Some people really do find love in hopeless places -- really unexpected places. Move over, church bake sale. Falling through someone's ceiling and then for them, for example, or dating the person who power-washed your intestines are just a couple of random ways people have started a relationship.
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
In high school I had a summer job insulating houses. One day I was helping spray insulation in a homeowners attic and fell through the ceiling into the homeowner's daughter's room.
Between busting my butt and getting berated by my boss, I was really embarrassed. The daughter noticed I was pretty down on myself and went out of her way to be nice to me.
Long story short, we ended up dating for about a year before heading off to college.
Had a choice of a baseball game or party. Wanted to go to the game but made a promise to go to the party. Wasn't in the best of moods.
Go to get a beer and a girl comes up to the keg, I hold out the tap to fill her cup and she says in a non-talkative way, thanks.
I say, you seem to want to be here as much as I do. She apologized and we mentioned why we were there and why we didn't want to be. Ended up talking the whole time and got together with her friends later that evening.
Spent everyday together after that. Dated, moved in together, got married and had a son.
10 years to the day we met she filed for divorce.
Should have gone to the damn baseball game.
Sometimes life points you in the right direction.
My current partner chopped her finger off at work and I took her to hospital and hung out for eight hours while they reattached her finger then took her home to make sure she was okay. We've been together two years now and she has no visible scarring from the surgery. We just kinda clicked.
So you got her digits?!
At least it was only a phone call and not an erroneous nude...
Wrong phone number. A girl apparently gave him a fake number at a bar the night before, and that turned out to be my number. We only dated for a few months, but it's a funny story either way.
My uncle married a wrong phone number. He called, it was the wrong number (it was the salon she worked at) and they chatted for a few minutes. He enjoyed their conversation so much that he decided to stop by the salon and say hi in person and they chatted some more. He asked her on a date, she said yes, and now they're married.
I met my wife before a college English class. It was an 8 A.M. class and the teacher was super late, so we were all waiting outside the door. I was absentmindedly humming along to "The Ocean" by Led Zeppelin when she turns around to me and says, "Hey, is that Led Zeppelin?"
I said, "Yeah!"
She said, "Oh cool. Well, you gotta shut up. I'm hungover as hell." And then she turned back around.
I used to tell people that she hit me with her car.
Which was true. Technically.
I was stopped at a traffic light on my motorbike and she was stopped behind me. Her car rolled forward, bumped my bike, which jolted it forward. This caught me by surprise and the entire thing ended with my bike falling over. No big deal.
She was extremely apologetic, and worried that I might take legal action or that she had damaged my bike in some way. So she offered to buy me a coffee in apology and it went from there.
edit: I was wearing a full-face helmet, so I doubt it was planned. And it only lasted six months back in ~2009.
So many questions.
In high school my now husband was stabbing plastic utensils into an apple, I told him it looked nice and he told me to f*ck off.
Edit: Wow this got popular! I'm glad that my awkward relationship story could make some people laugh, it's a cherished memory that I don't think I'll ever forget and it makes a hell of a great conversation starter for "how did you two meet?"
Clearly the ethics courses didn't take.
I found a desert tortoise wandering down the sidewalk. So I went door to door trying to find its owner. Cute guy answers door, gets me a box, we find the owner together. We got married a year later.
Buuuuut then while paying for his Ph.D. in ethics, he's busy hammering hookers while I traveled for work... to pay for his Ph.D. One divorce and 10 years later I'm still stuck with his student loans on my credit report and HPV to boot. NEXT TIME JUST KEEP THE DAMN TORTOISE.
I met my wife at an ad hoc party thrown by two roommates who hadn't told the other that their friends were coming over. So both groups of about 5 people showed up just expecting to hang out, and it turned into 10 people jammed into a small apartment laughing and drinking.
She saw his inner beauty.
I went in for a colon cleanse on a dare with a friend, and it ended up in a date with the girl inserting the water tube and performing the flushing.
Pass the BOTtle
4 years ago, my friend introduced me to a game app, the kind you play with your Facebook friends. After a while, she lost interest in it, so I decided to play with a "random opponent". I got matched to some guy from Europe and we played the game for a week before he messaged me on the chat function "Hey, are you real?" because he wasn't sure if he was playing with a bot. We hit it off and he ended up moving to my country to be with me :)
I had a full-time job at a biotech company, but also a part-time job at a magazine. The magazine didn't do direct deposit so I had them send my checks to the biotech company. One month I didn't get my magazine check, and the head of billing at the biotech emails me and asks me to come to her office.
The biotech was somehow able to deposit my magazine money that month into their own account, and the head of billing asked me why I was receiving money from some magazine, what I did for them, what the magazine was. All this with the door to her office open.
After some back and forth she says she'll cut me a check which requires a lot of paperwork on her part, and as I'm walking back to my desk downstairs, I make eye contact with a girl in the billing department.
An hour or so later the girl sends me an email because she overheard our conversation and is familiar with the magazine I worked for. We dated for a little over three years.
I was at a coffeeshop with a girl I was absolutely nuts about but only dating casually. During our conversation she cuts me off and hisses about a girl across the room I'd never seen before who was having an argument with her boyfriend.
"That's the bitch who stole my boyfriend!" girl-I-was-nuts-about said. Same guy arguing with girl-I'd-never-seen-before. Girl-I'd-never-seen-before stands up, says "I'm done", and storms off--not angrily, but calmly and confidently. Supremely poised, like she was storming out of a Henry James novel. I remember briefly thinking as she walked out the door, "that is the most regal creature I have ever seen in my life."
Girl-I-was-nuts-about huffs in pleasure about their fight. I murmur some kind of agreement in the interest of solidarity. We have a pleasant coffee date and don't go home together.
Three years later, I start managing that same coffeeshop. On my first day, girl-I'd-never-seen-before is formally introduced to me by mutual friends. It dawns on me after a moment that this was the girl from that night. This was the entire conversation:
ME: Hello. HER: Hey.
A year later, as she became a regular at the shop, we became actual friends and started hanging out. A year after that, we started dating. That was 20 years ago. She's snoring quietly beside me as I type this.
Feel The Earth Move
It was April 2010, I was travelling in Barcelona for work when the Eyjafjallajökull volcano erupted and grounded all aircraft flying to Europe. I was trapped. I did the sensible thing and went to the pub where I met 2 drunk Irish guys. Proceeded to get reasonably hammered until a girl walked in and sat beside me. She was stranded as well so we proceeded to get drunker together. Decided I should kiss her, I did, and now she is my wife. All thanks to Eyjafjallajökull.
You should name your kid Eyjafjallajökull.
Cheers To That!
Finally a question where I think I have an answer worth typing for!
Met my SO totally hungover at a 2-day beerpong tourney. I was outside talking to my friends and told them how hungover I was because of the last night. Next thing I know this beatiful blonde girl walks up to me and says: "I overheard you say you are hungover, you jsut need another beer! It helps when you are hung over! I'll pay you a round!" In Switzerland we call this the Counterbeer, yes I know sounds strange, but works!
I was so stunned by the fact, that a totally out of my league girl went up to me, told me I need a beer AND PAID FOR IT! Totally went along with it and spent the rest of the day with her.
That was over 2 years ago and I couldn't imagine a life without her anymore! She's truly the best!
So yes, met her random at a beerpong tourney! Still laughing about that.
Communication is toKYo
I met this woman on tinder 3-4 weeks before I moved to japan. Since I was moving so soon I was really hesitant to get into any sort of relationship but we were texting all day and she was really cool. When I got back from a work trip she finally got the guts to ask me to hang out, because I was avoiding it since I was moving. We ended up going to a burger joint and having the time of our lives.
Flash forward to now we've been married for 6 months and are both living in japan. Wouldn't trade it for the world.
Hope They Don't Go Ex-tinct
Pillow fight in San Francisco. I wore a child's dinosaur costume.
Wait an adult pillow fight?
Yeah, huge pillow fight ~thousand people
Have you ever been reading a book, watching a movie, or even sitting down for a fantastical cartoon and began to salivate when the characters dig into some doozy of a made up food?
You're not alone.
Food is apparently fertile ground for creativity. Authors, movie directors, and animators all can't help but put a little extra time and effort into the process of making characters' tasty delights mouthwatering even for audiences on the other side of the screen.
Read on for a perfect mixture of nostalgia and hunger.
AllWhammyNoMorals asked, "What's a fictional food you've always wanted to try?"
Some people were all about the magical foods eaten in the magical places. They couldn't help but wish they could bite into something with fantastical properties and unearthly deliciousness.
"Enchanted golden apple" -- DabbingIsSo2015
"The Minecraft eating sounds make me hungry" -- FishingHobo
"Gotta love that health regeneration" -- r2celjazz
"Pretty sure those are based off the golden apples that grant immortality. Norse mythology I think?" -- Raven_of_Blades
Take Your Pick
"Nearly any food from Charlie and the Chocolate factory" -- CrimsonFox100
"Came here to say snozzberries!" -- Utah_Writer
"Everlasting Gobstoppers #1, but also when they're free to roam near the chocolate river and the entire environment is edible." -- devo9er
"Lembas" -- Roxwords
"The one that fills you with just a bite? My fat a** would be making sandwiches with two lembas breads and putting bacon, avocado and cheese inside. Then probably go for some dessert afterwards. No wonder why those elves are all skinny, eating just one measly bite of this stuff." -- sushister
Some people got stuck on the foods they saw in the cartoons they watched growing up. The vibrant colors, the artistic sounds, and the exaggerated movements all come together to form some good-looking fake grub.
The One and Only
"Krabby patty 🍔" -- Cat_xox
"And a kelp shake" -- titsclitsntennerbits
"As a kid I always pretended burgers from McDonalds were Krabby Patties, heck from time to time I still do for the nostalgia of it all. Many of my friends did the same thing." -- Thisissuchadragtodo
"The pizza from an extremely goofy movie. The stringy cheese just looked magical lol" -- ES_Verified
"The pizza in the old TMNT cartoon as well." -- gate_of_steiner85
"Only bested by the pizza from All Dogs Go to Heaven." -- Purdaddy
Get a Big Old Chunk
"Those giant turkey drumsticks in old cartoons that characters would tear huge chunks out of. Those things looked amazing, turkey drumsticks in real life suck and are annoying to eat."
Slurp, Slurp, Slurp
"Every bowl of ramen on any anime, ever." -- Cat_xox
"Studio Ghibli eggs and bacon" -- DrManhattan_DDM
"Honestly, any food in anime. I swear to god half the budget no matter what the studio goes into making the food look absolutely delicious." -- Viridun
Finally, some highlighted the things that aren't quite so far-fetched, but still far enough away that it's nothing we'll be eating anytime soon.
That tease can be enough to make your mouth water.
What's In It??
"Butter beer" -- Damn_Dog_Inappropes
"came here to say this. i was pretty disappointed with the universal studio version which was over the top sweet. it was more of a butterscotch root beer. i imagine butter beer to be something more like butter and beer, which wouldn't be crazy sweet, but would have a very deep rich flavor" -- crazyskiingsloth
Slice of the Future
"The microwave pizzas in back to the future two" -- biggiemick91
"I've been fascinated with those for years! They just look so good!" -- skoros
As Sweet As They Had
"The Turkish Delight from Lion Witch & Wardrobe. The real ones I had weren't bad but nothing special." -- spoon_shaped_spoon
"Came here to say this. I know it's a real thing, but I always imagined that it must have been amazing to betray your siblings over." -- la_yes
"You're used to freely available too sweet sweets. For a WW2 era schoolkid, it would have represented all the sweets for an entire year." -- ResponsibleLimeade
Here's hoping you made it through the list without going into kitchen for some snack you didn't actually need.
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When a movie rakes in a ton of cash at the box office, the studio that made it has only one thing on its mind: "How do we keep shaking this money tree?"
Unfortunately, that means they make sequels, sometimes sequels on sequels on sequels.
At times, the sequels are solid. They tie nicely into the first film, emphasizing the qualities that brought folks out to the first one, while immersing them into that world for another great couple of hours.
But sometimes, it's wildly clear that the longterm planning behind a sequel was minimal at best. These part two's are truly terrible experiences, made even more disappointing by the excitement created by everyone's love for the first.
Some Redditors shared the worst examples.
Sullivans97 asked, "What is the worst movie sequel ever?"
Plenty of contributions to the thread were noteworthy simply because the Redditors' deep hatred for a sequel spurred them to write a very entertaining review.
"Son of the Mask. Worst sequel. Worst movie. Worst piece of entertainment. Worst experience to sit through as a human being."
Oddly Specific Analogy
"Independence Day: Resurgence."
"What the fu** was that giant heap of steaming camel sh**?"
Two Key Elements
"The plot is mostly driven by Mushu acting like a real piece of sh**, and Shang gets turned into the butt monkey of the movie as a consequence."
"Vastly inferior to the first one."
Just Horrible Decisions Every Step of the Way
"Where is Speed 2?"
"Speeding cruise ship (Zzzzzzz)"
"WTF were they thinking?"
Other people chose to discuss the sequels that, for whatever reason, chose not to include the key attributes that made the first movie so good.
Whether it was the absence of character, actor, or overarching theme, the experience was as puzzling as it was frustrating.
Insert Muscle Here
"Kindergarten Cop 2. Yes it does exist and it is a bad as it sounds. Dolph Lundgren takes over the role of Schwarzenegger." -- TheBassMeister
"Bro, don't be such a jabroni. Imagine, a super ripped, super smart cop-in a mesh tank top-named officer Dolph Lundgren." -- why_not_fandy
"Ugh wtf the movie was great why make another one" -- c_girl_108
"American Psycho 2. It wasn't even originally intended to be a sequel, they just shoved the name on it and added loose references to Patrick Bateman. Awful." -- Mountain_Situation89
"Mila kunas who is in it was told it was a different name and was pissed when they ended up making it a 'sequel' " -- Imfrank123
"Yea, that's the thing. The movie would have been a decent film if it was just a serial killer film and not an AP sequel." -- JennyBean2000
"It had some okay parts, but what they did to Justin Long's character completely undercuts the meaning of the first movie. And no Ryan Reynolds."
Last, some people realized that any film franchise that goes beyond two installments is just asking for things to go downhill in a hurry.
Once you cross three--and even four--your just too far from the source.
What Even Is Home Alone 5?
"Home Alone 3, 4, and 5" -- theWet_Bandits
"I honestly enjoyed 3, sure it made no sense at all, but I can look past that and really enjoyed it. 4 and 5 on the other hand, I barely remember what 4 was about and had completely forgotten that 5 existed until just now." -- botbattler30
End of the Mummy Era
"The third Mummy movie." -- goshawkgirl
"Fun fact: The trailer for Mummy 3 has Brendan Fraser saying "here we go again" and Ben Stiller thought that line was ironically hilarious in terms of cranking out soulless sequels and it inspired the 'here we go again....again' line in the fake trailers at the beginning of Tropic Thunder." -- Call_Me_Koala
Part of the Reboot Frenzy
"Not to repeat others here (hopefully), but the 4th Indiana Jones movie should never have been made."
"For what it is worth, The odd numbers are great, the even numbers are terrible with the last one being one being Steven Segal bad."
So there you have it. A full list of movies to avoid at all costs no matter how bored you are flicking through Netflix lists.
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Oftentimes I like to do my best Ghostface impression and aggressively ask people what their favorite scary movies are. Because I personally have a lot! At the same time, I'm also terrified that at any point, I could end up getting my head punched off by Jason Vorhees (Part 8 of the series--best one IMO).
Real life contains the scariest horrors you could ask for. So aren't we all living in a horror movie, in a way? At least, these people sure freakin' were.
In the words of the legendary Mary Vivian Pierce in the film Pink Flamingos, “Murder merely relieves tension”. I’m sure the following Redditors felt differently.
Nothing scarier than the woods at night.
Went into a real deep woods hike for only the second time in my life.
My gps broke and had to rely on my compass. Got turned around a few times because I couldn't remember the direction I came from, and it was getting dark. Lost the trail way.
But the woods are weirdly silent in the dark and alone.
It was around 2am by the time I found the trailhead.
Darn foxes.the simpsons react GIFGiphy
My friend and I got lost late on one foggy night in the Italian countryside. There were rats all over and every once in a while we heard someone scream.
I've never been more sure I was about to get murdered than I was that night.
Could've also been a lynx, but they are much rarer in Italy.
At least she wasn’t speaking in tongues.
My mom is quite the sleep talker, but it's usually pretty short and incoherent when it happens. One night as a teenager, I woke up to her scream-yelling the Hail Mary prayer (my bedroom was across the house and upstairs).
Difficult to get back to sleep after that one.
Sometimes scary sh*t ends up just being funny coincidences. Super funny. Right?
Don’t give them any ideas.
I was exploring an abandoned mental asylum and then got the scare of my life when a scary looking person inside one of the rooms was just staring at me without moving. Turns out some joker had left a cardboard cutout there.
Don’t you hate when that happens?Evil Dead Horror GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy
I was driving home on backcountry roads at midnight in heavy fog. Like can't see 10 feet in front of you thick. Suddenly I see an all-white silhouette running in front of the car. Every hair on my body stood up. I immediately think "oh god, oh f*ck, it's a f*cking woman in white, I'm gonna f*cking die"
Nope just a drunk who dove into the ditch.
Gotta love paranoia.
When I was about 12, my parents went out for dinner leaving me home alone. We lived out in the country, on a private road with only three other houses, surrounded by cow fields and wooded areas.
I went into the the kitchen and glanced out the window towards the trees and there in the fading light I could see a person walking slowly through the woods. They were wearing all black, moving slowly and appeared to pause behind trees. My heart started pounding so hard in my ears I couldn't hear anything else and I was weak and shaky from fear. I froze and just watched them. Would they come to the house? Where were they going?
This was before cell phones but I suddenly remembered my mom had left the number of the restaurant by the living room phone. Slowly, I made my way towards the living room, trying to watch this stranger in the woods.
Just as I entered the living room, all the lights in the entire house went out. By this time it was nearly dark outside. I started openly sobbing and in the dark I heard a weird boom like noise. That was it, I ran to my parents room, hid under their bed and sobbed. That's where my mom found me hours later (it felt like).
Well, turns out the stranger in the woods was a stupid cow that had busted through a fence, the lights going out was from an accident a few miles away (hit the power line) and the boom was the pilot light in the gas stove. Man, I have never been that scared in my life though!
I have a lot of questions.
A naked man who was covered in blood chased me across a park at 2 in the morning. I was totally alone. He just wanted money for a bus (????) and luckily nothing bad happened but I thought I was going to die.
But of course, the genuine horrors do exist. And they aren’t scary in a fun horror movie way, they’re actually terrifying because they can happen to anyone.
A scary few seconds.car chase GIF by Mayans M.C.Giphy
I am a "baby" in a car seat in between cousins in backseat. Dad is driving. This is in the 80s and it is my aunt's insistence that I am in this seat even though I am like 5.
A sleeping semi driver is coming over into our lane and there is a cliff on other side. Basically my dad did some amazing driving but semi blew us up. I am uninjured sitting in the seat swinging my legs while everyone is unconscious. They all wake groaning. Dad doesnt wake up.
Long story short just minor scrapes and dad has broken leg. But the crunch of metal and those few seconds/minute of being the only "alive" person was quite fear inducing.
Glad they’re all ok now.
Two days after my now boyfriend told me he liked me he fell from a zip line and broke his back. Almost died. 6 months later he got into a car wreck from a drunk driver - almost died. 6 months after that, he passed out and had to have emergency brain surgery, again, almost died. I now have severe anxiety/separation anxiety/and ptsd. That whole year was a f*cking nightmare
Edit: we're both okay now, the brain injury was almost a year ago. But TBIs take a while to heal so he still has side effects. Thankfully our relationship is still strong; he's physically getting better and I'm healing emotionally too. Lucky for him, the trauma of the injuries has caused him to forget the majority of the pain and memories of those incidents.
ALWAYS wear a helmet.
Driving home from work at 23, listening to my favorite song.
I pull up to a red light, and see this guy on a motorcycle coming up next to me in the other lane. I rolled down my window to compliment his bike when he stops. He doesn't, and runs the red light. He hits a car going at least 55mph. His motorcycle shatters apart, he goes flying, hits the hood of another car, and lands on the ground and rolls into the curb (no helmet). The car he hit with his motorcycle was totaled. I had to step over his body to talk to the police. He was still alive when they got there. I regret not holding his hand. It was just a normal day, and all of a sudden it felt like the rug was pulled from out beneath me. He was only 18.
Edit: The song was Sunny by Boney M., for those curious
What did we learn today, kids? Foxes scream like humans, shadowy figures are usually cows or drunken rednecks, and once again, PLEASE WEAR A HELMET WHEN YOU RIDE ANY KIND OF BIKE.
Scary sh*t surrounds us. But where there is horror, there are heroes. So next time you think you see a scary figure in the woods, know that Bruce Campbell is probably right around the corner
I hate hypocrites. They are the bane of my existence. All you have to do is stand behind your words. How hard is that? You said them. I especially get peeved when people bloviate on a topic and condemn and holler but then when it comes to them doing it... silence.Redditor u/ErrForceOnes wanted to know about the moments people chose to curiously "pay no mind" by asking... What is a GIANT hypocrisy that no one seems to mind?
Hypocrisy is everywhere; it's like a disease. And sadly everyone does it. Some of us indulge in smaller doses than others. But some people live their life by it. Like how can you support civil servants, like police, firefighters, etc... yet try to find ways to hide money in order to not pay taxes? Tell me... I'll wait.
Manga...Hungry Night Court GIF by LaffGiphy
Italian moms that say you're too fat then say I'm making grandma cry by not finishing my pasta.
Celebrities positioning themselves as champions for social justice while launching a clothing line with no comment on the labor conditions their garments are made in.
The Porn Industry
Why is prostitution considered a crime, but it becomes perfectly legal once a camera is put beside them?
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
You can get away with WAY more crap, in general, when you're attractive.
But we all kind of aspire to attractiveness and it's not like it's attractive people's fault, exactly. So what is there to be done?
So true. Money and beauty are treated like virtues and they aren't. They're luck of the draw. It probably helps you to be a better person if people assume that you are gentle and clever just by looking at your face or wallet.
KIDSGIF by MOODMANGiphy
People screaming at you if you don't want Kids and Kids are the greatest thing in the World and then turn around and whine how expensive they are and how annoying yadda yadda.
Yeah see... humans are a mess. And too often then not, personal conviction and dignity are just a myth, or a punchline. Double standards have always been a way of life. And many of us have begrudgingly learned to navigate.
FashionFashion Model GIF by NYFW: The ShowsGiphy
If a skinny person wears something out of the ordinary, it's a fashion statement and awesome. It can even just be something like a crop top or overalls.
But God forbid a fat person wear the same thing.
The hypocrisy hypocrisy. People love to call it out but rarely notice it on themselves and if they notice it then it's something completely different or a distraction.
That's the worst. I hate that I have to hate that. But if I don't hate it, then the hate will just continue. So, really, my hate comes from my love of an end to hate. So anyone who hates my hate hates love. And we must hate anyone who hates love!
My own personal hypocrisy; When I was a lot less well off financially, delivering pizzas trying to get through college, I kept a cup of coins in my car. When a homeless person would approach me for spare change, I gave them the cup. Most of the time it was nearly full, so there was probably 20-30 dollars in there.
Now that I have a good salaried job, even if I've got a few bucks in my wallet, I tend to not even make eye contact anymore. I know it's awful, I know it makes me crappy, but the last 4-5 years have made me a jaded craphead towards people in general. I used to be so hopeful and I wanted to help everyone, and tried to live a life that reflected that.
Now, while my general and political morality is pretty much the same, my personal morality has gotten more grey. I'd jaded, I hate people, I assume the worst of people I used to assume the best of. I don't really care about the strangers around me like I used to, but I still expect everyone else to.
It's so freaking frustrating when it becomes entrenched. "You did this, it's your fault" "you should've known to do x, its your fault" Yeah bro your problems aren't my problems and if all you do is make excuses and blame me for them, it's not going to be my fault when you don't develop as a person and accomplish your dreams. I'm sure they'll find someone to blame though.
In D.C.Donald Trump Reaction GIF by Election 2016Giphy
Politicians work part time, are given free housing, education, and health care, and exempt from the everyday violence we experience, but refuse to lift a finger to help us.
Just speak a truth and live it. Yes, it maybe hard. But what part of life isn't? Hypocrisy is just lying. Plain and simple. And it's a sin to lie.
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