Most of us enjoy going barefoot, the feeling of warm sand between our toes, or soft and fresh spring grass, there's something about it that is grounding. At home it is comfortable and a part of unwinding, taking your shoes off after a long day.
It's not always great though, sometimes going barefoot leads to unwanted surprises. The worst thing I've stepped on barefoot should have been innocent but it scarred me.
We had a hallway leading from outside to the door we had cts and never knew what they'd bring in. It was summertime and one night after a glass of wine I'm walking into the hallway and step on a grape. Sound fine right? Well it was dark, hot, and I didn't know what it was. All I felt was something warm the size, shape and texture of an eyeball squish under my foot.
It felt so gross and because I remember the dissection of sheep's eyeballs in biology lab that's all I cold picture as the slimy jelly squished through my toes and I fumbled for the light switch to find it was thankfully a fruit. Now I don't eat grapes often because I can't without thinking how they feel like an eyeball...and now you can't either--you're welcome.
Redditor mrbad*ssmotherf*cker wanted to know your worst barefoot stories. They asked:
“What's the worst thing you've stepped on barefoot?"
People had some pretty painful answers.
Jellied frog eggs...
“I was 9(f) and climbing out of the lake at the end of the dog. But as I went up I didn't notice the jellied mound of frog eggs on the ladder leading up. As simple hit the second to top step, 4 feet above the water, the slime on the step squished beneath my foot and I lost my balance as I felt the eggs splurt between my toes.”
“And then I fell backwards off the ladder, head backward, face first into the freshly disturbed egg sludge. That I then puked into. It was a bad day and made me squeamish for life. My aunts hosed me off while I cried and I never swam there again.” CaffinatedHBIC
“Was a really long night.”
“Either a sewing needle stuck in a broom (not malicious; Mom dropped the needle and couldn't find it so she swept and blahblah) that got stuck in my big toe. Or broken glass because I was trying to do dishes and dropped a thin glass that shattered all over the only way out of the sink corner. I was barefoot and had to walk to work that evening, and got a few cuts on the tender bits of my feet. Was a really long night.” FunInevitable5213
Hope they went to the doctor!
“An xacto blade it was avoidable too. I was working on building a 1/700 ship and dropped the blade underneath my desk. Like a idiot I left it there and didn't have any shoes on. In hindsight I should have been wearing shoes and picked the blade up. Well of course I stepped on the blade and your first reaction is not to move after the initial shock and pain of being stuck."
“My heel started to bleed just a little at first then a little more to the point I started to get worried. I put a lot of pressure on the spot after I removed the blade as it was less than an inch in my heel. I've never seen so much blood come from one area like I did with my foot. Needless to say I stopped the blood an continue to build 1/700 ships and a bit more careful with xacto knives." frogmickey
A mouse glued to your foot?
“I was fixing my mouth to say dog poop, after an unfortunate incident that happened when my lazy brother failed to let the dog outside to relieve himself, but then I recalled something more traumatic.”
“ In the spring/summer out home started getting infested by these tiny, speedy little mice. We weren't the inle ones, as other neighbors had started taking issue with them too and it was really hard to get rid of them long-term.”
“This time around dad tried using sticky traps which he placed all around the house without properly informing the rest of the home, so imagine my surprise when I dig my entire foot into this nasty gunky trap as I'm heading to the basement. But then upon further inspection I notice that there's a partially living mouse jammed halfway under my foot and the glue trap. I'm not scared of mice but it screwed up my night by quite a lot.“ ThotThotlyTheMeek
The foot bone is connected to the...t-bone?
“When I was 10 or 11, I went down to check the chicken yard for eggs one morning. These chickens got all the scraps from the farm kitchen... veggie peelings, leftovers, you name it.”
“It was spring, and there was beautiful green grass everywhere, and I loved walking around barefoot. So, anyway, wandering into the yard to check for eggs, and step on something really sharp.“
“Look down, thinking it must have been a rock of something, and there is a bone sticking out of my foot... but it's not one of mine! A gross, half-chewed, sharp ended t-bone from goodness knows when...”
“I pulled it out, and hobbled back to the house to clean it up and put some bandaids on it. (I thought bandaids fixed anything lol) Mum asked what I was doing, and after I told her what happened, took me to see the local GP for a clean out and an injection of some sort. No infection or scars, but I'll never forget the image of it sticking out the top of my foot :-)” SaucyPirateWench
Fire ants...
Happy Episode 19 GIF by The Simpsons
Giphy
“Fire ant colony.” adalaza
“Was playing under the slide on a swing set as a kid and apparently there was a fire ant nest I didn't see. Almost immediately I was covered head to toe in fire ants, my mom had to rush me into the shower to wash them all off and I ended up in the ER. Fire ants are no joke.” antisocialsushi
Little plastic kids toys are weapons, change my mind.
“When my son was a toddler, we bought him this carrying case for his Matchbox/Hotwheels cars that looked like an 18 wheeler and came with tiny traffic barriers and road cones.”
“You think stepping on floor Legos in the middle of the night is bad? You should try stepping on a tiny road cone made of hard plastic. Ow.” KnockMeYourLobes
The joys of pet ownership...
“Our neighbor fed our puppy a ham bone and in the middle of that night, I was awoken by the sound of her puking all over the carpet at the side of our bed. After I woke up, I also smelled her bowels, which she had kindly evacuated, also on our carpet. Two of my first five steps on the way to turn on the light landed in vomit and poop. One foot in each.” papahet1
Ouch
“A bee. That was not a fun walk to the medical room as the sting and I guess some bee intestines (?) were still in my foot. 10 year old me was scared to walk in grass for a good while after that” Happy_Diabetic
Every rose has it's thorn...
“A good piece of rose bush that mum had forgotten to pick up after pruning. Multiple deep cuts along my arch. Never told her cos I didn't want her to feel horrible.” Formal-Asparagus-735
Going barefoot is comfortable and nice from time to time however, when things like this happen it equals insta-regret. Maybe we'll keep our shoes on from now on...
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The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy
"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
