People Reveal The Strangest Proverbs That Always Confused Them
[rebelmouse-image 18355346 is_animated_gif=The English language is finicky to the uninitiated. Just think hard about the words "heart," beard," and "heard," and try not to get too angry. Sometimes, though, our metaphors and phrasings can be a bit infuriating when you try to understand their meaning. Some meanings are probably lost to time. Reddit user, r/suchSuAg, asked the following to find out the most confusing and infuriating proverbs:
What proverb or saying has never made sense to you?
When In Rome...Wait, What?
[rebelmouse-image 18355347 is_animated_gif="Its all Greek to me".
I'm greek- for years I thought it meant, "makes sense".
Why Not Pepper?
[rebelmouse-image 18347290 is_animated_gif=Take it with a grain of salt.
Huh?
You Would Think It'd Be Sticky
[rebelmouse-image 18355349 is_animated_gif="The proof is in the pudding"
I always loved that saying, even though I don't usually say... I think it's kinda funny/weird
What Happens When Proverbs Contradict One Another
[rebelmouse-image 18349192 is_animated_gif=If winners never quit...
And quitters never win...
Then whose bright idea was it to quit while you're ahead.
Those Crazy Aussies...
[rebelmouse-image 18355350 is_animated_gif="We're not here to f-ck spiders" heard this one from some Aussies when backpacking.
I always use it now but have no clue what it really means.
"You guys want another beer?" "Well we're not here to f-ck spiders!"
And we drank...
When The Phrase Contradicts Itself
[rebelmouse-image 18355351 is_animated_gif="Slept like a baby" to describe a good night's sleep.
Have you ever met a baby? They're atrocious sleepers.
How Would That Even Work In The Bathroom?
[rebelmouse-image 18355352 is_animated_gif=A guy I worked with used to tell people they talked like a man with a paper asshole.
Also never knew what it meant but loved it.
Logically, This Makes The Most Sense
[rebelmouse-image 18355353 is_animated_gif="Drive it like you stole it."
You mean 5 under the speed limit obeying all laws to avoid getting noticed?
Witches With A Serious Skin Condition
[rebelmouse-image 18355355 is_animated_gif=My mum breaks out "it's as (insert word here) as a witch's tit" on the regular. She'll switch between "it's as dry as a witch's tit" in summer, "I'm as dry as a witch's tit" when thirsty, "it's as cold as a witch's tit" or "it's as hot as a witch's tit".
I don't know what witches she's been hanging around with but she knows their tits well.
Even The Welsh Do It
[rebelmouse-image 18349255 is_animated_gif="Putting the violin in the roof" = Welsh saying meaning "giving up"
"Over the dishes" = another Welsh saying meaning "over the top"
Mind you, I'm not surprised coming from the country who refer to a microwave as a "popty-ping"...
This Paints A Depressing Love Life
[rebelmouse-image 18355356 is_animated_gif="All's fair in love and war."
My exes would disagree with the former. The Geneva Conventions would disagree with the latter.
There's Definitely A Good Scar Story Here
[rebelmouse-image 18348338 is_animated_gif="A barking dog never bites"
.... unfortunately I know for a fact thats not true
More Animal Cruelty
[rebelmouse-image 18355357 is_animated_gif=There's more than one way to skin a cat.
What the f-ck? Who came up with this? Why would you skin a cat to begin with?
Clearly, They've Never Met Mr. Ed
[rebelmouse-image 18355358 is_animated_gif=Straight from the horse's mouth.
Horses don't talk.
The phrase originated in horse racing. People were constantly trying to figure out which horse was going to win, and bandying tips from more and more informed sources: "I heard it from the stableboy/I heard it from the trainer/I heard it from the jockey that such and such horse is going to win."
The best source is obviously the horse itself, thus "Straight from the horses mouth."
Another Saying Contradicting Itself
[rebelmouse-image 18355359 is_animated_gif="Needless to say" followed by saying the thing that's needless to say.
Ever Hear Of Amputation?
[rebelmouse-image 18355360 is_animated_gif="What doesn't kill you makes your stronger"
A stroke may not kill you but you sure as hell won't be stronger after it.
Why Not Save Ten?
[rebelmouse-image 18355362 is_animated_gif="A stitch in time saves nine".
I get it now. but for the longest time I didn't understand how or why anyone would apply a stitch to time. Time is a concept, not a tangible thing that you can physically mend with needle and thread. Also....who the hell is "nine" and why would stitching time save them.
Then I realized the adage was saying, euphemistically:
"one stitch in something which needs repair will prevent future degradation of the item in question, which would require more repair later."
My way of saying it is catchier...just sayin'
Turns Out, Money Isn't The Root Of All Evil
[rebelmouse-image 18355363 is_animated_gif=Money can't buy happiness
you ever seen anyone sad on a jetski?
Most These Have Been Ranked Very Disturbingly
[rebelmouse-image 18355365 is_animated_gif=Blowing smoke up someone's a**
What The Devil Does On His Own Time Is His Own Business
[rebelmouse-image 18355366 is_animated_gif="The devil is beating his wife" an old saying for when it rains while the sun is shining.
I find this expression soo creepy.
And The Worst-Best Proverb Is...
[rebelmouse-image 18355367 is_animated_gif="You've made your bed. Now you have to lie in it."
But.... I just made it, though.
H/T: Reddit
Things Left-Handed People Deal With That Right-Handed People Never Do
Reddit user johnnyportillo95 asked: 'What’s something left handed people have to deal with that right handed people wouldn’t even think about?'
Many of us who are right-handed never even think about how the world is designed to cater to us.
It probably doesn't even cross your mind that 10% of the world's population is left-handed.
Because of this, there tends to be a stigma for being left-handed since society tends to associate the left with negative things.
For example, the phrase "two left feet" applies to those who are clumsy and therefore, incapable of dancing.
Curious to hear more about the challenges facing those with the other dominant hand, Redditor johnnyportillo95 asked:
"What’s something left-handed people have to deal with that right-handed people wouldn’t even think about?"
If only manufacturers appealed to an ambidextrous world.
Furniture Obstacle
"Those desks or couch chairs that have a small desk attached. They do make left handed/sided ones but they are few and far between."
– Prussian__Princess
"And they’re only on one side of the lecture hall, and it’s never a good seat. There is ONE front row, lefty desk in the entire room and it’s in the far corner, obscured by an ancient overhead projector."
– earwighoney
Everyday Objects For Everyday People
"as a left-handed person myself, one thing we often deal with is finding left-handed tools or equipment. many everyday objects, like scissors or can openers, are designed with right-handed people in mind, which can make certain tasks a bit more challenging for us lefties. we also have to adapt to a right-handed world when it comes to writing on whiteboards or using certain computer mice."
– J0rdan_24
Dangerous Tools
"The biggest risk is power tools. I taught myself to use all power tools right handed because of risks using them left handed."
"Trivial, I love dry boards but they are super hard to write on."
– diegojones4
It's hard to play when you're born with a physical disadvantage.
Sports Disadvantage
"Allright, Sports when you are young. Every demonstration from PE teachers are right handed. You cant just copy the movements they teach you you need to flip them and your tiny brain struggoes to process it. As well, 98% of the cheap sports equipment the school uses is right handed."
– AjCheeze
No Future In Softball
"I tried to bat right handed for so long in gym class growing up because the gym teacher never asked me what my dominant side was and the thought never occurred to me as a child to mention it! Needless to say I never became a softball star."
– Leftover-Cheese
Find A Glove That Fits
"In softball and baseball we need a specific glove for our right hand that's often impossible to find unless you own one, and we have to bat on the other side of the plate."
– BowlerSea1569
"I was one of two left-handers in a 4-team Little League in the 1980s. Nobody could pitch to me. I got a lot of "hit by pitch" walks out of it."
– Jef_Wheaton
These examples are understandably annoying.
Shocking Observation
"Having right handed people make comments whenever they see us write, like we’re some kind of alien."
– UsefulIdiot85
"'Woah! You're left-handed????'"
"I find myself noticing when someone is a lefty, and sometimes I comment on it, but I try not to. I'm primarily left-handed (im a right handed wroter but do everything else left), and every single time I go to eat with my family, someone says, "Oh hey, give SilverGladiolus22 the left hand spot, they're left-handed," and inevitably someone says, 'Wait, really?' Lol."
– SilverGladiolus22
Can't Admire The Mug
"We never get to look at the cute graphics on coffee mugs while we’re drinking from them."
– vanetti
"I just realized…I always thought the graphics were made so someone else could read them while you drink. Hmmm."
– Bubbly-Anteater7345
"I'm right-handed and I often wondered why the graphics were turned towards the drinker instead of out for others to see."
– Material-Imagination
The Writing On The Wall
"Writing on whiteboards is a nightmare. I have to float my hand, which tires out my arm quickly, and I can't see what I've already written to keep the line straight."
– darkjedi39
"Also as a teacher, it means I'm standing to the left of where I'm writing, so I'm blocking everything I write. I have to frequently finish writing, then step out of the way so people can see, instead of just being able to stand on the right side the whole time."
– dancingbanana123
Immeasurable
"Rulers."
"How the f'k is no one talking about rulers? It's from 30cm to 0 cm to me, or I have to twist my arms to know the measure I want to trace over it."
– fourangers
Just Can't Win
"EVERYTHING. The world has always been based around people being right handed. As a Chef, my knife skills SUCKED until I worked with a Left Handed Chef. Then it all made sense."
"Literally, everything we do must be observed, then flipped around in our heads, then executed. This is why Lefties die sooner, on average, than Righties."
"I had to learn how to be ambidextrous, just to complete basic tasks (sports, driving a manual, using scissors, etc). I am used to it now, and do many things right handed out of necessity, as wall as parents and teachers 'forcing' it upon me."
"But, at least we are not put to death anymore, simply for using the wrong hand (look it up, it happened)."
"Ole Righty, always keeping us down."
– igenus44
The world doesn't need another demographic to feel "othered" for being different.
But if you're right-handed and tend to make assumptions about left-handed people, you may want to observe the following.
Ronald Yeo, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Texas-Austin told CNN:
"We shouldn’t assume much about people’s personalities or health just because of the hand they write with."
"And we certainly shouldn’t worry about lefties’ chances of success: After all (as of 2015), five of our last seven U.S. presidents have been either left- or mixed-handed."
Word.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen GiphyWhat Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost GiphyWho Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF Giphy
Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official Giphy
Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.
Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.
But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.
However not everyone feels that way about their job.
So what are these compelling careers?
Reddit user BITE_AU_CHOCOLAT asked:
"People who wouldn't quit their job even if you won the lottery, what's your job?"
Cup Of Joe
"Barista is my main regular job."
"I f*cking love it."
"I love being able to talk to people all day and making cute little swans or whatever in people's drinks."
~ Low_Perception9046
Cleaning Up
"Janitor."
"Hours are good, work is easy, people are mostly nice."
"Something to keep me busy."
~ IHate2ChooseUserName
Fun With Chemistry
"I develop chemical sensors."
"I would buy the company and work half time."
"The joy of solving the types of problems that come up is fun."
~ BadDadWhy
Helping Children
"When I win the lottery I’ll still work but I’ll probably go to part time."
"I work with children with special needs—my job is rewarding and special."
"I love working with kids."
"Plus I’m too young to 'retire' and not work, I’ll get bored."
~ No-Section3226
Doing Dos
"I do hair."
"Love it!"
"Gives me purpose."
~ Hyperboleballad
Feeding The Hungry
"I'm actually a chef at my local homeless shelter."
"My dream job, even with an advanced degree."
"I'd not quit this if I won 3 lotteries."
"I would, however, cut a fat check to my organization and my sister organizations."
~ subwooferofthehose
Angel Of Mercy
"Nursing."
"I kind of still like it."
"I'd probably back off to part time if I won big."
~ LadyVaresa
Sweet Beats
"I'm a musician."
"Basically I have what for most people is a dream job, which makes me a non-representative specimen."
"On the other hand, I still occasionally work as a paramedic, and as rewarding as that job can be, I'm mostly doing it when I want to grab some extra cash."
"I'd probably let my certs expire if I was rich."
~ loose_lady_lutenist
Healing
"I'm a doctor."
"A great portion of my income is already donated to my hospital's program that expands access to low-income patients."
"I'd probably give 100% of my income to the program if I won and use the lottery winnings for living."
~ Shiblets
DIY
"I recondition (light remodeling) apartments after tenants move out."
"I’m alone all day and I can listen to podcasts or books, the work is very satisfying to me, and as a woman I’ve loved learning HVAC, plumbing, and electrical work as I use the experience in my own home when things break/need updating."
"I would go crazy without working anyway but I really do love my job."
~ Dependent-Bass-2043
All Creatures Great And Small
"Kennel attendant."
"I’ll never willingly turn my back on these animals."
~ RathGodofWar
No Business Like Show Business
"I’m the Assistant Director for a Children’s Theatre."
"It’s really not something you do for the money."
"You do it because you love it and can’t imagine your life without it."
~ RamblingsOfaMadCat
Fostering Futures
"I work in addiction recovery."
"It means a lot to me."
"I wouldn’t quit if I won the lottery, but I would go part time."
~ randtcouple
A Stitch In Time
"I teach people how to sew, mostly kids but we have a few adult classes as well."
"It is stressful but also so rewarding to see a room full of people who have learned a skill from you and can take home a bunch of goodies."
"Sewing is a dying skill so we need to teach it more!"
~ Interesting-Chest520
Saving Lives
"National Suicide Prevention Lifeline."
"I love the job. It’s stressful at times but also very rewarding."
~ MaryKathGallagher
Many people stated they might cut back to part-time or donate their salary, but a significant number of people had no plans to stop working.
However some would change their job focus or profession.
So, would you keep working after a lottery win?