Pulling back the curtain isn't always a great idea. Just ask the curious cat. Oh wait you can't... they're dead. Sometimes secrets are the integral part in making the magic. Many professions withhold truth from the public. Now somethings we might be better off knowing, but then the status quo will never be the same. Do we really want to know how the donuts are made?
Redditor u/CircleBox2 was wondering who felt like shedding some light on a few things we as the people are in the dark about by asking.... What's a dark secret/questionable practice in your profession which we regular folks would know nothing about?
Jeweled.
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Pretty much ALL the high-end handmade in Australia jewelry in Australia is made at a secret factory in Bali. All the clients have to show an established business and sign confidentiality agreements.
"body brokers"
There is a problem in substance abuse treatment in the United States called body brokering. Substance abuse treatment can be very expensive and insurance companies pay A LOT of money for a patient to be there. Treatment centers will hire "body brokers" to find addicts with the best, highest paying insurance and entice them to check in to the specific center, the treatment center then gives the broker a commission from the insurance money.
This can go as far as body brokers literally putting more drugs in to the hands of some addicts before they come in, bc the higher level of drugs in your system upon admit, the more and longer the insurance company will pay to the treatment center.
Brokers will also hire other addicts in a pyramid scheme type way to check in to the treatment center, make friends with the other patients, and upon discharge encourage relapse so they come back to treatment.
Submission.
Have you ever started filling out a form for a quote on something (insurance website, or literally anything) and then changed your mind and said "nah, I don't want to give them my personal information", and then abandoned the form before pressing "submit"?
If you think that stopped them from getting your personal information, it didn't. Most companies looking to capture leads will capture your info in real time as you enter it into a form. The submit button is just there to move you to the next step, not to actually send your information to the company.
The Honor System.
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Customs broker here. Every day hundreds of thousands of containers and air shipments arrive into United States territory. The volume of customs entries entered every day is staggering. When we get licensed to be a customs broker we are trained and tested not just on knowledge, but ethics. We even take a pledge to partner with CBP to uphold the law, and cooperate with them should we come across anything suspicious. Why so much emphasis on this?
Customs can't actually screen everything coming in. I'm oversimplifying but CBP basically works on the honor system. You file an entry saying what the shipment is, and they just take your word for it and release it. This happens hundreds of thousands of times a day. Maybe at best customs can screen 3-7% of what's coming in, the rest of just waived through.
They're Guessing.
You know the people who write instruction manuals or user guides in things you buy?
Half the time, they've never even seen or touched the product. Some dude just sends us pictures, a rough description of how it's supposed to work, and that's it.
ETA: Wow this took off. To all the IT dudes of reddit. I actually browse the brand specific subreddits to figure out what to add to my user guides because that's how little info my company provides me. Thanks for making my life easier!
Actor Issues.
I work on on a popular teen TV show. All the lead actors do cocaine regularly and they often come to set high or show up to set late because they chose to party on a Monday night.
People always complain that Disney (in example) always hires old as hell people for their roles, I mean would you hire a teenager for a show that might either have a pilot and one season or maybe run for years if it's successful? I mean, would you really? You don't remember when you were a teenager all the stupid crap you did? Now add fame and income.
Mama Mia!
At a very large pizza chain restaurant that remains widely popular, we had these perforated pans for thin crust and stuffed crust pizzas. They'd get washed in the dish washer by the hundreds per day and at least half would still have burnt cheese on them. Well they were just stacked to dry.
When making new pizzas in those pans, sometimes the pans that were left to "dry" overnight grew bits of mold around the burnt cheese. We were told just to put the dough on top because otherwise we'd never keep up with the orders if we rewashed everything. The manager said, "don't worry, it gets cooked."
Buttless....
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Minor League Baseball (all minor league sports?): the attendances figures are bullcrap.
And I don't just mean "they announce tickets sold instead of butts in seats." No, they just make it up. Teams purposely inflate attendance figures to attract sponsors. ThatUncertainFeeling
Be Announced.
If it has to be accessed regularly in an IT setting? It's not secure. Not unless you're in an industry that actually polices it.
Yes, people are dumb enough to pick up USB thumb drives they find on the ground. The nicer and newer it is, the more likely it'll get plugged in.
Also, if you're looking to verify the security of your vendors, don't announce your visit.
Ghosted
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Not currently my profession but ghost writers in fiction. John Grisham, Danielle Steele, James Patterson, Janet Evanovich etc., all those big names with an NYT bestseller every year use ghostwriters who are are never credited or mentioned. It's barely even a secret.
"There's a big difference..."
Whether it be due to being extremely busy, not caring, not knowing, or the "correct" way just being so damn impractical....you'd be shocked how many corners are cut in every part of the healthcare system. There's a big difference between how nursing/medicine is taught vs how it's practiced.
"Only a few..."
As an exotic dancer; we talk about you in the back. And we laugh and make fun of you. Only a few customers get any kind of praise. Those are the ones who listen to our rules and tip well.
"In the auto industry..."
In the auto industry, mechanics are paid for how long it takes to complete a repair. Makes sense, right? Except that at dealerships, the auto brand has determined how much time can be charged for a given job; so if the tech does it in less, they get paid for the full time and the customer gets charged for the full time - no matter how much time it actually took.
Let's say a simple headlight bulb change. Pop the access cover, take the old bulb out, throw the new one in, turn it on and off to make sure it works. Takes two minutes. But the customer gets charged for thirty, because apparently that job is worth 0.5 hours.
It seems pretty insidious to me.
"Obviously..."
It's possible that this is commonly known, but in America pet food that has expired is legally required to be thrown out. Dry and canned pet food of course can last for months after expiration and be perfectly safe. So not only is it not donated to animal shelters, most pet stores actually tear open the bags and open the cans so that dumpster divers can't use the food for their animals. When I was homeless and had a dog I tried to find stores that didn't open the containers they threw out. I was usually not successful.
Obviously the same thing is done with human food, but I've heard in some places the laws are changing for that and they are allowing stores to donate semi expired food to food pantries. I go to food pantries myself often and I'm grateful for this slow but hopefully steady change and how we handle food "waste". The USDA says approximately 12% of all Americans are food insecure, which means they may not know where their next meal is coming from. About a third of all food produced in America goes uneaten which is something like a hundred and sixty billion dollars. Sometimes it all just makes me want to cry.
"No wonder..."
The insurance industry, at the corporate level, is all about wining and dining the consultants of huge companies that do nothing but act as a middle man between companies looking for insurance and the companies selling insurance. I've seen THOUSANDS spent on getting the opportunity to bid on a contract. No wonder health insurance is so expensive. The money spent is enough to stock a soup kitchen for years.
"I give the worst deals..."
I give the worst deals/worst service to rude guests, and upgrades/vouchers for free food/special discounts to nice people who don't yell at me when something goes wrong with their rooms.
"I've been working..."
I've been working at a Safeway grocery store for a while now and I am on the "sanitation team" because of the coronavirus. This consists of me holding a rag and a spray bottle and mindlessly spraying and wiping the entire store for 8 hours a day. And because of an apparent cleaning supplies shortage, we had to use the same rag all day for everything. Cleaning toilets, sinks, and then the conveyor belts, self check out stations, and everywhere you touch and set your groceries in the front!
"Most general duty officers..."
Police officer in Canada.
Most general duty officers despise doing traffic, and they will not write tickets if they can avoid it. They love warnings because you can't dispute a warning, and there's no chance of court. Many don't know the elements of mundane-seeming offences, and would have a hard time giving evidence in court. If they're going to write tickets, they'll write for administrative violations that can't readily be disputed (no insurance, expired drivers licence, etc) and give you a "break" on the actual driving offences.
But god help you if a traffic unit gets you.
"As much as it's discouraged..."
As much as it's discouraged, most teachers talk/complain/laugh about their students and their families in the staff room.
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"People die everyday..."
People die everyday because of doctors' handwriting and wrongly prescribed drugs. And yet I rarely hear any doctor go to jail because of it.
Also, if doctors make mistakes, they would devise a narrative that removes the blame from themselves, and pin the blame instead on nurses, residents, etc. And usually, patients wouldn't even realize this because doctors are so good at hiding their mistakes.
"Ethically..."
I'm not sure how dark it really is but as a network admin, if your company has an email server, we read them. Ethically it's a gray area without a good reason but legally we are 100% allowed to do it and a lot of us probably do, just for fun. So just never send anything personal from your work email.
"I've learned this practice..."
The Netherlands. But this counts for a lot of the EU.
For us it is common practice that the grave diggers are also the people escorting the casket. Many gravesites here use sand with a top layer of about 30cm of dirt as it helps the rotting process and the gravesites are mostly constructed artificially with a big layer of sand with dirt in top.
We don't add extra sand, we use the sand that already was there, the entire graveyard is build on a big layer of sand. Again this is common practice to help the natural process.
We have to stand on the coffin to get in the grave to remove the chains and remove the iron sheds preventing the grave to collapse. There simply is no other way. But when we fill a grave the family is never present.
Our cemetery doesn't have a crematorium so I wouldn't know about that.
I've learned this practice with our national education for grave yard employees and spoke to many grave diggers from all around the Netherlands. The practice is mostly the same everywhere I describe with the biggest difference being that some sites use the krane to remove the Sheds from the grave.
"I work in a distribution plant..."
I work in a distribution plant for the U.S. Postal Service. Putting "FRAGILE" on your package won't actually make us treat it any better; it's all going on one of the sorting machines anyway. While we do our best to prevent it from being crushed by other, heavier, packages, it's nowhere near guaranteed.
What should you do? Pack it FULL of soft things like bubble wrap or packing peanuts.
"I'm a low paid junior tech..."
Your internet service provider knows what kind of porn you watch.
I'm a low paid junior tech, and if you're not using a VPN, I can pretty much pull up the complete web browsing history of anyone in my service area.
"We'd go to power plants..."
Past profession. Environmental engineer. We'd go to power plants and such and make sure their emissions fall within epa standards. Well guess what happens if they fail an emissions test? They keep us on site while they change the settings and have us run tests until they pass. Not illegal apparently.
Gee, I wonder what happens as soon as we step off the property. Not like they'd change the settings back to what it was before, certainly not.
"I work in IT security..."
I work in IT Security and I gge paid to advise men how to hide their porn and side chicks. I also advise how to protect companies when their employees use porn or hire sex workers using company assets.
"As an example..."
The auto industry has a bunch of them. Find a shop that you trust. Dealerships tend to be a little less shady than independent shops, but they're not immune.
As an example, one of my friends works at a dealership and he said if they find an electrical issue that's likely caused by a battery they'll attach a bad battery's test results to sell a new battery.
"It required more training..."
It required more training for me to get my food handler's permit to make pizzas as a teenager than it did to be able to drive an ambulance. How much training (beyond proving I had a normal driver's license) did the latter require you may ask? Hint: it starts with a Z and ends with an ero.
"The most common of which..."
Most people would be amazed at the amount of health code violations that take place in restaurants. The most common of which is in fast food where items that are supposed to be labeled with hold times are just given new labels when they expire. As long as an inspector didn't see it never happened.
"I used to work..."
I used to work with a nonprofit organization that cleans up plastic bags and other litter and turns it into art or other items. Specifically, plastic bags would be washed, sanitized, and crocheted into different items like bags, coasters, etc.
Well, turns out that is how they marketed it. But in reality the artisans that made the crocheted pieces would buy the plastic bags in bulk, and crochet from those.
"That being said..."
I work as a welder/fitter, mostly on structural steel, and for the most part we do everything right because lives are literally on the line.
That being said, sometimes, by chance, and totally not because we know the beams will only be primed and then covered with concrete/more steel/walls/ceilings, there might be a slight chance of dicks being drawn on in oil markers designed to bleed through the paint. Oh, and that handrail almost definitely was not made with "schedule 80 posts" because the engineer is a dumbass and the rail is blocking you from falling into a wall on a stairway with 3 steps.
Also, its almost a guarantee that every time something isn't done by when the customer wants it, the foreman will blame it on the detailer or engineer not getting us prints soon enough, but it's almost definitely caused by the foreman forgetting when the job was due and not requesting prints, or forgetting we had prints until about a week before the job is supposed to be installed, especially if theres 40 tons of steel that hasn't even been ordered yet, and has to be galvanized.
"When meat falls on the ground..."
I'm a butcher.
When meat falls on the ground we pick it back up dust it off and put it back on a tray. The older butchers joke about it being "seasoned" before putting it back on a tray. Also flys are usually an issue in warming meat coolers, two of the places I've worked in the past had massive maggot infestations and fly's constantly landing on meat before it gets wrapped.
"It's very easy..."
I cut hair for a living as a Cosmetologist. It's very easy to harvest blood and hair (obviously) from clients and I know of one or two who make/have made voodoo dolls of clients.
Schools
Teachers heavily influence your child's future when they're in elementary school via a practice called tracking.
It's technically illegal, but it happens anyway. Basically, a student establishes their behavior and intelligence within the first few years of school. Teachers notice who has "promise" and talk about them with each other (not as a conspiracy, but just as interesting lunch conversation). Then, when students progress to the next grade, and the administration is putting together class lists, they group those smart students together. But teachers also pick out the troublemakers, and they get grouped together too. Have you ever wondered why your teacher had that one class they hated to teach?? That's why. It was the low tracking class, and it was packed full of the kids that were estimated to amount to little.
And it continues on through the grade levels. The smart kids who were identified in elementary school continue to get smarter because they're put in the best classes, typically with each other. They're pushed by guidance counselors toward AP courses and college credits. Meanwhile, lower tracked students, who weren't in the best classes, are pushed toward vocational and technical schools.
There's a correlation between socioeconomic status and a student's likelihood of being low tracked, but that's a much deeper and complex problem.
"When the butchers were grinding beef..."
I used to work at a butcher shop in a grocery store. When the butchers were grinding beef, they would add fat to the grinder if they needed a less lean product. One day I watched a butcher take pork fat out of the garbage and add it to ground beef.
I hope nobody with dietary restrictions buys food there. All I could think was "that's not kosher."
"To be fair..."
Pressure from higher-ups, on quality control, to sign off on welds that do not pass, at a nuclear power plant. To be fair, it isn't widespread, and is very illegal. But it does happen.
"All tenders are decided..."
I'm a distributor of a famous laboratory equipment brand made in NL in a South East Asia country. Everybody is corrupt here. All tenders are decided before they're even launched. We bribe the potential buyers to buy our product. And most of our salesperson markup that money to take some for themselves too. It's effed up. We buy from NL around 50k euro and sell it here for more than 200k.
"Their field teams..."
I used to work multiple jobs- from a babysitter, assistant in a long range telecommunications company, to a cashier at a gas station.
As a babysittern - some kids I used to babysit were about 10-12, but they always knew about all the s*** I didn´t want to show them. Sometimes, these kids talked about serious topic (like alcoholism and drugs), or in one instance, gore. Some of them didn´t have a problem in Cuphead COOP, Fortnite, or some other games, and were able to play these games pretty well, so when I was babysitting two siblings, we used to play a lot of Portal 2 and COOP games.
As an assistant in the LR telecomm company – we used to work along large telecomm companies. Their field teams had no clue about what they were doing - most of their experienced staff (that was out of the company) had already set up most of the stuff. We were usually contracted to do their stuff for large teams, even if there were only about 7 people on our staff traveling all across Slovakia (including me). We had a lot of disputes with Telekom, Orange, and the third largest internet provider in our country.
As a cashier at a gas station - expired food wasn't usually disposed off in the recommended way- sometimes we ate the food after the date of expiration where cameras and people couldn't see us. The only thing we've always got rid of were baguettes. I ate a ton of expired expensive yoghurts, hams, salamis and other stuff while on a lunch break. Also, when our bosses weren't present in the place, we used to make "illegal hotdogs", which were crazy combinations of stuff we had (vegetables & sauces that we had too much of, or all ingredients combined).
My coworker also usually gave me 4-5 overcooked sausages to take home, since their expiration period was only few hours long. One coworker took the expired food home with her to feed her chickens. Also, when the customers left the special points behind, we kept them to ourselves, and put them into the point collection cards. So, after each shift, I left with at least one six pack of beer, or a bottle of sparkling wine (special promotion for buying a cleaning program).
Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.
More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.
Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.
Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.
Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:
"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"
Don't Give Me So Much Credit...
'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."
"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."
"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."
"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"
"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher
Eternal Optimism...
"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."
"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465
Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...
"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”
"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”
"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia
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Double Whammy!
"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."
"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93
Can't Hide Your DNA...
'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."
"She cracked the code."
"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93
Self-Sufficient!
"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."
"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."
"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'
"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody
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A Miracle!
"My brother-in-law’s comment."
"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."
"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."
"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."
"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."
"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."
"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"
"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn
Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...
"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."
"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."
"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."
"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."
"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379
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A Bit Too On The Nose?
"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."
"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."
"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."
"'What would you expect to find there?'"
"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB
Not Yet, Anyway...
"I was working with my friend and his dad."
"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."
"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."
"His dad asked, 'what for?'"
"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."
"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890
Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...
"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."
"She told this story to him:"
"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."
"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."
"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."
"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."
"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."
"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."
"She asked him what was wrong."
“'What’s wrong???'"
"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714
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Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...
"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."
"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52
Read The Room People!
"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."
"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."
"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"
"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl
There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".
As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.