Dating is hard already, but to make it extra hard, sometimes you face really really weird people on dates.
And that shows up when you're least expecting it in the worst ways. Sometimes people seem normal up until the last minute. Sometimes they really fool you into believing they are, and then you realize--nope, not a chance.
Here were some of those answers.
What A Night
I tried to reconnect with an old flame I hadn't seen in years and invited her to a party a co-worker of mine was having. She's now a single mother and hasn't gone out to a party in years and accepts my invitation readily.
We go the party late because she decided it was imperative that she pre-game, despite my insistence this was a house party and not a kegger and that we weren't teenagers any more. First thing she does is chug a beer then slide her jeans down to expose her butt so that people could slap it.
She goes hard and ends up throwing up and passing out around 8pm. The party started at 7. I'm cleaning up after her, embarrassed all to hell, when she wakes up and starts throwing up again narrowly missing the trash can I had placed next to her. Eventually I get everything cleaned up, talk to her and decide it's better to just go back to my place and she can sleep it off in an actual bed.
I put her in my car and go back for her purse. Upon my return I discover my entire car is covered with yet more vomit. I clean that up as best I can (oh god the smell) and take her back to my place and lay her down.
End of the story? No, no I wish it was.
She decides she can't fall asleep because her clothes are cutting off her oxygen supply so she strips down completely nude in front of me and then passes out. This was my tiny one room studio so I couldn't go anywhere to give her privacy. I also only owned one blanket and at this point it was freezing. So I stay fully clothed and lay down next to her and try to get some sleep.
About 15 minutes later she gets up and wanders to the other side of the studio, then just stands there, again she is completely nude. I get up and ask her what's wrong and as soon as the words are out of my mouth she pees all over my floor like a dog.
Of course the universe decides this is the day I should run out of cleaning supplies, so I make a (by now) midnight run to a 24 hour CVS, clean everything up and then I can't sleep the rest of the night.
Morning comes and I take her home, never spoke to her again. Heard she stopped drinking and got married though.
Someone's Dream Life Became Too Real
We are driving around looking for a place to grab lunch. I keep suggesting all these restaurants and he shoots all my ideas down. I jokingly suggest the Subway in Walmart. He's for it. Soon as we get our sandwiches he says every night he dreams he's fighting demons and he knows the dreams are real because he wakes up with bite marks. On the way home he asked if i wanted to hunt ghosts with him
Vroom Vroom Vroom
My date showed up for lunch, drunk. Kept drinking throughout lunch and as I was making a quick exit, said "hey I got some ropes in the car if you want to have done fun".
Fortunately sober me took off and he said he was going to follow me. He was driving around in circles in the parking lot and I drove away. Never heard from him again (not like I'd answer him)
Co-Dependency With Animals
She kept cancelling and rescheduling due to her dog's anxiety. I set up a date at a brewery that had an outdoor patio so she could bring the little dog and it wouldn't get anxiety from being alone. Throughout the date she talked to the dog and when we talked, she mainly talked about him (the dog) and how everyone was thinking he was so cute and wants to pet him. Watching someone have a longer and more involved conversation with their dog than me while we were on a date was astonishing to me.
Are...They Going To Get Me Murdered?
In the middle of a coffee date, my date - a guy who I had met on OKCupid who attended the same college - decided to tell me in a jovial tone that he moved from Florida after he was formally accused of murdering his late boyfriend who had died in their apartment together. Being a little weirded out I decided to end the date, citing that I had some stuff to do at home. Then he wanted to walk me home. I played one of those "Ope! This is my block, gotta go!" and dipped about 3 blocks away from my actual apartment.
It wasn't that he brought it up - it's how he brought it up. It all made me very uneasy.
Final contact came as a text from him: "Nice meeting you today. You could have warned me about those blue eyes though." Spooky fella.
I went on a date with a guy I met via Badoo last year. Here are some highlights:
- "You're a gamer girl, you're not fat, and you're as attractive as you are in your pictures? What's the catch?"
-Mishears "Support worker" as "Social worker" after asking what I do for a living, and proceeds into a tirade about how all social workers are "government Nazis", who steal children from homes and place them into foster care, and says nothing more on the matter when I correct him.-
- When the date ended (after around 90 minutes longer than it should have been) "Are you coming with me or not?"
He texted me the next day saying he had a lovely time, and that he wouldn't mind seeing me again. No.
I was on a second date with a girl I met on Tinder. The first date was lovely, we ate sushi and drank beer at the river. For the second one we went to a party.
The whole evening she made out with guys to get a free drink (some of the drinks she even gave to me) and then ditched them - "oooops, I'm a lesbian, soorry!". She also always came up to me and told me she's disgusted to kiss me because of my lip piercing. Once she heavily made out with a girl in one corner and later left with a lesbian couple for an hour.
The only reason I stayed? One guy who paid for one of her drinks and didn't get she's a lesbian started talking to me and asked me about her. I then told him that actually I AM the date. We ended partying together the whole night. He was a really cool dude, we had a lot in common and it went from a horrible night to a pretty fun one.
This All Got Crazy
Moved to New York in my early 20s, (grew up in a very small town in Kentucky), did a little reminiscing, looking through old friends on Facebook. Found out this girl I went to middle school with (she moved away after that) also lived in New York. I reached out to her and said we should hang out. She was very enthusiastic.
Went to a bar in the lower east side. Started out really nice. I thought we were just meeting up as friends, it became clear we were on a date. She told me she had just recently broken up with someone. Told me she had always had a huge crush on me, (dude the last time I saw you we were literally 13).
She gets louder and louder and starts talking about how everyone in her life has failed her. She is apparently incredibly angry at the world. People are looking at us. Cool, I say I'm running to the restroom. I come back and she's taken the liberty of ordering a drink for me. Just a huge goblet of bourbon. Okay not really my thing, and weird that you decided it was. How do you even talk the bartender into giving you like a quarter of the bottle in a cocktail glass.
Try to end the date. She prolongs the goodbye. We walk out of the bar together. I ask which way she's going. She points toward her train stop. Oh what a shame I tell her, I'm the other direction (we actually had the same train). She tells me that's fine she'll go with me. Too young and lack the emotional maturity to tell her "hey I just don't want hang out with you", so I say "ah I was actually just going to go on a walk, stretch my legs a bit, it was fun hanging out with you we should do this again." She replies that she would love to take a walk.
So we walk, it's 15 degrees outside. Surely if we keep walking she'll get cold and go her own way. Nope, the rage is keeping her warm. She's telling me about her sister now. Man she really hates her sister. It's been like 5 hours since the start of the date now, 2am. Can't take it anymore, go down to the train. She comes with me, sits next to me. She offers to go to my place, I finally have to say that I'm just not interested in her doing so.
It doesn't sound bad on paper but there's something so unpleasant about being a young twenty-something, struggling and broke in a new city, reminiscing about being a care free kid, trying to reconnect with something from that life, and then they take you on an incredibly aggressive date.
On a first date a guy, we got tired of the bar we were at and he told me he wanted to take me to somewhere cool. Sweet. I was down. He then proceeded to drive me twenty minutes out of town in a rural area. I kept asking where we were going and he kept saying for me to just trust him. We end up in a cornfield. I am straight up thinking I am getting murdered at this point. Turns out he just wanted to look at the stars, but I was so paranoid and worked up that I just asked to go back to town.
People Like This Exist
We had dinner, and throughout it he kept joking about having forgotten his wallet, probably in an attempt to get me to pay for him.
He said that dictatorship was the best kind of state since people feel so much safer and more secure than in a democracy (not a joke).
He planned what kind of music will play in our car when we go for a vacation together, and that our kids might not enjoy Iron Maiden (I do enjoy Iron Maiden, he did not).
The next day, he texted me "I'd like to invite you to the movies, would you like to pay for my ticket?"
I didn't text back.
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
WHERE TO BEGIN?!
The list is endless.
Half the time all it takes to be better is a little effort.
RedditorMidoriSpicewanted to hear about the lack of skills some people really need to acquire when it comes to sexy time. They asked:
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
I love sex. But it can be stressful. I've always found connection to be one of the best lessons.
CommunicationsGIF by HULUGiphy
"Assuming they already know what their partner wants/likes and doesn't communicate or take any instructions."
Take it Slow
"No foreplay and not caring if your partner is enjoying it."
"I had an ex who literally never wanted to do any kind of foreplay. He just wanted basically sex of any kind for him. He said oral on women was gross."
"Proposing mid intercourse."
"Honestly? With the partner I have, I'd think it was pretty hot and romantic lmao. I'd check in after the deed to make sure he was serious but our relationship is already very serious so it wouldn't be a big deal."
Talk to Me
"Not talking or making any noises. We don't have to dirty talk the whole time or even at all but you gotta let me know you're enjoying it at least."
"I think there's some balance between having some small talk, silence, and dirty talk while being in bed with someone. Or maybe that's just been my experience. I don't know--I think there's some fun in trying to carry a side conversation while having sex lol."
"Friction isn’t always a good thing."
YuckBored Larry Bird GIF by SB NationGiphy
"To this you can add unclipped fingernails."
"And dirty fingernails. Nah, ma'am. I’m betting this is not worth the infection. Thanks."
‘good at sex’
"I have a feeling most men will say 'lack of enthusiasm' and that most women will say 'being selfish about pleasure.'"
"I’m a woman and my first thought was lack of enthusiasm, but my own lack of enthusiasm. The only bad sex I’ve had is when I don’t genuinely want to be there. I’ve had sex with guys who weren’t ‘good at sex’ but still enjoyed it because I was really into them."
"They are convinced they know more about what works for you than you know yourself. Just cause your ex-lover Pat liked technique X doesn't mean everyone does."
"Have experienced this, it sucks. He wouldn’t listen to what I enjoyed, didn’t want me to say ANYTHING even if it hurt or wasn’t working, and would just say something along the lines of 'every other woman I’ve been with liked it.' I’m thinking, all you’ve had are one-night stands, really, so they probably didn’t say anything."
"I’ve had numerous partners and love sex. Crashed and burned with this one and he really crushed my self-esteem and sexual confidence."
"The biggest thing is always going to be selfishness and the inability/refusal to communicate and listen to your partner. I've seriously had a guy yell 'I KNOW HOW TO DO IT!' when I was trying to tell him how I liked whatever he was doing. He then got even more upset when I said 'did you just f**king yell at me? Alright, off, I'm done.'"
FlavorsAmanda Seales Wow GIF by truTVGiphy
"Lack of variety. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean crazy kinks or positions from the karma sutra, but more when it's really predicable. I has an ex that had this weird routine of positions, it was exactly the same every single f**king time in exactly the same order."
Sex. Let's be better at it.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Love is so elusive these days isn't it?
Who knows what anyone is looking for in the relationship department anymore.
It's all too exhausting.
But people we keep trying.
RedditorProblemNice5257wanted to hear why so many people are still on the hunt for that perfect one. They asked:
"Why are you single right now?"
I'm single because I've given up. And I'm good. For now.
PeaceSnoop Dogg Reaction GIFGiphy
"I put absolutely no effort into meeting someone."
"Same! Also it's extremely difficult when you feel so at peace being by yourself. The fact that I have to find someone whose presence outweighs my level of comfort being alone seems impossible."
"Hard to meet people when you are a hermit."
"Yeah, I describe myself as a shut-in, lol. I leave my apartment to work, I leave my apartment to buy food, and occasionally I’ll bring out the trash, otherwise I just watch Hulu, play online chess, surf Reddit."
"Same. I've spent months trying to find an apartment I can afford without a roommate and finally settled on a small studio apartment for $1100 a month because I'd rather living in a tiny space and be left the hell alone than share a much nicer place even with a good friend."
"I have too many unsolved issues, i can't in good conscience bring someone else into them."
"Idk your issues but everyone's got some crap. Not sure how unique yours are but everyone's got some crap. It's good to share some of your struggles with other people. Just don't open with it haha."
"Issues unresolved or not, (in my case) only makes it worse when you feel like you could open up to them, and they just take those to use it against yourself afterwards."
"I hardly go out and expose myself to people. I'm uncomfortable with the notion of myself being in a relationship at this point. Also, I'm very dry in terms of personality."
"I spent a year entirely isolated due to covid and now I can't handle physical contact. It makes me really uncomfortable and a hug is enough to make my body shut down. I'm hopeless."
truthCaptain America Lol GIF by mtvGiphy
"Supply chain issue."
"Best answer here."
That's funny. But it feels oddly true.
Ahhh...Think Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy
"I'm attracted to many, and unattractive to all."
"Last relationship was so toxic, I've sworn off dating, at least for awhile. I haven't had this much free time in ages. It's nice."
"Edit: Hey, it's really great hearing from so many people with similar experiences. Like many of you, I've been taking it in stride and focusing on bettering myself, both physically and mentally. It's done wonders for my health and I feel a whole lot better. I wish y'all the very best. Stay excellent, my friends."
"I'm 35yr old single father to a 5yr old and I work nights. It's hard to find free time to meet someone, especially in my area. If I do have free time to myself, I like staying home and ordering a pizza while drinking some beers and playing video games. I pretty much faced the fact that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life."
"I was in an 8 year relationship (married for two) to my high school sweetheart. Exactly this same time last year, we got divorced because I found out he was cheating on me with my best friend. The best friend I had known LONGER than him and was friends with since fourth grade."
"She was living with us to try to get back on her feet. Yeah lol. So I lost my best friend and the man I had been with for 8 years within the same night. So I moved to another state, got an apartment by myself, and am now single and divorced all by 26. Not really looking unless the right person comes along."
"It’s pretty happy and peaceful now that they’re both out of my life though honestly. You realize people’s toxicity and flaws the most once you get space away from them."
Bad LoopSeth Meyers Whatever GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"Because my relationships end before they even begin."
"This is my story right here."
Alright. Now that we've laid out all the excuses, let's get to matching with some people.
There is no bigger mystery than what happens to us after we die.
But even those who don't practice an organized religion tend to believe that there is a Heaven, a happy joyful place where our souls will remain for eternity.
No two people share the same idea of what heaven would be like, but everyone who believes in it probably has an idea of the first thing they'd do after entering the pearly gates.
Redditor WeDidItGuyz was curious to hear what would be top on everyone's list upon entering the afterlife, leading them to ask:
"If heaven exists, what’s the first thing you’d do?"
Overcome with joy
"In all reality?"
"Probably cry for about 30 minutes because the biggest existential fear at the very core my humanity has now been lifted."
"If Heaven exists, like 50% of the awesomeness is just the very fact that it exists."heaven gate GIF by South Park Giphy
A re-match long in the making
"Ask my childhood friend Kevon for a race."
"He used to beat me handily when were younger (9-13) and he’d always brag."
"When I got older and faster I moved away so I was never able to race him again."
"We arranged for a race but he was shot multiple times and bound to a wheelchair until he passed a few years ago."
"I wanna race him both in our prime."- Abethegreat1
Reunite with loved ones
"Find my husband, give him a huge hug and never let go again."
"Live our forever together."
"I f*cking love him and miss him so much."- jessdfrench
"Embrace my sweet wife and tell her how proud I am of the kids."- RifleShower
"Try to find my brother."
"Man, I miss him."
"He died in 2020 at age 34."- grummlinds1
"Give my mum and dad a big hug."- goonerjack007Miss U GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
Achieve the "firsts" we never got to do
"Find my son and have a beer with him."
"Something we never got to do in real life."- tanukis_parachute
Hone new skills
"Try to play Smoke on the water on my harp."- Ashtar-the-Squid
The joy of doing nothing
"Rest."- BanzaikoowaidCare Free Black Girls GIF by AuroraDrawsGiphy
Live on without pain
"Enjoy my healthy back without pain."- Knackbein_
Who knows what's in store for us after our lives come to an end.
But living with the idea that something wonderful awaits when our time has come is all people need to continue to live their lives to the fullest, and treat others with the respect and kindness they deserve.
"Fun facts" generally refers to a tidbit of information about a specific topic which the general public might not have otherwise known about.
But the first word in that term can be misleading.
Indeed, some "fun facts" reveal information that isn't remotely "fun" in the slightes.
Redditor Alternative_kachocho was curious to hear some "fun facts" which were anything but fun, leading them to ask:
What's a 'fun fact' that isn’t fun at all?"
Ironically, something you likely don't think about...
"Your brain blocks you from feeling your organs moving around inside you."- Aydengeist06
Try watching Finding Nemonow...
"Only one in a thousand sea turtles born actually make it to adulthood."- Sebs_123
Shocking new light on an age old classic
"In the books, Stuart Little was never explicitly called a mouse."
"He's pretty much described as a deformed mouse-esque person born form human parents."- Red_Beard47stuart little mouse GIF by VIASAT3Giphy
Nature running it's course...
"There's a bird that feeds its younger offspring to the eldest."- Teacup_Cult
I have no allergies... yet
"Speaking from personal experience here, but your body can randomly decide to become allergic to damn near everything edible at any time."
"Not very fun."- smallemochick
Those poor, innocent creatures.
"In some regions of Australia, 90 percent of koalas have chlamydia, which poses a threat to the species' extinction unless a vaccine is created or widespread koala culling takes place."- tiffanyjcrusekoalas kiss GIFGiphy
They'd still be here if they weren't so delicious...
"The giant tortoise was so delicious, it caused not only itself to be hunted to extinction, but also the dodo."
"Giant tortoise meat was supposedly better tasting than chicken."
"It's fat tasted better spread on bread than butter."
"Also, it was the perfect food for sailors at the time, as their bladders stored 1 litre of purified water, and they could survive without food in hibernation for almost a whole year in the hull of a ship."
"Not to mention, because they evolved without humans, they were easy to hunt."
"You could tie one to your back, and roll another to the ship and they would just let you."
"It was so delicious, they went unrecorded for a long time because expeditions to bring living samples of wildlife to Europe kept eating them on the way."
"Conversely, the dodo, while as easily captured by sailors, tasted awful."
"It was completely unpalatable."
"HOWEVER, one day, someone discovered if you cooked dodo meat in the more delicious tortoise fat, it tasted just like chicken."
"So now, sailors were hunting a few tortoises at a time for their fat and water, storing them, and then hunting dodos on the daily."
"Overhunting, plus the introduction of rats to the environment (because sailors) which would eat eggs, led go the population to decline at a rate they could not breed to keep up, leading to both animals going extinct."- Kyhan
Don't forget the nose plugs
"Antarctica smells like penguin poop."
"Antarctica is a desert, it is too cold for bacteria to live."
"Nothing there to clean up penguin droppings."
"If you are close enough to see penguins, you will also smell them."- gummby8
Makes those long lines so worth it...
"The TSA missed 96% of contraband during an inspection in 2015."- omegasix321All Falls Down Tsa GIF by Kanye WestGiphy
"The person who had the first facial transplant had her face chewed up by her Labrador dog while asleep due to sleeping pill overdose." - User Deleted
It's hard not to read some of these "fun facts" and wonder if there should be an alternative term for the facts which aren't fun.
Oh yeah, probably not....