If you are a seasoned dater then you probably have a few Exes, and some might not be so nice. People share their worst exes and what made them so memorable.
u/ysquaredwhynot asks:
What's your ex from hell story?
Not the brightest man
GiphyMy ex bought a new phone and lost all his numbers. Asked me to text him so he can save my number again. As him and I drive home I text him "hey sexy, what's up?" and he responds "hey can't talk right now. I'll text you back in 5."
I figure he's f****** with me and forget about it. As soon as we get home he goes to the bathroom. A moment later my phone lights up:
Ex: "so hey. What's up?" Me: "uhm... not much, you?" Ex: "super horny. Wanna meet up tonight?" Me: "why not right now? Horny too." Ex: "ok will try to make it ASAP. Cool?" Me: "yeah"
A moment later he comes out of the bathroom for the following conversation:
Ex: "I'm actually just gonna head home I think. Don't feel too good. Is that ok?"
Me: "uhm ok..."
Ex: "oh but can you text me real quick so I have your number?"
Me: "sure...."
I send him a text while we stand in the same room: "Hi."
Him: "f***."
I forgot what exactly happened afterwards but I vaguely remember removing him forcefully from my apartment...
A real keeper, that one.
The dangerous Ex
GiphyMy ex just got out on bail for running over and beating a girl with a crowbar because she thought she was sleeping with her man. The girl she beat is now in a vegetative state. Thank god I got out of that one early.
When she just wanted money
GiphyAfter we broke up she called to tell me she was pregnant and needed $600 for an abortion. I did the math and it was impossible I was the father. I told her I wanted to keep the baby and that I'd be happy to take it and she could even terminate her parental rights and not have to pay child support. I would be a single dad. A week later she "miscarried".
The jealous type?
GiphySo jealous and controlling he sent me hundreds of text messages calling me a slut and c**..t one night. When I blocked him, he sent screenshots to my old phone too of the same messages.
Why you ask?
Because I offered an elderly disabled man my seat on the train. A man of about 70, on crutches, who could barely stand. And apparently this made it was clear I wanted him, and that made me a slut.
Hopefully he's now getting the help he needs. Psycho.
When she makes you run a triathlon
GiphyShe asked me to do a triathlon her brother was doing and she was going to watch his son. I have never done one before but she told me she really thought it would be good for me and would be proud of me if i did it. So I did. It was a whole weekend camping trip. It rained the whole time.... we got there on Friday, I unpacked set up, cooked, cleaned and did everything the whole trip. Her brother apparently forgot to register so it was just me doing the triathlon then, which was on Sunday. Woke up at 5am, jumped in the coldest water I have ever been in to start but finished it (it was a mini triathlon so like swim half a mile, 13 mile bike ride and a 5k run but still that's a lot for me). Anyway, ended went back to camp. She made me pack everything up, then told me if I could put the tent in the original cardboard box it was in, not just the bag it was in. When I said she was welcome to do it herself she told me her ex had no issue doing it (mind you I'm exhausted from you know the god damn triathlon and she just watched me pack up everything alone). I put it in the box but ripped it halfway down. Didn't give a shit. Drove the 3 hours home and she broke up with me on the car ride home because "she just didn't see any potential in me anymore". So yea good times.
The abusive leech
GiphyMy ex was jobless and lost his apartment so I let him stay with me temporarily to help him get back on his feet. I was a full time student, full time intern, and I was working part time as well. Turns out, he got a job, spent all his free time drinking his paycheck away, and I found cocaine in my apartment. I confronted him, and he finally showed d his true colors and became physically abusive (in retrospect, there were plenty of signs and he was pretty psychologically abusive before that). I was scared of what he would do, and I had pets also, so I decided to take him on a trip to his hometown. I woke up at 5am, snuck out of the hotel, room his key to my apartment, and left. That day, I moved all of his stuff into a storage unit and blocked his number. I heard from one of his ex coworkers that he ended up being arrested a couple months later for a couple felonies (fraud and identity theft.) haven't heard from that asshole since and am in the healthiest relationship of my life thank god.
When you damaged her car
Giphyshe ran me over with her car and then tried to press charges on me for damaging her vehicle.
Suddenly...
GiphyLiterally just happened an hour ago. My boyfriend says he's going to get a pizza, comes home four hours later and tells me he slept with another woman. I've been helping his raise his son and have gotten very close to his family. My parents died when I was young and this is he first family I've had. and now I'm losing who I thought I would marry, his family, and have to move out. He never had the normal red flags. Devil in sheep's clothing.
Not an animal lover
GiphyShe tried to kill my dogs recently.
Cops refused to do anything since she didnt try anything against MY life.
They changed their tune when i informed them if I saw her within 2 miles of my house again i would shoot her.
I now have a temp restraining order that lasts for the next 30 days until a judge signs on a new one.
"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
Wait what?!
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattz
get out GIFGiphyIt's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswers
of montreal dancing GIF by Polyvinyl RecordsGiphyEveryone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
Well, Then...
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
Sad Premonitions
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
