I love food but I am no foodie. Food is here to sustain survival or to fill your feelings because you're unloved, I jest. I clearly have a complicated affair with the munchies. Who doesn't? And all of that drama begins at birth.
Think of it... before we can express ourselves properly we're being force-fed food we may loathe. So when we're kids, meals can be traumatizing. Some ingredients just do not mesh with your body chemicals. And that's ok. So parents stop force-feeding the gross.
Now as we age our palette refines and grows. So some of the food we hated we can learn to love or appreciate. But it takes time.
Redditor u/y_kama wanted to chat about the menu, so they asked:
What did you dislike to eat as a child, but now do you adore?
Liver. I will not ever eat liver. I had to say that. But I use to hate spices, any spices, even pepper, now I adore them. In fact the bland I was in love with makes me sad.
Bad ParentsBasketball Wives Ugh GIF by VH1Giphy
"Most foods as prepared by my parents."
"I didn't appreciate my traditional dishes until I moved to America where my friends would beg me for portions of my meals."
I prefer Manicotti...
"I refused to eat lasagna as a kid because it looked gross. Then at a school camp there was nothing else on offer so I tried it and realised it's delicious and I was a freaking moron."
"Thank you sir, I thought I was the only freak disgusted by the look of lasagna as a kid. I pretty much went through the same process. I was sleeping over a friends house and his mom made lasagna for dinner. Would be kinda awkward to say I'm grossed out just looking at your mom's food. Had to chomp it up. Boy does that sh*t smack though."
Be Brave on Fridays
"My parents would have pizza every Friday night, but I would always go to the restaurant next door and had a burger. I always forced my brother to go with me otherwise I wouldn't be able to go to another place. I remember being brave one day and trying pizza and it was just kind of okay. Now I love pizza."
"I clearly remember my dad trying to get me to try fudge at my grandpa's birthday party and definitely thinking grown ups were NOT going to trick me into eating that. I don't recall when I figured out it's just chocolate with extra sugar added... I just remember the giant gross looking dessert on the buffet table."
Because of farts...How-To Vegetables GIF by Food52Giphy
"Beans. I only ate two beans through my whole life by the age of 10-11. Now I love them in burritos and stuff."
I kind of like beans. Not all beans, but most. Beans are also super healthy. And what psycho hates fudge?
Hot Hot Hot!spicy bill hader GIFGiphy
"Spicy food. Now I love it."
"Give me all the Kalamatas. I hated olives as a kid. Maybe because we only had the canned black ones at home. Then I tried some food with real olives and it blew my mind. And capers. I'll eat a spoonful of capers as a snack. I never salted my food when I was single. My now wife is a mad woman in the kitchen and should me how spices and salt can make things 100x better."
"Tomatoes - now I've got 8 different heirloom varieties in my garden."
"I'm so surprised this isn't a more popular answer, tomatoes are one of the things where I just woke up one day and I was like "oh wait, maybe a slice of tomato on a burger would be amazing?!" It's one of the more fun things about getting older."
The Strangest Superstitions People Actually Observe | George Takei’s Oh MyyyThe world can be a superstitious place. If you've ever knocked on wood or thrown salt over your shoulder then you've run into one or two throughout your life...
"Bell peppers. I didn't like them but I got one little piece of one in my sub sandwich once and didn't notice until I bit into it. I put them on almost everything now."
"I absolutely loathed bell peppers until I accidentally ordered something absolutely loaded with them at a Vietnamese restaurant with my labmates. I tried it out of a sense of shame or obligation, and was shocked to discover that it was basically candy in vegetable form. I have no clue what my mother does to bell peppers in order to convert them into butter, inedible pellets, but I now eat them regularly."
Fresh PleaseJim Carrey Asparagus GIFGiphy
"Asparagus. My dad used to insist on canned vegetables for some ungodly reason and canned asparagus is rancid. However, as an adult, I was introduced to fresh asparagus and I absolutely love it."
"Broccoli." ~ nhjuyt
"My mom would steam broccoli for about 7 years, approximately. The whole house smelled like freshly soiled butt cheeks. It was served with "cheese" sauce, but the only similarity it shared with cheese is that they (probably)could be purchased in the same store."
"The mouth feel was akin to canned mushrooms, and tasted. Of some unworldly eldritch horror, like licking a wall of oozing eyeballs. I do not have fond memories of steamed broccoli." ~ venomoushealer
"Onions." ~ throwawaygrosso
"Pearls of the earth. I loved them even as a kid. My mom would pan-fry a steak sometimes and cook a bunch of onions and garlic in the pan too. They were generally reserved for my dad but he would give us the tiniest little bit of them and we would savor them like they were the best thing in the world." ~ tacknosaddle
"Mushrooms." ~ abbyrosaleen
"I was the same way until a friend talked me into trying a fried morel. I love fresh mushrooms of all forms now. I think the problem was, when I was growing up my folks always got the cheap stems and pieces in a can and I couldn't stand them. I still thank that friend for challenging me to try something different." ~ 1980pzx
Popeye Liedpopeye the sailor man GIFGiphy
"Spinach." ~ Lord-AG
"We grew spinach and chard in our garden when I was growing up, so I always loved it. I didn't realize why everyone hated it until I tried some from a can. That stuff was awful." ~ thecookiemaker
"It took me a while to realize my parents weren't just bad cooks - they were barely "cooking" at all most of the time. If I think back to when I was a kid, a good 75% of our meals were pre-prepared to some degree, or else were "instant" box versions, or frozen versions made to heat up in the microwave that they didn't augment at all (like those microwaveable pouches of veggies)."
"And the parts that they did cook themselves were usually overdone and unseasoned. Obviously I'm sympathetic to the fact that anyone who relies on this stuff does so because they're strapped for time, which my parents certainly were, but man....I literally didn't like ANY homecooked meal besides spaghetti until I was about 18 years old." ~ isilluminated
Just give me jelly...
"I don't know about 'adore,' but I spent the first 38 years of my life thinking peanut butter was the crap of Satan. No idea what I didn't like about it. Couple years ago when I was doing an art stream, someone asked what foods I liked and whatnot, and peanut butter was mentioned."
"They challenged me to eat a spoonful of it on stream, and at the time, that was a big deal for me because I'd convinced myself it was the worst thing. I did it anyway, realized it was perfectly fine, and now, a couple years later, I have peanut butter pretty much every other day in some way or another."
"It's really weird how tastes can change. I was hopeful it would have happened with beer as well, but I still just hate it." ~ rxsheepxr
Dip in Ranch
"Nobody said celery because if you hate it, you hate it for life. F celery." ~ 14159265q
"I've never minded celery. That being said, I don't seek it out or buy it regularly. But if it's getting ignored on a veggie tray, I'll dip it in ranch and enjoy it. It's also a great ingredient for soups and can add juiciness and depth of flavor. Also, I've had really crappy, chewy celery in the past. I can understand hating celery based on only having bad celery." ~ HurtMyKnee_Granger
"Brussels sprouts. My mom used to steam them from frozen (still gross imho). Now I roast fresh ones and they're my go-to veggie." ~ PopeAlexanderVII
"I never tried them when I was a kid, and only had them about a year or two ago. But, I still remember it as the quintessential food that kids don't like.I especially remember watching a cartoon with (I think) toys as main characters, and one of them had pretty much a phobia of them. So, when I tried it (I also roasted them), I was like "Wtf? Brussel sprouts are like the best vegetable ever!" ~ Hundvd7
Bougie...String Cheese Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphy
"Cheese. Hated it. Now I love it! Turns out I just hate Kraft singles and fake cheese. Apparently I'm a bougie cheese person." ~ Itwasntmeforreal
Not without pancakes...
"Real maple syrup. As a kid I only wanted the fake corn syrup stuff. My dad was always trying to get me to put the real stuff on my pancakes and I refused. Now it's one of my favorite things, pancakes with real maple syrup. Yum." ~ jbm72710
"When I was younger I thought I didn't like maple syrup. Turns out I only don't like the fake stuff, and real maple syrup is amazing." ~ quacks_echo
I could live off of asparagus. At ten I would've thrown out of a window. See how you grow.
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Parenting is hard. That is a basic, simple truth--and it is not meant for everybody. I truly will never understand why people don't have to prove themselves capable of being parents before they decide to bring a new life into this world. You have to have a license to drive, buy a gun... fish! Why is there not a parenting permit?
Everything you do affects your children. And then children become adults who carry your actions that turn to scars. The job of a parent is riddled with failures. So that is a truth you have to ready yourself for and then make a plan to do better.
Thank God for therapists.
Redditor u/umbralia wanted to discuss the gritty details and the imperfections of childhood, by asking:
What are the things you feel your parents failed at when raising you?
I know I could never be a parent. I've never even kept a plant alive. It's a miracle my dog is semi-normal. That's the first step, acknowledge your faults and truths.
little things...Season 4 Swag GIF by Rick and MortyGiphy
"Confidence/worrying. Little things seem to be a big deal with them Also both of them would make unnecessary comments about my looks."
"Absolutely no food guidance at all. I was allowed to have as much soda, cookies, candy, cakes, chips, all sorts of junk food, etc., as I wanted. Seldom was there any healthy food in the house. I struggled with my weight most of my childhood and the early part of my adulthood because I was never taught to eat healthy. Finally as an adult I started figuring it out and finally lost the weight but I was not raised, ever, to eat healthy but I wish I was."
"Independence, I was the kid who had an overprotective parent so when other kids went to parks/shops/friends houses I was told no you can't go because it's unsafe, made me very socially isolated because everyone else did things and I had to stay back on my own."
No Big Loss
"My mom, she complained about me losing weight (I didn't) when I wanted to just eat enough to not be hungry. She kept asking me where I got this crazy idea to only eat when I'm hungry. And the worst part? When She was complaining about the weight I didn't lose, I was STILL overweight."
Impactcouple yelling GIF by The Maury ShowGiphy
"They failed at keeping their relationship issues to themselves and not letting it spill over into our childhood and impact our daily lives."
Children are always watching. That is lesson number one. Also, focus on imparting the ways your babies can live a full life and not just how to survive struggle.
ExplosionsIntimidating Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"How to manage my anger. I was implicitly taught to bottle everything up because anger is an unacceptable emotion. It has had unexpected effect in a variety of areas down the line, especially when it comes to dealing with authorities."
"everything is ok"
"I have this reward issue, but for a different reason. My father used to just disappear for months at a time when I was a kid. We were a 2 income household and my mother was always too proud to ask for help or even admit there was a problem, so we usually went hungry and without power sometimes."
"Whenever my father came back, it meant we had money again and to compensate for how awful things were, my mother would take us grocery shopping and we'd get whatever we wanted. I remember vividly the times we'd come home from shopping and just pig out on ice cream, snack cakes, frozen pizza, candy, cookies, whatever we wanted."
"Having food, especially junk food, meant "everything is ok" in my brain. A lot of feast and famine as a kid. As an adult, it took me a while to work out healthier eating habits. There is still nothing as comforting as a stomach full of processed junk, but it doesn't happen often anymore."
People Share The Most Selfless Thing They've Ever Secretly Done | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Never Far Enough!
"My parents were extremely strict. I had to go to bed at 9pm every night, no matter whether it was a holiday or weekend. I was only able to be with friends my parents approved of. I went out with a guy in high school to see a movie that she chose for us to see. When we got to the theater, the movie was sold out so we chose a different movie."
"Both were rated PG (my mom would prefer it was rated G), and when I got home I told my mom about the movie we saw. She got furious with me because I didn't call her to get permission to change movies. That's just one of the many nightmares I dealt with. My mom would say something was okay to one day, and the next day we weren't allowed to do it ever again."
"I moved out when I was 18 years old. She lives in New England and I moved to Alaska for a while and then California. I haven't lived on the East Coast in almost 30 years. I'm in my 60's and sometimes I wonder if living all the way across the country is far enough away."
Feel the Hate
"When they got divorced it was abundantly clear they hated each other more than they loved us. Prior to that they were pretty good parents considering how young they were. Especially considering my dad had one of the worst examples of a father I'd care to imagine. They just got blinded by the bitterness between them and nobody thought to see above it."
"My sister was the center of attention when I was a kid, and in many ways, she still is. I lived a solitary childhood. My mom was completely disengaged from my life. I never go to do sports, hang out with friends, get involved in after school or extracurricular activities, or develop any hobbies. I was meant to be seen, not heard. I lived my entire childhood reading books, playing chess, and wandering around town aimlessly completely alone."
"And when I became of age to start working, she used my savings account as a means to finance sister's life. In later years when my sister grew up to be a sociopath, pathological liar, and ego maniac, they sort of recognized the mistake. My mom inquired recently why I never brought a girl over and I explained there was no room for me to have a social life in my sister's world."
Living WellNew Girl Facepalm GIF by HULUGiphy
"Confidence, money management, and throughout my teenage years, caring for me in general. I get it, my older brother had just died, but you had three other kids. One was only 8, and at 13, I shouldn't have had to step up and be his mother."
See there... failure and consequence. That is why there are so many wealthy therapists out there. Nobody says you have to be the perfect parent, just aim to be decent.
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When I was ten, twenty even, I remember having so many friends Christmas would drive me to bankruptcy. Friends at work, friends at school, friends in the neighborhood; they were everywhere.
I couldn't even define the feeling of loneliness until I was almost 30. And knowing loneliness isn't actually a bad thing, more people should know that sooner rather than later. Eventually my friend pool dwindled, as does everyone's.
You realize quickly that hanging around on the monkey bars isn't an efficient way to meet new people when you're 40. And monkey bars themselves are a detriment to your back.
It isn't always easy to go out and meet new people, but you have to try. So let's compare strategies.
Redditor u/zehlewe wanted to meet some new people for platonic fun, by asking:
How the hell do you make new friends as an adult?
I myself try to take new classes. I take acting, writing and cardio classes. Well I was, then COVID happened. So my strategy has been on hold for a bit. And I hate ZOOM classes.
Stand by...Season 5 Thanksgiving GIF by FriendsGiphy
"Stand near an extrovert and hope they adopt you."
"Find a group even if online (since it is a lot tricky going out now). I joined a forum for parenting because I didn't have friends who were parents and I didn't want to talk to relatives about my worries. Apparently, it is not just me looking to find friends! Not everyone became my friend but having at least 1 who I can really trust made a lot of difference."
Things to Do
"Hobbies. Pursue them and find a local venue for it. Then just talk to people there doing what you're doing."
"Hobbies! This is the big one. I got into Warhammer for a few months before covid and ended up gaining a few friends. Hopefully I get back to the game store after work calms down. I also started flying last year during covid. The flying club has a ton of cool people. My flight instructor is same generation as I am and we click pretty well. And old farts at airports love to chat. I made more friends last year than I did in the last 5."
'I'm here to do something'
"Regular accidental contact. Initially this sounds a little like stalking, so I'm going to have to explain a little. You made friends at school/college because you turned up to places to do 'something'. The people that were there were secondary to your main goal or task. Basically you turned up to maths every day and so did the dude sitting 3 seats away. This is the regular accidental contact."
"As an adult, this only really happens at work and the age differences can be problematic. This is why people suggest joining sports teams or clubs that meet on a regular basis. You meet up to 'generic sport' and of the 15-20 other people that do there might be 5 that are potential friends. The non-threatening nature of 'I'm here to do something' is basically an excuse to have the regular contact where you find out more about these people and can develop a friendship."
"Since this friendship business requires regular contact, places like bars are often pretty poor - unless you are one of the regulars. Sports, Hobby clubs, book groups are all the sort of places that replace the classroom of yesterday. Adult life makes most of your regular tasks revolve around a small group of people (workmates/family/flatmates), you need to find regular contact groups outside that subset."
"Lay down on the ground, and pretend to be dying. When people start to circle around you in hope of taking your stuff, sit up and start telling them cool facts about frogs. Bam, friendship!"
I love causing scenes. That last bit would be fun and definitely memorable. Who doesn't love someone with a flare for a bit of drama? The definition of extroverts. And we're fun.
travel our own paths...Fuck You Season 4 GIF by FriendsGiphy
"I'm 35 and my friends have dwindled down to my husband of 16 years. Who just recently told me he feels we want different things in life and should "travel our own paths. FML."
"Work and hobbies usually work. I just stay friendly, joke a lot, ask plenty of questions. I find people really open up when they don't feel judged and they feel you are enthusiastically listening to them. Oftentimes as an adult, other adults aren't "actively" listening to your tales because they're so wrapped up in their own lives."
"If you listen first, really take time to get to know them and have a good time (joke) they generally start reciprocating pretty quickly. Thats how I get along with people. Actual long term adult friends are hard to come by. Always seems like if you aren't convenient, they aren't going 5o make time for you. Ive got a couple now that I can call anytime though."
These Conspiracy Theories Are Easy to Debunk | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"It's very difficult . You have to be committed to finding friends. It doesn't really happen naturally anymore. I'm so busy these days that even when I make a new friend I don't really have time that I am willing to spend with them. I use my limited free time to be with my wife, relax and finish projects around the house. Scheduling time with friends almost feels forced, like an additional errand lol."
Be Sporty Spice
"Recreational/leisure sports leagues."
"Absolutely no one cares if you're good, no one cares if you mess up, the main objective is to include people who are interested. Its a fun way of getting exercise & you can meet an absolutely vast array of people regardless which sport - slow pitch softball, pick up basketball, flag football, pick up soccer, bowling, billiards, etc. Doesn't matter, people will always be willing to help & its a fun bonding experience shared with random people, you'd be surprised how many people I met through this stuff."
ChatterHappy Season 5 GIF by FriendsGiphy
"Talk to people, I have a few gym friends that I made cause I just asked about their routines and now we chat and workout together sometimes."
It was pool...
"One of the longest maintained friendships from college that I have was someone I met from being "there to do something." It was pool. I was there to play pool and so was he, like clockwork. We would talk and chat and play a lot of pool month to month and year to year, never changing. After a few months we were friends and I'm still friends to this day."
"Same with a guy from math class. we became friends because we both had the same ugly weird shoes (gray and yellow color combo just made no sense lol) but we had multiple math classes together. He actually got me the high paying job I have today and would be nowhere without him. Regular accidental contact is a blessing."
"I'm definitely an introvert with a dash of social anxiety. My roommate and best friend in college was a huge extrovert. I went to so many parties, bars, events and made tons of friends that I probably never would have otherwise if he didn't drag me along with him. I also married an extrovert so keeping the theme alive!"
Later in Life
"I've probably got more friends as an adult in my 30s than I ever did in my early 20s and teens. I do exactly the same, just have a genuine interest in people and getting to know them, so long as they aren't me then I find them fascinating. Even if you don't agree with all their views it doesn't really matter."
"I agree with being positive and jokey as much as can be, I think a lot of people are looking for someone to offload on and it can be a lot to take in for anyone who isn't prepared. If you keep it fun and enjoyable though I think it creates a bond where they will want to be supportive comes later."
"One thing I notice too is I have a weird thing for faces and details about people, I used to have to pretend I didn't remember people when I was young because some classmates told me it was creepy. Now though I find if I recognize people and ask about an event or hobby they told me about, then they normally are fairly happy to chat."
Knocking PinsSport Lol GIF by TikTok FranceGiphy
"Join a bowling league. It's easier to make friends with a bowling league because you see these people weekly. I've made a lot of good friends through bowling. They might be weird friends, but they'll be fun."
25% success rate...
"Dude. I've realised. As an adult you have to say "you are my friend now". We are all so unsure of if someone is a friend. I legit say "bruh. We are friends now." 25% success rate. Mostly I'm bad at texting so i lose out on friends. Still, every 4 people you make friends with, 1 sticks. That's a lot."
"Don't compare your adult friendships to adolescent friendships. They will be different because you are different, your commitments are different, priorities etc. Like when I was late teens early 20s if a close friend needed help I'd drop what I was doing and give them a ride, help them move, finish a project etc. we were like that for each other. Can't do that now. In part this is because I have my own family, 3 other people that depend on me for things."
"After they're all good, then there's time for friends. In a few years it'll just be one other person mostly as my kids grow up and start families of their own. I suspect that then friendships will change again and be more similar to those early almost familial bonds I made. I think media has built up unrealistic expectations of what friendships can be (well for most of us anyways)."
"Also you may not fully realize it at the time but if you want to have those storied, long term, since grade school sort of friendships you have to pretty much not move away from your hometown. Sounds kinda duhhh... but if your goal is to get outta dodge you will lose touch with those still in dodge and while you may be able to pick up where you left off later, it's still not the same because you left off."
"Met my two best adult friends when we were apartment neighbors. I have a city garden next to a nice person every summer and we've become friends. This winter i will mall walk and might meet someone. It seems to me that you have to routinely be in close proximity to someone and eventually greetings become conversations."
"I have this same question, but as a "homeschool" kid. Never had any friends in my life, and now I'm nearing adult, never had any dates or experience, never had any friends making experience, never had any fun in my childhood, and now I figure out adults have hard times making friends too?? Imma be single and lonely forever y'all..."
"I usually find people at work that I vibe with. I also add random people on facebook who seem interesting. Most of the time it doesn't lead to anything. On rare occasion it leads to friends for life, including one Colorado bartender who has told me I get free drinks for life if I'm ever at any bar he's tending. I'm not a heavy drinker and I live on the opposite side of the country, but it's the little things like that which matter most to me."
All you can do is try. Go say hi to a stranger, in a safe setting of course. If it doesn't workout, it wasn't meant to be. Lead with a smile and maybe a song. Something from Lady Gaga perhaps.
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I hate kids. Ok, that is a strong sentiment, I dislike kids... a lot. I babysat one time in my life and that was more than enough.
The only other times I babysat was when I was forced by my mother to watch after my brother which was never fun. Sorry, bro.
I also just can't handle the responsibility of keeping someone's kid breathing. I kill plants.
And I know what I was like as a kid to keep an eye on, so I speak from experience.
Redditor u/oh_the_struggle wanted to chat with people who have a struggle or two watching over others by asking:
Babysitters, what's the most unsettling thing that's happened while you were babysitting?
I lost track of the amount of times I wondered off. My bestie and I once decided to build a fort in his backyard when we were suppose to be hanging out front. We neglected to tell anyone, cut to two hours later and the whole neighborhood is scouring the block for us. Needless to say getting punished was an understatement. I'll never forget the look of horror and relief on my babysitter's face. Sorry Janeen.
EVILBad Child GIF by Tones and IGiphy
"A family from church asked my mom if I could babysit for them, so I had to."
"Soon after the parents left, sitting in their living room watching cartoons with both the kids, a boy and a girl, the little girl asked for some kind of elaborate snack or something and I chuckled and said "no sorry."
"No expression on her face, the little girl stood up, crossed the living room to a crate that their large dog was locked in, released it, and told it to go after me, which it did. I remember that evil little kid cackling while this huge dog chased me in circles around the house. And that was the end of my babysitting career."
"My sister was babysitting and I got a screaming panicked call from her. She was putting one child down for the night (a girl around 3, I think), and the little boy (around 6) stopped playing, grabbed a chair, unlocked the front door, and left the apartment. She was distraught. I told her to call 911 and I'd come help her with the toddler. When I got there, the police were talking to her and wrapping up."
"Thankfully, even though it was dark, two older women had been out for a walk and found him wandering down the sidewalk of one of the busiest roads in town!The weirdest thing is that the parents were completely unfazed. They apologized for NOT TELLING HER HE HAD DONE IT BEFORE and wanted her to babysit again. My sister never babysat again."
The Filthy Guy
"When I was in high school I used to baby sit for a family that had a glass door off their kitchen and when ever I'd get something out of the fridge for the kids I'd think to myself how scary it would be if someone was just standing there looking in."
"One night it was storming really bad and I went to get one of the kids a glass of milk and lighting flashed and a filthy man I'd never seen was standing there framed in the glass door staring in. I screamed and yelled for the kids to go hide. Of course they didn't listen and ran into the kitchen."
"Turns out it was their uncle stopping by to drop off something he had borrowed. He worked construction and had gotten quite muddy and was just going to leave what ever it was by the door which is when I saw him. So it ended up being a case of nothing, but the terror I felt when the lightning lit him up was pretty intense."
"The estranged husband showed up, drunk, demanding to see his kids. Tried to break into the house. I called the wife and the police. Never babysat for them again, even though the wife was very nice - just too traumatizing for all. The husband moved away I believe. Wife is remarried and much happier."
Too ThinOver It Maid GIFGiphy
"So I used to babysit for the lady who lived next door to me a few years back."
"Her children's room was the bedroom that shared a wall with me. While putting the kids to bed I heard someone moving around my bedroom (the walls were stupidly thin). One of the children told me that they hear the noise a lot. My parents weren't home. I didn't want to go home."
See, this is why I started a neighborhood dog walking business instead of watching kids. Kids are a mess. And their parents aren't much better.
Shots in the FallDrunk Happy Hour GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
"1978, fall (October?), Wyo. I was watching my Spanish teacher's kids when I heard a gunshot."
"It actually went through a small shared section of the wall. Scared the crap out of me! I knew a cop, called his house and he came over. Turns out the neighbors were cleaning their hunting rifles… drunk."
"Babysitting" my cousins when I was like ~10 and the three of them were less than 5. Babysitting is in quotes because their mom was home but I was in charge of them in the bedroom. She was in the living room with my oldest cousin. I was playing with one of them when the youngest, about 2, started coughing, holding his neck."
"I clearly remember just standing there for 5 seconds, stone cold completely bewildered. I had NO idea what to do. I just froze. Luckily my oldest cousin somehow heard the baby choking and he rushed in. He grabbed the baby and pulled a barbie shoe out of his mouth, while I still stood there, shocked."
"I got an earful from my aunt and mom for nearly letting the baby die. I'll never forget it. I wasn't afraid, I wasn't scared, I didn't feel anything. Just froze. Let this be a lesson to never let 10 year olds watch babies. They're just not equipped to deal with disaster... or at least I wasn't."
"At 8 or 9 I was put in charge of my infant brother for some reason. Got distracted by my lipsmackers collection, and the little booger climbed up the bunk bed (I didn't even know he could do that!), he fell onto the side of a wooden toy box and broke his leg."
"My mom insisted it wasn't broken even though he wouldn't stand, because he barely cried. Poor bub got a big banana yellow cast while I sobbed hysterically, I STILL feel bad about it. He would turn out to just be the injury prone brother. I don't know why that never tipped them off it's a bad idea to put children in charge of children."
TragedySad Tears GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
"Nothing spooky, just generally unsettling. Their first baby died of SIDS so I basically sat in silence listening to the baby monitor the whole night, worried in case something happened."
It takes a special kind of heart to look after kids. I don't have it. And kids today need better rearing. So I'm stick with fur babies. I need a Xanax after this thread.
How did I not know that this entire time? I feel like I say that more often than I should. And I know I'm not alone.
There are simple facts of life that seem to elude all of us on a daily basis. Now many of the things that are new to us can be because of environment and general curiosity, not just just because we're lame in the brain, so don't worry.
I know a ton of my newly discovered knowledge is thanks in large part to the internet. I've lost track of the amount of sayings that I spoke without knowing their origins or true meanings. So I often find myself googling things I never thought to google, mainly because I never had a Google.
Let's learn, pencils up...
Redditor u/boy-1der wanted to hear about what fascinating things people have recently discovered that many of us have known since we learned to walk by asking:
What basic, children's-age-level fact did you only find out embarrassingly later in life?
I was in my twenties before I learned Elton John was singing about a "Tiny Dancer" and not serenading "Tony Danza." That was a relief. I like Tony Danza but he doesn't need a song. Now to find out who the Tiny Dancer is...
Clearghost library GIFGiphy
"I always thought the term, "the coast is clear"...was, "the ghost is clear" (transparent)."
"I lived in a desert most of my life. No snow. Before my recent experience, I had spent maybe a total of 5 days of my life in snow, and the snow I was in was incredibly light. Because of this I always pictured snow as eternally white and ethereal, like in all the cartoons I'd watched as a kid. Went to spend time with my partner's family back in the Midwest in early February."
"I was absolutely enchanted on my first day of the two week stint. Then I watched what happened as the snow stayed around. And I got to see black ice and the nasty gray/brown snow blocks on the side of the road. I suppose I should have KNOWN snow got dirty and tracked over and nasty but I didn't. Robbed the childhood wonder and whimsy right from under my nose."
"My great-grandfather had half a pinkie on his left hand and always said it was because he liked to use it to sop up leftover pancake syrup and had worn it down to a nub. This made sense to me because I'd seen him do that plenty of times. I was so embarrassed to be in college before I realized that was ridiculous and finally asked him what really happened."
"In reality, he and my uncle had been working in their blacksmith shop, and my uncle accidentally brought a sledgehammer down on his pinkie. He didn't want to traumatize me with the truth as a kid, but by the time I asked, I was more than old enough to handle it. 🤣"
"When I was 4 or 5 my mother brought me home a balloon one day. Plain blue balloon with helium. I accidentally let it go and it flew away. Being little, I was devastated. Later that night she comes back from somewhere and tells me she was at the gas station and miraculously, my balloon just came floating by. Being a kid I was thrilled and totally believed it. So fast forward 20+ years. I'm on a date and we stop to get gas and we see a balloon floating by the gas station."
"Probably hadn't thought of that story again in all that time. So I start telling my date the story about how I had a balloon fly away and then my mother found the very same balloon at a gas station and then as I'm saying it out loud I realize (too late to not look like an idiot) that of course it wasn't the same freaking balloon. I've never seen someone laugh so hard."
The Mallow Treeroasting episode 5 GIFGiphy
"Not me, but my father once stole into the woods during a family camping trip and put marshmallows on a bush, so it looked like they grew on it. My sister made it to post secondary horticulture before she wised up."
I do wish marshmallows grew on bushes. Don't y'all? Life wold be so much more pleasant. And if balloons fly by, I'm running. I've seen "IT." So far I haven't learned much, so I'm more in the know than I thought.
The Meet UpSeason 1 Episode 1 Hbo GIF by Big Little LiesGiphy
"As a kid I used to think the Black Market was an actual place like a bazaar where all the criminals would regularly meet up."
"I truly believed that for the longest time that hair grew from the ends of the strands, not from the scalp. When I was 13 I asked my friend who had dyed her hair what she was going to do when the ends grew her natural colour. Didn't hear the end of it. My stupidity still pains me to this day."
"I thought until the age of about 21 that when companies had "Est" next to their name, it was estimated that companies were started around that time. It was only when I voiced my disgust profoundly to my then-partner that it was ridiculous that no one knew when these companies were formed, and why were they all estimated?! She just stared at me blankly for a moment and just went:"
"Penny dropped real hard."
Cheers to the Romans
"Depends what you consider a child I suppose. But in my mid 20s I moved up the food chain from server to bartender at the restaurant I worked at. Some one order a Roman Coke. I didn't know what was in a Roman Coke so I told him so and but that I would figure it out. I figured out that what I had been understanding as a Roman Coke my whole drinking life, was in fact a Rum & Coke... that, I knew how to make!"
The ClefGIF by HULUGiphy
"I didn't realize the handicap sign was a person in a wheelchair for a long time. I had always thought it was just a neat little symbol, kind of like a treble clef."
I could use a Roman coke right about now. In fact, I may concoct a drink using that name. And now I'm going to google some more sayings. And also, I'm intrigued about signs. Thanks for the new rabbit hole Reddit.