Why is it so difficult to just do the right thing?
Rules are there for a reason. Yes, I'm all for breaking the rules, when they're arbitrary. But certain goalposts have been put in place for specific reasons... like keeping people alive.
You have to read the instructions before you act. For instance... don't kill people. That is a rule.
Curfews, curfews are rules that can be broken. That makes you a rebel. Driving down the wrong side of the highway makes you a moron.
Redditor ihatenuts69 wanted to discuss what parts of life shouldn't be this difficult to manage, they asked:
What's a simple rule that people can't seem to follow?
Don't wear white after labor Day = arbitrary.
Don't hit people in public = necessary.
See how this works?
HearListen GIF by The Maury ShowGiphy
"Listen with the intent to understand. Not to just reply." ~ rise_above_theFlames
"Don't drink and drive." ~ Harvard-23
"I remember every year at school, we watched videos on the effects of driving drink or high. One part with actors playing out a situation where someone drives drunk/high, kills other drivers and the ones in the car with them or some manage to live or the one who drove drunk lived and faced the consequences."
"Then the second part, real stories of people who where horribly injured/traumatized or from the families that lost their kids to a drunk driver. That part of the video never fails to make me cry, it's heartbreaking. I think it's absolutely necessary to show these videos to kids in high school, stove it in their brains to not drink and drive." ~ pixie13903
"Don't borrow money from friends, and don't lend money to friends. Not if you want to keep them as friends." ~ KnotKarma
"The only asterisk I would add to this is never lend, only give. If your friend absolutely needs money and you can afford to lose that money, just gift it, with zero expectations of receiving it back."
"The context for giving the money matters too. When a friend of mine needed it to pay for surgery so his kid wouldn't eventually become paralyzed, that's a VERY good reason. But if a friend asked for money cause they want the newest console then I'd politely say no (though I've never had this happen)." ~ Goopyteacher
"There is a whole big bin take ur trash there." ~ arernen
Drive!Music Video Running GIF by Dr. DogGiphy
"Put down the damn phone while driving." ~ DeathSpiral321
Why don't people realize that the rules of the road are there to help us live? Drive. Don't drink, read, dance or anything else.
SIGNAL!!sign language asl GIF by Sign with RobertGiphy
"When you need to change lanes, use your blinker!!" ~ Reddit
"Mind your own business." ~ Back2Bach
"I agree and disagree. It seems people want to mind peoples business when it truly has nothing to do with them. And then they don't want to mind peoples business when it's actually needed. For example if someone is being attacked that's when everyone seems to look away." ~ DetroitCity_bratt
Let me Off!
"Let people off the elevator first before you get in." ~ Jon__Snuh
"And the train, please! I hate when I'm getting off and I have to force my way through impatient, inconsiderate @sshats who are getting on! Off first, then on!" ~ vox35
"Yes, I've taken the train in Japan, and it is so much better! Also, people in Japan keep moving onto the train until it's full. Here, so many people just step a few feet onto the train, then stand there blocking other people from getting on. Drives me mad!" ~ vox35
"The face mask also goes over your nose." ~ sids99
"Say that to every single kid at my middle school. There's kids at my school who keep it on their chins. Under their noses and mouths. I told the 7th graders by me that they might as well take off their face masks because they aren't even covering up their faces. Some teachers do this too." ~ DogsAreCool69420
Be Smartpets love GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"If you can't afford or have the emotional means to have a child or a pet, don't have/get one." ~ llcucf80
That last one... commit that one to memory. Not everybody should have pets or children. I could write a novel on that one. Commit all of these to memory.
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Sometimes, it's not that complicated.
Sometimes, you wish the whole world would just take a second and chill out and really just look at something in its barest essence.
Humans are career over-thinkers and over-complicators.
We love to insert our own storylines and our own hopes and dreams into other narratives so that we can attach to them—even if the narrative we've affixed to is false.
Redditor NeRo447 asked:
"What simple fact do you wish more people understood?"
Here were some of those answers.
On The Brain
"Not everyone likes you. Not everyone dislikes you. Not everyone so much as thinks about you at all, and that's okay."
"Spending your time worrying about what everyone else thinks will make absolutely no difference in your life, except that you'll spend your time worrying instead of enjoying yourself."-ThomasAHarper
Science Ain't Religion
"Science is a process of discovery, not a set of beliefs."
"When scientists change their mind it's because they're impressed with better evidence. It doesn't mean they're lying or they can't keep a story straight."-doublestitch
What's Right Or Wrong?
"Disagreement doesn't mean competition. What may work for you, may not work for me. We are still both valid individuals, we don't have to try to prove a point. People tie being right in with their self esteem."-Rainalikesit
"It's so mind blowing that some people will come up with a whole slew of reasons why you're wrong when you express an opinion that they don't agree with."
"One time I said that I liked pallet bed frames (when people just take old wooden pallets and put a mattress on top) and an old friend went off about how it was wrong and ugly when you can afford a regular bed frame. Geez just let people like things."-shelluminati
The struggle and mental energy it takes to be around and explain these concepts to people who don't understand them is truly unparalleled.
Dying On A Hill
"There are many hills that are just not worth dying on. You're better off considering the bigger picture than the moment."
"I have this thought during many AITA readings."-ThrowRARAw
"When you pick your battles you don't die on hills. It's just not productive."-Puppy-Zwolle
A Waste Of Energy
"Nothing can be truly solved by argument/attack. People naturally resist aggression it and will shut down in a multitude of ways including fight, flight or freeze."
"Even when you 'win' an argument (I'm talking about yelling type, not a discussion) you most likely just wore the other person down and created resentment and/or future retaliation."-iceisniceLazlo
"'Can I use the restroom?"'
"You should've gone during lunch."'
"Oh, I'm sorry, lemme just hold it in. Kids can't control their bladder, schools shouldn't withhold a second or third grader from using the restroom. Middle and high school is even worse, especially for girls."-queenettaa
And YouTube Isn't Research
"Research is a really, really tedious and difficult process. Smart people with phd's try as hard as possible to get it right and still sometimes make mistakes that's why it's important for the conclusions to be repeatable."
"You didn't do research and have probably never done research in your life. You have just read other people's research."-discostud1515
It's especially disarming to see some of the greater issues at hand in the world showing up in these "simple concepts we wish you understood" page.
This Is Just My Face
"Just because I'm a quiet person doesn't mean something is wrong. And stop telling me to smile or cheer up, it's incredibly patronising."-bonster85
"I feel these are the same people that are the reason zoos have signs 'Don't tap on the glass.'"-ToastAndASideOfToast
"Every time someone told me to smile, I would look at them, hold out my hand and say, '50 bucks.'"
"Then they start stammering and stuttering, I leave with, 'you got nothing? Then piss off! I don't do jack-shit for free.'"-The_Book-JDP
Set Up For The Wealthy
"The US tax code is progressive. You are not penalized for making more money. The first $x you make are tax-free. The next $y you make are taxed at z% up to $a, etc, etc, etc."
"There is no point where you make less and the money you made up to $x or $y or $a are taxed at a higher rate because your highest earnings are in a higher tax bracket."-DumDumGimmeYumYums
Just Tell The Doctors
"That if you come into the ER clearly high on drugs, we don't give a sh*t. We're not going to bust you, judge you, or refuse to help you, but we DO need to know what the f**k you're on, how much you took, and how long ago it was."
"So, don't lie to us, because we can obviously tell, and don't refuse to give us piss. Sure, were gonna drug test it, but only because your tweaker a** lied to us!"
"There are about 400 other reasons why we need your piss, and trust us, drug testing it is LOW priority, and as it turns out, we are way too busy trying to keep you from dying to call any cops, ok?"
"THIS WHOLE THING will go way easier, faster, and safer if you just tell the truth and give us piss."-Ghost_on_Toast
Part Of A Balanced Breakfast
"The only truly good diet is the balanced one, coupled with not overeating and being physically active. All other diets are unsustainable and useless at best or dangerous at worst."
"Some diets like keto are also designed for people with specific medical conditions (diabetes in this case) and if you don't have those, do not try those diets. You can actually mess up your health by fixing what ain't broken."
"Also, just because a certain diet works for you does not mean it's suitable for everyone else."-puella_
These things have been needlessly complicated by capitalism; by your peers and family; by society; and so many other things that the simplicity of them has truly gotten lost over time.
If we find it again, who knows what other magic lies there?
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Rules are generally meant to maintain some semblance of order and to keep people in line.
"What was your 'so THATS why that rule exists' moment?"
These incidences involving parents lead to unpleasant consequences.
Blinded By Love
"Why can't I go in my parents bedroom at night… I WAS 12!"
Do Not Disturb
"Uggh same. Only with my grandparents. My memory is puposely fuzzy on this, and I'm not really sure what I saw, but it was their anniversary. That's when I learned why you knock."
Swing And A Miss
"While camping I was chopping wood into kindling when my dad says, 'Honey, you NEVER chop wood in sandals or flip flops. You need to wear proper shoes just in case you swing and miss. Wouldn't want to chop off your toe.' I say OK Dad! Take a big swing, miss and the damn ax lands right next to to my big toe in the dirt. I've never seen my dad smile so big."
"My mom told us not to try and climb up the water slide we had that slid into the pool. I figured it was because she was a fun-hater. Really it was so that you didn't slip, fall face first into wood planks, almost break your nose and eye socket, then get the skin on your eyelid glued back together causing a permanent scar between your eyelid and eyebrow. I learned the hard way."
Why The Scar?
"Whenever I would open or break down cardboard boxes, I would always sweep the knife or scissors toward my other hand that was holding the box still. I was told at least 100 times to not cut toward myself by my mother and grandparents."
"I now how a pretty large scar on my left hand from accidentally stabbing myself with scissors and I no longer cut towards myself."
Workplace hazards abound.
The Crash Pad
"Working retail, one of the racks in the back room had a giant wad of foam stapled to it."
"What's with the foam?"
"Oh, you'll find out..."
"One day, in too much of a hurry, I turned around quickly and smacked my face right into the foam. Broke my glasses and cut my nose open."
"Would have KO'd me without the foam..."
It Makes Scents
"I work for a warehouse that manufactures different products; one product is made with pure peppermint oil. The stuff we get is very concentrated (literally go home every day smelling like Christmas). The restrooms are on the other side of the warehouse so my boss had a sink installed so people could easily wash themselves off if they got any oil on themselves."
"One big rule that is HIGHLY encouraged is to wash your hands before you leave that area of the warehouse to do anything, even before going to the restroom. Every single person has only broken that rule ONCE, because it only takes one minty private area to learn WHY you wash your hands first."
What Blow Dryers Are NOT Designed For
"Did you ever see the tag on a hair blow dryer that says 'Do not use while sleeping'? Silly, right? Well... I met someone whose family all sleeps with a blow dryer ON in their bed. They still do it after the daughter woke up to a scorched bed and the mom says sometimes the blow dryer 'sparks'!! Incredibly stupid people."
"No cell phones while on the clock at work, has been the rule for the last two jobs I've had and there's been no exceptions to it. I'd need about fifty pairs of hands AND feet, and NO I'm not exaggerating, just to count the number of people fired because they were caught with their cell phones on them."
"The two major reasons for this rule have been because a couple of people were on them constantly and not doing their jobs, and about three or four people were caught taking pictures of customer's credit cards. So now if you're caught with a cell phone while clocked in, it's an automatic termination."
These Gestures Are Offensive In Other Countries | George Takei’s Oh MyyyPeople explain the friendly gestures in one country that are offensive in another. It's imperative to do a little research about the destinations and culture...
"Clothing stores have signs posted that read:"
'LIMIT - no more than 3 items allowed in fitting rooms'
"When a store manager was asked why, he said:"
'Shoplifters will often take many items into dressing rooms without any intention of trying them on. They do this in order to stuff one or two items into bags, switch labels from more expensive to less expensive items, as well as to distract sales people in the fitting room area.'
"Often, shoplifters will leave items they don't want inside the dressing room so sales associates can't tell which ones they've taken and left behind."
For Back Protection
"Lift with your legs, not your back. I am not a fitness expert but I did do some temp work warehouses where having proper form is important. I do not want to get any hernia discs or anything."
The things kids do can lead to painful consequences. Which is why these rules were set in place.
The Reason For The Rule
"I guess this is cheating since I'm the reason for the rule."
"When I was like 9 I went to kings island in Ohio, there was a restaurant in the park that had bars laid out for people to queue in. My family was literally the only customers there, so as they were waiting naturally I decided to run back and forth under the bars. I was young and short enough where I just had to bend a little to run under them. My hands came up a little, and I was running full speed. My arms caught the bar, which pulled my head up just enough to knock my two front teeth clean out spewing a bloody mess:"
"Fast forward over two decades later I'm back at the park. Same restaurant now has chains instead of bars and a sign saying don't run underneath them. I chuckle to myself and ask one of the workers what the story there was."
"Oh like a decade and a half ago some dumbass kid f'ked his mouth up running into bars that were there."
"No running around the pool. My friend split his head open chasing someone around the pool deck."
"They taught me to never jump off spinning chairs at school, so out of spite, I jumped off the spinning chair THE SAME DAY they talked about the dangers of standing on a spinning chair."
"I ended up spraining my leg. It was a really fun experience explaining to my parents, doctors, and teachers what I had done."
"Remember the simple 'look both ways before you cross a road'. I still do that, even when the pedestrian light is green for me. Case in point, walking across the street when it's green for me and almost getting my foot flattened from a car driver that wanted to rush over his changing traffic light when it was already yellow."
Mind They Fingers
"Back when I was in 8th grade we had a tech class that would cycle to different rooms for different learning. Well one of the rooms was woodworking and my teacher for that room told us to 'make sure your fingers are clear of the band saw and to never give the wood a final extra push at the end'".
"Well I was always curious why he said that at the end there and then at the end of the school year he told us that about 10 years ago he had a kid cut part of his thumb off by giving the block of wood an extra push on the band saw."
I learned my lesson about not running a long time ago.
I used to be a part of a young adult performing group where we rehearsed and performed in a mall food court. During one of our lunch breaks from rehearsal, I needed to use the restroom so bad, I ran to beat the other kids from getting to the toilet first.
When I rounded the corner, I slipped in a puddle of urine in front of the urinal and fell. Needless to say, I had to use the sink as a makeshift bathtub to rinse myself.
I'm grateful I didn't break any bones from falling that day, and the embarrassing incident prevented me from racing to get to the bathroom since then.
That's why we don't run, kids.
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The rules we follow growing up are often rooted in culture and circumstance, but that doesn't mean they always make sense for the world we live in.
Or at least they didn't as kids. Let's revisit and see if things make more sense as grown ups, shall we?
Reddit user WannabeWeeb asked:
And I'm not out here saying parents need to do better. As a parent, I totally get the idea of being a semi-functional mess... I'm just saying maybe let's talk some stuff out before we start enforcing things as rules?
Like, we see where you were GOOOOOOIIIIIIING there were just some failures of logic on the way there.
Experienceforbidden downton abbey GIF Giphy
"I wasn't allowed to drive at night, or in the rain/snow, because I had no experience driving in those conditions."
"So until I got experience driving at night or in rain/snow, I was forbidden to do it. But I could never gain that experience because I was forbidden to do it."
"Logic was not always a parental strength." - fangfacekitty
Video Game RulesVideo Game GIF by sambmotion Giphy
"Couldn't own a Call Of Duty game because I was shooting people. Halo was great because I was killing aliens." - Perriaction
"My mom actually had similar feelings. Resident Evil, while she didn't like it, was fine because it was obvious fiction. Military shooters were far worse because it's a realistic scenario of killing people, along with glorifying the military." - Hiro-Of-Shadows
No Food For YouSwedish Chef Cooking GIF Giphy
"Never eat in any house except your own." - WiseOpinion47
"Glad I am not the only one that had to deal with this. My friends were always baffled when I would leave just because their mom started cooking."
"Dad's excuse was that my older brother supposedly would beg for food at his friends house when he didn't want to eat my mom's cooking. (He also pretended to be poor to con my aunt into buying him a designer coat so it's plausible)"
"Mom said she didn't care, but she was a health food nut and critical of what the other neighborhood mom's fed their kids." - ProfessionalBee137
EvilMermaid Man And Barnacle Boy Superhero GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants Giphy
"I had a friend whos parents were really religious, but only in certain ways."
"One of those ways was not using the certain words such as evil. We would go to his house and play Resident Evil, but every evil word had to be covered up. So we would often play 'Resident 4.' "
"They had a very large dvd collection of movies also, that all had words sharpied out and censored, but everyone was still allowed to watch the movies so it made no sense." - streetmitch
Twice A Weekeddie vedder clapping GIF by Pearl Jam Giphy
"In high school I wasn't allowed to wear 'shirts with words on them' more than twice a week."
"I liked to wear graphic tees and merch I bought at concerts. Mother viewed her kids as an extension of her rather than as individuals, so she tended to control us as much as she could as a means of improving her image."
"Letting me dress the way I wanted to dress twice a week was her version of a compromise." - raisethesong
DealbreakersThe Goldbergs No GIF by ABC Network Giphy
"My parents have a habit of making deals with me, and when I do my part, they completely change it to suit them."
"I was allowed to save up for a console a couple years ago by doing jobs, chores, etc. I was told that once I had the money, I would be allowed to buy it. Fast forward to a year and a bit later, I have the money for a Black Friday offer."
"I ask my mum if I can buy it, and she tells me no. 'You need to wait a few months to prove yourself.' Like wtf does that mean, I have to be 'worthy' of it?"
"I still managed to convince them, but I still wasn't allowed to play on it for another 2 months."
"Another example, I wanted to buy a lightsaber replica off Amazon with my own money. I was told if I saved up, my parents would buy a second one so I could play with a friend. I had the money, and I got my saber."
"But because my grades slipped a tiny bit, my parents took the lightsaber that I SAVE UP FOR off me and refused to buy me another. To this day I still don't have the second one because it sold out. So much for a deal. (And no, there was no mention of grades staying the same, etc)." - GodofMemes_Dank
The Fun QuotaSchitts Creek Comedy GIF by CBC Giphy
"My parents had a fun quota. I couldn't have multiple fun days for a given week."
"A fun day was something like a friend coming over for a while or me getting to hang out with them." - spacexpurrp
"Disrespect"You Will Not Cry Full Metal Jacket GIF Giphy
"The main one was that dad didn't tolerate 'disrespect,' which sounds fine until you realize that 'disrespect' was just whatever set him off that time."
"So you'd walk into the room, he'd storm over yelling about 'disrespect,' and tell you to drop and give him 30, while he kicked and stepped on you until you were done. Then he'd ask you if you knew what you did wrong. Of course the answer was no, but if you said that you were 'playing dumb' so, you'd do more pushups, he'd kick you some more, and then he'd ask again."
"If you kept doing that, maybe he'd tell you what he was angry about at some point, but who knows? It wasn't worth it. He probably just didn't like your resting facial expression, or he had a bad day and decided you looked too happy, or something equally inane." - Aperture_T
People Who Work In Remote Places Share Creepiest Things They've Witnessed | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Male Family Memberschelsea peretti ew GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy
"No dresses, skirts, tank tops, sometimes even t-shirts if the sleeves weren't long enough, around any male family members."
"Shorts too, and pants that were too tight around the crotch area. Oh also only thick tights were allowed. Like you should not be able to even make out my skin tone through it if I stretched it out completely."
"... if you think my family members (including my brother and father) are going to look at your 10-year-old kid like that maybe it's they are the problem and not your daughter problem 😀" - ijustwanttobeloved2
DadFathers Day Dad GIF Giphy
"OH… my family had such weird family rules, here are a few:"
"That we couldn't leave the table without drinking a glass of milk first. No idea why."
"We had to complement our family one time a day"
"and if we ever lied my parents would force me to eat a piece of moldy bread. That last one was (maybe?) abuse. I've cut my dad out of my life."
"My dad was the one that made all the rules. He had a lot of control on my mom and she was too brainwashed by Him to notice." - Odd-Blackberry8216
Who Are You Hiding From?arrested development hiding GIF Giphy
"No strangers or friends are allowed to enter the main home."
"It doesn't matter if it's your best friend of forever. To hang out with friends or guests they have another place that's 6 miles away."
"It has a small garden. You can have a bbq, hang out, and play there. Everything from the post office is delivered there. But we don't sleep there."
"We can, but we don't use it as a home. No outsiders are allowed at the place we use as home." - MJohnVan
"Rebellion"lion king disney GIF Giphy
"My parents had this gigantic chest that hid the TV in the top part and had three drawers for movies in the bottom part."
"I was only allowed to watch the movies in the bottom 2 drawers. They were parental approved. They were filtered for subject matter, language, and even year they were made; 1939-1964. Those were the earliest and latest releases that I could watch."
"My parents were super religious and put me a very strict religious community of Southern Baptist - Christianity."
"If you listened non-classical music, you were marked as a bad person. Tattoos were part of devil worship, gays had no souls. If a girl showed her ankles it was risqué. There were families who couldn't watch The Lion King because they sang about 'The Circle of Life' and that was just too scandalous."
"Other kids who grew up 'rebelled' by having sex, drinking/doing drugs, and got tattoos. My rebellion was to watch every movie I could get my hands on."
"So, naturally, when I was 18 and went to college, somebody gave me their Netflix password. I started watching the Walking Dead. I had never seen effects or a story like that. It gave me nightmares for years." - Qu33nM4ry
Bad Lucksad black and white GIF Giphy
"Don't cut nails at night. Don't pet the cat when there's thunder."
"Don't rest your chin on your hand. Don't use piggy banks. Don't bite your nails..."
"It's a long list and the reason for all of it is because doing it is 'bad luck.' " - LowAd8109
The Filibustergoing off alex jones GIF Giphy
"You're not allowed to leave the room while the parents are talking to you."
"I know that sounds like basic human decency, but you have to consider my father would keep ranting on and on about things, practically trapping everyone in the room with him as he did."
"If, during dinner or something, I asked to leave my parents would even spend literally half an hour lecturing me about how inappropriate it was to ask to leave at that moment, thus trapping me for 30 minutes after I had already indicated that I wanted to leave."
"I'm autistic and sensory overload is a real problem for me, so if I'm trying to leave and find a place where I can calm down and recover, trapping me by yelling what a bad person I am is not going to make it any better." - TheChosenSnail
Hopefully we've gotten some useful what NOT to do tips from these Reddit users and their confessions. Parenting is hard, but it's doable in a loving, logical, and non-abusive way.