Weddings are supposed to be about love and celebration, right? Yeah if you're chuckling right now it's clear that you're not a new reader.
Welcome to the madhouse, friends. We're gonna talk about some drama.
Reddit user Prudent_Passenger596 asked:
Has anyone ever witnessed an objection at a wedding? What's the juicy details?
If you think objections only happen in movies, you're about to have your world rocked.
Kick back, grab snacks, and let's talk about the drama in other people's lives as opposed to yours. It'll be a nice change of pace.
The Groom's Brother Saves The Day... and The Bride
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"It was a train wreck."
"Bride was so much better than the abusive creep she was supposed to marry. She planned to leave him but she felt like she had to marry him because she got a positive pregnancy test."
"During the ceremony his own brother objected that he had tampered with her birth control to force her to stay with him."
"He came with receipts too. Text messages and voicemails bragging about how it worked, she was pregnant and how he was cheating on her, etc. Finally the dude's mom tried to stop him but he snapped at her that she was 'an enabling b*tch' and he wasn't going to let this go on."
"The bride said she wasn't going to marry him and us bridesmaids grabbed her and bolted."
"She ended up miscarrying shortly after that, so no co-parenting relationship needed to happen and he's completely stonewalled from all information on her." - PlanksGoneMad
Everyone Thought It Was Cute
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"Nothing juicy. But I was the flower girl at my aunt's wedding. I was five at the time."
"I thought that when she got married, that she would leave and I would never see her again. She had told me that after the wedding she was going to California. I thought she wasn't coming back!"
"So I was bawling at the ceremony and screaming 'no no no I object I object!' "
"Everyone thought it was so cute." - 6xtine7
"I did the same thing at my cousins wedding when I was 6. I guess the fear of family leaving forever runs deep in kids" - Sammarpie
"Ahh, the pain of children. Something very enjoyable, I guess?" - Nothingisuphere1234
We Lasted Less Than 1 Year
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"The first time I got married, I was 21 and my wife was 20. In our country she was not old enough to sign her wedding certificate, her mother had to sign for her."
"Also, she was very visibly pregnant and we both were stressed and had been crying."
"Each one of us had decided not to get married and then changed our minds in the months leading to the actual wedding. It was well known to us and everyone else that we were only doing it because of the pregnancy."
"So during the ceremony, one of her uncles said he objected, for all the reasons mentioned above."
"We actually stopped, and she got to another room and talked with her family for some 30 minutes."
"Then they came out and said we should go through with it, and we did. We lasted less than 1 year before the divorce." - Kriskao
Confession
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"Objection by a priest."
"A friend of mine was getting married. She and her fiancé lived in England, but the wedding was in their home country 2,000 mi away. We have a tradition in their home country that the couple and their families go to confession the day before wedding."
"My friend's sister confessed to the priest that she was secretly dating her sister's fiancé for several months now. This was the same priest that was supposed to marry my friend with her fiancé the next day."
"The priest made her confession public and objected the wedding. 250 invited guests that came from many different countries left shocked."
"Happy end. My friend met a great person a few years later and they married at a small ceremony back in England."
"But the relationships with the sister are still not great." - apeIover
A Homophobic Beatdown
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"I had to go to a wedding with my mom. One of the brides was a good friend and coworker of my mom's. This was a lesbian wedding."
"The other bride (not my mom's coworker) had her dad object saying: 'I didn't raise my daughter to be a f-word!' "
"He got an absolute beatdown as his daughter cried. The first punch was directly in the stomach if I remember correctly. It was like something out of an action movie."
"1 dude held the jerk still while the other 3 absolutely beat him to the ground. The cops were called though, so the dude got less of a beating than he should've. It was classic southern justice."
"I don't understand why you would do this to your own daughter." - idiotic__gamer
The Ex
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"The bride's ex-boyfriend objected at a family wedding I went to just before the pandemic hit."
"Turns out the bride was pregnant with the ex's baby and the guy she was marrying thought it was his."
"That started a decent sized fight which I don't remember much of thanks to the open bar I went back to so I could enjoy the show. I heard one of my cousins got it on their phone, but don't know for sure." - Invisible_Northerner
Former Anti-Vaxxers Explain What Actually Made Them Change Their Mind | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Traditionally
Fiddler On The Roof Broadway GIF by GREAT PERFORMANCES | PBS
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"My uncle's wedding, in my country we do two wedding ceremonies: the traditional wedding ceremony where the woman introduces the fiancé to her family and then the finally religious wedding ceremony."
"So my uncle had a traditional wedding with his first wife, but they separated before they had the religious wedding and he moved on and got a second 'wife'."
"They had the traditional marriage and on their religious wedding ceremony, the first wife - whom he had been separated from for like 5 years - showed up in church and stopped their wedding on grounds that he had married her traditionally."
"The priest didn't give the go ahead to marry him and the second wife until he sorted issues with the first wife, but he was finally able to wed his second wife in church." - Peakcok
Everybody Marry Mommy!
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"Not very juicy, but very adorable."
"At a co-workers wedding, their 3 year old objected because he didn't want Daddy to marry Mommy, HE wanted to marry Mommy!" - cdgal38382
Super Awkward For Everyone
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"I was at a wedding where the groom's father was the pastor. And the pastor objected to his son marrying a woman that already had children."
"Pretty much called her a wh*re and denounced the marriage. But after his rant/sermon he finished the wedding."
"Super awkward for everyone in attendance." - Maxthunder5
A Drunk Uncle
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"Former function band member here. We played weddings, the standard stuff."
"I didn't witness the actual objection as we were there for the reception. But word got around."
"Apparently a drunk uncle claimed he had been with the bride mere nights before - and she was a great shag. He thought it was hilarious."
"The couple ended up not actually getting married as they felt he had ruined the ceremony. I can't say I blamed them really."
"Hardly anybody was at the reception as nobody wanted to stay. They pretty much left a lot of expensive food on the table and an empty room."
"I have to say the chicken was simply delicious - and free as nobody was there to eat it! The bride and groom didn't show up either so I have no idea what their reaction was." - raceAround126
So what have we learned today, friend?? Let's just go ahead and take that "objections" bit out of the ceremony - and start acting right! Jeez.
I once had a guy ask me if I was willing to follow him into the woods, depending on the price of the meal.
Yeah. No steak is worth that.
Plans After...
Wait What Wtf GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Thanks for the ride but I have a date with someone else, I figured you wouldn't drive me if you knew I was going on a date with someone else and I really needed a ride."
"Online dating, talked to her for a while, finally got the courage to ask her out and then she said that as we got there."
iareyours
Mirror Image
“'You look just like my wife!'”
catalinachild
"I did have a guy tell me I reminded him of his son. I don’t believe English has a word to adequately describe my feelings at that time."
UnicornMagicRainbow
"That would definitely do it."
chaotica78
Third Wheel
"'Hope you don't mind if my mother joins us.'"
ofsquire
"Actually had a girl do this on a first date because she had anxiety issues. Honestly wasn’t bad except that 90% of the time she was silent and her mom talked over her."
"I didn’t mind that much and wouldn’t have minded trying again when she was more comfortable except that she was let go at the company we worked at and she deleted her social media profiles and she never responded on her number. Ah well."
Seightx
Liar
Lying Simon Rex GIF by Simon Rex / Dirt NastyGiphy"'Hey bro aren't you gay? I made out with you last night.'"
"Random dude I've never seen before in front of my (f) date."
JHXC16
Was he lying though?
Filter Issues
"'You looked better on Tinder.'"
waqasnaseem07
"Isn’t it basic knowledge that everybody looks slightly worse than the worst picture you can find?"
no_user_ID_found
The Past
"'My ex used to do that too.'"
xxIvyOF
"Yep. I’ve definitely had two otherwise-decent-guy date-situations sour because the ex-comparisons just would not stop flowing. No woman wants to be seen as interchangeable—I’m not here to perfectly fill that ex-sized hole in your life. Focusing on the present moment and a future we could build together is a courtesy we need to grant each other in earliest dates of dating."
LarkScarlett
Powerless
"'I'm an alpha, you cant handle my top energy.'"
Midnightgay28
"I actually left a dude in the middle of dinner, in part, for saying this. I ordered an Uber under the table while pretending to listen to him. Went to the bathroom, and never came back. That was when I was young. Now I’d just say, 'How about we enjoy this meal in silence, before we head our separate ways.'”
UnicornMagicRainbow
Mommy...
"'Mother says I should be back by 9.'"
"Saying 'mother says' just feels weird."
bunnyrut
"That gives me Norman Bates vibes."
Werewolf_lover20
"'Mother says alligators are aggressive because they have an overabundance of teeth, but lack a toothbrush.'"
sodaextraiceplease
Obvs...
just kidding jk GIFGiphy"'If you were going to be murdered, what method would you prefer. Purely hypothetical. Obvs.'"
Specific_Tap7296
If it looks anything like a Dateline NBC episode... RUN!
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Or so you would think.
Do people still knit to pass the time? Are people actively collecting stamps?
It depends on who's asking.
Curious to hear about hobby trends, Redditor gizehgizeh asked:
"What are once popular hobbies that are slowly dying these days?"
Before we've become conditioned to living on our phones, these activities used to keep people occupied.
Before Texting, There Was This
"Letter writing."
– littlekingMT
Literal And Tangible Joy
"Well the internet killed pen pals for sure. I do remember I had a Japanese girl for a penpal maybe back in 2007 or so. I honestly don't remember how it started, pretty sure some website, but that was a fun experience. But now I can just straight up talk to foreign people real time, lol. But yea getting a physical letter that someone took the time to write and mail still is hard to beat feelings wise."
– skyburnsred
Model Trains
"When I was growing up, every town had a model train store in it. Now I have one in region and everything else has to be bought online."
– Hairy_Effective1172
Pretty Rocks
"Don’t see anyone playing marbles anymore, I had an awesome collection in school."
– sheeple85
"I had some marbles as a kid in the 90s. My grandma got them for me and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them. I always imagined them as a thing kids in the 40s played with."
– Ryoukugan
People Were Moving Canvases
"Paintball has been dying a slow death since 2006. Sad, really."
– hobo_recycler
Before the general population began hating clutter, collecting was once a "thing."
Precious Coins
"Coin collecting... I'm a silver/gold nut and I'm always hunting for precious metal coins. whenever I go into a shop they get all excited because 'no one under 70 collects coins anymore.'"
– ThatFishySmell99
Post It
"Stamp collecting."
– spooky_scully_mulder
"Collecting in general, really. Of course there are still prominent collectors but it's slipped more into enthusiast and niche territory than being a popular hobby that you might expect anyone to have."
– iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
What A Gem
"Rockhounding was immensely popular back in the 1950's and 1960's. Personally, I think it's a fascinating and fulfilling hobby, but when I go to a meeting at a rock and gem club, I'm usually the youngest one in the room by several decades."
– filthy_lucre
People once enjoyed making things.
Admiring The View
"Stained glass. I learned how to make it from my old man, and my junior high art class teacher also taught it. Very few artisans are still around."
– brobeanzhitler
Metal Vocation
"Black smithing."
– kenworth117
"I bought a forge to try. It’s insanely hard work, and crazy expensive. I still haven’t finished a piece."
– DSentvalue
Scrapbooking
"Yeah. I'm watching the arts and crafts stores around me completely uninstalling their racks for specialty paper. Now the only thing they have is mega packs of repeating colors/images. To boot all the inclusions like papercraft/die-cut things, washi tape, scissors, stickers, etc have gotten so expensive I would rather go buy $5 bags at value village to get an assortment of things versus buying anything new. I really, really miss yard sales for the same reasons."
– Phantasmai
I envy people who have jobs that are basically their hobbies.
Not everyone gets paid doing what they actually enjoy and have a profound level of passion for.
If they do, kudos to them.
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While the process could take time, some people make our jobs much easier after spotting instant red flags.
Curious to hear about our general radar of people, Redditor xxFluffie asked:
"What is something that makes you immediately dislike someone?"
Some people just think they are absolutely hilarious and never realize they're the only ones laughing.
Next In Line
"They laugh about having screwed someone else over. If you think you're not next, well, you'll learn."
– whiznat
Unfunny
"when you mention you don't like a thing and they immediately do that thing 'as a joke.'"
– wayfinder
Playing Devil's Advocate
"Kneejerk contrarians. People who, no matter what you say you like or believe, just have to dismiss it and say they like or think the opposite."
– BubbhaJebus
People who put others down get slammed here.
Bad Parents
"When they treat their kids sh**ty in public. I don't mean handling tantrums, setting a rule, having to hurry to the train etc. I mean perfectly normal-behaved kids getting in trouble for trailing along peacefully, looking at things, asking questions etc."
"If you don't like tiny humans who learn the world, why have them??"
– raxeira-etterath
Public Humiliation
"Treating people sh**ty in public for laughs. Like being rude to service workers because they think it’s funny. Big red flag."
– Ok_Personality_1080
Simply Uncalled For
"Someone who is a d*ck to other people or animals for no reason."
– xebt1000
Those with ulterior motives rubs people the wrong way.
The Scheme
"If they try to get me to join their MLM scheme."
– spazmcgee1
Hard Sell
"A guy I used to be friends with in high school reached out a couple of years after graduating about a business opportunity he wanted my opinion on because 'you've always been smart', then he set up a Skype call and brought some other dude into the call and they started trying to sell me on what was clearly an MLM scheme. The guy went from friend to 'I'm never talking to you again' in a matter of 10 minutes."
– Mental-Afternoon-164
A Timeline
"Good gawd, this! I've had more than one exposure to this abject bullsh**tery..."
- Back in the late 80's/early 90's I was invited to a meeting of literally the OG "Pyramid" where you're recruited to pay in, and then you go out and recruit others to pay in, and the last in line got f'kall.
- In 1995 I had a coworker try to reel me into Amway, which was a hard no.
- In 2000 it was Pampered Chef, though to be fair they did have useful products.
- In 2009 a coworker tried to get me into some stupid video calling service that was obviously stupid from the description. He even got offended when I called bullsh*t.
– Mystical_Cat
Too much ego is a no-go.
I Can Do Better
"Being a b*tch just to stroke their own ego."
"We get it, you can lift 5lbs more than the 12 year old, you don't have to rub it in their face just because you're slightly better"
– Livia_Pivia
Can't Top This
"Oh, you did <story that's been told>? That's nothing! I did <implausible story>.
"I get the whole empathy through relating common experience, and I'm someone who does that (which drives some people crazy on its own), but there's a big different by empathising through common experience, and one-upmanship."
– Tisarwat
Lacking Conversational Etiquette
"Starting to talk over me when I was already talking."
"Stop it you rude, arrogant jerk."
– R33Gtst
If one or more of these traits sound familiar to you, you're not alone.
We don't have time for braggadocios, pyramid-schemers, and conversation interrupters.
And that's just for starters.
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Pleading to deaf ears...
"My dad told me he had hearing loss and couldn't hear me if I whined because my pitch would get too high."
"Would completely ignore me until I asked him questions in a normal voice."
"Trusted him implicitly until I was 12 and he yelled at my younger brother for whining."- Tyrion_Stark.
Get it while you can.
"That they took everything off the shelves when the supermarket closed."- fgyfddg.
venezuela empty shelves GIF by euronewsGiphySilly superstitions.
"My grandfather used to tell me that if I played with the fire, I'd pee the bed."
"I believed him for a while, until I got older."
"I think he was just trying to protect me from the fire."- teddypa1981.
"Rain, rain go away..."
"That if it was raining where I was, it was raining everywhere in the world."- morningshartz.
Age is just a number.
"My parents used to seem really old to me, so much so I believed they grew up like cave people as children, wearing giant leaves for clothes and what not."- Laleena_.
Hammer Floor GIF by VPROGiphySo that's how they're made!
"That smokestacks from the power plant created clouds."- Scaniarix.
An instant cure.
"The sun gives you sunburns, therefore, moonlight should heal them."- velocipeter.
Better safe than sorry.
"Don't drink and drive meant all drinks."
"My dad was super confused when I told him he wasn't allowed to have any soda until we got home."- hulagirlslovetoparty.
Don't believe everything you see on TV.
"There was an episode of Mickey Mouse where Mickey couldn’t reach something at first, so he tried again and somehow his arm was long enough to reach it."
"As a small kid I believed that if I couldn’t reach something, I should just try reaching for it again and my arm would then somehow be long enough to reach it."- That-Dutch-Person.
love him one piece GIFGiphyThe miracle of childbirth.
"That babies are pooped out."
"When I was like 7 I was listening to my aunt as she explained that childbirth was pretty intense and painful for her, and I was all solemnly like, 'yeah, sometimes just my poops are painful, I don’t think I could get a baby out' and she went 'um, WHAT?' and her reaction made me realize real quick that I had f*cked up somewhere and I tried to change the subject while my mind was just reeling lol."- thesoundingfurrows.
Oh to be a child again.
And to believe literally everything you're told.
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