People Reveal Why They Quit Their Jobs Without Notice
[rebelmouse-image 18346220 is_animated_gif=The ultimate reason people quite their job is because they are unhappy, but what causes that unhappiness is what we are interested in. What pushes someone over their limit and encourages them to quit because they just can't take it? It could be the workload for the amount of pay, but it could also get personal.
sirferrell asks:
People who've quit their jobs on short notice out of spite. What was the final nail in the coffin?
That's no way to treat your workers
[rebelmouse-image 18355841 is_animated_gif=I walked straight out of my job at DQ when I was 17.
Basically it was lunch rush and since it was a Sunday we had a skeleton crew since lunch was the only busy time of day. I had 11 orders on the screen with more coming in, absolutely flying around the kitchen making stuff.
Manager was standing in the doorway, literally just leaning up against the wall, talking s*** like "Wow you're kinda slow today" or "I thought you were faster than this". I was still getting orders out in <6 minutes and she wasn't even offering to help. I was already sick of working there but this pushed me over the edge. I asked if she was going to help and she said no. I asked if she thought she could do better than me and she said "of course". I told her "Okay then, have fun" and dropped my hat/nametag on the counter and walked out.
Felt so good. I got a job two weeks later in a department store making more per hour, with no grease/heat and coworkers who weren't s***** people.
No fun on the clock!
[rebelmouse-image 18345018 is_animated_gif=So, I got a job at a packaging plant. Our goal that day was to assemble brooms. You would get a pallet of handles, and a pallet of brush heads, and you were supposed to screw them together, and then put them on an empty pallet.
I struck up a conversation with a guy at the same table as me. We were enjoying ourselves and assembling brooms at a very fast rate--we had already done a few pallets while everyone else had only done one. It's amazing what how just having a good time can make you work harder, and make the time go by faster.
So, we took a break around 10, and when we came back, the floor manager sent us to different tables. As in: the furthest two tables that anyone could possibly inhabit. I asked him if we were doing things wrong or something.
He said, literally: no, you're having too much fun and talking while you work.
I excused myself to go to the bathroom a few minutes later and simply drove away.
Manager changes can be rough
[rebelmouse-image 18355842 is_animated_gif=I worked at this pizza chain for about a year in high school and managed to become the assistant manager. I had a really good relationship with the customers who were mostly regulars.
We were one of those pizza chains that did 2 for 1 deals. In other words, you couldn't technically buy one pizza. However, some of my customers were older single people who didn't want two pizzas but would pay full price for just one.
So one day we get this new manager cause the old one quit. This cranky as hell old lady who was just generally pissed off at the world.
One of our regular customers comes in, asks for his one pizza and so I make it for him. I'm ringing him up and I hand him his one pizza and she comes flying out of the back of the store screeching at me "Why are you trying to rip this customer off!?! Where is his other pizza??"
We both are explaining to her that he only wants and needs one pizza, but she continues ranting and raving. At one point he tells her she should be happy because she's saving money by him only taking half the order, but she's just determined to have a good rant.
So I took my apron off, threw it at her feet and said, "Good luck with the store" and walked out with the customer.
Six months later they had to shut that location down. I'm pretty sure she ran off every customer they had.
Strong leaders are very important
[rebelmouse-image 18355843 is_animated_gif=Was hired to do facility maintenance, set up machines for different operations, qa operators work, do basic machine programming and train new operators on any machine in the facility.
Ended up being promised a raise for 9 months straight, was ultimately told "it wasnt in the budget" when I inquired about when my pay bump would be coming, but was shown a signed employment contract a temp to hire had signed that day promising the pay rate I had been asking for (I also trained that guy so major kick in the teeth for me). That combined with being put on the most brain dead machine possible for 4 months straight due to insane turnover rate caused by the most incompetent and unprofessional operations manager I've ever met is what ultimately led to me sending an immediately effective resignation notice at 5pm on a Friday.
I was never late, never written up, and regularly pulled weekend overtime to fix down machines to keep production intact. Overall I found out I was only being paid about 60% of what I was worth at best.
Flexibility is hard to find
[rebelmouse-image 18345007 is_animated_gif=I had 5 exams in a row (tuesday-saturday). I had requested 3 months in advance for 1 week off, so I had atleast 2 days of studying and nothing else + the 5 days where I'm writing my exams.
They denied it. I went to talk to my departmant manager, who said Itd be fine and he'd clear it up. The next month, I hear that they still couldn't approve it. But they approved my exam days off.
I figured that's fine and I could find someone to take the shifts or call in sick if they're inconvenient.
I get to exam time and I'm scheduled 8 hours a day for the whole week.
I quit on the first day scheduled for that week. Have fun trying to get your other part time university students to skip their exams.
Only he can have his hair down...
[rebelmouse-image 18355844 is_animated_gif=Back in my rocker days, I used to have really long hair like almost down to my waist (I'm a dude). I worked in the kitchen for a hospital. I was a good employee, I was a hard worker, did my work without complaining and did it right. I was never late and I followed all the rules as expected. The manager always made it a point to remind to me to net my hair, or pick it up and under my hat (kitchen staff wore hats). His reminders were perfectly fine and expected, after all it was his job to oversee and enforce food safety rules. Then his, also a rocker, son was hired.
His son and I did not work the same shift. In two weeks time, He was late, stole food, and rarely netted his hair much less pick it up. One day we end up on the same shift. Like clock work, boss man comes over and remind me about my hair, fine no problem. Work begins and I see his son with his hair out. I asked the boss man what the deal was, why can that dude have his hair down, boss man said "stop complaining. Other employees are not your concern"
I clocked out that very second and never went back. I was off to basic training in a month's time. Best decision ever.
Some bosses could use some advice
[rebelmouse-image 18352404 is_animated_gif=I worked for a large insurance company. Husband and I were adopting our son from China. I told my boss that I would only be given about 3 weeks notice from the adoption agency of when I'd be traveling to China. Boss grumbled about it and daily would ask me, "Do you know when yet?" Sometimes he'd ask me multiple times a day.
I finally got my travel dates. My boss arranged for a temp to take over my files while I was gone. I gave my boss and the temp my work email so that they could access my stuff (the company was paperless so all the reports came in through email).
I return home from China with my son and take a few more weeks off to bond with him. A few days before I'm due to return to the office, I check my work email from home and discover that I had over 1,000 emails in my inbox, all unread! My boss and the temp said they "forgot" to check my emails. It took weeks to get all my work caught up, some of which involved me working until midnight or later from home. My boss also griped about having me be gone for a total of 6 weeks, even though women on maternity leave take 6 weeks off. Apparently since my son wasn't biologically mine, I had no right to miss so much work.
Yep, I quit about two months after I returned to work.
Bye!
[rebelmouse-image 18344997 is_animated_gif=I was on contract and the boss asked me to "put in more effort," which took some explaining. What he really meant was, "I want you to put in more hours for free."
Respecting workers time is crucial
[rebelmouse-image 18350567 is_animated_gif=I normally worked a 5-1. This wasn't a, "I worked there a month and quit." Kinda deal. This was a, I've been there for several years, kinda deal. I worked up from a server, to a cook. Pretty big deal for a 20 year old kid. I would always stick around when needed, this led to a LOT, like, a LOT of overworking. At least 2 or 3 days id work 5a-7p. Wasn't always cooking, I sometimes filled in, sometimes just watched over things.
The worst of it, was when I needed a day off, they approved it, but then said I needed to come in a few days before the day. Or, when they just started scheduling me for 80 hour weeks, just assuming that I would have stayed anyway. But, the worst part was that they changed how their pay works. Let's say minimum wage was 7$, servers would make .25$ more, for each year they've been a server. So, I was a server for 5 years (the cap was 5 years) meaning, when I was a server, I made 8.25$. Cook starting pay was 7.75$, i had only been a cook for 1 year. So, when I was a cook, I actually made LESS than when I was a server.
I left there after I told them that I'm not going to be expected to work 14-15 hours shifts, just because they can't keep staff around. They threw that I got a cook position, and should expect to pick up more slack of others. I got a job at McDonald's, they started me at more than I was making there, and have gotten raises and already am a manager in training not even a year after switching.
If you aren't happy at a job, look for something else. Being happy is important, it's so important I can't stress it enough.
That is crossing the line by miles
[rebelmouse-image 18346093 is_animated_gif=I posted about this before, but my boss actually came to my house, demanded to see me to my roommates (who inexplicably let him in and pointed to my room), my boss went into my bedroom where I was in bed reading (and thank god, dressed), and he proceeded to yell at me for 15 minutes about the status of the calendar display. It was Christmas season, I managed a bookstore, and the calendar display was probably a mess because they were so hard to keep neat. Stunned that my boss came into my private bedroom on my time off, I simply did nothing. I didn't know that was even a thing someone would consider doing. My boss demanded I come in early the next morning, along with someone from corporate would would be there, and I would get lectured on my calendar display and given lessons on how to set it up right. Then he left, slamming my door behind him.
your health is not in your bosses hands
[rebelmouse-image 18344995 is_animated_gif=I had a boss ask me to change how I took my bipolar medication so I could trigger permanent mania as I got more done that way.
Uhhh.. no.
Somethings are too much to deal with
[rebelmouse-image 18346862 is_animated_gif=Being passed over for a change of shifts after 2 years, and 6 months of requesting it. Graveyard will really mess with your life, and seeing multiple new hires get day and swing pissed me off to no end. So I grabbed a case of beer, wrote a really sarcastic note about not being dracula and how I deserve to see the sun, taped it to the door, and shoved the key through the crack after locking up. So be kind to your local convenience store cashier, because while you sleep, they stand there under the florescent lights all night, dealing with weirdos.
You're too slow!
[rebelmouse-image 18345448 is_animated_gif=Being treated like s***, not respecting quitting time, and allowing last minute trucks to arrive way past the allowed drop off time.
Worked for a last mile cross dock operation. Since I was new I was always getting yelled at for not moving quickly enough. Having to stay till 1pm on Saturday's (we started shift at 10pm Friday) to lock up the warehouse bay doors. When day shift could have done so. So I worked for three months and quit, and my supervisor and HR dude didn't know why. I laid it down for them.
My buddy still works there. A year later nothing has changed.
Preach!
[rebelmouse-image 18355845 is_animated_gif=When problems at work cost you sleep it's time to go.
Ouch!
[rebelmouse-image 18355102 is_animated_gif=i asked for a raise because I'd been there a while. boss called me in to his office a few days later to discuss it. proceeds to tell me what a horrible worker i am and how i was lucky to not have been fired yet so a raise was out of the question. that cut. i didn't think i was doing exemplary work, but there's only so much you can do in a warehouse.
Sometimes a long cold walk can make you realize some important things
[rebelmouse-image 18349675 is_animated_gif=I'd been feeling depressed and miserable. One early morning I just snapped. I got sent home to shave at 6am, despite having shaved the day before. No car, freezing December morning. While I walked I realized "This sucks. I can do better than this." So I turned in my uniform when I got back, found a job with nearly double the pay, with more hours, requiring half the effort.
Overworking is a thing people!
[rebelmouse-image 18349670 is_animated_gif=They wanted me to work 6, 10 hour days. I told them I'd only do 5. It was a car wash for minimum wage + tips, but it was an hour away cause of traffic. It was good money for me at the time, but the owner was psychotic. I called in the 6th day they wanted me to work. Next day I come in, the manager and everyone else isn't talking to me. I handed him my keys and walked out.
Walmart is more important than your education.....lol!
[rebelmouse-image 18355847 is_animated_gif=I used to work at Walmart while I was in college, and they refused to schedule my shifts around my classes. When I confronted my manager about this he basically told me tough s*** and that working at Walmart was more important than my education.
Show them who's boss
[rebelmouse-image 18355849 is_animated_gif=I was working as a cashier in a grocery store. One night after I counted down my drawer and did the deposit, the manager pulled me aside and claimed that my drawer had been short a few times in the last few weeks. They straight up accused me of stealing $20 on a few occasions, and threatened to fire me. Quite literally they said to shape up because there are several people out there looking for (my) job - so I took off my apron and threw it at my manager, told them to get on the phone and start calling all those people because the job is now open.
It's a teacher's job to leave a lasting impression and set a good example for their students.
With this in mind, particularly in this age of viral videos and social media, teachers have to be very careful of what they say during class hours.
Even so, there are very few teachers who haven't said something they've regretted when teaching a class.
Sometimes to control unruly students, other times when they've simply had enough.
Then too, sometimes teachers leave their students baffled and perplexed by what they say in their classroom, well aware of what they were saying.
Always making for a memorable story.
"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
Wait what?!
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattz
get out GIFGiphyIt's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswers
of montreal dancing GIF by Polyvinyl RecordsGiphyEveryone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
Well, Then...
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
Sad Premonitions
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.
People Who've Had A Serious Illness Describe The Exact Moment They Knew Something Was Really Wrong
As a kid, I never raised alarm bells even when I started to feel sick. My mom got stressed easily and was busy taking care of my younger brother, so I never wanted to be a burden by making her take me to the doctor only to find out nothing was wrong.
However, in fifth grade, my ears started to hurt and I knew something was wrong. I told my mom, she took me to the doctor, and I found out I had an ear infection.
Now, an ear infection isn't serious at all, and it was easily treatable. Still, I learned something from that experience: no one knows your body better than you. You know if and when you're sick and how serious it is, even if you don't now exactly what is wrong.
Redditors can corroborate this. Many of them have experienced symptoms that told them they were sick in some way -- usually with a very serious illness -- and are ready to share those experiences.
It all started when Redditor thelearner18 asked:
"People who have had a serious disease (cancer, MS, organ failure, etc) when did you realize something was really wrong?"
A Lesson Learned
"Hust found out i have rectal cancer. 42 yrs old. multiple stools per day, not fully emptying, thin poop. so got a colonoscopy. bam! cancer. starting chemo next week. lesson learned for everyone....if your stools or stool schedule changes, go see a doctor"
– shawngee03
A Lucky Break
"I had been having a lot of pain in my midsection, and all around my torso for several weeks. I went to the doctor and it was dismissed as gynecological cramping (menopausal?). It remained. After several weeks (6-8) I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to emergency in the middle of the night. I got a CT scan that showed a large kidney stone. They also found a mass on my ovary. The kidney stone lead them to finding a rare ovarian cancer. If not for that stone, I wouldn’t have known about the cancer and might not have caught it in time. I have been in remission since September 2021."
– peachsqueeze66
Cause For Concern
"My kid, who was 14 at the time, kept throwing up in the morning and having weird headaches. Her doctor thought it was migraines. She went back a couple of times, but the doctor was not concerned. Then one day she complained of a whooshing noise in her ear. Went to the children’s hospital and found out it was a brain tumor near her cerabellum. She was in ICU for a month, but turned out it was non cancerous and it never grew back. She is doing great now."
– Evilelfqueen
"I heard a whooshing noise in my ear a few years ago I only really heard it at night when it was quiet it would sometimes switch ears now I basically never hear it. I'm pretty sure it was just pulsatile tinnitus but still scary."
– fallen-summer
It Was The Salt
"I have Cystic Fibrosis (terminal lung disease) and it was found out when I didn't sh*t for 3 days after I was born and then my mother gave me a kiss and said I tasted REALLY salty."
"Now I'm on a gene modification drug called Trikafta and this is some serious witch craft a** sh*t because I no longer feel sick to death and I basically feel like a normal person. It's f*cking wild!
"Went from 19% lung function to 87% in 3 months. I no longer cough my a** off or feel like I'm suffocating from mucus. Go science!"
– Sudden_Blueberry_477
A Funky Optic Nerve
"I was diagnosed with MS when I was 22 after having blurred vision in one eye after a ski trip. I went to the optometrist and they said I had a dry eye probably from not wearing goggles while snow boarding. So they gave me steroid drops. After a week it kept getting worse, so I went back and they told me my eye looked much better so they did a field of view test, which showed I couldn’t see anything out of the lower half of one eye. They sent me straight to the emergency room since nothing was wrong physically wrong with my eye. They did some tests and I was diagnosed with MS and ended up going completely blind in one eye. My vision eventually came back and I got on medication within a month so haven’t really had any symptoms or issues since thankfully. I’m only 29 now though."
– johnjohn9312
Caught It In Time
"This isn't me, but this happened to my best friend VERY recently. Like in the last couple of months."
"Was perfectly fine and healthy one day. Then the next he started feeling a little bit of pain in his kidney. He'd had kidney stones before, so he figured it was that again. Then he started peeing blood. He thought it was still part of the kidney stone thing so let it go for a couple days, but he was still peeing blood and the pain was getting worse."
"That's when he decided to go to the doctor. They did an X-ray and found a mass in his kidney and told him that based on where it was located they can't remove the mass, and they can't do a partial kidney removal, and it's about a 90% chance it's cancerous, but they wouldn't be able to do a biopsy without removing the kidney first. They did the whole insurance dance, but it went fast and within two weeks he was in surgery having his kidney removed."
"He's still recovering at home right now, but they got the biopsy results last week. It was indeed cancerous, but they caught it before it spread."
– SweetCosmicPope
Happily Ever After
"I couldn’t walk anymore with my crutch I had been using to get by. Had Been on Percocet for 8 months because of the extreme pain. Nobody was finding answers to my pain but I knew something was wrong, badly. After finally having an ultra sound on my hips at the age of 26 I found out I had to undergo a double hip replacement to walk again due to a serious rare disease. I was stage 4 Avascular Nercrosis. Took a year to recover from both. But Happier ending, I’m doing good now. However it was very very upsetting news to get over a phone call at 26."
– heartpathetic
It Really Sneaks Around
"My wife started getting numbness in her right arm. The breast cancer had spread to her right shoulder and the tumor was crushing the nerves. She has stage four breast cancer in her bones."
– zenos_dog
A Turn For The Worse
"For me, it started May 14, 2014. I went to work and was having a good morning. Then, at about 9:00 in the morning or so, I started to feel some lower abdominal pain. Not to be crude, but it felt like that cramp you get when you really need to go to the bathroom. I did so, but the pain didn't go away. It got worse. I started to feel chills, was sweating, and felt nauseated. My employer has a clinic on site, so I went there. After some poking and prodding, the nurse asked me if I wanted to go home or if I wanted to go to the emergency room. I decided to go home, and if the pain didn't subside, then I'd go to the emergency room. As I was saying that, though, I noticed that my pain had gotten a LOT worse. They always make you rate your pain on a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being no pain at all and 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt. When I went into the clinic, I was mostly uncomfortable, maybe a high 2 going into a 3. On that very subjective scale, I was now a 6 or a 7."
"I changed my mind and decided to go straight to the nearest emergency room. My boss drove me, and by the time we got there about 15 minutes later, I was now a 10. This was the worst pain I'd ever felt. My previous definition of the worst pain I'd ever felt was when I broke 7 bones in my wrist, it was misdiagnosed as a sprain, and I had to have them rebroken 2 weeks later. The pain in my abdomen was now worse than that. The emergency room admitted me and put me in a wheelchair. They wheeled me to a room, I curled up on the bed they put me in, and passed out."
"At some point, a nurse came in and gave me some morphine. Great stuff. No pain at all anymore. A doctor came in and told me they suspected a kidney stone. He wanted me to get a CT scan to confirm it, and I agreed. An orderly wheeled me off to imaging. I got scanned without contrast and was wheeled back to the room. My wife had arrived while I was getting scanned. Shortly later, the doctor who told me he thought it was a kidney stone came into the room. With another doctor. And two nurses. They all crowd around me with solemn looks on their faces."
"The first doctor told me it was a kidney stone. A 2 to 3 mm kidney stone had been lodged in the ureter of my left kidney. That's the tube that goes from the kidney to the bladder. It passed into my bladder when they gave me the morphine, but they could see evidence of it on the CT scan. Then the other doctor said they were more concerned about the 6 cm mass they found on my right kidney. They had my attention."
"They did another CT scan, with contrast this time, and it was impossible to see anything but a tumor in the pictures they showed me. They made an appointment for me with a urologist for the next day, as well as an appointment in a few days time to get it biopsied. It was an after-hours appointment for the urologist, but he was nice enough to stay late to see me. He looked at the CT Scans and cancelled my appointment to get it biopsied. He said there was nothing else it could be but cancer, and the kidney would have to go."
"Two months later, I had the kidney and the tumor removed laparoscopically. I was incredibly lucky. They caught it in stage 1. The doctor said there were signs it was going to start moving soon. I have no idea how doctors can look at a softball sized lump of cancer and tell anything other than 'gross', but that's why they're the doctors and I'm not."
"My recovery was smooth, and I've been cancer-free for 9 years. I was incredibly blessed. I didn't have to deal with chemo, or radiation. While those can save your life, they are also horrible experiences with nasty side effects. I didn't have to deal with any of them. I was bracing myself to have to. They said it was a possibility. But I didn't. I have every respect for those not as fortunate as me, and wish them all the best in recovery."
– mnementh9999
Reason #5,622 To Start Exercising
"I started jogging again to try and get back into running shape. I kept noticing that just after a mile or so, I'd stop and get REALLY lightheaded. Kept thinking, "oh, I'm really out of shape" and kept going. Went in a few weeks later for my annual physical and doctor said "you ever been told you have a heart murmur?", no. Two months later I spent Christmas of 2017 in the ICU after having a section of my aorta cut out and a new valve put in. Surgeon said it was bad. Said it wouldn't have made it too much longer."
"Edit: for clarification, it was an aortic dissection."
– Itsawlinthereflexes
Slow And Steady
"My dad's friend went on a hike with a doctor who knew him and he was winded not far from the car. The doctor clocked it right away and told him to get his heart checked. He had 98% blockage in his heart arteries."
"He tells my dad so my dad gets the test to see how his arteries are doing and they found a massive aneurism on his aorta. He is getting it removed tomorrow. He had no symptoms but the doctors said if he had overdone it he would be dead before anyone would even know what was going on. Crazy how a random friend's hike may have saved his life."
– Pencilowner
It Takes A Village
"I never did, my teacher and parents did."
"I was seven, usually an active kid and my first grade teacher noticed that rather than running around at recess I sat down and took a nap. It happened a couple more times and after I fell asleep in class (totally out of character), she gave my parents a call, we had been visiting the doc fairly regularly cause I was also complaining of joint pain and frequent ear infections combined with the new symptoms and a new doc at the practice I was finally diagnosed with leukemia."
– greenmachine11235
Thank goodness for that teacher (and of course, the parents)!
When in the beginning stages of dating, it's important to know as much as humanly possible.
The element of surprise is no longer a fun aspect of romance.
Ask the small questions. Ask the hard questions.
Interrogate. Grill. Investigate.
Of course, you should do it with a subtle hand instead of an interrogation lamp.
The truth is all we have.
Ask everything.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
As much as we always hop for our dating efforts to be worth it and for every relationship to work out, we all know that some relationships are not destined to work out.
But sometimes relationships end for totally valid reasons, and sometimes the reasons are painful, if not devastating.
Redditor overIorded asked:
"What went wrong with your last partner?"
History Repeating Itself
"He cheated on me. And I was glad because that was finally reason enough to allow myself to leave."
"Now I know somebody who's in the same situation. They're trapped. And she's such a gentle and fun person who's afraid to leave him because 'well, it's always been like this, I'm used to it,' and 'I deserve it.'"
"She wants to leave him, she knows she should leave him, but it's so hard to do it, and I know that feeling."
"I'm thinking I should give her my phone number like when the day comes you've had enough, I'll gladly come to help you move out from that s**thole."
- NmlsFool
Mental Health Struggles
"I'm lost in my own trauma and mental illness and he deserves better than anything I have to offer right now."
- Last-Celery7146
"I’ve been on the receiving end of this, and mildly said, it absolutely ruined me. Her trauma and mental problems were BAD, but I still wanted to be with them. So if you ask me, as long as they can give you the space and support you need, and want to be with you, let them make the decision."
- emilersen
"It's also fair and mature to care very much about someone but realize that you only have the emotional bandwidth to take care of yourself right now."
"I'm sure it was very hard for both of you to come to terms with that decision. I don't think it's that he deserves better, I think it's that your attention needs to be on guiding yourself through this thicket of trauma and mental illness before you can be someone else's partner. You can love each other very much but also acknowledge that you don't have the tools to spare for a relationship right now."
"I'm proud of you for focusing on your own mental health and someday, when you have more emotional stability and energy, I hope you find a wonderful partner."
- SpoonAtKnifeFight
Relationship Styles
"We disagreed on how many women he was allowed to date. I’m very strong on monogamy and have no interest in someone (in a supposedly committed relationship) that isn’t."
- Altrano
At Least There's That
"Her psychotic brother tried to kill me. Thankfully he has a Stormtrooper's aim..."
- Active-Plate7939
"Hate the attempted murder, love the 'Star Wars' reference."
- letmetellyousom
Childfree Living
"He wanted a big family, like, six kids, all-natural. Obviously, he wouldn't be birthing them. This was very important to him while I was pretty ambivalent about kids, and the further into my adulthood I've gotten, the more I've realized I just don't want to be pregnant."
"I broke it off so we could both get the lives we wanted. He was also quite a bit more conservative than me, and at the time closeted pansexual person, and some stuff he believed just didn't line up with what I believed. It hurt, but it was amicable."
"Now he has a wife and kids like he wanted, and I am happily partnered and childfree. It worked out for the best."
- Free-Government5162
Family Ties
"She hated that I had a healthy relationship with my family and was trying to find ways to sabotage it."
- Cobra-Serpentress
"Similar aspect to mine, she hated my sister and mother because she had a bad relationship with her sister and mother. She would get mad at me whenever I brought my family up."
- letmetellyousom
Quality Time
"My last boyfriend dumped me because I got mad that he was coming to Dallas after I hadn't seen him for two months, but didn't want to see me."
"He was going to meet up with some friends of his he hadn't seen in a few months. I told him that was fine with me, but I felt he should make time to see me too since we hadn't seen each other in two months and we were supposed to be a couple."
"He responded to my anger by ghosting me. That was two years ago."
- dallasmysterylover
Distracted with a Punch
"A girl contacted me about him talking to her. I asked him what was going on, and he sucker-punched me in the face."
- Brilliant-Victory128
Projecting Insecurities
"He cheated on me for all six years we were together and then accused me of cheating on him, even though I wasn't allowed to leave the house."
"I'm also pretty sure he slept with my sister-in-law when my brother and I went to pick up dinner."
- Affectionate_Egg1252
Children Come First
"He was and still is no father to his kids, has anger issues, and probably has other mental health issues. I tried for years to help him and help the relationship, but he wasn't having it. After seeing how my oldest suffered under him, I had to leave."
- rintan13
Poor Communication
"I communicated how I felt about many things in the relationship. He never communicated about anything."
- aj_oof0323
"Oh look, it's the last 14 years of my life..."
- empathetic111
"I'm guilty of this, and boy, do I regret not being able to open up about my feelings. It cost me my marriage. But now I'm trying to be more open and share my thoughts and feelings. Just wished I could've done this earlier than later."
Deserving Better
"I started drinking again and became a miserable a**hole due to my own depression and my s**tty job. As such, she didn't get the attention she deserved, and had to put up with my s**tty mood all the time... so she left. I don't blame her."
"So, it was me. I don't know if I trust myself with a relationship again, but aside from the shame of knowing I hurt someone who I loved, and loved me back, but I was too self-absorbed and selfish, I am trying to be a better human to everyone."
"And to my ex: You'll find someone again... someone better."
- cracksintheegg
Big Moves
"He wanted to move to Alaska to be with some girl he was 'friends' with before me."
- dont_be_trash
Alzheimer's Disease
"My ex's early-onset Alzheimers (at the age of 50) and the resulting violence, paranoia, and irrational thinking. I tried to honor my vows, but he was so far out there, I feared for my life."
- No_Transportation258
Different Definitions of Marriage
"She cheated on me after five years total together, the last one of which was while we were engaged. She cheated on me for months, all while I was planning the wedding, working part-time, and going to graduate school so I can support us comfortably in the future."
"I planned on giving her everything I could and sharing the rest of my life with her, and apparently she didn’t care."
- Mountaingoat1001
This conversation just goes to show that relationships can end for all kinds of reasons. Even in relationships where there is still a lot of love and committment, the relationship can still end, just like how the relationship can end suddenly because of a surprising and devastating realization.