JOIN
OUR EMAIL LIST!
Vera Arsic / EyeEm / Getty Images

We never want to tell ourselves the honest truth about our "friends." We want to believe that the way they're treating us is because of how hard they have it. Typically, we'll sacrifice ourselves before cutting people loose when in reality the best thing for us is to realize that they're a bad friend and it's time for them to go.


Reddit user, u/Shaeee03, wanted to know what surefire signs to keep an eye out for when they asked:

What's one sign that implies you have a bad friend?

It's Always About Them, Never You

One sided conversations...always their drama and whining.

Wackydetective

Or drama that they caused themselves, but you don't have the nerve to say that to their faces, so you just have to nod and say. 'Yeah' while they rant for ages.

ACaffeinatedWandress

Take, Take, Take

Giphy

Takes much more than they give

lovelovemepoo

What are some good examples of "giving" to friends? And taking?

Ryzasu

Gifts, money, attention, a ride home, a place to sleep, time, etcetera.

If you don't have money to offer, you can still give attention to your friends. It doesn't need to be constant attention, of course. But just checking in on each other every now and then, random phone calls, a visit every now and then.

unavailablysingle

What's Secret Is For The World

They tell others what you asked them to keep private

cb1216

That's why you make up fake secrets to each friend to see who the mole is.

poopellar

They Only Reach Out When They Need Something

I had a "friend", who always found me when he needed something, then forget about me for a couple of months/years.
I was there for him, when his family didn't talked with him because of his gf, but he refused to talk to me, when my mom died. Eventually I cut all contact with him.

ScrapmetalSteve

Eggshells All Over The Place

You're walking on eggshells all the time around them because you're never sure what'll make them mad/set them off.

You start dreading seeing them/spending time with them.

You feel like you have to justify their presence in your life to your other friends and family.

sleepyhollow_101

They Can Never Adjust Their Schedule

Their time is more valuable than yours.

Like I have this friend that would show up to my D&D games 4 hours after everyone else because of a really stupid reason. And he later showed up at the end of my other friend's wedding because "he wanted to get some tea before coming." (He was basically the best man... even though we don't have that in our culture)

frankierabbit

"I Can Swing By For A While, But I Got A Party Afterwards..."

When they use you as a "hanging out person until someone I like more comes"

darksidefall

You Can Never Relax

If you always feel the need to impress them just to be included.

sweetsummerchild97

If You're Not Really Yourself, Then Who Are You?

Giphy

When you can't be yourself near them.

Super important to find friends who support and like you for who you are in my opinion...

Yug123321

When They Drain Your Mana Instead Of Refilling It

If you feel unhappy and exhausted after talking/ being with them, you probably shouldn't do that anymore

Seleinel

Yeah some people really just drain the emotional and mental energy out of you

eiczy

Gary Pratt/Flickr

There are few things more annoying than when you are seeking advice and someone responds with a boring platitude that helps no one. Believe it or not, if you choose to provide advice, it needs to be specific to the situation and shouldn't be dressed up in trite phrasing. Does saying, "Keep your head up" actually contribute anything if that's all you have to say when someone comes to you in search of a listening ear?

But this goes deeper than just advice, to be fair. Some of us are sick of greedy corporations that stress the importance of being a "family" while refusing to pay proper wages. Still more of us are tired of people using certain language when other language can suffice.

After Redditor BensReddits asked the online community, "What is a phrase you absolutely hate hearing?" people shared their stories.

Keep reading... Show less

Dating is difficult––and truth be told, I don't know how anyone can do it right now, what with a pandemic going on and all. Just the thought stresses me out. Dating is especially hard for people who defy expectations in a heteronormative society. Take bisexuals, for example.

Keep reading... Show less

We all know someone who really cannot figure out even the most basic thing without copious amounts of help. But when you meet someone who is completely and totally past all help, how do you even begin to try to help them get along?

Keep reading... Show less

We're all well aware of the weird, horrible, predatory things men do when attracted to women. But what about when women are the culprits?

Keep reading... Show less