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Incredibly Satisfying Revenge Stories

Incredibly Satisfying Revenge Stories

People Divulge What Ruined Their First Real Relationship

People Divulge What Ruined Their First Real Relationship

People Who Were Forced To Choose Their Pet Over Their Partner Break Down How It All Went Down

People Who Were Forced To Choose Their Pet Over Their Partner Break Down How It All Went Down
Image by Foundry Co from Pixabay

It can be hard bringing a new person into your pet's life.

You want your romantic partner and your pet to get along. That won't always be the case, as it can turn into a matter of two clashing personalities that were never meant to be in the same room. Don't feel bad. You do your best to find the pet that's right for you while putting that much effort into finding a partner that's also right for you.
That doesn't necessarily meant they'll be right for each other.

Reddit user, u/sugar-soad, wanted to hear about when you had to make the hardest choice of your life when they asked:

People who were made to choose between your pet or your partner, how did your ex react when you chose your pet?

People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday

When The Partner Tries To Impose On The Pet's Territory

Your pet becomes just as much as part of your house as you do, forming their own favorite spots to lay down and finding their favorite chew toys. When you have a romantic partner, especially a new one, who comes in and thinks they have a greater stake in your home life when you've only just started dating, then you know there's a problem.

Don't Come For The Dog

True story. I'm paraphrasing. My friend had his girlfriend spend the night at his house. While he was making her breakfast she began complaining about his "nasty dog". My friend told her, "You should stop complaining, the dog lives here and you don't".

They broke up a week later.

Niall_Nine_Hostages

Don't Try To Outlive Cats

I remember him saying my diabetic cat needed to go so he could get a dog. We weren't even living together. I looked him dead in the eyes and said. "My cat will outlive this relationship" considering she was really sick at the time he said it was unlikely and stormed off.

We broke up 6 years ago and my cat is still going strong.

buffalosansbuffalo

Look At The Time

Not me, but my sister was dating a guy who angrily accused her of loving her elderly cat more than him. She said she did -- she had had him for 14 years and they had only been dating for about a month.

Guess he wasn't expecting that because he just kind of shut up and left the house.

honkdogs

Making Irrational Demands

I had a boyfriend I dated for a few months and things were starting to get serious. One day he said "you know if we ever move in together your dog will have to be an outside dog. Dogs aren't meant to be inside." My dog was a 7pound chihuahua. I told him if he was not willing to change his mind we would not be moving forward with us. He told me it was my loss.

I was ok with that. After that I would try and find excuses for my pup and potentials to meet before. When I met my now husband he told me he did not like small dogs. He met my pup and fell in love. Sadly she passed away two years ago but he just celebrated 12 years ago. I hope the other guy found someone good for him.

michaelleehoward

When The Partner And Pet Don't Mix

Sometimes, a person and an animal don't naturally mesh well. That's the reason so many pet adoption services do so many background checks, home visits, and interviews, to make sure the person and pet being paired up are going to do well together for hopefully the next several years. Bringing a new person into their lives can sometimes lead to bad vibes rubbing off one another.

Seems Like The Other Person Had A Choice To Make

I recently broke up with someone because he was allergic to my cat. He lived about an hour away and we really clicked but I couldn't convince him to spend the night at my place ever and I told him point blank that Pudge was here first and he'll be here probably another ten years. So I didn't think it was going to work out. He suggested we move somewhere with a basement and Pudge could just stay in the basement or outside. Hah. I was like hard no buddy. My current SO loves my cat so much. He bathes him monthly and feeds and plays with him. He adores him and honestly I get a little jealous of them haha.

warniva

Fighting Like...Well, Like Cats And Dogs

Two friends of mine dated seriously years ago. Girl's cat had jealousy issues and peed on guy's shoes. Guy put cat in the bathtub and pissed on cat. Relationship didn't last much longer.

Edit: I really should have mentioned that he was wearing the shoes when the cat did this.

tonypearcern

Animals Know. Oh, They Know All Right.

The dog chose me lol I divorced my husband and his dog destroyed his house and sadly wouldn't eat properly or do anything but stress until he came to live with me and my dog. But to be fair, my ex is terrible at pets. He just kept him outside all day and night with no interaction. The dog is a Great Dane and at the time it was me, my toddler and my dog in a little town house but we gladly took in the big guy over keeping him alone and miserable with his actual owner.

Davis1511

Spiders Aren't For Everyone, But, Wow. What A Jerk.

I bred tarantulas professionally for a few years. Most were in a specially designed shed outside, but I had a few in the house. Was totally upfront with people when dating, and if it was a dealbreaker, then no hard feelings.

I dated this one guy for a few months, but we'd always go out or to his [house]. I didn't really think much of it. Around month 4, he started getting annoyed and one day, straight up asked me how long it was gonna take to "sell a few spiders".

I thought he was talking about my actual job, so I was like, "oh, I sell them in bulk to a supplier. He's coming round on Tuesday, actually." And my bf was so relieved, but I couldn't really understand why.

So the dude comes round on the Weds and sees the tarantulas in the house and goes on an [absolute] tirade about how I lied to him, how I've broken his trust, and how he's gonna need time to heal. NGL, I just burst out laughing. I was like, "you really thought I was gonna give up my job for you?"

Well that was apparently not the reaction he expected. He stormed out, yelling about how I was such a dumb b-tch for not realising how great he was lmao. Tried to crucify me on social media, but he just ended up looking like an idiot lol

CrazySnekGirl

Unnecessary Hate​

My now ex and I were together for 5 years when 8 rescued my 3 legged dog kelsey, for some reason he couldn't stand her, she really is the sweetest thing. After 1 year of moaning and threatening me over her I was getting to the end of my tether. We'd been together nearly 7 years when one day he said it's me or the dog, I looked him dead in the eye and told him not to let the door hit him on the way out. He moved out and kelsey and I have since adopted another 3 dogs

chickenlegz86

Then There's Those Truly Awful Reasons...

You'll know the moment. It clicks, right away. You have to choose either the life of your beloved animal or staying in a romantic relationship with a person who clearly has no interest in keeping them safe.

The choice should be easy.

Give Them The Dignity Of A Decent Death

I had a 17 year old basset spaniel mix. He was suffering from arthritis and would sometimes yelp when moving. The girl I was dating suggested she could mix a few drugs up and allow him to die peacefully. She even offered to do it for me so I wouldn't have to know since she didn't believe I had the nerve to do what was best. That was the last time I ever spoke to her.

A year later a friend saw him and believed he only yelped when moving because his pig sized testicles hurt when banging against his legs when walking.

He eventually passed away and I had him cremated. My friend asked if they charged me extra for the 2 bowling balls he was sporting.

This was 5 years ago and she still jokes about my dog's testicles.

DrakanKlaive

You Can Just Tell

I found out my girlfriend was hitting my dog when I wasn't around. I left her and she was unable to admit that was the reason. I guess answering the question of "what happened to you guys?" With "oh he found out I was secretly hurting his dog" might make for awkward conversations.

40ozSmasher

How did you find out?

TimeUnderAOnce

You can generally tell when someone's been hurting a dog or a cat based on their behavior towards that person. Like, if a dog that was previously super excited and happy to meet new people or interact with people that you bring over is now skittish and hides from specific people, or is suddenly aggressive towards them, there's a good chance that they've been hurt by that person or have seen that person hurting someone else (ex: a child).

I have a cat that has even placed himself between me and something that he thought was going to hurt me. It was the vacuum cleaner, but the thought was still there. Animals know when something is scary or dangerous, and will usually let you know how they feel about it in their own way.

_Insanity_C_

...Dump That Chick.

I found out that me ex had been talking to her mom about putting my dog down while I was at work and just telling me she ran away or something. Before that moment I never would have thought I could have violent feelings towards someone. But now I know in my heart that there's a serious possibility I would have hurt her had she actually done it.

3leftturn

On the surface, it can't be easy choosing between a human and an animal. It might feel wrong in some ways. However, if you're a truly good pet owner, you know that their life and comfort matters just as much as any other living thing.

Even if it means going single for a little while longer, do what's best for every individual involved.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

People Who Wouldn't Quit Their Job If They Won The Lottery Explain What They Do

Reddit user BITE_AU_CHOCOLAT asked: 'People who wouldn't quit their job even if you won the lottery, what's your job?'

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
work

People Break Down The Biggest Bombshells Their Therapist Ever Dropped On Them

Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

therapy

People Describe The Most 'Small Town' Thing They've Ever Witnessed

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?

living

The Wittiest Things People Have Ever Heard Someone Say

Two women laughing
Photo by Dave George on Unsplash

Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.

More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.

Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.

Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.

Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:

"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"

Don't Give Me So Much Credit...

'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."

"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."

"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."

"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"

"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher

Eternal Optimism...

"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."

"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465

Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...

"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”

"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”

"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia

Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office Giphy

Double Whammy!

"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."

"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93

Can't Hide Your DNA...

'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."

"She cracked the code."

"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93

Self-Sufficient!

"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."

"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."

"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'

"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody

Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations Giphy

A Miracle!

"My brother-in-law’s comment."

"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."

"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."

"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."

"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."

"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."

"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"

"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn

Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...

"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."

"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."

"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."

"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."

"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379

Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K. Giphy

A Bit Too On The Nose?

"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."

"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."

"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."

"'What would you expect to find there?'"

"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB

Not Yet, Anyway...

"I was working with my friend and his dad."

"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."

"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."

"His dad asked, 'what for?'"

"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."

"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890

Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...

"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."

"She told this story to him:"

"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."

"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."

"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."

"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."

"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."

"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."

"She asked him what was wrong."

“'What’s wrong???'"

"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714

On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO Giphy

Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...

"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."

"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52

Read The Room People!

"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."

"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."

"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"

"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl

There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".

As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.


witty