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People Who Attended A Wedding Where Someone Objected Share Their Experiences

People Who Attended A Wedding Where Someone Objected Share Their Experiences
Wedding Photography/Unsplash

We see it in movies all the time. At the very last second, someone comes bursting through the doors of the church, or stands up in the back row, and pronounces their love for one of the soon-to-be newlyweds.

The whole room gasps in shock that someone would object in the middle of the couple's big moment.

But does that actually happen in real life?

Apparently, it does.

We went to Reddit to find out what that's like for people.

Redditor summeralexander14 asked:

"People that have had someone object at your wedding, what happened?"

These will make you think twice about how ficticious your favorite rom-com is.

The cutest objection.

"My dad marrying his third wife."

"My step brother and I were in the wedding party. He was about 6, I was 10. The preacher asks if anyone objects and my brother raises his hand so very politely. My dad asks why, and my step brother replies, 'Because I want you to promise to take me fishing whenever I want, first.'"

- vogera

"That’s honestly pretty cute."

- summeralexander14

"Yes but it seems pretty fishy to me."

- poopellar

The childhood sweetheart.

"My cousin was marrying a Korean guy she went to grad school with. His family had come in from abroad and were sitting all together on one side of the room. When they got to the objection part, this Korean girl yells out "NO!" and stands up and starts screaming in Korean at the groom. As everyone is trying to figure out what the hell is going on, an old lady calmly walks up to the girl and slaps her face. The girl starts sobbing as some more older women grab her and pull her outside."

"The explanation was that she was just a drunk friend that didn't want him marrying an American. Found out later that the girl was actually a childhood sweetheart that was screaming how the groom promised to marry her-- which was awkward since the two were related to each other in some way (was not quite sure how). Anyway, cousin and her husband are quite happy, so no harm in the end."

- ShoddyEvent420

"Didn't know this happened in East Asian countries as well but it is not out of the ordinary for kinda distant but not so very distant relatives to get married in Asian countries. Some place even have first cousins getting hitched. Mostly because of the family oriented culture in those parts."

- poopellar

"Apparently it's really taboo in Korean culture which is why they were so embarrassed by her."

- ShoddyEvent420

"I mean.... It's pretty taboo in nearly all cultures."

- jimbris

"Well, moderately taboo. Cousin marriage is legal in most countries, and more than 10 percent of marriages worldwide are first or second cousins. Depending on what 'kinda distant' means, it might not be that big a deal. But South Korea is among the strictest in the world, banning even third cousins."

- Merinther

They saw the moment, and ceased it.

"I was at my cousin’s wedding and someone screamed at the top of their lungs 'OBJECTION, your honor' because my cousin is a judge."

- Day283

"Did he respond with 'Overruled'?"

- HipsterSlug

"Explains how he was successful in courting his now wife."

- poopellar

Vegas wedding.

"First wedding in Vegas, found a homeless guy to be a witness in exchange for a sandwich from subway, objected because it didn’t have olives like he wanted."

- TheseVirginEars

"Olives fair in love and war."

- poopellar

"First wedding in Vegas? How many Vegas marriages do you have??"

- eighteen_18

A very important detail missing.

"My dad's seen an objection - he volunteers at a church. The bride and groom were siblings, and their father hadn't told them until he objected (I believe he was estranged to both of them). They already had a kid apparently."

- Any_Lake_288

"Kinda sh*t to tell them last minute don't you think?"

- PumpkinKing2020

"Last minute?? It was way passed that, they already had a kid!"

- AlanaK168

They tried to avoid it.

"I grew up in a super fundamentalist Christian community. My best friend fell in love, but her parents were pissed because they wanted to do an arranged marriage for her, so they locked her in the house for months. Finally I helped her escape and she got married in a very small ceremony."

"She used to be very close to her brother, so she invited him. He was also angry about her eloping, so he wore all black, including black sunglasses, and stood there looking p*ssed the whole time."

"We specifically asked the pastor to not do the 'does anyone object' thing because we didn't want to give anyone the chance. When her brother realized the pastor wasn't going to say it, he tried to stop the wedding anyway. My brothers had to escort him out."

"It was f*cking heartbreaking."

- JamesandtheGiantA**

Poor excuse for a prank.

"Not my wedding but at a friends, a family member paid some kid $20 to run in and say "Daddy don't marry that woman!" like it was his child. Did not go over well as a prank at all...."

"From what I'm told its laughed about today by everyone except the bride and groom."

- bourbonisall

"Whoa easy there Satan!"

- xorbe

He was already married.

"Priest here. Where I am, the only objection people can make is a legal one. It doesn’t matter if they merely don’t approve."

"I had one objection at a wedding, where the person who spoke claimed the groom was already married. That’s enough to stop the wedding. Turned out they were Serbian (which I knew) and didn’t know our legal system. The groom hadn’t realized the church wedding was also the legal wedding, so they’d married each other in a civil ceremony a few days before. That was fun to sort out!"

- Peteat6

"How did you sort it out?"

- Lakersrock111

"I had to contact the registry office and check on the status of the groom. I was shocked that legally only one person was required to give the information and sign. So if that one person didn’t know about the other person's previous marriage, they could sign in all honesty, and still find themselves in a bigamous marriage. In my case the registry office found out who the groom had married, so there was relief and laughter, and not too much delay."

- Peteat6

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Not an official objection.

"Not an official objection, but when my mum was marrying my dad, my grandpa (her dad) circled her around the church over and over again telling her he didn’t have to stop, she didn’t have to go in, and they could just drive away."

"It didn’t work. They’re still married 30+ years later. Eventually grandpa learned to like dad."

- anewae

"My dad did the same thing!!! As the 2 of us were driving to the ceremony he kept saying 'I don't have to stop. We can go WHEREVER you want, you know it's not too late.' We lasted 11 years before I couldn't take his abuse any longer."

"The one time in my life I should have listened to my father."

- drakiedoodle

"My ex-wife's Aunt said to me on the wedding day... 'You don't have to do this ya know.'"

"I should have listened."

- Dorothy_The_Winosaur

"My great-grandmother showed up on my mom's wedding day while she was getting ready, handed her a tallboy of beer, and said, 'Here, you'll need this.'"

"Both sides of the family were pissed my parents lived together before marriage, so some drama was expected. The marriage has outlived almost all of them, though. Except that great-grandmother. She's still inexplicably alive."

- Dangercakes13

"My maternal granddad said to my mum on her wedding day to not marry my dad as he wasn’t good enough for her. He was right of course, but if she’d listened I wouldn’t exist."

- trev2234

"Wow same! He didn't try on her wedding day, but apparently my mom wouldn't listen and one day my Boppa got pulled over by a cop. Somehow they ended up talking about their daughters and he said, 'My daughter is marrying a selfish man and I can't stop it.'"

"Spoiler: my dad is the most selfish person I've seen in my life. They are divorced and I'm no contact with him. Glad to exist though."

- Siabhre

He made a Facebook page.

"My dad objected leading upto my wedding. Even went as far as making a Facebook(he's 60+) and letting a bunch of people know he was against it."

"There was no way he could object at the wedding cause he didn't come."

- i8bonelesschicken

"What was it that he didn't like about your partner? And are you still together?"

- free-crude-oil

"He felt she was trying to take advantage of me. We both came from poor family's and I had skipped education and started working full time when I was 17 and moved up fairly quickly."

"We had known each other for a while and she was like a "child" slept 10-12 hours a day, needed help with doing basic chores and wouldn't do anything challenging. She was and is always encouraging me no matter what I try and she convinced me to seek out a promotion when I only met 1 out of 10 qualifications and I got the job which launched my career."

"As terrible as this may sound but I'm a pretty ugly guy and I've had a tough time with girls cause of that but she never treated me weird and was with me."

"We are still together and have one kid about to hit our 5 yr anniversary and are closer than we were when we first got married."

- i8bonelesschicken

The plot twist.

"I was at the wedding of that rare beast - a work colleague who was actually a good friend as well. Only a couple of work people were invited by her, including a guy we'll call Matt, because that is his name. Matt and the bride had dated for a while a few years ago, but had remained good friends after."

"So the ceremony starts, no sign of Matt... we get to the bit 'does anyone have any lawful objections etc' and the church goes quiet, then the heavy wooden door to the church door bangs open and there is Matt, looking red faced, flustered and upset and you could see the thoughts run through everyone's mind... 'Oh sh*t'... and Matt limped awkwardly to a pew in the back and sat down quietly."

"He'd overslept and twisted his ankle running to the church, that was all - so no objection, no drama, but damn we all thought for a second it was going to kick off. My friend the bride even saw the funny side, about 3 months later."

- WiredAndTeary

"Matt is the king of comedic timing."

- onelonelywhumperfly

He offered her money.

"I was at a wedding where there were three parties: the bride's, the groom's, and the groom's mother's. She hated the bride, thought she was not good enough for her son, etc. I was friends with both bride and groom, and they had to invite the groom's mom and dad, but they had the priest avoid the 'Objection' part of the ceremony."

"At the reception, there was a moment where the groom's father danced with the bride, and a few minutes later she stormed off the dance floor. The groom's dad had offered her $5,000 cash to walk away right then and there and have the marriage annulled. The reception featured a flambeau entrée, and everybody was watching the groom's mother, half expecting her to grab one of the flaming skewers from one of the waiters and hurl it at the bride."

"They're still married 30 years later and have two kids, but I believe they are estranged from the groom's family for some reason..."

- AAlHazred

He cheated and still got married.

"Ex-girlfriend's coworker's wedding. The groom’s side-chick shows up absolutely hammered right when the ceremony started. Screaming at him saying she’s supposed to marry him. She was carried out by a few of the groomsmen. Ceremony went on like nothing happened."

"Find out about 1 year later that he was still cheating (with that chick and another one)."

- ok_koreal

"You'd think that her needing to be carried out would be a sign to the groom that he should've stopped then and there."

- FloorGangMan1

An objection to save the wedding.

"My wife's uncle (who owned the farm we were getting married) stood up at the objection part. Immediately, his son (who was the man of honor) yelled at him to sit down. To his credit he did. For about 12 seconds then stood up again. He objected because there was a big f*cking storm coming up the driveway and about to smack the ceremony and all of our hurrying couldn't beat it. My wife made it inside before getting one else did. Got married inside instead."

"We knew it was coming within the next 15 minutes when we started the ceremony. We tried to hurry. But it was right at the objection part when the wall of rain was coming up the driveway. He knew the sound better than anyone (since he's lived there 35 years). Wife had just walked out to 'Here comes the Sun.'"

- nutrap

The wedding objection bit might happen in real life more than we think it does.

Hopefully it doesn't happen at your wedding, but it would definitely be memorable.

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People Reveal Which Non-Horror Movies Absolutely Traumatized Them As A Kid

Reddit user alina_love_ asked: 'What's a non horror movie that traumatized you as a kid?'

No matter how long ago we saw it, there are some scenes or images from movies that still send shivers down our spine or keep us awake at night to this very day.

Pennywise appearing in the sewer in It, Janet Leigh surprised in the shower in Psycho, Freddy Kreuger's tongue popping out of the telephone in A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Of course, some of the scariest, most disturbing, or most emotionally traumatizing scenes from films might have been featured in films outside of the horror genre.

Even more shockingly, some of these films were primarily marketed towards children!

Redditor alina_love was curious to hear which non-horror films the Reddit community saw as children still send shivers down their spines today, leading them to ask:

"What's a non horror movie that traumatized you as a kid?"

It Was Tim Burton, After All...

"'Pee Wee's big adventure'."

"Large Marge scared the crap out of little me."

"I was even scared of the fortune teller."- BlueStarrSilver·

With A Title Like "Temple Of Doom"...

"'Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom'."

"The scene where the guy gets his heart ripped out traumatized me for years."- Pbhf

That Funeral Scene Though...

"'My Girl'."

"Fear of death, fear of losing a friend, fear of bees, fear of puberty."- heidismiles

macaulay culkin kiss GIFGiphy

Jurassic Park's Got Nothing On This...

"'The Land Before Time'."

"Watching Little Foot’s mother die was awful."- HourglassSass

He'll Always Regret Not Bringing Her To The Museum...

"'Bridge to Terabithia'."- jumpstart-the-end

"Everything goes so well and it falls apart SO FAST and your left absolutely traumatized."- VortexDestroyer99

The Reason People Hold On To Their Appliances For As Long As They Do...

"The Brave Little Toaster'."- Catgurl

"The junkyard scene alone was responsible for so many nightmares."- ManChildMusician

brave little toaster animation GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy

And Let's Not Forget The Coachman's Smile...

"Disney’s version of 'Pinocchio'."

"The scene where kids are turned into donkeys and kept on the island and then resold was f*cking weird."

"You felt bad for that bully kid after he looked sad and nobody understood what he said because he was a donkey."- earnestlikehemingway

Few Things More Sad And Scary Than Deforestation

"'Ferngully: The Last Rainforest'."

"That evil tree scared me so bad."- slutsdotnet

Anything But "Truly Scrumptious"...

"The 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' Childcatcher guy!"

"I'm still scared of him!"- Jet_Maypen

child GIFGiphy

Offing Children One By One...In A Children's Movie!

"'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' boat scene."

"Honorable mention of claustrophobia when Augustus gets stuck in the chocolate tube."

"UGH!"- looseseal-bluth

At Least We Know He Had A "Sole"...

"Who Framed Roger Rabbit."

"That poor shoe….."- dalalice5555

At Least The Song Is Catchy...

"Neverending Story."

"Not even Artax, which was awful, but the Rockbiter and his good strong hands."- marxychick1

Neverending Story 80S GIFGiphy

Dorothy Gettying Electro Shock Therapy Says it All...

"Return to Oz."- Jeff_Steelflexx

"Horrifying! What about the animated wig heads?"- weensfordayz

The Reigning King Of Childhood Trauma

"Old Yeller."- IceTech59

"I remember watching this on TV during, I think, Wonderful World of Disney (Sunday nights were Disney night on TV)."

"Cried and cried and cried."

"I've never been able to watch it again and I've never shown it to my kids!"- crowwitch

Not All Friendships Are Tenable... A Terrifying Thought

"'The Fox and the Hound'."

"Still makes me incredibly sad, lol."- mental_reincarnation

best friends friendship GIFGiphy

Sometimes, writers and filmmakers simply overestimate what might go over a child's head.

Or, for that matter, they might underestimate their emotional capacity.

Regardless, ask any of Fairuza Balk's fans which is scarier, Return to Oz or The Craft, and their answer will be immediate...

(... and it won't be The Craft...)

Close-up of a man wildly smiling with his face painted like the joker
Photo by Mihail Tregubov

Sometimes it's fun to toy with someone.

Especially if it's an enemy or a loved one who simply deserves a good ribbing.

Some cryptic sentences can send anyone into a tailspin.

And oh the fun that can be had.

You have to be as vague as possible and as sincere.

You have to sell the sincerity. That's vital!

And then just watch them implode.

Redditor theary18 wanted to hear about the most creative ways to throw somebody off their game, so they asked:

"What is the best thing to say to someone to subtly f**k with their head?"

I love to come up behind someone and say "I can't believe they would treat you this way. I got you girl!"

Then I scurry away.


It's YOU!

For Me GIF by Liz HuettGiphy

"Just tack on the phrase 'given your history' to any question you ask someone."

"Are you sure you want another drink? Given your history?"

"Do you mind driving? Given your history?"


Mean Kids...

"I moved to my elementary school in the 5th grade. Mid-year, a boy came up to me and said, 'I really thought you were gonna be somebody.' I'm now 45 and I'm still like, what the f**k was he talking about?"


"Likely something they heard a parent say to someone. Kids love to repeat the dumb stuff you say the next day at school."


"All jokes aside he probably thought you were someone else. I've done the same things countless times and it's happened to me a few."


"I would interpret this as this kid hearing there's gonna be a 'new kid' and then their imagination ran wild as to who this new star is going to be, that it will be like in some kid movie or something, but you turned out to be just another kid student."


I Like You

"I don't get why other people don't like you."


"Another variant is..."

"I don’t care what everyone else is saying. I think you’re great!"

"They’ll take it as a compliment at first but then they’ll think about it and it’ll eat away at them."


"A guy I work with says this time to me every time I help him 'I don’t care what everyone else says about you you’re alright. Literally everyone else. We did a poll.' XD guy says some crazy s**t. When he started he tried to convince us he was a flat earther. He just likes fucking with people."



“'I heard about you.'"


"Whenever I hear this I always respond with 'if it’s all good, it’s all lies.' Usually shows my sense of humor and if it is bad things they heard it usually lightens the mood."


"Years ago I worked at a cafe and function venue which was sold after a few years to a new catering company. The first time I met the new restaurant manager I introduced myself and she exclaimed 'Oh, you’re winoforever!' and I was a bit weirded out. Then not long later I met the new owner and she also said 'Oh, you’re winoforever!' I still wonder twenty years later what they’d both heard about me."



Drunk Party Girl GIFGiphy

"Go up to someone at a party and say: 'I just want you to know that personally, I have no problem with you being here.'"


"I once got drunk and effectively said that to a girl at a wedding. 'I don't care what everyone else thinks, I always liked you' or something like that."


Parties are the perfect setting for these shenanigans.

Especially with the drinkers.

But get them at least semi-sober.

I got You

Okaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy

"If you are chatting with someone and another person walks up look at them and say 'I just want you to know that I was defending you' then turn and walk off. It's a good 2fer."



"'We know, but don't worry, we'll keep it a secret.'"


"A friend in high school (actually still a current friend) said something similar to me and it definitely f**ked with my head. 'You know you're not fooling anyone, right?' He wouldn't elaborate and it took me the rest of the day to figure out he was f**king with me. As a guy with imposter syndrome, especially as a teen, that had me turned for a bit."


You Again

"If it’s someone you interact with repeatedly, always introduce yourself as if you’ve never met before."


"I keep doing this to a guy I see very occasionally. He's a friend of my sister-in-law, but I've introduced myself to him at least four times. Right now, I'm trying to picture his face and I totally can't, so if I see him again, I'll introduce myself again. He remembers me though. And I don't have this issue with anyone else, I just can't remember this guy's face for some reason."


Big Mouth

"You really need to brush your teeth."


"Somebody jokingly left a message on the 'tip' line that said 'Take a breath mint.'"

"I'm like 90% sure it was just the first thing that came to his head but it f**ked with me for weeks. I was self-conscious when talking to people, being close to them with my mouth open, and I'd constantly be brushing longer/harder taking mouthwash a couple extra times a day, and using mints."


Head Issues

Think About It GIF by IdentityGiphy

"Give all your friends a few dollars to compliment their hat if they’re not wearing one. When 50 people insist you’re wearing a hat, you start to think you’re wearing a hat. It will drive them insane."


Hats off for that last one. That's harmless but devious.

Do you have any tips to add? Let us know in the comments below.

laughing woman wearing pink sweater
Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

Societal pressures shape how people act most of the time, but every now and then someone comes along who doesn't care what other people think.

They do what they want, when they want without guilt or remorse.

According to President Theodore Roosevelt:

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat."

Much less rare are the times when otherwise conscientious people decide to throw caution to the wind. Almost everyone had at least one moment in life when they decide to go for it.

Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead, right?

How things turn out after such a decision can make for some interesting stories.

Keep reading...Show less
Couple laughing
Photo by Devon Divine on Unsplash

Part of the fun of dating and being in a relationship are the unexpected, impulsive moments.

What's funny is how these could be equally arousing moments, too, even if they're moments that we never expected to make us feel that way.

Redditor thann3 asked:

"What is the weirdest thing your partner did that turned you on?"

Backing Up

"When he backs into a parking spot, he puts his right hand on the back of my seat when he looks behind him."

"Hnnnngggggghhh. Gets me going and I don't know why."

- evilpinkmoney

"Every time someone mentions this, I am reminded of the time I did it and accidentally backhanded this girl in the face."

- kingoflint282

That Reading Voice

"In high school, this girl had a soothing voice. Every time she read out loud, I had goosebumps and she gave me butterflies."

- donbruh

Overwhelmingly Happy

"I can’t think of anything weird my husband did, but the first night of our honeymoon, we were talking about the wedding and our future, and I started crying because I was so happy (and told him that’s why I was crying)."

"He was smiling and gave me a kiss and then whispered, 'I don’t know why, but you crying just now turned me on.'"

"Lol (laughing out loud), it didn’t turn me on, but it did make me laugh, and I thought it was weird-cute."

- snarkylarkie

Safety First

"On the first date, he put my seatbelt on. It surprised me because I heard of men opening doors for their dates but not putting their seatbelt on. It just showed a very caring yet masculine side of him."

"The tension of knowing we wanted of each other but agreed to take it slow just made me go feral in my head."

"A year and a half later, he still does it to this day. He even gets 'mad' when I don't let him. I still blush when he does it, especially when other people are in the car with us."

- eeeeriemarie

Certain Accessories

"It wasn't my girlfriend, but over a Skype call maybe a decade ago when I was a teenager, I was on a call with a female friend I had the hots for."

"I casually mentioned that I had a thing for girls in glasses."

"She gasped, told me to wait there, and scurried downstairs. About 20 seconds later, she rushed back up, jumped onto her bed with her jaw resting on her fists, and low and behold, she was wearing glasses."

"We laughed, I didn't know what to say, but that was the cutest and sexiest way of letting me know she liked me."

- GemoDorgon

Good Chemistry

"I know it sounds weird, but her breath is intoxicating. It’s naturally somewhat sweet, and of course, she thinks I’m crazy."

"Edit: We know it’s not diabetes, ketosis, or any other medical issue. We’ve been together for over 30 years and it’s just good chemistry."

- yoooozername

That Deep Stare

"An ex-girlfriend of mine looked at me in a certain way every now and again that just did something to me, like a bit of a stare deep into my soul knowing she wants all of me. Every day I hope someone will recreate and enhance it."

- SamCham10

The Perfect Sweater

"When she wears THAT sweater, I'm powerless."

- wastedmytwenties

"Can someone link a pic of this type of sweater? Asking for a friend."

- schnaizer91

The Sleeve Roll Trick

"My boyfriend rolled up his sleeves kind of slowly the other day, and I felt like I couldn’t hear anything for like a solid minute, lollllll (laughing out loud)."

- farrah_barra

The Corniest Jokes

"This man will make the corniest joke in the whole world, and then his whole face lights up as he giggles at it. Gets me every time."

- Hobbbitttuallly

The Perfect Wine Pour

"We had our honeymoon in Italy and he noticed the waitstaff poured wine really beautifully, so he replicated it. Now I have him pour all my drinks for me."

"For some reason, the way his wrist moves when he pours really gets me going."

- chicken-and-awfuls

Specific Arm Movements

"Two things."

"When he's working on something mechanical and he starts getting serious, he'll flip his cap backward. It's an absent-minded thing and F**K is it sexy. And when he's working overhead, the way his arms flex. Watching him lift things into our attic is an instant turn-on. It's f**king weird, but godD**N does it do it for me."

"Also when I wear something sexy or low cut and he's not expecting it, he'll stutter if he's mid-sentence. We'll be talking from another room for instance, and I'll toss on a revealing shirt and walk in there and he'll lose his train of thought. Or shake his head like he needs to clear it. Your man making you feel sexy is the ultimate sexy move."

- shimmydownnow

Love Language: Physical Touch

"It's the gentle physical touch in public. That little 'Love you' touch as they scurry away to do a thing. Those random touches turn me on so quickly."

- 1beeratatime

Totally Saved It

"He fixed the shower in my truly horrible, low-rent grad school apartment and changed the oil on my car. Not sure why, but that just did things to me."

"If you were to ask my husband, self-deprecating humor would probably be his answer."

"On our first date, he and I went to see this stage production of 'Jekyll and Hyde.' At the bar, they were selling these cute little shots of Bailey's/Kahlua, with each liquor on separate sides of the glass. Me, being incredibly graceful in all things always, completely dumped the Bailey's half onto my blouse."

"His eyes got all big, not sure how to react, and I just sighed, turned to him, and reintroduced myself like, 'Hi, I'm (my name). This kind of thing happens a lot.'"

"He busted up laughing, I ordered a scotch, and we've been together for the past 11 years."

- anyesuki

Simply Existing

"Exist. My girlfriend could literally just stand there and I could and would get a chill down my spine."

- andytheloser12

While we were expecting these responses to be, well, weird, most of these were actually pretty cute or heartwarming.

Sometimes when it comes to relationships and intimacy, something can feel weird simply because it's unexpected, but maybe the unexpected moments are among the best parts of the relationship!