Weddings are supposed to be about love and celebration, right? Yeah if you're chuckling right now it's clear that you're not a new reader.
Welcome to the madhouse, friends. We're gonna talk about some drama.
Reddit user Prudent_Passenger596 asked:
Has anyone ever witnessed an objection at a wedding? What's the juicy details?
If you think objections only happen in movies, you're about to have your world rocked.
Kick back, grab snacks, and let's talk about the drama in other people's lives as opposed to yours. It'll be a nice change of pace.
The Groom's Brother Saves The Day... and The Bride
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"It was a train wreck."
"Bride was so much better than the abusive creep she was supposed to marry. She planned to leave him but she felt like she had to marry him because she got a positive pregnancy test."
"During the ceremony his own brother objected that he had tampered with her birth control to force her to stay with him."
"He came with receipts too. Text messages and voicemails bragging about how it worked, she was pregnant and how he was cheating on her, etc. Finally the dude's mom tried to stop him but he snapped at her that she was 'an enabling b*tch' and he wasn't going to let this go on."
"The bride said she wasn't going to marry him and us bridesmaids grabbed her and bolted."
"She ended up miscarrying shortly after that, so no co-parenting relationship needed to happen and he's completely stonewalled from all information on her." - PlanksGoneMad
Everyone Thought It Was Cute
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"Nothing juicy. But I was the flower girl at my aunt's wedding. I was five at the time."
"I thought that when she got married, that she would leave and I would never see her again. She had told me that after the wedding she was going to California. I thought she wasn't coming back!"
"So I was bawling at the ceremony and screaming 'no no no I object I object!' "
"Everyone thought it was so cute." - 6xtine7
"I did the same thing at my cousins wedding when I was 6. I guess the fear of family leaving forever runs deep in kids" - Sammarpie
"Ahh, the pain of children. Something very enjoyable, I guess?" - Nothingisuphere1234
We Lasted Less Than 1 Year
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"The first time I got married, I was 21 and my wife was 20. In our country she was not old enough to sign her wedding certificate, her mother had to sign for her."
"Also, she was very visibly pregnant and we both were stressed and had been crying."
"Each one of us had decided not to get married and then changed our minds in the months leading to the actual wedding. It was well known to us and everyone else that we were only doing it because of the pregnancy."
"So during the ceremony, one of her uncles said he objected, for all the reasons mentioned above."
"We actually stopped, and she got to another room and talked with her family for some 30 minutes."
"Then they came out and said we should go through with it, and we did. We lasted less than 1 year before the divorce." - Kriskao
Confession
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"Objection by a priest."
"A friend of mine was getting married. She and her fiancé lived in England, but the wedding was in their home country 2,000 mi away. We have a tradition in their home country that the couple and their families go to confession the day before wedding."
"My friend's sister confessed to the priest that she was secretly dating her sister's fiancé for several months now. This was the same priest that was supposed to marry my friend with her fiancé the next day."
"The priest made her confession public and objected the wedding. 250 invited guests that came from many different countries left shocked."
"Happy end. My friend met a great person a few years later and they married at a small ceremony back in England."
"But the relationships with the sister are still not great." - apeIover
A Homophobic Beatdown
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"I had to go to a wedding with my mom. One of the brides was a good friend and coworker of my mom's. This was a lesbian wedding."
"The other bride (not my mom's coworker) had her dad object saying: 'I didn't raise my daughter to be a f-word!' "
"He got an absolute beatdown as his daughter cried. The first punch was directly in the stomach if I remember correctly. It was like something out of an action movie."
"1 dude held the jerk still while the other 3 absolutely beat him to the ground. The cops were called though, so the dude got less of a beating than he should've. It was classic southern justice."
"I don't understand why you would do this to your own daughter." - idiotic__gamer
The Ex
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"The bride's ex-boyfriend objected at a family wedding I went to just before the pandemic hit."
"Turns out the bride was pregnant with the ex's baby and the guy she was marrying thought it was his."
"That started a decent sized fight which I don't remember much of thanks to the open bar I went back to so I could enjoy the show. I heard one of my cousins got it on their phone, but don't know for sure." - Invisible_Northerner
Former Anti-Vaxxers Explain What Actually Made Them Change Their Mind | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Traditionally
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"My uncle's wedding, in my country we do two wedding ceremonies: the traditional wedding ceremony where the woman introduces the fiancé to her family and then the finally religious wedding ceremony."
"So my uncle had a traditional wedding with his first wife, but they separated before they had the religious wedding and he moved on and got a second 'wife'."
"They had the traditional marriage and on their religious wedding ceremony, the first wife - whom he had been separated from for like 5 years - showed up in church and stopped their wedding on grounds that he had married her traditionally."
"The priest didn't give the go ahead to marry him and the second wife until he sorted issues with the first wife, but he was finally able to wed his second wife in church." - Peakcok
Everybody Marry Mommy!
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"Not very juicy, but very adorable."
"At a co-workers wedding, their 3 year old objected because he didn't want Daddy to marry Mommy, HE wanted to marry Mommy!" - cdgal38382
Super Awkward For Everyone
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"I was at a wedding where the groom's father was the pastor. And the pastor objected to his son marrying a woman that already had children."
"Pretty much called her a wh*re and denounced the marriage. But after his rant/sermon he finished the wedding."
"Super awkward for everyone in attendance." - Maxthunder5
A Drunk Uncle
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"Former function band member here. We played weddings, the standard stuff."
"I didn't witness the actual objection as we were there for the reception. But word got around."
"Apparently a drunk uncle claimed he had been with the bride mere nights before - and she was a great shag. He thought it was hilarious."
"The couple ended up not actually getting married as they felt he had ruined the ceremony. I can't say I blamed them really."
"Hardly anybody was at the reception as nobody wanted to stay. They pretty much left a lot of expensive food on the table and an empty room."
"I have to say the chicken was simply delicious - and free as nobody was there to eat it! The bride and groom didn't show up either so I have no idea what their reaction was." - raceAround126
So what have we learned today, friend?? Let's just go ahead and take that "objections" bit out of the ceremony - and start acting right! Jeez.
Ok!
Cartoon Yes GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"Breastfeeding, sure no problem. Changing diapers on the table/booth/chair, no freaking way. There's a reason most bathrooms have a change table."
- LuntiX
Be Clean
"As long as you don't leave your dirty flip-flops on the table that's disgusting."
"Last week I was at a cafe terrace and I saw a woman breastfeeding her baby and afterwards changing the diaper on the table (which was a tad odd since they have a nice changing room there). After she left I noticed she left the dirty diaper on her plate, didn't even bother to close it up."
- domin8r
Silence
"A baby can't scream with a mouthful, so I'd say it's a win-win."
"My son used to do the same. The thing is his twin would get right to feeding and would stimulate the let down on his boob too, so it would be 20 seconds of screaming and 30 seconds of vague drowning noises before he clicked that food was happening."
Who Cares?
"The baby's gotta eat. Plus I don't even pay enough attention to other people to even notice or give a crap either way."
- Jikal
"I agree lol!! I've noticed moms breastfeeding their babies at a restaurant maybe a grand total of TWO times in my whole life, and I go out to eat all the time. However, I ALWAYS notice when a baby is screeching so loud nobody can enjoy their meal."
"I don't even mean just crying, I mean that SCREECH they do sometimes where if you're anywhere close to them you can't even continue talking, you just have to stop and WAIT for the kid to finish. (I promise I don't hate kids LOL this is just my opinion)."
No Adults
Oh No You Didnt GIF by happydogGiphy"Acceptable if she's breastfeeding her baby, weird if she's doing so with her husband."
- maajyc
So far, so normal. Stay in your own conversation. If you're that interested about another person, you're sounding like a stalker.
Whateves
Let It Go Whatever GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy"The more it happens the less people will care."
Couple Issues
"I was once breastfeeding my daughter on the beach, aside from my boob being *kind of* out (mostly blocked by the baby) I was wearing shorts and a shirt, more covered than most of the people on the beach. Apparently a dude started watching me that I didn't notice and his girlfriend took offense to it."
"She started to approach me, but my mom was with us and gave her the stink eye to end all stink eyes. I have to think if they had been just a little more exposed to breast feeding this wouldn't have been anything. I'm also 99% sure that incident resulted in the couple fighting."
When in Public
"I walked with my head down the majority of my life because I felt like everyone was staring at me as I'm a very tall female. Started looking up a few years ago and realized how very wrong I was. I cared WAY more about this made up scenario in my head while assuming the worst and causing MYSELF to feel shame over it- than anyone else ever cared about my height. We're all busy doing our own thing and I don't think MOST people care about women breastfeeding in public as people think they do."
In the UK...
"I went to a mall in London, England once with a room dedicated for baby care. There were comfortable chairs and a microwave and sink. There were also little rooms with rocking chairs and low light floor lamps. Now, I would feed my baby wherever the hell I needed to, but this was luxury."
Free!
Mothers Day Mama GIF by reactionseditorGiphy"I'd rather a happy baby having a meal than a hungry miserable baby screaming and crying for nourishment. I am however against the restaurant charging an opening fee."
It is what it is. Be free ladies. Whatever keeps the kid quiet, works for most of us. Do as you need.
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Reddit user QadeerRay asked:
What is an item you think should be free?
The responses were honestly a lot more varied than I expected. I was positive I'd see someone mention the places that charge you for using rain water - the literal water that falls freely from the sky - but there's a lot here that I hadn't even thought about and honestly, I'm kind of salty now.
Come, be salty with me.
Notifying People Is Expensive
creepy grim reaper GIFGiphy"Death certificates." - redrivverrunning
"For me they were $16 each - and every single company that the deceased has an account for needs a copy."
"I learned to go in person to places like banks as much as I possibly can. They make a copy and give it back to me, that way I can avoid mailing it for them to keep forever so I have to buy even more official copies." - classic_elle
"In the state where I live, they charge you $20 for the first certificate and $3 for each additional one so the funeral homes generally suggest you go ahead and order 5-6 more than you think you'll need after figuring out their accounts and stuff because it's still cheaper than getting a single extra at a later time." - SilverDarner
"The UK government does have a service where you inform them of a death, provide them with the certificate, and they'll make a best effort to inform all of the person's banks and pension providers. It doesn't have nearly the number of companies being informed that I would've liked, but it's a good start."
"What confuses me is that other companies aren't jumping at the chance to be on the notification list... you'd think it would be in their best interest to be notified if one of their customers died so they can clean stuff up on their end. But oh well." - SweatyOctopussy
"Not really, (at least in the US) they would really only need to stop billing/autopay once they are informed of the death and it is confirmed. The longer they can go without that confirmation, the better it is for their bottom line."
"Source: Work in corporate America" - TheLastFartan
Looking At You, Nestle
3D Loop GIF by Pi-SlicesGiphy"Drinkable water. Looking at you, Nestle. The company has a history of taking over water sources and that whole formula thing was gross." - Whit-Batmobil
"Nestle financially pushed for hospitals in 3rd world countries to start new born babies on 'free trials' of formula feeds so the mother's weren't feeding & their milk would dry up. Essentially forcing them to buy & continue using the formula forever."
"To make matters worse, this was done in areas with no safe drinking water so babies that were only a few days old were giving formula mixed with unsafe water & many got sick/died as a direct result when their mothers could have just breastfed them safely and for free."
"Even when Nestle was alerted to this (as if they didn't already know) they refused to change their tactics. The company is scum." - now_you_see
In Public
bathroom GIFGiphy"Using public toilets in Europe." - pretty_pumpkin
"Personally, here in Germany I find it is counter-intuitive. I think people resent having to pay for a toilet, and treat it like 'Alright, you're going to charge me €.50 for a pee, I'm going to get my money's worth then and just piss everywhere, because f--- you for making me pay to pee.' "
"This I find is especially true with toilets where the cleaning is 'automated.' On the other hand, you go into a lot of department stores, or a mall, etc, the toilets are often attended to by a person sitting just outside the entrance. Payment is usually optional (i.e. there is no turnstyle you have to unlock by putting money in), but it is typical to put €.50 or so in the dish on your way out... and in those cases I find the bathrooms very clean."
"Other bathrooms, particularly those along the autobahn, are actively serviced, but have a payment turnstile thing you have to go through. You can then use the receipt from the turnstile at the fast food and snack shops which are a part of the building, and you'll get the amount you paid at the bathroom deducted from your purchase."
"But overall public bathrooms are just terribly hard to find (paid or otherwise). Public pissing is common and basically unavoidable. You see it and smell it regularly." - Mozambique-Ready
Insulin
michael douglas greed GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"Insulin industry is actually hijacked by three companies and they're doing all they can to keep it's price high."
"It's not a luxury. It keeps people alive! Show some humanity."
"• Eli Lilly, Novo Nordisk and Sanofi are the three companies that dominate more than 90% of the world insulin market by value. This means that they can set prices as they wish."
"• Production cost of insulin is about 2% of it's market price."
"• Unlike any other medicine, there is no generic insulin. Insulin is still under patent after 37 years. 'Big three' producers are abusing legal loophole for over 4 decades. (Known as Patent evergreening)."
"• These companies make profit of worth billions. Not to mention they're spending millions on lobbying politicians and donating to other decision makers to keep quiet."
"• They pay another companies not to enter the market. Or they sue them. That's what happened to company called Merck. Sanofi sued them." - DogDisguisedAsHooman
Standard Bathroom Care
tampons ugh men GIF by DiggGiphy"Uhm tampons and pads in public restrooms, schools, etc. Freak I'm a penis carrier and even I think that sh*t should be free."
"You would be mad if you went in to a public restroom and there was a coin slot for the f*cking toilet paper."
"I don't think they should be free off the shelf. Everything requires money to make so in reality nothing is free, but this should be standard care in every bathroom just in case." - TripleThickBacon
We're Not Here For Fun
season 8 episode 23 GIFGiphy"Hospital parking. Oh, dad's dying? Doesn't matter. 5 bucks." - bdd4
"Where I live you go in for free, but they do charge to leave. If you get your parking validated, (pretty much just saying you had a reason to be there as a patient or visitor) you get to leave for free."
"They had a huge issue with people parking there for free, but not even being there for the hospital. Just a place to park as they did business or shopping downtown where the hospital is located." - Howling_Fang
"You're gonna love this. We as hospital staff have to pay to park the hospital as well!"
"I am close to graduating from a medical program and some area hospitals hire from graduates of our school's program over other applicants so they have meetings at our campus about working there and benefits, etc"
"the cheapest parking package they offered, which is still a MASSIVE hike to the door is $50 a week, the most expensive being $100 a week."
"They made it a point to highlight that their staff ride all the city buses for free with our ID cards and they bring you to the front door, so that's something at least." - xBlackx_xDahliax
The Dreaded Paywall
Pay Me Kim Kardashian GIF by GQGiphy"Scientific articles. They're mostly behind a paywall."
"You can either subscribe to certain journals so that you have access year-round ($ depends on the specific journal), or you can pay for access to one article at a time. The latter is usually about $30-$50."
"As a scientist, this has always irritated me. People on social media everywhere reference blogs and other non-scientific articles, which are, of course, ill-informed and non-scientific."
"We should be linked to science journals when we Google - but then every time we're interested in some topic, pay $50 to read about it?? That's ridiculous."
"Even news media reporting on interesting results from science pubs get the results mucked up. You really can't trust anything but the peer-reviewed paper itself." - BrahmTheImpaler
"I firmly believe this is one (of many!) reasons why the US is full of anti-science/anti-intellectualism rhetoric."
"We keep information locked behind paywalls, creating yet another socioeconomic barrier for attaining knowledge. Even if the desire to learn is there, it means incredibly little without the ability to access the information." - sayhellotojenn
Buying My Info Back
Confused Always Sunny GIF by It's Always Sunny in PhiladelphiaGiphy"Schufa Auskunft."
"This private company in Germany just collects all your information (like a credit score) without your consent and the you have to buy all that info back from them because otherwise no landlord will ever accept you."
"There is a free Schufa you can request that once a year (so bad luck if your search for a home takes over a month) and it's also not the full one. Some landlords still demand the full one." - GreenKangaroo3
Seeing Is A Luxury?
Glasses Seinfeld GIFGiphy"I have insurance and I still have to pay (in my opinion) too much to just be able to see."
"It's not a luxury, it's a basic need. Also, my sight changes all the time so I can't even get a nice pair and be set for the next few years. If I'm lucky I'll get to keep a pair for 1,5 to 2 years before I absolutely need new glasses." - Proper-Literature173
"I think it's weird that vision and dental are separate from health insurance. Like seeing and chewing are just vanity." - FistedTate
"I can't believe how far I had to scroll to find this, I passed 3 waters and chicken nuggets. Why does it cost money to see? And I have 20/20 vision so this doesn't affect me." - Tian_Lord23
So tell us, what you YOU make free for everyone if you could?