Redditor Eyeso-pain- wanted to discuss everyone's scandalous moments of pride without care, so they asked:
"Redditors, What’s the most nsfw thing that you have done and don’t regret?"
Just telling a cold, hard truth is my mic drop.
Felt good.
Let's Chat
Pay Me Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Talked with my coworkers about our salaries."
ThaBossnian
"In all seriousness in the US under the National Labor Relations Act you have the right to discuss your salary with your coworkers and (legally at least) HR can't do a damn thing about it."
elementus
Hey Ladies
"This is tame but funny. Worked at a call center with other cubicles all around me. I went online to try and interpret a dream I had the night before. I typed in what I thought was Dreammoods, which is a dream dictionary but I must have skipped a letter because nude Dream girls started popping up on my screen and I could not get them to stop. It was rapid fire pop ups of Naked dream girls. LOL. I died."
RedHoneyBadger6
Smoking Hot
"I was living with my sister and her husband while in college (they lived just a few blocks from the school) one day while they were gone my gf came over wearing a sexy outfit. We were in the living room, making out furiously. She had just taken her skirt and top off and I heard a key in the lock."
"I was still dressed and booked it into the kitchen like I was grabbing sodas from the fridge and engaged them in conversation while standing in the doorway between the kitchen and living room as she quickly got dressed out of sight."
"She looked smoking hot in that outfit, and that was the sexiest thing she’d ever done until after we got married."
Storyteller678
NDA
"Slept with a hotel guest all over the hotel and it was caught on camera, including on the clock. Because of the NDA we all had to sign, and their post on Instagram about how marvelous the hotel was to their following, I got away with it. But it was a funny meeting where my remediation was 'don't ever freaking do that again... but nice job.'"
DrJOsterman
Some outfits make magic.
I like Home Depot
Heart Love GIF by Lowe's Home ImprovementGiphy"Had sex on the dishwashers in receiving at Lowes, with my fling at the time. That fling and I have been happily married for 12 years."
glittereddaisy13
Let's Play
"Went to a pro dominatrix. I apparently didn’t regret it since I’m seeing her tomorrow as well. Honestly it was a lot more chill than I expected. She was more than happy to just talk. Genuinely seemed like a nice person which put me at ease. I think it was mostly what I expected..."
Project_Legion
It Was Fun
"Was flirting with this person at work for a really long time but never did anything because work relationships are just too much drama. One day the power went out and I used a flashlight to get to the water machine in the big, infrequently used storage room that it was kept in."
"I’m sitting at a desk in the corner, reading my phone in the mostly dark, enjoying the quiet like a weirdo when she wanders in. We talked a bit and joked that it would be fun to go in the closet and have sex and if we thought anyone would find us. It was fun and no one found us."
Nippon-Gakki
48 Hours
"When I was in the army I decided to take a bus home from central Texas to northeastern Pennsylvania. It was a 48 hour trip. Somewhere south of Washington DC a woman gets on the bus and sits next to me as it's the only available seat. We start talking and hit it off."
"Later that night when it was nice and dark we sneak into the bathroom on the bus and get it on. We were supposed to get together later in the week but plans fell through. I heard from her once after that when she mailed me a letter with a photo of us someone took for us. I never heard from her again."
solemn_penguin
Plus 2
Ariana Grande Singing GIF by The VoiceGiphy"My fiancée cheated on me 2 weeks before the wedding. I shagged both of his brothers no regrets."
rowenaravenclaw0
As savage as that move is... should y'all be married?
Do you have any stories to get off your chest? Let us know in the comments below.
So they asked:
"What is something that you did you are not proud of but you don't regret doing it?"
When I was a child. I stole money from the church collections for pizza. I was an altar boy. Come get me Jesus.
"in his"
Gas Station Animation GIFGiphy"When I was 16 years old, a nasty neighbor left the air out of all my car tires because I had parked 'in his' public parking spot. Right before he left on a vacation trip, I replaced his gas cap with a 'locking gas cap' and threw away the key. I feel bad about that, but not too much."
odirio
The Crush
"I was being harassed by a boy in church. It went on for weeks, but that horrible 'he’s got a crush on you' bs they tell little girls. I was about 11 and he was maybe 12. I’d told him to stop many times and one day I got so sick of it I stomped on his toes. I was wearing my fancy shoes. I wouldn’t be surprised if I broke a toe or two. He stopped harassing me. Not proud of it, but the adults wouldn’t help and he wasn’t going to stop otherwise so I don’t regret it."
orange_teapots
She Earned it
"Growing up, the garage in my home is where unwanted things went to die. Cars never parked there, it was simply filled with junk and trash, often unnavigable. My step mom and I had a fairly contentious relationship. Sometimes when she’d make me really angry I’d take one of her shoes and throw it into the dark heart of the garage, never to be seen again."
"I would only throw one though so she’d still have the other so later I could watch her stalk around the house searching for the one that was missing. Wasn’t kind, but she definitely earned it and it was extremely satisfying."
DustyJustice
a better course of action...
"There was this girl in my class that got abused by her father. I had some friends with somewhat shady parents in my youth (was 14 at that time). I dropped that the girls father hit her and her mother and maybe worse. A few days later the father was delivered to the hospital with a lot of broken bones and so much pain, that they have to induce coma to him so he can heal."
"Anyway, the dude was in hospital for over two months, giving mom and daughter respite. They lost the fear, went to the police and got help moving out. Things went better for them afterwards. I knew the parents of the friend were shady and I dropped that in hope they would do something, but they also could’ve killed the man and maybe going to the police would’ve been the better course of action. But I don’t regret the outcome."
Durion23
You Owe Us
Pay Me Bitch Better Have My Money GIFGiphy"My father refused to pay child support after he abandoned my mum and his three kids. I still knew his banking information so I took almost £900 from his bank. Not proud of stealing, but f**k him right?"
Spyriadon
You get that financial support anyway necessary.
Fired
Baby Youre Out GIF by I Love Kellie PicklerGiphy"Had to fire a friend. He was an okay guy to hang out with, but had zero work ethic and was a complete burden on everyone."
Jagged_Rhythm
Got Him
"I injured my sisters ex boyfriend. He choked her and beat her up pretty bad. I grabbed my baseball bat, waited at their apartment and whacked his legs when he walked in the door. In retrospect that was a little overboard but I don’t regret it."
thesamdanger119
My Mother
"I got somebody fired from her job. She worked as security in an airport, and I knew that she frequently went to work drunk. She drove there drunk, went about her very important duties drunk (manning the bag x-ray machine, searching bags/passengers, driving company vehicles around the airport perimeter, etc), and also drank at work."
"I also knew she drank because of profound mental issues that were not her fault, but weighing it up with all the lives she was risking each day, I had to say something. I reported her, she was checked and searched, and vodka was found on her. She was immediately fired, and was lucky to avoid prosecution."
"I imagine the airport didn't want a huge scandal. This woman was my own mother. She still doesn't know how she was caught."
attheark
"Alcoholism in families is really tough. Good for you! You might already know, but there are groups/group therapy specifically for family members of alcoholics."
MaBob202
For Mom
"When I was 17 about 4 friends and I were walking home from basketball practice. It was probably around 6:30 or 7:00 PM I cant remember the exact time this was 20 years ago. Any way my house was first out of the friends so when we got to mines they were all there. We heard yelling and loud bangs like stuff breaking coming from my house. I ran in and saw my mom bloody and beat to crap."
"I blacked out next thing you know my friends and I beat the hell out of my then Step Father. His jaw was broke and had to be wired shut for weeks. He had bruised ribs and a pretty bad concussion as well besides all the bumps and bruises. Turns out we was addicted to crack at the time and my mom found him stealing something out of her purse. I still feel bad for what I did but i would do it again in a heartbeat if anyone ever did that to someone I love."
osprey1984
The Bully
Bully Bullying GIF by DrSquatchSoapCoGiphy"Sending my bully to the hospital by smashing his face into a pole. I do not like violence, but reached my limit with it and lashed out. I was never bullied again by anybody."
Rinpoo
I'm Proud
"Nobody wants to admit they eat 9 cans of ravioli, but I did and I'm ashamed of myself. The first can doesn't count and then you get to the second, and the third. The fourth and fifth I think I burnt with the blow torch and then I just kept eating."
theflamesweregolfin
"I ate 18 French Fancies (cakes) once in one go, that’s two boxes. I still don’t know why I did it but couldn’t stop."
BeEccentric
Payback...
"Not attending my father’s wedding as petty payback (was a child)."
DharrMannNumber1Fan
"I was all set to boycott a friend's wedding, after she got engaged to a dirtbag who treated her badly. I have no ability to bulls**t & knew I couldn't pretend to celebrate that. Thank the Gods, she realized in time what a piece of crap he was. It might have been better for you to have stayed away than be a downer at the event. No one can force themselves to be glad about something if they aren't."
2PlasticLobsters
Stepping In
"Slapping my dad a few times when he was about to beat my mom for asking him to not eat crap that could kill him after a heart attack. She was crying that day already but the sadist piece of crap kept munching with a smile and lost his patience when she said something. I was nearby and stepped in to put down a bully."
Puzzleheaded_Ad_9427
'84 Story
Big Brother Artists On Tumblr GIF by G1ft3dGiphy"I stole 1984 by George Orwell when I was in 7th grade. I didn't like doing it and I was a dumb kid at the time, but it was such an amazing story to be honest."
Being Ill
"I was sick with a disease that normally strikes children and received some financial aid from a charitable organization. They knew I was an adult and gave me the money and I really needed gas money to get to treatment, so I know it wasn't actually wrong but I don't feel comfortable with any charity let alone cashing cheques from the 'childhood cancer association' as a 37 year old."
Egoy
Payday...
"I jokingly told a coworker to take out a second payday loan for another insane amount (5k if I remember correctly) since he kept asking for money and trying to convince me to help bankroll some drop shipping thing. Well dumba** actually went through with it and is contemplating bankruptcy now. Not proud that I gave him the idea even if I meant it in jest but can't say I regret it since that's on him."
wert989
Punished
"After constant physical and emotional abuse my mother trapped my father at the balcony twice a whole night. I could have opened the door but I didn't. Knowing that this abusive cheater was punished before he left the country and got away from every accountability makes me a little bit happier."
AnteaterPersonal3093
Crap
Episode 4 Pooping GIF by South ParkGiphy"Pooping my pants. It was awful when it happened but I cry laughing eveytime it happened. Created some good memories with the people I was with... lol."
ViciousViolentVixxen
He's partially blind...
"Prayed to God that I wouldn't have to spend a weekend with my dad and his girlfriend. I was under 10 (28 now) they were doing meth (I didn't know at the time) and I couldn't stand being around her. He's partially blind. He got into a car accident on his way to get me, no injuries. He ended up spending the weekend with me at my mom's house instead, great weekend. He's never owned a car since, is clean nowadays. I've never prayed again."
Twiz41
Bullies have to learn. And again... we are sometimes the embodiment of kharma.
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Sleep Land....
Tired Good Night GIF by MLBGiphyA weighted blanket. I got a cheap one for around $40 but it's so so worth it.
We have a queen size and put it over our sheet and blanket so it doesn't get hot and the weight helps you sink into the mattress and fall asleep. I have restless legs and my husband has insomnia. We've been sleeping MUCH better since using our blanket.
Knife that fits the hand?
A high quality chef's knife.
To add an extra bit, a high quality chef's knife that fits your hand.
My husband hates my chef's knife because it's too small of a handle for him and I hate his chefs knife because it feels too clunky. We both loved cooking before we met so we ended up with two different sets of prep knives once we combined everything.
Think Ahead
Investing for retirement.
I work for the federal government and have a good retirement. While many of my friends make more per hour than I do I don't think they've even thought of their exit strategy while I already have 6 figures saved. I don't want to be working forever.
jim henson chef GIFIf you are in the United States both California and Texas have olive orchards that are producing. Domestic olive oil is significantly more expensive than foreign grown. I was amazed the first time I tasted 100% pure olive oil that was at peak flavor.
Being Grounded....
Anything that goes between you and the ground. Footwear, tires, beds, etc.
You need to be careful though, lots of good brands which are pricey have moved their manufacturing offshore and now just make expensive crap. I had some go-to brands that I've literally worn out in a few months.
Slumber Home
A nice bed.
You spend 1/3 of your life on here, so this definitely makes sense.
I think its about 60% of my life, so it's definitely worth it.
Land...
A house.
While houses are definitely great, I don't think everyone is cut out to own one. Houses require a lot of maintenance and time invested, and for some people it's just a better option to rent.
Britain actually has world class dental care for many many years. They just don't focus on cosmetic stuff like us Americans. They generally have better teeth than us nowadays and apparently they don't even need to pay for it! Jealous.
Keeping them White
A good electric toothbrush.
I have the oral b pro 3000 it's a good starting brush, first time using it I felt like I just got a dental cleaning. It has several different modes including a whitening, I've been using it for almost 2 months now and my teeth got noticeably whiter, you just have to be consistent. The Bluetooth app makes it easy.
Bye Felicia....
kim kardashian GIFGiphyA divorce.
Couldn't agree more! Also worth the time/money to consult multiple attorneys. Even if you don't think you have much to fight over, you need an attorney you trust to protect you.
for the 20/20....
Lasik.
I went with intralase SBK. Hybrid of Lasik and PRK. Pricier, but less risk of complications. Faster recovery. 20/20 vision the morning after and I could have driven myself to the follow up appointment but husband wouldn't let me. Little bit of light sensitivity now which just means I wear sunglasses more often which isn't a bad thing.
Schooled
perfect score episode 3 GIFGiphyEducation. No one could take that away from you.
On a Cloud....
Sneakers for working out or hiking.
And proper running shoes for running! I decided to start running and in order to motivate myself, sunk 160 bucks into proper running shoes. Like running on a freaking cloud.
Wildfoot....
Good boots/shoes.
Went through several pairs of work boots that consistently hurt my feet. Finally spent the money on some Irish setter (redwing) boots. They're the most comfortable shoes I own (including tennis shoes).
I paid out for my kennetrek wildland firefighting boots and I can't recommend them enough. I love kennetrek in general and have always got 5 years of daily use out of them but these wildland fire ones are easily my favorite so far.
Do you hear the people sing?
adventure time GIFGiphyA musical instrument and lessons.
I found a Casio CTK-5000 discarded on the sidewalk last week. It was filthy and the plastic sides were collapsing in on themselves, and it didn't turn on. After a quick scrub, some superglue, and a set of D batteries it works like a charm.
Last week I couldn't play piano, either. Now I know where the notes are and how to play chords. I've been practicing random songs and have the first bars of each down, and I'm hoping to get better with time. I really need a better teaching resource.
Considering that last Monday I wouldn't have ever considered I'd have a functional instrument now, it's kind of wild.
Smells like you...
Good cologne. It seems vain and silly, but once you find that one scent that really works on you. Man. It's like being reborn.
I have chronic migraines and strong smells (especially cologne, scented spray etc) trigger really bad ones. I will get an instant migraine from cheaply, strong, sugary, flowery cologne or body mist/spray and eau de Toilette.
Like the crap they sell at Victoria Secret. It's horrible but yet so many woman spray that crap on themselves and they smell like they bathed in it for hours. I just can't... I personally buy only two brands of perfumes and they are on the more $ side. Still searching for a third alternative.
Pain Away....
Epidural. Would recommend to anyone in labor.
Susan all loopy and riding an epidural high on Coupling:
"Hello Dr Take-Away-My-Pain"
"Feeling better Susan?"
"Yes, I'd have you right here in this bed, but I've got someone coming the other way"
Fur Baby price tag...
A pet, they can become VERY expensive.
Emphasis on the VERY. Believe it or not I had a white German Shepherd that cost me a little more than 10,000 in the first year and a half and it didn't stop there. But still was the best dog I ever had. Much to loved to not be missed... terribly.
SILENCE!!!
Noise cancelling headphones.
I went through the first 3 years of school with budget noise cancelling headphones. I just couldn't justify dropping $300 on a pair of Bose QC25s being a broke student and all that.
I ended up buying a used pair about a month in to my 4th year and boy oh boy did they make a difference. I regret not scraping together the cash and buying them in 1st year.
In terms of dollars per hour of enjoyment, that's probably the best damn money I've ever spent.
andy samberg flirting GIF
Ruined.
GiphyRuined a perfectly good friendship. We later married and have been together ever since. pressthebuttonfrank
which I understand.....
I slept with my close guy friend for months after going through a hard breakup with someone else. We were able to stay friends afterwards but things have definitely changed for the worse now that he has a new gf. She's said before that she feels uncomfortable around me, which I understand. Any person he dates from now on is probably going to feel that way, so I know we'll never get back the close friendship we had. Definitely something I never thought about when I chose to cross that line. sosmore
For about 5 years....
Well, I'd always liked her but didn't want to risk the friendship. Turns out she was thinking the same thing the whole time. For about 5 years. She was just a physically affectionate friend to everyone, so I didn't think anything of her constantly touching me in ways that would usually be considered flirting. At some point one of our mutual friends, who I hadn't told, let slip by accident that she had a mega crush on me, and I couldn't believe it.
I asked my friend, and she said it was true, I confided my feelings as well, and we got busy fast, because we both felt we'd spent enough time together to be sure of each other and now it's been a year and a half, and we're still together and still in that honeymoon-phase. I'm a very lucky dude, and I know everyone won't be so lucky, but there is hope my dudes. ReallyBigTanks
Like A Virgin...
GiphyFriends for almost 10 years, he got embarrassed about still being a virgin going into his second year of college. Being the great friend i was, I agreed to sleep with him platonically so he could have his first time nervousness free.
After that, we never really talked about it for about 2 years, unless it was a joke. We continued our friendship like nothing happened.
After those 2 years went by we somehow ended up in a sexual relationship again, after a drunk night at college. We continued this relationship for a few months, progressing from purely sexual into a romantic relationship. I really thought we were finally about to get it right, and maybe this was the way it was always supposed to be. It was heaven, it was bliss.
But then he got an actual girlfriend and never talked to me again.
It's been about 3 years since this happened and they are still together, which admittedly still bothers me. I really had no idea he was seeing anyone else, hence why I was so blindsided and hurt. This did cause a lot of trust issues that I still struggle with, but it was an important lesson to learn. If they ever break up and he tries reaching out to me, I'm strong enough now not to be there. xandrenia
People Share Which Social Norms Absolutely Baffle Them | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Forever After....
I went over to his house one day to hangout, we had joked about just having sex with each other since neither of us were getting any, and well one thing lead to another. We're engaged now. hellanordi
Palpable....
We had been close friends for a couple of years, but the sexual tension was palpable. Most people who saw the two of us together thought we were a couple. But we both had too much baggage to get involved. Two days before I was moving across the country we were drunk as hell (we usually were) and I asked him if he wanted to do it.
So we did. For all the sexual tension we had, the sex wasn't particularly memorable. We spoke a fair amount after I moved, but eventually fell out of touch. I don't know if that was because of the sex or just distance and time. OneRhinoArmy
Meh....
GiphyWe were friends. Agreed to be FWB. Are now dating for a couple years now. Other than the sexual aspect of it, we're still two goofballs who make each other laugh. So nothing really changed all that much. Cyanora
~emotions~
I spent my four years of high school with a good boyfriend, but my best friend was broken up with in the same week I was, in a super similar way, right after the summer of our graduation. We kinda bonded over it and he kissed me because of ~emotions~ but I told him I didn't feel the same and he was really respectful about it. He joined the navy and I sent him a bunch of letters in bootcamp. A few months later, I saved up and flew 2000 miles to go visit him on base, we stayed the weekend together, and... sex happened.
To be completely honest with you after he fell asleep I totally flipped out. I was a wreck. I thought we were never going to be able to look one another in the eye afterward, but we got up, had breakfast in a little cafe, and went to the library holding hands. We've been together since. I love him more than life itself, I've never been in a relationship that felt more natural and healthy. We still talk like old friends. He calls me darlin' dearest. I'm enamored. Apageo
After the Break....
Following her breaking up with a guy she had been with for a couple years we had sex about 4 times the last month of senior year after being super close friends all throughout high school. It was no secret that I had a thing for her the entire time but she never really saw me that way. At that point we just kinda got stuck in this weird limbo between not wanting to date but not being able to go back to being friends and wound up getting into a huge fight before she left the state for college, obviously the friendship was never truly rekindled but we still talk occasionally.
She wound up getting back together with the guy and only seems to text me when things are not going right with him. A mutual friend told me that she had said she regretted not dating me but at this point forget that, I'm not gonna be a penis but she had her chance. zaybo_no1
I wish it never happened.
GiphyI wish it never happened. She got super crazy weird afterward and it completely ruined our friendship. After a year of attempting to ease it back to what we had before I got the hint and stopped bothering her. She's engaged now and I wasn't even invited to the wedding which really really hurts. Ryguy55
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