One consistent sad truth about life is that for just about every person, life is often full of regrets. There are far too many shoulda, coulda, wouldas moments that will haunt many of us until our last breaths. Regret is a hard pill to swallow, but we must never allow it to impede our future. Starting today lets make the goal going forward be that we will make the most of every second and opportunity. And when we feel like we're regressing, we will learn form the past of ourselves and others.
Redditor u/damnthispandemic wanted people to discuss the moments in life they wish they could do over, in hopes the rest of us do better by asking.... What's one thing you deeply regret?The Letdown....
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Was struggling with anxiety and depression, going on auto pilot for a couple months. Wanted to visit with my friend but never had the energy. She died unexpectedly in February. Feel like I let her down. I always try to remind myself of that. Just wish that those days where I was like, "I should pop in on my way home" and then not cuz I was tired.... idk, I think no matter how it worked out I would have felt something wasn't done right. Just part of grief I guess.
be active
Not being an active decision maker in life. Just flowing through time and life like a dead plant.
All the worst case scenarios you've played through in your head aren't nearly as bad as the regret. Plus pretty much none of them play out.
Story of my life too. And then I look at what I've done with my life and I get sad. 31 working a minimum wage job. But at least I have a job.
Love your parents....
Not calling my parents more. I lost both this year and I'd give anything to talk to them one more time. Or hug them both.
I feel this and am sorry. 13 years for me this year and I still miss them every day.
The Cheat...
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Dating my ex.... believing I was his girlfriend while he cheated, for too long.
This was me... crap hurts when you finally realize it and step away.
You will find somebody so much better, and with a name like pizzalover2458 you are probably lots of guys type.
Rest Without Anger
Asked my husband to sleep on the couch that one night. I woke up to find him dead the next morning.
My wife asks me to sleep on the couch every once in awhile when my snoring is out of hand and she has to get up early...
It's not uncommon. I feel the greatest amount of empathy for you, such a simple request between partners that neither of you could have foreseen to have such terrible consequences. I hope you understand that you aren't responsible for what happened.
Jump!
Being too scared to make the leap. Justifying myself back from the edge. Staying safe, where absolutely nothing happens.
I am an amateur musician. Always playing by myself in my bedroom for years. I had a few friends I jammed with but nothing serious at all. Slight performance anxiety kept me from getting out and expressing myself. On a whim I went down to a local amateur jam at a bar, nerves on absolute damn edge.
I was welcomed with open arms, friendly faces with similar lifestyles. Ever since I've been going every other week for a couple years, joined a band that is locally successful, met women, bar owners, pro athletes, hardcore bikers, comedians and all sorts of unique characters. Became a regular and well known. Gave me a purpose that still drives me to this day. Take the leap, man!
Hold On....
When my dad told me he was dying, I was 10. We sat out back and it was the first time he showed emotion. He said "Do you know what cancer is?" To which I responded "Yes" and he began to hug me and cry. As a 10 year old I didn't understand the depth of what he was telling me, now at 34 I deeply regret not hugging him for longer that day.
Forget Him!
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Loving a guy only to find out he had a girlfriend the whole time. I think the regret comes from me letting him screw with my head for much longer than the relationship lasted.
Dude! This happened to my friend! The guy even invited her to his home country to meet his family and as soon as she landed, he told her that they should only act like friends. Her visit lasted a whole two weeks. Two weeks, heartbroken, with a guy and his family and his girlfriend and over a thousand dollars short because she paid for both of their flights. Screw that guy.
Always get Help
Not seeing a psychiatrist sooner. Spent 6 years getting a 4 year degree, and that's with a full course load every semester. Struggled throughout my entire school life. Struggled with talking to people. Thrived online and over text though. The year after graduation, finally sought out help. Turns out I have a learning disability, specifically, auditory processing disorder. Requested reasonable accommodation at work and my production doubled. All I needed was to be able to read what people were telling me.
I've watched more movies in the last 2 years than I have in my whole life, subtitles are a game changer. I'm living in a new world.
If you think movies and shows are impossible to follow, if you walk away from conversations with no idea what was said, if you have bosses constantly repeating directions to you, or if you hate phone calls because they're ineffective, that's not normal! Look into it!!!
Pick up
Not answering my friend's phone call as it was late at night and I had exam the next day. Woke up to the news that she killed herself.
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Finding a Way
Letting my anxiety get in the way of me being happy. Not everyone will like it or use this method. But I am a Christian, and I recently gave my anxiety and life to God I really recommend it, I know not everyone will want to do this, but trust me, it works and it feels amazing.
PUSH HARDER!
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Not trying.
I'm in my mid thirties and only started really giving a crap about myself in the last 5-10 years. Before this I was OK with just drifting.
Now I look back at all the accomplishments I've made over the last few years. I have a good job, people that care about me and some people even look up to me.
Everyday I live my life with pride and a sense that I have more to give but I still have regrets.
I think about what I could have done with my life if I tried harder and pushed myself in my teens or even in my early twenties.
Knowledge Hunt
Not going to school when I should have.
School put such an immense amount of pressure on me to perform well (Was one of the top pupils of the year, so thats why) that I literally broke and became a shell of a human. If I had turned up every day, I honestly would have either had a brutal mental breakdown or killed myself.
Humans vary so much, there is no way anyone can convince me that the schooling route and the way the system works caters to every single person. Theres no way.
I'm Sorry
Being a horrible piece of crap to my old friends. It really screwed me up mentally and emotionally in the end and I'm still dealing with the consequences. If there was one thing I could change in the past, that would be it. I said some unforgivable things and acted like it was their fault.
Nonsense....
Reading that "how do you get over someone?" Thread here from yesterday. I thought I was fine before but that made me spiral pretty hard.
I checked out that thread too, but I just kept seeing the same old "time heals all wounds" nonsense. No. Time does not heal all wounds. There are some wounds that will only heal once you recognize a specific problem, and deal with it.
Some problems require you to go through specific steps and run through a specific path in order to reach a solution
I was still head over heels for my last ex 5 years after we broke up. In 5 whole years, my feelings never diminished. two and a half years were spent with extremely little contact between us, but even then I thought about her every day, and always at my worst.
What finally got me past her was one last conversation. One last time I tried to reach out to her, and she met me with hatred. I realized how broken everything had been, too broken. I realized there was no hope at all. No spark to ignite, no embers to fan. The person I knew and loved was long gone. All that was left was a void, and thats exactly where all of my feelings for her went. No more chest sinking when I think about her, no more heart aches when I hear songs that used to remind me of her. No more pain.
You Gotta Get Friends....
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Not being more social and spending lots of time alone in my room in high school. It's difficult to make friends and break out of your shell later in life, and even your best friends have bigger ambitions than living by you their whole life.
Not sure how old you are, but I think a lot of people become their most social selves in college. In college it's easier to find people with similar interests and quirks as you.
Anyway, I can relate. As I got older and started working, I didn't make an effort to be social after work and on weekends and found myself alone a lot. It's hard!
Toxic Shock
Being the toxic one in the friendship when I was keeping myself convinced I was the victim.
This is literally me! I kept complaining to my other friends saying that I was the victim, I was in a toxic relationship. I kept spreading shit about this friend that I called "toxic". Years later I've realized how toxic I really was :( so I feel ya.
Relax. Breathe.
Constant worrying.
Either I worried about something and it didn't happen, so I was choosing misery over literally nothing... or it did happen and I just found a way through it.
Maybe I dealt with it, maybe it worked itself out, maybe somebody helped me out... but it was never once improved by me worrying in advance.
Release the Baggage....
I only have one regret.
I didn't have time to reconcile with my sister before she passed of cancer. Literally got there a few days late, she was induced into a coma and I watched her fade away over a few days.
She was not a good person growing up: lied, cheat, steal, drug addiction etc... and I carried a lot of issues as I got older but I wish I could have just had a conversation with her before everything went south. She made numerous attempts when she was diagnosed to mend our relationship but I just wouldn't have any of it.
Thats on me and I've carried that baggage for a long time.
Focus on You
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Caring too much about what people think of me.
I feel this one.
3 of Us....
I wasn't a very nice older brother when me and my two younger brothers where younger. I almost killed them a couple of times just over stupid crap. But when you're 12 and a few inches taller then your brother it's too easy to just manhandle them.
We have a great relationship now all three of us call and play games at least once a week but I don't know if it'll ever be enough to undo the harm I've caused them.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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