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People Explain How A Game Of Hide And Seek Went Horribly Wrong

People Explain How A Game Of Hide And Seek Went Horribly Wrong
Photo by Mikhail Vasilyev on Unsplash

Look, when you let kids go off on their own to hide with the sole purpose of staying hidden, no matter what, things...happen.

Like these things.

Reddit user, u/reddwings, wanted to hear:

When did a game of hide and seek go horribly wrong?

Let's Start Big!

We had just recently moved into our neighborhood and my sister (5 at the time) was playing hide and seek with a neighbor kid. Long story short, kid couldn't find her, all the adults started going around the neighborhood shouting for her, it was getting dark, after awhile my parents called the police....

Someone eventually found her and she said she did hear everyone looking for her but she was playing hide and seek so duh she wasn't coming out until someone found her! Parents called the police back and told them not to come. That's how we met most of our neighbors.

theonewithkatie

This Is Why You Have The Buddy System At The Beach

That one time I played hide and seek with my elementary school class at the beach.

I thought they never found me because I hid so well, Turns out they actually left me where I was while they played other games without me for the rest of the day.

When I finally asked what happened it was time to leave and no parent believed me when I said they abandoned me.

Vlamingo200

This Is Why You Don't Watch Ice Age

I know I'm late to this, but still remembered this. Me and my parents went to a family friends house out in the country side. There were about 10 or 15 other kids there, and I was the youngest (maybe about 7).

We decided to play hide and seek. I was found the first 2 rounds, but then up in the games room in the attic I realized the cupboards weren't locked (low down, ground level). I was able to fit in one full of workout stuff (dumbbells, etc). I couldn't close the door fully, so I thought I was gonna be caught quick.

I'd say about... an hour passed? An hour and a half? I had heard ppl moving around the game room looking for hiders. Eventually I hadn't heard anything for a while. I crept out and went downstairs to the kitchen for a drink.

And I found everyone else. Watching Ice Age. They had straight up forgotten about me. If I hadn't gotten out for a drink, god knows when they would have realized I was still missing..

Crazy_CocoIRL

This Is Why You Don't Play In The Dark

It was summer time, and I would've been about 12 or 13. All of the neighborhood kids got together to play hide & seek/ tag in the dark, with one of the swing sets being the safe zone.

Now mind you, it was one of those big a-- wooden swing sets. I was hauling ass to the safe zone, and did not see the big wooden beam in front. I ran into it, full speed. Got my first nose bleed and a minor concussion that night.

10/10 recommend.

evaldictator

This Is Why You Don't Mess With The Babysitter

I was 5 or so and I hid in a laundry basket in a closet and put down towels on top of me. My babysitter couldn't find me and I went all-in and didn't say a thing. I was too embarrassed. He ended up calling my parents and they came home and panicked. I came out and everything was fine. I did notice how his voice increased in panic as I kept doing this

diamondrubypearl

This Is Why You Probably...Should Have Just Left...

Well...wife isn't happy this happened.

Wife & I and a big group of friends were at a friends parents farm for a 4th of July barbecue.

We had been out on the lake water skiing, now it was getting dark, and drinking and music was happening. Someone suggested we play hide and seek like we were all kids at camp again...well...I ended up under a tree that my ex girlfriend was under...we laid down and held still...nothing major happened...except they never found us and gave up looking...we didn't know how the game was progressing, so we stayed hidden for almost an hour.

We SHOULD have just come back and not told anyone we were hidden in the same place...but we had no idea the problems. Her new boyfriend made a stink and my wife waited until we got in the car to let me know she wasn't pleased. She calmed down eventually, but ex girlfriend just ended their relationship...

Oh, did I mention ex girlfriend was still in short shorts and bikini top since the lake...so the group was ruthless...

YouGet1ShotAtIt

This Is Why You Don't Call The Cops At Birthday Parties

At my 8th bday party I was playing hide and seek with my friends while the adults sat in the living room. We were running and shutting and opening doors whilst also screaming for some f-cking reason.

Well the neighbor's thought that all this door slamming and screaming of children meant child abuse so they called the cops. So my bday party was interrupted by the police who checked every room and interviewed every kid to make sure they were ok. Lmao the look on my moms face when she opened the door.

ihadricethisweek

This Is Why You Never Hide In A Place You Yourself Can't Get Out Of

About 7 years ago my friend had a bed, you can lift the frame under the matress for storage but it locks down and can only be opened from outside.

You can already see what 8yo me was thinking. My dumbass figured that if they found me, they'd have to lift the matress up to catch me, ultimately freeing me when I was found. Well this didn't happen. I was feeling claustrophobic and wanted to get out. So there is me now crying bc I'm stuck in the best hiding place EVER. My friend's mum comes into the room to see what the fuss is about. I was leftvin there bc it was funny to them. Never played hide and seek since that day

no_use_here

This Is Why You Make Sure Everyone Knows It's Your Birthday

If you ask me, when they started a new round because "everyone had been found" (except me) at MY birthday party.

top-shelf-twerp

This Is Why You Think Through Potentially Good Ideas

I thought I would be clever and hide underneath an abandoned vehicle in somebody's yard

it was covered with hornets nests underneath...

I was the first one found......

got 63 stings,the f-ckers chased me for a block, just like in a cartoon....cloud of bees behind me

peterjohnpeterson

This Is Why You--Ouch. Ouch. OUCH.

Before I was born my brothers and sisters played a game at my aunt's house down by the river. My eldest brother decided to hang by his fingertips inside the water well. Meanwhile and unknowing of that fact my other brother thought about hiding up inside the little steeple cover of the well and to get to it needed to slam shut the well cover. LMAO.

SLAM... blood curdling scream... Splash... Cries for help...

Between fits of unadulterated anger interspersed with disbelief and worry my aunt, grandmother and mom managed to get him pulled up which wasn't easy because with all of those smashed fingers of his he couldn't hold tight to a rope.

Kendermassacre

This Is Why You Enjoy Your Onion Volcano When You Can

I was a waiter and some kids from a party I was serving played hide and seek and about five minutes later they had to come back because the chef came to cook (tepanyaki restaurant).

There were two guardians looking after the children and one of them realised that a child was missing and freaked out it was like a mini man hunt in the restaurant (this was all done by the guardians since they didn't tell anyone, I just overheard them and decided to watch what they would do) , after about 5-10 min of searching the girl comes out crying 'they forgot about me' she was in the bathroom the whole time and she was quiet when they called for her because she thought they were still playing.

Unfortunate_Biscuit

This Is Why You Don't Pick On The Younger Sibling

When I was a kid my two older brothers would always make me be "it". One time the both hid in a trunk full of clothes. I was probably 6 or 7. So I decided to lock them in. Only I didn't have a key, they panicked like crazy and were having trouble breathing. The babysitter was going crazy. I think she broke the lock eventually. But it was some scary moments.

BretHanover

This Is Why You Don't Take Your Children To Lowe's

I managed to send an entire store on lockdown and freak out my entire family when I was maybe 5 years old.

My family was at Lowe's, and I decided to take my Kirby plushie with me and hide behind some shelves or boxes, and see if they could find me. Turns out they couldn't, and ran around outside because they thought someone kidnapped me. The entire store went on lockdown for a missing child, all the while I'm sitting, giggling and waiting for them to find me.

I eventually came out of hiding after my mom passed me, and got in huge trouble afterwards... I never hid in public again as a kid.

tuuturu

This Is Why You Stay Out Of The Forest

When I was about 8 years old my little brother who was 6 at the time and my little sister who was 3 years old, were playing some type of easy hide and seek in my grandparents' back yard. Well there are woods behind their house. Our sister being a defiant toddler ran into the woods and my brother just saw her run in and ran in after her. They were in the woods for hours because she ran in so deep and they both got turned around. Our brother found a hunting post, climbed up it into the tree, and found a way out.

They then knocked on doors, covered in dirt and scratched up, until someone answered. A woman gave them a ride back because our brother was able to point out landmarks to get back to our grandmother's house. They got back while my mother was on the phone with the cops. They were discussing a helicopter to find them. We were 'this' close to a search party. They walked a collective two to three miles. They could have gone miles deeper into rural woods if they didn't keep going one way and find the post.

So yeah watch your damn kids lol. Telling them "Don't go into the woods" does not guarantee they will listen.

EveryDisaster

This Is Why You Don't Go Near COFFINS

So when I was a wee kid and a scout, we played hide and seek in the dark. We usually played something like this every time the last 15 minutes.

It was a medium sized cabin, essentially. There was a lot of places to hide, lots of stuff just lying around. For some reason there was a coffin there and nobody, as far as I know, ever hid inside. Because it's a coffin, and that's just creepy.

But my smart-ss hid inside it. Unlucky for me, another guy also looking for a hiding spot saw me. He decided to lock the coffin I was inside of.

Yeah, I had clausrophobia for quite a while afterwards.

Ps. I have an intense hatred of the name Marcus since because that was the bastards name

TheQueenOfSomething

This Is Why...Yeah. Got Nothing For This One.

In my family this is know as The Massacre at Aunt Amber's farm.

We were at a family reunion at my Aunt Amber's farm. There were 5 kids. 2 city kids, two military brats(me), and my Aunt's daughter Lisa. Being bored by the adults we decided to head out into the farm and play. We settled on hide and seek and Lisa was It first. City kid one hid between a hay bale and a cow pen, city kid 2 hid under a feeding trough in the pig pen that was just cleaned and leaned next to the barn to dry, I decided to hide with the goats in on of their little huts. But the best(worst) was my cousin Nick. He hid in and empty plastic barrel by the horses.

Before Lisa finished counting we all started yelling or screaming. Kid 1 tried to move the hay bale closer to the fence when it shifted and squished him against the fence and he got stuck trying to wiggle out, kid 2 had a large pig lay up against the trough trapping him, I was getting chased around by the goat I just pissed off trying to hide in his hut, and Nick was being dragged around by the horses in their barrel toy. Lisa panics and runs for her parents who then proceed to rescue us. Me and kids 1 and two just get laughed at.

But we were told Nick could have actually been killed if the horses had decided to kick the barrel around.

Mr_Irishdude

This Is Why You Learn About History

My grandma was Jewish and she was playing hide and seek with her brother as kids. She hid well and was very happy, the thrill of excitement from finding the perfect spot. Nobody would find her there. Then, out of nowhere, a group of Nazi soldiers break in the house. My grandma told me this story and at this point, she starts crying. She told me she couldn't see anything, but she could hear the screams of her own family as they were carried away. Her mother, her father, her brother and her sister were all taken that and she never saw them again. She was left alone in this world. It had truly traumatized her to this day and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I was and still am horrified at this story.

She was lucky to be alive.

Hope you're at peace now grandma, rest in peace

RoDev455

People Who Wouldn't Quit Their Job If They Won The Lottery Explain What They Do

Reddit user BITE_AU_CHOCOLAT asked: 'People who wouldn't quit their job even if you won the lottery, what's your job?'

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
work

People Break Down The Biggest Bombshells Their Therapist Ever Dropped On Them

Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

therapy

People Describe The Most 'Small Town' Thing They've Ever Witnessed

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?

living

The Wittiest Things People Have Ever Heard Someone Say

Two women laughing
Photo by Dave George on Unsplash

Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.

More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.

Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.

Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.

Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:

"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"

Don't Give Me So Much Credit...

'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."

"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."

"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."

"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"

"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher

Eternal Optimism...

"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."

"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465

Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...

"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”

"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”

"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia

Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office Giphy

Double Whammy!

"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."

"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93

Can't Hide Your DNA...

'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."

"She cracked the code."

"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93

Self-Sufficient!

"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."

"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."

"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'

"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody

Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations Giphy

A Miracle!

"My brother-in-law’s comment."

"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."

"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."

"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."

"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."

"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."

"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"

"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn

Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...

"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."

"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."

"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."

"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."

"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379

Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K. Giphy

A Bit Too On The Nose?

"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."

"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."

"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."

"'What would you expect to find there?'"

"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB

Not Yet, Anyway...

"I was working with my friend and his dad."

"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."

"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."

"His dad asked, 'what for?'"

"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."

"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890

Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...

"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."

"She told this story to him:"

"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."

"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."

"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."

"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."

"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."

"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."

"She asked him what was wrong."

“'What’s wrong???'"

"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714

On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO Giphy

Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...

"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."

"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52

Read The Room People!

"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."

"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."

"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"

"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl

There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".

As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.


witty