Have you looked outside your house today?
Nothing might be happening or everything might be happening. Depends on where you live, obviously. Location can matter a lot to your overall state of mind, like whether you wake up every morning ready to go to brunch with the gals down the street or if you're grabbing your signs, ready to protest. For good and bad, everyone has that breaking point, and the world has broken a lot of people lately.
Reddit user, u/frognik, wanted to know:
When did you stop giving a f-ck and why?
You Can Only Be A Doormat For So Long
GiphyWhen I realized that no matter how nice and patient and understanding I am, people will still leave and I will still be perpetually treated like sh-t. The amount of times I've literally just let people punch me in the face and I have done... nothing... to "be the bigger person" only to see that it did nothing but make that person feel as if they have no consequences to their actions is what really made me realize that being the bigger person is a load of horse sh-t.
Such A Jaded Young Man
5th grade. I got into my first fight. It was a kid that showed up that year and took to hanging out with the few friends that have me the time of day and turned them into my worst bullies. He antagonized me for months and one day at recess we were all playing a game and they all agreed to completely ignore me the rest of the day. Not even moving to avoid my path just bumping into me if I was in the way.
I got fed up. And well, I think you can guess what happened from their.
Work Bleeds Into Real Life
When my management job started becoming too stressful to deal with, when it started spewing into my non-working time. Yet my anxiety still makes me give a f-ck, even though I know I personally, don't give a f-ck anymore.
Too Much Pressure All The Time
realizing I didn't wanna live like my mom. my mom always wanted the picture perfect family. I don't wanna live life like her. Always worrying about her "image" and what other think of her, always having to please ppl. Always pleasing.
Yeesh. So Much Effort For So Little Return.
After my 7th grade social studies midterm exam, I made hundreds of flash cards and even made a matching game out of them. I still ended up getting like a 72% on it.
Yeah! Go, You!
When I gained 60 pounds after high school. I used to be super self conscious as a teen in high school. I was extremely body conscious to the point where I quit the swim team because I was too ashamed of my body to continue. I never wore shorts in the summer because I thought my legs were too fat. I never wore sleeveless shirts. Then I gained a bunch of weight after graduation and said f-ck it. I buy shorts. I wear crop tops. I wear sleeveless shirts. I am trying to lose weight now because I know I'm headed down a bad slope but I'm almost glad I gained the weight because it taught me to stop being so self conscious.
When No One Believes Them?
When someone threw a traumatic event that happened to me in my face because they thought I was lying. Their sister ended up backing me up but at that point I was just done trying to help people that didn't treat me well. I will help you until you hurt me, but I was done letting people walk all over me.
A Complete Turnaround
I went to my shrink to avoid getting sent to the mental hospital and she changed my life. She pointed out that now that I knew I could cross that line and kill myself, I could just do whatever I wanted and if everything went to sh\-t on me, I could just kill myself. On that day, I stopped giving a f-ck about what anyone wanted, but me. I filed for divorce, came out of the closet and two months after that, met the love of my life. We just had our 15th wedding anniversary. But I haven't given a f-ck in a long time. What I want and how I want to live my life is all I am concerned with. As for the "other guy"? He comes first, right after me.
Welcome To Your Thirties!
GiphyWhen i turned 30 i realized i was pretending to give a f-ck for the past 5 years, all the time, creating f-cks in my head so i could give them, because i thought that was the way humans must deal with stuff. So i decided to embrace the f-ckless person that i became, and stopped giving fake f-cks completely. So now i just honestly don't give a f-ck anymore and don't feel bad about it.
Take A Possible Negative And Turn It Positive
When I realized at one point that everything I believed and did was completely wrong and had a huge existential crisis, along with a huge shift in my views and hobbies. This was probably a good thing though.
You Can't Change Their Mind
When I learnt that people are always pass judgement no matter what you do/say, since then I just do what makes me happy and let me sleep well at night.
Doesn't Matter How You Got There, You Still Got There
When I took molly and in the morning I was going through an afterglow and danced in front of my house from 9am to 2pm straight, even after being recorded by my neighbors, I just realized like. I don't f-cking care what people think anymore. I'm thirty and I've spent most of my life chasing people who don't give a f-ck about me while pushing away people who love the everliving sh-t out of me. I'm just done. I'm over it.
the person who's opinion matters of me is me, my partner when I find one and if I ever have a child, them.
Then You Have To Ask If It Really Matters
When I realized that people will talk/have an opinion on anything you do
Word. Also, knowing that a lot of talk/opinions are either bullsh-t or lies is icing on the cake.
It's Only You
About 2 years go I had a revelation. From birth to death, nobody has to spend more time with me than I do myself. Therefore, the only persons approval I have to have I my own. It has allowed my to quit worrying about sh-t I cant control and say f*** the BS to any negativity that may come my way.
Get To The Grind
When I realized adulthood is just endless grinding and leveling up.
When I realized how sooooo many people are absolutely full of sh-t.
When I realized all the "tough guys" were mostly wormy little b-tches.
When I realized all the motherf-ckers who'd been gaslighting me were dead wrong.
When I realized we're all specks of dust in the middle of f-cking nowhere.
Double The Pain
After I had to let both of my parents go.
Dad had his blood vessel in his head burst, along with prior kidney failure. The doctor said the surgery had less than 40% success rate. I figured out I we can't handle the cost, so I let him go.
Mom passed away 2 years later due to breast cancer, I told the doctor not to resuscitate her, at the time I just want to allow her to rest. She had been fighting for 4 years, staying alive just to see me graduate from college.
After all that, I find it hard to give a f-ck. I just wanna live my life and not be bothered, man.
A Changing Perspective
After my Mother died of stage 4 lung cancer.
People would be amazed at how tiny everyday life issues become in comparison to this emotional behemoth
Right there with you. I watched my dad suffocate as we took him off life support after lung transplant complications while he was in a medically induced coma. When I'm having a bad day, I remember that day and knowing there isn't much that can top that.
Then I remember how amazing the friends and people around me were to take care of my family. Makes the day a bit better in some weird way. I try to see if anyone else needs some help and I think less about how bad I'm feeling and I just let things go.
Turns Out The World Is Way Too Big To Care About Everything
GiphyI figured out caring about everything thing isn't good for my mental health.
I want to care about nothing but I can't. I keep caring about too many things against my own will.
Caring is will. So it can't be against your will. All this means is you have conflicting desires.
You want to have some desires fulfilled, but you also want to be free of those desires. The latter is achievable with some introspection. I was able to realise for instance that many desires I used to have (in terms of career, relationships, hobbies...) were actually my parents', and my peers'. Because I had the deep desire to please my parents, and be accepted by my peers. Once I realised that, I said "f-ck it", and I started to investigate my actual desires, and pursue those.
It still causes a little pain when I think about being rejected, but I don't care. A life lived in fear of being rejected by others if you don't meet up to their expectations, while denying your own true aspirations, is not worth living in my opinion. And it turns out, most people I know supported me in my choices. And I don't spend time with those who don't.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
"What is the hardest part of dating after 30?"
Not Everyone Wants A Package Deal
"Realizing that the number of single parents is larger than you’d expect."- dhabo1030
"Some people have kids or want them soon."
"And emotional baggage."- Psyblade0_0
"Kids, whether you have them or not, is something to talk and consider immediately before starting anything."- Crisb89
"For me, it was finding someone who didn't have kids, and didn't want them."
"At that point in my life, I was (and still am) 100% sure I don't want kids."
"Finding a long-term partner who wants the same was pretty tough."- Toiletpaperplane
Playing Happy Children GIF by MOODMANEveryone's In A Hurry
"'Dating after 30 is like catching a city bus after midnight'."
"'There aren't as many, but they're faster'."- civex
How Long Have You Got?
"Online dating sucks and all my friends are married or dead or single fathers."
"So I am on my own for the most part."- somedude-83
"It's not all fun and games anymore."
"People feel late or behind."
"First dates often: are we compatible, do you want kids, are you OK with my kids, are you ready for a serious relationship, do you make enough money, do you own a home, politics?"
"Religion."
"I don't have time to mess with you if we aren't a match because I'm in my 30s and supposed to be married and having kids."
"The days of just light fun dating are less common."- ZLVe96
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphyEmotional And/Or Excess Baggage
"Geez."
"You sometimes pay for what their ex did to them."- JJJAAABBB123
Rising Standards And Expectations
"You have your preferences narrowed down a LOT more than you did in your 20s, thus finding a compatible partner is more difficult."
"Especially if you dislike kids."- Clintman
"Many people want 'high value' partners while having no value."- Zetterburger40
Sassy Red Wine GIF by Married At First SightGiphySolo routines Can Be Hard To Shake...
"I've learned I prefer my own company."- PrinceEnternalStench
Alternative Methods...
"The summoning rituals you have to go through."- AdCareful5654
Wait Till Your 40s...
"Wait until they’re over 45."
"Most are divorced and have been alone for a while."
"It‘s a reset of dating and they’re open to try something new."
"That person who was out of your league is now squarely in your court."
"Go for it!"- macgiv
See Ya Goodbye GIF by MaxGiphyGood Luck Getting A Good Night's Sleep...
"CPAP Machines."- Reddit
As long as you are single, finding love is one of the many things you think you might never achieve with each passing year.
However, when you do finally find that one true love, no matter when or how old you are, you will realize in no time at all it was definitely worth the wait.