Parents Who Have Lost A Child Explain How It Truly Affected Them
"Parents of kids that have died: How did it affect you?" –– This was today's burning question from Redditor 3storation and it's a tough one.
Few things can change the course of someone's life like losing a child. Those who've experienced the loss and weathered the pain have likened it to the worst pain that can possibly be dealt.
"It changes you forever..."
It changes you forever. There's no going back. Things eventually get better and you find a different level of happiness but there's always that empty space in your heart. I used to be very happy go lucky and lived life day by day. Now I feel like I have to be over prepared for the future just in case.
"It's having a future..."
It destroys you. It's having a future you envisioned for yourself shattered. No two ways about it. Unless you have a great relationship with your partner it can tear you apart. It takes months/years to get back to a good place mentally and even then you're forever changed by it. If you can then you gain an understanding of the world you hope others never need but you're much more compassionate than you ever were.
"It took almost 10 years..."
I pretty much gave up on life. Ate like sh!t, didn't exercise at all. Would go months without brushing my teeth. I'd eat out of the same bowl for days without washing it. Ended up with digestive issues so bad that I was chugging pepto like it was water.
Isolated myself so I lost most of my friends. Couldn't focus at work, so bounced from job to job.
It took almost 10 years, but I eventually came out of that dark place. The pain is still there, but I actually live now, and not just survive.
There are not really any sufficient words to describe it. I had watched my aunt and uncle go through the loss of their son before my daughter died but even being that close to that never could have prepared me for the gut wrenching horror of my own child dying suddenly.
She died at age 2, she would be 15 now.
At first I felt numb, it was terrifying in every way. I felt out of my own self, I know I screamed and cried a lot but I also just existed without feeling anything at times. Sheer exhaustion I think and I had another child to take care of, a 3 month old. At times even know when I think of what happened or am reminded of it somehow it feels surreal like surely that couldn't have actually happened...like it was a horror story I read or watched and not a thing I actually had to go through.
I suppose that is my brain trying to get some relief from the pain for awhile.
In some ways it made me more afraid, scared of losing another child or loved one.
But in other ways I felt like, well I already went through hell life, what else ya got!? Kind of angry and like f*** it I don't give a sh!t what happens to me now.
I do not feel I really begin to even deal with her death until a few years ago because I had a newborn like I said, then I ended up having another baby too kind of close together. My life became a whirlwind of just taking care of them. I focused on them so much and my health slowly declined worse and worse over the years.
I feel like I am just now beginning to try to figure out how to really live again for myself. Everything has been about raising my kids. I'm rather exhausted, depressed, have anxiety, and PTSD from it.
There is no going back, there is no being normal, there is only learning to live with what happened and doing my best to be present for my family, and now figuring out how to actually be a healthy human again because as I am getting older it is getting harder to maintain an acceptable level of health (physically and mentally) without a lot of effort.Did I mention I'm tired? Grief it seems, makes one very tired.
And I can be seemingly fine for a long time, and sometimes her birthday or anniversary of her death passes and I'm fine. Some years it hits me like a freight train and I am down for a good long while. This month is the anniversary of her death and I am a big mess this time. Last year it hit me rather hard as well, where as the year before that it did not. Grief is and odd and unpredictable beast.
I still have some fun good times, I can still feel happy. But it is actually getting harder lately as my children get older. I have more time to feel these things lately. When they were little it was always something and the busyness of raising little kids was a distraction from what I was feeling.
And I feel sad for my kids too, that they never got to know their big sister. many a time when my other daughter was little and I saw two little sisters together I would break down ... my heart breaking that my daughter didn't get to have her sister with her.
I do often feel like I am more grateful for my kids, like even during really hard times I am just glad they are just HERE with me.
It did help me better understand people who were suffering loss, to be more empathetic to them.
But at the same time it caused me to be more impatient with people who seem to think life is like this magical fairy ride of happiness and joy. People like that tend to tick me off now where as before they did not. I try to realize they just don't know what this type of pain does to a person and that's ok, the world needs those types too and I wouldn't wish this on anyone. But it isn't something I like to be around anymore. I feel alienated from many people because of my sadness. Like I just do not fit in anymore.
And I hate how people change how they look at me or talk to me when they find out one of my children died. I really hate that. And I hate people asking me how she died. Like yeah....why not ask what she was like instead?! She was a wonderful little person and I rather talk about how wonderful her little life was than the horrible day we lost her.
And one I guess I could call this a positive, I don't break my back working on certain things in life anymore, so many things I now see as a waste of time because life is so freaking short and I shouldn't get so hung up on these details.
"Part of this..."
Lost my best friend to suicide a year ago. Still keep in touch with his dad. "My dreams are shattered" is his go-to refrain about his life following the death of his only child. He seems to just be going through the motions of life now. He just doesn't seem to feel any kind of purpose or drive anymore. It is deeply depressing to witness, and there's really nothing anyone can do about it.
He embraces the idea of stoicism - i.e., don't let things outside of your control bother you - but you can't really live that philosophy 100% of the time. We're all human and have emotions. So as much as he tries to cope he has a difficult go of it.
He feels very guilty. Part of this is because my friend shot himself with the gun his dad bought him. But another piece is just his belief that, more or less, the buck stops with him when it comes to his sons death. He feels like as a dad, if you lose your kid, you must have done something wrong along the way or not parented as ideally as possible. I have tried talking him out of this but I can't get through. After a suicide everyone feels guilty that they hadn't done more (myself included), but it appears that he has an especially bad case of this.
Over a decade now. Through hell and worse. I am more empathetic, quicker to admit I may not understand fully why people are the way they act (could be a bad day, sick loved one, dead loved one) - who knows sometimes. I am more forgiving,
I understand the importance of living with kindness towards others and more importantly myself. I am mostly happy most days. To the comment posted above, there is always a gap in my heart and soul and I continually strive to mend everyday. It will never be the same, but no day is.
It ruins your entire life. The future you saw that you tried to prepare for is no more. Everything that once brought you joy brings nothing but pain and misery. I lost my daughter when she was 3 months (she was born at 26 weeks weighing 1lb) she was a twin and she was my first born. My everything. I knew her before she was born and when we finally met it was like we were one. I could just feel her energy and man was this girl full of love. She smiled so much for a baby. She was such a fighter and to see that fight slowly die in such a little.being destroys you.
To lose a child makes you feel so worthless and hopeless. Yes I have her sister and they are identical but they are not the same person and I love my other daughter so much so that her and her brother are the only reason that I am still alive. Had i lost both of my girls I probably would have killed myself. But having other children to love and take care of keeps me going. There are days though where I feel like ending it all, that I feel like I am ruining my childrens lives because I haven't healed and I haven't stopped blaming myself for my daughters death. But then I see my daughters face and she just smiles at me or my son starts laughing and I know I will be enough for them.
But losing a child kills apart of you. I am praying for every person that has commented. I know your pain and you are not alone. To op if you are a parent and you need someone to talk to please reach out to people, it is ok to need someone. If you are a child wondering if your parents will be ok without you, no they won't so please reach out and talk to someone. If you are just a friend or family member of someone trying to figure out how to help them in their difficult time then ask them because everyone person is different.
"You have to make adjustments..."
Kind of like getting an arm amputated in mid-life. You have to make adjustments going forward with things that you do. And you're reminded that something is missing. You get better with time, and can be happy. But you fall into wonder sometimes, what could they have become.
"I don't know why that one thing..."
Initially there were parts that really killed me. Like after being told he had passed my mind was flooded with visions of a future with him and then seeing that future violently torn away. My son died a few days after being born and would be 13 this year. I remember just being distraught and repeating, "I'll never teach him how to tie his shoes." I don't know why that one thing stuck out but that's what I saw... A future where I'd never be able to teach him how to tie his shoes. In the grand scope of everything that's the one detail that just broke me. The relationship with his mother ended because I was too dumb to be there for her and realize she needed me. I just retreated for awhile.
"My first wife and I..."
Some of the details are...less than pleasant. I just want to give fair warning. My first wife and I were pregnant, and it was a surprise; we weren't married yet, had some adjusting to do, but we managed. We were young, certainly not prepared, but who really ever is, I suppose?
We were about 4 months along, so out of that first trimester danger zone, we thought. As things had gone along, we had started to plan, started thinking of names for a boy, names for a girl, telling our parents and siblings. Generally getting excited, right? This was a big first for both of us, after all, a big first for both our extended families, planned or not, and everyone was on board and supportive.
Then she calls me one night while I'm working graveyard shift across town. She's bleeding, she's in the hospital, and I need to be there 5 minutes ago. I run out of work and get there as fast as my beat-up old Explorer can possibly go. She's in a room, hooked up, IV in, some med student resident occasionally stopping in and saying virtually nothing. I already know at this point. The world I'd imagined, the life ahead of me, it was all gone. Christ, I'd gone back to college to try and do right for this baby that was never going to be. I'd shaped up, started working an extra job on the weekends, read all the baby books, quit smoking, quit drinking, we had both done everything right, damn it, why? I knew, though. It wasn't going to be. She didn't, though. Despite our differences in the years after, bless her for that; she still hoped.
So I pretended to hope, too. I tried to hope. For another hour and a half, I tried to hope so she wouldn't lose that much, on top of everything I knew we already had, if only for a bit longer. Until finally it wasn't the resident who came in. It was our OB. And then she knew too, as he explained that sometimes these things just happen. Sometimes you do everything right and these things still just happen. He left, and I cried for the first time since I was a little kid. I sobbed, and we both cried together until we had no choice but to leave and try to keep living after the world fell down around us. And we thought that was the worst of it.
Because she hadn't been that far along, apparently the thing to do is to "let nature run its course," and clear her body out on its own. And that seemed like a heavy period for a few days as we both sank into a gray depression, which was not a combination that made her feel any better at all. Until suddenly it clearly was not just a heavy flow. I was on the bed for what was probably the 20th consecutive hour when I heard her collapse in the bathroom and start sobbing, the kind of sound that only comes when a part of your soul has gone and won't be back.
I won't try to put in words what I saw, only that for a brief moment we both had to see what should have been our first child. It was terrible. I thought I had hurt up to that point, but that moment tore a piece out of me that will not grow back, not if I had a hundred lifetimes to let it.
Now, years later, we've moved on with our lives separately, and I have a baby daughter more beautiful than I could ever have imagined someone could be. And I love her more than I ever would have believed it possible to love someone, and my life is whole and great. But there is still a part of me that is gone and will never be there again.
"It hurts forever."
Never the same. Nothing is the same. You have a black hole where all the love and affection just disappeared into. What's left is a sadness that no matter what will never go away; a regret and a sort of I wish. It hurts forever.
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People Break Down The Stupidest Scams They're Surprised Folks Still Fall For
We want to believe the world is a good place, and it can be. However, there are still those who seek to deceive us.
They prey on the innocent and naïve and run scams that take advantage of us and our assets.
Some of these scams are as old as time itself, and most people have wised up. They can recognize the tricks and protect themselves. However, every now and then, someone still falls for one of those stupid scams.
Redditors identified some of these scams and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor MrTenBelow-1 asked:
"what's a scam so stupid yet people keep falling for?"
Gift Card For Bills
"People who fall for phone scammers telling them they can pay an overdue utility bill in Apple gift cards. WTF?"
"My client got taken for 40k in gift cards and a bit coin machine scam over the course of 2.5 days. The bank held her and begged her not to leave because they thought she was in danger but the scammer told her to tell them she has a right to her money and they gave up. They never called her husband which would have helped. The second Kroger refused to sell her the gift cards and told her they would call the cops and called her credit card company to tell them to close the card. Kroger was the hero in this situation. It helped snap her out of it but most of the money was gone."
"Talk to your older relatives. This is so common."
Bail Them Out
"As a teller manager, I have had a few elderly people who actually believe their grandkids are in jail, and need to take out 20k out of their accounts in cash, in order to bail them out."
"Literally tell them they are falling for a scam, and to call their grandkids in front of me. Of course the kid then answers."
"Their hearts are in the right place, but they need to think before they take large amounts like that, but also if they gave the scammers their personal addresses."
"Thank you for looking out for them! My grandma’s attempt to bail me out of jail with target gift cards was foiled by a kind bank teller like you. My grandma doesn’t have a cell phone so she called the police and me from the bank to make sure everything got sorted."
Money, Money, Money
"Any get rich quick subscription program. The actual get rich scheme is launching a subscription program for a get rich scheme."
"Subscribe to my courses to learn how to get rich quick. I'm only offering this because I don't want to use my tricks to get rich quick and want to share it with you instead."
Love = Money
"Sending ppl on dating apps money"
"While I've never been scammed, they've made attempts on me while I was on dating apps. It's easy to spot when they're attempting to scam you, like using some Instagram model's photos on their profile, or they try to get you to move to another app like skype or WhatsApp. But some guys don't think with the head on their shoulders and lose hundreds to probably a guy in Nigeria."
The Future Is No Mystery
"Or, any psychic really. Storytime: in NYC a few years ago, I walked by one of those storefront psychics as the proprietor yelled out to her husband, “But I can’t find my keys!” Not great advertising."
"My coworker who was widowed three years ago met a man online and has been speaking with him for over a year. He says he has an apartment in an upscale neighborhood of the nearby city. They haven't met in person yet because he is building a bridge in Dubai. He was going to come home for Christmas but the flights were very expensive."
"I am 95% sure this is a romance scam."
"He’s building a bridge in Dubai😂😂😂😂😂"
Don't Have Wheels
"I'm calling about your cars extended warranty..."
"Man I was getting those calls before I even owned a car"
"Okay, I'm not proud of this, but I nearly got screwed by an extended warranty call."
"I had just bought a used electric car out of state. And even though I've never done this before I bought an extended warranty from the used car dealership because it covered the batteries."
"While I was waiting for delivery I got a letter from what I thought was the warranty company. I was getting a lot of paperwork so it didn't look out of place. It said to give them a call so I could finalize the warranty information."
"I called the number and they asked questions like mileage, trim package, etc. And after all that they said because of a change in their policy I could save $50.00 a month if I made the first payment before close of business Friday."
"The only reason they didn't get my credit card number is because I asked them why I needed to make monthly payments for something I paid in full on my loan. That's when the discussion started sounding fishy (phishy) after a few more attempts to convince me to pay I just hung up on them, and called the dealership."
"What's crazy is that the company is a legitimate extended warranty company. They just have shady business practices."
Sell, Sell, Buy!
"Pyramid schemes. For the life of me I can’t fathom how people think they’ll get rich selling stupid sh*t like oils or wax"
"A family friend sells one of the kitchen things as an MLM and is always boasting about going on cruises and stuff... Of course she leaves out the part where she has to park on her driveway because her garage is literally floor to ceiling, wall to wall with boxes of unopened merch. She isn't getting rewarded for her sales, she's getting rewarded for her purchases."
"She cooked some kind of dip for us in a microwave to show off a product. It tasted like I imagine a dead cow's milky an*s tastes."
Heal The Virus
"“Hello, this is John White. I am calling from Windows Technical Support. We have received notification that there are many errors on your computer, and that it may have a virus.”"
"My friends mother kept a guy like this on the phone for 20minutes, did everything he told her and was so greatful the nice Windows man was trying to fix her computer. Then eventually asked him "Oh, was my computer meant to be switched on?""
Please Hang Up!
"My MIL almost fell for this."
"My wife got a call from her father about something completely unrelated and as they're talking, he says that her mom is on the phone with Microsoft. I overhear this. I've listened to my IT friends talk about how getting MS on the phone is a huge pain in the a*s, so I'm immediately wondering what is going on.""My wife prods a little and finds out that they called her. Immediately, I'm saying over and over again "Tell her to hang up. Hang up HANG UP""
"Her MIL is...well, she's an older Jewish lady who is allergic to silence. FIL is a very typical older Jewish man..."
"FIL tells her "The kids are saying you should hang up, they say it's a scam.""
"MIL says on the phone to the "representative": "My kids are telling me this is a scam, are you trying to scam me?""
"The fake rep says "Of course not, you know me, why would I do that""
"MIL: "He says it's not a scam.""
"FIL: "She says it's not a scam.""
"My wife: It scam."
"Me: HANG UP HANG UP HANG UP"
"FIL to MIL: They're tellin me you should hang up."
"MIL to FIL: Do you know where the checkbook is?""
"Wife: OMG TAKE THE PHONE FROM HER AND HANG IT UP"
"Me: Why is she not HANGING UP?"
"FIL to my wife: I think I might have to call you back, your mother can't find the checkbook"
"Wife, now screaming: SHE IS BEING SCAMMED"
"MIL, to the rep: Hold on, I think I need to talk to my daughter, can I call you back?"
"Rep: Sure, but if we could process payment..."
"FIL: I think you better tell him to call back later"
"MIL: That's what I told him [to the rep] I need to call you back hun"
"Wife: I am begging you dad, take the phone from her"
"MIL to the rep: No, that's not a good time, we'll be eating dinner"
"Me: I'm driving over there."
"And that's what I did."
"She hadn't given him any payment information thankfully, but she had scheduled a call with him later. I blocked the number and told her not to answer any other unknown numbers. I had to show her several articles proving this is a scam and she STILL said "Well ya nevah know, and I don't want any virus on my computer""
The Truth About Social
"Facebook is going to change its algorithm by you copying and pasting a post"
"Literally yesterday I saw one of those dumba** "I do not give FB permission to blah, blah, blah...""
"Yes, honey, you already did when you signed up and every time you accepted their new terms of service. Buried in the fine print you entirely gave them permission."
"Those “lose 15 pounds in 5 days” type diets in supermarket tabloids"
"Dude it works, I lost 20 pounds in 10 days. The diet is called a very aggressive stomach flu. You can’t keep anything down and you sh*t your brains out."
Steer clear of all of these!
Do you have any popular scams to add? Let us know in the comments below.
People Share The Exact Moment They Realized Their Relationship Was Over
Although romantic relationships are wonderful, they aren't all sunshine and rainbows. Relationships are hard. Every couple has issues.
Sometimes, you can work through these issues, but other times, they are relationship enders.
Redditors have identified the exact moment in which a relationship ended, and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor HM333XOXO asked:
“What made you realize the relationship was over?"
What's The Point?
"When the things they did didn’t make me mad anymore. I just didn’t care. At all. So it was easy to walk away."
"The opposit of love is not hate, but indifference"
"This is exactly what happened with the last long term relationship I was in before I met my wife. It took about an hour for me to go from thinking I was in love to realizing I didn't love her, I didn't hate her, I just didn't care so what was the point. The only break up I ever had where I felt nothing afterwards....no sorrow, no guilt, no relief, no freedom...just over"
"When my ex would state 10 seconds into every argument (which became more frequent) that "maybe we don't belong together.""
"I think it was her way of guilting me into ending the argument and switching to comforting/assuring her, but one time she said it and I was just like "well, maybe you're right""
"I knew right then that we were done, there was no walking that back, and I felt so much relief."
"Dude, I’m sorry, I had that too. I remember my ex would always say “if you think you deserve someone better, you can leave”. She had a lot of trauma in her childhood, and so I always tried to take it as a defense mechanism, so I would reassure her that I didn’t want to break up, but I want to talk about things that were bothering me (mainly that she wasn’t very affectionate and never expressed her feelings, so I always felt like we were just friends) and some other issues. Anyway, I finally broke up with her one time after she said it, and there was just no fight and that was it. It’s been almost a year and I still feel like the whole relationship was a brain f*ck lol."
"When I woke up three days post surgery — there had been a cancer scare and complications — I whispered to my husband. “Could you get me some ice chips?” Mind you, I had not been out of bed or eating/drinking, much less awake. He said, stone-faced, “get them yourself.” Not at that moment, but when I processed it later, I knew I could not grow old and be vulnerable with him. Years later, his excuse was that he had just been on the phone with his mother."
Misery Loves Company
"I won an all expenses paid trip for two to the Superbowl courtesy of Budweiser. Had a bunch of extras given, vip tickets to concerts happening the days leading to the Superbowl, a superbowl experience trip, was supposed to go golfing, vip tickets to the pre-show and game tickets in a section with unlimited free booze. Then husband was a total a**hole the entire time. Refused to do any of the included activities. Only wanted to find craft beer bars to hang out in."
"At one point got sh*t-faced and wondered around the hotel in a bathrobe yelling at random people while the head of the Budweiser distributor in my town is sitting down trying to recruit me for a job. The morning of the Superbowl he decides he doesn't want to go and wants to sell the tickets instead. So I sell the tickets and hand him $14k from the sale of the tickets. (Have an interesting story about who bought them). It was that moment I understood that this person was miserable and there was nothing in the world that could ever make them happy, and I needed to get the f*ck out."
Not Me Anymore
"When I realized I did not like the person I had become in the relationship."
"Same. I was terrified when I realised I slowly turn into his mother. Harsh, demanding, ordering him what to do, yelling if he didn't do something important after I asked and reminded 100 times etc. because when I'm being myself (nonchalant, calm, joking about stuff) he didn't lift a finger to do anything."
"Was making tea and spilled it on a counter? Unless I saw it and said "Go take a rag and wipe it" he wouldn't do it. Like, I legit tried not to tell him anything to find how long it'll take him no notice. Date plans? Only when I find a place and tell him we're going there, otherwise the only option was to hang out at his place, cook something together (if I find a recipe, write down a list of ingredients and we both go shopping) or watch a movie (if I decide what to watch)."
"Broke up because I know there are women who love this kind of dynamic, but it sure ain't me."
Disregard For Human Life
"When she told me to stop trying to control her for asking her to stop drinking and driving"
"She had a car accident a few hours later and almost died"
"I don't care if you're irresponsible with your own life but when you drink and drive you put others at risk and the fact a 24 year old had to be told not to do that was shocking"
"An excellent counselor told me, "Do you know what's worse than coming home to an empty house? Coming home to a house that's more empty because of the person waiting there.""
"When I found out he was already in a relationship with a different girl before he even met me, yet still approached me and started a relationship with me. And continued to date her. While dating me. The entire time we were together."
It's All About The Compatability
"When she started getting into astrology, started treating me completely different because of my star sign."
"When I realized I was the only one planning our future and he was just there riding along with whatever I came up with. It felt very lonely and exhausting. I wanted a life partner that could help lead the way and carry the load with me."
"This is a huge issue with relationships. He probably had much different ideas for the future he wanted. Telling you would probably end the relationship so he just played the delay game stretching out the time with you doing what he wanted as long as possible."
"Kind of why me and my ex broke up. She had the same exact issue with me that you had with your ex. Truth is she wasn’t interested in what I wanted in the future at all. Our passions are completely different and I will never give up who I am to please someone else. She’s an indoors, shopping, going out to eat, not active person. I love the outdoors, I love the ocean, I love snowboarding, skating, playing sports, fishing, camping, bonfires on the beach, camping out on the beach. She would come fishing with me occasionally and want to leave 30 minutes in because she was bored. Took me a while to realize that I was always doing things for her because I cared about her but she wouldn’t do those same things for me. She would call me a narcissist all the time. Projection? It sounds like I’m tooling on her but I still care a lot about her."
"The doctor says, “I think you have stomach cancer. I want to scope your stomach at 5:00 am.” I was terrified. I just went home and sat stunned on the couch with the dogs for hours until she got home from work."
"She gets home. I ask her to sit down. I tell her what the doctor said. I tell her that I’ll need her to take off work the next day because i won’t be able to drive afterwards and I need her to drive me."
"“But I don’t want to miss work,” she says."
"That’s the exact moment I knew our marriage was over."
"I hated hearing her car pull in the driveway when she got off work."
Ouch, that's hard!
We applaud these folks for taking their leave and hopefully finding someone who does meet their needs.
Do you have anything that was the proverbial final nail in the coffin? Let us know in the comments below.
Everyone wants to live healthily.
But "healthy" seems to have a lot of meanings.
Many of the things we deem healthy and healing are often messy and problematic.
So it's time to make some changes.
And really do the research.
Redditor cheerfulspinach wanted to discuss the truth about being cleansed... so they asked:
"What is something people think is a 'healthy option' but actually isn't?"
We all need to research more to define 'healthy.'"
Sneaky, sneaky...Hold On Waiting GIF by Nature ValleyGiphy
"Sugar sneaks it's way into all sorts of 'healthy' foods. Make sure to check the nutrition facts if you are watching for it. I'm looking at you, granola."
"Those stupid juicing detox programs... your body's liver and kidney's naturally detox your body so long as you drink plenty of water. This whole notion that you are detoxing your body with juice is a*inine."
"The financial director of the WORST place I've ever worked decided to go onto a juice detox. Each tiny bottle was like £5 (this is back in 2016) and his diet was literally 5 of those bottles a day."
"However during work he would get agitated and lacking energy so he'd 'top up' with haribo throughout the day to make sure he didn't collapse. Very freaking healthy."
75 pounds in a year...
"I had a friend in college who believed sub sandwiches were healthy. Like... not specific ones. The Subway health based commercials made her think that anything served in sub form was healthy. She was eating footlong white bread covered in cheese with double bacon and ham sandwiches with extra cheese, extra mayo, extra oil or ranch and whatever else she wanted on them or chicken bacon ranch subs with double cheese and double bacon. Devouring them 2-3 times a day to lose weight."
"She hadn't told anyone she was trying to lose weight but after she gained 75 pounds in a year, some of her friends started asking why she ate so many unhealthy sandwiches every day. Her mind was blown when we told her that sub sandwiches aren't magically healthy just because of the form factor."
"Smoothies from smoothie shops They use sorbets, ice creams, and juices with an insane amount of sugar in them. My sister worked at a smoothie shop, and people would always come in after going to the gym. It’s not what most people think it is."
"Depends on the smoothie but yes most of those mainstream chains are like that."
"'Low-fat' or 'fat-free' options. These products often have added sugars and other unhealthy additives to compensate for the lack of fat. In some cases, these options may actually be worse for you than the full-fat versions."
"And not to mention they STILL taste worse than the full fat versions. Lowfat yogurt is the bane of my existence."
Low does not mean no.
Smell the flowers...
"Vaginal washes on a daily basis so it smells like lavender instead of what vaginas are supposed to smell like. It's unnecessary and changes your pH down there and pre disposes you to infections."
Take a Brake
"I think a lot of Millennials and Gen Zers are beginning to catch on to how bad it can potentially be, but I think dedicating your life just to work is really unhealthy. I mean fair enough if you have a job you really enjoy, but even so if you dedicate almost every waking moment to your job there's a problem generally. Its not a great attitude, live to work."
Buying into the system...
"Toxic positivity. The people who tell you that you need to love yourself regardless of whatever debilitating disability or mental condition you have that makes doing so near impossible Or the people who, whenever you try to reach out, immediately try to downplay your problems (you don’t hate your body, society just MAKES you buy more products/your not depressed, society sucks)."
"People who try to take what you say about yourself and twist it beyond recognition into some pseudo-'woke‘ actually society is the problem’ bulls**t and passively blame you for not waking up farting rainbows because actually everything you’ve ever disliked about yourself was created by 3 white dudes 200 years ago therefore making any doubt you have just ‘buying into the system.'"
"Honestly, a lot of whether or not something is healthy or unhealthy (especially in the context of weight loss) depends on the specific person."
"For example, I have to avoid eating nuts as a snack because they're extremely calorie dense while not being at all filling to me and hence I can overeat them really easily without thinking about them without any benefits of affecting my hunger level."
"But for someone who doesn't have my issue with snacking foods, a handful of nuts as a snack would absolutely be a great part of a balanced diet."
"On a more general level though, muffins. Most muffins you can buy are basically cupcakes but people treat muffins like a diet food."
Be CalmRelaxing Chill Out GIF by Talk StoopGiphy
"Not getting angry. Holding in your negative emotions not only increases your cortisol stress levels, it also prevents you from opening up about the things that are holding you back."
"If you learn how to talk things out and express frustration before things boil over, you just might find that your relationships are more honest and fulfilling."
Being healthy is all a state of mind.
Anything you'd like to add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.
Sometimes everyone needs to hush up.
Wouldn't that be nice?
If people could catch onto social queues and actually engage in conversation with another human, maybe then we'd be able to triumph at the basic art of communication.
But humans seem to be failing in this department.
So who among us hasn't been trapped in a nonsensical splattering of words we'd give limbs to escape from?
Redditor Isingsongstomycats wanted to hear about what can completely make us regret speaking to another person, so they asked:
"What instantly ruins a conversation for you?"
I'm ornery. Anything and everything can turn me off.
Blockedhoney boo boo phone GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphy
"Getting their phone out for no reason mid conversation."
"Sometimes I want to look up something pertinent to the conversation but I don't want to interrupt them to say that. Now when someone checks their notification mid conversation, that really burns me."
Up & Up
"When someone feels the need to one up you on everything you say."
"Had a coworker like this once, his one upping was so bad we would test it. Best one was a guy talking about catching a shark on a pole at the beach. He interrupted with the time he swam out a mile and got attacked by a shark and beat it and swam back with it."
"When they start saying nasty things about people they barely know."
"I have family like this. I once heard them go on on this rant about how the new waitress at their local coffee shop is fat and ugly. They made a thousands assumptions about this woman that included criticism to her service."
"Or start sh*t talking someone the second they leave the room. My dad's sisters do that, I was stuck in my parents house alone with them and I would get so paranoid every time I left the room. If they do that to each other, I can’t image the crap they talk about me."
War of Words
"When they ask for your opinion or talking about something fully subjective and then tell you how you are objectively wrong or get offended by you nor agreeing."
"Similar, but not quite the same: my old roommate would correct me on things that were objective, and not like facts."
"Like I mentioned it was hard for my folks to get a mortgage because they were self employed and he correct me that it wasn't. He wouldn't believe the story i was telling and told me what he thought might have happened with no knowledge on the subject."
"Needless to say I moved out."
Blah BlahBored Chris Rock GIF by BounceGiphy
"When it feels like you're engaging a combination lock just to get responses to simple innocent pieces of a conversation. People who small talk you to death."
I swear small talk people should be arrested for attempted murder.
UselessGolden Girls Rose GIF by TV LandGiphy
"When someone drags a story out with useless details. Like something that happened on the drive to work but they start the story at the point when they first woke up and what they had for breakfast. Just get to the point!"
"When they interrupt me mid sentence."
"If it sometimes happens on accident whenever they think of something and get over-excited it’s whatevs. Now when they constantly step over you it’s like your opinion merely feels like filler at best and they ain’t even listening. Not even worth the energy to continue at that point."
"One of my coworkers only listens long enough to figure out what she's going to say next, and then she interrupts. I guess we're only there to feed her lines."
"When someone gives you completely useless advice you didn't ask for. A couple weeks ago I mentioned to a coworker that I was glad to be going home because I didn't get more than a couple hours of sleep."
"Dude first of all had the audacity to say 'Well, you need to do better.' When I said I have medication resistant insomnia he looks at me like I'm an idiot and asks if I've tried melatonin."
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are stupider than that. And it doesn’t take you very long to spot one of them, does it. Take you about eight seconds. You’ll be listening to some guy, and say, this guy is f**king stupid. Then, then there are some people, they’re not stupid. They’re full of crap."
"Huh, that doesn’t take very long to spot, either, does it. Take you about the same amount of time. You’ll be listening to some guy, saying, well, he’s fairly intelligent. Ah, he’s full of s**t. Then there are some people, they’re not stupid, they’re not full of s**t, they’re freaking nuts."
Gross...Disgusted Emma Stone GIFGiphy
"Sexualization. We're talking about a new video game and suddenly I get asked if I play naked, or if I'm turned on by a game mechanic or some such nonsense. Yuck."
Good conversation is hard to keep these days.
Do you have any conversational red flags to add? Let us know in the comments below.