Single men who are ready to leave their bachelor lives behind and pursue relationships may have one obstacle they're not quite ready to face – rejection.
That prohibits most of us from having the courage to ask someone out. Some people's egos are way too fragile.
So how do you encourage someone to throw caution to the wind and take a chance on love? Just tell them to go for it. Besides, what's the worst that can happen?
Apparently, it turns out there are some worst-case scenarios as experienced by these single cisgender males who were turned down and drop-kicked to the curb after asking a girl out.
Curious to hear about their shattered self-esteem, Redditor JadenYuki15 asked:
"Dear boys of reddit, we all know the whole, 'the worst thing she can say is no,' and that its bs. What's the worst rejection you've ever received
The zingers here really dented these Redditors' self-esteem.
"I asked a girl out in high school and she just looked at her friends, said eww, and walked away. It crushed my self esteem for months."
A Horrible Person
"There was this girl I was on good terms with. Good friends for a number of years, always had a crush on her but just decided I was done hiding that. So I asked her out."
"You'd do much better asking a face surgeon for a consultation. I'm going to take a shower. Bye."
"Yeah...I mean, we were good friends, a simple 'no' would have sufficed. Unsurprisingly our friendship didn't last much longer because boy oh boy she turned into a horrible person. And by that I mean she started hanging with some really f'ked up people, and when I did actually end up in a relationship, she got super jealous (the f'k) and tried her best to end it. And she succeeded."
"At a bar with a friend, I asked a girl for her number and she said, 'I have one but not for you.' I went back to my friend and we laughed and got drunk."
The Bad Insult
"I asked someone out and she said she'd pardon my language: never go out with a 'retard.' I have borderline intellectual functioning but she called me that because I was in special Ed classes. Here I am at 27 and haven't asked anyone out since high school."
"I'm sorry. I don't date people that don't exist."
Salt On The Wound
In addition to being rejected, more humiliation was to come for these poor guys.
"I went to school with a girl I ended up nicknaming JK."
"Her initials were actually JK, so she never thought much about it, but I called her that because she was always 'just kidding'."
"She would flirt with you nonstop, making you think she really had a thing for you, until you built up the courage to ask her out. Then she'd laugh and say she didn't think about you like that."
"Weeks later she'd start flirting again, really pouring it on that she wanted you, rinse and repeat."
"Wasn't 'the worst' rejection or anything but man was it aggravating to keep falling for it!"
The Popular Girl
"I asked a girl out privately in highschool, she rejected me politely but told everyone at school that I asked her out. That would have been fine but she is a popular girl in highschool while I am an ordinary, unnoticeable student. Every boys that liked her bullied me until the end of the year for confessing to her."
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"Making small talk at a bar with a girl and offered to buy her a drink. She said 'nooo, I'll buy you a drink!' Can't argue with that, I thought, and accepted."
"She got me a gutter shot... Apparently she was dating the bartender and it was a thing they did whenever she got hit on."
"Ninja edit: a gutter shot is when the bartender scoops up a shot glass full of whatever spilled drinks ended up in the trough behind the bar. It's disgusting and probably not sanitary. Anyway, she was a b*tch and that bartender was an a**hole. I left without paying and never went back."
Twisting The Knife
"I told a girl in high school i had feelings for her and then she completely ignored it and told me about how she was f'king her personal trainer and proceeded to send me pictures of them together."
"She laughed in my face and said, 'Oh, you were serious? I don't date short guys.' I'm 5'4."
"6 years later I'm doing very well, she is couch-surfing."
"Saw her at a bar recently and she didn't recognize me, partly because I grew a beard and partly because she was so sloshed."
"She tried to hit on me, and I'm actually proud that I just said no thanks, but I'm flattered."
"Proud of myself, sad for her."
Scorned Dance Partner
"Girl I was in to in middle school, who was supposedly into me to. We used to dance at the dances, kind of. At the end of one, everyone was pairing up for the next dance, so I asked her if she wanted to go to the next dance with me. No hesitating, she just said no. Hurt like hell. But I still had feelings for her and it ruined a possible relationship later because I couldn't let that girl go."
The Shallow Date
"A friend set me up on a date with a wonderful woman and we got along well. But when I took off my hat and revealed that I was bald, she gasped and walked briskly to the bathroom."
The passive aggressive type of rejection cuts deeper.
"I met this girl at a Metal concert (specifically Gwar), she came up to me and was scared because of the mosh pit, and insisted I hold onto her because I was the biggest guy there (6'5" and 250lbs), she was cute so of course I did. After the show ended I forgot to get her number but gave her a drumstick of one of the opening bands. Fast forward a few days later I get a message on Facebook asking if I was the guy who gave her the drum stick, and I said yes. We ended up hanging out, a few times, got lunch, and I asked her out, I was told she does not date younger guys (she I guess was 25, I was 20 at the time), Fast forward a few days later, I find out she was dating an 18 year old so surprised me with a curveball."
"I bought a girl a few drinks at a nightclub in my early twenties. After about 3 drinks, I asked her if she wanted to come hang with my friends and I. She leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek and says 'Thanks for the drinks I have to get back to my boyfriend now.' My guy friends were laughing their a**es off."
The Prom Date
"Asked a girl to our prom in high school. She said someone already asked her. She came with her brother."
Based on these responses, it seems some rejections are no worse than any of the others.
Although it may still sting, "I'm just not that into you" is better than a cruel punchline harsh enough to annihilate a dude's self-esteem, stomp it to pieces, and pour acid all over it.
The good news is, the ones who have the capacity to insult you at a vulnerable moment are the ones you would not want to take home and introduce to mom.
Don't give up hope, gents. There's definitely a keeper out there somewhere for you who will be worth the wait.
The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
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"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
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"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
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"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
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"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.