You ever try to go to sleep at night only to find that you can't because your brain won't stop reminding you of some embarrassing thing you did when you were ten?
No?
Anyone?
Oh dear...
Just me?
Okay then...
After Redditor Pyrezz asked the online community, "What did you as a kid that makes you cringe when you remember it?" people shared their own stories.
"I put gum..."
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I put gum on my balls when I was five and freaked out when I couldn't get it off. Went to the living room crying to my parents, aunt, and uncle. That was damn near 30 years ago and I can still see my uncle laughing harder than anyone since. As a matter of fact any time is brought up he loses his s*** and cant stop cry laughing for about 15 minutes. Hands down my least favorite childhood memory.
"I think about it often..."
My best friend's mom took us to McDonald's, but I really wanted Wendy's for some reason. I threw a fit until she drove us to Wendy's as well.
I think about it often and wonder what made me act like such a brat, and when that behavior changed.
"I sent a girl..."
I sent a girl lyrics to a Korn song and pretended it was a poem I wrote hoping it would impress her.
"I put loads of pop culture references..."
I put loads of pop culture references in my school tests, and also did the ninja run everywhere I went.
"I used to just randomly..."
I used to just randomly stare at people and think "I know you can hear me. Don't look inside my head!" I thought I was some bad@ss mind whisperer.
"I'd be lying..."
I snatched my great-grandmother's obsidian urn (that is: she was in the urn) from the mantelpiece once, when we were visiting my somewhat weird and reclusive grandfather. Even though I was only six or so, I'd be lying when I said that I was completely clueless about what the thing was. It just looked very cool and mysterious. I unscrewed the lid and filled it up with candy and expensive meats I'd found in the kitchen.
My "plan" was to use the urn to smuggle the loot back home when we'd leave later. I forgot about it, however, and my grandfather only found out about what I had done a week later, when his living room inexplicably started to smell rancid and cadaverous. It sparked a confrontation between him and my parents, and the next time I saw him he was in an urn as well.
"I think I was an exquisitely cringeworthy..."
Lassie the dog was my absolute hero and I couldn't watch an episode of Lassie without sobbing uncontrollably the whole way through and for several hours afterwards. I genuinely thought I was somehow descended from/related to Lassie because I could go upstairs on all fours quite quickly, which I used to do every time I went upstairs, and 'run' on all fours quite quickly. Because of this I used to frequently declare 'I'm not just a star, I'm a real life superstar' which my family found utterly hilarious. Once I got over this delusion I swore my family to secrecy about this little phase but I suspect that, at the very least, my older brother has told his wife, but probably also all his friends throughout his life.
Also, my older brother and his friend asked me what was the scariest book I had ever read. They meant books like James Herbert and Stephen King and I said 'Five Go to Mystery Moor' by Enid Blyton.
I think I was an exquisitely cringeworthy and embarrassing kid! A lot of my recollections seem to be of my family in hysterics at something I said in all seriousness which made me really angry which made them laugh even more! Believe it or not I somehow turned out quite a normal adult!
"It turned out..."
It was in history class, I decided to try and be funny by standing up and dancing when the teacher wasn't looking or facing the class. I did it maybe once or twice but no one laughed.
It turned out there was another adult in the room that was watching while grading the teacher. I didn't notice her until after and she just gave me this stern look like "What the hell are you doing? Stop."
I slowly turned back, fully embarrassed and didn't speak for the rest of the class, surprisingly? She didn't tattle on me or get me in trouble, and I appreciate that. The moment was cringe enough.
"I was a strange kid."
I once wrote a letter to my best friend that she wasn't my best friend anymore and should try harder. I think I was just insecure because she was hanging out a lot with another girl and I was very jealous of that. Kinda dumb of me cuz' that letter upset her a lot and I think was one of the reasons we're not friends anymore. This was like 10 years ago I think? I still have her reaction letter somewhere. We wrote letters to each other all the time even though she lived in the next street. I kinda miss her to be honest.
Bonus: I used to love hiding under the table in my house or under the desk in my room and see how long it would take before people would notice me. There have been moments that I was literally under that table for like three hours. I was a strange kid.
"Scooter Truth..."
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I watched a lot of spy kids, so when I would ride my scooter I would wait until I seen people older than me and talk in to my invisible spy watch saying "Got it, I'm on my way" and speed off.
"be great..."
I used to search motivational quotes and copy paste it to sound cool. I was acting a 59 year old when I was 11-13. Crap I am cringing now thinking that.
"My Cupcake..."
I had a fit like that in school when I was 9. I threw a fit (which included me throwing a desk) because I didn't get a chocolate cupcake on someone else's birthday. My parents took me to anger management after that. I still cringe about it.
"Wide Open..."
I was 5 or 6 and I saw in a school book a picture of an open mouth, and the epiglottis drew my attention. I wanted to find out if I had one too, so I stuck my finger down my throat trying to touch it.
I puked all over my desk and my teacher had to call my parents to take me home.
"millennium project..."
All the seventh graders in Mr. Barrios's history class had to complete a "millennium project" where you pick five (ten? can't remember, this was 19 years ago) key moments that defined the last thousand years. i was OBSESSED with michael jackson (like, michael jackson themed bar mitzvah obsessed) and i included the first time he performed the moonwalk at the motown 25 awards as one of those moments. i shudder to think what the teacher thought.
i guess also having a michael jackson themed bar mitzvah qualifies for that too, though everyone loved my faithful performance of billie jean, where i basically recreated the motown 25 performance.
i've come a long way since then... i swear.
"Kim? Is that You?"
Being embarrassed that my parents weren't rich.
Ironically I was embarrassed if I said or did anything that made me feel wealthy. I wasn't super wealthy growing up but was like upper-middle class. I felt super awkward if I ever said anything about how much something I bought was or anything that inferred I or my parents had a lot of money to spend.
Mr. Clean
I once walked into a barbers shop, and asked a bald guy, "What brings you here?" No, he was offended, and my mom told me it was time to leave lol .
"Greased..."
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The bowl cut that was parted down the middle with gel. Looked like a greasy McDonald's arches on my head.
"The Yo-Yo..."
5th grade, I broke a window in a friend's screen door (in winter it had glass) with a damned yo-yo. My mom and dad had separated, money was really tight, and I just couldn't face the prospect of her having to pay for it so I just ran. Next day friend's dad called me over to ask if I broke it. I denied it even though he was holding half of my yo-yo that had broken off. But he either understood my then current situation or was just polite enough to let it go. I still cringe about that to this day. I tried to pay when I was 17 but he pretended he didn't remember it happening and refused to accept anything. Now I cringe I didn't try harder to pay.
"I'm Alive"
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This is middle school related:
I was that weird kid that did gross stuff for attention (and also money).
I licked the entire bottom of my shoe for a dollar so I could get a gatorade. I ate bugs and did other stupid crap too. Climbed up on the roof and they called the fire department.
My 3 years of cringe. After that, it was my, "How did I not die" phase.
"Becoming Ariel..."
I used to spend hours looking up "how to become a mermaid, fairy, pony...etc." Me and my friends would make potions from shampoo and rocks and thought that this would do something. Thankfully, I never consumed these liquids, but instead poured them on my hands or the ground. Still waiting for my mermaid tail smh.
"I'll take the Chicken"
Asked my friend on AOL Instant Messenger if vagina smell like tuna. Copied & pasted to send to someone else. Dad hops on the computer later and hits Paste. I said I didn't know anything about that, despite my screen name (which contained my nickname) being listed. My family also never talked about sex in any way or even referenced physical attraction.
"Angry Jane"
There was a girl in school whose last name was Anger. I made a joke about her family having anger issues and she started crying. I got so scared of getting in trouble that I also started crying. Just two kids crying across from each other in the cafeteria. Then a teacher came over and just told everyone else to let us cry it out.
"Allegiance..."
When I was five or six, my parents had company over for dinner. Before we ate, mom asked if anyone wanted to say grace. We never said grace, but when everyone was quiet for a second, I said I would, and when given the go ahead, I pledged allegiance to the flag.
"Vanilla"
Honestly my home life was very... vanilla. So my childhood I spent trying to figure out where my YA MC traits would be which led to a lot of really cringe-y periods trying out different stereotypes. I hated having such a boring life, but in retrospect it was fine.
"Falling...."
I accidentally caused the (at the time) bratty neighbor girl to fall off her bike and skin her knee pretty bad. We'd had issues for awhile at that point, and I stuck out my arm as she went by yelling mean things at me, and she wiped out. I didn't mean for her to fall and get hurt, and I still feel bad about it today. That said, we were okay after that, and she's grown into one of the sweetest people out there and just a great person all around. But oh man, I still cringe about that. I really never intended for her to fall, and I know it was just a skinned knee, but that stuff does hurt pretty good.
Angry Saturday Night Live GIF by HULU
"Skid Row..."
As a kid in the 90s me and my rag tag team of misfits were bored looking for things to do in tie neighborhood. We thought it was a good idea to pull our trousers down and run around the neighborhood.
One day we decided to do this while spreading our buttcheeks.
One of my friends didn't wipe his bum properly and we were caught by a traumatized security guard shortly after.
"Everyone but Me..."
In 4th grade I auditioned for the school talent show. I wanted to do a gymnastics routine, because I thought I was awesome at it, even though I had never had a class or anything. But I could do a cartwheel! And a somersault!
Just before it was my turn, another girl who was REALLY good and actually had lessons did a routine to the exact same song I was going to use! They called me out next, and I wanted to walk off but went for it, and did my series of random bad dancing and cartwheels. It was terrible, and halfway through I just stopped and said I was done.
They posted the list the next day of who would be in the talent show. Everyone's name was on it but mine.
"When you gotta go..."
Once when I was either 3 or 4 my mother let me skip school to go to a friend's house. When I was at her house she was showing me the upstairs. She then showed me the upstairs bathroom and said to me, "I heard when guys pee they stand ON the toilet! Imagine if a girl did that?!" So I lifted up the toilet seat, stood on the toilet, pulled down my pants, and PEED all over her! I didn't even say sorry cause I was little and stupid and thought what I did was cool and normal.
She ended up cleaning the floor and drying herself off (since she didn't have time to take a shower). Luckily she didn't tattle on me but I do remember her saying to me "We will not tell ANYONE about this!!!" Her mother then walked in asking why she smelled so bad. I then went home not saying a word. Whenever I think of this, I feel like moving to another planet.
"Meow..."
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During my "cat obsession" phase in middle school, where I acted like a cat, I jumped on the back of a taller girl who refused to get out of my way even after I said "excuse me". I hissed and clawed at her trying to get her butt to move.
I only got off with a warning for it, though. Ultimate power move, right there.
"Le Sigh"
We had a French teacher who would always compare us to french kids saying things like: "French kids don't behave like this" "French kids are amazing" "French kids know how to listen" "You English kids always misbehave, french kids aren't like this"
After a few months of this, me being genuinely curious, said to her in front of the whole class "miss, if you like french kids so much why don't you go back to France and teach them instead?"
I was genuinely wondering why you would move to a country and teach kids you hate so much if the ones back home are so amazing. Looking back though I realize how offensive that was.
So yeah, that's the story of how I told my teacher to go back to her own country. 🤦.
"Don't Speak..."
Made a stupid comment online and the week after that the FBI was at our door.
"Don't be Racist"
I told a boy I really liked that I couldn't go out with him because my dad told me that it was against the Bible and I believed him (I'm white he was black). I've never forgotten him and I want to punch myself in the face every time I think of how hurtful that had to be to hear. Forget parents who teach their kids racist crap. My daughter recently brought her black girlfriend to my dad's house, it was lovely. :)
"So real"
4th grade. We had a local artist come and teach us how to use oil pastels and draw some fish. Anyways she's showing us examples and I was impressed. They looked so realistic! I raised my hand and asked in all seriousness if the fish was dead. I MEANT, was it real. It looked so realistic. Not that it looked like she painted a dead fish. I saw this disdain in her eyes and she just sat there for a second before asking for another question.
"Unzipped..."
I did not know how to zip my pants after peeing in first grade when i asked to go out. So there I was entering the class with my zipper wide open and asking my teacher to zip it for me. The class watched, thanks God that everybody was dumb back then.
"Just Ewww..."
If I needed a tissue while I was in bed at night, instead of getting up to find one, I wiped my boogers on the back of my unicorn poster.
Out of sight, out of mind, because six-year-olds don't really think about consequences.
Of course, one day it finally tore away from the thumb tacks that held it to the wall and revealed a very diverse collection of dried-up boogers. EW.
"Armed Response"
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I asked my dad to break my arm because I wanted a cast, and got mad when he refused...
"Just Breathe"
I tried forming a holy brotherhood in high school. Managed to recruit classmate, one lunchtime when we were walking with our rosaries in hand, an upperclassman came and put me in a chokehold for about 20 seconds, whole time i was saying "i forgive you" and my fellow member just stood there saying "its alright".
Right then and there i realized times changed since the 1960's. Few months after it was all about them witches. But i always cringe about the choking part, like really bro? "I forgive you"? Ugh.
"Sweaty Plams"
First or second grade 'music' class (so, 6 or 7 years old), we were supposed to hold hands with the classmates on either side of us, for whatever reason, to sing some stupid little song. I absolutely hated being touched, let alone being forced to hold someone else's clammy, sweaty little hand. I loudly stated I was a virgin and wasn't going to be touched.
I don't remember the fallout, but we were never asked to hold hands before singing again.
"The Count"
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I was that kid that tried to convince everyone I was a vampire.
"The Biter"
Bit a girl on the nose at a birthday party. Admittedly they we're mean girls and blocking me from going to the bathroom, but my response was to bite one real hard on the nose then hide in a closet until my mom came and picked me up.
Luckily it was a party for a girl I barely knew and I didn't know any of her friends so I didn't have to encounter them again at school or anything, but that memory haunts me.
"Escape Artists"
I used to watch videos on how to survive the apocalypse, the Bermuda Triangle and also how to escape quick sand, I'm yet to use any of that knowledge, but when the time comes for it I'll be ready.
"Hear Me"
Since I'm actually Autistic, there is a wide array of answers I have. But, in particular, one very cringe thing I used to do was essentially flex my vocal chords; I would start by groaning quietly and slowly erupt into a yell. I thought it was hilarious. My family hated it.
"Chopped"
I tried to shave a little bit of hair off the side of my head because i thought my side burns were uneven but didn't cut them enough to be symmetrical so my mom ended up shaving my head entirely because I had messed up my hair so bad.
"Little Me"
This happened in my 1st/2nd grade combo class (I was in 1st grade). It was the 2nd day of school, show and tell day. There was a 2nd grade kid at my table and he had a glass dog. A glass one. Pretty cool glass dog. But little me couldn't remember the word "glass" so I said, "I like your metal dog, it's cool!".
Now the boy hates me and still does! <3
"Dear Diary..."
This happened in the school. I liked this guy so much that I got obsessed with him. I wrote in my diary about him, I tried to see what he was doing, I looked for him when I was in the playground... When I remember the things I did and said... OMG please kill me right now.
"Ms. Granger..."
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I went through a phase in 5th grade where I tried to make my hair as frizzy as possible because I thought it would make me look like Hermione Granger.
My friends and I also regularly wrote Harry Potter fan fiction (which we inserted ourselves into) and pretended to be Harry Potter characters at recess. I wish I could erase it all from my memory so I wouldn't have to acknowledge what a total weirdo I was. I also wore dresses to school everyday and occasionally spoke in a British accent for some reason.
"We hate you Victoria!"
When I was about 7 or 8 years old we took a field trip to the Field Museum here in Chicago. During our lunch break and I wandered off to the gift shop to see what they had. I had a huge crush on this girl named Victoria in my class and I saw this lady bug ring for a couple of dollars. I knew she liked lady bugs and I had money my parents gave me to buy something at the shop, so I decided to buy the ring and give it to her.
I was really nervous and kept waiting for the right time to do it. I eventually decided to just go for it and walked up to her near the end of the trip. She was with some of her friends which made me more nervous, but I found the courage to do it. She looked at the ring and laughed. Her friends joined her and she then tossed the ring in the trash.
I was completely devastated and tried hard to hold back my tears. Even though I'm over it now, that completely screwed my confidence with girls for a long time. Looking back, I may have embarrassed her too giving it to her in front of her friends, which is why she reacted that way, but even still it makes me cringe when I think about it.
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