People Who've Almost Been Murdered Share Their Survival Stories
I live to tell...
We live every second of everyday on borrowed time. What they say is true, we start dying the second we're born. And we avoid crisis and death more times than we realize. One of the main causes of death that is always lurking near is evil. Fact. People are crazy and there are way too many people willing to exterminate the life of another. How many of us have tales of escaping death at the hands of another? Far more people than we'd like to believe.
Redditor u/Robz05 was hoping people would be willing to share some stories of hope and survival by asking... Have someone you know ever tried to kill you? And why?One of my favorite shows of the past decade was a creepy tale on FOX called "The Following." It starred Kevin Bacon and it was about a cult of serial killers. It used to come on at 9pm on Mondays. I would take my dog on a really long walk at 8 because I refused to go out after 10pm once the show was over. It reinforced for the me the fact that crazies are everywhere. Need proof? Listen...
Blades
When I was about 4/5 (f) (I had dreams about it growing up and then was told the whole story when I was older) my half brother (who has empathy issues and poor choice skills; 16 at the time I believe) was playing a game where him and his friend were bad guys and me, my sister, and our cousin had to run from them. We were also playing in an abandoned shop our grandparents owned.
Well he ended grabbing one of those sharp circle blades you cut wood with and threw it at me; slicing my head open. He then proceeded to scoop me up and climb on the roof while I was bleeding in his arms. My grandpa had to climb onto the roof and take me from him so I could go with the ambulance.
Vehicular
Someome decided to string a thick line of wire across a dark single lane of an unlit country road at the night. The plan was to take out a vehicle in the hopes of killing the people inside. Well, the people inside were my mom and me, and the attempted murderer... he was good old dad. A true narcissistic psychopath who despite his serial infidelity and his pathological liar, who decided he could not take the hit to his pride and ego of mom filing for divorce first.
Her saying she was done before him was an unthinkable situation in his mind. He decided he would rather play the role of grieving widow then rejected husband. And as for me, he knew how he could use the death of his daughter to manipulate women in sleeping with him.
Fun Times
My dad's mother tried to drown me when we visited her (for the first & only time ever again), because she didn't like that I was born a girl :). She wanted a grandson. From what my mother says: My dad's mom let me swim in her pool, 'cause hanging out with adults is boring (they were there to talk about her husband who had died recently, my dad's dad). My parents were inside with her in the living room. She said she wanted to check on me & she'll be back in a minute.
Much more than a minute passes, Ma starts getting worried. Dad goes to see what's up. Closer dad got to the backporch door, heard splashing, saw her trying to drown me in the pool & my dad knocked her to the ground. Yelled for my mom. Ma snatched me up & took me to the car as I struggled & cried, trying to breathe again.
Filed a police report & they never made contact with her again. Fun times.
Duck and Cover
car GIFGiphyMy ex husband and I had been separated a few weeks. I arrived home late at night from work. My work shift ended at 11:00 p.m.
I didn't notice his car in the parking lot as I walked toward my apartment until he gunned the engine and drove straight toward me. I ducked into the entrance alcove and his car struck a parking barricade and the curb and some landscaping before it stopped within 2 feet of me and the building. I ducked inside and called the police (not for the first time).
Ok, see there? You can't even trust the people closest to you. You just never know what kind of warped mind is too close for comfort. This thread is making think about hitting up the shooting range. Or maybe I'll go back to church. Ask God for some shelter. I'll continue...
Under the Water
When I was around 7, an older kid at the local pool was trying to teach me how to do something (dive, I think?) but I wasn't catching on fast enough for him.
So, naturally, the best way to express his frustration was to try to drown me.
Chopped
Not intentionally, but my dad ran me over with a boat once. The propeller went all the way up my side. Surprisingly, didn't really cut me though, just left a line of crazy bruises and a couple of scratches from my knee up to my shoulder. Still hurt like a witch.
That was Then...
Mine isn't so much an attempt to kill my brother, it just could have ended that way. Anyway...
When I was around 10 and my brother around 4, we shared a room. He would drag his red tricycle into the house and up to our room and ride it in circles in said room. One night mom yelled up the stairs that dinner was ready and we needed to come wash up for dinner.
Broham parked his trike right in the doorway, I was annoyed by this and proceeded to push him and his trike down the stairs. He held on for dear life and rode that thing to the bottom like some kind of trike pro, then slammed into the door at the bottom of the stairs. He got hurt, but nothing was broken. Just some cuts and bruises.
We are best friends now.
The Last Call
This man my mom was with kidnapped me when I was two years old. I've always joked about it because the guy was just a loser alcoholic and I assumed he did it just to upset my mother. When the cops found us, we were at his favorite bar. What kind of idiot kidnaps someone and then goes to a place where everyone knows that you go? That's why I never took it seriously.
Well, two weeks ago, I'm texting with my older brother and I made a joke about him kidnapping me. I said something like "what was he planning on doing? Raising me? Killing me?"
He was maybe ten or eleven when this happened, so he remembers a lot of that day. He told me that I'm lucky to be alive. Apparently, he planned on killing me. My mother had lied to him and told him that I was his kid. In a brief moment of clarity, he pieced together that the timing was off and I wasn't his. He went to that bar so he could get drunk enough to go through with it.
I still can't really believe it.
Liar
Looney Tunes Reaction GIFGiphyMy mom's mom did not like me. At all. I always tried to be polite and pleasant and helpful. One day when I was about 16 she asked for my help with an outlet she had been fixing. Of course I ask if she'd turned the power off. She said yes. She lied.
PUSH
I'm so glad you asked!
I was ten years old. After school with a couple of neighbor friends. We walked a block to the corner store for snacks. Walking back home, we're standing on the corner. Next thing I know I wake up in the hospital. Find out I was hit by a 30mph mack truck. Kid next to me pushed me into it.
Told police I , "darted into traffic and turned around to taunt them." Ten years later I found out from a mutual friend the kid admitted to pushing me. That kid is currently in Indiana State Prison for two counts of armed robbery. He's still "innocent" for pushing me.
(Currently looking for legal help before offender is freed in 2026. He will hurt somebody else).
I Can Taste It
My mother-in-law did something to me the first two times I went over for dinner. The first time she put an allergen in the food, and then when I asked before eating (as I always do anywhere I eat) she lied about it. I could clearly taste it and had a really bad reaction, then she suddenly remembered that it was there. The second time, we reminded her of the allergy, she cooked food with the allergen in it, but then admitted it before I started eating.
Just Eat It
A kid a used to hang out with in my neighborhood wanted to test my peanut allergy, so she deliberately ate a PB&J before seeing me and was very adamant on sharing a soda. Another kid was in on it, and when I drank from the soda after she did they were both wide eyed and asking me if I felt ok. Luckily my allergy was not extremely sensitive so I did not have a reaction and I was completely fine. The other kid told me about a year later and that's the only reason I knew. I stopped talking to both of them.
Don't Shoot
What Did I Do Love GIF by juliaveldmancGiphyNot intentional. But my idiot friend negligently discharged a .357 magnum in between my legs.
It blasted a bunch of mud and dirt up right into my business and actually hurt my testicles and for a second.
Ramming for Me
I was riding my motorcycle home from work, when all of the sudden this van starts aggressively blocking me from passing him. No matter what I did he would block me over and over. He was literally swerving from lane to lane to block me out. Finally, I passed him and then made a poor decision. I gave him the finger for blocking me.
He immediately floored it and rammed me from behind causing me to veer into another lane and slam into the side of a semi truck. I managed to save it through sheer luck. I unfortunately never got his license plate number but it was the closest I've come to being murdered.
No Air
Not me, but a cousin of mine when he was a kid tried suffocating his younger toddler sister with a pillow to make her stop crying.
He didn't know it would kill her though. They're both fine today.
Freedom!!
My ex-husband was a controlling a**hole who eventually cheated on me. When I found out, I told him I was taking our kid and leaving. He seemed cool with it, even to the point where he was willing to drive me to my friend's house to pick up empty boxes to pack my crap.
On the way there he told me I was never going anywhere again.
After he attempted to kill me, I walked a mile and called the cops from a daycare that I found. They picked me up, took me home, and found him and told him he had to be out of the house for 24 hours so I could pack my crap.
I called my mom, who sent my sister and nephew to drive eight hours to pick me up with a Uhaul.
I never pressed charges because it would have meant staying in that city in order to do so, and I was terrified and alone.
That was almost 14 years ago. Life is much better now.
Leaving Me Behind
Can't be proved but my ex husband - I had some work done on my teeth under general anaesthetic, wasn't supposed to be left alone. He laid me out in front of the gas fire and went out to do whatever... I woke up hours later to an empty house and the smell of gas everywhere. I used to chalk this up to him being thick and self centred but realistically... he had no need to leave that long when he was supposed to be keeping an eye on me, and he seemed really surprised to hear from me when I called, thinking back on it.
Frenemies?
Two friends i had snuck into my bedroom one night and tried to hang me from my bedroom door. They locked the door to stop it from opening and woke me up to brag about how easy it was. I started banging on the wall while choking to wake up my other housemate. Their ego is why I'm still alive.
Only One
country music baby GIF by Toby KeithGiphyWhen I was a baby and my brother was toddler, he tried smothering me with a pillow lol. My mom found us in time. I guess he took "there could only be one" seriously.
Everybody always seems so innocent. Clearly it's all an act and a plot. When you can't even trust grandma, there is no hope left. I would say recommend reading this thread to a friend, but not in the dark. Bless those that are still able to tell the tales.
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The Weirdest Animal Facts People Know
Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked: 'What is the weirdest animal fact you know?'
People accumulate facts throughout life on a wide variety of subjects.
Some are mundane while others are weird, wild or wonderful.
One subject a lot of people focus on is animals. Most people have a favorite animal that fascinates them that they want to know all about.
Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked:
"What is the weirdest animal fact you know?"
Like Perry
"Platypus glow blueish green under ultraviolet light."
"They also don’t have nipples, they just exude milk from glands under the skin and the baby’s lap it up."
~ WakingOwl1
"They have electrolocation in their bills that lets them detect their food under water."
~ DrPlatypus1
"And they lay eggs."
"The more I find out about them the more I understand why people first thought they were fake."
~ Reidroshdy
"After seeing all these platypus facts I am convinced these things are aliens that have been abandoned on Earth."
~ SeattleOne206
Kapow!
"Mantis Shrimp have 16 different sets of cones. Rods and cones are in your eyes. Cones see color, rods see light and motion."
"Dogs have 2 sets of cones—green and blue. Humans have 3 sets of cones—green, blue and red."
"Mantis Shrimp are seeing colors we can't comprehend and explains why they're very colorful."
"That’s not even the strangest thing about them."
"They can also punch as fast as a .22 bullet which cause a cavitation bubble which boils the water around them at temperatures of several thousand Kelvins."
~ RigzDigz
GiphyTerrible Twos
"Cats have the mental capacity of a 2-year-old which makes a lot of sense."
~ Alive_Ad823
Cats Dragging GIFGiphyLike Tinder
"When a female sloth wants a mate she'll hang onto a tree branch and just scream."
~ Remarkable_Sink2542
GiphyGood Thing They're So Small
"Dragonflies are the most successful predators on Earth."
"When lions choose prey they have like a 10% chance of catching it."
"African painted dogs—who hunt in packs—have the highest kill rate of any mammal, successfully catching 51% of their prey."
"When a dragonfly locks onto a target, it has a 99.9% success rate!"
~ PurpleInevitable2103
GiphyOn A Swivel
"Owls have really long necks, but it's hard to notice that because their feathers are so fluffy."
~ ergonaut
GiphyWhat About Cousin It?
"Sea otters are the most densely furred animal with 600,000 to 1,000,000 hair follicles per square inch."
"Dogs have about 15,000 per square inch, humans on average are between 800 to 1,290 hairs per square inch."
~ atom1129
GiphySucker Punchers
"Octopus punch other fish for no reason—so, for fun."
~ Samanthalynn8915
"There's a direct correlation between species' intelligence and dickish behavior."
~ TheDesktopNinja
Looks Are Deceiving
"Polar bear fur isn't white—it's translucent (for most frequencies of light). And they have black skin underneath."
"So polar bear fur lets all the light through to their black skin to warm them—except for a few visible frequencies to keep them camouflaged as white."
~ seedanrun
GiphyWho's Going To Attack One‽‽
"Honey badgers can turn their a**holes inside out and use the smell to deter attackers."
"Not sure what exactly has the guts to attack a honey badger, but if they have the courage to do so, the badger sure as hell isn’t gonna make it easy."
~ nonexistantauthor
GiphyBig Momma
"The Blanket Octopus exhibits the highest degree of sexual dimorphism known."
"Females: About 6 feet across."
"Males: About one inch."
~ Fabulous-Pause4154
High Times
"Dolphins will intentionally use puffer fish to get high."
~ altkaldra
"They upset blowfish so they inflate, and therefore emit poison. It gets the dolphins high. Then they pass it around, literally."
~ smack4u
"Not just the dolphins. I recently saw a video about 10 animals that like to get high. Very interesting."
~ s137leo__
"Lemurs do that with giant centipedes/millipedes too."
~ chubbyknuckles420
Fabrizio Frigeni on Unsplash
Better Than Bike Helmets
"Woodpeckers' tongues wrap around their brains to cushion them from the vibrations of slamming their face into trees all day."
~ we_made_yewww
"Their tongues also have barbs to grab bugs out of the holes."
"Their brains have additional cushioning because, you know, they spend their days smashing their face as hard as possible into trees."
~ RhynoD
Detachable Organs
"Argonauts [paper nautili] are small octopuses that are too lazy to have intercourse."
"They detach their penises and toss them into the open sea to mate with female argonauts."
"The detachable 'd*ck' is a tiny tentacle, complete with suckers and sperm, that develops in a cavity under the eye of a male argonaut [paper nautilus]."
"When it's time to mate, the tentacle explodes out of the cavity, instantly killing the male argonaut. The tentacle then swims towards a female argonaut to insert itself."
"Sexy, huh?"
~ Schwarzes__Loch
What's your favorite weird animal fact?
People Share Their Wildest 'I Can Fix Them' Dating Experiences
Content Warning: Mental Health, Suicide, Domestic Violence
We all know that we technically can't make anyone else do anything, and we certainly can't "fix" other people. Other people will only change or do something if they choose to; the only person we can really control is ourselves.
But some people really love to try, often to hilarious and terrible results.
Already cringing, Redditor Dapper_Algae6280 asked:
"People who entered a relationship thinking 'I can fix them,' how did that go?"
Time for an Upgrade
"There is a weird thing that happens when you 'fix' someone. They tend to think if you liked them broken, then they deserve better than you now that they are better than they were."
- TheRealLifePotato
"As horrible as it sounds, to have a happy, emotionally healthy relationship you need two happy, emotionally healthy people. If you want to be in that sort of relationship, you need to fix yourself first."
- inactiveuser247
"This right here. After three sh*tty relationships in a row, I realized this is a me problem. I took a few years off from dating to reflect and really learn to see red flags and understand myself so I wouldn't make that mistake again."
- MikoSkyns
No More Spark
"My now ex had PTSD, depression, and a variety of other issues she claimed. After two and a half years of dating (being my first and only relationship), she became more social, less suicidal, and overall happier as a person."
"She decided to cheat on me with someone else due to 'lack of communication' and us 'no longer having a spark". The irony."
"For context, we were 17 at the time, in high school, and I worked full-time hours with initiatives to hang out, which were refused. Red flags everywhere."
- elteragxo
"Your situation is eerily similar to mine, what the f**k?"
"I met a girl with mental and emotional issues and decided to fix them through a healthy relationship. She recovered and found someone else because 'the spark was gone.'"
- Aimlessdrifter8778
Misery Loves Company
"Now we are both broken."
- Brave-Butterscotch76
"The same thing happened to my sister-in-law. She married a very negative and miserable guy while saying 'he will get better' or 'we’re working on it,' and now she’s a very negative and miserable person."
- Moreofyoulessofme
Getting to Watch a Partner Grow
"At first we were only f**king. I don't know if I ever thought I could fix her, but I did fall in love with this beautiful lady with severe anxiety, depression, and trust issues after being in a domestically violent relationship."
"We were f**k buddies for about six months and I got a glimpse of her issues but I still went ahead and asked her to be my girlfriend The heart wants what it wants."
"We dated for a year and a half (two years since meeting), and I actually got to see her at her worst a few times, but I was finally able to get her therapy with a great psychiatrist and treatment, this is when I asked her to move in with me. We've been living together for six years."
"Four years ago, she had the worst breakdown I've seen. She went full-on paranoid, wall-scratching nervous, she was even doubting me and my motives to be there. It was a very difficult week, and she left the house and went to her mom's house in the middle of the night."
"Eventually, her therapist was able to get a hold of her and get her back to her senses. Her doctor then suggested that I also should go to a counselor or at the very least we should do couples therapy so we had strong bases for our relationship and we did."
"I now look back and won't change her for anything in the world, she has grown so much, and she glows right now. I now see her smile and it's glorious. She's achieved a great position too and it's amazing just to see how much happier she looks."
- Spiritual-Narwhal666
Not a Match
"I fixed what I wanted to fix, but that still didn't make us right for each other. In the end, I think she's in a much happier place than she could have been, so I think it was worth the time invested."
"We were wrong for each other, but at least we both came out better positioned to receive the happiness that would come to us later."
- MrWeb20
In Their Nature
"A couple of months into the relationship, I fixed him."
"After some irritation, he stopped peeing on the carpet. Now, my cat still brings mice, but I guess, that's just his nature."
- mobileJay77
The Importance of Boundaries
"I don't know if I would say that I 'fixed' her (and I wasn’t trying to), but I definitely taught my last ex the importance of being able to set boundaries and to stop going out of her way to please people who consistently hurt her."
"Eventually this would lead to us breaking up, but I have no regrets. I have issues of my own that were wearing her down and she did what she had to. Same rules apply. We’re both better off because of it."
- TylerTexas10
Happily Ever After
"She fixed herself and I fixed myself with each other's support, and we are living happily ever after, it seems, with ongoing work on ourselves and our relationship."
- DonPronote
An Uncommon Ending
"I didn’t fix them. But I tried my hardest to be patient and supportive while they fixed themself. Sometimes I was better at support than other times. Sometimes they were better at fixing than other times."
"It ended up being worth the patience. Things have been great with us for years now. I know this isn’t the normal outcome though, and I feel incredibly lucky."
- I_Invented_Frysauce
A Little Help from Our Friends
"Usually I'm the one people try to fix.. I think the repeated attempts definitely helped me. Now my current partner gets to enjoy the previous hard work."
"...I think I just got tired of hurting the people who love me and fixed myself, though."
- addrien
All Their Idea
"You can't fix anyone. You can only fix yourself, but if you really want to try and fix someone, you have to make it seem like it's their idea."
- BuhrZap
A Helping Hand
"I don't think you can fix anyone. You can only help them fix themselves, which is very different."
"If someone is actively trying to fix themselves, and you can actually be the person to support them through it, then it can work, but it could also not work."
"I do think there should be a distinction between the two. I mean, trying to fix someone is a bad idea, but if you like someone and are willing to support them in their journey to fix themselves, it's probably not the worst idea in the world."
- brooksie1131
Lesson Learned
"It went so well that they managed to cure me of the desire to 'fix' anybody."
"I’ll toss you a life preserver if you’re trying to save yourself. But I’m not jumping in the water with anyone so they can drown me on their way out."
"People who need to hit rock bottom in order to better themselves will use you to soften their landing if you let them."
- GlobalPermit5428
Best Friends Forever
"It went well but it didn’t work out."
"So we kind of fixed each other we were both at very weird points in our lives and we only dated for about one and a half years. We didn’t need a romantic partner but we did need a friend in each other."
"We’re both in better places now and the best of friends. We both want each other to be part of our lives just not as lovers."
"All and all, I say we got the best outcomes in our lives."
- CODMAN627
So Worth the Investment
"He was an Uber driver with only a high school diploma."
"I married him anyways and bankrolled his education because he was fun as f**k to be around, was the smartest person I’ve ever met, and loves me like I’m the only woman on Earth."
"Now, he’s a computer engineer and we are landlords together and have bought investment properties. We are very happy together."
"Partners work together to create success. I think selfish people ask, 'what’s in it for me?' Marriage is about selflessness."
"I’m glad I sacrificed for his education. His mind would be wasted otherwise and he’s a genius."
- BabyElephantWalks
In most of these cases, the situation went poorly after a Redditor tried to change someone, and for good reason. If that person isn't ready or doesn't want to be fixed, it's only going to damage the relationship.
There's also something to be said about unconditional love. If you don't want to date the person exactly as who they are right now, why are you even trying to date them?
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Tough guys put on a facade that indicates to others that they always know what's going on.
But their confidence doesn't always match their intellect, which is probably why they cover their insecurities by walking around and trying to show everyone who's really the boss.
If that's the case, they should keep their mouths shut because not everything that comes out of their mouth needs to be heard.
Yet, it can be amusing to everyone else.
Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor PrototypeShadowBlitz asked:
"Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've heard from the 'alpha male' community?"
You might find these guys at a bar.
The Dude Must Be Hungry
"Had a run in once with a group of young lads about something in a bar and one of them said we are top of the food chain bro and you will be the prey."
– insertitherenow
"'Whatever, mall ninja" -proper response."
– TheEighthLord
If The Shoe Fits
"That they were an alpha male."
– I_Have_A_Name37654
"The use of 'Alpha Male,' unironically is every indication that you're dealing with a child's understanding of manhood."
– 88Dubs
Brat Pack
"Me and my bros are all alpha males."
– SonOfDadOfSam
"I was skiing one time and rode the lift with a guy that said, 'I don't feel no pain. I live with 5 roommates and none of us feel any pain.' Okay, bud. That's a really interesting coincidence."
– NicPizzaLatte
They sure thrive on making sexist comments.
Contagious Femininity
"A coworker said, 'I don't spend too much time with my girlfriend because I'll become too feminine.'"
– Lazy_Natural6154
"FELLAS IS IT GAY?!"
– aliebabadegrote
Sexist Categorization
"I have been called a beta for saying that my wife makes more money than I do. She works in a more lucrative field and is more educated than I am, so it makes perfect sense that she makes more than I do."
"So I came back, and this post has really blown up. There's just a few things I want to clarify."
"1- I have only ever been called a beta online."
"2- I work full-time in project management. I have a master's degree. I have a 6 figure salary."
"3- My wife has a PhD and works in finance. She also has a 6 figure salary, it's just a higher salary than my own."
"4- I'm sorry to anyone who might feel as though my original post misled them."
– ExaminationDouble240
It's Teamwork
"A real man would be proud of his wife for achieving success, and not fall for that sort of insecure bullsh*t."
"It's not a contest, that's the real joke here. Good on you for seeing the big picture."
– Mrbeardoesthethings
Do these roles about parenting sound familiar?
Childish Things Are Too Girly
"Real men don't take their kids trick or treating is one that I heard recently."
– constructionguy89
"Related. Guys who brag about not changing diapers, not playing 'girly' games, etc. Essentially guys who brag that their only contribution to fatherhood is money and masculine things like fishing or football. Even then some of them brag about not paying a lot of child support to prove they didn't let the system take advantage of them."
"I can't imagine a life so empty my only accomplishment worth bragging about was being a terrible parent."
– Green7000
This Woman's Work
"I was told that taking care of my kids is woman's work. Apparently it's concerning that I try to spend so much of my free time with them. Oddly enough the meatheads at my grappling club think it's sweet I occasionally have my daughters' hair clips on and nails painted."
– MrFunktasticc
People discussed rules in the bedroom.
Never Submissive
"That a man is turned off when their wife/girlfriend seduces them, because if she wants sex and shows it she is a sl*t, also making the man the submissive one…"
– kamalaophelia
Stifling Emotions
"Not the whole community, but was cuddling with a guy once and could tell he was trying not to get emotional over something that was bothering him. He said, quite literally, 'it's not alpha male behaviour.' I told him that I liked that he showed emotions sometimes, and he looked disgusted by the fact that I pointed it out."
– LambLifts
In high school, a classmate who was on the football team said I was a "sissy" for listening to classical music.
The other classmates laughed at me, which was hardly surprising since all of the guys on our unbeatable football team were considered stars on campus.
This kind of mockery was a typical day for me.
I can laugh at their idiotic comments now but back then, I don't know why I ever let them get under my skin.
We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.
Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.
Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.
As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.
Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:
"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"
The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...
"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."
"We had to have an assembly about it."
"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky
Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."
"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."
"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."
"It wasn't."
"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."
"I quit a few weeks later."
"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin
The Bread Of Heaven
"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."
"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinate
catholic the exorcist GIFGiphyRetracing Steps...
"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."
"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."
"Always kept about a half block behind."
"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."
"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep
Hygeine Be Damned...
"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleia
exercise push up GIFGiphyBad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...
"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."
"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."
"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."
"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."
"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."
"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."
"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."
"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."
"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop
Things Best Left To Professionals...
"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."
"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."
"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologist
uruguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphyAt Least A Lesson Was Learned...
"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."
"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."
"He ran off and no one saw."
"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile
All Creatures Deserve Love
"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."
'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."
"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn
That's What Friends Are For...
"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."
"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."
"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100
Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphyNot The Right Kind Of Manure...
"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."
"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."
"I did this because I was bored."
"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse
A Little Fantasy Now And Then...
"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."
"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."
"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."
"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."
"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."
'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."
"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."
"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343
dating app GIFGiphyIf anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.
Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.
Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.