Racism is terrible, there's no room for debate on that. But sometimes terrible things can also be terribly weird.
Today we're going to talk about instances of racism that left the victim confused more than hurt. Because, apparently, some people need to be told that Asian women are allowed to be named Lisa.
One Reddit user asked:
And fam, I cannot handle it. Some of these people legitimately seem like they mean well - which kind of makes things worse, honestly.
A Kobe Fan
Ok I'm a 17 year old half black male and I'm at the counter at McDonald's, taking orders and such and then this old guy comes up to the counter to order. This was a week after Kobe Bryant's death (I'm not exactly a sports person but it's important to the story)
So I do the usual "Hi sir how is your day going?" And what happened next was the most surreal customer experience I've ever had.
He goes BEHIND THE COUNTER and puts his hand on my shoulder and asks "Are ya a Kobe fan?" Not really thinking because this creepy old dude is right behind the counter I respond with a confused "Yes?"
He goes on to say "Oh I could tell by the color of your skin"
I was really uncomfortable and I nudged over for my coworker to save me and she luckily comes to my rescue by saying that I needed to go sweep and that she'd finish the order. That is still my weirdest customer experience to date.
To See How My Dark Skin Would Reactcoffee winks GIF Giphy
I have a few, but the one I was most confused about happened when I was at the mall. I'm a dark-skinned Black woman and I live in Canada. Even though it's a predominantly white country Black people do exist and it's very multicultural and multiracial so this incident can't even be thrown to a "never seen a Black person" territory.
So, I was at the mall with my sister going down the escalator and there was this white woman behind me holding a coffee in her hand. So as we're going down I feel a light touch on my back and I turn around and she just looks at me in shock.
I realize she was trying touch my skin. This is not that uncommon as many people touch me or my hair without my consent which is another story entirely.
I let it go cause I didn't want to assume anything and it could have been an innocent touch. So I turn around. And all of sudden I feel hot coffee on my back.
This women poured her coffee on my back intentionally. At first I thought it was accidental so before she says anything, I started to reassure it's okay, because who would purposely pour coffee on another person.
But she just keeps looking at the place she poured the coffee just repeating "Wow. I've never seen skin that dark. Wow. Wow. Look at how it slides down. So soft. Wow."
And then it clicks she poured it intentionally to see how my dark skin would react to the coffee. This incident still shocks me today and I just remember thinking....did that just happen?
Sing Something Black
I was asked to sing at a graduation event in college. I was asked because I have experience in musical theater and singing in general and they wanted a member of the faculty to do it.
The director of the faculty sent me at least 10 voice messages telling me what he wanted me to sing. It was just different forms of "something black". Like the first two audios he suggested like 10 black artists, then he said I should sing something from [a black city I am NOT from], then he said something about how it should honor my "roots", then he said he wanted me to sing something soulful, then he went back to mention other black cities he assumed my family was from.
The director and I are from the same city and live in the same neighborhood. By the end of it I was so confused. Also this happened last week and I still don't know what I'm gonna sing but I'm really into the idea of rickrolling him.
I was hanging outside a bar with my current boyfriend and a bunch of other people when an homeless woman sauntered up and said to my boyfriend, "Do you like sleeping with that gook with her sideways vagina?"
Everyone went quiet and she just walked away.
The weird bit was that I was the only person there that didn't know that the word was a slur. So I just stood there really lost after hearing some really old-timey racism.
We Just Wanted Dumplings
My friend's story not mine.
She was invited to another friends house for a dumpling party. It's where a bunch of friends get together and everyone brings dumplings. Everybody gets to eat some and take some home with them.
The host had a friend from school come as well and at the end of the night, that friend said, "Thank you for the cultural experience."
She was completely serious. Lady .. we just wanted dumplings. Sometimes woke goes too far. But now we say that jokingly to each other whenever we go get Chinese food.
Turn Out Your Pockets2 Chainz Pockets GIF by MOST EXPENSIVEST Giphy
My friend invited me over his house and his parents allowed me to stay the night. I was a teen at the time and during dinner his dad said if I wanted to sleep over he was cool.
Well the next morning before I left his grandma asked me to pull out my pockets before I left to make sure I didn't steal anything. To date I've never felt more dehumanized.
I know the feeling. I had cops with guns drawn on me, cuff and slam me on the hood of their car, pull everything out of my pockets and threw it on the ground. They put me in the back of the patrol car and asked what gang I was a member of. I told them the biggest gang in the world, the United States Navy.
They looked at my leave papers, apologized and said they thought I was part of an Asian gang and released me.
The Wrong Slur
Went to a bar while back visiting my hometown. Small town in the Midwest. Drunk, angry hillbilly looks at me and says "filthy wetback".
The brazenness took me off guard, so I wasn't even offended. After the situation sank in, I got my friends and we left, because who knows what a racist piece of sh*t and his friends might try to pull if we hang out too long.
Also, I'm Asian, so if he's not even smart enough to call me a ching chong and not a wetback, he's probably more dangerous than a normal racist.
I went to college at a diverse school - it wasn't like it was at all unusual to encounter Asians. One fresh September day, we have the first TA-led group session for a course.
I was one of the earlier students to arrive, so I chitchat with the TA. She praises my English in a patronizing way, which is a bit off-putting given that I've lived in this country for the vast majority of my life and speak English more fluently than any other language (and not to brag, but test scores and my eventual career suggest better than your average Canadian). I do not have any accent at all.
Once we're all settled, she goes around asking for names, and writes them out on the board to help her remember. When she gets to me, I say "Lisa".
She writes down... Lee Sah.
I laugh and tell her that it's spelled the usual way.
She responds that she's sorry, but she's not sure what the usual way is.
I finally get though when I say "like the white kind of Lisa."
I'm white, but have a good story:
A family member was (is?) convinced president Obama was born in Kenya and his birth certificate was fake. The family member's main "evidence" is that the hospital, Kapiolani medical center, sounds like a fake and made-up name.
One minor flaw in this logic: we lived in Hawaii for several years. We've been to Kapiolani Medical Center--it definitely exists.
As someone who grew up in Hawaii (ironically near Kapiolani), you'd be surprised how many people don't really know that its a part of the US. I've applied for jobs here in the mainland and I've had managers ask for my immigration papers or my passport when filling out my w2 forms.
Dreamy And Racist
Brown guy. I was with a girl I was dating. We had a tender moment ruined when, while cuddled in my arms, she said:
"Sometimes you think a race of people is not attractive and that you would never date one, but one comes along who is so incredibly pretty that he changes your entire world."
I sat there for a moment because she meant it as a complement and she was being all day dreamy in my arms while at the same time I realized how grossly racist it was
Kung Fu In Courtkung fu no GIF Giphy
Asian American, I was born and raised in the Midwestern USA and English is my first and only fluent language. I got a fix-it ticket for a burnt out headlight a couple years back and before getting it replaced I ended up getting carjacked at gunpoint. The guys ended up totaling the car in a high speed chase with the police.
A couple days later I go to my assigned court date for the aforementioned ticket and explain that I won't be getting my headlight replaced since, ya know, I got f*cking carjacked and had a shotgun stuck in my face.
The clerk to the judge (middle aged white lady) looks at me and with a straight face and says: "What? Don't you know kung fu?"
I don't think she meant to be malicious or racist but it's amazing that people are that daft. It's pretty messed up how open racism towards Asian people is just tolerated since we're 'model minorities' and considered to be timid and subservient.
Donuts And Respect
I went to this 24 hour donut/bagel spot. This woman approached me before I began sinking my teeth into a lox sandwich and said: "Just because you're Mexican doesn't mean you don't deserve respect"
That's it. Just said it and dipped. I felt like her intention may have been wholesome, but her execution was poor and came off as her trying to to convince herself that I'm deserving of respect.
Hoo BOY I have a particular confusing racism story I continually bring up:
I was working when a middle-aged white lady came up to me to ask some things. I answered her, it being my job, and she made a face and asks:
"Hey that's an odd accent you have, where are you from?"
I answered "Mexico"
and she said "Oh... you know you're quite tall and pretty handsome, you could get away with telling people you're Italian so you know..."
At this point she left. I was just frozen and baffled. She said this like it was earnest life-changing wisdom.
In America We Don't Do That
I'm an American born Asian. Freshman year of HS, this Mormon kid from Utah moved to my school in a wealthy and very diverse East coast suburb. Randomly, the Mormon kid would say something to me in passing as if in response to something I said or did to him earlier in the day. Except I never talked to the guy and had no idea what he was talking to me about.
I would just shrug and ignore his odd confrontations with me.
One day I'm sitting near all our duffle bags stretching between races at a track meet. The Mormon kid comes up to me and starts scolding and lecturing me that: "In America, we don't just go into other people's belongings and borrow stuff without asking. we have to ask permission, and if the answer is yes, then you can borrow something..."
He was literally explaining to me how I should behave since I'm in America now. I just give him an evil eye mixed with disgust and contempt for lecturing me about something I didn't do, as though I'm a newly immigrated 5 year old.
Still, I'm confused as f*ck about him, thinking he must be psychotic.
Ten minutes go by and another kid I barely know comes up and grabs a hat from the Mormon kids bag in front of me. It's an Asian kid, fairly newly immigrant from China. This kid is a good 40 pounds lighter than me. Completely different haircut. No resemblance to me at all other than also being Asian.
He tells me he's been f*cking with this racist Mormon kid since day 1. He's been pulling pranks like, in this instance, repeatedly taking his hat from his duffle bag and giving it to someone else to wear.
Racist Mormon kid thinks it's me pulling pranks on him this whole time, because he can't tell 2 completely different looking Asians apart from each other. I'm Japanese, tall, and have no accent. The prank boy is Chinese short, and has a very Chinese accent. I already mentioned the hair.
All I could do was shake my head Captain Picard Style.
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Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.
All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?
Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:
What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
I am claustrophobic. It paralyzes my life. I can't ride elevators. I freak out at amusement parks. And don't get me started on trains in New York that get stuck in the tunnel. Why am I like this?
"I was about 7 or 8 when I heard some noise coming from the garage. My mom was at work and I was being babysat by one of my uncles. I went to open the garage to find my other uncle strangling his girlfriend up against the car. She had blood coming out of her nose and mouth. I just froze and stood there staring and my uncle didn't even notice and continued choking and strangling her."
"My other uncle came to the door where I was standing saw what was happening and grabbed me. He called my mom and then the police who later came and arrested my uncle. There's more to this story I wasn't privy to at such a young age. But yeah my other uncle is crazy. He's been to jail a few times, has anger and control issues."
"Going to another person's house and realizing that living in filth and decay and having breathing problems isn't the norm. Having dinner every night and a clean room was just a regular day in their household. Grass is always greener right? Especially when yours is dead and everyone from school thinks your house is haunted. Smh good riddance."
"Watching my grandpa slowly waste away on our living room couch. He had a paraganglioma on his pancreas, and there was nothing (especially in 1980) that could be done for him. I was four, and he was my favorite person, and I couldn't sit with him, or hug him, or anything. I miss him even after 40 years. Either that or my best friend dying over Christmas break in 1988. I miss her too. I pretty much hated everything after that."
"I saw my Dad get swept away and drowned when I was 11. It's really something I've never recovered from. It's been 16 years and not a day goes by I don't remember it. I live with it. I think we have to for those who we've lost. I always kind of imagine it as a sort of like an emotional loss of a limb. I haven't lost a limb, but I imagine you adapt to not having it. You learn. But you never forget you are missing an arm or a leg."
It's taken me years to confront my struggle. Finally a little while ago, I tried hypnotherapy and I was able to recover a childhood memory that manifested into my phobia. I was trapped in handcuffs as a joke by my babysitter's brother. Six hours.
"The older I got through my teens, the more my step-father's alcoholism spiralled out of control, and the more I was biding my time until I was 18 and would head off to college. Education was my only escape in my mind. Every instance of physical and emotional abuse had to be met with, "just shut up and take it, it'll be over someday." Really wish I could give that kid who slept on the floor of a three-bedroom trailer a hug and say that he'd make it out and get a master's degree. I feel like I just won a decade-long war."
"I had a dog that I absolutely loved. I begged for this dog in a Walmart parking lot a week before my 3rd birthday, my mom said I could have the dog but that meant no birthday presents or cake just the dog (she lied, I got presents, cake, and dog.) This dog went everywhere with me and did everything with me. Despite being a tiny mutt he would do his best to protect me from our Doberman who did not like me."
"In fairness to the doberman, as a 2 yr old I did stomp on his nuts for some unbeknownst reason so no hard feelings on not liking me. When I was 5 my mom became a truck driver so we moved in with my grandparents on their farm. While I was at school one day Bouncy had gotten into the fence with the donkeys and was kicked in the head."
"When I got off the bus I couldn't figure out why he wasn't waiting on me. My grandparents met me outside and told me what happened, then walked me in to where he was. He died 30 minutes after I got home like he was waiting to see me. I haven't been able to bond with a pet since."
"I saw our neighbor's collie killed by a driver speeding through the neighborhood. As a young boy, it had real impact because I loved her, and it hurt when he stuck his head out the driver's door window, grinned, and just sped off - leaving the dog dead in the road and me - a kid - in tears. As I once commented, how anyone could be so callous and cruel was beyond my imagination."
"I actually don't remember the event much, but when I was really young (~6years old) I was playing outside and I heard a woman screaming. I was curious so I went across the street to see a bunch of smoke coming out of the cracks in the front door. Didn't see any flames initially so I didn't put two and two together right away. My Dad saw me across the street in the driveway just staring at the house and when he investigated what I was doing he realized the house was on fire. Whole house burnt down."
"Older woman fell asleep on her couch with a lit cigarette. I was traumatized by fire as a kid and I was petrified about burning alive in my sleep for quite some time. Dad had to install a fire escape ladder in my room, fire extinguishers, etc. I was obsessed with what to do in case of fires as a kid. No longer an issue, but my parents still tell me stories about how they knew that messed me up."
"I was 12 and sat down at the edge of a sidewalk to pet a cat crossing the road. I lived on a very quiet, but wide street. Even if a car drove by, there would've been a lot of room, as I was in an area reserved for parallel parking. (No cars were parked though). All of a sudden a big red car sped up and swerved to hit the cat. It missed me by inches, and instantly killed the cat. It was decades ago, and I still think about it often."
"Oh, hands down, my mother alcoholism. It really messes you up in ways that you cannot imagine. And you don't even realize that until years after. I still can't drink alcohol because of it, it terrifies me to even entertain the possibility to become something close to her."
I survived. But, I'm still haunted. I think I always will be. But I have learned to manage. We all struggle with the past. We were too young to process. But now we have to try. You're not alone.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.
And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.
Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.
The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...
Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:
Why are you single?
Give too much. Give too little. Pay for the first date. Don't pay for anything. I've heard it all. Sometimes it all worked, sometimes it didn't. Let's hear more...
Nemo?Finding Nemo Movie GIFGiphy
"There are plenty of fish in the sea. Unfortunately, I live in the desert."
"My girlfriend passed, and I can't figure out how to fall out of love with a dead woman."
"I think the only way I could move forward is knowing I will always love and cherish her memory, but am capable of loving another as well. Then again there's nothing wrong with making peace with the fact you've had the love of your life and staying single."
"I tell myself it's by choice."
"Here is the reality, it may make some feel better. If you aren't using a dating app, not going to bars/clubs or putting yourself out there, you have made a conscious choice not to date. If you are ok with this, you have NOTHING to be ashamed or worried about. Some people are wired differently. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship. If you are not ok with this, you need to make some changes in your life. And no, it's not their fault. Do some introspection."
"Self esteem issues. Anyone I like enough to date deserves better than me."
"I have a question for you, I suspect that this person I really care for a lot also really cares a lot for me but they push me away despite never fighting having any disagreements or ever a bad time or issue of any type. In fact, we've always really enjoyed each other's company. So my question is would you or have you just given up on someone despite really liking them because you thought that they'd just leave you anyway and couldn't possibly be happy with you--and they'd would be disappointed? Thinking you're doing them a favor?
"It's not really that I would be worried about them leaving or being disappointed with me. I'm disappointed in myself, and I wouldn't want to bring that into a relationship. I don't like me, so how can I ask someone else to? If I've given up on myself, then I'm really not bringing anything to the relationship except baggage. I'm not sure I'm doing them a favor, but I am sure that they will find someone better than me."
"Also, I swear I'm a functioning human lol. These are legit the deep dark thoughts that come out in the wee hours of the morning. I am trying to fight against this train of thought as much as I can, but I hope you can see why I wouldn't want to make this someone else's problem, especially someone that I care for deeply."
The Appeal...So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"I assume because I'm not appealing in any way to anyone"
no one else....
"I can barely handle myself, what makes you think I could handle some other fool?!"
"For me, it is a choice. In my country, marriage is set up by parents and children barely have a say in 90% cases. I am 35 now and still single, think of it how you will. I just detest human interactions. When I try to recall the happiest moments of my life, all of them were with my dogs, gods help their departed souls. I can't imagine spending intimate time with another human being. And a relationship is unnecessary bondage. It is an utter waste of time, money, energy and everything one can imagine."
"I'm a physically ugly dude who generally dates by having people get to know me for a while, look past my looks and develop feelings for me. Post-university this has been extremely difficult, as I don't have enough people coming through my life despite my best efforts, and doubly so in a dating market that is so thoroughly warped by looks-based online dating."
"I lack the social skills."
"It's difficult, I avoided people and bonding with people because I was too insecure about being socially unskilled and this only gets worse with time, people are growing and getting better at it, but I barely started really."
ConnectionsDont Touch Me Season 9 GIF by FriendsGiphy
"I don't connect with people very well. I have a hard time talking to people I care about normal things, and I have an even harder time talking to them about my feelings. On top of that I have really bad social anxiety and I don't have a lot of friends, so the chances of me actually getting in a relationship is basically zero."
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Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.
Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.
If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.
Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:
"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"
Let's learn from the masters!
What a common mistake!
"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."
"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."
"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."
"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."
"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."
"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."
"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."
Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.
"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."
"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"
You can't take back what you've already put in.
"You can always add, but you cannot take away."
"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."
"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."
"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."
"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."
"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"
"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."
"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."
How else will you know it tastes good?
"Taste the food."
"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."
"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."
Here's one just for laughs.
"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."
"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."
If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.
Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!
If all else fails, you can always order take out.
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As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.
One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.
Fast forward to our grocery store trip with our mother, my younger sister, and myself. Sister was having a fit over wanting one of those cheap plastic toy packs they hang in some of the aisles. Mom said no.
Cue the scream, my little blonde sister lets out a wail and starts yelling for the entire store to hear "Stop it! You aren't my mom! You aren't my mommy! No!" My mom tried to grab her hand and tell her to stop but then realized that in doing so it made the scene look worse.
It was such a mix of mortification and humor that I just stood there. Little sister stopped after a few minutes, pretty sure she got her prized toy just to shut up. Now that I'm older it's a wonder the police didn't come.
Redditor Granted01 wanted to hear the most embarrassing childhood moments the internet had to offer and asked the subreddit:
“What inappropriate thing did you do as a child that you didn't realise was inappropriate?"
The answers make us want to crawl into a hole for them.
“My parents used to keep mini bottles of liquor in the fridge (the ones you'd find in hotel mini bar). We had to make our own lunches at times when mom and dad were busy with work and my first-grade self decided to empty the bottles into the sink and put juice in them to bring to school… my parents got a call that day from school lol." wander-lux
On my--well, him...
“Not me but my daughter. We live in a place where we don't see many people of different ethnicities but one day she saw a Muslim man with a beard dressed in the long white outfit, and she was convinced he was God."
“No idea why but she wouldn't leave the dude alone (she was 4) and started reeling off a Christmas list.. turns out Santa and God were mixed up too. Thankfully he found it funny." ApricotSuperb7196
“Not me, but my sister used to lap her drinks up like a dog. Turns out she was calling this "doggy style". One time they forgot to bring her a straw at the restaurant we were in and she loudly screamed "guess I'll do it doggy style". I think she was 7 or 8 at the time." knotsy-
Not what they’re called…
“I used to call those pigeons with the pointy tuft on their heads ‘horny birds’. I would yell it out so loudly too -.- my mum told me she had to look away every time I did it because it made her laugh until she cried. Obviously I wasnt told until later because I was only 5 at the time.” Artherwritethiss
Anything but that *gag*
“I used to play with this cup in the bath and drink water out of it for years, did it in the shower too as i got older, it had a handle on the end of it and I never knew why. One day I witnessed my mother use this cup in the toilet violently, and that was the moment I realized what a plunger was."
“It scared me I was about 10 when I realized what I had been using as a toy. I would fill it up with water in the bath or shower and play with it, and sip the water out of it, etc as kids do with toys I guess. Probably never forget that." That-nz-guyChannel 9 Brush GIF by Married At First Sight AustraliaGiphy
“riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town…”
“I was a serious nudist as a child. My parents could never keep me in my clothes. My older sister would have her friends over who I had a crush on and I'd run outside butt naked to see them. There's a story that I still get teased about to this day of when my neighbor called my mom at work to tell her I was riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town completely nude.” jdbuck99
“I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard…”
“I grew up on Looney Tunes & would call people who were mean to me stinkers or dirty bastards. I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard cause he started teasing me. I had my mom dying.” Kuriosity93
“my mum made me forge her papers…”
“When I was like 12 my mom was on probation and had to do community service. (Still no idea why) I had pretty good cursive handwriting at the time and my mum made me forge her papers and sign her p.o's name saying she was doing her service. Good times. Thanks for the memories mum.” osum_o_posum
Why didn’t they say anything!?
“When I was in 5th grade we made a calendar to take home. We each had our picture taken and glued to cover and were allowed to decorate it and each of the following months however we chose."
“Being 10 (nearly 11) there was so much that I didn't know about the world. What made it tick and more importantly, its history. Prior to the creative masterpiece that was unfolding in class, at home, I had walked in on my dad watching a WWII documentary where they showed footage of the German regalia and, subsequently, their flags."
“Not knowing any better, I thought the 'windmill' symbol was really cool and decided it should be on the cover of this calendar. One in each corner with my photo smack dab in the middle."
“No one said anything to me about it. It went through the lamination machine and was sent home with me. I wish I could've seen my teacher's reaction while she thought one of her students had skinheads for parents..." FusedByFire
A different way to say hello…
“Right, so anyone who's seen Mr. Bean (the movie) probably remembers the scene where he waves his middle finger at people tryna say hi? I did that. To an elderly person. Need I say more.” Blackrap1d
These cringe-worthy and laughable moments are brought to you by the ignorance of childhood. We've nearly all had a moment like this growing up, some just way, way worse than others.