When I was young, if I spoke out of line my mother would make me eat soap. And not pleasant smelling Dove bars, disgusting, mustard yellow, industrial dish soaps. I always found that excessive. I maybe could've understood if I had the mouth of a trucker but I'm talking about a stray no or you suck here and there. I did learn a lesson, well several lessons. And I never acquired the mouth of a trucker, well... around her. I won't even get into when I briefly was an altar boy who assumed he was allowed to take hazard pay from the collection plate gatherings. Talk about punishment. I do believe the punishment should fit the crime, but so often the punishers seem to get lost in proving a point rather than paying a penance or consequence.
Redditor u/ZetamusMaximus thought we should chat about the times the punishment different fit the crime by asking..... What's the dumbest thing you've ever been punished for?
The Stink
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I got sent out of drama class because the teacher told me my perfume made me smell like a cheap hooker and when I left the room she sprayed me with her own perfume on my way out.
"WHERE IS YOUR TITLE?!!!"
In college I once got a full letter grade off a paper because I had 7 sources instead of 5.
Same professor almost failed me because my presentation was supposed to be on the last possible day. I didn't actually pick the day I was presenting, by the way. Every presentation was on a different subject and he assigned dates to each one, you just had to pick the subject you were going to research and do the presentation on the day it was assigned. I picked the last one because it was something I was genuinely interested and knowledgeable in.
The day of my presentation comes up and I'm there with my laptop and a backup on a flash drive and he starts the class by saying "I don't want to do any more presentations. If you haven't presented by now you'll get a zero on the assignment," knowing full well I had signed up for that presentation months in advance and was the only person left. Had to go to the Dean and present proof that I had the presentation ready beforehand and that I had signed up for that presentation months in advance. We reached a compromise and I just got a B on the project without having to present.
Dude had it out for me and I'm not sure why, never will be. He even took a letter grade off a paper for my title because he didn't like.... something about it? Idk, he never even told me what his logic was, he just wrote "WHERE IS YOUR TITLE?!?!?" right next to my title which was very clearly up at the top of the page, centered, and following the format he had assigned us.
edit: Oh, senior year I got a very stern talking to from my professor in some bullsh*t class called "Health Through the Life Cycle". Why did I get such a stern talking to? We were having a discussion about whether or not we should allow polygamous marriages and I was the only person in the class against it.
a fat slice
When I was a teenager working at McDonald's a special order came back without tomatoes. So I made the sandwich and sent it up only to have a manager come back and yell at me for not putting tomatoes on the sandwich. He then slaps a fat slice of tomato on the sandwich and send it's up. Turns out an old lady was allergic and I got chewed out. The next day I got fired for it.
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During a session I built a tower of wooden blocks and he insisted my parents punish me if it fell down.
Since it was a tower made of wooden blocks it fell down and I was punished (banned from playing SNES or something).
He was later banned from practicing psychology for some reason or other.
Deep Dislike
I had a teacher in middle school who just outright hated me. The day before a major project was due she had me show her what I had, and then proceeded to tell me I had done it all wrong. I went home and "corrected" it, staying up pretty late to change what she told me to.
So the first person goes up to present, and it's done JUST the same as I had done. Second person goes up, same thing. Then, when there's time for one more person to go, she looks around the room pretending to look for another person to go before her eyes lighting up as they rest on me, knowing I had done the assignment wrong due to her comments and now I can't go back home to do it right. So I go up and it looks like crap and I of course get a bad grade.
Nobody believed me that she had lied to me and when I of course got a bad grade, she finally had what she needed to make sure I was academically suspended from my sport causing me to break down in class. Later a different teacher overheard me talking crap about it and saying I'd love to get her back and I got expelled for threatening a teacher.
Lesson Learned
At my school we had to wear our ID's visibly (most wore it around the neck). This was the first year of the school requiring this, so it was new to everyone.
Around halfway through the first semester, I forgot my ID at home. We had block scheduling (half my classes one day, half the next) and I had two backpacks, one for each day. I put my ID away and forgot to transfer it to the next day's bag once I got home. Easy mistake to make.
Due to my parent's work schedules and the distance to school, I got dropped off super early, like over an hour before school started. I realized I was missing my ID, so I went to the office to get a temp one since there was absolutely no way of getting my ID from home.
I got it. But I also got detention. Which was the punishment for being caught without your ID.
Funny thing was I knew that if I just went to classes and stuff like normal the teachers probably wouldn't have noticed/cared that I didn't have my ID and there's a solid 90% chance I wouldn't have gotten any punishment at all for not having it.
So thanks school, you taught me that the punishment for trying to make things right for an honest mistake that doesn't hurt anyone is the exact same as not trying to make things right... only I'm guaranteed to get caught if I try to make things right. So it's better to conceal your mistakes and hope nobody notices.
Great lesson.
Damage
I was recently fired for following COVID safety protocols. A coworker was feeling ill, so I quietly gave her a thermometer to take her temperature. It was "damaging to the image of the company." We came to an agreement that if they honored my unemployment claim, I wouldn't tear them a new one.
Now I can get out of that industry and ensure my safety. I'm pretty cool with it in the long run. I was satisfied with our arrangement. Plus, even if I decided to sue and won the case, the publicity would possibly complicate my future employment opportunities. Also, I fear conflict.
Keep your 50!
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At my old job, I had my annual review. They told me that I did the work of 3 people and they loved me but because I used my sick/personal time earlier in the month (my kid was sick) that they 'really look down on employees that use the sick/personal without any prior authorization/notice.'
Then they had the balls to tell me if I know my kid is asthmatic that I should avoid taking any vacation hours in the summer (separate time off from sick/personal time) if I know he is going to get sick in the fall.
Instead of the bullcrap 50 cent raise, I only got 30 cents because of that. 50 cents was max.
I no longer work there.
Ruled
One of the requirements in my grad program is seminar attendance. There's sign in sheets that are collected during the seminar.
And then because someone who rigidly followed the rules did what they asked and emailed explaining their situation, that's how we found out they never checked them.
Multiple people missed that seminar. The only one who was chastised and warned by the administration was the one who let them know he wouldn't be there. Punished for following the rules.
God Bless
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I started going to a sort of catholic club. One day, the rosary thing took a little longer. I got home one hour late and was grounded for three months. FOR PRAYING AT A CHURCH.
Being Social
Logging on to my personal Gmail on a school laptop. Because those were not for social media. I got a 3 day Suspension.
I remember a study hall teacher I had way back in high school flipped out about me using Facebook.
I had done all my homework, and not only that, another student near me was on Facebook and I could see papers sprawled out all over the desk.
To be fair, that teacher singled me out so goddamn much.
You're Sorry!!
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Finding a wallet in a mall. A woman started screaming while I pick up, accusing me of stealing. Security took me to their office, a hour later they let me go, saying she drop and was recorded.
Still waiting for apologies, was like six years ago.
No Coughing
Once coughed in class and the teacher ranted that she didn't expect me to have that sort of outburst (she thought I was laughing or crazy).
Okay this reminds me of the two separate times a teacher accused me of faking being sick for attention. In grades 3 and 7 I had a persistent cough that lasted for weeks. And both times after about the 3rd day my teachers convinced themselves I was doing it on purpose. First time was Pneumonia, second was Whooping Cough.
Day Camp Issues
I went to some summer day camp thing with an emphasis on sports when I was like 5. A bunch of my friends from school were there as well.
We were all just hanging out in the gym, I think playing basketball, when one of the counselors just abruptly rounded us up and put us in time-out. I assume it was something one of my friends did, because to this day I still have no clue wtf I did lol.
tanking....
I have epilepsy. I didn't call my work to let them know I couldn't make it that day, I was in the Hospital and could not get my cellphone. In hindsight I could have asked a Nurse to get me the number, but after a seizure i'm not thinking straight for a good 2 days or more.
Later, I get home and see I have numerous missed calls and texts, I ignore it all and wait until my next shift.
My boss calls me in and basically told me not to have another seizure. Since I never enrolled in FMLA (my fault) he claimed me having a seizure cost the company money. My brain messed up caused, a multi billion dollar company to lose money? I must be a top asset apparently..... Or these fools are about to tank.
Sing Out
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My parents used to make me do singing competitions when I was in elementary/middle school. After hours of continuous practicing, I'd start forgetting the intricacies of the song (ie. trills, crescendos, whatnot) or I'd briefly zone out and mindlessly sing. Got grounded nearly every practice for that.
Looking Into It
One time this kid that constantly bullied me every day in middle school was bullying me at recess so I did what I was taught To do and stood up for myself and chased him away. Next thing I know he punches me hard in the stomach. I tell my mom after school and she drives me back to tell administration.
The school knew that I was always getting bullied and after "looking into it" my assistant principal for my grade and the principal sat me down at recess and told me it was my fault because I "instigated" it even though he was making fun of me. Then they told me the usual "if you kept your interests to yourself they wouldn't bully you". I didn't really get a punishment per say, just a slap on the wrist for expressing myself.
It's just a spill....
For spilling soda my teacher brought to the Christmas party. The 2 liter bottle was already shaken up, perhaps from the ride in her car. I didn't know this and soda spilled all over me, the carpet, and her mother's cooler that she deiced to bring. She turned red with anger and shouted at me, making the room go quiet and having all eyes on me (I understand that she was mad I got soda on her mother's cooler, but why bring it if this kind of thing were to be expected with 12-13 year old kids?).
Everyone watched me as she made me wet a cloth and try to clean the mess on the carpet as I cried (this was in 6th grade and when my anxiety was at it's absolute worst). No one was allowed to help me and it was so embarrassing for me. I got called "crybaby" after the whole ordeal.
After that, she tried to make it seem like it never happened and tried to be all buddy-buddy with me after that. I didn't talk to her for the rest of the year for anything, I was too scared of her after that. Looking back on it, it makes me angry how she dealt with the situation.
I'm a Nerd
One time in middle school I got suspended recess time for carrying a notepad.
It was 4th grade, and after lunch was recess time, go out and play and burn off some energy. Sometimes kids would get punished and not allowed to go out for recess, they would have stay inside.
I was feeling asocial that day, so I brought a notepad and pen to work on this D&D campaign I was running.
A teacher saw me carrying that, and just assumed it was because I was on suspended recess. I tried explaining that I just wanted to write outside, and asked her to find the person who ordered that punishment, but she didn't want to listen.
I wasn't too upset, as my goal was to sit quietly and write/brain storm, but it was still messed up as I felt like I was being punished for being a nerd.... would have been nice to be a nerd outside.
Wrong Answer
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For having an anxiety attack brought on by the very teacher who then punished me for it and told me to get over it.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.