Growing up is hard, but so is still feeling like you're in the dark about things you should already know as an adult.
Here's a secret: We're all just trying to get by. I used to marvel at the adults around me and wonder how they managed to figure it all out. They actually never did! Shocking!
Today's burning question comes from Redditor TotallyNotAPlant, who asked the online community: "As children, we were often told "you'll understand when you're older." What's something that, even now that you're older, you still don't understand?"
There's a lot, okay? A lot.
"Why I was told..."
Why I was told I had to remain loyal to my family. They aren't good for me and I'm not good when I'm enabling them soooo... why?
"I questioned it."
Physical discipline. I was "spanked" a lot growing up, and I never understood it. I wasn't allowed to hit anyone, adults weren't allowed to hit other adults, but somehow it's okay for adults to hit kids?
I questioned it. Which earned me another spanking and a firm "you'll understand when you have kids."
And I gotta tell you, two kids later I'm still stumped. I've never hit them and they're amazing kids. Yes, I taught them right from wrong, and discipline them when necessary. It's an ongoing process when they're kids. I firmly believe our parents were looking for a fast out. "If we hit them they'll never do anything we don't like again." Which is inherently wrong. I did plenty. I just made damn sure I didn't get caught.
"Why swear words are 'bad'..."
Why swear words are "bad," even though they mean the same thing as their non vulgar counterparts. For example, if I'm not allowed to say sh!t, why can I say crap, feces, and poop?
"Why I wasn't allowed..."
Why I wasn't allowed to do things my brother did just because I was a girl.
"Yelling..."
Yelling at your loved ones when you're mad or upset or just having a bad day. It's not that I don't get upset with people; I just don't get the urge to do that. I'll never understand why my parents would yell at me for things like literal spilt milk.
"Why do we..."
Why do we treat children and teens like they are undeserving of equal respect and honesty as adults?
"Where other people..."
Where other people get their money from.
I honestly have no idea how other humans "do it."
I'm always broke.
"Investing."
Investing.
Everyone just throws that word around and nods. How they hell do I even get started on that sh!t?
"Oh talk to a broker or consultant at your bank, they'll take care of it for you."
No, they ask me questions like, "How much risk are you comfortable with?" which I have no idea how to answer. None? I'd rather have no risk - is that right? Oh i need a little? OK, then lets do risk. I don't know how much - what does everyone else do?
"Do you want GICs, mutuals, [other terms I conceptually understand by have no degree of knowledge that lets me make a decision]?" Sure? Yes? Do we do them all a little bit? Should I just say thing like, "The Chinese Tech sector is gonna blow up, bro. I want an international fund that focuses on that with 2 year terms" and hope that makes sense?
I have no idea how anyone makes and informed decisions on investing, I think everyone is just pretending they know what their talking about and hoping for the best.
I'm 34 and still trying to understand this sh*t.
"I remember being made to apologize..."
I remember being made to apologize when I didn't know what I was apologizing for or didn't understand an apology meant/should mean. Now I over apologize (especially at work) because the words don't mean anything to me but they seem to make other people more at ease.
"I don't get why..."
I don't get why crying about something meant automatic guilt.
Seriously, as someone that grew up with anxiety and PTSD, why in god's name would me crying be an admission of guilt? After all, it's terrifying when someone a foot taller than you and twice your weight has an angry look on their face.
"Why some shows..."
Giphy
Why some shows are just for kids?
Now that I am older I especially love the shows more geared towards kids. There is no designed drama or some confusing pull-at-the-heart topics. They are usually easy and wholesome and just go for humor.
I love the kids shows now more than I did as a kid maybe because I can appreciate them now.
"Why are we taught..."
Why are we taught to "don't hate the player, hate the game", when the players perpetuate the game, and no one wants to do anything to permanently improve it.
"How people mistake passion for love."
How people mistake passion for love.
If you hate someone who has different needs and goals than you, who makes you a worse person when you're around them, who isolates you from people who are good in your life--why the hell do you think you can't live without them?
Passion means you feel stronger around someone. Passion means you can't live without someone because they make you better, drive you to be the best version of yourself. Passion means you care enough to fight, not that fighting is the default setting.
It drives me insane to see friends stuck in this. It doesn't just apply to romance, either. I've got friends in friendships that they think are meaningful because "they've been through so much together", when in reality the only thing they've been through is the toxicity they create in each other.
I don't get it. When I was a kid I asked questions and everyone told me it was because I'd never been in love. Now I'm 28, and I've been in love, and I've felt passion turn toxic. I don't mean abusive partners--I've had those too, and they play mind games, I completely understand why people stay in abusive relationships.
But ones that are just plain toxic? Bad friendships? Romances that just don't work? I don't get it. I've never felt better than after getting rid of someone in my life who's terrible for me.
"Why rock music was evil."
Why rock music was evil.
My dad was convinced of it. Ordered me to get rid of my vinyl album of "Tommy" by The Who. So I did. Then promptly went out and bought another copy and hid it from him and listened to it anyway.
Now my daughters love The Who, Queen, David Bowie, etc.
One thing I learned: If you forbid your kid from doing something, they'll just do it behind your back. A valuable lesson learned that caused me to parent my daughters much differently from the way I was parented.
I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...
Black Friday Nbc GIF by SuperstoreGiphy"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
Reading_Rainboner
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
Small_Tax_9432
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
iidosee
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
mymymissmai
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
richard-king
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
statiiic
WTF?!?!
"How affordable everything was!"
Disastrous_Hour_6776
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
SnowyInuk
Sushi
sushi GIFGiphy"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
InannasPocket
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTY
Janet Jackson Reaction GIFGiphy"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
DmitriPetrov*itch
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
sketchysketchist
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
__--__7
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
tyreka13
Homeward Bound
"House prices."
adrianinked
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
Osdab2daf
"That didn’t happen because of the pandemic. That was already happening regardless."
CH11DW
Oh Mickey
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
hutch2522
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Freyas_Follower
Way back when...
Season 5 Friends Tv Show GIF by FriendsGiphy"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
LoocsinatasYT
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
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I'm waffling between G-O-D and nothing. So please give me some education.
911
Role Playing Reaction GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy"We need to look out for each other because help isn't coming."
cknipe
Peace Out
"More than 2 decades ago, a priest was giving a sermon in my church and he said 'our faith requires you to believe without question. Why call it faith if you have to ask questions?' I haven't returned to church. Not until my wedding day but you know what I mean."
asiangontear
Delusion
"When I was young I used to think that after death you would have access to a PC that you could see absolutely anything about your life. Stats, any question you had no matter how obscure, replays of moments, perspectives of others in relation to you. No matter what you wanted to know, if it was relatable to you, you could see it. I know it's silly, but as time goes on I just want it to be real, and I don't think I'd have any issue allowing myself to fall into that delusion."
eggwardpenisglands
I think nothing happens...
"Realistically, I think nothing happens. We literally experience nothing after death. Same thing that we experience before birth. We don't exist, so it's nothing. I think the tenant that we should follow while living is to try to be happy and healthy while minimizing the damage we do to each other."
"What I would LIKE to happen after death is whatever you believe in, exists. I think Christians should get to go to heaven if they truly believe in it, Hindus and Buddhists get reincarnated, and everyone else also gets to experience what they believe they will experience."
"'I would still experience Nothing. Maybe it's one of those things where at the moment of death their brain makes them experience what feels like an infinitely long moment in time where they experience their afterlife. I just think it would be neat for everybody."
Better_Meat_
Shrug
Happy GIFGiphy"Best advice I received from a dear senior on their way out. 'You win some, you lose some' shrug. Nothing divine, life is that simple and wonderful, accept it and move on."
Tune_Kindly
It all sounds pretty simple. Why are people so up in arms about Atheists?
Whatever
Bored Episode 15 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do."
imCIK
Cool with Empty
"Nothing. [Serious]."
rumblingtummy29
"I feel this way about death. When I was 5, my grandfather died and my cousin simple said, he is dead, that means you are gone forever. Everything ends up dying, even plants and animals. I'm now in my 40's and still have this simplistic view of life and death. People think I'm ambivalent to life and death but it's just what it is."
thepigfish82
puppet-masters...
"I think a lot of religious people struggle with the fact that we are all just swirling units of chaos. There is no grand plan or great orchestrator. I think that’s why people who are prone to religion are also susceptible to things like Q anon and the Cabal and all that. They REALLY want to believe that there is some almighty puppet-master who determines all of humanity’s fate."
Lngtmelrker
“we’re living in a society!”
"Just be a kind and empathetic person not because you’re worried about some cosmic justice, but because it’s the right thing to do. If there is some being that created us there’s no way they actually care about believing in it or adhering to some rules from over 2000 years ago."
"Also a big thing for me is that I find the idea that you need religion or the Bible in order to have morals and ethics pretty dumb. It’s pretty f**king clear that most evangelicals have neither. But my main thing is being a good person simply because, as George Costanza once said we’re living in a society!' If you’re only a good person in order to make it to heaven you probably aren’t actually a good and moral person."
conservative_genius
That's All
Circle Of Life Loop GIFGiphy"You're born. You live. You die. That's it. After you die you cease to exist, the same as before you were born."
serefina
Believe what you want. We're all here together. So let's focus there.
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I feel like this article can go on forever. Let's get some highlights.
Wasted Time
Nbc Im Done GIF by SuperstoreGiphy"Meetings that could and should have been an email."
Sirena609
Lotto People
"Getting stuck behind people playing the lottery at a corner store."
thenuggetlover
"I also used to work in a gas station and you’re SO right. I f**king hated the lottery people. Especially since my store had a small staff and there was usually only one of us working at a time, which meant that I couldn’t get any of my other work done as long as they were there."
"And you’re right, it’s also pretty sad to watch. I had one lady who used to come in every day and spent hundreds and HUNDREDS of dollars on scratch tickets. One day, she won $200 after spending probably around $600 and she was so excited and saying she can 'finally pay her bills.'"
i-am-your-god-now
Aware...
"No situational awareness. Job, home, shopping, driving. Think for one minute and go about. OBSERVE!!"
Dizzy-Foundation8122
"My mom is one of those people who leave the shopping cart in the middle of the damn aisle and proceed to walk twenty feet away. After correcting her a million times to no effect I just walk away now so people don’t know I’m with her."
OutrageousEvent
Shut Up!
"Endless barking in the middle of the night, I love animals but that sh*t I can't stand."
Acceptable-Lemon2924
"Endless barking in general drives me up a wall. One of my friends dogs was barking almost an entire gaming session the other day. I wanted to reach through the computer and smack him for letting it go on."
bangersnmash13
Kindness
customer service waiter GIFGiphy"People being mean to service workers, especially if the workers are very young."'
scaryboilednoodles
All of these things. I hate them all.
Admit It
Admit It Tell The Truth GIF by TV LandGiphy"People who never accept fault when they mess something up. Like, why blame a million people when it was clearly you who did it???"
Quirky-Area-8978
From Above
"My upstairs neighbors."
lutzow89
"I had terrible neighbors at my previous apartment. It was a one person studio for students, but her boyfriend was clearly living with her illegally and he was loud."
"One night we knocked n the door at 3 AM because of the loud music and an unknown girl opened the door. I just thought they were having a little party. But the next door I saw the girl living there come home with a suitcase after having been away for the weekend... Her BF was cheating on her in her own apartment."
Th3_Accountant
Move Away
"People who sit directly next to me at the airport, movie theater, any other place where you can choose a seat when there is PLENTY of other seating."
BacardiPardy33
"I can’t YES this enough and the ones who can’t park for crap so they park so close you can’t open doors on one side of the car or the ones who park directly behind when you pulled through so the door won’t open to load groceries."
BacardiPardy33
It's Over
"People who try to restart old drama. Like I'm done with you, just leave me alone."
Tired_Potatos
"Yep, half the reason I've basically quit playing one of my favorite online video games. People keep bringing old crap up or sh*tting on on someone who used to be our friend. I got tired of it so I just ejected the game out of me."
CaucasianHumus
AHHHHH!!!
move leading GIFGiphy"People walking too slow in front of me with no way to get around them. It’s even worse if it’s a couple or group taking up the whole sidewalk. HAVE SOME SPATIAL AWARENESS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!"
_-v0x-_
Life in general pisses me off. I'm easy.
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