The Best Pickup Lines People Have Ever Heard
Reddit user Educational-Coast304 asked: 'What’s the best pickup line you’ve ever heard?'
Meeting someone new isn't easy, especially if it's someone you want to snuggle with.
How do you say "hi" and be cool?
How do we weed out the crazies who say "hi?"
There has to be a perfect way.
Who has used some good verbiage that set you aflame?
Redditor Educational-Coast304 wanted to hear the most creative ways we've all been picked up, so they asked:
"What’s the best pickup line you’ve ever heard?"
There is no magic line for me.
But I'm a lifelong pessimist.
Let's Play
Marcus Scribner Comedy GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"When I was teaching kindergarten, one of my students (who knew I love video games) dropped this one on me..."
“'You’re pretty. You should come to my house after school and we can play Little Big Planet. My mom makes great snacks.'”
"His mom and I had a good laugh about it at pick-up time."
donkeyuptheminaret
The Mice
"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says..."
"3 boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said 'Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.'"
"Next day he is gone. The 2nd boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, 'Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.'"
"Next day, he’s gone too."
"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me. 'Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?' And I say 'yes.' And she says, 'Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.' All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling.
"I said,' 'Check please bartender!!' I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."
reb678
Tequila
"A woman once told me 'Every time I drink tequila I wind up sleeping with someone' and then proceeded to take a shot of tequila while holding eye contact with me."
Thefuturehasbears
"LOL, I was on a date in Hawaii and she said 'Tequila either makes me h**ny or angry' and I replied 'Don’t be angry, be the other one' and she went to buy us more tequila shots."
"I was so drunk I fell asleep on the car ride and she dropped me off."
Scytherx781
"They said ‘best pickup line’ not ‘best drop off line’ lol."
chalmedtomeetyou
That Kid
"I was at my friend's house and his 5-year-old brother grabbed one of our friends by the hand and asked if he could play her a song on his guitar. She said yes, he picked up his guitar but stopped just before strumming it, thought for about 30 seconds, and said 'I don't know any songs for princesses.'"
"That little kid had way more game that 19-year-old me had."
physics515
"When I was a student at University, I saw a pretty girl eating a particular brand of yogurt in the crowded dining hall before morning classes."
"I had the same brand of yogurt on my tray. I asked if I could sit at her table and she nodded. I looked across the table at her and pointed at her yogurt and said with a big shmucky smile 'Yoplait or mine?' It was said with humor and not as a pickup line. I ended up marrying that pretty girl. Amazing, given the horrible first line."
cblatnik
This is why I have never trusted any Yogurt.
Convince me otherwise!
I'm Hungry!
hungry feed me GIFGiphy"It’s not a pickup line as such, but this guy once said to me in passing, 'GIIIIRRRLL, I wanna feed you STEAK and GRAPES!' and I have never forgotten."
PicardiB
Wanna Share?
"Once was at a festival where an org was giving out free condoms at a booth. One of the ladies is talking to a guy and a girl saying 'the condoms are free by the way, take as many as you want... oh but we don't have unlimited stock so please don't take more than you need.'"
"The girl picks up a condom, turns to the guy, and says 'Wanna share?'"
getyourshittogether7
The Frost
"It was the first snowfall of the season. The person and I were walking around campus together - we were friends who were heading out to grab a snack in between classes. We were quietly walking when the person suddenly said to me: 'The snow looks beautiful today.' In my native language, my name means snow/frost/ice. Turned out they were hitting on me and I didn't realize until later."
Confident_Cell_1350
Over the Shoulder
"On Halloween, a buddy of mine was dressed as a Viking. He asked a girl if she wanted to hear his Viking pickup line. She said yeah. So he literally picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and said he was taking her back to the boat. They dated for almost a year."
Lines
"Take note that many of the best 'lines' are not openers, but are relevant follow-up comments once you are already in the flow and have a friendly rapport. And they are not really 'lines' per se, so much as situationally appropriate wit and timing (which are always attractive). Always better to just be present and focus on connection and context, not memorizing and saving a particular line for some future situation that may never come."
lurque
SCORE!!!
Moon Walk Dance GIFGiphy"At a college Halloween party, I was dressed up as Kazooie (although everyone assumed I was an angry bird) and I walked up to a woman dressed up as a golfer and told her that she could score a birdie tonight."
thepasz
Halloween is always an issue.
There are better holidays to meet people.
Pick up lines, often groan inducing and yet we love them for a laugh. But laughter at least breaks the ice right? Right??? Well some are just a little much although sometimes memorable. The absolute worst those writer has heard was so bad and said with such confidence it still solicits a laugh.
We went out as a group of women newly 21. One friend strayed from the group and was talking to two, very flirty, brothers at the bar. Whatever type of triangle they were thinking wasn't happening on our watch and we quickly got her back to the table. One of the men confidently walks over, flashes a smile, and holds his arms out proclaiming to us all “Come on, I'm a tube steak smothered in underwear baby!"
The second one was a man who acting all smooth looked me up and down and said "girl I like your resume." To which I responded, "I didn't apply for the position." They went for their shot so hard and to their credit I've never forgotten either of them.
Redditor triggeranimal wanted to hear the best of the worst pick up lines the Internet had to offer. They asked:
"What's a pickup line so bad it's awesome?"
Reddit delivered.
Musical chairs anyone?
“I'd steal every chair so you could sit on my face. (Used on me once through text.) I responded with ‘I'd sit on the floor.’” Intenational_Fig524
They're not wrong...
“Do you know how much a Polar bear weighs? Enough to break the ice.” Nuffsaid98
Not sure now to respond to that...
“You seem to have dropped something there... Oh, its your standards! Can I buy you a drink?" Smiles_will_help
schitts creek comedy GIF by CBCGiphySmack with dictionary, got it.
“My faves are 1: ‘when I saw you walk by it was like I was at the atm…..I had to check my balance’ and 2: ‘are you a dictionary?….Cause you got definition.’” triggeranimal
Laughter is key.
“When I was in uni. I was drunk and sat down next to this girl at a party, and said. ‘If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put you and me together.’ She looked at me confused and I was like. ‘No that didn't make sense.’... She started laughing. At that moment I knew. The best thing to do is try and make people laugh. And not use a chat up line seriously.” Dr_Downvote_
Have you heard about safe sex?
“Are you looking for a STUD? Because I already have the STD, all I need is U.” AGH8
golden girls condom GIFGiphyThree for one...
“Got three for y'all 1) Are you my pinky toe because I wanna bang you on my coffee table 2) Hey did I see you on Trip Advisor the other day? Yeah, I was looking for the best place to eat out 3) Sit on my face and I'll guess your weight. If I'm wrong, I'll eat the difference.” dangerburns880
Extended warranty...
“I'm calling you about your cars extended warranty, we'd like to know if you could sit down with a representative this Friday afternoon at ___(Insert Restaurant here) at _o'clock. Thank you for your time and have a wonderful day." high-im-stupid
Tired Hurry Up GIF by Sandro CavazzaGiphyMmmmmm no...
“Hey girl are you a microwave? Cause mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.” Birthday-Specialist
That got morbid quick...
“Damn girl are you a toaster cuz I wanna take a bath w/ you.” Captain-Seahawks
Pick up lines at cheesy but not used seriously can be a way to break the ice with some laughs in the right circumstance. We'd love to hear your best one liners.
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"Is there an airport nearby, or was that just my heart taking off?"
The art of the pick up can be cringe-worthy. Desperation for a date can lead to people saying strange things. It could be to get a laugh out of a potential partner, or a genuinely bad attempt at flirting.
Redditor u/OGVenon123 asked people, "What is the worst pick up line that you have heard/used?" And the lines that were shared ranged from funny to downright disgusting.
10. A fair exchange
"I was at a concert and I overheard a girl ask a guy, 'Hey, can I borrow your lighter?' 'Sure, here you go. Can I borrow your number?' 'Sure, here you go.' That actually worked?!?!?"
9. Old school
"'You know that dress you're wearing would look even better laying on the floor next to my bed' said to me on the early 80's"
8. I think that's charming
"'You look like trash. Let me take you out.' Said by me to the woman who is now my wife."
7. Impressive, but disgusting
"No ****, about 12 years ago, a buddy and I sat down at a dive bar. He looked at the chick next to him and just said 'Wanna bang?'.
She looked him up and down briefly and went 'Yea... alright, let me finish this beer first.'
It was impressive and disgusting."
6. Don't use Honest Abe's name in vain
Giphy"Are you Abraham Lincoln?
Because you're causing an uprising down south ."
4. Does this work?
"I'm a woman. when I see a guy with a cool shirt I say nice **** as an opener."
3. TMI
"My friend was once hit with:
Do you work at Subway? Because I'm pretty sure you gave me a $5 footlong."
2. I want to hold your arm
"A friend of mine has a prosthetic arm because he was afraid girls wouldn't like him if he just had a stub for an arm. He walks up to a girl, says 'Hey, can you hold something for me?' The girl says, 'What do you need me to hold?' Then, my friend says 'My hand...' as his prosthetic arm falls off. The girl picked up his arm and said 'This arm?' Now they are married."
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.