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People Admit The Dumb Things They'd Do Differently If They Had Known Better

The old saying goes, "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss." Living too long in the past can mean you miss out on the future in front of you. We've had heroes in books and movies tell us for years that you should move on. Forget the past. Nothing beneficial happens if you dwell on previous events. However, if given the opportunity, there's no doubt many of us would like to go back and fix, maybe, one (read: TWELEVE) things. That was in Reddit user, r/ReallyJustSomeGuyy's mind when they asked for Reddit users to tell:

If you woke up 5 years old but with all your memories leading up to this day, what would you do differently?

Protect The Chompers

Brush my f-cking teeth.

Arancaytar

But do it gently. Speaking as a person with receding a gum-line and damaged enamel. That stuff doesn't grow back.

_Canadian_inCanada

Become The Child Prodigy You Were Always Meant To Be

Do I get the brain-learnin' capacity of a 5 year-old? If so, learn more instruments and more languages. Among other things.

bleedcamo

Save Yourself A Lot Of SuperBowl Heartache

Stop being a Jets fan.

t0mf0rd

Pre-Schoolers Have No Idea The Gift The've Been Given

Take all the opportunities I had to nap.

Aurora320

Find A Better Vice

I'd avoid cigarettes. That was a poor choice in my teenage years.

I'd also avoid a few of my girlfriends, also bad teenage year choices. Those two things alone would probably have a massive impact on who I become.

p--nplaysmusic

How Would A 5-Year Old Get Stocks?

you spelled stock market wrong. ;)

was actually thinking both microsoft and apple, probably a few others worth it... problem being how a 5 y/o is going to convince the adults around them to invest in the stock market.

kuraiscalebane

Own The Playground

Be the baddest dude in school with my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I'd UFC1 all my bullies.

AdalineTheMaker

There's A Story They're Not Telling

Bitcoin

Apple stock

Don't put my finger in the ultrasonic humidifier that one time because now I know it hurts.

Qender

This Person Speaks For Many Of Us

I would just dress up like a fairy princess and play with Lego all day. All the stuff its hard to get away with doing as an adult.

penguinsforbreakfast

Sometimes It's Okay To Be A Little Evil

So am I 5 yrs old, with the mental capacities and memories of a 28 yr old?

I would manipulate the sh-t out of people

physhstyx13

Just Date, Like, All The Dudes

Ask out all the guys that I had a crush on and knew later they were also interested in me but were too shy to make a move.

ByeChick

Speak Up More

Tell my dad to go see a doctor, and to quit smoking.

_JustJerk

Sometimes, You Need To Wait

Take a gap year before college. I feel like I rushed too soon into it and deciding a career path when I should've taken time to reflect, mature, and figure out what I want from life.

serendipitV

Bring A Checklist With You

So much, pay more attention in school, not date in HS, keep my friend out of that car accident, have my sister's ex arrested, take better care of my car, not get so many tickets, just so many things

randisuewho

Get The Crying Out Of The Way First

  1. Cry hysterically with relief
  2. I would do... gosh, just about everything differently

edit: I should mention that while I love my children and wife deeply, I probably got married too young and was really overwhelmed for a while. I also developed a chronic condition for which there is no known cause or cure but that is very, very painful. I probably would have been stuck with it at some point anyway but there were definite triggers I could have avoided when I was younger. My life is pretty dark except for a few bright spots, unfortunately.

[username deleted]

Hug Your Brother Every Day

I would hug my little bro every day of his life. We lived so close as brother and as a big brother I always pick on my little bro. We grew a little bit a part after he finish his college as he kinda run away from the family and get married to a woman that the whole family though was a bad news for him. 4 weeks before his tragic car accident, he somehow came to my home and stay with my family alone without his kids and wife. He just came and we kinda reconnect after all the years we were away from each other. Me working in another country didnt help either during that period. On the day he passed away, he was in the hospital as his wife was delivering her daughter. I still remember how happy he was when he called me from the hospital about his daughter. On the way back he got into accident and passed away on the spot.

_BloodBathX

Dream Big

I'm in my 60's. This may get long.

The first thing I'd do is cry and hold my parents who are now passed on. This would take hours. I'd snuggle them on the couch, and I'd listen more carefully to their opinions on things. I'd be more obedient, but I'd work not to tell them that an old man was in that body.

My God I would play. I would run like crazy though the woods again. I would soak up the sunshine of 1960...

...Now I'm entering puberty some years later and I have been carefully saving my money from chores at home. I start working harder jobs like mowing grass, and I find a man who knows accounting and have him teach it to me. I earn more money with my little business...

...By now I am an accomplished musician rather than the larva of a corporate douche bag. I live less expensively, and my home is very small and spartan. My wardrobe is plain and uninteresting. My wealth is piling up, and now I start making investments. But what I made really building up to is the roaring 90's and investing in Netscape, google, yahoo, and Apple.

[usernamedeleted]

Let It All Go

I wouldn't work so hard in school. I wouldn't seek approval from grownups to make myself feel whole.

I'd actually have fun - I'd make the wise-ss comments I used to swallow down, I'd f-ck around in maths class 'cuz I hated it, I'd enjoy myself at playtime instead of sitting in the library.

I'd be the biggest, loudest, free-est version of myself. I'd be a f-cking handful of a kid and I'd own it like a boss!

_B_JBear

Never Doubt Brady

Remember to bet on the patriots when they are down 3-28

Jackmoobs89

Baby Geniuses, But Good

Freak out adults with my adult understanding of the world.

0asq

Sometimes, It's Not What Everyone Wants

There are definitely things I'd like to change about my current self, but if I found myself waking up when I was 5 with all my memories, I'd just be very scared that I'd f-ck up my life with that information.

I like my life right now, how would I make sure I didn't butterfly effect myself away from meeting my SO or having the exact kids I have? I'd probably become so stressed out trying to recreate my life exactly as it was (warts and all) that I'd end up in a mental hospital.

Mycoxadril

And Sometimes, Be The Best Batman...

  1. Convince parent to take out massive life insurance policy.
  2. Go to the movies.
  3. Leave down a dark alley
  4. Become Batman.

DarthBurkey

H/T: Reddit

Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

Have you ever been reading a book, watching a movie, or even sitting down for a fantastical cartoon and began to salivate when the characters dig into some doozy of a made up food?

You're not alone.

Food is apparently fertile ground for creativity. Authors, movie directors, and animators all can't help but put a little extra time and effort into the process of making characters' tasty delights mouthwatering even for audiences on the other side of the screen.

Read on for a perfect mixture of nostalgia and hunger.

AllWhammyNoMorals asked, "What's a fictional food you've always wanted to try?"

Some people were all about the magical foods eaten in the magical places. They couldn't help but wish they could bite into something with fantastical properties and unearthly deliciousness.

Nutritious

"Enchanted golden apple" -- DabbingIsSo2015

"The Minecraft eating sounds make me hungry" -- FishingHobo

"Gotta love that health regeneration" -- r2celjazz

"Pretty sure those are based off the golden apples that grant immortality. Norse mythology I think?" -- Raven_of_Blades

Take Your Pick

"Nearly any food from Charlie and the Chocolate factory" -- CrimsonFox100

"Came here to say snozzberries!" -- Utah_Writer

"Everlasting Gobstoppers #1, but also when they're free to roam near the chocolate river and the entire environment is edible." -- devo9er

Peak Efficiency

"Lembas" -- Roxwords

"The one that fills you with just a bite? My fat a** would be making sandwiches with two lembas breads and putting bacon, avocado and cheese inside. Then probably go for some dessert afterwards. No wonder why those elves are all skinny, eating just one measly bite of this stuff." -- sushister

Some people got stuck on the foods they saw in the cartoons they watched growing up. The vibrant colors, the artistic sounds, and the exaggerated movements all come together to form some good-looking fake grub.

The One and Only

"Krabby patty 🍔" -- Cat_xox

"And a kelp shake" -- titsclitsntennerbits

"As a kid I always pretended burgers from McDonalds were Krabby Patties, heck from time to time I still do for the nostalgia of it all. Many of my friends did the same thing." -- Thisissuchadragtodo

Cheeeeeeeeese

"The pizza from an extremely goofy movie. The stringy cheese just looked magical lol" -- ES_Verified

"The pizza in the old TMNT cartoon as well." -- gate_of_steiner85

"Only bested by the pizza from All Dogs Go to Heaven." -- Purdaddy

Get a Big Old Chunk

"Those giant turkey drumsticks in old cartoons that characters would tear huge chunks out of. Those things looked amazing, turkey drumsticks in real life suck and are annoying to eat."

-- Ozwaldo

Slurp, Slurp, Slurp

"Every bowl of ramen on any anime, ever." -- Cat_xox

"Studio Ghibli eggs and bacon" -- DrManhattan_DDM

"Honestly, any food in anime. I swear to god half the budget no matter what the studio goes into making the food look absolutely delicious." -- Viridun

Finally, some highlighted the things that aren't quite so far-fetched, but still far enough away that it's nothing we'll be eating anytime soon.

That tease can be enough to make your mouth water.

What's In It??

"Butter beer" -- Damn_Dog_Inappropes

"came here to say this. i was pretty disappointed with the universal studio version which was over the top sweet. it was more of a butterscotch root beer. i imagine butter beer to be something more like butter and beer, which wouldn't be crazy sweet, but would have a very deep rich flavor" -- crazyskiingsloth

Slice of the Future

"The microwave pizzas in back to the future two" -- biggiemick91

"I've been fascinated with those for years! They just look so good!" -- skoros

As Sweet As They Had

"The Turkish Delight from Lion Witch & Wardrobe. The real ones I had weren't bad but nothing special." -- spoon_shaped_spoon

"Came here to say this. I know it's a real thing, but I always imagined that it must have been amazing to betray your siblings over." -- la_yes

"You're used to freely available too sweet sweets. For a WW2 era schoolkid, it would have represented all the sweets for an entire year." -- ResponsibleLimeade



Here's hoping you made it through the list without going into kitchen for some snack you didn't actually need.

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