People Who Live In Vacation Destinations Dispel Common Misconceptions About Their Town

Haven't you ever gone on vacation just to say "I wish I could live here?"
Well, we've got news for you: someone does. And just like wherever you live, where they live has Its own issues and problems.
And those people are willing to share what their lives are like with us, so that we can stop wondering.
Redditor just_be_respectful asked:
"People who live in 'vacation destinations' (Paris, the Bahamas, etc.) what is the most irritating misconception about where you live?"
Here were some of those answers.
Viva
I live in Las Vegas. Listen. What happens in Vegas stays on the internet and also in the stories of every local who saw you do it. Don't do stupid stuff.
Came to say this. Many also think that there aren't any rules/laws in Vegas. Sorry but you can ruin your vacation very quickly. I know of one guy who didn't make it out of the airport before he was arrested.
Crowded Misery
Not all of New York City is as crowded as the touristy areas. The vast majority of us aren't navigating through Times Square as part of our daily commutes (but mad sympathy to those who actually have to).
Japanese Culture Is Not For Fetishizing
Tokyo here. I could name a few, but the one that always gets me is the misconception that people are going to accept (or even respond politely to) outrageous weebishness. If you roll up in Shibuya with a Naruto headband and a Hello Kitty backpack, trying to communicate through a handful of anime catchphrases while creepily leering at schoolgirls, people are rightly going to give you a wide berth.
The Most Expensive State
I only lived there for a little while, but it's a common misconception that Hawaii is a great place to live. Don't get me wrong - it might be the most beautiful place on earth and there are many, many exceptional things about living there. But it's terribly expensive just to grocery shop, let alone try to buy a house. Many people just live with their parents and grandparents because no one can afford to move out. So many houses and apartments/condos are bought as vacation properties, which drives up the price. Then, houses/apartments in residential neighborhoods have a revolving door of vacationers coming in and out, which is disruptive to normal life. (People on vacation care very little about how much noise they're making, etc.) It's a catch-22 because so much of Hawaii's money comes from tourism, but tourism is making it impossible for locals to buy homes.
An Australia Mood
Australia is big, varied, and safe. There are dangers here, but your biggest risk is yourself. Just read the signs (not a metaphor - there's signs about every danger everywhere) and use common sense.
Honestly, I've seen Americans and Canadians, who have been near grizzlies, freak out over a lizard. Just relax man, it's nice here.
I Have A Life Independently Of My City
I lived in Amsterdam for five years. I realized pretty quick for the rest of my life saying you lived in Amsterdam means people assume you're really into weed, illicit drugs, crazy parties, hookers, or a combination of all that. In actuality, most of my going out was for drinks with colleagues, I don't like pot, and only ever went to the red light district when someone visiting me was curious enough to see it.
LA Is A Very Different City
Los Angeles, specifically Hollywood. Literally everything about it is underwhelming. The Walk of Fame is cool for 2 seconds, Grauman's Chinese Theatre is smaller than you'd think, the Hollywood sign is just a big sign, and no, you're not going to run into a celebrities walking around. All the while it's incredibly crowded, smells terrible, and you have to dodge costumed street performers in droves.
New South Wales
Australian here.
Sydney and stuff are expensive. But the one thing that people underestimate about our country is the sheer size of it, people go to the hotspots like Uluru, GBR, Sydney and Melbourne but they forget that it is a country nearly the size of USA. It's not small and you will meet people who have never left their state before.
Yet They Still Vote Republican
Alaska. Where to begin?? It's not always dark. In fact, in the summer it's quite light. Hence some difficulty viewing northern lights in summer months. Ditto cold — we do have summer. In Fairbanks we regularly hit 80° in the summer, sometimes hotter. But also our state is HUGE. So what's true of Fairbanks isn't necessarily true of Anchorage. Or Juneau. In fact southeast (Juneau, Ketchikan, etc - the cruise ship circuit) is almost like a separate state. They're more like Seattle than the rest of AK.
People don't ride around all day on dog sleds. We don't live in igloos. We are Americans. Our Indigenous cultures are diverse and are not all Eskimo. Oh, and most of us can't see Russia from our back yards.
A City Ahead And Behind
I live in Seoul but moved here from the UK, so I'd probably say it's how everyone expects it to be super high-tech, convenient, and modern because South Korea managed to get that reputation due to having (at the time) crazy fast internet. The super high-tech/convenient stuff (in my opinion) would be:
- Constant wifi, even in the subways.
- Almost every PC Bang (essentially gaming cafes) I've been to allows you to order food and drink FROM your computer and people will bring it over for you. I thought it was really interesting that they had their system for ordering food and drink without leaving your chair.
- In the 5 or so years I've lived here, I've never lived in or been in apartment that still uses physical keys. Usually it's an electronic number lock and you will usually get a card that unlocks it as well.
The less than modern / inconvenient things would be:
- Doing almost anything online requires you to have a phone contract that's bound to the ID card you're legally required to carry at all times.
- Banks charge fees for EVERYTHING. Even my own bank charge me like 50c to withdraw cash.
- Online banking usually requires you to use third party security software, which is starting to get better but still an issue. I literally just use my phone to do all my banking because it's soo much easier.
- Korea websites usually look like a 2005 forum, like the whole website is made using tables.
- If you live in an older part of Seoul or in a less modern city in general, you'll probably have terrible sewage systems that require you to put used tissue in a bin, rather than flushing it down the toilet.
Sunshine State?
"Florida here."
"It's called the 'Sunshine State' but it rains every single day in the spring and summer. Tourists always seem surprised by that."
"No there is no dome over Disney to control the weather or the bugs - though Disney does have a great mosquito control program."
"Also, Miami is nowhere near as sexy as they make it seem on TV. That's like 2 streets by the beach and that's it, not that you want to be in that area because everything is more expensive and also sinking into the ocean so things keep collapsing."
"The wealth disparity is disgustingly clear."
"The REST of Miami is full of poverty, construction that gets abandoned, and tons of homelessness because of the batsh*t housing prices. Florida is only fun for the rich-rich. Don't come here if you're not, you WILL struggle."
- [Reddit]
"I live in Florida between Disney and Universal."
"Everyone things we live and breathe theme parks and that neon signs are everywhere. We have regular neighborhoods just like everyone else and we have working days just like everyone else."
"And we know better than to go to the parks on weekends, holidays, etc."
- pentops65
"I live in Miami."
"Everyone thinks all of Miami is like in the movies: beaches, parties, clubs, tropics. Yes, we are part of a tropical climate. But the party lifestyle is only a small fraction of Miami (Brickell, SoBe, Miami Beach, Wynwood)....everywhere else is basically...tropical suburbs."
"Lots of immigrant/latino & hatian working class neighborhoods."
"Yet there’s an influx of gentrification because people from other states/other countries are buying cheap/urban areas and making them hip. People from other states fall in love with 'X hip new neighborhood' and buy a condo/luxury apartment."
"That neighborhood slowly gets eroded and becomes 'hipster hood #3' or so and now those working class families can't afford to live there anymore."
"It sucks. Everyone is hating how expensive it is, more people are forced into homelessness daily, but it doesn’t seem like it’s gonna get better anytime soon."
- _Schadenfreudian
Not Paradise
"A little late, but I grew up and live in Hawaii and the most common misconception is that it's paradise."
"The scenery is amazing with the unique mountains and actual beaches, but the cost of living is extremely bad. In my house hold getting a month or 2 worth of groceries cost easily a minimum of $600 for 3 people."
"A small 3 bedroom house goes for half a mil."
"Being a local the food, family, and friends are really the only reasons why I would keep living here... that's if I can afford it."
- Russt8
Sex Work Isn't The Only Job
"I used to live in Bangkok, Thailand."
"Not all Thai women are prostitutes and easy. In fact, they're pretty conservative and preserved."
"Most of female millennials are educated white collar workers. And we're more into Korean or Japanese culture/people than the western. Everyday BKK women won't approach men first because it's a big NO NO unless they're from certain areas."
"Those who work in sex industry come from the poor parts of Thailand or near by countries where there're not many job opportunities."
- drinkmypotion
Spoken Like A True New Yorker
"Time Square is garabage."
"If I even have to go into the 42nd street train station my day is just ruined. Also on new years or any holiday I can't even go into the city because the trains are so backed up."
"Speaking of the trains, unless you live in Manhattan or a really gentrified part of BK or Queens the trains dont even work half the time."
"They claim that they are fixing the mta but the trains from the 6 line are the same as they where I'm the 90s. But yeah screw Time Square."
- LibbyUghh
Only Hillbilly Is a Hillbilly
"Appalachian tourist destinations."
"Unless stuff in the giftshops is advertised as locally made, you can get it in bulk for cheaper off the Internet, because that's totally where the boss did. And the locally made stuff is sometimes nice, sometimes makes you miss Regretsy."
"The food stuff, check the labels."
"No, the locals do not like to be called hillbillies, except Hillbilly who owns Hillbilly's Junkyard, and he is a character, let me tell you."
"Yes, we genuinely are this friendly and really do like to talk with strangers this much, but it comes from either the terrifying isolation of deeply insular small towns where everyone knows everyone else's business or being a transplant who has to drive three solid hours to so much as a decent-sized Costco."
"Some of the kids get backpacks full of food every Friday from volunteers at the schools because even if their folks had the money for groceries, they might not also have the hour and back's worth of gas to get them that week from the nearest store."
"No, we are not paid a living wage at this tourist site. Incidentally; management is a family and doesn't understand why $8/hr isn't enough to live on."
"When I lived there, I had four jobs and the two that were tourism-related were purely to stave off the boredom and have an excuse to see people."
"But if you go about four, maybe five hours that way, depending on the traffic, it's our nation's capital, so...yeah."
- spiderqueendemon
Only Good Thing About Mardi Gras
"New Orleans.Is.Way.More.Than.Bourbon.Street."
"Also, it’s never really okay to puke and piss all over a place. Stop doing it! No respect."
"The only good thing about Mardi Gras is all the tourists congregate around Bourbon and leave the wonderful traditions to the rest of us."
- bloodybutunbowed
"New Orleans."
"Seriously, just visit us outside of Mardi Gras."
"It's a crowded cesspool during Mardi Gras season. We know how to entertain you all year, but the city isn't a nonstop drunk party all year long."
"The cajuns don't really live in New Orleans...many of the accents in the city sound closer to a Jersey/Brooklyn accent."
"Also, the people working in tourism use 'Nawlins' because you're expecting it. None of us refer to the city that way...a thick accent pulls off maybe a 'Nu'ahlehns' at the worst."
- ghintziest
Don't Make My Job Harder
"Banff, Canada"
"The bears aren't friendly, if you feed them, they will come back."
"All deer are not Bambi, they will hurt you."
"Cougars are not kitty cats, you look like a nice steak dinner to them."
"Don't go hiking or skiing in the back country if you aren't prepared. You make my job as a search & rescuer hard when you make stupid decisions like that."
"Yes snow may be fun for 2 or 3 days of your trip, but from September to July, it gets dull fast."
"Am I salty about tourists? You bet."
- masterroadtripper
Sipping Coconuts
"I live in the Caribbean and a lot of people (foreigners) seem to think in my island we live by the sea sipping coconuts all day."
"In reality my country is struggling."
"We had a hurricane like 3 yrs ago and people still live in sh*t (the government has helped a lot of people with housing to be fair) The man in power may or may not have stole like 1.5 billion dollars, this led to a major protest the other day and election is coming soon so yay more drama."
"In other words the Caribbean is not a heavenly get away where nothing bad happens."
"Speaking of bad things, as a random side note" if you take a trip to any Caribbean island rape, robbery especially of white tourists (not really a race thing but a lot of people falsely think they are rich cus white skin) and human trafficking are a very real problem stay safe guys."
- [Reddit]
No Tacos
"I used to live in Madrid, Spain."
"I usually avoided tourists in the city because of how loud they are."
"The most irritating thing I find is how they think that taking high school Spanish is equivalent to the Spanish we speak in Spain. (Just of everyone to know we speak Castilian Spanish)."
"Another thing, we don't eat tacos and burritos; that's Mexican food. Sorry to disappoint but Mexico and Spain are two different countries with two different dialects and cultures."
- SWAGalaga1
It's one thing to visit a tourist hotspot and quite another to live there year round. These are some eyeopening experiences.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Until we're in a situation, we'll never really know how we'll react.
I have been in this scenario, though.
Sex matters. And people rarely want to admit how much.
But sex isn't a lifetime guarantee.
It fades, as does love.
It's important to speak about it.
It can be a fixable situation.
A relationship without sex may not be the end of the world, but it's definitely a sign that something is off.
Redditor Deviant55 wanted to talk about physical intimacy in relationships, so they asked:
"How important is sex to you in a relationship? Could you be with someone you love even if sex was off the table indefinitely?"
I learned how much sex matters in my last relationship.
Once I wasn't interested, it kind of killed everything.
Forever
"When my wife of 30+ years became too ill for sex to be even remotely interesting for her, I certainly did not end the relationship. I loved her and I took care of her until she died. No other course even occurred to me."
fvillion
Frustration
"When I met my wife we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. This lasted a few years. I was in my mid-twenties when we married. She developed a chronic medical issue. I’ve gone twenty years being sexually frustrated. There are stages and phases to this."
"What I came to realize is that I love my wife. Yes, sex is important in our relationship. But I would rather have her in my life with no sex than have sex without her."
"The thing is, I love her. She can’t help her situation. I can’t help it. One deals with it. Marriage is more than sex. It is building a life and memories, raising a family, and loving each other regardless of the challenges life throws our way. But sex is very important. It helps keep the closeness and the emotional bond. But it isn’t the only thing that does that."
QuietusNoctis
I Love Her
"It is complicated. I am in a near-sexless marriage. The wife needs antidepressants to function. And it kills her libido. So usually it is four to six times a year. My libido rages. And yeah, it sucks. I dream of more sex."
"But I love the chick. She loves me to the moon and back. I’m not willing to sacrifice her love so I can try dating again. Divorce rates these days? And I found a woman who more than tolerates me, she loves me. I’ll stay. And not to be crude but yeah I masturbate. A lot. She doesn’t begrudge me that. Occasionally she even encourages it."
"She went off her meds for a while. And man did we do it. But she was a mess. I need her healthy more than I need a shag. We travel together. We enjoy each other’s company. We actually like each other. I could claim that it is hell, but I choose to see all of the good I am blessed with."
painthawg_goose
Heartless
"Quite important. But I think it depends on where you are in the relationship. I've been married for 10 years. I have kids. If my wife suddenly couldn't have sex with me for some reason -- illness or injury or something -- I'm not divorcing her over it. That's heartless."
"Now, if she just decided we weren't ever having sex again because she didn't feel like it, that'd be different. Or if I was just starting to date someone and they told me they'd never have sex, I probably just wouldn't keep pursuing the relationship. Plenty of people out there who will."
Arkhangelzk
Necessity
"It depends on the circumstances. I LOVE doing it with my man but I love his heart and soul more. If we had to stop having sex for medical reasons or something I’d definitely stay with him and stay faithful. If I was single, I think it’s unlikely I’d start a new relationship knowing it would be sex free."
Fit_Technology8240
Heart and soul is just as necessary and hot and sweaty.
At least a lot of people recognize that.
Percentages
"Sex life is 10% of a relationship when it’s good and 90% of a relationship when it’s bad."
jakovichontwitch
"The other way I've heard it put is that sex is like the bathroom in your house. It's not the only reason you bought the house, but if it's not working it's a big problem."
molten_dragon
Age Related
"50-year-old here married for 27 years. It’s not important. It was important when we were younger but honestly, if sex wasn’t possible I would still love my wife and really nothing about our day would really change."
Kantforall
"I’ve been reading these comments and wishing that everyone’s age was flared on their post because I sense that there are a lot of under-60-year-olds. I am older than my wife but she is starting menopause and I can see the writing on the wall. Not super thrilled but I love her completely and understand. The real intimacy is in how we still (and will always) want to sleep touching each other and waking up next to each other."
caffeinated-hijinx
Kiss Me
"I honestly considered this before. I absolutely adored this guy. It was like a child relationship; we'd kiss and cuddle and hold hands and things, but he wouldn't have sex with me, nor would he commit properly. Any time we came close to sex, he'd go soft or back off."
"I couldn't understand it, wondered if I could keep doing that. My sex drive was wild. Why kiss and the rest but not sex?"
"Then one day he told me he was in love with me and asked me out properly. I said yes there and then, had a wonderful day with him, but when I went home, I was left questioning if I could possibly live without sex. I decided that yeah, I loved him but it would be tough."
"We had sex the next day. So yes, I think I probably could."
Adventurous_Train_48
Touchy/affectionate...
"It's very important. I'm a very affectionate and physical person and touch/caresses and anything physical is one of my love languages. I couldn't function with someone who is the opposite of me or who's uncomfortable with how I am. I already was in a relationship with someone who wasn't that touchy/affectionate and it created frustration for both of us."
Borboleta77
Don't Look at Me
"I am in a sexless relationship. He has erectile dysfunction and I really don't like sex in general. I'm really uncomfortable naked or even vulnerable. I'm shy around him despite the relationship being 10 years nearly, I'm even shy around my family and friends. Everything about sex makes me feel so embarrassed, and I feel nothing but negative feelings when I used to be sexually active. Not through choice of partner, I just hate that sort of attention."
NucularOrchid
Definitive!
"10/10. Sexual incompatibility is a deal breaker!"
oeeiae
Sex is important but not everything.
Until it is everything if it becomes an issue.
Good luck couples. Open and honest communication is key.
An important contributor to our overall health and happiness is the quality of our friendships.
We may not have a lot of friends, but the more important factor is the depth of those relationships.
But we've all had one of those friends who turned out not to be a very good friend at all.
Redditor Both-Support-7110 asked:
"When did you realize your 'friends' were just a**holes?"
Putting Them Down
"After I realized that other people don't s**t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."
- fobopi9445
"I luckily made a couple of friends that would just be supportive about stuff. So I slowly started talking to them more than my older friends as I saw the disparity between their responses."
"One side purely would be purely judgmental and try and bring me down, and the other would just be excited for me or be there to listen or whatever. Who wants to talk to the former when you have the latter?"
- Universeintheflesh
Using Them as a Convenience
"They only bothered with me when it suited them. I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."
- fobopi9445
Trying to Keep Them Small
"When they were nice at first but then cut me out of conversations, telling me not to 'butt in.' A friend doesn't dictate when you're allowed to speak."
- leatherwolf89
"Total a**hole move to have conversations in front of you only to tell you it doesn’t concern you and mean it. . . Like making plans and giving details about how someone like you could be included but specifically telling you not to invite yourself; making plans in front of someone and not inviting them is awful."
- dearlysacredherosoul
Using Them as Entertainment
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions (telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc), and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly. One night, I was crying on the phone because I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bulls**t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day, they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call because I didn't get it and I was so upset. I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."
- vixayib976
Using Them to Feel Superior
"I didn't have many friends in grade school, but the times the kids actually gave me the time of day, it was to make me 'it' when we'd play tag. That's what I was there for. To continuously be 'it' so they could run away and feel superior. Because they knew I would agree to it no matter what."
- lunayoshi
Having Questionable Morals
"I had a friend that was a very promiscuous girl, I had no issue with that, until I found out she was using me and my innocent personality then, to distract her mom and make her think she was like me."
"Then she used my house as a literal hotel once, with my family here and everything... I knew that was it."
- luffve
Making Fun of Them
"When I made new friends and realized that it's not normal for friends to constantly beat on me and make fun of me."
- vatonef494
Prioritizing Money Over Them
"When they stopped being my friends after I went through a rough financial patch."
- fobopi9445
Becoming Flaky
"I had a group that I was in from 2019-2021. They became a**holes over time, and it took me longer to see that. It was when I failed my psych 101 class (I'm not the best with online classes and tried the best I could) and when they heard about that, they laughed to my face, called me stupid and a failure."
"Early 2022, I met up with them again thinking it would just be a 'listen to this concert for someone we all know and go on our ways' thing."
"My one closer friend offered to drive me and I accepted, and then afterward she joined the group, made eye contact after the concert was done and said, 'bye,' and left with them to the doors. They doubled back and said, 'You can come with us to another town to a friend's place or I can get my mom to drive you home.'"
"I was so overwhelmed and embarrassed that I just went with them to the other town. I called my brother to come to pick me up after an hour, and when he was on his way out, everyone else left. Haven't been into contact with them again after that."
- shortedgyasain
Disappearing When It Counts
"They pretty much abandoned me in a time of pretty intense need. It solidified my decision to leave the area and go do something worthwhile."
- verisimilitu
No Reciprocation Allowed
"When he does s**t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, but then I do the same back, and he gets offended."
- vatonef494
Excluding Them From Plans
"I've got two examples here. One from childhood and one from adulthood. Pick your favorite."
"Childhood: Kid I knew when I was 8 or so. We used to hang out a lot of the time and often played together, doing the usual kid stuff. Then one day, he has to move away because of a change in his parent's financial situation and I was pretty bummed out about it."
"On the last day we were supposed to see each other, he hung out with someone else instead and when tried to join them, he physically shoved me away and told me I wasn't welcome. That one stung."
"Adulthood: When they keep telling me about plans they made and things they did together or wanted to do together, but never bother to invite or include me in any of it. There's one of them I get along with and he'll invite me to things as long as it's just with him, but when he's with the group, he excludes me."
"I remember one example in particular where they were discussing a new site to do some photography and they fell short a man. One of them looks at me like I'm the spare tire in his car and goes: 'I guess you can come with us this one time.', to which another replies: 'Nah, he doesn't want to go. He doesn't like photography.'"
"I told him I was perfectly capable of answering for myself and didn't need him to act as my answering machine, but it lost a lot of impact because he was right. I don't like photography and didn't want to go. I just didn't like being talked about that way."
"Good luck making that clear to them, though. All they heard was: 'If he was right anyway, then why are you b*tching about it?'"
"I no longer hang out with them. I eventually got sick of being treated like the spare guy they can use in case none of the 'main crew' was attending, so I dropped them."
- Kuliari
Terrible Priorities
"In 2006, my then-best friend wanted to go to a big German metal festival. I did not want to go because my Dad had end-stage cancer."
"Dad died on August 8th, a couple of days after my friend returned from the festival. I called him because I needed someone to talk to."
"He very bluntly stated that he had no interest in my Dad's passing but wanted to tell me how great the festival was."
"You can't imagine how disappointed I was. For years, I'd been there for him whenever he got dumped, and the one time I needed a friend, he wasn't there for me. I told him to shut my door from the outside and lose my number."
- fobopi9445
Undesirable Behaviors
"I was 15, we were hanging out in the alleyway behind my friend’s house as we did almost every day after school."
"One girl was there from the year above us and they started prank calling the child protective services emergency line, pretending to be a child in distress, and they all laughed."
"After a few rounds of this, I felt queasy and left. Never hung out with them again. I still feel bad for not saying something or putting a stop to it, but the girl was older and 'cool.'"
- Brasscogs
Taking Advantage of Them
"I've been posting on him recently, he was my former neighbor and friend. We didn't immediately hit it off but after a while, we became good friends."
"I tried helping him out (he's an unemployed single dad of two special needs kids). He eventually saw my kindness as something to take advantage of, so late last fall, he either broke into my house (or enabled someone else to do it for him) and stole money from me."
"When I confronted him about this, he physically attacked me."
"I can't say it doesn't hurt."
- llcucf80
Friendships are incredibly important, but we're unfortunately not meant to be friends with everyone. Some people simply do not turn out to be the friends we thought they were.
We may know that this happens, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
No one wants to be alone.
But that doesn't mean we should settle when it comes to choosing a romantic partner.
When people rush into things without letting love flourish, it could lead to problems down the line that can inevitably lead to difficult breakups.
Those who've learned this the hard way shared their experiences with love when Redditorlastknownstar asked:
"What common mistakes do people make when choosing a life partner?"
Communication is key.
Discussing Life Issues
"Not discussing big life issues: your preference for having kids, parenting styles, deep religious beliefs, career aspirations, significant traumas…anything that may affect how you make decisions together later on."
– AwkwardFortuneCookie
Outdated Notions
"My parents were like this. Dad grew up in a standard midcentury 'men run the house, women stay in the kitchen' family, but Mom came from a long line of domineering southern matriarchs who had their husbands whipped. Dad was naturally a good cook and Mom hated cooking, but once they got married, Dad insisted she make all the food because that's what wives are supposed to do. No warning, total 180 on their relationship up to that point."
"He's learned his lesson and now happily cooks for my stepmom, but man... That's not something you can just spring on your new spouse overnight!"
– shebbsquids
What About Kids
"Having kids is a really big question that absolutely needs to be communicated. I've also heard that it's a topic that would make the man a big red flag if asked early into the 'relationship' as in first date and/or texts are off limits."
"Wouldnt it be a lot nicer to 'speed date' these big topics early on?"
– Leaping_Turtle
These Redditors realized ignorance of financial responsibility in a relationship came at a cost.
Finances
"Finance is the number 1 leading cause of divorce."
"Edit: this popped up in my YouTube recommendation (Is your relationship struggling because of finance? - Dave Ramsey https://youtu.be/XuU7oabGqjk). Google is not monitoring us or anything"
– strangemanornot
Spending Habits
"This is such a big issue in relationships. Knowing each other's spending habits is equally important. My ex would be extremely judgmental when it came to my 'fun money', but when he bought a new TV or a new gaming console, he was not to be questioned on it."
– RewardNo3000
You can't change people.
Fixing Their Flaws
"Thinking, 'I know this person has flaws, but when we're married I can help fix them.'"
– DoctorExtra9060
"Ok marriage isn’t working but if we have kids things will change because it will bring us closer."
– Mrepman81
Parasitic Love
"I personally had this issue dating someone who was as sweet as could be, but not the brightest bulb in the socket, and they relied on me for knowledge on everything from health to history to housework. All perfectly googleable or troubleshootable questions, but always defaulted to giving up and asking mommy the girlfriend for help. Admittedly it was kind of an ego boost to have someone always telling me how smart I was and deferring to my judgement on everything, but that's not what a healthy romantic relationship should be like."
"I thought I could nudge them gently into being slightly more self sufficient, but it only got worse as they grew accustomed to relying on me for every little thing. And of course the flip side was I felt like I could never rely on them when I needed help... I knew I was SOL if I couldn't do everything myself, because I was dragging around a parasite instead of a partner."
"Next time I want to spend years working on a fixer-upper, I'm just going to buy a crumbling Victorian house. It'll cause me less stress in the long run."
– shebbsquids
Taking An Emotional Toll
"I was in a similar boat with an ex, wasn't so much her fault as she had a learning disability and epilepsy."
"Every other weekend we also looked after her kids from past relationships, one of which had autism, and due to my ex's condition she wasn't allowed to be on her own with the kids meaning I had to be there as the capable, responsible adult."
"We were together for just shy of 4 years."
"After she broke things off it took a good few months for me to get used to the fact that I could actually let my guard down, switch my brain off and relax. Without needing to constantly worry that someone would need my help or that I needed to ensure her safety."
"She didn't quite realise the toll it was having on me or the amount of responsibility was on my shoulders. She would constantly suggest things like holidays abroad with just us two and the kids, and all I could think was that it would be far from a relaxing holiday for me as I'd have her and two kids to look after and be responsible for the entire time."
– ShadowSurgeGaming
Managing expectations is key.
Never Settle
"Choosing someone they think they should be with instead of someone they're actually compatible with."
"I feel a lot of people have a picture in their head of who they think they'll end up with and chase that ideal, instead of acknowledging their own personality and aiming for someone compatible with that. Easier said than done, but yeah."
– Viminia7 ·
Importance Of Value
"I talk with my partner about this all the time. We think its important to have shared values not shared interests."
"Yes it’s important to share things you both like to do, but just because your partner likes One Punch Man, like you do, doesn’t mean they are on the same page as you with resolving conflicts."
– scsm
Elvis Presley reminded us that only fools rush in, despite his intense romantic feelings towards his object of affection.
But the wise men he was referring to were on to something.
It's best to ease into things and let love grow, and not force relationships without really getting to know the person with whom you plan to devote yourself to.
If it's meant to be, it'll be worth taking things slow by getting to know a prospective significant other's dreams, what makes them, and their values to see if there is enough chemistry to develop meaningful relationships.
Among the many reasons people watch, and rewatch, sitcoms is to imagine your life was more like the one you were watching.
Being able to afford a two-bedroom apartment in Greenwich Village on a line cook's salary, somehow always having the comfortable sofa available at your favorite coffee shop whenever you pop in, or having your best friends always available at your beck and call whenever you need them.
For the romantics, however, it's wishing you could have a romance like you've seen on television.
True not all sitcom romances are exactly the sort that makes you go all aflutter (Were Ross and Rachel actually on a break? And don't even get me started about Ted and Robin.)
Other sitcom couples are so captivating, though, that we would have given anything to be at their wedding... or at the very least go to their home for dinner every Friday.
And this includes plutonic couples, as there is nothing more heartwarming than a lasting friendship.
"What is the best couple in sitcom history?"
Creating An Even More Welcoming Community
"Troy and Abed. A couple of friends."- aghzombies
"They did grace the cover of Best Friends Weekly."- DwightsEgo
Sorry Amy...
"Peralta and Doug Judy."- DavosLostFingers
"Reunited and it feels so good 🎶."- Ghostenx
"PSYCH"!... No, Seriously...
"Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster."- dazedcap
"'I'm Black, he's Tan'."- CrueGuyRob
"Snap, Snap."
"The correct answer is Gomez and Morticia Addams."- Reddit
"They loved each other dearly. "
"They were completely enamored with each other, spent time with their kids, their family."
"Accepted everyone as they were."
"It wasn't til I was an adult That I realized married couples weren't meant to hate each other."
"My mother had many partners in my childhood, she's toxic and things were always chaotic."
"And watching 90s sitcoms, I thought married people were meant to hate each other, and I always wondered what the point was."- MissMurder8666
Overshadowed By Their Middle Child...
"Hal and Lois."- MrRocketman999
"As a husband, I don't think I can live up to Hal."
"He sort of sets a really high standard lol."
"He loves her like they are still in the honeymoon phase."
"So infatuated with her lol."- treathugger
A Better Couple? Many Would Say, "Knope"...
"Ben and Leslie."
"I' love you and I like you.'"
"Simple line, yet so powerful."- Radkeyoo
"Gruesome", But Adorable
"Frank and Charlie from Always Sunny in Philadelphia."
"The gruesome twosome."- Herr_Poopypants
The Parents Everyone Wished Were Theirs...
"Bob and Linda from 'Bobs burgers'."- shashybaws
"All of the Belchers have such great relationships with each other. "
"They're wholly accepting and supportive (even if they disagree)."
"They really love each other, and it shows."- SummerOfMayhem
UK Version Only, Of Course...
"Moss and Roy (The IT Crowd)."- pentapotamia
"'I'm your wife, Roy!'"- Summerof5ft6andahalf
"'If anything, I’m the husband!'"- pentapotamia
Afterlife Be Damned... Or not, Actually...
"Eleanor and Chidi from 'The Good Place.'"
"How can you beat two deeply flawed people who together make each other better over and over again?"- hotbimess
Ruining All Food For Viewers, One Food Group At A Time...
"The only correct answer is - Scully and Hitchcock."- Prestigious-Net-2236
"Back off! It's our microwave! Ours! GRRRRRRR!"- Lvcivs2311
Nostalgic And Wonderful
"Kitty and Red from That 70s/90s Show."- saginator5000
"I like how Red on the surface seems like a mean parent who doesn’t let his kids have fun."
"But he’s watching out for his kids."
"And he’s a good man."
"He has a hard and stressful time supporting his family and he is grumpy sometimes but he would do anything for his family and he really loves them."
"What he does for Hyde is amazing."
"He just doesn’t put up with BS."- themanfromvulcan
It Seems Everyone Is Better With Turk At Their Side
"Turk and Carla."
"Or Turk and JD. (Scrubs)."- JCBAwesomist
"Turk and JD all the way."- nunyabidnez76
Can't We Get Back What We Once Had?...
"Homer and Marge had a lot of beautiful moments back in the older seasons."
"Sadly, seasonal rot has ruined a lot of that."
"I miss a lot of how the characters used to be."
"Like, Homer was an oaf and a brute, but he loved his family immensely and deeply and would (and DID) do any and everything for them."
"He'd catch details like in that episode about the streetcar play that you wouldn't think he would."
"He gave up beer for a month for Marge and we got to see that, for him, it wasn't just a minor thing."
'Lisa might have been intelligent but she not only had ample 'dumb/shallow' moments, she also was very close to Bart and, likewise, Bart was close to her."
"He might struggle in school but he also showed he wasn't dumb either."- Snowtwo
Be they married in the first episode or on and off again for an insufferable amount of time (looking at you, Jeanine and Gregory in Abbott Elementry!), sitcom couples give us people to root for and fill our own hearts with hope.
So much so that we don't mind following the arc of their love stories over and over again.
And yes, the episode where David meets Patrick's parents remains a tearjerker, no matter how many times you watch it.