Passengers On Grounded Planes During 9/11 Reveal What Their Pilots Told Them
September 11, 2001[rebelmouse-image 18353613 is_animated_gif=
Almost everyone who has memories of 2001, knows where they were and what they were doing on September 11.
Many say it is the Pearl Harbor or JFK assassination of Generation X.
But what about those people in the air on that fateful day?
Reddit user n8th8n0101 asked "To the people on a plane on 9/11, what did your pilots tell you when they grounded all flights?"
Here are their stories.
London to Los Angeles[rebelmouse-image 18353614 is_animated_gif=
My wife and I were flying from London to Los Angeles - about three hours into the flight my wife asked why the flight map on her video screen showed the plane flying east instead of west (apparently the 747 had just completed a slow turn). At that exact moment the pilot came over the speaker and told us the plane would be going back to the UK because there had been an incident in New York and that US airspace had been closed down. All passengers were requested to remain in their seats and the air phones were turned off. We ended up landing in Cardiff, Wales -- there were several 747s at the runway by the time we arrived.
The minute the plane landed dozens of cell phones were ringing. All the events of the day came all at once -- towers hit, towers collapsed, Pentagon hit and another plane crashed in PA and worst of all thousands had died. People were just stunned learning all these details. The airport terminal was just overwhelmed -- there were thousands of people and the support staff were doing their best to assist us but they had little information or resources. First they said that flights would be departing the next day so we could be getting overnight accommodation. My wife said there was no way that anyone would be flying anywhere in the near future and our best bet would be to catch a train back to London. Fortunately there were several passengers that had the same thought and somehow they arranged to get a bus chartered to take us back to Heathrow. While waiting for the bus we found a television and were able to see the images of the day. People were watching in stunned silence and many were weeping. Upon boarding the bus my wife and I shared a set of earbuds which was plugged into a radio that had a US feed going through local UK stations -- the news just kept getting worse and it was clear that the world had changed while we had been in the air. At about 1am the bus arrived at Heathrow which was absolutely deserted. Eventually we made it back to our flat in Weybridge -- we stayed up watching CNN International for the next few hours and as the sun came up we finally got some sleep.
It was a day we have spoken of often since that time and one we will never forget. I still have the boarding passes in my desk.
Singapore to Seattle[rebelmouse-image 18353615 is_animated_gif=
A friend of mind was a pilot for Singapore Airlines flying Singapore to Seattle. He was diverted into Canada, but only told the passengers the bare minimum that they were being diverted to another airport. It wasn't until they got inside the airport terminal and saw the TV that they understood why they were diverted. (Even he was surprised at the scale compared to what ATC told him.)
He was also the pilot in command of the first commercial aircraft to enter US airspace when it was reopened, and he recalled being terrified of deviating from his planned track. He had an uneasy feeling in the back of his mind that there was likely an F-14 a few thousand feet above him ready to vaporise them if he moved unexpectedly.
Dallas to Boston[rebelmouse-image 18353616 is_animated_gif=
Not me but my mom, who was and still is a flight attendant. She was working a flight from DFW-BOS that morning, they were approaching the northeast when they were diverted to Akron, OH. I'm not sure what she was specifically told but I know they knew something was up. Their flight communications are even included in transcripts from that day.
By that time both towers had been hit and they were headed west over Pennsylvania to land. My mom said they were all on edge not really comprehending the severity of the situation and wondering whether they might be hijacked themselves. They were communicating with Cleveland on the ground when the hijacking of United 93 began over western PA, so there was communication between both flights and ground trying to confirm that the screaming etc they heard on the frequency was really a hijacking? Apparently United 93 was right behind them and my mom says the crew was back and forth up in the cockpit and in the galley looking out the windows trying to see the plane, while trying not to scare passengers.
She was stuck there for a few days until finally renting a car with some crew and driving back to TX. Was supposed to be a simple turn around run that day and she didn't bring any luggage. She always carries an overnight bag now just in case and was the first person in my family to get a cellphone immediately after this.
The airline gave crew optional 6 month leave in the months following. Where I grew up there were many airline families, some took leave and some didn't but my mom said she had to go back to work without interruption or else she'd never be able to get back on a plane afterwards.
Dublin[rebelmouse-image 18353617 is_animated_gif=
Me and my brother were on our way to NYC this day. Our flight had barely left Paris (CDG) when we suddenly went into a descent. The Captain made an announcement that they had been ordered to return to Paris but couldn't comply due to the by then already crowded airport. So we landed in Dublin.
The airline told us that we were to be flown back the next day, but nobody really believed that, news to the why and how still being scarce.
We were free to leave the airport though, so me, my brother and a couple of guys from our flight shared a cab into town, going for a pub crawl. When in Ireland...
Where I met a girl whose flight got grounded too. Long story short:
Our kids are 6 & 9 and remind us every day: Nothing in this world is so bad that it doesn't have an upside to it.
Hong Kong to London[rebelmouse-image 18353618 is_animated_gif=
I was flying Hong Kong to London, so wasn't subject to the flight groundings, but the pilot told us there had 'been an incident' in New York and there would be increased security at the terminal.
Arrived at Heathrow and there were dozens of police walking around with sub-machine guns (English police might not be regularly armed but they do not mess around when they feel they need to be.) Still not sure what's up, but definitely something serious.
My parents grabbed a newspaper to try and figure out what happened and flipped through the very scanty initial reports with the big picture of the burning towers on the cover, while queuing for security . Person behind them asked if they could have a look and you could subsequently hear people gasping one by by one as the paper made its way down the queue.
Atlanta to Denver[rebelmouse-image 18353620 is_animated_gif=
I was flying from Atlanta to Denver. Our flight was forced to land in Tulsa, OK. We were told that there was a terrorist attack in NY and that our aircraft had been ordered to land. The pilot did not mention that ALL aircraft had been ordered to land. As the only brown person on board I thought: Great, they must think that I am a suspect and now we have to land.
Once we landed and I saw all the planes jamming the tarmac, I realized that it was something really big.
Newark and the Museum[rebelmouse-image 18353621 is_animated_gif=
My dad flew on 9/11 from Newark to Boston for work. He was on an earlier flight than any of this. Once he touched down in Boston and heard what happened, him and his coworker drove home (back to NJ) from Boston. Typically it's about a 4 hour drive. It took them almost 9. They didn't have to drive home but wanted to know we were okay. There was also barely any cell coverage on my home town end since we were so close to NYC.
I know this doesn't answer your question directly, but man this day hits home for me. It eats my dad alive to this day how he still believes he saw those guys in one of the airports and didn't know it.
I could see the smoke rising from my middle school like no tomorrow was in sight. No one went back to school for about 2 weeks. A lot of kids I went to school with had family members pass away. The anniversary always haunts me. I visited the 9/11 memorial and museum in NY a few years back with this girl I was seeing. She had never been to NY before and I felt crazy when I honestly started to cry inside (the museum). All the emotions got to me at once.
It's a day I'll never forget. And definitely a day that many more people other than myself will never forget for even worse reasons. I feel incredibly lucky to have a dad that's still alive today, when many of my friends do not have parents or relatives that are so lucky.
~ The 9/11 museum is very well done but I wish I was a little more mentally prepared before visiting it. I expected it to be more "cold statistics" and maybe lists of names but it's not that at all. For anyone who hasn't been, there are videos and pictures and stories of all the people who died that day, memories from their families, voicemail recordings of calls from the day. The last phone calls from people who were in the buildings and realized they weren't getting out. Stories from people who weren't in the office that day and in a blink of an eye lost every one of their coworkers. It's haunting and tragic.~
*We were told when we went in to expect it to take 2 hours to see everything. 7 hours later I walked out. I cried. A lot. I'm a 33 year old guy from the UK.
Nothing can prepare you for the room with the Pennsylvania crash calls. Nor the room with the jumpers from the WTC.
I was more emotionally exhausted than I have ever been after finishing.*
Orlando to Kansas City[rebelmouse-image 18353622 is_animated_gif=
I was 9 when 9/11 occurred and my family were returning home from a birthday trip to Disney, (my birthday is September 12th, 1991, so I was turning 10 that very next day) so Orlando to Kansas City. I don't remember the specifics but it didn't feel like we were in the air long at all (our flight had been at 8:20) before the captain had come onto the overhead speakers to tell us that there had been some pretty serious incidents occurring in New York City and that they were told to land as soon as possible and that we'd be diverted to Houston.
As soon as we landed, my dad had called my uncle (who lives in Hackensack, but worked in NYC) and my uncle had told him everything. My dad literally exclaimed into a kind of gasp-sob and that was the first and only time I've ever come close to seeing him cry. When we got off the plane, it was all over the televisions throughout the airport. My mom and dad practically clung to us the entire time from the airport to our hotel nearby.
The whole thing is something I cannot and will not ever forget.
Charters[rebelmouse-image 18353623 is_animated_gif=
My step dad was a pilot flying small private jets, and was in the air when it happened. He said they just told him to land immediately and he had to go into the airport to find out why, and what happened, and go back to the plane to tell the passengers.
I used to work with someone who owned a small plane. He was grounded for months, because his plane was parked in a no-fly zone. I don't recall what he was too close to -- whether it was a major city (Seattle), major airport, or military base.
Same thing happened with my dad, he was riding a chartered business flight from the Midwest toward the east coast. Had to land somewhere in the middle. Dad & coworkers got a rental car to keep going, but the pilot had to stay with the plane for weeks.
Air Traffic Control[rebelmouse-image 18353624 is_animated_gif=
It's so surreal to see the US airspace completely empty.
Here is a time lapse of the day.
Toronto to Montreal[rebelmouse-image 18353625 is_animated_gif=
(The pilot said) nothing...complete silence about it. I was flying from Toronto to Montreal. I noticed that the breakfast service ended abruptly and the stewards were acting funny, standing at the bulkheads and visually scanning the passengers. I listened to hear if the plane sounded funny or was behaving oddly...nothing was out of the ordinary so I went back to reading my paper.
Disembarked into a sea of people in Montreal, when I came down the escalator I didn't know where I was going to stand...that many people.
Many, many Americans that had no idea they would be visiting Canada that day. They were on the PA asking for people with extra rooms to lend, and Montreal'ers took them all into their homes...within an hour they were saying they had enough available rooms.
Language[rebelmouse-image 18353626 is_animated_gif=
Not entirely plane related, but my Dad worked near the towers and got off the train to see the second plane crash. It really messed him up inside. We lived in the Bronx, and everyday he went to the Park Avenue Armory where people lined up to find out about their loved ones.
My Dad noticed that many didn't speak English and they were having a hard time communicating. He wrote Translation Services on a piece of paper and stapled it to his shirt and spoke Spanish, French, and Russian. He got the relief effort to spread the word to get translators. It was all over the radio and TV.
The Japanese government heard and sent their best translators by special permission on a direct flight to New York (one of the few planes that could come to New York.) A Japanese bank had work space in the towers, and the relatives of the workers also came.
By the end, hundreds of people came, even those of more obscure languages from Algeria and Azerbaijan, among others. There was a fleet of Punjabi, Afrikaans, Creole, Korean, Italian, Spanish, French, Portuguese, Polish, Chinese. It's wondrous to see how something as simple as talking binds all of us. The City began implementing translation services everywhere since.
I was 12 years old at the time and didn't understand the impact. Today at age 28, I know my Dad was a hero.
Link to: an article translated from Spanish to English from El Diario about my father.
Link to: the original Spanish article
Washington DC to Miami[rebelmouse-image 18353627 is_animated_gif=
My dad was an armed high ranking federal agent. He was flying from DC to Miami. He usually sleeps on flights but was woken up somewhere over Southern Virginia, and asked to come to the cockpit. The pilots told him to guard the cockpit, and that he was authorized to shoot - he spoke to someone over the cockpit communication system confirming the authorization. He was given the jump seat next to the cockpit during landing, so he could see if anyone stood up. He told me later that the reason they were allowed to continue to Miami instead of putting down in the Carolinas was because he was on the plane.
When he died in 2010, my mom showed me the piece of paper he had kept, with his notes from that radio transmission. I think my older brother has them now.
When he landed, he was met by the three guys he was flying down to meet with, and they all drove back overnight, getting back just in time to help oversee the search at the Pentagon, where he worked.
I've never seen him as shaken as the day he brought home a piece of the desk from his office.
Los Angeles to Melbourne[rebelmouse-image 18353628 is_animated_gif=
I was on a plane from LA to Melbourne, with a stop-over via Auckland, and 9/11 happened while we were in the air.
Halfway through the flight, all the flight attendants got really nervous, and the pilot told us that due to a safety issue, the seatbelt sign was kept on throughout the flight, which we all found really confusing.
When we landed in New Zealand, there were armed guards with machine guns to greet us - which is very out of the ordinary for New Zealand. The first reports the flight attendants gave us was that it was the Empire State Building that had been attacked, that was how confused initial reports were. We were luckily allowed to fly on to Melbourne, but after that all international flights in Australia were grounded for a few days.
Surreal[rebelmouse-image 18353629 is_animated_gif=
My parents were flying the morning of 9/11. I dropped them off at the airport and drove to work. First tower was hit as I pulled into the parking lot. Radio people thought it was just a fire at the tower. As I went into work and checked the news, it became clear a plane hit it. As I was on the phone with my buddy, the second plane hit on the live TV he was watching. That's when it was clear this was intentional.
Started to tell my boss I needed to pick up my parents, but he cut me off and said, "GO!". I called my parents as I ran to the car. The TVs at the gates had all been turned off and they announced no flights would be taking off. I raced to the airport, picked them up, and drove home to eerily empty roads and sky.
Also weird was suddenly seeing a lot of planes really low as they headed to the airport near us to get out of the air.
And what made it even more surreal was that it was such a gorgeous day. It was so clear and the blue of the sky was beautiful. It felt almost inappropriate or irreverent.
I remember when they let planes fly again, I was a little traumatized every time one would fly over. It took me months to break the habit of staring at each one, making sure it wasn't crashing.
Empty[rebelmouse-image 18353630 is_animated_gif=
My father worked for Delta at the time as a supervisor in the airport. He was working a flight that was about to push back when everything shut down. He had the final paperwork for the flight crew and ran down to let them know they weren't going anywhere. Air Traffic Control had just announced the shutdown to all aircraft on the ground.
No details were given over the radio, just that an incident had happened in NYC and all flights were grounded. He announced over the plane's PA that the flight was canceled due to an unknown incident and everyone could retrieve their luggage in a few minutes.
There were no TVs in the gate area back then, but a few of the shops and snack bars had TVs in the ticketing area. As people got near a TV the word spread. Everyone collected their bags and left the airport. From about 11:00 on, the airport was deserted except for airline employees.
New Jersey to Georgia[rebelmouse-image 18353631 is_animated_gif=
I was on a United flight from Newark to Atlanta that morning. We were in the air when everything happened and were supposed to land about 9:00. Just before landing they held us in a"holding pattern" in the air. At about 9:30 we landed. No announcements were made on the plane.
Just as we got to the gate and people started turning their phones on, I hear phones start ringing everywhere.
"What happened...." "A plane hit what..."
At that point my phone started to ring as well. It was my wife wanting to make sure I wasn't on one of the planes. And she filled me in on what was known then. The pilot and cabin crew did not say anything about what happened in the air.
There was an eerie silence in the terminal. I did not see any TV screens. I went directly to the car rental company, got a car and started driving north, back to NY. Listening to the radio as much as I could the whole way back...
Across the Atlantic[rebelmouse-image 18353632 is_animated_gif=
London to Chicago. Pilot told us there had been a major incident and US airspace was closed. Asked us not to talk or speculate with other passengers about the incident (to minimize panic).
We turned our phones on as we taxied on landing in Montreal. Both towers were already down and phones were going crazy, people who had managed to get a call through were sobbing and trying to explain to those whose phones wouldn't connect what they had just heard. Absolute sense of disbelief all round and it didn't really hit until I saw it on tv in the hotel.
One thing we were told at the time by the pilot was that the pilot was out of direct contact with Air Traffic Control (ATC) in both London and the USA at the time, so they were talking to the plane behind them, who was talking to the plane behind them, who was talking to ATC somewhere. So they were getting garbled second or third hand information from multiple sources about planes crashing and hijackings and trying to inform their passengers while not being sure of the information they had received themselves.
When you fly over the Atlantic there is no regular direct contact with Air Traffic Control except through high frequency radio which is only used sparingly in absolute emergencies. On 9/11 they would have wanted to keep radio traffic to a minimum in case of another hijacking.
Logan International Airport[rebelmouse-image 18353633 is_animated_gif=
My father was the Air Traffic Control supervisor for Logan Airport on 9/11 which is where the hijacked planes originated from. Before they hit the World Trade Center (WTC) my dad knew they had been hijacked. They lost contact and then saw on the news that a plane had hit the WTC. He called Federal Aviation Administration headquarters and they thought it was a prank. By the time the second plane hit NORAD was telling him to ground every aircraft in their airspace.
He said the hardest part was not being able to watch the news. All of his controllers desperately wanted to watch, but they had to get all of those planes down. There were several times when they thought more planes had been hijacked. He told me it was the absolute worst day of his life.
Link to: Recordings of ATC communications from that day on YouTube - at the end of the recording you hear a controller warning incoming flights to increase their cockpit security, and the controller sounds so broken and exhausted.
Our Neighbors to the North[rebelmouse-image 18353634 is_animated_gif=
I was flying from London to Dallas and was diverted to Gander, Newfoundland in Canada. We estimate we must have been very close to Manhattan when the first plane hit. None of the crew would tell us what was going on, only that the USA had closed it's airspace due to an aviation incident and we would be redirected to somewhere in Canada. We landed at Gander, Newfoundland along with (eventually) 37 other jumbo jets; all 38 of those planes almost doubled the population of the town.
~This small Canadian town on an island in the North Atlantic Ocean took in nearly 6,700 people with no prior warning. Their hospitality to the unexpected house guests, from nearly 100 countries, drew worldwide accolades and inspired the Broadway musical: _Come From Away. _The airport there marks the closest point between Europe and the U.S. and is a preferred emergency landing spot for medical and other emergencies. The 38 planes came "fast and furious" into the airport. Officials spent the next 31 hours unloading luggage and people.~
After we had landed, the captain told everyone what had happened and there was of course utter shock on the plane, lots of tears (most poignantly from two middle eastern gentleman sitting across the aisle from me) and conversations. After several hours waiting on the plane eventually we were moved into the airport where we officially entered Canada as refugees(!) We were allowed our cabin bags but there was no access to the luggage in the hold.
There was hot food waiting for us in the airport and we were then moved onto school buses and driven to various places around the town, I think it was about 22:00 (10pm) by this time. Spent three nights sleeping on a church hall floor with mattresses, pillows and covers donated by locals, others slept on the fire station floor etc, wherever there was room, and were fed three meals a day by volunteers. There was just one hotel in town and the flight crews and those too infirm to sleep on the floor, were put into that. The local University opened it's computer rooms so people could email home and the local phone company put loads of phones out on the pavement to try and ease the massive queue to what we think was the only payphone in the town.
If anyone from Gander is reading this, you all have a heart of gold, the way we were all looked after.
After those three nights, we were woke up early by a British Airways member of staff about flying back to London. We were all moved onto a school bus where we sat for a long time before we were driven back to the airport. Went through the usual security procedures at the airport, reboarded the plane and took off for England.
Plane took off, everyone applauded once we were up in the air (first and last time I've ever seen that happen after take off instead of landing!) and we landed back at Heathrow. Declined British Airways' offer to book new flights to Dallas and instead accepted a refund. We decided we'd only have about two weeks of what would have been a three week holiday left and also we'd rather Americans trying to get home had the seats.
Link to: Operation Yellow Ribbon - Canada essentially became a giant aircraft car-park, 238 aircraft were diverted to 17 different Canadian airports, 33,000-40,000 people.
Link to: Tom Brokaw documentary about how specifically the town of Gander, Newfoundland came to the aid of so many stranded passengers.
When it comes to possessions, everyone is different depending on the individual's tastes and demands.
After all, one man's trash is is another man's treasure, or so they say.
Possessions can also include intangible assets like ideas, talent, trademarks, and intellectual property.
While the list of these items is endless, there are some things people shouldn't go through life without having.
This was explored specifically applying to one gender when Redditorsimmer5523 asked:
"What is something every man should own?"
Listen up, gents.
"Hi, Proud owner of many f'kups here, trying to be better."
"A self-awareness based sense of humor. I define this as a man understanding that it's okay to be the butt end of a joke. Don't hang your pride on being untouchable... if you lean into a joke, it passes you faster and nobody at all really cares. I have found that people think I'm more confident and charismatic than I actually feel."
"Sorry bro I lost that years ago along with any confidence in myself."
"You can always get it again."
These can be practical necessities, regardless of gender.
"A good quality bucket. You never know when you'll need it. This applies to everyone, not just men."
"And something in the larger size range."
"Hey man, it’s not about size, it’s about how you use it."
Odds And Ends
"Add a flashlight with spare batteries, condom and Plan B, car jack, plunger, tire iron and weapon to the list of 'it's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.'"
These can definitely come in handy.
"I had a roommate once who didn't own a toothbrush. He just chewed gum and figured that was good enough. Some of the worst breath I've ever encountered."
Can't Live Without Them
"Tools, and a willingness to learn how to use them. Long term, there is practically no better investment."
"The first rule of home repair and improvement : The one tool you do not yet own is the tool the next project will require."
"A decent set of kitchen knives. Everyone, regardless of their gender should know how to cook."
"Chef’s knife, pairing knife, kitchen shears and a bread knife. Maybe a cleaver, that’s 95% of stabby/slicey/choppy kitchen related tasks."
These suggestions would help improve men's image.
Manner Of Dress
"A suit is well and good, but a freshly ironed buttoned shirt and chinos with a belt will work too. A watch is also of benefit."
"As much as people say looks don't matter, it's a lie. The first thing you can possibly be judeged on is your appearance, second is how you carry yourself. Take care of your appearance, stand up straight, look forward, shoulders squared, look people in the eyes, and speak clearly."
"You don't need to always be looking or acting professional, but the ability to when necessary is invaluable. It's a great way to make a good first impression, which can open a lot of doors for you."
"You don't even need to be in good shape to do so. My brother is a heftier gent, and even still he has the ability to look very professional and carry himself in a way that draws both attention and respect."
"A good quality wallet. No velcro, football badge/camo effect effort. A nice wallet made of good quality material neatly containing all your important cards etc."
"Ladies spot these things."
A handkerchief is something I like to carry when most guys don't.
They can easily go in men's pockets, and are not at all cumbersome to have on his person.
What's it good for?
To wipe off a moistened forehead, preventing runny noses, and wiping off armpit sweat before it appears on the expensive shirt he's wearing during a job interview.
The whole point is to never let them see you sweat–whether it's for a business meeting, giving presentations, or a first date.
Men can at least look classy on the outside under potentially intimidating scenarios with a hankie.
The Best Ways To Tell If Someone's In An Open Relationship Or Actually Cheating On Their Partner
Views of commitment and monogamy in romantic relationships continue to evolve.
More and more couples have decided to open their relationships, seeing other people while still remaining committed to one another.
Dating someone who's in an open relationship can take some getting used to, however, as the feeling of knowing your new romantic interest is going home to their spouse or partner following your date is strange, to say the least.
Then too, can you ever be certain that they are in fact in an "open relationship," and not just cheating on their partner?
"How do you know when someone is really in an open relationship, and not a cheater pretending to be in one?"
When In Doubt, Don't...
"If you're feeling off about it, don't do it."- Massive-Ad7628Bad Feeling I Anticipate Problems GIF by America's Got TalentGiphy
Confirmation Needed From Both
"When the partner openly knows and acknowledges it."- EngineeringVirgin
"I was seeing a man who was married."
"He assured me that their relationship was open, that he had full permission to do whatever, and that if it would make me comfortable he would give me his wife’s number and she and I could chat."
"We saw each other for about four years."
"I went to pick him up at his house a couple times and his wife would say 'have a nice date!'."
"That’s the way to do it."
"Everything on the table."
"If there’s some sneakiness, something that makes you feel it’s not quite right, you need to listen to that feeling."- theyarnllama
"Ask to meet their partner."
"If they’re really open, it shouldn’t be a problem."- bloomautomaticThrees Company Reaction GIF by moodmanGiphy
An Oldie But A Goodie...
"Ask them to pinky swear."- Still_kinda_hungry
Give Your Intentions A Second Thought As Well
"Ok so I’m in an open relationship with my partner and he hooked up with this girl, and we called her to go get a drink with us and she was like 'I knew he had a girlfriend, but I didn’t know you knew'.”
"After that I def didn’t want to hang out with her because she thought she was facilitating him cheating on me."
"Intentions matter."- Physical_Witness_922
Ask And Answer
"In my experience, ask literally anything about what type of poly or open they are."
"Also anyone who isn't willing to get/show a recent std test isn't worth the risk."- Midori8751just ask leslie jones GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
"My SO and I just make videos explaining the situation and ground rules."
"That way, our potential partner know what they are dealing with."- TagtheCat
Doesn't Hurt To Check...
"I slept with a woman who was in an open marriage."
"Her husband called to check on her and ask if she was ok."
"She said she was fine and that was the extent of the call. I think that’s a pretty good indicator."- Fit-Concern-81
It's All About The Reaction
"When they introduce you to their SO as their lover and the SO is fine with it."
"Open relationships rarely sneak around on each other."- welltriedsoul·
“'So like…. You know your husbands screwing Ashley right….??'”
“'Yeah I know'.”- AkKik-Maujaq
It Must Be A Mutual Decision
"In my experience, one of my ex's said we were in an open relationship, however I didn't know that."
"So yeah, that's a cheater."
"I briefly dated someone that was in an open relationship (the couple were long distance)."
"I spoke on the phone with the girlfriend before any sex happened so we could all be on the same page regarding boundaries and intentions, what protection will be used, testing, etc."
"It really wasn't awkward, and I appreciated knowing that everyone was aligned."- korova_chewCartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphy
If They Say No, That's A Problem
"Ask them if you can talk to their partner."- vivi2626
Don't Ask, Don't Tell... Don't Date!
"I've been poly for closing in on 2 decades."
"I used to run a large poly meetup in a huge metro area."
"I've seen it all, personally talked to several thousand+ poly folks over the years, etc."
"I REFUSE to engage with anyone in a DADT policy at all at this point."
"HARD F*CKING PASS, the vast majority of the time its cheating."
"And when its not I swear 95% of the time is because the couple with the DADT policy hasn't done any work around opening up their relationship and there are a LOT of problems involved."
"And I want nothing to do with that huge nightmare of a cluster f*ck anymore."
"Here's my perspective and where it comes from."
"The amount of cheating I've seen is beyond staggering."
"A huge percentage of the women I know have run into TONS of men that are cheating and try to use poly, dadt, etc as a guise to do it."
"I have zero reason to put that much trust in someone I just met. It's the same reason I ask for proof of STI testing."
"I can't understand people with the attitude of 'if you can't trust them why are you with them' the whole point is you don't know them that well why would you trust them?"
"This is one step in establishing some trust."
"The ethical part of ENM is a big big deal to me, and I refuse to be complicit in cheating and be put in an unethical situation."
"If cheating was rare it would be a different situation, but f**k it's common."
"I've verified 100% of my partners are in ethical situations, and none of them had a problem with it."
"I've had a number of their partners thank me for actually checking."
"I'll accept a few options for verification, a phone call, voice chat, a brief text exchange while my date is present, a prerecorded voice / video message, or showing me snippets of a conversation where being poly is discussed / confirmed and there is a long-standing chat history with said person."
"Most of the time I had already met or seen their partner, so I already knew it was ethical."- f*cklifehardSchitts Creek No GIF by CBCGiphy
Many couples have said that their communication and commitment has greatly improved after opening their relationships.
When one half of a couple seeing other people causes pain and unhappiness, however, it seems clear that that relationship is not open in a healthy way.
Particularly if only one person is truly benefitting from it.
Rumors can be dangerous, especially when they are about scientific facts.
Sometimes, rumors are told and retold so many times that we actually start to believe the rumors rather than the actual fact.
These rumors turn into commonly held beliefs.
When I was little, I used to believe bumblebees were superheroes because they're wings were so small, physics said that they couldn't actually fly. I found out later than I would've liked that that's not true.
Redditors know a lot of commonly held beliefs that have actually been disproven by science and they are eager to share.
It all started when Redditor Redt_Wolf16 asked:
"What is a popular belief that is scientifically proven wrong?"
"Hiding under a highway overpass is actually not a good way to survive a tornado."
"It has been scientifically proven that the wind gets concentrated and the speeds increase underneath the overpass."
"If you aren’t shielded by a bridge girder or something similar you’ll just get swept away and mulched."
"Your best bet for survival if you cannot escape the tornado is to find the nearest deep ditch or hole."
"That's just a rumor that was started by a tornado"
He Sees You
"Goldfish have a three second memory."
"They don’t and, supposedly, you can even train them to do tricks."
"They can even recognize human faces."
"So…you’re telling me Pumpkin the goldfish recognized me? He was my first pet and I loved him so much"
"Recognised? Pumpkin loved you."
"Cracking knuckles = arthritis"
"There was a guy who only cracked the knuckles on his right hand his whole life to test this. He had no real difference between his hands arthritis-wise."
Boil A Frog
"A frog thrown in a pot of boiling water will jump out immediately. If a frog is put in a pot of cool water and that water is slowly warmed, the frog won’t notice and boil to death."
"This is indeed false"
"I love this one, we slowly boiled the water and the frog didn't jump out!after we removed most of its brain"
"Also if you throw a frog into boiling water it's not going to jump out, it's going to f*cking die."
"That rice will make the birds who eat it explode. Birds eat rice all the time! It's actually good for them, especially brown rice."
"I believe this myth was made up so people would stop throwing rice at weddings, but harming the birds wasn't an actual risk. It was getting rice grains stuck in your ear that was."
"The church my family went to had a sign on the door about not throwing rice at weddings, because the birds would eat it and "would get harmed". I think they just got tired of trying to get the rice out of the carpeting."
What About The Other 90%?
"We only use 10% of our brain"
"I'm pretty sure I know a few people for whom this is true."
"...and others, that is a very generous overestimation."
"Lightning never strikes in one place twice."
"Right? The Empire State Building gets hit about a few dozen times per year."
"Friends" Lied To Me!
"Despite popular belief, urine is not sterile."
"As a corollary: do not pee on jellyfish stings."
Both Can Be True
"“Fish don’t feel pain” , and simultaneously “Fish do feel pain” are both arguments which ignore centuries of research."
"They lack a Neocortex which deems them unable to “process” pain, however they have several nociceptors located around the mouth which allows them to “feel it”. What does this mean? Well nobody actually knows yet, and it is largely open to interpretation. It’s unfathomably hard for us to understand, as we can both feel and process pain. Some scientists describe “acting on instinct” as symptoms of pain when these nociceptors become compromised. Some scientists describe it as just that though, acting on instinct based on what parts of their body are compromised and hence weaker or vulnerable."
"For example : You hook and release a bass. That Bass now moves slower, eats a little less, and socializes less. Are these actions the result of the fish acknowledging the compromised nociceptors and acting accordingly while giving itself a chance to heal? Or is the fish genuinely hurting and sad? Research points to both being correct, but neither have enough evidence to prove anything yet."
"All we know with certainty is that we don’t have a definite answer supporting either argument, so anyone that leans hard one way or another doesn’t know what they are talking about."
"Don't know if it's been said yet still scrolling, but that male lions don't hunt or do anything. Yes, lionesses do most of the hunting but males do help if the prey is too big and strong, such as with cape buffalo or giraffe. Males do a lot, staying back and protecting the territory which is very important if there are cubs, not to mention that the mane not only blows their cover more when hunting, but it tires them out quickly as it's a bunch of hair weighing on their head. Males also have to leave their birth pride at a certain age which of course until they can find a pride, they at that point have to hunt."
"Also on the topic of African animals (wildlife nerd) hyenas hunt more than lions and are more successful predators, and hyenas aren't dogs. Elephants don't think you or any human is cute."
"Edit: I was told wrong a lion's mane doesn't weigh as much as I thought, but it does have more of a negative effect on their hunting compared to a lioness."
"The one about earlobes (free, or attached) being inherited from your mom and dad were taught to us in 8th grade. We were supposed to go home and examine our parents. Mine are free, both my parents are attached and I'm not adopted. My science teacher sadly informed me that I MUST be adopted and that's that."
"I have an identical twin and he has one attached lobe and another that is free. Both of mine are attached."
"I’m sad to inform you that either you or your identical twin MUST have been adopted and that’s that."
"That blood is blue until it comes into contact with air"
"Wow thanks, this is the first one I read that I didn't know. My old science teacher was amazing and she taught us it was blue, so I really doubted you until I looked it up. In her defense, she was a physics/maths fanatic and openly admitted biology just wasn't her thing. But still, I presume it must have been in our textbook. Madness!"
"The belief that sugar causes hyperactivity in children.This belief has been around for decades, but numerous scientific studies have shown that there is no evidence to support it."
"One of my all time favorite scientific studies looked into this in the 90s. The researchers setup a randomized controlled study of boys (n = 35; 5-7 yo) who had been reported as sugar sensitive by their mothers. In the experimental group, the researchers told mothers the boys received a high dose of sugar. In the control group, researchers told mothers they received a sugar-less placebo. Mothers in the experimental group reported higher levels of hyperactivity than mothers in the control group. Well, it turns out the researchers fed both groups the same sugar-less placebo. The only thing measured here was the mother's belief that sugar causes hyperactivity."
I used to believe that, actually. Glad to know the truth!
CW: Death, assault, and accidentals.
Katy B. She was my classmate.
She died tragically in a car accident.
Her car hit an oil slick and flew into the air, passing mid-sky over a median and landed on another car.
Katy was beautiful.
Katy was cool.
Katy was popular.
And best of all, she was kind to the unpopular.
She died shortly after graduation.
I hate that.
Life... at its worst.
Redditor leilavanora wanted to hear about the people who left this world too soon, so they asked:
"How did the kid from your school die?"
So many people gone before their time!
GruesomeEpisode One Armchair GIF by PBSGiphy
"Fell off a jet ski and then got hit by it when the driver turned around. Drowned."
"Jet skis are insanely dangerous. If you read up on jet ski deaths they are awful much more gruesome too."
"There was a boy from a family of alcoholics, whose parents divorced, he lived with a mom who was a very heavy drinker and a stepdad. Stepdad had a son who spent quite some time in mental facilities and rehab because he f**ked up his brain with drug use. The son eventually came home to live with his father and my classmate. One time the classmate accidentally saw his stepbrother sniffing glue from a bag."
"Stepbrother got mad, poured kerosene on him, and lit him up. When his mother saw her child was burning she jumped out the window and ran away while his younger siblings were trying to put out the fire. Unfortunately, once they managed to he was already dead."
"End-stage renal disease. She was doing good for a couple of years and waiting for a transplant while getting regular dialysis but ended up passing away in 11th grade."
"That's sad. Plug for Organ donation awareness: April is National Donate Life month. Every day, 17 people die in the US waiting for an organ transplant. If you aren't an organ donor already, sign up at https://www.organdonor.gov/sign-up"
It was devastating
"He froze to death in his sleep after passing out in the snow. It was a school trip with his class and they had some beers but probably some of the first few times they tried alcohol. It was devastating. They were moving from one house to another and he had said he needed a break in between but everyone forgot or just thought he was in another house."
"It sounds like an obvious mistake but it's not necessarily that cold even if it's snow, especially after a drink. To lie down and chill on a snow pile with a good jacket is no problem but if you pass out and forget well damn."
WTFShock What GIF by Paramount+Giphy
"In middle school, my neighbor accidentally shot and killed his best friend while hunting. Years later he was beheaded by the Taliban along with two English men. Unbearably sad."
Guns and hunting. That is just constant danger.
No ViolenceNo Way Do Not Want GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy
"Wrestling team bully with anger management issues punched an elderly man in a road rage incident and the elderly man shot him dead and was acquitted as it was deemed self-defense."
"He was playing football and randomly passed out. Never woke up again."
"Happened on the soccer pitch next to ours when I was playing 5-a-side with my work buddies. The kid who looked late teens fell down hard and didn't come back up again. They tried CPR and the defibrillator from the office before the paramedics showed up."
"We just stood there speechless watching it go down. And while it looked super bad, they took him away on a stretcher still working on him so I didn't actually find out he died until a week later when we were back for our usual slot and they held a silence."
"Never even found out the kid's name but I still think about it sometimes. Life can so be fragile."
"An electrician screwed up rewiring her family’s house so a live wire was touching a metal pipe connected to the bath. Her mum was wearing rubber work boots when she filled the bath so wasn’t electrocuted but she must have accidentally brushed against the tap or gone to add some more water while submerged and was killed instantly. We lived in a very small town where everyone knew each other so it really rocked our community. She was in the grade above me so would have been around 10-11."
Be SafeDriving Time Lapse GIF by YevbelGiphy
"Like 5 of them died of drunk driving accidents, three of them at one time, Little redneck school in the middle of nowhere apparently people seem to think drinking and driving is the only way to have fun."
Life is fleeting and fragile.
Appreciate every second, kids.