When families come together with the union of two people in love, the goal is for everyone to get along and have their days be filled with endless laughter and rainbows.
Is that too much to ask? Apparently, it is.
Personality clashes are inevitable and further complicated with in-laws having opposing political beliefs and objections to lifestyles.
But in order for there to be civility at family dinners, there must be reconciliations and comporomises.
Curious to hear about the experiences of strangers on the internet, Redditor RealityWanderer asked:
"Mother-In-Laws of Reddit, in the interest of fairness, what are your crazy daughter-in-law stories?"
Circumstances can be a factor distancing mothers from their DILs. These mothers had to contend with daughters-in-law who were drug addicts.
One DIL found another hobby, while another DIL committed an unimaginable crime.
"When I first met her, she was a tweaker, she knew I knew and she hated me. Now she stays home and knits and crafts and I have not seen my grandson in 3 years. She still hates me."
A Tragic End
"We lived on the other side of the country from them so we didn't have many visits -- one or two a year. When we visited, all was well -- the house was clean, the kids were cared for, etc. She was fun to be around."
"However, once we left, life went back to 'normal' for my son and grandkids. She would say she was going to the store and would not come home for 2 to 4 days. She did drugs. She did not clean -- anything. My son traveled for business and when he was gone she had many different men in the house. He would come home to a trashed house, trashed car, trashed everything. She would put the kids to bed, then leave to party. She kept the two oldest kids home from school when he traveled -- she was too busy sleeping from partying all night to take them to school. As he was making plans to leave her and take the kids, she killed the youngest child and is now in jail awaiting trial. all of this came out after she died. I wish they had never met."
Although the Original Poster (OP) specifically asked for mothers to share stories concerning their daughters-in-law, other family perspectives were shared.
While some in-laws were willing to find common ground to improve strained relationships, these Redditors experienced situations where their in-laws could not be bothered..
"My sister experienced it when she lived with my SIL and brother."
"SIL had a very particular way of doing things. So she told my sister to not do anything because SIL had an order. Dishes? Nope, leave it in the sink. Cleaning? Nope, you're not doing it my way. So as my SIL said, my sister didnt touch any cleaning. Then SIL got upset my sister didnt clean. Made a power point presentation on everything my sister did wrong. These presentations would last a minimum of 20 minutes and up to an hour or so. My sister was confused because when she did help, she was told she was doing it wrong and SIL told her to stop. Now that she stopped, SIL is mad my sister isnt helping."
"My sister isnt dirty by any means, she knows how to clean up. It just wasnt being done the way SIL wanted it to be done. My sister had to sit through multiple presentations when she lived with them."
Like Oil And Water
"My MIL has a very rocky relationship with one of her Daughters in law. There are a few of us. This one time this particular DIL (with a rocky relationship) had started 'being nice' to our MIL by going to lunch with her and giving her advice on how to change annoying aspects of her personality. This lasted for a couple of months. Finally the DIL had an absolute rage session and started screaming at the MIL saying how she could no longer be part of this ruse and that all her attempts at being friendly and trying to changing the MIL's personality was pointless because the MIL was too stupid. To this day they don't get along and family gatherings are always super uncomfortable. This of course is from my POV so I can't say for certain what was actually going on in either of their heads, but there you have it."
"My dil decided , after years of manipulating my son , to walk out on him and their two kids. A few hours later she changes her mind and bombards him with all kinds of crap for a week. And then she gains access to the house when he's out and changes the locks causing him and their two young kids to be homeless. She sucks!"
A Different Perspective
After comments reflecting the point of view from mothers, daughter-in-laws weighed in with their experiences.
"DIL here. My husband and his mom have had a strained relationship due to politics the last few years, but a little over a year ago I got a DUI. It was a supreme f'k up on my part, and I take full responsibility. I made stupid choices. Hence the throwaway."
"Anyway, my husband gets the call that I'm getting arrested, and he chose in the moment to call his mom to help, versus my mom. My mom is super chill and a good woman in a crisis and was arguably the more pragmatic choice, but I think he just needed his mom, understandably."
"So he calls his mom to come watch our kid while he figures out bail and picking me up and all that. I'll never forget coming home at like 4 am feeling so embarrassed and overwhelmed and she was there, arms wide open to accept and comfort me. This diminutive church going Southern mama grabbed me and held my atheist, f'k up a** for what seemed like an eternity, but in a good way. Like all her natural mom energy was passing through me."
"We may not agree on most things, but I'll never forget how loved she made me feel at my lowest, without judgment or pretense. I hear horror stories about in-laws and I think how lucky I am."
"Edit: thanks everyone for the kind comments and awards! Please please please call an Uber or cab or friend before drinking and driving, even if you think you're ok. Make a plan before you go out. Believe me, you don't want to go through this."
"My MIL surprised me in a similar way. She's a hardcore Fox News-watching conservative."
"My sister-in-law is married to a trans man, though he hadn't transitioned when they met or started their relationship. They never really officially started dating - just kind of went from friends to more than friends - and my SIL hadn't come out, so there were some vaguely homophobic comments/jokes from both MIL and FIL about their relationship at first, but they died down."
"I was really worried when we found out about brother-in-law's transition because I didn't know how MIL would react, but she was surprisingly supportive. She made an effort to use the right pronouns and name, and while it was a bit shaky at first (I was the only one able to consistently remember correct pronouns and name the first couple times we all got together), it's gone much better than I'd feared."
"Hard Taking Sides"
"For me, a MIL it's kind of a reverse heartbreak because I loved my DIL and we got on very well. She's from a semi-abusive background and at first had issues with drugs but dealt with that and became an excellent mother."
"Now they are separated, at her instigation, Son is devastated, and although I don't believe in taking sides it's hard to go past her decision to break up the family because that she has to 'find herself'. I'm just not coping as we had been a very close extended family."
"Not a matter of abuse, addiction, cheating, or even close."
"I was the sh**ty DIL, we married young and she would try to help a little too much. I would feel suffocated with her and felt like she was judging everything I did. 4-5 years later I realized she was just trying what she thought was best for us and we now have the best relationship."
It was found that mothers-in-law seemed to view the daughter-in-law more positively than vice versa.
Geoffrey Greif – a professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work and co-author of In-law Relationships: Mothers, Daughters, Fathers, and Sons – told Today the mothers perspecitve was based on wishful thinking.
"You go into this relationship assuming the best and not assuming the worst — that's a form of wishful thinking," he said.
"I think that's a really good and positive thing. Mothers-in-law really want to make this work."
However, tensions arise when mothers interfere with parenting, as more than half of daughters-in-law did not share the same parental philosphies with their mothers-in-law.
Sometimes the things that come out of peoples' mouths are truly astounding. It makes you wonder, where did things go wrong? Why are they like this? As Forrest Gump once said, “stupid is as stupid does".
Here are a few of the most jaw-dropping lay stupid things that have been said by actual human beings. Not aliens trying to figure out how humans communicate--ACTUAL human beings. Thanks, Reddit.
First up, what better people to hear ridiculous claims from than children? Here are some people that even teachers couldn’t help.
Well, that’s awkward.
I was in 5th grade like 20 years ago, and I am a male which is important later. My school changed an extra girls locker room into a computer lab. When my class got to go check it out, I say "wow, it looks so different!".
Everyone looks at me like I'm a creep. What I meant to say was "wow it looks so different that the boys locker room!" I still think about this when trying to fall asleep more often than I'm comfortable with.
....no. No it’s not.War Guy GIF Giphy
In my Spanish class where they were talking about Spanish countries
"What about Syria...isn't Syria Spanish?"
Worst part... NOBODY called her out on it to the point I was questioning myself. The professor had good English but it wasn't her first language and she dodged her question saying she's only going over countries in south america. I had to literally write myself a note that she literally asked that question. Then I got paired up with her like 10 minutes later for a group activity and I still wasn't over this question lol
Fake but also real but also demonic?
A kid in high school tried to convince me that men had an extra rib and that the earth is only a few thousand years old. Same kid said that ouija boards were full of magnets and gears which made them fake, yet they were simultaneously completely real and needed to be burned on sight to prevent demonic possession.
But sometimes it’s the parents of children who say the dumb stuff.
Back in 2014 I still vividly remember we were eating dinner, and my brother is chewing with his mouth open while my sister is talking. My dad, still thinking about her talking but talking to my brother said "Talk with your mouth closed." and my sister just went silent immediately.
Stupid can turn into ignorant really quickly. Here are a few examples of the not-so-harmless kind of dumb statements.
Fun fact: they don’t use the US Constitution in New Zealand. Who knew?angela rye guns GIF by Third Rail with OZY Giphy
After the church shooting in New Zealand, they banned guns. My coworker said that they can't do that since it violates the second amendment. We live in California.
Everyone knows New Zealand is the state below New Canada.
Uhhhhh that’s racist af.
Not to me but my husband.
He had to take an uber home from the Naval Base in San Diego (car was getting fixed) and the guy who picked my husband up was from Pakistan and they had small talk, telling him how he moved over here etc, dude was pretty cool.
My dumbass half sister whom we were staying with for a bit told him straight to his face, "Oh since you're military he probably wanted to like... murder you."
...What a f*cking ignorant, racist thing to say.
Just gonna leave this one here....
"And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside, because you see it gets in the lungs, so it would be interesting to check that out."
Well that’s a new one.
A trans friend got "You're registered as a man here, so I need to hear a male voice to complete the verification of your acount."
Not the first time the cable company pulled this 'female' account 'female' voice / 'male' account 'male' voice crap. But that one time was on a whole other level.
But most of the time, dumb statements are harmless, and make for a good story down the line.
I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face either.alvin and the chipmunks GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment Giphy
A few questions I've heard come to mind, I'm not sure which is the best/worst.
A few years ago my mom, in her 60s at the time, asked me if chipmunks grow up to be squirrels. Have you ever tried to keep a straight face while explaining to the grown-ass woman who was responsible for keeping you alive for ~18 years that chipmunks and squirrels are different animals?
In high school during a Spanish class as student asked "Do Spanish-speaking people think in Spanish?" After being told yes, her follow-up question was "Are they born speaking Spanish?" The teacher kept a straight face explaining that foreign language speakers learn their language the same as the student learned English, but there were a lot of other students laughing and brutally mocking her.
Ah yes, the two types of guitars.
Dumbest thing I ever asked was, "do you prefer playing electric or air guitar?" I really meant to say acoustic, like my dad's.
Air guitar. I don't know how to play the acoustic or electric guitars, but I never get a wrong note on the air guitar.
Did you change your birthday?
At the bank.
Teller: Is your phone number still 123-4567?
T: Is your address still 123 Easy st?
T: Is your birthday still 01/01/2000?
M: laughing I sure as hell hope so
I can't even make fun of these. One time I asked my husband where the Newport Ferry sailed to.
I think we all have slip-ups in our brains sometimes. It's part of being human, and hey, they stay alive as inside jokes for generations to come
If you want to be ready when an emergency strikes--or isn't far away--it's so important to have a developed foundation of preparedness.
In the midst of a sudden crisis, blood pumping and heart racing, devising what to do out of the blue is just about impossible.
But if you've studied ahead of time, and even practiced if you're really good, you won't have to devise anything. You'll just act. And you'll act correctly.
Don't Count Anybody Out<p>"If people stumble for no reason and sound drunk but haven't had alcohol, ask them to smile. If it looks weird/ one side is drooping, get them to a hospital ASAP. High chance it is a stroke."</p><p>"Plus people of every age can have a stroke."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/goc5mux?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Zuckerschneggle</a></p>
Know What to Look For<p>"The symptoms of a heart attack are slightly different for men and women. This is one of the reasons women sometimes get diagnosed too late."</p><p>"Men: Cold sweat/ nausea; Chest pressure/pain; Shortness of breath; Pain in arm(s), back, neck, jaws, stomach"</p><p>"Women: Fainting/ extreme fatigue; Chest pressure; Shortness of breath; Upper back pressure; Light-headedness/ dizziness; Pain in arm(s), back, neck, jaws, stomach"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/goci0x2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Veni_Vici-Vetinari</a></p>
YOU WILL NOT GET IN TROUBLE<p>"If you are taken to the hospital and the doctors ask you if you have taken any drugs don't just think about the illegal stuff also tell them if you've had small things like Advil or Tylenol it could save your life." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/gocncvh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Atomicwaffle117</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Frankly this needs to taught in schools. I've known people who took stuff and didn't tell the doctor's, they either went into withdraw which prolonged there stay, or the doctor's have them stuff which interacted with drugs and they nearly died cause of it" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/gocqenr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">xxluisvrewxx</a></p>
Warning Signs<p>"If your vomit looks like coffee grounds, you may have internal bleeding. Head straight to the hospital." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/goc0diy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Long-Cupcake</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Additionally, this kind of internal bleeding is further down the digestive tract and has a higher chance of being a more serious issue."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"coffee grounds means that the blood has been digested by your stomach. if it was just a tear in your mouth or esophagus (like from vomiting too much) it would be bright red." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/gocsn62?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">elaerna</a></p>
Get Low<p>"Crawl out of a burning building, breathing as close as possible to the floor as you move."</p><p>"Toxic smoke rises while air remains more breathable nearest the floor."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/goc9phy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a> </p>
Not Over Yet<p>"There's something that's called gasping. It's the fake breathing that occurs when you're performing CPR on someone that has water in his lungs (i.e. because of drowning). It looks like a fish that's trying to breath when it's out of water."</p><p>"The person is not back alive then, and you should not stop the CPR."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/goc4dy0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SilverStory4502</a></p>
Quarterback the Response<p>"In an emergency around any other people, be intentional and specific with people. Do not shout into the void 'someone call for help!!!' "</p><p>"Make eye contact with someone, make sure they know you are talking to them, tell them what you need: 'Sir in the blue shirt. Call an ambulance.' 'Ma'am with the green jacket, go ask the barista for a clean towel.' 'You with the hockey mask and machete, watch this baby!' "</p><p>"Studies have shown that the assumption that someone else will do something is ingrained within people and often they will not help without specifically being talked to."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/gocr6es?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Goosfrabbah</a></p>
Deprive the Oxygen<p>"Don't pour water on a burning pan/oil/grease in the kitchen, cover it with a damp cloth or towel. Water will make it explode like a bomb."</p><p>"Same goes for gasoline I believe - the burning gasoline will just float on top, still aflame, but now spreading more easily to something else flammable."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/gocq1vu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bodhi85uk</a></p>
Ya Never Know<p>"If you have to eat crickets or similar insects, chew them. DO NOT EAT THEM ALIVE. They have spines on their legs which can cling to your throat and are very difficult to remove without a decent amount of force (i.e. you cant "shake" your throat like you would your hand to remove them)."</p><p>"If they block your wind pipe, you'll asphyxiate."</p><p>"I used to work at a pet store, I've had to explain this to quite a few people who wanted to do "Fear Factor" parties or dares or pranks."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/gocqtun?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AzoriumLupum</a></p>
Counter-Intuitive Warnings<p>"If one of your depressed friends suddenly starts acting really happy or peaceful, don't leave them alone."</p><p>"When suicidal people have a plan and are about to kill themselves, it can make them feel relieved which can make it look like their depression is getting better."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/gocxdjo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mylifeisathrowaway10</a></p>
Culture shock is an understatement.
Have you ever gone abroad and seen something just... so out of whack and strange that you couldn't help but fixate on it? Like, yes, other countries are very different than the United States. But different is not the reason that we are so perplexed and somewhat horrified.
Like It's No Big Deal<p>The guy that flashed my friends and me in a very nice park in central Europe. </p><p>We were having a picnic. </p><p>He was very polite about it, saying "Excuse me girls, I'm just going to do this in front of you." And then did so.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/pozzledC/" target="_blank">pozzledC</a></p>
Saving A Stranger<p>In the middle of the winter, flying back to Canada, from a Caribbean Island, a middle age man was ready to board the plane with a very thin teenage girl wearing flip flops, shorts and a poncho.</p><p>The girl had a shaved head, the man wouldn't let go of her, she was staring at the floor he entire time, everything looked just odd.</p><p>The flight attendants were doing all sorts of delaying maneuvers. My family and I were late and boarded right after them. Before the flight took off, the police came into the plane and started asking questions, and took the man and girl off the plane. The girl didn't speak any English, Spanish or French.</p><p>I'm convinced that the airline personnel saved a girl being trafficked into Canada.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Mission-Cloud360/" target="_blank">Mission-Cloud360</a></p>
An Eye For An Eye<p>Cyprus in the mid nineties, I was 15 and on holiday with my parents.</p><p>I saw an old Cypriot guy getting beaten within an inch of his life by a young Russian guy, after a row over unpaid rent. As i understood it the Russian was renting an apartment of the victim.</p><p>Police promptly turned up and dragged the Russian guy into the nearest building.</p><p>The Cypriot guy was taken to hospital by ambulance and a short while later the Russian guy was brought out of the building on a stretcher and was also taken to hospital once the police had dealt with him.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/irv81/" target="_blank">irv81</a></p>
Just A Bit Of A Disagreement<p>In a small town in Korea, I saw two guys run out of a restaurant. One of them was holding a 10 inch kitchen knife and shoved it into the other guy's belly. The guy's standing there holding the knife in his gut and an old lady comes out of the restaurant and starts hitting him in the head with her shoe.</p><p>Two other guys jumped on the stabber and held him on the ground. Ambulance came and loaded the stabbee and drove away, cops came and drove the stabber away, restaurant owner came out with a bucket of water and washed the blood off his steps.</p><p>Turned out it was a wedding party and there was a bit of a disagreement.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/standing_lamp/" target="_blank">standing_lamp</a></p>
Dominoes<p>Was in Mexico City for a work assignment. Had just gone to dinner in the Zona Rosa (pink zone). Walking back to the hotel I saw a hit and run. </p><p>A pedestrian was thrown thru the air and flung to the ground. A lot of people witnessed this and an ambulance was called. </p><p>The ambulance came screaming around the corner, going really fast, and hit another pedestrian. Who then was thrown thru the air and flung to the ground. It was awful.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Antique-Eye8029/" target="_blank">Antique-Eye8029</a></p>
Unhelpful Cops<p>I don't know if I qualify as a "tourist", because Barcelona is in my country and not far from my hometown.</p><p>Anyway, me and my sis were walking down the Ramblas in early afternoon, and the place was packed. A group of American teenagers was using an ATM. </p><p>And they were taking precautions, because the area is infamous for its pickpockets, so they were not to blame. But as soon as one girl took the banknotes from the ATM, a kid took them from her hand and raced to the adjacent streets.</p><p>We took the teens to the police precinct, but they weren't very helpful. The first thing they asked is that if we had apprehended the robber. And then we had to insist so they took a record of the incident.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Ramoncin/" target="_blank">Ramoncin</a></p>
In Front Of A CHILD?!<p>Back in 1978 when i was 10, i went to Jamaica with my Mom. One morning after coming out of the British embassy, I saw four baby mongoose in a rain gully about 5 feet deep behind where we were waiting for a bus. </p><p>I thought they were adorable and started feeding them by throwing them biscuits. Some guy saw me doing that, walked over and dropped a large brick on them killing them instantly. I was pretty inconsolable for several hours.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Judge-Giant-snr/" target="_blank">Judge-Giant-snr</a></p>
The Horrors Of The Past<p>I was walking through a forest in central France when I came across a group of old style horse drawn Gypsy caravans in a clearing. </p><p>They were obviously very old and looked like they had just been abandoned. There was a very eerie, unsettling feel to the place so I took a few photos and moved on. </p><p>A couple of days later I was talking to an old guy in the village and he explained that the Gypsies had been dragged from their wagons and murdered by the invading Nazis during WW2. Out of respect the surviving Gypsies in the region just left the caravans where they were.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Johhnymaddog316/" target="_blank">Johhnymaddog316</a></p>
Crazy People In Every Country<p>Was in Serbia and my collegue i was there with and i had rented a car to go explore the beautiful country. We followed google maps but end up on a dirt road in some small village like area and and had to make a turn. It was heavily raining and we got the car stuck. </p><p>We couldn't get it unstuck on our own so we wanted to ask for help and as we approached the first nearby house a large dog came running out barking loudly and an elderly looking man came out with a rifle yelling at us in serbian. </p><p>We decided next house was a better bet and they were the kindest people on earth. We told them that we had tried the other house with no luck and they told us we were lucky to be alive.</p><p> Apparently the man had a reputation but they didn't wanna to further into details.</p><p>No more dirt roads for me thanks.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/QuinteX1994/" target="_blank">QuinteX1994</a></p>
The Price Of A Lifetime<p>I was on a business trip, but had a couple days at the end of the trip for myself in New Delhi, India. Somehow, I got to talking with the bartender at my hotel about my hobby of keeping reef aquariums and that I was designing a new system. </p><p>He told me about an entire street in New Delhi where every shop sells nothing but various pumps. Pumps of all kinds and very cheap. (Pumps for reef tanks can push $1000, so I thought I would have a look. Besides, I had been wanting to try out New Delhi's metro system, and there was a metro station right near "Pump Street")</p><p>So I hop on the metro (very nice, actually. Highly recommended) and exit the station on "Pump Street". Sure enough...hundreds of pump stores line one entire side of the street.</p>
It's remarkable when Hollywood stereotypes and plot dynamics are replicated in real life. It's remarkable because it's rare, so when it does happen we lose our cynical outlook of movies as far-fetched flights of fancy.
And one of the classic archetypes is the treatment of popular kids.