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People Dish About The Biggest BS Statement They’ve Ever Heard In Their Lives

People Dish About The Biggest BS Statement They’ve Ever Heard In Their Lives

It's A Chinese Conspiracy

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A long rant on Chinese quality control, and how he'd never use a piece of Chinese junk for an important job.

He said this while using a Caterpillar piece of equipment, made in their Chinese factory ...

He swore that was the best farm tool he's ever had, much better than John Deere ... and refused to believe his was made in China. Going as far as to tell me to get my "Toyota driving communist ass off my land!"

Um, does he think Toyota is Chinese?

He thinks all Asians are Chinese.

Does a Bear Roll in the Wood

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Someone I know said that if a bear is chasing you, don't run down a hill because the bear would roll down the hill like a boulder and crush you, he really believed it.

Parental Guidance

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My parents every time they said "if you tell me the truth I won't be mad"

They were mad every time.

Drive-by Truthing

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I worked with a guy that would always say stupid comments and people would always call him out for saying dumb things. One day he got mad about it and went on a rant about how he was only dumb because he had to drop out of school to take care of his blind mom when he was 14 and no one else was around to take care of the family.

Everyone got quiet and it was awkward until someone said, "Your mom drove you to work today."

Whiskey and Water

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Had a guy tell me that you can't get a hangover from Jack Daniel's because of the minerals in the spring water they use to make it.

Top Secret Canadian Coffee

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"I worked in a mine 43,000 feet underground."

I asked do you mean 4300. She said nope, 43,000. Called her on her bullsh*t seeing as the furthest down drilled hole is 40,000 feet, in Russia. We're in Canada.

Nope. It's 43,000 ft.

That's where the secret government Tim Horton's is.

Gluten-Free Eggs

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"I can't eat those eggs, they have gluten!" My aunt is convinced that anything produced by any animal who has ever eaten gluten also contains gluten.

When I asked if she was tested for Celiac's, she said "Doctors don't know."

She's not a very bright person.

If Only...

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"If it wasn't for the physical and mental stress, I could be a Navy SEAL."

(That's like) if it wasn't for all the running, ball handling, and shot making, I could be an NBA player.

If it wasn't for my ugly face, unfit body, and unsatisfactory height, I could be a super model.

If it wasn't for my terrible eyesight, fear of heights, and general laziness I could be a fighter pilot.

Genetically Altered

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"Essential oils are so powerful they can change your DNA."

So is radiation.

Sugar Free Please

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"Sugar can't be digested and cuts the inside of your arteries and veins."

What?!?

Legalize It Illegally

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I had a friend in high school that would always tell semi-plausible stories that we suspected were bullshit, but we could never catch him on it. One day during lunch, we were talking about weed and he casually says "When my dad was a cop in the seventies, he would confiscate weed from guys and then go back and smoke it because it was legal back then."

We all kind of looked around the table and some brave soul said "Dude, if weed was legal, then why were the cops confiscating it?"

Basketball Physics

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If the earth is round then why doesn't water poured onto a basketball stay on?

I'm just imagining this person in a lab coat, repeatedly pouring a beaker of water onto a basketball, then shaking their head while aggressively writing notes.

German Pigeons of WWII

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In middle school, this kid who was notorious for being full of It, told me that his uncle raised CLAY pigeons. Like those orange targets that you throw in the air and shoot with a shotgun.

Same kid had this army jacket that he wore from time to time that was his Uncle's. Claimed that the holes in it were from a BB gun that some German was using in WWII. At the time I didn't realize the many flaws in this.

That Ban Is Going to Hurt

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Grandma informed me that 87% of navy seals are transgender. Something seems off about that

13% of navy seals are actual seals.

A Need for Speed

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...he told the story of when he promised his grandmother that he would drive from Michigan to California in 16 hours and he did. If you look at a map and don't take any roads into consideration, just connect the 2 closest points between Michigan and California, you're at about 2,000 miles... Add in roads, and the fact that he was going from the middle of Michigan to the middle of California, and you're close to 3000 miles... in 16 hours...

So you're saying that you don't believe that he drove for 16hrs straight going at least 187mph . . . without stopping? But. . . But you can't prove that he didn't!!!

You're right, I can't prove that... I also can't prove he had to stop for gas...

Too Smart for School

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"I was told by the high school I had to dropout because I had TOO high of a GPA."

Oh, yeah? What was your GPA?

"5.0! They said they couldn't keep me there because it'd look bad someone so smart was still going to their school."

Seal Team 0.006

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My stepdad's niece married this fat hick, and well, basically everything that ever comes out of his mouth... First, he claims he was a Navy Seal, and even if you look at the guy and can somehow think "well, maybe he just got really out of shape," three minutes talking to him and you know he's full of shit. But he lives the gimmick, and his wife believes it... We went to some motorcycle races one night and I heard him quietly tell his wife, "I know I'm not the only Seal here - I've seen a few guys, and I can tell by what they're wearing that they're Seals."

He would also tell us how, in the Navy, they used to play baseball with balls of C4 and watch them explode, and one time they knocked one into the sunroof of a fellow seaman's brand new Camaro and blew it up... I didn't bother to point out that C4 needs a detonator , because I'm sure he would just explain that this was special C4 that didn't need a detonator...

Coffee and Waffles

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"I can drink so much coffee that I achieve homeostasis and don't need to pee." I had to walk away.

That's nothing, I can eat so many waffles that I achieve photosynthesis, thus removing the need for sleep.

Busy Bees

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My grandma told me that a single bee produces 2 lbs of honey every day. I know all about bees and told her that bees maybe make a teaspoon of honey in their lifetime and she wasn't too fond of my response.

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

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I knew a dude in high school who was probably a pathological liar. He would literally lie about EVERYTHING. It didn't matter how insignificant, it would be a lie.

"Got a new car yesterday!" - Drives up in the same old car. "Got a job making $30 an hour!" - No you're 16. "Got a 100 on every test last week." - Kid was dumb as bricks.

We kinda got sick of calling him out all the time so we just let him continue telling his lies...

Then one day he starts saying that he met this girl on "habbo hotel" which was like a stupid online chat room game. The guy starts saying that shes from Finland or some sh_t and that she's super hot. He continues to tell us that shes moving in with him and keeps showing us pictures of this hot girl.

But then....shortly after HS he moves in with the girl from Habbo Hotel. God damn the one most bullsh_t thing he said was actually true.

Is This School in Springfield?

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When I was at school one my my friends ran out of the playground/yard and came back an hour or so later. He said the headteacher/principal chased him but he got on a bike, but then the headteacher jumped on a skateboard and got some toy bow and arrows and fired them through the bikes wheels - and that is how he got caught and had to come back to school.

Bullwinkle Hangs With Bigfoot

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My GF's dad thinks Moose don't exist.

The Power of Jonas Salk Compels You

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I had a coworker tell me that his 6-month-old baby was talking in full sentences until he had his vaccinations, then he inexplicably stopped talking till 18th months.

If his six-month-old was speaking full sentences, he needed an exorcist.

so what you're telling me is vaccinations not only prevent disease, but also expel demons from your body? I should get on that.

Anatomically Incorrect

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I have a coworker that swears his aunt died of prostate cancer, and that's why he doesn't use deodorant.

Wind Power

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I have a co-worker who thinks that climate change is caused by wind turbines slowing down the earth.

He otherwise seems pretty intelligent but damn...

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Note: Comments have been edited for clarity.

The Silliest Statements People Have Ever Heard Anyone Utter

Reddit user Automatic_Hedgehog71 asked: 'What is the silliest statement you have ever heard someone make?'

Woman with face to palm
Jussara Paulo/Unsplash

Kids say the cutest things, don't they?

Their unfiltered observations about life's many mysteries can be downright hilarious and serve as reminders of their pure innocence.

But it's less forgivable when adults make naive comments because, well, shouldn't they know better?

That's not always the case, however.

Curious to hear ridiculous examples of the things grown people say, Redditor Automatic_Hedgehog71 asked:

"What is the silliest statement you have ever heard someone make?"

Some people should really think twice before opening their mouth.

Work Of Art

"'How did they get the paint all the way up the sides?' -Middle-aged woman touring the Meteor Crater in AZ."

“'That’s not paint, those are the actual colors of the rock' -Her husband, giving her a long stare and walking away."

– ghostbungalow

For Trial And Error

"I had a boss say 'oh you don’t want kids, you should just have one to try it out.'"

"Really, and what happens if I find out that I truly don’t want kids? Can we just put it back where it came from?"

– tyintegra

Confused Soldier

"I worked at a place that gave a military discount."

"Family (mom, dad, adult son, adult daughter) walked in. Dad was reading the prices and pointed out to the son that he could get a discount!"

"This kid takes the sign, reads it, and says, as God is my witness:"

"I'm not in the military. I'm in the Army."

– JustMeerkats

To Live Or Let Die

"Someone once told me that paramedics/nurses/doctors are not allowed to do CPR on someone they know because it’s 'a conflict of interest.'”

– corviknight2259

It's a wonder how some people manage to live in the real world.

Know Your Audience When Using Big Words

"Sat down to eat with a friend. I said 'I'm famished' she looked at me, laughed and LOUDLY she said to me 'I swear you make up words sometimes.'"

– NotBadSinger514

"Oh man people say this to me all the time! Why did I read books and learn so many words, when no one understands them, and I really didn't think they were so pretentious, words like Famished."

– Person_Letter_629

Not Icarus

"A friend of mine said she got more tanned when riding her bike than she did when walking because on her bike, she was 'closer to the sun.'"

– Five_Star_Amenities

"This just reminded me of a time I was out on a boat with a big group of people and one of them said 'I’m so glad it’s windy, I won’t get sunburned' they thought the wind would push the light away from their skin. I was the only one to say it definitely doesn’t work like that and I could tell they thought I was wrong."

– Thbbbt_Thbbbt

The Symptoms Indicate Otherwise

"Earlier today I offered a cough drop upon my flight’s landing to the lady wet coughing right behind me the whole flight."

'Oh, no thanks, I’m not sick. I just went to Oregon and have felt awful the whole time since.'

"Okay…so…sick"

– ACaparzo

Completely Lost

"A friend once said she couldn't take Southwest Airlines because she was flying east to Florida."

– ProudCatLadyxo

"How do they get the planes back? Do they repaint them as Northeast? Or do they just push them?"

– ch4m3le0n

"They just keep flying south until they come back around."

– frymeyourpoop

A Silly Sports Spectator Said

"I was at a baseball game in Cincinnati and the teenage girl behind turned to her friend and said 'this is so cool, it's almost like we're watching it live.' I think about that a lot."

"EDIT: based on the look of the girls and their other conversations this was no joke, there was no laughing either. Don't remember the exact year but flip phones were the most common cell phone and we had seats in the outfield so she didn't appear to be watching the game thru her phone. This also wasn't the first time that day where I heard them say something and I stopped what I was doing and stared straight into space, just the most memorable. They seemed like nice enough girls, no malicious or rude conversations, it just appeared like they lacked some basic intelligence for some relatively simple concepts."

– Michael_With_An_M

You can't be difficult and clueless at the same time, can you?

Observe exhibits A, B, & C.

Unpalatable Texture

"A woman tried to send back a dish. She didn’t understand the components of it and tried to tell me that she couldn’t eat it because she was allergic to crunchy. Like yeah the texture. Not the ingredient that we had made crunchy."

– BuckleupBirds

"LMAO. Makes me feel better about the guy who asked a friend (server) for ‘Mushroom risotto, but without the rice’."

– Mavises

I'll Have The Pie And Ice Cream With A Side Of Ice Cream

"Had an older family member that back in the day went to a diner and ordered the 'pie a la mode' from the menu. He then proceeded to ask the waitress if they could put a little ice cream on top of that. : )"

– Fluffing_Satan

My husband and I were walking around a gift shop in Solvang, CA, and marveling at some of the various tchotchkes.

One of them was a MOVA globe.

MOVA globes are usually about the size of a softball held up by three small supports, and they rotate without the use of electrical wires or batteries.

Instead, they're powered by the combination of solar cells and torque from the earth's magnetic field. We didn't know this at the time, however.

When a worker nearby saw us being mesmerized by the shelf of spinning globes, he commented, "Cool, right?"

And I replied, "Yeah, how does it work?"

The dude gave a sly smile and said:

"It's an optical delusion."

Or illusion...

View of two high rise buildings.
Photo by Robert Stump on Unsplash

We all have various brands and businesses we tend to prefer over others.

Sometimes, we might not patronize these businesses because they have a superior product, but because they might seem more trustworthy than their competitors.

Indeed, some people have had such terrible experiences with companies, even some esteemed corporations, that they went running from them straight into the arms of one of their rivals.

Vowing that they would never, ever spend money on this company ever again.

Redditor SignificantClick8284 was eager to hear which companies people have zero trust in, leading them to ask:

"What company will you never trust again?"

Their Poor Communication Is Kind Of Ironic...

"Comcast."

"Their agents will lie to your face and act like you're in the wrong when called out."- bigdammit

customer service call center GIFGiphy

Not A Place To Spend Or Save Your Money...

"Ashley Furniture."

"Joke of a company."

"Bank of America - also scum."- KrankOverman

Better Question, What Question Will You EVER Trust Again...

"Unfurls paper scroll that stretches to the floor and rolls out the door."

"Ahem."- djb2589

"I see no reason to trust any company."- lycos94

When The Conformation Email Is Moot...

"Booking.com."

"I 'booked' through them just to find out that the hotel had no record of my reservation."

"Then I spent an hour in the lobby trying to get them on the phone, just to find out the price wouldn’t be honored and have them try to sell me another nearby hotel room."

"Nightmare."- DuncanAerilious

"Oh, oh The Well's Fargo Wagon Is A Comin'..."

"Wells Fargo."- clubberlang2005

"Yup."

"I was one of the WF customers who suddenly had 3 mystery WF accounts under my name."

"This was prior to the court case so I went in to my branch to ask WTF."

"The manager said the guy who set up those accounts was the same guy that setup my original 2 accounts - a checking and savings account."

"That a-hole tried to make it sound like he was doing me a favor by setting up all these accounts."

"Making it worse he says I need to login to my account in order for him to remove the other 3 accounts."

"He hands me that password box, I enter my password and he says 'that's an easy one to remember'."

"Is that your favorite band?'"

"After he said that I asked for the branch manager and told him what just happened and that I was closing all of my accounts'."- thescreamingstone

kate mckinnon snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy

"That's All Folks!"

"ACME."

"Every f8cking thing."

"From anvils to bat suits to zoot suits always FAIL."- alien_survivor

Not Equipped For The Digital Age

"HP."

"Thier printers (large and small format) are all complete trash that require constant upkeep."- Bluegrass_Barbarian

Pictures And Fine Print Can Be Misleading...

"Airbnb."- pkovach64

"My wife and I were drinking and got pretty drunk at an Airbnb and without letting us know the hosts sent a bunch of people to the property to refill the propane and other stuff."

"They came into the house while we were drunk and half-naked and were catcalling my wife in front of me."

"This was a pretty big and well-known group operating in Tennesee."

"From what we found out this is extremely common."- Huge-Plantain-8418

Giveaway GIF by AppSumoGiphy

Analog Has Its Benefits...

"EA."- bullet312

"I lost all my sims sh*t because I hadn't logged in for more than 6 months."

"EA told me to reset my password so that they could restore my account."

"They kept saying the link was in my email, but it never came."

"Kept calling to try to get the issue fixed over a few weeks, then I realized they were just d*cking me around."

"F*ck EA."- MotherOfDogs1872

And To Think They're Supposed To Help You...

"Any insurance company."

"Especially health and homeowners."- carolizzy81

FalsE Advertising

"Nabisco."

"They took double stuffed Oreos, reduced the amount of cream to the same as the regular Oreos, and are still selling them as double stuffed, and are charging double stuffed prices!"

"The betrayal is unforgivable."- It_Wasnt_Me79

oreo GIFGiphy

As If Taxes Aren't Annoying Enough...

"Jackson Hewitt!"

"Had our taxes done a while back, and the tax preparer asked if we wanted the $200 cash advance."

"We did not."

"She then proceeded to change our information and use hers to get the temporary card with the advance."

'She then used an ATM to withdraw cash."

"She was arrested, but getting a refund was like pulling teeth from a hen."

'They didn't believe that it happened even though we had the paperwork with the tax preparer's information on it."

"It was a frigging nightmare!"

"Oh, I almost forgot she added me to the return and said I was the sister instead of the mom, so we ended up owing $1500 on top of the bullsh*t from the tax preparer."

"I do our taxes now."- RoguePhoenix259

People like to know when they're spending money that it's going somewhere they can trust.

Especially if their money is going somewhere that is supposed to keep their money safe, to begin with...



A group of people running through the trees in the desert
Photo by Jed Villejo

Humans seem to get swept up in group mentality and ignorance far too often.

Just because 10 of your neighbors jump off of a bridge, should you?

Celebrity fads, diet fads, Black Friday sales...

The masses love to blindly join in on the crazy.

Or the fun. it's a coin toss.

Redditor AdmirableFlow wanted to hear about group mentality that wasn't too bright, so they asked:

"What's the most severe case of mass stupidity you've ever witnessed?"

There is no greater group of followers than people who run every time Apple puts out a new product.

Same phone, just a thousand dollars more.

The Dodge

happy tom cruise GIF by South Park Giphy

"Scientology."

Supersaiajinblue

"The rich ones at the top are just in for the tax dodge. A lot of the ones below them are in it thinking they can shmooze with the rich ones at the top and become one of them some days. So yeah dumb but with a layer of greed involved."

Doright36

Bad Socials

"Before social media, I just assumed people were mostly educated. Boy was I f**king wrong."

"Not only was I wrong, but now I myself feel stupid for believing that for so long."

Vitzdam-

"Up until my early 20s I felt like I was smarter than 90% of the people around me, being generous. It seemed like so many people were just complete morons, and I had this massive smug sense of superiority feeling that I was just more intelligent (and thus better) than most people."

"As I aged, I began to realize how far I'd shoved my head up my own a** and I understood that while I might have been naturally gifted in some ways, there were others in which I was the 'idiot' and other people were capable and intelligent. I felt like a real a** for feeling so much better than others, and I felt humbled."

"And then everything since about mid-2015 happened and I've really started to wonder if maybe I was just right for the wrong reasons before..."

TypicalAd4988

Without Fail

"Maybe not the most severe, but one that everyone here has personally seen at least once in their lives. When at an airport and the gate agent says 'We're about to commence boarding. Please remain in your seats until your group has been called.' And then half the people were waiting standing up and crowding the gate in a scene of utter chaos. Every time, without fail."

-Dixieflatline

Rushed

"The great toilet paper rush at the start of COVID. There was nothing about COVID that threatened the global toilet paper supply, and yet people just started panic-buying it and artificially creating a huge shortage."

"(We would eventually realize that there was a small uptick in toilet paper sold for private use, as many people were going to the bathroom at home more than at work, but no one realized that at the time and it had nothing to do with the panic - people just started buying more because people were buying more)."

Notmiefault

Seriously?!

Skin Care Girl GIF by Lillee JeanGiphy

"Thousands of people during the pandemic thinking the vaccination made their skin magnetic. What in the actual hell."

MonParapluie

Everybody thought they were about to become a member of the X-Men with the Covid vaccines.

Still waiting on that proof.

Celebrity

"People waiting in Dealey Plaza for JFK Jr. to show up."

ggrandmaleo

"That's the first thing that popped into my mind. and they stayed there for days, didn't they? someone was interviewing people in the crowd and lots of people seemed to think other celebrities were also coming back/out of hiding. Someone was looking forward to seeing Robin Williams."

chrisgee

"You could simply declare the entire MAGA and QAnon movements to be mass stupidity and you'd not be wrong. Propaganda is a helluva drug and under-education is real. Fear and prejudice go hand-in-hand with under-education."

NbleSavage

Schemes

"Anyone who keeps getting involved in Ponzi or MLM schemes."

"For decades the public has been warned on what to watch out for to avoid these schemes, you would assume that the vast majority of people would have learned by now that these schemes are fraudulent and just can't work out. Yet somehow here we are with thousands of these companies still up and running and thriving and even more people being taken advantage of by them."

TheSameButBetter

Open Up

"My local park's playground has a push gate."

"Every time I watch grown adults stare at it for like 20 seconds then go 'I think it's locked is there another one?'"

"To which I walk up and... Push the gate open."

"What annoys me about this is they want to catch an attitude like I'm an a-hole for it."

3ao7ssv8

Challenges

ice bucket challenge news GIFGiphy

"Those public challenges that CLEARLY risk health, i.e., 'the tide pod challenge.' Next time, just let things sort themselves out on their own. We can use fewer idiots in the world."

"The ice bucket challenge was at least kind of cute and DID give ALS a lot of media attention/awareness and raised a lot of money."

LadyVaresa

I liked doing my ice bucket challenge.

Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comment below.

movie set
Chris Murray on Unsplash

Easter eggs, bloopers, trivia, behind the scenes anecdotes... cinephiles live collecting them and sharing their knowledge with others.

Some trivia is well known—like Eric Stoltz was replaced by Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future. Other tidbits are more obscure, like Arnold Schwarzenegger was first considered for the Michael Biehn role of Kyle Reese in The Terminator.

Some stories are conspiracy theories or urban legends—like the body in the forest on The Wizard of Oz set.

But what about just film facts? The obscure ones?

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