People Imagine What Jobs Would Be Unncessary If Everyone Actually Told The Truth
People Imagine What Jobs Would Be Unnecessary If Everyone Actually Told The Truth
[rebelmouse-image 18354461 is_animated_gif=Imagine a world in which honesty dominates everything. Would it be better? How would society change?
weirdbacon asked, If everyone told the truth and was 100% honest, what jobs would become unnecessary?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
More relevant today than ever.
[rebelmouse-image 18354463 is_animated_gif=Companies that do background checks, maybe?
Bye-bye F.B.I.
[rebelmouse-image 18354464 is_animated_gif=Being a spy.
They're not actually channeling your granny.
[rebelmouse-image 18354465 is_animated_gif=Mediums.
D.N.A. doesn't lie, but people do.
[rebelmouse-image 18354466 is_animated_gif=Detective.
Sorry but... not much honesty here.
[rebelmouse-image 18354467 is_animated_gif=Psychics.
"Tbh, our product is pretty mediocre."
[rebelmouse-image 18354468 is_animated_gif=Advertisers would have it rough.
Buy our product! Because.. ummm... someone likes it?
Just leave exact change, please.
[rebelmouse-image 18354469 is_animated_gif=No shops would need to be staffed with cashiers.
Customers could go in, take what they needed, and put the money owed in a box or tray or something.
TV would never lie to me. Ever.
[rebelmouse-image 18354470 is_animated_gif=People who write commercials.
That's not bluffing, that's LYING.
[rebelmouse-image 18354472 is_animated_gif=Professional poker player.
"Why yes, our service is terrible."
[rebelmouse-image 18345699 is_animated_gif=I don't know about unnecessary, but customer service would become very difficult.
Don't even get me started...
[rebelmouse-image 18354473 is_animated_gif=Megachurches.
Now even though I'm an atheist, I don't really think of regular centers of worship as dishonest. They believe what they believe, and so saying what they believe to be true is not an attempt to be dishonest.
Megachurches ain't that. Megachurches are where giant lying charismatic scumbags swindle the poor and desperate out of what little they have, in the vain hope of a miracle.
In a world with no dishonesty, they wouldn't work out so well.
Wanna buy some knives?
[rebelmouse-image 18354474 is_animated_gif=Multi-level marketing (MLM). I'm sure lots people would be relieved not having to grind and lie so much for a position entirely based off of 100% commission pay.
Polygraphs become a thing of the past.
[rebelmouse-image 18354475 is_animated_gif=Lie detector dude would be unemployed.
Wouldn't it be nice if they told the truth?
[rebelmouse-image 18354476 is_animated_gif=Politician.
It sure seems that way, far too often.
[rebelmouse-image 18354477 is_animated_gif=This world is built on lies. Half of the jobs would disappear.
The verdict would be obvious.
[rebelmouse-image 18354478 is_animated_gif=Juries in a court of law
Awful lotta witches on this hunt...
[rebelmouse-image 18354479 is_animated_gif=Robert Mueller would be conspicuously out of work.
I paid my taxes, I swear.
[rebelmouse-image 18354480 is_animated_gif=I'd be unemployed as an auditor.
They can't all be true...
[rebelmouse-image 18349114 is_animated_gif=Either all religious jobs or all but one religion.
Acting would become impossible.
[rebelmouse-image 18346018 is_animated_gif=Actors.
The audience must be engaged from the start. Filmmakers have the challenge of quickly trying to win over moviegoers in the hopes that they'll remain invested in the succession of events about to unfold.
Some films fail to deliver on their promise of wowing audiences with a misleading or clumsy opening–while others brilliantly pull it off.
Strangers online discussed some of their favorite films when Redditor ah-screw-it asked:
"What movie has the greatest opening of all time?"
These cinematic masterpieces impressed audiences from the get-go.
Epic Pan
"Contact."
"Starting at Earth, then panning out of the solar system, then the galaxy, then out to the edge of the universe, all while listening to older and older radio transmissions. Genius."
– Midnight-Ran
The Dystopian Thriller
"Children of mens opening scene is definitely up there."
– Ahhhsnowmen88
"Whole film is a work of art."
– nutmeggerking
"Goodfellas"
"As far back as I remember, I always wanted to be a gangster"
– geobass76
"People looked at me differently and they knew I was with somebody. At thirteen, I was making more money than most of the grown-ups in the neighborhood. I mean, I had more money than I could spend. I had it all. One day the kids from the neighborhood carried my mother's groceries all the way home. You know why? It was out of respect."
– MR_NIKAPOPOLOS
Oh, the horror!
There's nothing like a serious jolt to kick-start an action or horror flick.
Killer Opening
"Scream 1996 - I was startled."
– RavenGirls
"What really sold the opening at the time was the fact they really played up Drew Barrymore as starting in the film. So much so that she’s the main draw on the poster. The entire theater was shocked."
– Cheese_booger
From "Inglorious Bastards"
"Au revoir Shoshana!"
– fearthebeard037
"Tarantino said he kept Waltz out of all the rehearsals so that the reactions from the cast on film would be genuine."
"And one point when he asks one of the daughters to get him some milk, he grabs her wrist is a friendly way. Waltz later said that his character had the ulterior motives of checking her pulse to see if she was nervous. The subtly of his character was as terrifying as anything."
– UnfairMicrowave
Master of Shock Value
"Tarantino openings are, by and large, some of the most iconic there have ever been."
– throwdownhardstyle
The establishing shots in these iconic movie classics raised the bar for the next generation of film directors.
Trippy And Mind-Bending
"The Matrix."
– Living_Murphys_Law
"Screenwriter guy: We're gonna start the movie with some cops trying to arrest this lady Trinity and she's gonna kick all their butts."
"Producer guy: How is she gonna do that?"
"Screenwriter guy: In such a way that movies are gonna try to imitate for a full decade."
– Wilma_Tonguefit
Iconic Archaeologist
"Raiders of the Lost Ark!!"
"No contest. It’s movie magic defined."
– canadianleroy
Spielberg's War Film
"Saving Private Ryan."
– astragalblack
"I knew a few survivors from ww2. One of them was a medic in the first wave of Omaha beach. He didn’t speak often about the war but he said the movie was pretty darn close to being what it was really like."
– EnderOfHope
A Gangster Genre Landmark
"The Godfather. That opening scene with Brando, the cat, the music. Just perfection!."
– REAIMY
Don't underestimate cartoons.
"It's The Circle Of Life"
"Lion king"
– wetlettuce42
"Using that opening as the movie's official trailer was absolutely brilliant. When that trailer dropped, it was an event. Every kid was counting down the days for when it came out, we all knew that movie was going to be life-changing."
– QuarantineTitans
When Reality And Toons Collided
"Who Framed Roger Rabbit was classic!"
– prince-pauper
"The transition from cartoon to the real world cartoon kitchen was so well done."
– Spongedanfozpants
Disney films in the 90s did a fantastic job setting up their opening shots.
I have to give props to 1991's Beauty and the Beast for its brilliant prologue–owing its effectiveness in part to Alan Menken's haunting musical underscore.
The stained glass art depiction of how the spiteful prince came to be forever transformed by a curse with the narrator concluding the introduction with, "for who could ever learn to love a beast"–before introducing our heroine in the musical number "Belle"–remains a powerful opener preceding Lion King's "Circle of Life" in 1994.
No matter how happy we are with our lives, most of us can think of at least one thing that we wish we could have done differently.
Even if that just means starting to do the same things a little bit sooner.
Feeling reflective, Redditor AbortiveBases1 asked:
"What's something you wish you started doing sooner?"
Letting People Go
"Learning that just because someone is your friend for a long time doesn't mean you have to deal with their toxicity or narcissistic behavior."
"You can leave those friendships. It sucks at first but it's worse staying friends with people like that."
- SadStone2265
Getting Divorced
"My mom and dad got divorced in 2022 when my siblings and I were all between the ages of 27 and 31."
"We couldn't be happier. It could (and should) have happened way earlier, like 10 to 15 years earlier. Our childhood definitely suffered for it."
"I have no complaints about my mom, she's the best lady ever, but things would've been a lot more pleasant at home if they divorced then."
- doomed_danny
Creative Outlet
"Making things."
"I 3D print, do woodwork, and do home renovations. It’s made me more self-confident (I now usually believe I can do anything), more creative, and changed the way my brain works."
"I can’t imagine what kind of person I’d be today if I had been doing this all throughout my 20s."
- AirZurk
Sugar Intake
"Weaning myself off sugar."
- CouldMurderACarvery
The Perfect Partner
"My wife. She's the granddaughter of a friend of my aunt, so I could have met her a lot sooner, but we only met when I was 29."
"The way we clicked together and got lost in conversation with each other... I only wish it had started sooner."
- netheroth
"You can't guarantee that you would have clicked earlier."
"It was the same with my wife, I had met a bunch of her close friends over the years through friends and vice versa. There are pictures of us at the same events when we were 17, 18, and 20, but we just never met. Ships passing in the night."
"We met finally at 29 and realized we had all the things in common and clicked immediately and are happily married with a beautiful two-year-old."
"Looking back, had we met at 17, I don't think we would have gotten together. We both had a lot of growing to do before we were right for each other."
- sirhcdobo
Ditch the Hustle
"Focusing on friends instead of the grind."
"I worked two jobs through the 2010s. As a freelance digital artist at night, I made a lot of 'friends' through conventions, online chat groups, and social media."
"However, the pandemic hit, and the conventions closed. Freelance business dried up. Our clients disappeared. With my evenings more open, I focused more intently on ascending in my day job, and now only have one or two contacts left from my digital art years."
"They're all I have left. And we don't even talk that much."
"I'm working on rebuilding a friends circle, trying to reconnect with everyone who still remembers me, lives close enough, and didn't die years ago unbeknownst."
"It's an awkward process, trying to again find similar interests now that everyone has a wife, kids, and home to take care of, while I seem to have dropped out of a time portal from 2003."
- QuarantineTitans
Understanding Mental Health
"My wife."
"But seriously, endorphins."
"And understanding the importance of endorphins on mental health."
"Even a small amount of physical activity has a major improvement on my mental health, energy, and moods."
- ksozay
Work History
"I wish I'd started working sooner."
"My mom sent me money for food and essentials while I was in college because she said a job would just distract me from getting good grades. Unfortunately, she simply forgot to send the money, a lot."
- stellathewizard
Home Yoga Sessions
"At-home yoga. It's free AND my back doesn't hurt anymore!"
- mekkimegz
Prioritizing Sleep
"Enforcing my own bedtime. My mood is 1,000% better on days when I get enough sleep."
- lights_camera_pizza
The Value of Therapy
"Therapy. Seriously, if you are considering seeing a therapist, then just do it."
- Avjycjc8ttghu478
Exercise Routine
"Two-a-day workouts. Once you figure out intensity pacing and treating one as a 'light' workout, it’s not hard."
"Getting up at 5:30 most days isn’t awesome, but I get 14, 45-min hits of exercise almost every week, and I’ve never had as much energy, positivity, and overall health. Plus, weight management-wise, I can eat d**n near anything I want to. I had a 'mostly' clean diet before, so I wasn’t going bonkers. But it makes eating pretty enjoyable."
- superstarrrr99
Better Self-Talk
"Replacing self-depreciative jokes with sarcastic compliments on myself."
"For example, instead of saying, 'My hair looks like something died in it,' say, 'I was born a queen. Look how great I look on a bad hair day too!'"
"Fake it till you make it kinda works. Eventually, I'm not feeling as insecure about myself as I used to."
- saagarammm
Sentimental Photos
​"Taking pictures with my husband and kids. I hate the way I look in pictures so usually, I’m the one behind the camera. It wasn’t until last year that I read a post here on Reddit that made me change my way of thinking."
"It said something along the lines of, kids don't see wrinkles, extra fat, or bad hair. You know, all the things we nitpick about ourselves. They just see Mom."
- Dazzling-Nature-6380
The Next Phase
"Retirement. Did it at 68 but was enjoying running my own publishing business, so I stayed on."
"Now in retirement, I’m having a blast doing so many things I never previously had time for that I wish I’d taken the plunge at 60, or earlier. (Let that be a lesson to all you young ‘uns out there.)"
- SkepticalSenior9133
While it's so easy to regret things in our lives, sometimes it's important to think about the things we're doing right.
Sometimes we'll be so proud of what we're doing, we'll only regret not getting a jump on it sooner.
People Break Down Which Things Have Gotten Worse And More Expensive At The Same Time
Over the course of time, we often find ourselves discovering things we once loved as a child that didn't turn out to be quite as wonderful as we remember.
Up to and including a restaurant we used to love, a clothing brand we almost exclusively shopped at, or an amusement park which dazzled us when we were young. While the disappointment could be owed to a slightly foggy memory, there might have also been an overall decline in quality at any and all of those places.
Making this experience all the more perplexing, however, is the fact that the less happy experience was much more expensive than it was when these same things brought us joy.
A curious imbalance indeed.
"What has simultaneously gotten worse and more expensive?"
So Much For The $1 Menu
"Fast food."
"I rarely eat it, but every time I do it seems more expensive and I feel horrible after."- TheSecretStuffs
Fast Food Cheeseburger GIFGiphyHence The Shared Password...
"Netflix."- Lazy_Adhesiveness812
Nothing I Couldn't Make Better At Home...
"Going out to eat, Restaurants."
"It used to be fun, now it's too expensive and the experience has become mediocre."- mojoisthebest
"Dining out for sure."
"Mid tier restaurants are using lower quality food, much of it prepackaged from major suppliers, prices are up and service is terrible."
"Many of our local restaurants have gotten away from table service and you order from a counter and pick up your own food."
"I don’t go out often, but I do go out expecting a decent meal and service."- Caspers_Shadow
gordon ramsay cooking GIF by Gordon Ramsay's 24 Hours to Hell and BackGiphySometimes Bigger Is Better...
"Bars of chocolate."
"It used to be a fairly cheap and substantial treat when I was kid, but they keep getting smaller and smaller and they're ridiculously expensive now."- eezgorriseadback
You'd Think They'd Have Solved This Problem By Now...
"Most technology designed to be replaced every few years."
"We used to design things to last."
"Now we design things to wear out so people keep buying new ones."- riphitter
Lucky For Vegetarians...
"Meat from the supermarket."- pretty_monotonous
Supermarket Sweep Shopping GIF by ABC NetworkGiphyNo Matter Where You Get It...
"Food, in general."- BillyBobBarkerJrJr
Renting Or Buying...
"Housing."- pineconewashington
Something's Afoul...
"Scented candles."
"In fact, what used to be the premier candle, Yankee Candle had so gone down in quality the son of the original founder of Yankee Candle made his own company based on the original premise, quality, and scents of the original candles."
"It's called Kringle candle, but they're not available everywhere, so unfortunately, Yankee Candle it is."
"Yankee Candle, while never cheap, were of good quality and smelled good."
"Now the scents aren't as strong, the candles tunnel way too easily (they never used to do that), and they don't burn evenly."
"Yet they cost up to twice as much."- llcucf80
christmas sniffs GIF by TargetGiphyEspecially In America
"Education."- Inevitable-Ad-6315
Especially Over The Last Three Years...
"Living."- Callistai
Things Ain't What They Used To Be
"AirBnb, Uber, Lyft, and pretty much everything else that has always been too good to be true."- CatherineConstance
When Even The Nosebleeds Are Too Expensive...
"Tickets to major sporting events."
"I read somewhere that going to a family of 4 going to an NFL game is like on average a $1000+ expense."
"Who in the world is paying for that?"- lUNITl
Jacking up the price of anything is an easy way to make people believe it must be a quality product.
Even if customers will quickly realize they did not get their money's worth.
It's easy to roll our eyes at the ludicrous things people still somehow believe.
For instance, the earth is flat, or the moon landing never happened.
All of which are nothing more than sensational conspiracy theories with no facts to back them up.
That being said, even those who laugh at others for believing ludicrous things often still believe a conspiracy theory or two of their own.
"What's a conspiracy theory you believe is 100% true?"
Anything Found On Reddit
"I would believe any conspiracy theory that explains why I see a version of this question in my feed 3 times per day."- Longjumping_Ad_6988
Hold On To Your Butts
"Several years back, Samuel L Jackson did an AMA."
"He announced it a few days before and said he would read, up to 300 words, any statement that was the highest voted."
"The initial comment that was in the lead was a series of words for a gps system."
"Left, right, turn, 1,2,3,4,5 etc and of course motherf*cker."
"Halfway through though, another comment took the lead and ended up winning."
"It was a rather bland announcement that he was retiring from acting and taking up a life of crime fighting."
'Till the end of time, I will believe that his team said there was no way he was going to read a script that would immediately be posted to create a product that he would not get paid for."
'I am sure Reddit admins put their thumb on the scale to get the other comment to win."- frodosbitch
Samuel L Jackson Wink GIF by LionsgateGiphyMystery DNA Collection...
"When I was in middle school some group came and had every kid in the grade fingerprinted and mouth swabbed as a 'If My Child Goes Missing' packet for the children and parents."
"We got a copy of our fingerprints with our name on a form."
"And the sticker from that form was put on the tubes the mouth swabs would go back into."
"They set up in our gymnasium and the whole school of about 500 kids did it."
"I believe that was just a super easy way to get biometrics on the population before cellphones became popular."
"This was early mid 2000s."
"I’ve always wondered exactly who got that dna."- Equivalent_Seat6470
"I’m still convinced all these DNA test kits will be used/sold as a means to do things like deny medical coverage, plant evidence at crime scenes, population surveillance on a biometric level, etc."
"Got one as a gift once, handed it right back."
"NOPE."- nomadiceater
"The Candy Man..."
"The Ms on M&Ms have always been Ws."
"Willy & Wonka."- NorthernGamer71
Willy Wonka Smile GIFGiphy"Cost Cutting" My A**...
"All the recent tech layoffs (except Metas) weren't about cutting costs but about making workers afraid again and trying to claw back some of the leverage workers had been gaining."- boones_farmer
Maps Be Damned
"Bielefeld, Germany, does not exist."- Mikeavelli
They're Not Fooling Anyone
"Area 51 is where the US develop and test Intelligence, Surveillance, Tracking and Reconnaissance equipment, and the UFOs people are are actually new forms of surveillance equipment."- dazedan_confused
Area 51 GIF by MOODMANGiphyWhy They Didn't Release The Snyder Cut...
"DC makes sh*tty movies to give people comic book fatigue to spite marvel."- Season8isGreat
All In The Eye of The Beholder...
"That Contemporary art is used to launder money."
"Look it up. It makes sense."
"Rich person buys an art piece for $1,000, turns around and values it at $1,000,000, then sells it to a private buyer for 1.5x it's value."
"The buyer pays with a form of legal tender (cash) that cash has now been cleaned and is in the rich persons pocket, then he goes and commissions more art and repeats the cycle."
"After 5 years he has cleaned more money than offshore accounts, shell corporations, and high cash flow businesses could in 50 years."- Weird-Replacement-61
Bored Modern Art GIF by unimpressionismGiphySeriously though, who actually uses change?
"The 'coin shortage' is just a way to have us all move to using our debt/credit cards and digital currency 100% of the time."
"When that finally happens, the government will have full access to viewing our funds and income and can freeze it whenever they want, which would give them full power over the economy."- Tomb5t0ne
Who Actually Bought Baseball?
"Michael Jordan’s first 'retirement' was because he was suspended for gambling."- trojan_man16
What Else Would "Central Intelligence" Mean...
"CIA drugging US citizens without their knowledge to learn how to manipulate people's minds."- Xtrepiphany
cia GIFGiphySome people will believe literally anything they're told.
But just about everyone believes at least one sensational fact with zero evidence to back it up.