Pick up lines, often groan inducing and yet we love them for a laugh. But laughter at least breaks the ice right? Right??? Well some are just a little much although sometimes memorable. The absolute worst those writer has heard was so bad and said with such confidence it still solicits a laugh.
We went out as a group of women newly 21. One friend strayed from the group and was talking to two, very flirty, brothers at the bar. Whatever type of triangle they were thinking wasn't happening on our watch and we quickly got her back to the table. One of the men confidently walks over, flashes a smile, and holds his arms out proclaiming to us all “Come on, I'm a tube steak smothered in underwear baby!"
The second one was a man who acting all smooth looked me up and down and said "girl I like your resume." To which I responded, "I didn't apply for the position." They went for their shot so hard and to their credit I've never forgotten either of them.
Redditor triggeranimal wanted to hear the best of the worst pick up lines the Internet had to offer. They asked:
Musical chairs anyone?
“I'd steal every chair so you could sit on my face. (Used on me once through text.) I responded with ‘I'd sit on the floor.’” Intenational_Fig524
They're not wrong...
“Do you know how much a Polar bear weighs? Enough to break the ice.” Nuffsaid98
Not sure now to respond to that...
“You seem to have dropped something there... Oh, its your standards! Can I buy you a drink?" Smiles_will_helpschitts creek comedy GIF by CBCGiphy
Smack with dictionary, got it.
“My faves are 1: ‘when I saw you walk by it was like I was at the atm…..I had to check my balance’ and 2: ‘are you a dictionary?….Cause you got definition.’” triggeranimal
Laughter is key.
“When I was in uni. I was drunk and sat down next to this girl at a party, and said. ‘If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put you and me together.’ She looked at me confused and I was like. ‘No that didn't make sense.’... She started laughing. At that moment I knew. The best thing to do is try and make people laugh. And not use a chat up line seriously.” Dr_Downvote_
Have you heard about safe sex?
“Are you looking for a STUD? Because I already have the STD, all I need is U.” AGH8golden girls condom GIFGiphy
Three for one...
“Got three for y'all 1) Are you my pinky toe because I wanna bang you on my coffee table 2) Hey did I see you on Trip Advisor the other day? Yeah, I was looking for the best place to eat out 3) Sit on my face and I'll guess your weight. If I'm wrong, I'll eat the difference.” dangerburns880
“I'm calling you about your cars extended warranty, we'd like to know if you could sit down with a representative this Friday afternoon at ___(Insert Restaurant here) at _o'clock. Thank you for your time and have a wonderful day." high-im-stupidTired Hurry Up GIF by Sandro CavazzaGiphy
“Hey girl are you a microwave? Cause mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.” Birthday-Specialist
That got morbid quick...
“Damn girl are you a toaster cuz I wanna take a bath w/ you.” Captain-Seahawks
Pick up lines at cheesy but not used seriously can be a way to break the ice with some laughs in the right circumstance. We'd love to hear your best one liners.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
"Is there an airport nearby, or was that just my heart taking off?"
The art of the pick up can be cringe-worthy. Desperation for a date can lead to people saying strange things. It could be to get a laugh out of a potential partner, or a genuinely bad attempt at flirting.
Redditor u/OGVenon123 asked people, "What is the worst pick up line that you have heard/used?" And the lines that were shared ranged from funny to downright disgusting.
10. A fair exchange
"I was at a concert and I overheard a girl ask a guy, 'Hey, can I borrow your lighter?' 'Sure, here you go. Can I borrow your number?' 'Sure, here you go.' That actually worked?!?!?"
9. Old school
"'You know that dress you're wearing would look even better laying on the floor next to my bed' said to me on the early 80's"
8. I think that's charming
"'You look like trash. Let me take you out.' Said by me to the woman who is now my wife."
7. Impressive, but disgusting
"No ****, about 12 years ago, a buddy and I sat down at a dive bar. He looked at the chick next to him and just said 'Wanna bang?'.
She looked him up and down briefly and went 'Yea... alright, let me finish this beer first.'
It was impressive and disgusting."
6. Don't use Honest Abe's name in vainGiphy
"Are you Abraham Lincoln?
Because you're causing an uprising down south ."
5. This line caught my interest
"are you a bank loan? cause you got my interest"
4. Does this work?
"I'm a woman. when I see a guy with a cool shirt I say nice **** as an opener."
"My friend was once hit with:
Do you work at Subway? Because I'm pretty sure you gave me a $5 footlong."
2. I want to hold your arm
"A friend of mine has a prosthetic arm because he was afraid girls wouldn't like him if he just had a stub for an arm. He walks up to a girl, says 'Hey, can you hold something for me?' The girl says, 'What do you need me to hold?' Then, my friend says 'My hand...' as his prosthetic arm falls off. The girl picked up his arm and said 'This arm?' Now they are married."
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.