You can't always get along with your family members. Even if you have a good and happy relationship with them, there are some things that can happen in your personal life that you would never tell them about. Or maybe you know them well enough and expect them to have a terrible reaction.
Redditor u/marybroadmore asked people about things they would never confess to their families, and some shared the darkest parts of their lives that they feel safer to share with strangers.
What they do in the bedroom
"I have a few fetishes that sounds werid so I keep that away"
They don't feel tough enough
"I am terrified of being in a fight . im so ashamed that i get scared just thinking about it . so many times a person has gotten in my face and i back down in terror . i see the ufc fighters and wish i had the nurve to defend my self like that . school was a terror because i was always picked on . a woman stud up for me and i never got over the embarrusment of that ."
thomas4004
How much they hate them
"Something I would never confess is that I really wamt my older brother to die. He says he wants to change but I dont see it. He says he wants to be in the military but nothing happened. He keeps getting into trouble. I just dont believe him and I wished he was kicked outta the house years ago. I also feel no sympathy for my oldest sister. She cheated on her husband and got caught red handed. She also hit her huaband and honestly I just dont give a **** about her...or even my family for that matter. Im so done being with family. I found out not to long ago. Something about my dad but I wont get into detail. But lets just say im done."
How tough things really got
"I went thru anorexia, depression and self harm when I was 12 y/o, only my therapist and 3 close friends know about that time. I deleted all the pictures from that year that I could find so no one could suspect a thing and it's better like this bc they would never forgive themself to not have noticed, but our family went thru some financial problems back then and other things that put me into depression then anorexia and self harm. Now Im 20 and ok but I will keep it to myself, its better this way."
The plans they had for their future
"The reason I dropped out and did whatever drugs I could was because I never wanted to make it to 18. I tried to kill myself many times and was never successful."
Their relationship with drugs
"That I'm a drug dealer. Most of my friends know and I also do drugs with them, and I have my boyfriend who sells with me. I can't ever let anyone in the family know because I will be disowned.
The thing is, I don't really think it's bad, selling and using, as long as you're responsible. And nothing injected or scarily addictive. It's only 'bad' in a sense because it's illegal. But I'm of the opinion that not all things that are legal are good, and not all illegal stuff are bad."
How much they hate religion
"I lowkey hate organized religion.
I was brought up in a Christian family and kinda took the religion for granted. the most annoying, cringiest, most stereotypical 'white people' are Christians that i have to talk to and pretend I care about after church for hours. Don't get me wrong, i value and respect my elders, its just that the way they can ramble on for hours about stuff they tell me all the time over and over again gets on my nerves."
Their plans to move across the ocean
"They think that I'm joking when I say I want to emigrate. In the future, I've decided to move to Northern Italy (in the Lombardy region) and will only visit them when it is required. I've already almost committed suicide because of how my father treats my sister and I, and intend to go to university and leave just so that I might have some kind of control over my life."
That college is not right for them
"That I am failing my college. I love them to death and I just can't break their hearts. They are convinced education is mandatory if you want a high quality of life, but I can't find an ounce of strength to go to classes and take exams. I simply hate it, the college, the people, the profession, the teachers. I am having nightmares and can't sleep right because of it, but I will never tell them."
The reason they're happy to live far away
"I'm really happy to only see them once or twice a year due to living 3,000 miles away. I just can't stand them. They all gossip and talk **** and spin their wheels so much you can't even have a normal conversation with any of them. It's all drama and always has been. I never understood how and why I was so depressed my entire life, found escapism through alcohol and partying. Since I've lived across the country I'm sober, have a super awesome family and I barely ever see them, it's great."
Hiding how alike you are
"i'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict at 24. They all warned me that my entire family was full of them but i thought i was different. 105 days sober."
Yeah, best not to say that one
"That my mother, who always said time and time again that she will NEVER turn into her mother....has turned into her mother."
That school is actually tough
"That I am about to fail university. I struggle but can't tell them because they are proud of me."
How they wish they could leave
"That I don't feel like part of the family, I feel like I don't belong and like I am just a substitute for when my brother isn't around. I don't feel respected or wanted, I feel like my girlfriends family likes me more than they do and if I had the funds too I wouldve moved out long ago and they probably wouldnt have seen or heard from me since apart from maybe Christmas and that is only because of my cousins."
How it feels to be the black sheep
"I really don't enjoy spending time with them. I've been the black sheep since I was a child and it sucks when the entire family thinks of you as 'the mean one', then wonder why you don't have any interest in spending time with them."
A dietary betrayal
"That I accidentally got her (my mom) a non vegetarian hot dog one time. I just didn't think when I was ordering. She thought it was the best veggie dog ever and had a great nights sleep that night. I will take that to the grave with me."
About their side business...
"That I handcraft/cast in silicone, nerdy sex toys and pay bills with dong money."
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy
"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.
More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.
Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.
Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.
Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:
"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"
Don't Give Me So Much Credit...
'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."
"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."
"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."
"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"
"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher
Eternal Optimism...
"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."
"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465
Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...
"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”
"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”
"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia
Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office
Giphy
Double Whammy!
"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."
"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93
Can't Hide Your DNA...
'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."
"She cracked the code."
"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93
Self-Sufficient!
"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."
"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."
"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'
"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody
Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations
Giphy
A Miracle!
"My brother-in-law’s comment."
"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."
"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."
"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."
"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."
"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."
"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"
"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn
Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...
"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."
"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."
"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."
"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."
"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379
Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K.
Giphy
A Bit Too On The Nose?
"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."
"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."
"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."
"'What would you expect to find there?'"
"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB
Not Yet, Anyway...
"I was working with my friend and his dad."
"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."
"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."
"His dad asked, 'what for?'"
"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."
"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890
Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...
"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."
"She told this story to him:"
"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."
"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."
"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."
"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."
"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."
"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."
"She asked him what was wrong."
“'What’s wrong???'"
"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714
On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO
Giphy
Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...
"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."
"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52
Read The Room People!
"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."
"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."
"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"
"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl
There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".
As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.