Weddings are supposed to be about love and celebration, right? Yeah if you're chuckling right now it's clear that you're not a new reader.
Welcome to the madhouse, friends. We're gonna talk about some drama.
Reddit user Prudent_Passenger596 asked:
Has anyone ever witnessed an objection at a wedding? What's the juicy details?
If you think objections only happen in movies, you're about to have your world rocked.
Kick back, grab snacks, and let's talk about the drama in other people's lives as opposed to yours. It'll be a nice change of pace.
The Groom's Brother Saves The Day... and The Bride
Cry About It Anne Hathaway GIFGiphy"It was a train wreck."
"Bride was so much better than the abusive creep she was supposed to marry. She planned to leave him but she felt like she had to marry him because she got a positive pregnancy test."
"During the ceremony his own brother objected that he had tampered with her birth control to force her to stay with him."
"He came with receipts too. Text messages and voicemails bragging about how it worked, she was pregnant and how he was cheating on her, etc. Finally the dude's mom tried to stop him but he snapped at her that she was 'an enabling b*tch' and he wasn't going to let this go on."
"The bride said she wasn't going to marry him and us bridesmaids grabbed her and bolted."
"She ended up miscarrying shortly after that, so no co-parenting relationship needed to happen and he's completely stonewalled from all information on her." - PlanksGoneMad
Everyone Thought It Was Cute
Sad Kid GIF by 1tvGiphy"Nothing juicy. But I was the flower girl at my aunt's wedding. I was five at the time."
"I thought that when she got married, that she would leave and I would never see her again. She had told me that after the wedding she was going to California. I thought she wasn't coming back!"
"So I was bawling at the ceremony and screaming 'no no no I object I object!' "
"Everyone thought it was so cute." - 6xtine7
"I did the same thing at my cousins wedding when I was 6. I guess the fear of family leaving forever runs deep in kids" - Sammarpie
"Ahh, the pain of children. Something very enjoyable, I guess?" - Nothingisuphere1234
We Lasted Less Than 1 Year
wedding dress bride GIFGiphy"The first time I got married, I was 21 and my wife was 20. In our country she was not old enough to sign her wedding certificate, her mother had to sign for her."
"Also, she was very visibly pregnant and we both were stressed and had been crying."
"Each one of us had decided not to get married and then changed our minds in the months leading to the actual wedding. It was well known to us and everyone else that we were only doing it because of the pregnancy."
"So during the ceremony, one of her uncles said he objected, for all the reasons mentioned above."
"We actually stopped, and she got to another room and talked with her family for some 30 minutes."
"Then they came out and said we should go through with it, and we did. We lasted less than 1 year before the divorce." - Kriskao
Confession
alfred hitchcock GIF by Warner ArchiveGiphy"Objection by a priest."
"A friend of mine was getting married. She and her fiancé lived in England, but the wedding was in their home country 2,000 mi away. We have a tradition in their home country that the couple and their families go to confession the day before wedding."
"My friend's sister confessed to the priest that she was secretly dating her sister's fiancé for several months now. This was the same priest that was supposed to marry my friend with her fiancé the next day."
"The priest made her confession public and objected the wedding. 250 invited guests that came from many different countries left shocked."
"Happy end. My friend met a great person a few years later and they married at a small ceremony back in England."
"But the relationships with the sister are still not great." - apeIover
A Homophobic Beatdown
two men smoking cigarettes GIF by South Park Giphy"I had to go to a wedding with my mom. One of the brides was a good friend and coworker of my mom's. This was a lesbian wedding."
"The other bride (not my mom's coworker) had her dad object saying: 'I didn't raise my daughter to be a f-word!' "
"He got an absolute beatdown as his daughter cried. The first punch was directly in the stomach if I remember correctly. It was like something out of an action movie."
"1 dude held the jerk still while the other 3 absolutely beat him to the ground. The cops were called though, so the dude got less of a beating than he should've. It was classic southern justice."
"I don't understand why you would do this to your own daughter." - idiotic__gamer
The Ex
Drunk Happy Hour GIFGiphy"The bride's ex-boyfriend objected at a family wedding I went to just before the pandemic hit."
"Turns out the bride was pregnant with the ex's baby and the guy she was marrying thought it was his."
"That started a decent sized fight which I don't remember much of thanks to the open bar I went back to so I could enjoy the show. I heard one of my cousins got it on their phone, but don't know for sure." - Invisible_Northerner
Former Anti-Vaxxers Explain What Actually Made Them Change Their Mind | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Traditionally
Fiddler On The Roof Broadway GIF by GREAT PERFORMANCES | PBSGiphy"My uncle's wedding, in my country we do two wedding ceremonies: the traditional wedding ceremony where the woman introduces the fiancé to her family and then the finally religious wedding ceremony."
"So my uncle had a traditional wedding with his first wife, but they separated before they had the religious wedding and he moved on and got a second 'wife'."
"They had the traditional marriage and on their religious wedding ceremony, the first wife - whom he had been separated from for like 5 years - showed up in church and stopped their wedding on grounds that he had married her traditionally."
"The priest didn't give the go ahead to marry him and the second wife until he sorted issues with the first wife, but he was finally able to wed his second wife in church." - Peakcok
Everybody Marry Mommy!
Season 6 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Not very juicy, but very adorable."
"At a co-workers wedding, their 3 year old objected because he didn't want Daddy to marry Mommy, HE wanted to marry Mommy!" - cdgal38382
Super Awkward For Everyone
Awkward Dj Pauly D GIF by Jersey Shore Family VacationGiphy"I was at a wedding where the groom's father was the pastor. And the pastor objected to his son marrying a woman that already had children."
"Pretty much called her a wh*re and denounced the marriage. But after his rant/sermon he finished the wedding."
"Super awkward for everyone in attendance." - Maxthunder5
A Drunk Uncle
Wedding Singer Band GIF by Eclipse MusiciansGiphy"Former function band member here. We played weddings, the standard stuff."
"I didn't witness the actual objection as we were there for the reception. But word got around."
"Apparently a drunk uncle claimed he had been with the bride mere nights before - and she was a great shag. He thought it was hilarious."
"The couple ended up not actually getting married as they felt he had ruined the ceremony. I can't say I blamed them really."
"Hardly anybody was at the reception as nobody wanted to stay. They pretty much left a lot of expensive food on the table and an empty room."
"I have to say the chicken was simply delicious - and free as nobody was there to eat it! The bride and groom didn't show up either so I have no idea what their reaction was." - raceAround126
So what have we learned today, friend?? Let's just go ahead and take that "objections" bit out of the ceremony - and start acting right! Jeez.