondes like a carpet picks up dust bunnies? Heck no, I was still crying over a girl I had known in high school. Did I know parkour\hand to hand combat\how to shoot a gun? Nope, wasn't even close to learning either.
It came over me. I had to get the f out of here. Fast. I was looking at another five or more years living with people who had beaten me up as a kid, going down a career I didn't want, my job and money under their access.
I had to ask myself some hard questions. Was I willing to lose pretty much everything I owned, be stripped down to a backpack? Was I willing to sleep on a park bench and hide from police? Was I willing to go hungry on a regular basis? I found myself answering yes to all of the above.
"I'm getting the f out of here." I told my brother. And I did. Within the month.
One year later, I'm happy to say things have definitely improved. I have my own place with roommates. I work two jobs I like, heading towards a law enforcement career. I control all my money. I submitted a novella to a publisher and am supposed to hear back from them in a week. It's in the last stages of review and I'm fairly optimistic. I've gone through some tough times in this last year but I'm happy to say that even at my worst moments I was never tempted to return. I've never regretted the day I walked out of my parents house, never to return.
When The Anesthesia Wears Off...
My boyfriend had lung surgery for a spontaneous pnuemothorax and 3 weeks into his recovery, it happened again. I got a text saying "I'm headed to the hospital, it's bad this time." and I hightailed it to the ER. Upon arrival, he was already being checked out by the doctors and they had determined that yes, his lung did collapse again.
The typical procedure consists of a chest xray, putting a chest tube in between the ribs, and then waiting for the air to get out of his chest. As they were putting the tube in, the mild anesthesia wore off (I'm assuming because his tolerance had built up since we just did this 3 weeks ago) and so I could hear him screaming as they put this 1 inch tube through his ribs to re-inflate his lung. That sound will never leave my mind. I wished I could "choose hell" then.
The surgeon was called and they said he needed to have surgery, and they got him in the day of. The surgery consisted of the surgeon going in, checking the lung to see why it collapsed, fix it, and then put another tube in for drainage. She called to tell me surgery was over, he was in recovery, and she couldn't give me any definitive answer as to why this happened again, especially so quickly. I wished I could have "chosen hell" over having to get to explain that to him.
3 hours later when we get into his room in the Heart & Vascular Tower, he's sleeping from anesthesia still, and he wakes up. I will never forget the sounds of pain that were coming from him. As the nurse came in, he asked for pain medicine, and she told him no because he was on a pain pump that allowed him to have a little bit of meds every 10 minutes. That didn't go over well, naturally. He's 5′10 and thin, and he now has a tube coming out of his side for the 4th time in 3 weeks - he wasn't even fully healed from the first time.
I went out in the hallway to explain this to her, and she was like " I don't know if he just wants pain pills, but we can't stack narcotics and so he's just going to have to deal with it. " At that point, I got angry - I explained to her in a stern tone that he had just been through a SECOND lung surgery, and he needed something for breakthrough, and that if she didn't call the doctor to ask about it, that I would. Give me a break - I understand there is an opioid crisis going on right now, but if he was just here for pain meds, we wouldn't have caused a collapsed lung.
Once the doc finally approved breakthrough meds, all seemed to be going well - until it wasn't. It started to get hot in the room, the A/C was out in the hospital and they told us it would be an hour until it was fixed. Mind you, we live in Louisiana and it is JUNE. The heat index that day was 106. Every hour on the hour from 8am until noon, we asked about the AC and what they were going to do. Once it hit 85 degrees, they FINALLY decided they were going to move us to the other side of the hospital.
Comedy is in a very tricky place right now.
There is so much to NOT laugh about in this world.
In truth, many of us have forgotten how to laugh.
And certain jokes that are told, make people afraid to laugh.
So what do we do?
We tell inappropriate jokes apparently.
Let's hear some...
Redditor CrewCreation wanted to hear some "risky" comedy. So they asked:
"What’s the best morbid joke you know?"
***WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!***
I can't think of anything hilarious at the moment. Make us LOL.
Lady
"I have this friend, love him to bits, but his wife has a tendency of just constantly showing everyone pictures of their son at every social event. At the start it was understandable, but now I'm just like 'Lady, it's been two years; they're not going to find him.'"
UnoriginalUse
at 9am...
"Not the most morbid but I love Anthony Jeselnik’s story about his neighbor who has Alzheimer’s. 'One of my next door neighbors is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. And every single morning at 9am he knocks on my door and asks me if I have seen his wife.'"
"'Which means that every single morning at 9am I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now I’ve thought about moving. I have thought about just not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it… just to see the smile on his face.”
dreagan021
Comedy?
"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."
GW2RNGR
"Why can't orphans play tennis? They get confused when they hear love."
JayDub506
People who make comedy are evil. LOL.
The Darkness
"Dark humor is like food; not everyone gets it."
storm_the_castle
God Laughs?
"A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven, where she meets God. To break the tension she tells God a joke about the Holocaust, but God doesn’t laugh. The lady shrugs and says 'I guess you had to be there.'"
“'I guess you had to be there' is a common expression used when someone doesn’t laugh at a joke. It means that the comedy may not translate without the context of the situation."
"In this case the Holocaust survivor is saying it, meaning that during the Holocaust God was nowhere to be found. It’s not really a joke about the Holocaust, but the absurdity of belief in a benevolent God. Hilarious right?"
semimillennial
Oh Baby
"How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? More than 3 cause my garage is still dark."
sirnibs3
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Because I don't know what it says about us as people if we laugh. Oye.
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Life can change in an instant.
It can always change for the better.
Just ask any lottery winner.
Sadly, life can also take a turn for the worst and leave people shattered beyond repair.
Watching someone's life fall apart in a short amount of time is difficult.
You have to wonder if there really is such a thing as karma, bad luck, or Voodoo.
Redditor OkImagination5852 wanted to hear about the times we've been witness to personal disaster. They asked:
"People who witness a person's life crumble in a single day, what happened?"
I have lived through a lot of bad days. But thankfully they've been one disaster at a time days. So I guess I'm lucky.
Horror
"A friend of a friend had his entire family killed overnight. He was from my college and was home visiting his family. His parents, siblings, and extended family were all there together. One night, while they were all asleep, his father got up, took out a gun, and went on a shooting spree. He then killed himself."
"Everyone except this guy died on the spot. When my friend visited him at the hospital, the guy was still in shock. He had no idea why his father did that. This was more than a decade ago, and I have no idea how he's doing now."
DeadOnDeparture98
The IRS Called
"Knew a guy who had a nice house, wife, 3 kids. Machine shop in his garage, Snap On tool truck, sign out front, great mechanic. Never incorporated, didn't pay taxes on his business, cash only. Took nice vacations, bought a boat, then a camper. Five years later, the IRS came. I don't know what they estimated he owed but they seized everything. He lives alone in a trailer now."
Nobody_Wins_13
2 at Once
"My mom’s dad and dad’s mom both died on the same day. Completely unrelated. We were pretty messed up for awhile. It was 2010. Mom's dad had emphysema (lifetime smoker) and was pretty sick for a few weeks. I was in college at the time and came home to be with him, because we knew he was about to pass. Dad's mom was in the nursing home, as she had had a stroke and also had dementia (she often thought I was my dad, she thought we were in the 70s, etc.)."
"She took a turn for the worst, and so my dad left the hospice my grandpa was at and went to be with her. The towns they were in were about an hour apart, so I stayed behind with my mom to comfort her when her dad passed. A few hours go by, and he passes peacefully (huge thanks to the hospice workers for their respect and grace during this time)."
"Within an hour or so of his passing, we get a call from my dad saying that his mother had passed as well. It was a terribly dark day in our family, and the next couple years for me in college were pretty much a blur. Thankfully, things got better in time and we are all doing well now."
She lost everything...
"Her husband left her after previously persuading her to remortgage their house to save his business and he's already made her take multiple credit cards out in her name. She lost everything. He did it the week after their youngest turned 18 so he wouldn't have to pay child support. He'd obviously been planning for years."
Ieatclowns
a black sheep...
"My cousin was in a motorcycle accident with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend died. She broke her back. When she was in the hospital she learned she was pregnant. It's been 16 years and we're still trying our best, she took an all too familiar path of drugs, burning bridges and more pregnancies."
"At this point she's fairly stable and clean as far as I know but a bit of a black sheep. Her mother has custody of all one of her kids. She has her youngest and seems to be doing good by her, but who knows. It's been hard on everyone, especially her mother and her brother."
Paradigm6790
Well this is the stuff of nightmares. I'm grateful for every moment I have alive.
Several lawsuits are filed...
"Here is multiple lives ruined in an instant. A friend was over at some other people house, drugs were involved. They had been playing with a gun. My friend points the gun at a girl, pulls the trigger and shoots her in the head. Girl dies, friend gets locked up until he turns 18. Parents at the house get arrested because they knew what the kids were doing. Friends mom goes into a depression and ends up getting evicted from her house. Several lawsuits are filed."
sentondan
Gone Forever
"It was me... got in a car accident and suffered a traumatic spinal and brain injury that I had no chance of surviving... a 7 vertebrae spinal fusion, yrs of physical and mental therapy... 18 yrs later and the pieces, though many forever gone, are finally coming back together."
2boneskuLL
A Bad Night
"He trashed his fathers vacation house with an axe before setting it on fire, stabbed the neighbor nearly to death, stole their car and then crashed it into a cop car so bad the cops were injured. He also got his girl pregnant, so once he is out of prison they're gonna start a family."
Dumbing_It_Down
"dangerous"
"Pregnant friend found out husband (43) was having an affair with young woman (19) who was a volunteer at their ecolodge. Friend had 'dangerous' pregnancy and had to spend a lot of time in bed. This betrayal destroyed their marriage, split the little town where they lived and caused two employees to quit because witnessing the affair going on was just too painful."
"She had a beautiful baby girl (to go with her other two girls, lol) and after the breakup was clinically depressed. Worked hard and got a divorce (she had a great lawyer); got the business back on track; beat her depression and now is planning a great vacation trip with her girls."
"Meantime, Dad has generous visitation but just 'hasn't gotten around to' buying a car seat so he can pick up the baby and for a long time asked my friend, 'Can you drop the girls off at my Mom's?'"
NoBSforGma
Lost it All...
"Recently, I know of a guy that had borrowed all his family’s life savings for the most part to participate in the whole game stop stock thing happening… he lost every penny of his money (credit card advances), and his parents retirement, and every other dime he could get… it makes me sick to even think of it."
Bangbangsmashsmash
Well those are A LOT of bad days. Good luck to all of you.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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Those who are wealthy have the luxury of acquiring the best of the best–whether it's dinner at a Michelin-starred restaurant or status-identifying clothing from Chanel or Yves Saint Laurent.
But even the rich have their limits when it comes to frivolous spending before casting judgment on friends or colleagues.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Sasquatchfl asked:
"Rich people of Reddit, what's the craziest/most unethical thing you've seen people in your circle spend money on?"
Expensive experiences were a priority over prized possessions.
Live Sushi
"An ex worked for Dell in the late 90s/early 2000s. He was pretty high up and there were lots of partiers in his work circle. Went to a party hosted by one of the dellionaires and there was a body sushi girl. I don’t know what was paid to her, but it was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen."
– 5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor
Pissing Contest
"Paid a group of homeless guys to only use the bathroom on a competitors business. Eventually bought that place for a massive discount."
– Haboobalub
Let's Work Out
"My mother woke up one morning and said she felt she was way too fat and she wanted to get a treadmill. The treadmill wouldn’t be a problem, but then she saw where it would be and didn’t like the lighting. Fast forward 2 months later there’s a 40k outdoor gym built and connected to the house. She hasn’t used it once."
– Herrera5449_
Taking A Leap
"Travelled with a bunch of ex 'friends' all fairly wealthy."
"First trip to SE Asia together and as an ex-local I was a de-facto tour guide (despite not being there in over a decade)"
"They somehow found and offered a bunch of kids diving off cliffs to jump for spare change."
"They increasingly challenged each other to land their coins as close to the cliff base and small surrounding rocks for the kids to dive for."
– Satakans
It's about the finer things in life.
Expensive Party Gag
"A 3k ouija board from Gwen Paltrow's store. I didn't even know it was a thing until the dude brought it out. I really wanted to cut it up and see what it was made from. Looked nice don't get me wrong but the thing is basically a party gag. For 3 grand, it better summon a demon that's all I'm saying."
– con_this
Slow Burn
"$600 USD for a candle."
– Jeffranks
It's not always about the things you acquire.
Minor Inconvenience
"I know a guy who went to get a new drivers license and had to pay ~$100k in back parking tickets, then joked about it after."
"Apparently he couldn't get a permit to park in front of his house, so he just did anyway, and accepted like a $200 fine everyday."
– melodyze
For A Successful Election
"Not me, but I know a guy who crowd funded (read: threw a bunch of money into, then solicited more at a flea market) $80,000 toward his friend's DA election campaign. The guy won. So far, this has paid back at least $120K in avoided legal fees. I know some rich people. Most of them are more boring than you think. Hell, most of them drive Hondas, Toyotas, and Nissans."
– KP_Wrath
The Lance Corporal
"I was stationed with a Lance Corporal who was wealthy beyond means after selling some of his patents. He owned and piloted four helicopters. Lived in a palatial waterfront house in Jacksonville, NC."
"The cheapest one cost 400K. That's the one he trained on. The most expensive was about 1.2 million. That's 1.2 million 1981 dollars. The two he's got now are about 5 million each."
"Had a floating landing pad out back moored to his dock and another landing pad in the back yard. Kept two helicopters and a Rolls inside his custom-built hangar at Norfolk International Airport."
"He drove a pair of Rolls-Royces. He also toyed with a 900K Miami-Vice type speedboat. He also housed and transported his squad to Camp Lejeune and back in a custom mini-bus."
– ApplicationConnect55
The dude was very giving and lived a very clean life. He'd fly us to Norfolk, pickup the car and we'd do our shopping and eating. Hop in a chopper and return home. He'd fly his fire team down to Miami on weekends. He kept a Limo there and wore a chauffer's outfit and did all the driving.
He bought a full-service and licensed pub in Northern Ireland. He lives there with his wife. Does a lot of charity work there. We still keep in touch."
– ApplicationConnect55
When there's plenty of money going around, there's no need to worry about a single thing.
That peace of mind is a luxury in itself.
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When marriages or relationships fall apart, infidelity is not always the cause.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Liam_Tang asked:
"People who've divorced, aside from adultery, what were the irreconcilable differences that ended the marriage?"

You think you know a person when you walk down the aisle.
These Redditors were in for a rude awakening.
Pet Neglect
"My wife divorced her ex for many reasons, but the final straw was when she went out of town for a few days, and when she got back he had not fed or given water to the dog. The dog lived a long and happy life after that."
– StrangeCrimes
Obsessed With A Crush
"Not me, but I had an old coworker that divorced his wife for spending their entire savings on candy crush and games of the same type."
– Hexis40
Compatibility Musts
"ITT: Intimacy (sex/romance), beliefs (religion/spirituality/politics), kids, and I haven’t seen it yet but it’s coming: finances."
"The big four. You REALLY need to discuss these things in detail BEFORE getting married."
– rabbiskittles
Physical violence is a legit reason for people to peace out of a relationship.
The Flattening
"She threatened to hit me with a hammer."
– michaelrohansmith
Hitting The Bottle
"She became an abusive alcoholic. It was sad but I had to get out."
– diegojones4
Emotional pain is too damaging to recover from.
Truth Hurts
"She told me as we stood in front of the judge ending our 7 year marriage, 'I never loved you, I just wanted kids.'"
– Pinch_Dogs
Can't Fix Angry
"She was beautiful/smart but an angry angry person. I thought I could be sweet to her and 'fix' that. Heh. She kicked the crap out of me emotionally. Wife II has been a walk in the roses for 32 years now :)"
– lowlandr
A change of heart is worthless if comes too late.
"We Could've Had A Nice Marriage
"He could not understand that my wants and needs were as important as his wants and needs. We tried to make it work for 7 years. During that time, for things that were really important to me, I tried explaining logically, asking nicely, begging, crying, yelling, passive aggressiveness... cycled back through all of these options multiple times."
"(If I knew something was important to him, I would do that. For example, he was really into sports, so I went to all his events, even though that is not at all my thing.) When I finally threw up my hands and told him it was time to get a divorce, he suddenly panicked and said 'What can I do? Do you want me to do half the chores? I'll do it! Do you want me to get a job? I'll do it! Do you want me to buy you presents for your birthday? I'll do it!'"
"So, in other words, he could have been doing that all along, but just couldn't be bothered. That made me so angry. We could have had a nice marriage that we both enjoyed, but no, by the time he saw the light, that ship had sailed."
"We are both happily remarried now (to different people) and I joke that his new wife owes me a thank you note. It was his experience with me that taught him to listen to her and take her needs seriously."
– Bluebird-True
"What Can I Do?"
"My ex was exactly like this. I didn't marry him but when I told him let's break up, he went all like, what can I do? Let's get engaged, let's look at houses, etc. Basically all the pre-marriage topics that we should be discussing about after being together for 7 years."
"I got so angry and straight up told him it's too late... I don't need you anymore."
– gudetarako
As much as a couple wants to stay together, unforeseen circumstances can eventually tear people apart.
Very few people can maintain healthy long-distance relationships.
When a new job opportunity takes a significant other away, would you begrudge them for wanting a better position to earn more money? Or is it better for them to reluctantly turn down the opportunity so they could stay with you? Do either scenarios breed resentment?
These were questions I've often asked myself with past relationships, and my answers varied depending on the person I was with.
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